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Chrissy68
11-29-2007, 06:22 PM
ughhhh :head wall:
this is a bad situation and keeps getting worse.
today i text to ask why she's still avoiding me.

she replies that: "We are not giving you any more money. You overcharged for rent and micro managed every thing we did while we were living there. Chris (hubby) and I have talked a lot about it and he said we arent going to give any more money to you. He wanted me to ignore you. But i wanted you to know why we arent paying. I am not supposed to tlak to you any more regarding this issue. I hope we can put it behind us someday."

first off, i split my mortgage with them. exactly half. $567. so how that's overcharging i do not know. as for micro managing them, sounds like a problem with my personality. whatever, i know i didnt, i did ask for basic respect of my things (like dont put your feet on the table, no food upstairs bec i dont want roaches upstairs etc) but they are entitled to that opinion. as for him telling her to just ignore me... WHOA! wtf! im .. im hurt, floored he'd act this way, and shocked that she'd go along wtih it. sounds like he's manipulating her to the max, saying that she's not "supposed" to talk to me abotu this. wow. im shocked.

but i was angry. so i replied: "So wait, when i charged you exactly half of my mortgage that's overcharging? Ha! You want to lose a friend? Done. You want a lawsuit? Done."

so she sends back: "you have no proof of anything. you should learn to chill out. i am done with this bull shit. i am sick of being afraid of you and your moods."

wtf?? moods? afraid?? am i suddenly an abuser? im shocked again by this. it sounds like another excuse. Emily, Phillyvixen, am i moody? i mean, i can be bitchy at times but i usually own up to that.

i sent back one last text, and this is how it was left as she hasn't yet replied: "No proof? I have the checks deposited into my account every month. Im floored that this is how you choose to treat someone who gave you months to pay back. Moods? Lol."

Alaska
11-29-2007, 06:29 PM
Holy shit! That's beyond resentment. They made you out to be a MONSTER! I wonder if she's making up the part about he told her not to talk to you. If they thought you'd be such a miserable roomate, they should have never lived there in the first place. ('SPECIALLY....when they could have found a *much* cheaper place, right?) And why would they agree to being overcharged on rent month after month??

I fucking hate HATE it when ppl get emotions mixed up in money. None of this "you're a bitch."....it's MONEY that you OWE ....doesn't matter....

yea I know I'm just statin the obvious here, but I'm really sorry it turned out as bad as it did...that's terrible.


OMFG anyone who is incapable of coming up with less than $300 in rent a month, or have to bitch that that is too much, is mind blowingly ridiculous.

zxcire
11-29-2007, 06:33 PM
In all honesty, it sounds like she's afraid of *HIS* moods.

She doesn't want his involvement, won't talk when he's around, she "decides" things after talking with him...etc.

I may be way off base but it doesn't seem right to me.

Alaska
11-29-2007, 06:34 PM
i am fairly certain they will pay or try to negotiate with me as opposed to just pretending it never existed and moving on.

Awww poor Chrissy.

Jenny
11-29-2007, 06:37 PM
Well technically, since there were three of you, and you were paying half, you were UNDER charging them.

I'm sorry. What an awful situation for you.

LoveSexMoney
11-29-2007, 07:02 PM
send the text messages to your email and print them out to add to your court file.

Elusive21
11-29-2007, 09:20 PM
Oh man, this whole situation is terrible. I say just take them to court; the friendship is already ruined, so you might as well get your money back. I'm sorry, hon. :(

Sophia_Starina
11-29-2007, 09:25 PM
Omigosh!!! You should take her ass to Judge Judy!!! Eeeee! I love that show...

http://www.judgejudy.com/SubmitCase/submitcase.asp

Chrissy68
11-29-2007, 11:30 PM
Well technically, since there were three of you, and you were paying half, you were UNDER charging them.

I'm sorry. What an awful situation for you.

that's what i said to my bf earlier. i was like, you know... there were three of us.. and i paid half... so... umm... yeaaaa.. and the worst part is, i cut them massive deals on utilities. like, electric, we split in half: i paid 50% and the two of them paid 50% together. but on gas, i told them (apologized too) that it would have to be split three ways. and they biiiiitched abotu that. man.

Alaska: yeah, i NEVER thought it would come to this. i feel betrayed.

zxcire: yes! i think something is way off. way way off there. poor girl, i think she done smoked her brain away. or at least, smoked away the ability to rationally understand situations.

MinahSky
11-29-2007, 11:41 PM
Wow. Well, I'd remember this the next time they come around with a hand out.

You seemed to be the only one concerned with saving this so-called friendship. If you hadn't gone about contacting them, what would have happened? I mean, reread your posts, Hon.

AlexxaHex
11-30-2007, 12:42 AM
Their loss!!

Sophia_Starina
11-30-2007, 12:47 AM
Damn, Chrissy! It's true.... No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

Fucken' Fuck!

I'll internet hug you now... :hug:

Chrissy68
11-30-2007, 12:51 AM
:rotfl:

i know. that did make me lmao after the fact. at the time, i was angry as shiiiit. but now, im laughing my ass seriously off.

Dottie Rebel
11-30-2007, 02:23 AM
This EXACT thing has happened to me more than once, Chrissy. In my case it was "we're sick of walking on eggshells around you" or "you treat your friends like shit". They have to make you ot to be the bad guy in some way otherwise they're just lowlifes that stole from you. They can't let that be the end of it!

And if they were being overcharged why did they AGREE to it?! The time to negotiate is before you move in, not after yo've been living there for free.

Heh. The last time this happened to me I was charging a couple $200 each a month to live in my house, all utilities included. Turns out after three free months (I'm an IDIOT. I know.) that wasn't "fair" and I was a bitch to boot.

pookie
11-30-2007, 03:16 AM
Chrissy, its time to start the battle between good and evil. Release the lawyers, theres gonna be all hell to pay!

phillyvixen
11-30-2007, 05:42 AM
I just hate this situation, I hate that it ever happened. I know they were hoping chrissy would just forget about what they owed her and thats just rude and ungrateful. They are not bad people, but this situation has turned ugly. I know they are in over their head financially and will use any excuse to not have to part with what they don't have. I'm sorry its ruined such a long standing friendship. IMO no friendship is worth 400$. I just thought of this way too late but its a shame you couldn't get them to barter somehow, like clean your house a few times or fix stuff. I know thats not an option now but it could have resolved things . Oh well. Money brings out the worst in people!

LoveSexMoney
11-30-2007, 06:41 AM
^yeah, but all her friend had to say was, "Chrissy, I am sooooo sorry but I simply cannot afford to repay you. Sorry but I just can't give you what I don't have." That would have gone a hell of lot farther than to attack her and make up excuses why they refuse to give her any more money.

I also think the husband is behind the majority of this shennanigan.

VenusGoddess
11-30-2007, 07:16 AM
Chrissy, I really think you should make good on that lawsuit. Also, if you have no other "proof" you now have that text message that PROVES what you're saying. She can't deny that. Do what the previous poster suggested and email that to yourself. I would also go one step further and take the phone with the text message, the email of the text message and go to a Notary Public and have them verify, legally, that it's all true and exact (that way, if you lose the text message, they can't say that you altered the messages any).

And then sue them. Small claims. Just smack 'em with a lawsuit. And, then you can all move past it. ;)

So sorry this happened...but I do not think it was the money as much as it is the husband. He sounds like a moocher loser and the only way he would have been happy is if you let him destroy your place and live there for free.

:hug:

Alaska
11-30-2007, 07:23 AM
And besides.....taking it to court could be FUN!! I think you have to pay $23 to file in small claims, I did once when a tow truck company completely destroyed my muffler and I had to get a new one for $400.

Jenny
11-30-2007, 07:56 AM
Being angry sometimes galvinizes it - and I admit that my indignation says to force a confrontation through legal means (although I'd still do it nicely - "Look, I really don't want to do this. We've been friends a long time, and I was willing to be flexible on the payment plan because we've been friends and I know you don't have a lot of money. But I absolutely can't allow you to steal from me because I have more money than you.")

You really want to just communicate "Look, what the fuck? You can't just take my money and then say "Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?"" On the other hand - they are part of a group of friends right? And this isn't money you need? And you might find that the stress of suing (former) friends outweighs the satisfaction when you are actually doing it. You might consider just threatening to do it, filing and then withdrawing. That way you get the satisfaction of "In your face, bitches!" while not actually having to do it.

RoseWhite
11-30-2007, 07:59 AM
^^ Agreed in total. I was so into giving them the benefit of the doubt at the beginning, when you first posted this, but no more.

LilyLove
11-30-2007, 08:05 AM
I hate that she's trying to take advantage like this. I think you should show her the full force of what consequences mean. This isn't junior high, and these aren't monopoly dollars. It doesn't matter if you NEED the money or not. Its your money, whether you're a billionaire or a beggar. You are entitled to have your own money paid back to you.

Candice
11-30-2007, 08:33 AM
I must be the only one here who thinks not taking it to court would be the better choice.

They showed their true character by not repaying a debt.

I would personally chalk it up to a lesson learned, put it behind me, and move on.

britt244
11-30-2007, 09:00 AM
^ yeah but fuck them. i wouldnt want to let them win. esp since she basically laughed and said she CAN'T take them to court since she has no proof.

you were def undercharging them since you paid half of everything. wtf? every time i read this thread i get so mad. are you going to take them to court or were you just threatening?

Emily
11-30-2007, 09:54 AM
You are not moody! Yeah, you definitely have proof and just that she brought that point up shows that she knows she's in the wrong but doesn't care because she thinks she can't lose in court. And I think you "micro-managed" because you didn't want them to be slobs, but you are definitely not a neat freak or anything.

You did them a favor by letting them stay there. You knew they were flat broke and you wanted to do something nice. You couldn't have known it would backfire, but I'm sure you acknowledged the possibility it could. You were acting as a friend, not as a landlord.

I guess it comes down to this: if you really don't care about them and want make their lives hell (because if they had the money, you know they'd pay you....so $400 is obviously a big deal for them to go to this length), then sue.

But I think their lives are already pretty fucked up enough. It was never really about the money (for you) and I think the principle is lost on them because, in their minds, you already are evil and greedy. I think you should just let it go. Lesson learned. Don't help out broke friends.

Susan Wayward
11-30-2007, 04:00 PM
I must be the only one here who thinks not taking it to court would be the better choice.

They showed their true character by not repaying a debt.

I would personally chalk it up to a lesson learned, put it behind me, and move on.

Oh, I agree with this. I wouldn't want to go to court over it, either. I would just always and forever sigh and tell this story whenever anyone asked about the former roommates.

MinahSky
11-30-2007, 04:20 PM
The friendship is over. If you're not going to take it to court, CUT THEM OFF. BOTH OF THEM. Once he does her dirty and leaves she'll be back. Just stay strong, wish her the best and CUT HER OFF AGAIN. You've seen her true colors...they won't change.

Chrissy68
12-01-2007, 03:17 PM
so, filing costs $39.50 at the small claims court.
i think that this would teach them a lesson. the thing is, their life is hellish already. he is a struggling actor and she is a retail slave. and you know what? i feel totally betrayed!

part of me wants to say, you know what, lesson learned, and karma will bite them in the ass soon enough. but the other part of me wants to go ahead and push it and say fuck it! ill be the karmic disaster that bites them (ok not karma then but lol you know) in the ass. i did the nice thing, i helped out old college friends and they fucked me over.

to think that they actually thought i'd want to remain friends with them... that's hilarious.

the worst part/most offensive slap in the face here is the fact that i intro-ed them to all of my high school friends and now none of them want to take sides (i dont blame them, but i could use some support). and now it's effin awkward.

im thinking about filing. i think i will explore it further.

Alaska
12-01-2007, 03:25 PM
I gotta say---I'd file based on how shitty they behaved towards you, and how close you all were before that. They know yr hs friends, etc.

They were not nice about it at all, and if you feel like cutting them a break because she's a retail slave and he's a struggling actor, it's the same thing as them feeling like they owe you nothing bc yr a big rich dancer.


I'd absolutely let it go (with a long letter explaining how they made me feel and why they are wrong) if they were just nice broke people. But to ignore you all this time and then straight up villify you is horrible.


I am so not a fan of mixing up emotions with money. They are doing it and so are you!! They owe you money, period. Sorry but they can come up with a payment plan.



If you filed on them, I would STILL write them that letter explaining that, if they had come to you sooner, said I'm so sorry but I just can't give you what I don't have, and were still the same people, you wouldn't have done it and would have let it go. But based on their awful behavior (and the TRUE FACT of the matter--they owe money!!) that is why you are filing---to give them a better picture of the pain this whole thing has caused you, maybe they will feel horrible and betrayed just like they made you feel. Two wrongs don't make a right, but in this case, the fact they owe you money regardless of everything overrides that.

Katrine
12-01-2007, 03:44 PM
Aaaaargh, I've been fucked over before with roomates. Never again. I'd take them to court. He's a struggling actor, but he can get a fucking temp job for the holidays to cover some of their bills. There is ALWAYS work around Xmas. But I digress.....

You own your home, its not a place you rent. As the homeowner, its your right to have the final say on how you want things done. If you don't want food upstairs because YOU would have to pay exterminator fees out of pocket, then your rule is sovereign.

It really sucks to be taken advantage of and I am likely encouraging you to take them to court out of a sense of personal revenge I would have liked to have carried out. However I'm too lazy.

Give it a shot in court. Maybe if you take them on Judge Judy, the actor husband can have some exposure and pick up some acting gigs?

DJ Maimed
12-01-2007, 03:47 PM
If I didn't like your posts and think highly of you I wouldn't bother with this anymore...le sigh... filing simply gets a court date set (they may settle or try to set up payment plan...if you truly want to give them "breathing room",this time get it in WRITING!). Now comes the real fun part...even if it goes to court and you "win", the reality is you simply have a judgement against them. This doesn't mean they "have to" pay...they can stretch this shite forever. This does mean if they shite talk you to mutual friends, etc. you are "covered". Hope it works out for you!!

pookie
12-01-2007, 04:14 PM
or garnish their wages if she wins

Jenny
12-01-2007, 04:28 PM
Well, money isn't really the issue. It's really more forcing them to confront you. I wouldn't recommend actually suing them. That would be awkward. But you can always file and then drop. They don't read this, do they?

Lena
12-01-2007, 06:22 PM
It was never really about the money (for you) and I think the principle is lost on them because, in their minds, you already are evil and greedy. I think you should just let it go. Lesson learned. Don't help out broke friends.

I agree with this, and what Susan said. Lesson learned and now you have a story. You know what happened, they know what happened, and I doubt $400 is such a big deal to you.


You did them a favor by letting them stay there. You knew they were flat broke and you wanted to do something nice.

I don't really get this. I understand that $567 is half of Chrissy's mortgage, and that there are gas and electric bills, etc., but Chrissy would be paying those amounts whether or not her friends were there. It's hardly "helping" someone get back on their feet to charge them rent/utilities that are beyond their means, even if it is just half the mortgage to you. Among my friends if you're helping someone get back on their feet they stay for free and help out around the house a lot while they save money to get their own place, or maybe they kick in $100 to cover any utilities they use. But you don't charge them half your expenses because then you wouldn't be helping them, you'd be roomates with them, and it would just take them that much longer to save enough money to get out of your house.

I'm not saying that excuses their behavior. If they agreed to pay it they should pay it and they're definitely showing their true colors by being assholes about it.

VenusGoddess
12-02-2007, 08:03 AM
^ Not necessarily. I let a friend stay with me and pay 1/2 rent. I didn't worry about utilities...until she started leaving all the lights on...taking long-ass showers (and I paid for water)...cranking the heat up and the air up...

When you are a person who is not home much, your utility bills tend to be much smaller. You have someone (or 2) move in, and there is just more energy consumption...no matter how diligent they are at turning stuff off.

If you live with someone, their utility bills will increase...if you are conscientious, it will only increase a little...if you are not (and it sounds like Chrissy's roommate weren't) those bills can increase 10-fold. So, they should have been paying part utilities, anyways!

And, I'm sorry...but a "struggling actor" who doesn't work side jobs is just a nice way of calling someone a "loser mooch".

britt244
12-02-2007, 08:48 AM
I don't really get this. I understand that $567 is half of Chrissy's mortgage, and that there are gas and electric bills, etc., but Chrissy would be paying those amounts whether or not her friends were there. It's hardly "helping" someone get back on their feet to charge them rent/utilities that are beyond their means, even if it is just half the mortgage to you. Among my friends if you're helping someone get back on their feet they stay for free and help out around the house a lot while they save money to get their own place, or maybe they kick in $100 to cover any utilities they use. But you don't charge them half your expenses because then you wouldn't be helping them, you'd be roomates with them, and it would just take them that much longer to save enough money to get out of your house.

i think it was helping them out by not making them pay right away.

MinahSky
12-02-2007, 12:18 PM
I agree with this, and what Susan said. Lesson learned and now you have a story. You know what happened, they know what happened, and I doubt $400 is such a big deal to you.



I don't really get this. I understand that $567 is half of Chrissy's mortgage, and that there are gas and electric bills, etc., but Chrissy would be paying those amounts whether or not her friends were there. It's hardly "helping" someone get back on their feet to charge them rent/utilities that are beyond their means, even if it is just half the mortgage to you. Among my friends if you're helping someone get back on their feet they stay for free and help out around the house a lot while they save money to get their own place, or maybe they kick in $100 to cover any utilities they use. But you don't charge them half your expenses because then you wouldn't be helping them, you'd be roomates with them, and it would just take them that much longer to save enough money to get out of your house.

I'm not saying that excuses their behavior. If they agreed to pay it they should pay it and they're definitely showing their true colors by being assholes about it.

I respectfully disagree. You give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat forever. They are not children, they are adults. She would have been doing them a great disservice by not making them responsible for their share. The lesson was lost on them, obviously but it would have been more so if she let them bum off of her. She wasn't paying the same with 3 people in the house as she would have alone. She didn't take 3 showers a day on her own. She wasn't cooking 9 meals a day with her gas and electric, she cooked 3. One person can onyl be in one room at a time with the lights on, but 3 people can be in 3 separate parts of the house with the lights on.

It's your kind of thinking that had them having to ask for a place to stay and KEEPS them in the one paycheck away from being broke state they are in now.

Alaska
12-02-2007, 12:28 PM
Lena as much as I like you, I kinda have to agree with what ppl posted above. Your post sounds like my ex friend who was so full of self-righteous hippie crap. It sounds accusatory to say "by charging them rent that was above their means."---uh these ppl are adults and can decide for themselves to move in there or not.



I thought her saying "helping them out" was letting them slack on the owed money for so long, and it IS helping somebody to open up your home to them for a price way cheaper than your average studio if you live the the part of the country that she does.


I don't think this thread is about how much $$ Chrissy makes and how much the rest of the world doesn't. It's unfair to expect charity of them---This situation WAS roomates afaik.


To say that the $500 isn't that big of a deal to someone who can make it in one night is besides the point. They owed money, it was a rental agreement. It's not like she told them they can use her couch and pitch in around the house and pay a sliding scale of utilites, and then went after them for a ridiculous amount of money.




She already DID justify "I make so much more than them and they are broke" by letting them take so long.


But their behavior is outrageous, and that's why I would not let it go. The friendship is already over.

Chrissy68
12-03-2007, 03:51 PM
I agree with this, and what Susan said. Lesson learned and now you have a story. You know what happened, they know what happened, and I doubt $400 is such a big deal to you.
it's not about the money.



I don't really get this. I understand that $567 is half of Chrissy's mortgage, and that there are gas and electric bills, etc., but Chrissy would be paying those amounts whether or not her friends were there. It's hardly "helping" someone get back on their feet to charge them rent/utilities that are beyond their means, even if it is just half the mortgage to you. Among my friends if you're helping someone get back on their feet they stay for free and help out around the house a lot while they save money to get their own place, or maybe they kick in $100 to cover any utilities they use. But you don't charge them half your expenses because then you wouldn't be helping them, you'd be roomates with them, and it would just take them that much longer to save enough money to get out of your house.
yeah, it was the fact that they cranked up the heat because we were splitting it (like, i had to pay out of pocket an $510 gas bill that they owed 2/3s of, but if it was just me, which it was the next month, it was $285 and some change) and they left lights on... they also used more water than just one person does. oh and they cooked, which , well, i dont really. so they used gas in cooking etc.



^ Not necessarily. I let a friend stay with me and pay 1/2 rent. I didn't worry about utilities...until she started leaving all the lights on...taking long-ass showers (and I paid for water)...cranking the heat up and the air up...

yeah. exactly.

Chrissy68
12-03-2007, 04:01 PM
so, i've had some time to think about it.

the suggestion of writing a letter while also filing is the best i think.
i want to write them a letter and state how much i considered them close friends, how i felt hurt as well as betrayed by what they did, after promising that when they got money they woudl pay me. that if they had come to me and said, 'listen, we dont have the money but we realize we owe you money and we are so very sorry.' i woudl have been ok with it. i would have siad, listen at least you owned up to that. we will figure it out. but, they didn't and then vilifying me to make themselves feel better... i mean, that's unheard of. shit, i even bought them a housewarming gift (spent like $35 on something they requested) when they moved out. and then, they treated me like this. wow.

so, i think as soon as i return i will file. it's not the money, it's the principle.

*le sigh*

in good news, even though PDX has been rainy rainy it has been fun! i've pretty much forgotten my woes. hehe.

oh and Katrine: LOL @ judge judy getting him some work!

Emily
12-03-2007, 05:02 PM
so, i think as soon as i return i will file. it's not the money, it's the principle.

Right, but I don't see how suing them is going to make a difference.

What are you going to accomplish if you sue them?

They will still be broke. Still have a hard time paying bills. Still know they were in the wrong. Still think you are an evil, greedy bitch from hell (even moreso.)

The only difference is that you'll have official proof that they owe $400 and their lives will be even worse. They will be humiliated even more. it's not like they have the money and are refusing to pay. They know they are in the wrong otherwise they would have owned up to it, like you said.

I jsut can't see any good coming out of suing.

MinahSky
12-03-2007, 06:07 PM
Let's see how cute it is once they don't show up for court and she gets a judgment for the $500 and can garnish their wages. If they do show she will still win and they will still have a judgment against them.

I doubt this is the first time they have done this to someone, but if she files, it just might be the last.

I changed my mind. FILE.

Emily
12-03-2007, 06:56 PM
Yeah there's that too.

Maybe they see this debt as a lower priority than others so they don't care because they don't see it coming back to hurt them. But it doesn't mean they won't do it again to someone else!

Katrine
12-03-2007, 07:29 PM
^ Not necessarily. I let a friend stay with me and pay 1/2 rent. I didn't worry about utilities...until she started leaving all the lights on...taking long-ass showers (and I paid for water)...cranking the heat up and the air up....

Same shit happened to me! And it wasn't even my friends. It was my roomates brother, his girlfriend, and her sister. Even though I only had to pay 1/3 of the utilities while they lived there, those spoiled brats CRANKED everything they could, used my washer/dryers, and cooked every day. They also used my bathtub when they wanted to, even though I had to be up early for work. They were stoner students that hardly ever did shit. That arrangement almost destroyed one of the longest friendships I've ever had. To this day we are no longer very close.

They knew the deal. They didn't respect the home they lived in. Alone, my utility bill is no more than $130. With roomates it was well over $500 every month. What heat costs in the winter up north, air cond. costs for summer down south.

VenusGoddess
12-03-2007, 08:32 PM
"State law does not allow wage garnishment for creditor debt. It does allow garnishment for child support, spousal maintenance (alimony), federal and/or state taxes; and in some instances judgments pertaining to personal injury and/or property damage."

From http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_wages_be_garnished_in_Pennsylvania

So, you'll have to decide if you really want to file suit. I think you should...but, obviously, it doesn't guarantee you the money. Of course, it may scare them enough to start paying something.