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cameron_keys
11-26-2007, 03:12 PM
I don't know how you guys can do it, I really can't, perhaps being so secure in yourselves helps? I'm a jealous woman, I frequent SC with my hubby and get him dances and I am ok with that but if he calls me and says his boss and him are at a SC without me, I don't like it, first wth man and second cause oh who knows.

Point is we goof about it "uhh she's hot, uhh he's hot" and so on but there is just no way I could handle him touching another person. I remember once in PR we went out with my sister. WE met up with some of her friends and we were all having a great time. Now it was like 4 am and everyone was hungry so we stopped at this joint and one of my sisters friends was really excited about being off of work and was very nice, then she got too nice. She kept putting her hands on Brian's shoulders :deep breath: so I told my sister "Marie can you tell your little friend to keep her hands to herself?" Marie was like "oh boy" so she distracted her friend a while, then Brian turned on a smoke and this girl got real close to Brian and put her arm on his shoulder and said "can I have a drag?"

Brian gave her his cigarette and when she went to give it back I took it from her hand and tossed in on the floor and said "what are freaking nuts I don't know this chick and what kind of diseases she has" her face changed and my sister said "Well look at the time!WE got to go"


IF I can't handle that, oh man no way I could handle anything else lol

Well it certainly isnt for everyone. Everyone ....in OR out of the lifestyle has their own boundries. And thats for each personand cpl to determine themselves. For some monogomy is what they want...for other sexual freedom is cool, but not emotional..for others, full on polygamy is what makes them happy.

THe important thing is..we shouldnt judge..nobody is better or worse for their choices. I"m not a whore for liking sex with people other then my husband and someone else isnt a prude for not wanting that. Its all a matter of what your comfort zone is and what makes you happy. Consenting adults making their own choices and all that...

Clara_M
11-26-2007, 04:55 PM
I've never had a non-standard relationship, though I'd be interested. Haven't had the opportunity (in other words, the strong enough desire!) to bring it up.

I'm also of the no hand-holding variety. Deep emotional connection is a big no-no.

Sex, as sex, by the SO, if it weren't for diseases, I wouldn't care at all, except when there are current issues in the relationship. Doesn't turn me on, doesn't turn me off, just neutral. For myself, there's a turn-on, though not very major. Something I'd do maybe once or twice a year at most.

A friend I was to about how I'm cool with sex told me she's exactly the reverse. Hyper-jealous on the physical side to the point of freaking out at her SO *looking* at other women, but doesn't have issues with emotional connections, sees them as deep friendships only. So there really are all kinds!

kandie_kitten
11-27-2007, 05:23 PM
I totally understand EE.

When I was in an open relationship, I always hated people heard "we're in an open relationship", and took it to mean "oh, she'll sleep with anyone, she'll do me right now!"

Well, no, creepy guy. Just because I can have sex with other people, does not mean I have no standards.

It's frustrating.

But anyway, the reasoning behind an "open relationship" and the "rules" always reminded me of an old Robert DeNiro movie. In it, he's married but bored with life. He meets a nice woman at a bookstore, and they strike up a deep friendship, going out to dinner/theater, having long deep discussions, etc. The wife finds out and freaks out, and he yells at her "But I did nothing wrong! I never touched her, it was just a mental thing!" And the wife says "that's worse...sleeping with her I could understand".

That always made perfect sense to me, but it confused a lot of people. It was a movie ahead of its time.

sexy_celeste
11-27-2007, 07:15 PM
I know what would make me jealous. If he did something with another woman when I wasn't around or without telling me about it.


This is the only condition on our sexlife. We are BOTH invited to any activities.
(not that hes EVER turned me down lol) Even if its only to watch.