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Kaylinn
11-21-2007, 05:36 PM
^ Yeah..I can't say i was abused, or that things were violent..I didn't get hit often, maybe hmm...few times a month? But when I did it was totally out of anger and impulsive. And my mother was nuts.
My dad hit us cause that was how he was raised. My mother hit me a lot less often, but when she did it was cause she had lost her temper and was just out on control.
a good example:
She used to let me take her car when i was 15, before I had a lisence to drive. No restrictions at all. Well, I went to my boyfriends house one night and discovered my bf smoking pot with his mother. I was very pissed, as I did not do drugs, and was shocked that he and his mom smoked together. So I left in a rage, and when i backed out of his driveway, I backed into his car. His car was undamaged, my mom's car had a busted taillight.
My boyfriend called my mom and told on me.

When I got home she was waiting for me in the garage with a yardstick.
she said Pull the car in the garage, as she smaked the stick in her hands, in a threatening way.
But when I pulled in and got out of the car, she threw the stick down and started pushing me saying, wanna fight? come on, lets go! And she was provoking me to hit her....and I just kinda curled up and waited for her to calm down. I mean if I would have hit her, she would have killed me, ya know?
My mom was just crazy. still is, actually.
But there was just never real punishment for my actions. Never any rules....she let my boyfriend spend the night when I was 14. in my bed. My dad tried to put his foot down on that, and of coure I threw a fit and my mom fought with my dad until he backed down.
I am amazed that I learned right from wrong, and turned out how I did.
My borhter was not so lucky. I molded myelf to be as different from my mom as possible. My brother on the other hand, took his freedom and ran with it, and he is not in good shape now, at age 21. either one of us graduated from high school. Luckily, I went to college. He did not. He can't even hold down a job, and is an alcoholic on drugs. he and my mom party together, and they thjink I am a self ricious bitch because I refused to partake in thoes activities with them. yeah...my mom actualyl hates me cause I am a good person. She likes my brother much more than me. Meanwhile, he hasn't had a driver's lisence ever, caused it was taken off him before he even was old enough to have one, he has wrecked 3 catrs she bought for him drunk driving, he has been in and out of jail...I've never been arrested. She isn't proud of me, she hates me for it. why? who knows.

/threadjack. LOL. oops.

Yeah. on point: discipline your kids. they not only need it, but they want it, trust me. I wish I would have been disciplined.

ExoticEngineer
11-21-2007, 06:15 PM
I find this thread so very interesting. All the different ways we were raised, and how everyone turned out. And in turn how we reflect our upbringing on our children or potential/imaginary children.

To be honest, when I did not have child, I had said "I will never spank my kid" This is not to say that those of you who have said that will in fact wind up spanking, not at all. That was just my view before I ever had a kiddo.

Now I have spanked him (two times) in cases where I thought it was the right time and in a manner I felt was appropriate. Now however, I think he is too old to spank, an I don't think he would recieve it in a way that would do any good.

But as I was saying, it is so interesting how we all turned out and how we were all raised with defferent methods of discipline.

Madcap
11-21-2007, 06:25 PM
I think that 98% of the time things can be handled just fine in other ways. Some things are too hefty, though, and require a little more than a time-out to drive the point home that these things are not something kids (or anyone, for that matter) should be doing.

Spanking a kid because they got a "d" or because you heard them say the word "fuck" is counterproductive, spanking them because you caught them stealing or playing with fire might not be.

VenusGoddess
11-21-2007, 08:00 PM
Now however, I think he is too old to spank, an I don't think he would recieve it in a way that would do any good.

I firmly believe that if your child is older than 6 years old, they should not be spanked...at all. If you don't have your authority in place prior to that time...really, there is nothing you can do.

I do believe in reward systems and we use them all the time with Makayla (and will for our other children). However, there is a time and place for a spanking and as long as you're not spanking for every little reason...spankings will be remembered.

With Makayla, if she's talking back to me or giving me attitude...I just send her to her room and tell her when she can talk to me in a more respectful voice, then she can come down (same thing if she's having a temper tantrum...I tell her she's welcome to rejoin us once she's feeling better and calmed down). Spankings are dealt out very rarely here...but if it's threatened, we do follow up. So far, however, it's never gotten to the point where we've had to spank...just the thought of getting spanked is enough to make her stop in her tracks and rethink her course of action.

Which is nice...I hate spanking. But, I will do it if it comes down to it.

TheSexKitten
11-22-2007, 12:47 PM
I firmly believe that if your child is older than 6 years old, they should not be spanked...at all. If you don't have your authority in place prior to that time...really, there is nothing you can do.

I do believe in reward systems and we use them all the time with Makayla (and will for our other children). However, there is a time and place for a spanking and as long as you're not spanking for every little reason...spankings will be remembered.

With Makayla, if she's talking back to me or giving me attitude...I just send her to her room and tell her when she can talk to me in a more respectful voice, then she can come down (same thing if she's having a temper tantrum...I tell her she's welcome to rejoin us once she's feeling better and calmed down). Spankings are dealt out very rarely here...but if it's threatened, we do follow up. So far, however, it's never gotten to the point where we've had to spank...just the thought of getting spanked is enough to make her stop in her tracks and rethink her course of action.

Which is nice...I hate spanking. But, I will do it if it comes down to it.



:O :O :O

... your parenting style is almost exactly the same to my mom when I was that age. :)

stripperMBA
11-22-2007, 12:59 PM
This a funny comedy skit about spanking..;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1tTLbDlg8M