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TheSexKitten
11-21-2007, 10:04 AM
I wipe standing up... wtf?

Taylorlila
11-21-2007, 10:11 AM
I wipe standing up... wtf?
I sometimes do this.

Last night I fantasized about my big, built ex thats in the army right now while I was having sex with my bf :O .

...it got me off too.

Taylorlila
11-21-2007, 10:22 AM
My coffee maker has a creature groing in the filter...because I forgot i used it, thus forgot to clean it...now I'm scared.

zxcire
11-21-2007, 10:33 AM
There are a bunch of cinnamon jelly bellys under and beside my bed because I buy bags of jelly bellys and eat them in bed. When I come to the red ones, I take a tiny bite to see if it's apple, raspberry, or cinnamon, and if it is cinnamon I drop it on the floor next to my bed. I hate cinnamon. My cats play with them and bat them under the bed. I'm too lazy to put them in the trash...so they are floor jelly beans.

TigersMilk
11-21-2007, 10:36 AM
I pee in the shower and pee in other peoples showers.
I fantasize about being a serial killer.
I buy sex toys and never use them.
I often talk to myself and have entire conversations.
If after going #2 and I feel dirty I'll wash my butt in the shower real quick. I wanna bidet for Christmas.

TheSexKitten
11-21-2007, 11:12 AM
I often talk to myself and have entire conversations.


LOL!!! Me too. I have fake interviews where I have different accents, occupations, etc. Must be my Geminiety.

stellaforstars
11-21-2007, 11:13 AM
^^I have to rehearse conversations with myself before I can have them with others.

Sooo glad to know I'm not alone in this!

britt244
11-21-2007, 11:14 AM
^i dont rehearse them really but i say them the way i want them to go lol

TheSexKitten
11-21-2007, 11:19 AM
I actually had an imaginary friend. Her name was Casey and she had white-blond hair and glasses.

Fawn
11-21-2007, 12:10 PM
If after going #2 and I feel dirty I'll wash my butt in the shower real quick. I wanna bidet for Christmas.

I do both this and the serial killer thoughts. I never feel clean if I don't wash after I poo. So, I always wash my butt afterwards. I nearly spelled clean with a K but then I remembered. I think I'm in the first stages of alzthimers because I've been putting milk in the cabnits, my keys in drawers, and forgettign how to spell the simplest words. Maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep.

Picaresque
11-21-2007, 08:34 PM
I share my food with cats. Right now I don't have any of my own, but my boyfriend has the most cuddly adorable calico ever...and I let her hop up onto the kitchen table and eat little bites of food off my plate. Or lap up milk from my cereal bowl.Dining with felines is the way to go. ;D

oh, and I had a few imaginary friends when I was younger...they were members of a tribe of gypsies. :yes: I had a huge fascination with gypsies. Still do, actually.

TigersMilk
11-21-2007, 09:08 PM
I do both this and the serial killer thoughts. I never feel clean if I don't wash after I poo. So, I always wash my butt afterwards.

Its good not be alone.

Casey4Now
11-21-2007, 10:02 PM
Ok I'll confess...I totally have a fetish for fat guys. Not in the realm of morbidly obese, just substantially chunky. :drool: I don't know why but it's such a turn on.
I figured this out about myself when I got cast in my very first opera and found myself surrounded by overweight tenors all wearing tights. :drool: I felt like a kitten in a basket full of catnip.

My husband is a chef I loooovvvve his belly. It smells like cookies (not that i am down there all the time}:D )

Casey4Now
11-21-2007, 10:05 PM
I've been waiting 29 years to hear a woman say that. :glasses:
I wouldn't trade his belly for anything, it's my favorite part it's big, it's firm, it's hard, oh yeah his belly. ( Funny my second favorite part has the exact same discription)

Casey4Now
11-21-2007, 10:30 PM
I actually had an imaginary friend. Her name was Casey and she had white-blond hair and glasses.

I already knew that!!! (discription fits) LOL

Fawn
11-21-2007, 11:06 PM
I'm afraid to epilate at my own house because we have extremely thin walls and I don't want to guess what the neighbors would think I was doing (I live in cheap college apt's with lots of hot neighbors), so I bring it to my mothers house when I come up here to work for the weekend, and before I drive back hom I'll sit on one of her good towels because they are the softest and epilate my pubic area. I then shake out the towel and throw it on the floor the garage so she'll wash it. I do feel guilty sometimes.

Picaresque
11-21-2007, 11:08 PM
Casey: that sounds HOT. woohoo, I'm not alone! 8)

Oh, and I write out little scripts when I have to make phone calls. Not to close friends or family or people I talk to all the time, but like if I have to make an appointment or need information or am calling someone I don't know...I write down what I'm going to say. Otherwise I get all jumbled and flustered and sound like a total moron on the phone. :P

teeth_of_the_hydra
11-21-2007, 11:52 PM
Hahaha, this thread was so much fun to read! Here are mine. Be nice, please... this first one is like a major, top-secret confession.

Even though I love my BF-- like, seriously love him, and think he is super, because he is-- AND have committed to being monogamous with him, I am developing a bad case of the wandering eyes doing this LDR thing. As such, I have a raging boner for this 20-year-old boy. I'm 25! I make said boy give me foot massages, because they are my favorite. And back scratches. And I make him go running with me, because it's boring to go by myself. And I make him play Scrabble, because my roommates don't like to. And I suggest that he cancel his plans to he can do all these activities on a moment's notice, so I can undress him with my eyes and imagine about how hard his cock would feel between my lips. Basically I have turned him into a sex slave, but without the sex. I cannot believe he is putting up with my demands. He's not even getting any pussy!

...Yeah, that's pretty bad, huh? Here are some more innocuous ones.

-I think my vaginal secretions taste super!

-While my cat was sleeping the other day, I tried to find his penis. I didn't succeed, and I felt dirty for even thinking about his penis. Yet, I'm still curious about it. I've never seen his penis.

-I look in other peoples' medicine cabinets and pee in their showers. I will also shamelessly use their shower products, even if I've brought my own.

-I sometimes fake orgasms with my boyfriend. It was a terrible thing to start doing, but now I think if I didn't get off he'd be really confused and probably worried. I'm too chickenshit to come clean about faking it, but sometimes I wonder... what if we get married? Will I keep faking 30% of my orgasms forever? :O

-I think I have a foot fetish. Or maybe a fetish for foot fetishists. It turns me on like crazy when people rub my feet. I don't particularly want to rub their feet, but mmmm foot massages are my favorite. Boy Slave gives good ones. Gosh, I am awful. }:D

-I really only like about 20 songs in the universe, and happily listen to them over and over and over when no one else is around. One of them is "Tragedy" by the BeeGees.

-Another one of them is this song, which I listen to about 5X/day: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyb8Le7LgYs

AlexxaHex
11-21-2007, 11:57 PM
I love having my feet massaged more than receiving oral sex.

Fawn
11-21-2007, 11:59 PM
I once met a guy at a disc golf park, invited him over to my friends house, made him order pizza and buy beer and give me a scalp, back leg and foot massage, got his number and never called him back after that.

jaizaine
11-22-2007, 12:01 AM
oh, and if a custy is being a major doshe, I'll spit on the top of their head while i'm dancing for them!

rofl hahahahahhahhahhahaha

jaizaine
11-22-2007, 12:10 AM
I ate birdseed once out of curiousity, i wouldn't recommend it.

I piss in the shower.

I used to cut the skin off the bottom of my feet when I was about 12. I used to cut it really deep and sometimes I would eat the skin :-[
I also got my cousin into it.

I found a skid mark on my g-string when I was at work LOL.

stripperMBA
11-22-2007, 12:16 AM
I am totally infatuated with a married guy from the east coast. But I really like his wife better.;D

sun child
11-22-2007, 06:42 AM
When I was in kindergarten I was in a gifted and talented program and was the only kid in it still struggling with reading. My teacher talked to me about how I was the only kid in it who couldn't read yet and I had a little kid breakdown and cried. After that I asked my mom to read me The Little Engine That Could every night. I eventually memorized what words went with what pages and I went to school and "read" the book to my teacher. Strangely right after this happened I figured out reading. This is really a metaphor for my whole fucking life.

I cheated in the 3rd grade on more than a few multiplication tests. I would write the multiples inside of my desk. I felt really sociopathic about this.

When I used to work at restaurants I would eat people's leftovers right off their plates when I was hungry. I would always hope at this one place that the people who ordered fried mushrooms would leave me one or two. Sometimes I would stuff one in my mouth before I even delivered their plate.

The thrill I get from gambling is seriously scary.

I think my brother is an asshole - just like my dad.

Kaylinn
11-22-2007, 07:40 AM
I am sitting in front my my computer reading SW and my vib is pressed firly against my clit. I'm not trying to get off, it just feels nice.
Oh, and the computer is in front of the wondow and the blinds are open.
I have no shame

Alaska
11-22-2007, 08:21 AM
^don't give me ideas like that! i been trying to "wind down" the last 8 hours since i got home from work! if i start that i'll be up forever! i probably will now! thanx! (in a sexual way)

Taylorlila
11-22-2007, 09:52 AM
I used to cut the skin off the bottom of my feet when I was about 12. I used to cut it really deep and sometimes I would eat the skin :-[
I also got my cousin into it.
.

I actually...um....did that to lol. It's kind of crazy to find out totally weird things that you once did....other people did too.





When I used to work at restaurants I would eat people's leftovers right off their plates when I was hungry. I would always hope at this one place that the people who ordered fried mushrooms would leave me one or two. Sometimes I would stuff one in my mouth before I even delivered their plate.



.

I did that at the Thai restraunt I worked at...so many delicious appetizers!

When I was a chamber maid I'd sometimes steal peoples candies...not like a whole candy bar but if they had a bag of kisses or something, I'd take a couple.

I once cut cocaine with splenda because we had a little at our house only for a very very special occassion and I was home alone and decided to do a little...which led to more, then led to me realizing my bf would never buy that that was how much was there in the 1st place. So I emptied splenda packets in the bag.

Sometimes if I didn't have tampons I'd roll up some toilet paper and use it instead.

There's prob. a years worht of gossip magazines and ten bucks at least in bottles on the floor of my car.

stellaforstars
11-22-2007, 10:41 AM
I'm sitting on my couch, in a fluffy bathrobe, watching Full House right now.

How ridiculous is that?

Katrine
11-22-2007, 05:01 PM
Confession: oh boy, this is going to be bad. I had sex with two different men yesterday, and had a date with a third (no action). I'm such a dirty, dirty whore.

AlexxaHex
11-22-2007, 05:04 PM
No, honey you're not a whore - you're just a sex addict.

Katrine
11-22-2007, 05:07 PM
No, honey you're not a whore - you're just a sex addict.

Dammit, is that one of those addictions I have to go through the 12 steps again for? :D

AlexxaHex
11-22-2007, 05:30 PM
I think you can just repeat 5 - 9 or something. Or just say a "hail Mary" backwards.

I really have no idea.

blondhottie
11-23-2007, 12:19 AM
I've done the thing other girls have mentioned where if I'm near the end of my period and I'm too lazy to buy more tampons, I either use some toilet paper or wear dark underwear.

I enjoy picking my nose.

I sometimes stick my fingers in my ears when they feel waxy, dig around, and then look at the wax.

Before I had any sex toys, I would masturbate by laying on my floor or bed and moving my crotch up and down like I was humping someone.

I hate calling people and most of the time when I call someone, I'm hoping I get their voicemail so that I can leave a message. Even with people I like. I'd much rather email or text someone than talk to them on the phone.

If I'm sick or I have nowhere I have to go, I won't shower for a few days.

I've faked being sick to get out of family gatherings I didn't want to go to.

On a couple occasions when people wanted to stop over, I'd make excuses and say I was busy because my apartment was a pigsty and I was too lazy to clean.

FrustratedBunny
11-23-2007, 12:53 AM
I don't have any sex toys because I'm scared if I die my family will find them.

I have this weird belief that if you pleasure yourself and think about a person that you will never be with that person in reality.

(God those both sound so crazy when I type them out...)

RoseLeigh
11-23-2007, 01:28 AM
Confession: oh boy, this is going to be bad. I had sex with two different men yesterday, and had a date with a third (no action). I'm such a dirty, dirty whore.

Wait-is that a bad thing to do?

sun child
11-23-2007, 02:06 AM
I wanna fuck Christopher Walken. I don't know why.

stellaforstars
11-23-2007, 07:30 AM
Lately, I can't go to sleep at night without crying. Not just weeping, but hysterical tears.

maximvsv
11-23-2007, 08:40 AM
OMG! I would flip shit.

The other day I went out dancing at a hot night club, and wore this super skanky hot outfit.

Want to know what I wore underneath it while I flirted it up with hot guys?

Winnie the pooh cotton underpants. :) It was laundry day.


That combo is dangerously sexy! }:D

I'll second SarahSynn on that. I can't say how Spongebob stuff would go over, but there was a dancer I know who wore Snoopy underwear on stage a few times.

kaiarose
11-23-2007, 08:50 AM
I've done the thing other girls have mentioned where if I'm near the end of my period and I'm too lazy to buy more tampons, I either use some toilet paper or wear dark underwear.

I enjoy picking my nose.

I sometimes stick my fingers in my ears when they feel waxy, dig around, and then look at the wax.

Before I had any sex toys, I would masturbate by laying on my floor or bed and moving my crotch up and down like I was humping someone.

I hate calling people and most of the time when I call someone, I'm hoping I get their voicemail so that I can leave a message. Even with people I like. I'd much rather email or text someone than talk to them on the phone.

If I'm sick or I have nowhere I have to go, I won't shower for a few days.

I've faked being sick to get out of family gatherings I didn't want to go to.

On a couple occasions when people wanted to stop over, I'd make excuses and say I was busy because my apartment was a pigsty and I was too lazy to clean.




I HATE talking on the phone too! I really hate it when I text someone and they call me instead of text back. I won't answer the phone even though they know I'm there(since I just texted them!)

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have NEVER farted in front of him. I've pushed a baby out of my dilated vagina in front of him but have never farted. So when he leaves for work in the morning I let out the loudest most disgusting sounding fart that I've been holding in since the night before. I'm so afraid he'll hear me if I go in the bathroom and do it, so I hold them in all night and cannot wait for him to leave in the morning so I can finally fart!!!

phillyvixen
11-23-2007, 09:21 AM
-When i first started dating my husband and i had to fart i would go in the bathroom and wad up toilet paper and hold it against my butt hole to muffle the sound. Now I just let them rip. His farts are so disgusting sounding that i laugh almost every time he lets one go.
- when i was poor in college i let some stranger fly me down to florida for the weekend and give me 500 bucks to spank me. He was the most disgusting man i have ever seen.
- Since i've been pregnant my sex drive has plummeted and i rarely have sex with my husband, but i still masturbate almost every day.
- I also love my husbands big tummy and I rub it a lot and ask how his baby is doing haha
- Since i've been pregs I will sometimes eat fast food and then destroy the evidence so no one knows, I'm very ashamed of fast food consumption.

kaiarose
11-23-2007, 09:29 AM
^^ When I was pregnant my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me. I was sooo horny! He was afraid that the baby would see his penis! I tried to explain to him that there was a wall separating the two. Nope, he still felt weird.
As for the fast food, indulge! This is like your free pass to eat whatever you want! You're pregnant, take advantage of the situation :) I know I ate everything!

Taylorlila
11-23-2007, 09:41 AM
^^ When I was pregnant my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me. I was sooo horny! He was afraid that the baby would see his penis! !
lmao. :D

teeth_of_the_hydra
11-23-2007, 01:48 PM
- Since i've been pregs I will sometimes eat fast food and then destroy the evidence so no one knows, I'm very ashamed of fast food consumption.

OMG I do the same thing. I would rather someone walk in on me drinking out of a cat dish with a butt plug sticking out of my rear than catch me eating fast food. I have major fast food shame, but I still eat it sometimes. Not too often, but often enough that it's a small-time moral dilemma.

britt244
11-23-2007, 01:49 PM
^ i get embarrassed when i order it.

stellaforstars
11-23-2007, 01:51 PM
^^I am such a health freak, but lately, I've been having horrible, horrible fast food cravings...

Kaylinn
11-23-2007, 01:54 PM
My confession for the day:

I desperatly wish I were pregnant.

Hard to believe I would be 26weeks pregnant now.

stellaforstars
11-23-2007, 02:00 PM
:hug: Hugs for Kaylinn.

ExoticEngineer
11-23-2007, 04:40 PM
I once put Nair in a woman's conditioner bottle.

She tried to hurt an animal, I felt justified.



One time I spied on my mom and dad and caught them having sex. and I stuck around just long enough to see if my dad's parts looked like my mom's.



I've masturbated thinking about having crazy dirty sex with a neighbor of mine. He has really nice eyes. :blush:

Fawn
11-23-2007, 04:52 PM
Sometimes I just think to myself if it weren't for SW I would not know about extra special body tips like cla, and no 'cone products and many more, as well as various hustling techniques, life experiences and just all around great advice. It is my secret, and I don't tell anybody about it because I like having the advantages all to myself. I am selfish in that way and I like it.

Lysondra
11-23-2007, 05:03 PM
I'm falling for a man I think is too good for me.