Fart!!!

[absolutbliss]

Bawhahahahahwahha! I hope this is the right place to put this so, ....


Yesterday at work I was dealing with this really arrogant, over-the-top touchy/feely as-hole....

He actually wanted a few dances. Ok, at least I'll make some cash for putting up with this guy...


So for whatever reason, I had REALLY bad gas! They type you can't hold back, etc. I figured, eh, the music is loud enough, what the hell! It was great. I probably farted on this guy three times. Not loud so he could hear, but enough to where I could tell what was going on.

I honestly feel bad for his pants! *hehe, go ahead, try grabbing my boob again *ph-ffffffff-----bbbtt!**

hahhhaahhhha! sorry i had to tell!

[kryssy]

That's too funny!

One girl I worked with used to be able to fart on command. If a guy was being a total jerk to one of the girls she would walk by and fart right next to his head! LMAO

[Alexis81]

Strippers don't have gas!
We have Gas-x (seriously it works really well) I too have had the unfortuniate experience of letting one rip before

[Lyssa Lynn]

Serves him right!! Good for you.

[PaigeDWinter]

I've done that.... and I've also done it on stage when girls I hate are up after me. Muhahahaa!!

[BlackSheEp3]

hahah man you guys...i would have never thought. I hope a dancer doesnt do that to me,

[leogirl876]

That's hilarious! Maybe the guy will think twice about being so grabby next time! When you said you felt bad about his pants, why, did something else come out too? hehehe!!!!

[Bridgette]

LMAO! I have farted on assholes before too They deserve it

[Andygirl]

I've farted all over the club. No one is the wiser.

[Mare]

Best one was I had a custie fart while I was dancing 4 him. Ewww.

[hazeljames]

i always fart around asshole customers... right before i walk away. stupid jerks deserve it

[ViolaStrings]

When guys used to ask me what the rules were, this was the usual dialogue...

Customer: "What happens if I touch your pussy?"
Me: "I slap you in the face."
Customer: "What happens if I touch your breasts?"
Me: "I slap you in the face"
Customer: "I guess if I touch your ass, you'll slap me in the face"
Me: "No, I'll fart on your hand first"

[Optimist]

Originally Posted by ViolaStrings

When guys used to ask me what the rules were, this was the usual dialogue...

Customer: "What happens if I touch your pussy?"
Me: "I slap you in the face."
Customer: "What happens if I touch your breasts?"
Me: "I slap you in the face"
Customer: "I guess if I touch your ass, you'll slap me in the face"
Me: "No, I'll fart on your hand first"

Oh GOD I love you!!!!

One time the club was full of guys sitting at the tiprail, not tipping and not buying dances. The DJ did a two-for-one, but they weren't buying that either. After I went around the room and no one wanted a twofer, I took the long way back to the dressing room and crop-dusted the whole row. Heh.

[JustJayda]

That's awesome, as long as you don't mistake a fart for a shart! remember "somethin'" on Flavor of love!!!

[PookaShell]

Thats effing hilarious.

[sxybrat07]

Bwahahaha we don't have lapdances here, but I've been known to go over where guys are sitting on the tiprail and fart when they're being assholes. My fav is a girl I work with though, she walks over to where the guys are, farts, and then goes to the other side of the stage for a minute and dances...then comes back and exclaims loudly "OMG what is that SMELL???"

Priceless lol.

hahaa

wait.

hahahahahha

yah I think we've all done it I think its our only get back that isn't voilent. unless we've eaten taco bell recently.

I was once in the VIP room with this customer dancing ( not at the club im at now ) and my friend and i had both drank so many redbulls our stomachs were just fucked up. So we were dancing and I bunny fluffed but it was rank so I just shoved my boobs in the guys face till my friend motioned that "its all clear" and i let him up for air.

[dancinslifoxxx17]

Yep. I'm guilty. I fart on stage and off stage. I once had a guy offer me $200 to fart on him. Of course I didn't have to then. Bummer...

[MeganS]

But the worst is when you're fully nude on stage, bent over, and some custy actually lets out a rank one, and it looks like you did it! I honestly don't think I've ever farted on or around a customer. The sound wouldn't matter, but I don't want to be thought of for having rank guts!

[BLOWN]

omg..too funny!!..lol!!

[naughtyallthetime]

This is great stuff!! let me add one

know a chick farted in a nude club bent over, right in this guys face. that got her a couple hundered dollars, and more money if she did it again. it was a bummer that she was all done then.

[X Evan X]

Yenk got it! haha we have been calling that crop-dusting at our clubs forever now. I seriously wish I could fart more and the only thing funnier than walking past tables with heads at "ass" level is that you guys get to do it right in their laps. I'm jealous


I do remember the story that the housemom Babs @ Cheetah tells tho, you have to be careful ladies. When she was Mom at Gold Club a girl was dancing on top of a table full of guys when she accidentally dropped a milk-dud right in the middle of the table. She told Babs (between tears and sobs) that she thought she only had to fart, she was seriously distraught over it poor thing


-E

Thats just too funny!!

[LuckiCharm]

LMAO!!!! omg...i wonder who it was...i work at oasis and know alot of girls who used to work at cheetah LMAO i swear i would have to dance in a whole other state! id absolutely die!!!