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twisterinAZ
10-16-2007, 10:50 PM
Sorry about that last part girls. I just had a little spat with my "friend" over this very subject and he lurks here.

jasmine
10-17-2007, 06:20 AM
On the shoes thing. We tend to grow outta that shit after a couple of really painful stubbed toes. Haven't had shoes in the floor for years now. I started tossing them in the closet after a while. No tripping and no suprising office work friends who drop by unexpectedly.

And stripper time??? Pleeaasse! I took even longer to get ready back in high school and never had a thought about dancing. You either take care of yourself or you don't... Nothing to do with profession.

Leaving the house looking like shit... Noooo Never! However I do own a large selection of calf length skirts, tailored pants and sweaters and other very feminine, but in no way revealing clothing. It's very conservative while still being girly. I get to look attractive for my husband and not get hit on by every creep walking by (just half of them)...

Speaking of which... What is WRONG with men... If I've got my two kids with me, looking in no way revealing, wearing a 3 carat wedding set you can't miss, I DON'T want your number! (No, really, get the hell away from me...!!! NOW!!!)

Sorry for the rant. I had to go shopping for kids clothes yesterday. Apparently the creeps are breeding unchecked here. They are even in childrens clothing stores....

***If anybody has any objections to anything said here I will be out of town for the next several days so will be unable to respond to any bitching until the weekend.***

Jasmine

Darcy Foxx
10-17-2007, 06:35 AM
You know what bugs me? Guys who message me on MySpace asking how my weekend was or blah blah blah, and finish with, "Don't worry, I'm not trying to pick you up, I dated a stripper once before... it was a crazy ride, but never again!"

WTF.

So you dated a stripper once, so therefore you'd never date one again?! Not that I want them to try to pick me up, but that's such a fucking retarded generalization. Cos you just KNOW all us strippers are EXACTLY the same and dating one of us is just like dating another. Every relationship that any person has with any stripper will be identical to every other relationship had between a stripper and a non-stripper on this planet. It's also that mentality of, "Well, I've already dated a stripper so I've ticked that one off on the 'Certified Asshole Street Cred List', so no need to worry about me trying to pick you up!" Argh, it infuriates me!

Why would I never want to date someone who wants to 'date a stripper'? Because you don't want to date me because I'm an intelligent, funny, caring person with similar interests. You want to date me solely because of the job I perform. Most likely because you think I'm a horny bitch who loves threesomes and anal.

Budai
10-17-2007, 06:38 AM
...Actually, Darcy, I'd want to date you because you're the next Zoo Girl Of The Year ;)

RoseLeigh
10-17-2007, 06:40 AM
^^So we aren't going to have threesomes (w/ anal?)? Damnit Darcy, stop ruining my late night tv-fueled stripper fantasies!

jasmine
10-17-2007, 06:46 AM
You know what bugs me? Guys who message me on MySpace asking how my weekend was or blah blah blah, and finish with, "Don't worry, I'm not trying to pick you up, I dated a stripper once before... it was a crazy ride, but never again!"

WTF.

So you dated a stripper once, so therefore you'd never date one again?! Not that I want them to try to pick me up, but that's such a fucking retarded generalization. Cos you just KNOW all us strippers are EXACTLY the same and dating one of us is just like dating another. Every relationship that any person has with any stripper will be identical to every other relationship had between a stripper and a non-stripper on this planet. It's also that mentality of, "Well, I've already dated a stripper so I've ticked that one off on the 'Certified Asshole Street Cred List', so no need to worry about me trying to pick you up!" Argh, it infuriates me!

Why would I never want to date someone who wants to 'date a stripper'? Because you don't want to date me because I'm an intelligent, funny, caring person with similar interests. You want to date me solely because of the job I perform. Most likely because you think I'm a horny bitch who loves threesomes and anal.

Exactly! They don't even want to know who we are, or anything about us! It's all about impressing their stupid friends or some really nasty sex they believe they are guaranteed because we are all such freaky whores.

And they are dumb enough to think that line about already dating a stripper is gonna work. Yeah, I'm sure I'm JUST like her. ::) Hell, we all are.... What do they expect for a response "BTW, would you like me to screw your brains out now.... You know, since you've already 'dated a stipper' and therefore recieved the key to the magical land of OZ"

Darcy Foxx
10-17-2007, 06:48 AM
It just pisses me off cos you never hear guys going, "Dude, I dated a chick who worked at K-Mart once... nice girl, but a total head case. Never again!"

StuartL
10-17-2007, 06:56 AM
^^^ Maybe they just want to date you because your skin looks like porcelain, but don't want to say that out loud?

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 07:06 AM
I don't see why hon, I don't think I'm saying anything negative about strippers or women.

:(

no not at all you just referred to a stripper whom you dated for 18 months as "one". Sounds like you didn't even view her as a person ::)

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 07:14 AM
I didn't even want to click on this thread because he topic pisses me off to no end.

The reason why there is a problem with it is:

- it is stupid to want to date a person based on their chosen profession
- it is mostly done for bragging rights or because of some misguided notion that as Darcy said we will all be crazy in bed etc or as ShOt said because we know other strippers so if you date one of us by that theory you might end up dating all of us PFFTT yeah right

- how many stupid seminars and articles have been written on how to pick up a stripper? why not, to use Darcy's example write an article on how to pick up a Kmart chick? why, because of stupid generalisations about strippers

- one of the main reasons why it pisses strippers off is because of LOSERS who come into the club and waste our time, not spending on dances but trying to get our phone numbers etc

although on the flip side to all of this a lot of my income is reliant on these type of customers (not the non-spending ones of course) who actually think I like them and keep giving me the $$$$$ in the hope of picking me up. I can't hate those ones too much ;D

Djoser
10-17-2007, 07:48 AM
Waitresses, Retail Clerks and lawyers ARE NOT IN THE SEX INDUSTRY!! It's not the same thing, hello!?! We, strippers are!! What the fuck?? Would you show up on location and ask a porn star if she'd like to have a nice night of dancing and a movie with you and perhaps be your girlfriend?

Exactly...

Very few men can handle dating a stripper, especially when it starts to get serious.

I never had the slightest trouble dating dancers casually, but then when it gets serious, you have to deal with things other guys never have to deal with.

This is especially true if the guys find out what goes on in serious grinding lapdances, etc. It's the antithesis of the romantic ideal. 99.9% of men simply cannot bear to think of the woman they love spending that much time and effort on other men's crotches--their dicks, in fact.

I myself have had trouble in the past with this. It's all fine and good to figure out it's just a job, they compartmentalize it, etc., but it can still be hard to deal with. I've even watched a couple of them give guys dances, it was the way the club was set up. Sometimes I thought it was funny, sometimes I had to leave.

One time, long after I thought I had a pretty good grip on the situation, the woman I was living with came home and described using her leg--her knee I think it was--to rub the dick of the PL RIL guy she had bugging her at the time, while scoping out over the rail for new customers (the VIP was on a balcony).

It bothered me. I thought to myself, and I think I even asked her, if it was really vitally necessary to maintain constant stimulation to the guys boner? It just seemed like a bit much to me. It still does. But it's their job. I got over it, lol...

That's one thing, and more than enough to rule out most guys being able to handle it.



But then you also have the constant, non-stop barrage of attempts by other men to lure the dancer into a dating situation, getting her outside the club, bragging about how cool he is, how many cars he has, his mansions, etc. They don't have to buy dances, they are just dedicating themselves entirely to their goal (stated or not) of getting the woman you think of as 'your' girlfriend or 'your' wife, to forget all about you, for however long they have in mind.

If she tells the guy about you, he'll be cutting you down, trust me--been there. It could be subtle, it could be bold and direct. I had them telling one that no fucking way was I staying loyal to her 1200 miles away, I had to be banging the dancers I worked with, I'm a guy, how could I not? He nearly had her convinced. He was in the military, he knew. She was genuinely upset, and she was ordinarily pretty good at ignoring their bullshit.



Then you know that sometimes they are going to dance for a man that they find appealing. Or just sit and listen to him being smooth as silk with her, which she might find appealing, and her--doing her job, mind you--continuously egging him on. It's rare, especially in some clubs, but it's gonna happen eventually. You better be ready to deal with it. I confess I have not always dealt with it as well as I would like to have.


And what if you have a big fight, and she goes off to work? Listening to guys blather on all night about how her boyfriend is an asshole anyway, lol. What if she thinks so too, that night? Haha!


Well, whatever, I don't think BigDaddy meant this in anything like the way the idiots do when they ask questions that sound dumb. He's cool, he's just genuinely curious.

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 08:12 AM
^^^
wow you summed it up so well, im not surprised given your experience in the industry but i hope my bf never comes across this post ;D

I once had a very seasoned stripper tell me (actually she had been in the biz and other adult related industries for 17 years and she was stunning for her age) never to doubt that one night you could do the wrong thing. She said it has happened to her even tho she is married and still she got a bit carried away and turned on.

It is absolutely difficult for boyfriends/husbands to deal with our job. That is completely separate and different than guys who hunt dancers for sport and bragging rights.

Sh0t
10-17-2007, 08:34 AM
A lot of the above goes for dating any really hot woman, though. Most hot chicks get hit on ALL the time, have tons of orbiter-guys around telling them how much of an asshole their boyfriend is, how they could treat her better, bla bla bla. Cuddle bitches and the like are ubiquitous, not just unique to dancers.

Even not so really hot chicks, get it too. If you are the one decent looking chick surrounded by computer nerds at a company, they get the same thing. I see it at work every day.

Different toilet, the same shit.

The physical side of it is worse, but typically guys who don't fret over the issue of their girl just being flirty with other dudes is usually understanding on that issue, too.

Most of the dudes in the SCs dont have a chance anyway. But if you want to really experience it, try and date a promo model. The guys in a lot of the clubs and what-not are cool dudes, who have real legitimate chances of interesting your girl. I've never seen the same thing in strip clubs really.

If your girl is hot, and you have a fight, she doesnt have to be a stripper to encounter TONS of dudes(all those male "friends" just waiting for this opportunity) who want to make her feel better. In fact, I think the stripper probably has it worse because of what I said above. Most of the dudes in the SCs are not gonna be that attractive to begin with.

So again, I have to disagree with Roulette and Djoser's co-sign.

The retail clerk and lawyer probably encounter a lot more cool guys in their day-to-day work life than the stripper does. The pornstar at least encounters male pornstars pretty regularly and directors and whatever, probably better choices than the average strip club customer. How about a retail clerk at a high end department store? You think she doesn't get hit on 20 times a day by guys buying stuff in the store? A good chunk will be cool dudes, probably with dough.


no not at all you just referred to a stripper whom you dated for 18 months as "one". Sounds like you didn't even view her as a person
Maybe not, but I married her, so maybe I did. I still love her, she wanted kids and I have a vasectomy so oh well.

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 08:40 AM
Maybe not, but I married her, so maybe I did. I still love her, she wanted kids and I have a vasectomy so oh well.

that's very ineresting, didn't u discuss children before getting married?
I might be wrong here but can't a vasectomy be reversed?

Sh0t
10-17-2007, 08:53 AM
Mine can.

We did discuss kids. She adamantly did NOT want them and even told me she thought she couldn't have kids because of complication from an abortion.

One day, she changed and that was all she talked about. So, knowing that I wasn't ready for kids and that our goals were now incompatible, I gave her my blessing to try and find the life she longed for, as a mommy.

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 08:55 AM
^^^
that's sad. I can imagine being in that situation myself because I dont know whether or not I ever want kids. (I just accidentally typed sex instead of kids /:O )

sorry for the threadjack

Djoser
10-17-2007, 09:20 AM
A lot of the above goes for dating any really hot woman, though. Most hot chicks get hit on ALL the time, have tons of orbiter-guys around telling them how much of an asshole their boyfriend is, how they could treat her better, bla bla bla.

Trust me, work in a club a few years, you'll see there is a big difference.

Especially where there is grinding going on. Most 'hot chicks' with boyfriends are NOT getting hit on while they are rubbing the guys' dicks.

Even without that, they are not getting paid to do everything in their power to lead the guys on and encourage them to keep on with the 'hitting on'.

My mom was a fashion model in Detroit who used to do auto shows (they were big before Detroit went the Rust Belt route). She had all kinds of rich motherfuckers hitting on her, got to do promo work with studly Russian astronauts, etc. Still a totally different ballgame.

I've had beautiful girlfriends getting hit on at work in all kinds of jobs, by my 'friends', by guys at school, guys at the store. They weren't wearing g-strings, shaking their ass 6 inches from the guys' faces, sitting in the guys laps, whispering in their ear, or any of that stuff, either. Different ballgame...

Jenny
10-17-2007, 09:39 AM
Ok I'm not tring to pick up a stripper, like I said before I have a lot of time on my hands and I think about a million things a day and this is one of them.

Everywhere on here everyone talks about dating a stripper and how guys should not try to pick them up. But most of you have bf's so help me understand why it's a bad thing to try to date a stipper. Or tring to date one.
1) the premise here is not that one should never try to pick up a stripper. It is that one should not:
a) try to pick a stripper while she is at work (as a stripper)
b) pick up/date a stripper qua stripper - that is, because she is a stripper.

The rationale for these is different. 1a) One should not do this because i) you are pretty much (although not completely) destined to fail; ii) you are wasting her work time; iii) you are irritating. 1b) i) nobody like to be valued as an object by the person they are dating unless they are dating for money. We are human beings, not stripperbots; ii) whatever qualities you imagine are inveterate to strippers that make them such a commodity, you are probably wrong. Again - human beings, not stripperbots.

Andygirl
10-17-2007, 09:47 AM
Especially where there is grinding going on. Most 'hot chicks' with boyfriends are NOT getting hit on while they are rubbing the guys' dicks.



I know you work in a really high contact environment, but it really isn't like that everywhere. I wouldn't characterize what I do as rubbing on guys' dicks. I can give a good dance without being all over it, and so can a lot of other girls.

All Good Things
10-17-2007, 09:52 AM
On the shoes thing. We tend to grow outta that shit after a couple of really painful stubbed toes. Haven't had shoes in the floor for years now. I started tossing them in the closet after a while. No tripping and no suprising office work friends who drop by unexpectedly.

And stripper time??? Pleeaasse! I took even longer to get ready back in high school and never had a thought about dancing. You either take care of yourself or you don't... Nothing to do with profession.

Jasmine, I hope you know we were just teasing you. At least I was! Please don't take these kinds of comments too seriously. This thread needed to be lightened up considerably, and what better way than to mock the whole generalization thing by doing it ourselves with a lighter subject.

If that didn't come across, then I need to be more careful about the way I am writing. Maybe I'll use multiple smilies next time, too. :)

Djoser
10-17-2007, 10:06 AM
I know you work in a really high contact environment, but it really isn't like that everywhere. I wouldn't characterize what I do as rubbing on guys' dicks. I can give a good dance without being all over it, and so can a lot of other girls.

Oh I know that--in fact where I work now there is no grinding allowed whatsoever, except very light stuff, only in the Champagne Room.

And what a difference from my last club! It is much harder on women in the higher-contact clubs, from what I have seen, especially if they are having to dance with blowjobs going on a couple feet away, lol.

If I ever have a club, there will be no grinding allowed, period.


But the dancers still get hit on in a different, more persistent, and more irritating way than they would selling men's ties.

I still hear the same complaints about guys being assholes, trying to date them, asking if they will get fucked in the CR if they go up there.

You walk into a stripclub, and the women who work there (the reason presumably, you are there) are being presented as sexual beings. They are erotic, enticing, the stuff of fantasy. Everything about the club is set up to encourage the customer in his natural response to this stimulation.

Sh0t
10-17-2007, 10:09 AM
@ AndyGirl and Djoser

I'm here in San Diego, where the contact is not that heavy. And I don't need to work there to have an understanding of what goes on. I know what goes on. I heard about it, seen it first hand more than enough times, whatever. It's not like a big secret.

There is no big difference. Barely a small one. Not from the POV of a guy dating one type or the other.

And I wasn't kidding about the shoe thing at all.

As far as dancer time goes, a lot of women take long to get ready. I'm fine with that if that means she'll be looking hot when we're out. What's the big rush?

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 08:16 PM
I leave my heels in my locker at work.
That is all.

jaizaine
10-17-2007, 08:18 PM
And I don't need to work there to have an understanding of what goes on. I know what goes on.



Yes you do need to. Im not going to get into an argument over it here but I disagree and I do believe that you have to work there to really know.

ViolaStrings
10-21-2007, 09:52 AM
It just pisses me off cos you never hear guys going, "Dude, I dated a chick who worked at K-Mart once... nice girl, but a total head case. Never again!"

I know, right? I was so pissed when I was watching Rock of Love and he kept talking about how he wrote that rose-thorn song about a stripper who broke his heart, then kept comparing the stripper on the show to her - two different people, around 20 years apart! He seriously thought dating one stripper was equivalent to dating another.

Sh0t
10-21-2007, 12:36 PM
Other kinds of women get stereotyped, too. Strippers are just one of the more prevalent ones.

A few others are models, bored housewives, nurses, teachers, female cops.


Yes you do need to. Im not going to get into an argument over it here but I disagree and I do believe that you have to work there to really know.
Talked about this with a bunch of them between that post and now. For being a guy trying to date them, I do not. If I wanted to succeed as a worker in a strip club, I would, but I don't need to have that much experience just to successful date them.

I mean once you understand that they get all kinds of crazy overs, I don't need to see 100 different varieties of it to understand it happens. I'm not writing a book, just trying to find love.