View Full Version : should i tell the wife?
greenidlady1
11-27-2007, 04:24 PM
If you knew he was married to begin with then you knew the relationship was more than likely not going to be a permanent one. Are you younger and he is older?
I am guessing you enjoyed the sex or time with him. Something must have got you interested in him. Whatever it was I suppose you both enjoyed each other for a moment. So you both got some satisfaction from the situation. He lost interest when you became pregnant. You should have known he's pretty self-centered if he would cheat on his wife. Then he confirmed it even more by pushing you to have an abortion. He's an selfish asshole, so that's his punishment to himself. People who only think of themselves end up with just themselves. Consider him already punished. You made a mistake. Don't do it again.
I feel indifferent as to whether you tell his wife. She likely suspects it. She probably knows he's a selfish asshole by now and tolerates it. You telling her might not change much or it might break up their marriage which sounds like is already broke IMO.
GentlemanX
11-27-2007, 06:11 PM
He's the homewrecker, not you. The marriage was over before you walked into his life. Sure, you were wrong, too, but as long as you learned a lesson from this, I wouldn't beat myself up over it.
If it makes you feel better, nail his ass to the wall. Nothing wrong with revenge. Don't keep all that anger bottled up inside you. I'm sure the wife will thank you when she dumps his ass before she's wasted too many years on this asshole.
A cheating spouse may bring home a disease (AIDS, Hepatitis, Herpes). By spilling the beans, you may save the wife's life or prevent her from getting something nasty in the future (He'll probably cheat again). Hey, telling the wife could be your penance. Think of it that way.
Has anyone noticed how James Bond goes to the absolute extreme, devoid of reason arguments in favor of women no matter what the circumstances? I don't undertstand how anyone can hate their own gender so much. Yes, the married guy was totally wrong but we have no clue what else is going on in the guy's life. Maybe he truly learned a life lesson or maybe he volunteers in the soup kitchen. Maybe he is a saint in other apsects of his life. The point is, where is Bond's messianic fervor and hatred for men comming from? Does anyone else find this behavior really weird how he absolves the woman of all blame and advocates destroying the guy's life?
On the advice issue, my view is just to get over it and move on. Both parties were wrong but hurting the wife by telling her really benefits no one. We really don't know what that married couple's relationship is like. And, the bottom line, when you're married its up to you and your spouse to figure things out together. It isn't up to outside parties to start making value judgements and try to start manipulating things from outside the marriage. We don't know what will happen if they stay together. True, he could keep cheating and the marriage will fall apart. But, they could have years of happy marriage together and that would be ruined if the wife is told. It's their marriage to figure out, not the ex-mistress's.
By the way, for women who take a lot of slack about what they do, its pretty clear that all the girls on here have very high morals.
Dottie Rebel
11-27-2007, 06:31 PM
:O :O :O
Being a lesbian = doing drugs = ruining marriages? What fucking planet do YOU live on?
I think it's called Redneckanus.
She's a bigot, a homewrecker, and deserves the Jerry Springer like life she has created for herself.
Congratulations!
GentlemanX
11-27-2007, 06:37 PM
That's a really hot pic, Dottie. Is that you?
Dottie Rebel
11-27-2007, 06:42 PM
Yeah, I had some pics taken last week for a contest.
GentlemanX
11-27-2007, 06:45 PM
If you don't win that contest, I'm sure then it was rigged.
AudreyLeigh
11-27-2007, 06:58 PM
Dottie I was going to say the same thing - youre a babe!
ExoticEngineer
11-27-2007, 07:02 PM
NEw Crush!!!! New Crush!!!!!!!!!!! :drool:
I mean, Hi Dottie, I'm totally joining in on the threadjacking and flirting with you! :flirt:
Dottie Rebel
11-27-2007, 07:03 PM
^^^LOL This time MY ass jacked the thread! Hell yeah! We're like super heroes--keeping stripperweb drama free with our delicious booties.
P.S. There is a full size version in the booty pic thread ;)
DSUsb19
11-27-2007, 07:04 PM
NEw Crush!!!! New Crush!!!!!!!!!!! :drool:
I mean, Hi Dottie, I'm totally joining in on the threadjacking and flirting with you! :flirt:
I concur. Wow Dottie. Schwing. :cupid:
GentlemanX
11-27-2007, 07:05 PM
haha. Sorry for messing up the thread but it couldn't be avoided. Excuse me while I check out the bootie pic thread...
BalletBaby
11-27-2007, 07:27 PM
Supposedly - read her other threads.... Am I pregnant.... Can I do pole tricks while pregnant.... blah blah blah....
It looked like just about every thread she's posted in was her asking a question. She even asked if she could take out a loan for school and then use it to pay for boobs. This girl obviously doesn't have morals.
AudreyLeigh
11-27-2007, 08:38 PM
It looked like just about every thread she's posted in was her asking a question. She even asked if she could take out a loan for school and then use it to pay for boobs. This girl obviously doesn't have morals.
Yea, I mean when I took out a school loan and went to Hawaii on it I didnt go around telling people.......some things you just keep to yourself.. sheesh.......
Glamazon
11-27-2007, 08:44 PM
Yea, I mean when I took out a school loan and went to Hawaii on it I didnt go around telling people.......some things you just keep to yourself.. sheesh.......
Well now we know your dirty secret!!:D
AudreyLeigh
11-27-2007, 08:48 PM
Ah shit! I knew it would get out eventually... but DAMN was it FUN!!!!
Madcap
11-27-2007, 09:13 PM
Tell thew wife, she should know her Husband is a jerk-off!
Gynger
11-27-2007, 09:28 PM
As a woman who was cheated on by her ex husband (emphasize EX here)... it is not your place to call up the wife and air his dirty laundry. It does take TWO to have an affair.
Granted, I can see your point of calling up to have your confession, however all you are doing is creating a larger web than you have legs to weave. You open yourself up to several factors here:
Pscyho wife who does not have a clue who then in turn takes her anger out on you;
Angry lover who will do everything in his power to proove you are a psychotic stalker in order to keep his wife and family in tact.
If you really feel that a confession or cleansing is in order for you to "feel better" about yourself, go see a counselor. And, learn from your mistakes.
It is not your place to create turmoil. If it is anyone's "job" per se, it is the husband's duty to admit his wrong doings to his spouse, and make things right, and not by some woman who was nothing more than a nice distraction or a little added excitement to get through a lull period in his life.
I'm much wiser beyond my years due to my ex husband, and I also had every idea that he WAS cheating and I remained silent about it until the right time approached for me to do what I had been planning on doing for years. Most wives will be silent until they have reached their "goal" of leaving- the "goal" could be anything from having money set aside, monitoring all their activities for a nice little way of getting what they want in the divorce to giving their children the home they are accustomed until they can afford to provide for them on their own at the same level.
If you come for advice, take it... if you want someone to agree with you.. that's an entirely different thread...
Silverback
11-27-2007, 09:30 PM
NEw Crush!!!! New Crush!!!!!!!!!!! :drool:
I mean, Hi Dottie, I'm totally joining in on the threadjacking and flirting with you! :flirt:
Oh, I was sure you meant me this time. :-\
PrincessShea
11-27-2007, 10:02 PM
You want drama, and you don't care who you step on/hurt/destroy/etc to get it. So why did you even ask?
It doesn't bother me so much that you want to destroy this woman's marriage and life, because that's how all vengeful skanks are, but I'm just curious why you need our validation?
And, if this were my husband, I wouldn't want to know just so you can go home and giggle yourself to sleep. In fact, I'd probably bitch slap the shit out of you.
BalletBaby
11-27-2007, 10:12 PM
Yea, I mean when I took out a school loan and went to Hawaii on it I didnt go around telling people.......some things you just keep to yourself.. sheesh.......
O RLY?:P *takes out student loan* Hawaii, here I come!!!
And am I the only one who can't stop staring at PrincessShea's 'fuck yeah' siggy?:D
PrincessShea
11-27-2007, 10:24 PM
It's my mind control device. You're all now a part of my zombie army. Thanks! :)
BalletBaby
11-27-2007, 10:26 PM
FUCK YEAH!
I mean.....:x
Christany
11-27-2007, 10:39 PM
It's my mind control device. You're all now a part of my zombie army. Thanks! :)
FUCK YEAH!
I mean.....:x
This is my favorite part of this whole thread.
hardkandee
11-27-2007, 10:48 PM
Well, this was a fun thread.
I think she's loooooong gone.
stellaforstars
11-27-2007, 10:49 PM
^^Indeed.
Bridgette
11-27-2007, 11:32 PM
Ok, I haven't read past the top of page two. But, TROLL.
PrettyCurlieQ
11-28-2007, 12:11 AM
Don't tell his wife. It's not your business. You didn't think about her while you were fucking her husband, she's just the idiot wife. You don't know anything about her. If you did or cared, you wouldn't have been fucking her husband behind her back. It's too late, forget about the both of them. He'll get what's coming to him and it's not your place to ensure that. What goes around comes around.
Aelfu_Gifu
11-28-2007, 12:33 AM
being a lesbian and doing drugs is just as bad as fucking a married man. im just saying dont act like im the only one doing bad things. ya i like to argue,but to prove a point,my point is,he did wrong i did wrong,so now i have to move on and not get anything out of this,but being hurt? no i dont think so,he doesnt deserve to get away with it.
The end of a relationship says nothing about you.
That in mind, what good would punishing him do? Suffering begets suffering. In its own perfect time, for the greater good of all, this will work out.
What sort of person do you want to be? Do you want to generate love or anger? Peace or strife? Happiness or discord?
Ask yourself what you can do to generate love, which is very obviously what you want. (And THAT is totally natural! We all want to be loved.) This man is not emotionally available for a relationship. That says nothing about you. Take the next right action in your life. Toss out his number and contact information and commit yourself to being a more loving, tolerant person.
twisterinAZ
11-28-2007, 12:43 AM
Being a lesbian is just as bad as doing drugs and fucking a married man??? WTF?? How the hell screwed up are you???
You are an ass. Go have your revenge,...fuck up his family..maybe if you are lucky you can stand outside and listen to his kids cry too. I'm sure that'll make you feel much better.
It doesnt matter what anyone here says. You are obviously insane and intent on getting your petty shitty revenge and punishing his WHOLE family because the two of you didnt have the morals to keep from fucking each other.
Yeah...two wrongs TOTALLY make a right..this will make it ALL better.
You are crazy. And you have the nerve to say his WIFE is a bitch???? Baby..shes nothin' compared to you. At least she didnt get poked by someone elses husband and then try to bust up their family when she got dumped like some Fatal Attraction Psycho.
Sha ZAAAAAAAM !!!!!!!!!!
Budai
11-28-2007, 04:57 AM
...if he really wanted it to work out and loved her he would have never have fucked me! he just wants his cake and wants to eat it too.
kenzi19:
IMO, what you've failed to recognize is that he's always had his cake and now he's eating it, too. You are simply the icing that he inevitably finished licking from his fingers.
Nothing you disclose to his wife can reverse your position on the menu...
NinaDaisy
11-28-2007, 05:36 AM
I'm waaaay late on this shit, and it very well could be a troll, but...
What's done is done and you can't take back not fucking him.
Yes, the wife deserves to know for her health and sanity, but I get the impression that the wife would just turn a blind eye and the husband seems like a real smooth talker who would promise her it would never happen again.
Men aren't as good as getting away with that shit as they think they are. She likely already knew something was up, but is just glad it's over.
The OP sounds like a vicious, delusional cunt. Let it go.
I found out after my last boyfriend and I broke up that he was still fucking his ex (who he dumped me for) on the side. I knew where she worked, but had no intention of talking to her about anything because there was just no point. I was well aware if I tried to "compare stories" with her, it would have been purely out of revenge and no good would have come out of it for anyone.
Grow up.
cutey5032
11-28-2007, 08:53 AM
nope im mostly doing this for me..its called respect he should have never have led me on. im a good person,i guess im a homwrecker,but i dont do drugs,i hardly drink,dont smoke,im healthy and happy for the most part. im not a lesbian or bi,i dont do extras at work,yada yada,let me ask you..have you ever done anything wrong in life?
Oh man I didn't even get past this part in the thread......:rotfl:
OK, not saying anything!!
xdamage
11-28-2007, 09:05 AM
Well on the positive side, I see many people understand the concept of taking responsibility for one's choices (HURRAY), and everybody except for the OP seems to understand that the list of "bad things" people do (e.g., lesbian, drugs, smoking) is not comparable to choosing to do something that hurts someone else. Again, HURRAY for that.