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NickT
12-12-2007, 12:28 PM
I've opened packages of cookies in the store and eaten a few, leaving the package on the shelf.

Sometimes if people bring in donuts or whatever to work, I throw them in the trash so I won't be tempted to eat them.

SundayMorning
12-12-2007, 02:45 PM
Those are good! I'm interested to know which one is fake...I'm guessing "giving a dollar to the cute cashier" personally. (Only time I'd tip cuties is if I know they can keep it!)

Gummi
12-12-2007, 05:27 PM
Haha these are great.

On the cartoon porn thing;

All I masturbate too pretty much is japanese anime porn. :/ Not even animations, just static images! And..and I draw it, too!

I can NOT get turned on by regular people porn. (but photos of hot girls are fine.)

People always tell me to wash off my fruit before I eat it, but if they aren't watching, I just run the faucet for the noise and then start to eat it! I just HATE wet fruit!

desavirsire
12-12-2007, 05:34 PM
Those are good! I'm interested to know which one is fake...I'm guessing "giving a dollar to the cute cashier" personally. (Only time I'd tip cuties is if I know they can keep it!)

I guess that too, because if she gave you an extray one wouldnt she have to put it back inthe register?

girlinterupted
12-12-2007, 07:09 PM
Well some more:

I love pickled pig's feet and anything else pickled

I used to eat all of my roomate's food because he talked shit on me

I've been caught by cops having sex in public twice without getting in trouble. Strangely, I can never get out of a traffic ticket.

I passed out drunk one night and woke up in the morning with a rash on my face and a pillow covered in dried cat diarrhea.

I forget not everyone gets my humor, and make offensive jokes

phillyvixen
12-12-2007, 08:20 PM
i always pee with the door open at home

RoseLeigh
12-12-2007, 10:57 PM
I have not showered in days. No. Really. I repulse myself.

bellasera
12-13-2007, 12:02 AM
I used to eat all of my roomate's food because he talked shit on me



I eat my roommates candy thats in the freezer when I want some chocolate but won't buy any.

VegasPrincess
12-13-2007, 01:33 AM
Oh, shit....Here we go! If I hadn't done all these jager shots tonite, guys, I might not be so honest... (just kidding. my dumb ass is always honest)

1. I am completely in love with a psuedo married (by that I mean common law) man that I met like seven years ago. Yeah, we fucked for six years, through all of my serious relationships and then stopped. Now, his relationship is finally over (I would like to add that they had an open relationship and that the woman in question is totally not innocent nor did I steal her man) we're going to try to make shit work! YAY!! But most people think I'm evil for this. I'm not. Oh, and I've fucked his "common law" wife a whole bunch of times too, so she knew what was up.

2. I have this weird problem where I feel like paying for a soda at a fast food resturaunt is a rip off and that Wendy's some how OWES me a soda, so I ask for a cup for water and put diet coke in it.

3. If I sleep alone, I cuddle with my dog. I have a big man size dog, and I literally cuddle with her like she was a person. Not in a creepy way. I just can't stand to sleep alone and it makes me feel better.

4. I like to make up stories to people I know I will never see again. I think it's really funny when they believe the BS.

5. I remembered while I was out tonite that I had to stop and buy toilet paper, but I was too lazy, and stole some out of the bathroom.

6. One time, I was too broke to buy face cream, so I bought some with my rent money, dumped out the cream into a tupperware at home, refilled it with vasoline and returned it saying it was "spoiled." The lady at the counter concurred that it must be spoiled, threw it out, and refunded my money.

7. When I was in middle school, I got drunk with my girl and spray painted cuss words all over her nice suburban nieghborhood.

8. When I was in highschool ,my boyfriend was in college, and he would pick me up from school after first period and we'd go fuck at motel 6 all day. Those motel 6 people must have really hated me.

9. When I get really really really anxious, I suck my thumb. I know, freaky.

10. I once let some guy (at a private party, in a private bedroom, no where near a strip club) go down on me for 300 bucks, because he was hot, he asked, and I was that horny.

Woo-hoo!!

BalletBaby
12-13-2007, 02:25 AM
I made you a cookie






































but I eated it

phillyvixen
12-13-2007, 07:57 AM
-Being pregnant makes my vag smell weird.

-I masturbate on my husbands computer chair and i've stained it with my love sauce.

-I used to take my ex gf to this adult club and take her on this stage and tie her up to a st andrews cross, then i would strip her naked and spank and whip her with my flogger from her shoulders to her ankles. She was so hot I really just enjoyed showing her off and humiliating her. Then i used to fuck her with my strap on (the same one i use on my husband) in front of tons of people for free. I liked being watched. Its no wonder i became a stripper when i got in shape.

SundayMorning
12-13-2007, 09:21 PM
My confession: we went to a high school choir concert tonight and I wanted to pick up one of the basses, take him home, and make him my sexpuppet. (The Hubby insists he was gay but maybe he's still young enough that he hasn't figured that out yet!)

PookaShell
12-14-2007, 12:07 AM
Sometimes if I want to masturbate but am not really in the mood, but try anyway and can't get off - I'll fake it so I don't hurt my own feelings or feel like I wasted the effort.

I quoted Superbad over 100 times today.

I put A1 and Worcestershire sauce or malt vinegar, or lime, or pickles - on everything. I can hardly eat food if it doesn't have any of these things or salsa on it. I? Am all about the sodium.

I've read every harry potter book over 10 times.

I won the trivia contest at the last book release party.

Kelly clarkson is my phone ringer.

I blare Reba McEntire in my car everyday.

I scream "FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the radio every time a song I hate comes on.

Everytime I see a person walking down the street and its cold or raining I want to offer them a ride, so I double back around, slow down and stare at them and then c hicken out so I dont get murdered or they don't think Im creepy and just keep going. It probably freaks people the fuck out.

I flirt with everybody. I can't help it. I just want them to think I'm pretty.

I have this weird habit of like...becoming invisible. Even if I talk - if I am with a group of people, it happens almost all the time that the entire night no one will say two words to me. It sucks. If I try to talk or tell a story or a joke or comment or antyhing I end up getting interrupted and no one notices. Its so gay.

Fawn
12-14-2007, 12:33 AM
The day of my last finals I had a total of maybe 2 hours of sleep. I was so delierious that my eyes were shaking while I was taking my last test. There's no real parking at school, and a shuttle comes by my house so I catch the shuttle to and from school. On the way home it was wet and rainy and every time some dumbass student ran in front of the bus I had to fight the urge to yell "Take him out!." It was like that movie with Leo Decaprio, I felt like I was in a video game adn we had targets. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. I'm sure the people on the bus thout I was nuts- I was just sitting there laughing to myself the whole ride home.

sun child
12-14-2007, 01:25 AM
I blare Reba McEntire in my car everyday.

You are so lovable. I sometimes feel invisible, too. Like I'll try to say something or get in the conversation and people just aren't listening, and then I feel dumb because I'm talking to myself. :-\

My confession is that I really want to go to school full-time all near year as I am planning, but I also don't just so I can travel the world and make lots of money instead. My plan is to be frugal and ascetic (and take the bus to school), but I actually just want to do whatever I want and not have a schedule.

shasta
12-14-2007, 03:42 AM
The last three songs of the nights are double priced. The are called the "fantasy dances." Anyway of course I want to dance at that time. So last night on the second to last Fantasy Dance I was dancing for a guy who was celebrating a business deal. I was like half asleep and my dance pretty much sucked. I was just sitting on his lap facing away and I felt IT. Yes, I could feel his cum on my and I could smell it. He wasn't embarrassed, he paid me. I had his cum all over my leg. I don't know how it went through his kaikis. I felt really gross and wanted to go tothe dressing room. BUT, it was the last song of the night, so I wiped his cum off on the next guy!
Gross!

PookaShell
12-17-2007, 08:32 PM
Hahaha. Thats so gross. :P ^^^^

I throw away my dishes when I dont want to wash them.

I talk to my cat more than I talk to anyone else.

I just shaved my hoohoo into a heart.

I tan with a playboy bunny sticker. :)

I finally confronted my mom today about her emotional abuse.

firekitten19
12-17-2007, 09:15 PM
I used to draw pretty decent hentai for myself when I was around 13. :D
I still draw hentai for myself.
I have a mad crush on my gay bestfriend.;D

stellaforstars
12-17-2007, 10:43 PM
I had my first orgasm this weekend.

Best confession EVER.

RoseLeigh
12-17-2007, 10:50 PM
I had my first orgasm this weekend.

Best confession EVER.:party::party::monkeedan:10:

lestat1
12-17-2007, 11:02 PM
I had my first orgasm this weekend.

Best confession EVER.

Congratulations!


*sigh* You think you were frustrated before this weekend though? Try finding a Hallmark card for: "Best Wishes on Your First Orgasm." ;D

Katrine
12-17-2007, 11:05 PM
Every time I write a confession in here, I delete it before I ever post it!! And I used to be so honest!

Congrats Stella.

Lysondra
12-17-2007, 11:16 PM
Today I have attempted to play and record the Star Wars Theme with the twitching of my boobs. The only thing that stops my success is it is much harder to record yourself from a good angle while doing it to make it the most noticeable.

SundayMorning
12-17-2007, 11:17 PM
I had my first orgasm this weekend.

Best confession EVER.

:dance: Details missy!

(Not to threadjack but any chance of you making it to Katrine and Susan's Titty Tour on the 27th? Would love to see if I could give you #2...or #82 if you find you're addicted to the damn things like the rest of us!)

I have no confession tonight. I'm perfect just the way I am! ;D

stellaforstars
12-18-2007, 12:04 AM
^^How did I miss that? What thread should I be looking for?!?!

SundayMorning
12-18-2007, 10:11 AM
^^How did I miss that? What thread should I be looking for?!?!

http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=104617

;D

phillyvixen
12-18-2007, 12:01 PM
I just ate chips and salsa and a pear for lunch. super healthy huh

Scarlett.Oz
12-18-2007, 12:29 PM
I still have some major food issues, No where near full blown ED but I think I need to watch myself, don't wanna go there again. Wow, I said it, kinda makes it real.

XS

SundayMorning
12-18-2007, 12:56 PM
I just ate chips and salsa and a pear for lunch. super healthy huh

That's not bad! Plus pear is actual fruit, so I hear. I made hash browns with green onion, ham and shredded cheddar--now THAT'S not super healthy.

My confession! I peeked at the gift that UPS just dropped off---it came from Lush! :dance: Happy Sunday, happy Sunday.

stellaforstars
12-18-2007, 02:30 PM
^^I am sooo curious about Lush. I've just discovered MAC, but I have yet to come up with the funding for the Lush-y goodness.

My Confession: I am contemplating staying in a situation that I know would make me unhappy simply because I feel too guilty about leaving. I think that makes me pathetic.

needtodance
12-18-2007, 04:06 PM
I feel so uncertain about myself and about my life right now. I keep looking and looking and the same stresses and abuses that have always been present are still there. It makes me wonder if I'm ever going to change, or if my life will ever be healthy and productive. And all of that is hidden behind this unhealthy happy face. I appear a little stressed, but nothing too bad, even to close friends, while im going completely crazy inside and am continually having the urge to get violent wiht the world.

I get turned on with dance performances, even ballet or dry modern. I ramble about all the technical aspects and lust after every one of the performers. And I hate myself for not being in their place. The movement just connects with my idea of sensuality, and i find myself pantomiming it. Maybe this is the reason I obsess about a fantasy dancer friend who would practice pas de deux and partner acrobatics with me. Because thats really the only kind of interaction i can trust. People are lame, they'll be courting you and fucking you one day, and then the next, not answering your calls or hanging out, even though they hadn't left any indications that they wanted you OUT of their life. Even friends, never have time for poor little invisible me. At least as a performer, i'm NEEDED, and people don't try to "get away". Its safe.

I can't take my eyes off my reflection in any mirror or window. My mom thinks its because I'm narcissistic and vain.... I know its because everytime i catch a second of a view that i like, I'm surprised. The rest of hte time I look, and I say "this pathetic person CANT be me." So i smile brighter and preen to excuse the gesture.

I can't stand sleepign alone. Even having my pupy with me helps a little, but not much. The majority of what i call sleep is more a deep meditation. I'm afraid of dreaming, i think. The majority of my "deep sleeps" are when I'm listening to someone elses heartbeat. I don't need a relationship, though I'd lke one... All I need is a fuck buddy who'd let me sleep next to them.

I think I define myself by my loneliness. On the occassions where i DO feel happy and wanted, i'm already bracing myself for the inevitable relapse into isolation.

Deep down, i fundamentally DO hate people. Not in a cynical way, but in a "PLEASE let nuclear warfare start already!" burning disgust.

OdysseusNJ
12-18-2007, 04:26 PM
^ Ditto, sleeping alone is such a drag. That's the worst thing about having cohabitated and then not, I think.

teeth_of_the_hydra
12-19-2007, 06:28 PM
Um....

I just sent fan mail to a Jeopardy contestant.

I did it through Facebook, because I am resourceful like that. You know how Jeopardy announces the contestants' first and last names? Yeah... that's all it took. My brain boner took over from there.

If he writes me back, I will probably come all over the place.

I'll keep y'all updated.

BalletBaby
12-19-2007, 11:58 PM
I had three big poops yesterday.

Fawn
12-20-2007, 12:33 AM
The guy I'm dating is the dumbest guy I've ever met. he actually said "I wish those forigners would learn to talk english" - in his Georgia accent. But he is so pretty and has a huge peeny. I hope I meet a smart guy that is hot and i spacking next semester. I don't know how much longer I can take a guy who syas while I'm climbing up the stairs "don't trip on them deals..." OMG DUMB

Bob_Loblaw
12-20-2007, 12:43 AM
Sometimes when I'm bored at work, I switch the coffee to decaf and wait for the results.

UtahMike
12-20-2007, 01:36 AM
But you're right about not getting off on penetration; I only cum by rubbing my clit.

So, try rubbing your clit WHILE your boyfriend is penetrating you. Or have him rub it, if he is any good at it. If he isn't, teach him. He won't mind learning, especially if you tell him it will turn you on even more.

phillyvixen
12-20-2007, 07:24 AM
When ever i see this thread i feel compelled to confess something.

Todays confession is sometimes i lick my dildo clean /:O :-[

Mastridonicus
12-20-2007, 08:13 AM
When ever i see this thread i feel compelled to confess something.

Todays confession is sometimes i lick my dildo clean /:O :-[

OH MY GOD ME TOO!

I always feel so EMBARAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEDDDDD

BalletBaby
12-20-2007, 10:22 PM
My dog pooped on a vacant lot and I didn't pick it up:-[

Excuses:
1. It was dark
2. It wasn't completely solid
3. Free fertilizer

PuertoRicanPinup
12-20-2007, 10:49 PM
When ever i see this thread i feel compelled to confess something.

Todays confession is sometimes i lick my dildo clean /:O :-[

OMG that's hot!

paintgoddess
12-21-2007, 12:36 AM
I hate sex with my boyfriend so much that I claw the mattress sometimes. I'm over it.

phillyvixen
12-21-2007, 08:44 AM
^^ That sucks!

SuburbanSocialite
12-21-2007, 05:40 PM
I am currently trapped at a crowded shopping mall with my sister. My feet hurt and all I want to do is sit down, have a drink, and a nap.

Christmas is Tuesday and I still haven't bought my family anything.

I have a strong urge to go into a dressing room and masterbate just because I think it'll put me in a better mood. Oh, that and a bowl.

aussiebelle
02-11-2008, 08:14 PM
Just had to bring this thread back...
:)

I being extra lazy today and am still in my pajamas and it's past 2:00 p.m and have just been s'webbing and watching daytime T.V all day.

(Oh and has anybody heard from PookaShell? I haven't seen her on here in ages :( )

All Good Things
02-11-2008, 08:39 PM
^ She's fine. She's had some recent drama in her life, but things are also looking up for her. I'll tell her she is missed around here and should log on and give you an update!

phillyvixen
02-11-2008, 08:42 PM
i love this thread!

aussiebelle
02-11-2008, 08:43 PM
^ Good to hear she is fine :)
Definitely let her know she's missed around here.

aussiebelle
02-11-2008, 08:44 PM
i love this thread!

me too!

PookaShell
02-11-2008, 10:23 PM
TOO just texted me. :) Here I am! The exact location of my shell when ya'll were wondering where it was was in a bubble bath! I've missed you guys too!!!! TOO was right about the recent drama - its been a STRESSFUL past few weeks, but I'm here and alive and loving my sw-ers and this thread and the fact that TOO indeed did text me and tell me I was missed and should log on. So here's me perusing sw in my jammies sipping a sprite and playing with my kitty. (And Gabby too ;))