View Full Version : Not sure how to talk to boyfriend about stripping
Katrine
11-06-2007, 08:58 PM
but the problem is convincing my boyfriend (of 3 1/2 years) to be alright with it. I have a long list of pros (including ones that will benefit our relationship)?
1. What about stripping would actually benefit a relationship?
2. How old are you?
3. How much time have you spent in a stripclub?
4. Are you aware of how many places in this country actually offer a decent living wage for a non-contact stripper?
LexxusLovely
11-06-2007, 11:54 PM
1. What about stripping would actually benefit a relationship?
2. How old are you?
3. How much time have you spent in a stripclub?
4. Are you aware of how many places in this country actually offer a decent living wage for a non-contact stripper?
For the benefiting our relationship thing, I'm a very flirty person by nature, and I really enjoy showing off. But being flirty in public is not the appropriate place to be doing that. I need a way to give my pent-up need to be showy a way to vent. My boyfriend is not that sexual of a guy, so he doesn't give me a lot to work with most of the time. And, a lot of our problems come from money issues.
I'm 18, and no, I haven't spent much time in a strip club. I don't want to just dive right in, just get my feet a little wet first.
And as for the low-contact thing, I know that I'm not exactly going to be making bank. That's also why my bf and I live together. It's much cheaper. This is more about something that I want to try, rather than about getting money.
miabella
11-07-2007, 12:19 AM
please don't strip if you have no plans to make moneys at it. you can buy a 20 dollar carmen electra video and 'strip for your man' if you want to 'get your feet wet' stripteasing. no need to deal with actual customers you can't even be bothered to ask for money from.
LexxusLovely
11-07-2007, 12:24 AM
^^^ I think that came out wrong. What I meant was I'm not expecting to be filthy rich, but I do believe this is good money, and it would go nicely with studying at a university, rather than cheap-o junior college that I'm attending now. I really wish I could afford a university.
anneholl
11-07-2007, 12:28 AM
You mention a lot of your problems arising from money issues. This seems to be very common in a relationship, especially with the sharing of finances that comes along with co habitating.
I really hope that you are not going to end up taking on more than your share of the bills simply because you are making quick cash as a stripper. Just remember how hard you work for your money and don't let this guy think that the only way to 'appease" his disgust for your career choice, is by paying more of the bills.Please don't take offense... I would just hate to see you "pay" your guy into being ok with all this.
Why should he reap the monetary benefit of your job which he hates the idea of?
By the way, I really think you should go for it!! It sounds like you have a real passion for dancing. I wish you the very best. I'm sure that in no time at all you will be raking it in!!
LexxusLovely
11-07-2007, 12:43 AM
^^ Thank you <3 You're so sweet~
And I'll keep that in mind. I plan to save my money, but we all do dumb things. I appreciate the advice.
miabella
11-07-2007, 01:30 AM
you can learn just as much doing the basics at a cheap school and then get into an upmarket university on academic scholarship after two years.
there, you don't need to strip at all! no money worries!
if you think stripping is the only or even the best way to get money you 'need', you REALLY shouldn't do it, especially not at 18. because you already have a glamorised, distorted perspective.
you've been dating the same guy since you were 14. you've dreamt of stripping since age 10 and you think you can make money easily without contact.
you shouldn't go anywhere near a strip bar until age 21 at the earliest. there's already too many clubs full of starry eyed 18 year olds who don't want to even consider other work because 'i can always strip, and i swear those bad old men will never ever touch my precious skin, really!'
and i bet you'll never get too tipsy, or meet a customer (male OR female) who turns you on so much you exceed your normal boundaries, or have one too many low-earning nights and decide to break your rules just to go home with some cash in hand, or put up with some guy insulting you because he's already blown 1500 in two hours and are you ever going to have a night like that again? and i bet you'll never have a horrible night where some customer totally violated you in a direct and intimate way but you lie to your bf and just let it metastasize like the tumor it can become.
read the threads here about six days straight of no money or owing the club money, or having to hit customers or even club staff trying to assault you, or of having money stolen while you're doing a dance, or of having to work at a dozen clubs before you find one you make any consistent money at. or of not getting hired at good-earning clubs, or of getting hired and simply not being able to earn enough to justify the tipouts if they are high.
read all that stuff, the 'icky parts'.
and read some stripper memoirs. i have a long list, or you can find excerpts on amazon.
i wish stripping was banned for anyone under 21 (25 ideally). a girl can dream, anyhow.
sun child
11-07-2007, 06:54 AM
Yeah again, I will reiterate, if you are in the "bay area" your only non-contact option stripping option is the peeps, and they are not worth it. $15 an hour for stripping aint shit.
CollegeCutie21
11-07-2007, 07:09 AM
I DEFINITELY agree with all the girls who say that stripping can be very icky at times. Yes, it is good money, but it has it's pitfalls and can be so VERY frustrating at time.
I do understand always wanting to do it though. When I was in high school I asked my mom what she thought about strippers. She said it was fine, it's an honest living. But then when I became one, she was very upset and I had to remind her of that conversation.
You will be judged, harrased, and sometimes just down-right spit on (figuratively), but if you enjoy the pros of the job, it's easier to deal with the cons.
If your bf doesn't agree, and you've been interested for this long, you might want to question what's more important to you. Like what the other girls have said, a life long dream or a temporary boyfriend?
There are always more fish in the sea honey.
RoseLeigh
11-07-2007, 04:11 PM
I don't want to get too off topic, and maybe this should be a different thread all together, but does anyone here notice a pattern of those of us who are into more open relationship styles seem to be pretty cut and dry on this subject?
While others who (I'm only going by what I have read here) seem to be in a more monogamous/exclusive relationship style express more sympathy on the side of "He doesn't know better, give him a chance.".
I'm not saying it's bad either way at all, I just thought it was interesting.
And I'm wondering if it's because of a difference of view on the subject of jealousy and control?
Eeeek! I'm not even stoned I swear, and I don't think I'm getting this out quite right, but it was something that popped into my head.
K. all done now. :blush:
I'm in a monogamous thing and I HATE the controlling stuff! Of any sort. Maybe it's because I'm a spinster at heart?
I would love if women would pay him to lap dance for them though.
dangerousdiva
11-07-2007, 04:12 PM
Yeah again, I will reiterate, if you are in the "bay area" your only non-contact option stripping option is the peeps, and they are not worth it. $15 an hour for stripping aint shit.
That's not necessarily true. Maybe in San Francisco but not in the South Bay.
I worked in Sunnyvale from 1999-2003, dancing strictly no contact air dance only. The money was phenomenal but this was during the tech boom and has since declined. Dances are $40 or $60, fully nude, no alcohol, pretty good stage money and more of a talking hustle.
The money isn't what it used to be but I still have friends in the area and they do alright. Might be a good place to start if you don't mind getting nude. They do want you to be in good shape, however.
This was at the Kit Kat Club, they also have a "sister" club called The Candid Club that has alcohol. The Kit Kat was always better money from what I remember.
http://www.thekitkatclub.com
LexxusLovely
11-07-2007, 04:24 PM
^^ I am seriously thinking about kit kat, thanks for the reccomendation. My bf said he'd be okay with bikini for now, and could possibly be alright with nude later on. So I was thinking of starting at AJ's or the brass rail just to start off.
cutey5032
11-08-2007, 11:39 AM
Like it or not, customers will touch you, no matter where you work. They will call you a whore and will insult you in ways that you never thought possible. I see at least one girl crying in the dressing room every night.
.
OMG what the fuck?? Every night?! shitty ass people!!
miabella
11-08-2007, 07:49 PM
^^ I am seriously thinking about kit kat, thanks for the reccomendation. My bf said he'd be okay with bikini for now, and could possibly be alright with nude later on. So I was thinking of starting at AJ's or the brass rail just to start off.
this is why i'm so against under 21's stripping.
he's not dealing with the men for the money with a bikini or thong or nothing at all on. YOU ARE.
say you don't make money in a bikini club. what's to say he won't suggest you take a little more off and see if you make money then? in which case you will be faced with contact dancing topless or nude to make money.
or say you do make money in a bikini club, and he suggests, 'supportively', that you take more off to make even more money. but you're not comfortable. what then?
or say you are comfortable working topless or nude, and contact is ok for you. how cheery will he be then?
if you are already presuming stripping environments for yourself based on HIS presumed comfort level, you are already set up for difficulty making money at all, or without causing yourself mental/physical risk.
you should try to find other ways to pay for school (like transferring to a 4 year from community college), and then when you are over 21, maybe then you can try stripping for 'good money'.
i mean, this is just absurd. it's not a progression in the first place. you don't have to 'end up' working nude at all, or 'start out' working bikini for that matter.