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PhillyDancer1982
12-20-2007, 11:46 AM
*Now im back at home in Cali but i cannot seem to find a job that i can hold onto, i've been trying to do porn but my agency isn't working with me. im trying to get into stripping but the clubs are either all full or giving me the runaround...im considering the army because im that desperate

I can relate to this. I was in a bad spot during most of college and after college, when my family wouldn't even let me move back home for very long because they were convinced that someone "smart and educated" like me should be able to easily find a decent paying job. When I couldn't find a job after college, I was in a very similar spot and that's what convinced me to turn to dancing for a while until I could secure full-time employment.

Also, my friend/ex-boyfriend joined the military(the navy) because he needed money and he wasn't making enough at the restaurant jobs he had. But then again, he'd always considered making a career out of the military, so it wasn't such a "desperate" decision for him. He just made the decision before finishing college, as opposed to entering the military after graduation, probably because it was hard for him to pay for college + all of his expenses. The military is a great career path and it offers great benefits. However, I believe that the military isn't for everyone. (for example, I could never see myself passing the rigorous basic training that my ex and many of my guy friends went through!) But perhaps it's for you and you'll find a lot of opportunities with it, so check it out!

I heard that Cali's strip club industry isn't as thriving or lucrative as other areas of the country. Perhaps it'd be worth relocating to another area? For example, I heard that there's money to be made in Texas(but please correct me if I am wrong...I am not an expert by any means :))

Porn is very financially lucrative and fun too, but please be careful. I understand that you are desperate, but please do not let desperation get in the way of making sure that the company does legitimate STD testing and verifies all CURRENT results. I've heard a horror story or two about people that did porn for extra money to pay a bill, just to find out a few days later that the porn producers hadn't checked the actors' current STD results, and the actors ended up having something really bad(luckily those people turned out negative, but they were scared shitless for a while). You do NOT want to earn a few grand to pay bills, just to get stuck with a "debt sentence" of medical bills stemming from an incurable STD like HIV or Hep C. It's rare that this will happen, but it can and HAS happened before! Don't let that happen to you...if you get an assignment, make sure you see all of the actors' current STD results in writing! Also, please consider that some diseases such as HIV have a "window period," where positive results will not show up in the DNA tests until minimum 10 days after contraction...therefore, a "negative" test result within the last 30 days may not be a true representation. Just wanted to give you the heads up.

I wish you the best of luck with your job search and finding a good way to make money. I know how much it can suck to be in a bad financial spot(some of my many posts on this thread show a mere "tip of the iceberg" of what I went through in the past).

VegasPrincess
12-20-2007, 12:02 PM
^^ I barked like a dog for a Klondike Bar :(

I'd still do that tho. Klondike bars are delicous. LOL

Orpheus13
12-21-2007, 12:52 AM
...lived under many bridges in Colorado

...slept in culverts, parking garages, under bushes, by the riverside

...stole food

...broke into houses to find food

...went for days or weeks without food

...slept in the middle of downtown during the day because it was too cold to sleep at night

...was happy to get arrested for a warm place to sleep and food to eat

...tried hopping any train out to find somewhere better

...many more things...

...still eat ramen almost daily

I was so broke I went through alot of life in a short time... all those experiences have helped make me who I am today and help me appreciate having a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a roof over my head, and many mundane things a lot of people take for granted. I'm finally in a position to give back, which is why my coworkers always give me crap for how much money I spend on charity... I get pictures and letters from my sponsored child in Guatemala every so often, and it fills my heart. She'll be 10 next June. I help build houses for Habitat, and try to make my little section of world a little better than I found it. You can't truly know what it's like until you've lived it, and I've had it better than a lot of people. Each life is a true story, however unreal it appears to you...:-X

Mily
12-21-2007, 04:09 AM
...became a stripper!


You are too funny. ::)



Anyway, I was so broke I...


- had to sleep on the floor of my brother and his roomate's apartment for months

- ate my brother's roomate's leftovers off of his plate everytime he cooked himself a meal. I would eat them after he left his dirty dishes on top of the sink, and he had left the house

- had to eat Top Ramen and Slimfast as meals for months at a time

- drove without any type of car insurance for a whole year

- stole plastic ware, cups, etc. from fast food places so I could eat and drink with something

- had to pay credit card bills with other credit cards

- couldn't afford necessities like toilet paper, tampons, etc.

- had to borrow money from a friend and didn't pay him back (yet)

- couldn't afford to buy my family any Christmas gifts at all :(

Bunny
12-22-2007, 01:17 AM
When I was in school I remember having to get gas one night at around 10 or 11 p.m. I was really low on gas and the pump wouldn't take my debit card. I think I was totally out of money. I had NO cash. I went inside to try to get the clerk to scan my card and it wouldn't accept it and that's the only way I had to pay. She must have seen how frustrated I was because she said, "Don't worry about it. Go put $5 in your car." I almost cried because it was so sweet of her and I really needed the gas. This was several years ago but is something I will always remember.

sammi
12-22-2007, 08:53 PM
I can relate to this. I was in a bad spot during most of college and after college, when my family wouldn't even let me move back home for very long because they were convinced that someone "smart and educated" like me should be able to easily find a decent paying job. When I couldn't find a job after college, I was in a very similar spot and that's what convinced me to turn to dancing for a while until I could secure full-time employment.

Also, my friend/ex-boyfriend joined the military(the navy) because he needed money and he wasn't making enough at the restaurant jobs he had. But then again, he'd always considered making a career out of the military, so it wasn't such a "desperate" decision for him. He just made the decision before finishing college, as opposed to entering the military after graduation, probably because it was hard for him to pay for college + all of his expenses. The military is a great career path and it offers great benefits. However, I believe that the military isn't for everyone. (for example, I could never see myself passing the rigorous basic training that my ex and many of my guy friends went through!) But perhaps it's for you and you'll find a lot of opportunities with it, so check it out!

I heard that Cali's strip club industry isn't as thriving or lucrative as other areas of the country. Perhaps it'd be worth relocating to another area? For example, I heard that there's money to be made in Texas(but please correct me if I am wrong...I am not an expert by any means :))

Porn is very financially lucrative and fun too, but please be careful. I understand that you are desperate, but please do not let desperation get in the way of making sure that the company does legitimate STD testing and verifies all CURRENT results. I've heard a horror story or two about people that did porn for extra money to pay a bill, just to find out a few days later that the porn producers hadn't checked the actors' current STD results, and the actors ended up having something really bad(luckily those people turned out negative, but they were scared shitless for a while). You do NOT want to earn a few grand to pay bills, just to get stuck with a "debt sentence" of medical bills stemming from an incurable STD like HIV or Hep C. It's rare that this will happen, but it can and HAS happened before! Don't let that happen to you...if you get an assignment, make sure you see all of the actors' current STD results in writing! Also, please consider that some diseases such as HIV have a "window period," where positive results will not show up in the DNA tests until minimum 10 days after contraction...therefore, a "negative" test result within the last 30 days may not be a true representation. Just wanted to give you the heads up.

I wish you the best of luck with your job search and finding a good way to make money. I know how much it can suck to be in a bad financial spot(some of my many posts on this thread show a mere "tip of the iceberg" of what I went through in the past).

thank you so much for your kind words. being in this spot is doing a number on my mood and whatnot. im swiftly approaching drunk as i type this...i am alone. its pretty pathetic.

i need to be careful but im pretty close to approaching the point in my life where im like "what do i have to lose?" ... i know that saying something like "i have so much to be thankful for" is the right thing to say but honestly i just dont feel that way. im just praying that January and 2008 brings better things for me...otherwise i'll br writing to you all from basic training.

btw, the military isn't "for me" either... i never ever for one minute thought i would be where i am in my life. i had to back up plan. there was no plan b. there was college, and that was it. my mom didn't tell me we couldn't afford it. here i am.

just keep me in your prayers y'all.

oh and Bunny...the same thing happened to me once. I kept having the guy re-swipe my card at lower and lower amounts, and i just kept coming back declined. he finally had pity on me and just gave me some gas. i nearly cried.

PhillyDancer1982
12-23-2007, 06:23 AM
thank you so much for your kind words. being in this spot is doing a number on my mood and whatnot. im swiftly approaching drunk as i type this...i am alone. its pretty pathetic.

i need to be careful but im pretty close to approaching the point in my life where im like "what do i have to lose?" ... i know that saying something like "i have so much to be thankful for" is the right thing to say but honestly i just dont feel that way. im just praying that January and 2008 brings better things for me...otherwise i'll br writing to you all from basic training.

btw, the military isn't "for me" either... i never ever for one minute thought i would be where i am in my life. i had to back up plan. there was no plan b. there was college, and that was it. my mom didn't tell me we couldn't afford it. here i am.

just keep me in your prayers y'all.

oh and Bunny...the same thing happened to me once. I kept having the guy re-swipe my card at lower and lower amounts, and i just kept coming back declined. he finally had pity on me and just gave me some gas. i nearly cried.

I'm glad I helped you out, if at least just a little. Trust me, I know how you feel about wondering if you really have anything to be thankful for this holiday season. I felt the same way. There were times I felt there was no hope.

There were times that I was trying to get into stripping, and that wasn't working out either. For example, two-faced "friends" who didn't talk to me all semester, but suddenly called me up one day to tell me in a snooty voice that they heard I was thinking about stripping and how it was "suuuuuch a bad idea and it'll burn bridges for you for the rest of your life." Or clubs that were hesitant to hire me because I looked a LOT younger than my age of 21/22 so they were skeptical that my ID was real. They also thought it was weird that some "nice lil' country girl" from a well-to-do town would want to come to the "big city" and strip(in reality, I didn't even live in said well-to-do town, but was living at the mercy of my friend's sofa. Besides, I've always been tough and had an urban preference, but that shows you how people can stereotype you based on the zip code you have on your driver's license). A few times when I told random guys near strip clubs that I was thinking of dancing(just to get a response as a way to gage if it was a good idea or not), they said, "But you need to have a really good body for that...and I don't know if you have that or not" because I was dressed in baggy sweatpants and clothes that did nothing for my figure. But I didn't consider the baggy clothes part, I just got hurt feelings and even more discouraged about dancing for a while.

I can also relate to the whole drinking thing...back when I was going through hard times, I tended to abuse alcohol(amongst other things) at one point as my way to cope. Hells, if it weren't for me walking 4 miles uphill to the BAR one Christmas night, I literally would have spent it alone in an empty house with only a bag of pasta for food(that shows how much my family hated me back then). If you want to know more, PM me...there's a lot of stuff that I haven't written about on this board because it's too embarrassing/shameful.

One last thing: I know it is easy to think "I have nothing to lose," but please do not do anything that puts you at risk for bloodborne disease(porn that doesn't do STD background checks, etc). As hard as it can be to be poor, it's even harder to be HIV positive and poor. I read that it costs ~$2100/month for antiretroviral meds and care, which totals $600,000 per lifetime for meds and healthcare. I have a guy friend who has HIV and he has 6-digit medical debts from liver/digestive disorders related to his HIV. My friend has a decent job and a supportive family so he lives a normal life, but I did read that a lot of people with expensive illnesses(such as HIV) are more likely to end up homeless. If no longer a death sentence these days, HIV is still a surefire way to strap yourself down with a "debt sentence." Probably ditto for Hep C, although I do not have the cost stats for that disease. Just to give you the heads up...just make sure any porn companies do CURRENT background checks or better yet, uses condoms(not as common in today's porn though).

bebewood
03-12-2008, 02:31 AM
omg this is so sad. i thought I had little money but jeez, i am lucky. my parents are always willing to give me money even though they are poor as well! i usually dont ask for it though, a nd lately i have been working enough to not need any of the money they send me. the only things i have done is stay with guys i only saw as friends because they would give me rides to work and take me out to eat and go grocery shopping with me (since i dont have a car), and take the bus at 12am to get home from gigs because i dont have a car and the gig didnt pay enough for me to want to take a taxi home. i dont live in a great neighborhood either so its kind of risky, so im glad i have a bf now who can give me rides home if i ever need it.

Divalicious
03-12-2008, 02:40 AM
I still do this. Have my doctor prescribe OTC medications becuase she and i both knew i couldn't afford it.

PhillyDancer1982
03-12-2008, 08:44 AM
Ya know, it really makes you realize how bad you really had it, when you tell your friends just one very small story about how hard it was to make ends meet(and not nearly the worst story either), and they sit there in stunned shock and say, "Wow, I feel like such a spoiled piece of shit. Hearing stories like yours makes me realize how much I take things for granted in my life. I've never had it nearly as bad as that and maybe I should be more thankful for that." That's what happened last night. :(

Here's the story I told them. We were debating the issue of people entering the military because they have no other way to survive or pay for college. My friend pointed out that there's always loans, grants, etc and that's when I had to tell her my story about how I couldn't pay tuition. I explained how I was a straight-A student with a $15K/yr scholarship to a private college, but the scholarship didn't cover any room/board costs + tuition would increase $2-3K/yr yet my scholarship would stay the same. I didn't qualify for any financial aide except for a very miniscule, UNsubsidized Stafford loan. I couldn't get approved for private loans either because someone ruined my credit(long story...but later I brought lawsuit against the person and WON) and my parents refused to cosign any loans for me. I was working 3-4 part-time jobs alongside a 20-credit courseload each semester and other than tutoring or work study jobs, the jobs I had paid diddly shit and did more financial DAMAGE than good for me(e.g., interfering with my schoolwork to the point that I had to drop and retake a course, costing me more money than the income I made the entire duration of the job). You can see where this is headed...I ended up over my head in tuition debt to my college. I tried really hard to find a way out, but there was nothing I could do about it(except dancing, which I didn't do but should have!!). By graduation time, I was disqualified from graduation ceremony AND had my diploma forfeited simply because I owed the college an outstanding balance. How mortifying is THAT, to work so hard and then get banned from graduation just like my ex-friend who flunked high school?? Fortunately, I was able to finish my coursework in only 3 yrs instead of 4(thanks to AP credits + summer classes), so by the time I fell behind in my tuition costs, at least I was done my degree so that was one less thing to worry about. Almost a year went by and I was still unable to pay off the tuition, so that (along with a few other money-money-money reasons) pushed me to get into dancing so I could actually get the degree I'd studied so hard for. :(

thechaosfairy
03-12-2008, 08:58 AM
I've never been in straits as dire as many of you describe. I'm really lucky to have parents who are able and willing to come through whenever my life comes down to eating / not eating or sleeping / not sleeping.

It has, a few times, and I don't know what I would have done if not for them. A year and a half ago, I overextended really badly trying to run a business -- there were almost no returns, and I was dancing to support two rents, in shitty clubs. (Still had to pay the rent on a credit card, since I didn't manage to make any money for weeks at a time.)

This, and the time I worked the job with the two-and-a-half-hour each way commute, can be more attributed to foolishness and moocher's guilt than to truly dire circumstances. Most of my clothes came from dollar sale days at the thrift store, and most of my food came from credit cards, but I never lacked for either. I'm a food hoarder, and seem to do really well for long periods of time on pasta + cheese.

But the part of that situation that I can say was truly, truly awful was the fact that, when I burned out on dancing for almost nothing and gave up, I couldn't get a retail job.

I thought it would be a cinch. I'd worked retail before and done pretty well at it. I applied and applied for eight months. Retail jobs? Too much college now. Office jobs? Waiting tables? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Pizza place counter clerk? "Um... you don't have any food service on your resume." Part of that was the job market, part of it was how panicked I got every time I tried to interview. I was living on borrowed money and really scared of what would happen when it ran out. I finally found a job in a call center and worked there for a month, and wearing the headset gave me migraine headaches every day and I just kept going to work because I was so pathetically grateful just to *have* a job. By the time I sought work in Asia, I felt utterly devalued. I felt like I was a pus-oozing leper. It was horrid.

Happy ending, though, or at least a happy middle. Although I do feel guilty and bad about temporarily abandoning my marriage. My teaching job is really for the better in the long run, over a retail job in Portland. It's boosted my self esteem and made me feel like my education is worth something, rather than being a big "don't hire me, Ross Dress for Less" sign around my neck.

PhillyDancer1982
03-12-2008, 10:53 AM
I thought it would be a cinch. I'd worked retail before and done pretty well at it. I applied and applied for eight months. Retail jobs? Too much college now. Office jobs? Waiting tables? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Pizza place counter clerk? "Um... you don't have any food service on your resume." Part of that was the job market, part of it was how panicked I got every time I tried to interview. I was living on borrowed money and really scared of what would happen when it ran out.

That's pretty much what happened to me shortly after college. A lot of dead end jobs told me I was overqualified...or they simply never called me back. All of the decent jobs, like waitressing or office work, didn't want me because I didn't have office experience OR recent waitressing experience in a chain restaurant or something other than a family diner-ish type place. However, I did manage to find retail jobs...but I didn't last at these places, as they had unreasonable expectations for scheduling(e.g., a 4-hr 5am shift...this shift didn't allow me to have a social life AND it wasn't nearly enough hours to make any "real" money from) and sometimes jobs like that just aren't worth it when you end up spending more in commute costs(gas, car repairs incurred by all the mileage, etc) than you're earning.

dancinslifoxxx17
03-12-2008, 03:08 PM
...pumped gas(knowing I didn't have any cash I mean zilch) I went in and told the cashier I forgot my money. She said I had 24 hrs. to pay it back. I got the cash to pay it back from my dad. I should've asked him for money from the start. There's a lot more, but, I thought I'd keep it short.

Miss Chevious
01-18-2012, 07:51 PM
deleted

firemaiden04
01-18-2012, 08:01 PM
Stayed with an abusive boyfriend because I didn't have the money to move out of our place together.

Stole the testers from Sephora because I couldn't otherwise afford makeup. I eventually upgraded to stealing the actual products for sale.

Lived without heat for several months in the late winter/early spring because I couldn't afford to pay the heating bill. I had to heat water on the stove for baths.

Laurisa
01-20-2012, 12:00 PM
Lived in my car, slept in the trunk with the back seat down (so people walking by in the parking lot couldn't see), went to the guy's house I was fucking after his GF left for work to shower, and lived on about $2.00/day for food. I would smoke his GF's cigarettes she left in their ashtray.

Used foodstamps from my Mom to buy myself food.

Became an exotic dancer.

Put $2.00 in my gas tank.

Drove my car until the "1 mile to E" popped on the dashboard.

Not enough money for tampons, food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc.

Waited to eat until I got to the strip club where the house mom served free dinner (only meal of the day)

Purposely went to a club that had a house mom/free dinner set up versus the 'cleaner' club with no free food.

Unable to pay valet fee at club because I only had enough money for one gallon of gas to get home.

Waited to shower until I got to the strip club because I remembered there were new razor cartridges in the shower last time I was there and I couldn't afford a new razor.

Sat with a customer so he'd buy me dinner when I knew he wouldn't get dances but I didn't have money for food.

etc etc.

Somehow I've always had enough money for my son, his diapers, food, etc. I've never had to borrow or steal things for my son.

RaRa
01-20-2012, 08:01 PM
Lived on pasta until I could barely lift my feet from iron deficiency and malnutrition.
Wore the same clothes for years. I'd replace them by taking a few of the same clothes into the change room and come out wearing a new piece and have the old piece on the hanger between the others. The staff would only look to see I came out more or less with what i went in with. They didn't check the 3 bras were the same 3 new bras!
Stole coins from coin jars to buy food.
As soon as i got a bill I'd be ringing to arrange a payment plan.
Juggled multiple jobs - mucking out stables in the morning, casual supermarket work, fruit picking, teaching horse riding.
Got free stale bread from the bakery to feed my chickens which I didn't have.
Sleep in all of my clothes because I didn't have enough blankets or could afford heating.
Make the kids clothes, make the kids presents, use their school drawings as wrapping paper. Recycle gifts.

I've forgotten most of those things, it was a horrible period of my life, married and with 3 small children, but having said that it taught me good values (priorities, not to be wasteful, appreciate what you do have,empathy etc) and I don't think I'd be as happy or living comfortable now if I hadn't been through that. Me working as a stripper in addition to our day jobs got us out of the poverty hole, I feel so lucky that i did the stripping when i did because we'd still be in a struggling shit hole if I hadn't.

anouk.oui
01-20-2012, 11:00 PM
asked different people for cigarettes and hoarded them till i had enough for a pack
nothing really bad my pride wouldnt allow it

most of these were when i was around 13-15

live in housing commission

lied about being the legal 14 9 months to work at a pet shop and help support my family

didnt have money for 'cool and in' clothes so i ripped up all i owned and told people i hate cool and it things and how i was so alternative. wouldve killed for a guess purse or even a decent tshirt though

sit at home hungry trying to make a meal out of ketchup and after dinner mints

stole art materials from school supply cupboard

washed my hair with dish detergent

dyed my hair with coffee and cut it myself / go to an apprentice that would fuck it up

constantly make up stories about my family being too rich for me to give a fuck about the way i can/cannot dress

im actually quite sad now.....

GlitterBexie
01-22-2012, 06:52 PM
Walked half an hour to and from work in December with no coat and shoes so bare-soled and small not only did they give me blisters but by the time i got to see a doctor my feet were permanently cold, red, damaged, blistered and peeling from the cold/rain. Apparently i was about two miles short of trench foot!

Slept in different train stations in the same city wearing make-up so if anyone asked i could say id missed my last train and was waiting for the early morning one. Slept outside apartment blocks and when questioned, said i was waiting for my friend to bring her key to let me in.

Eaten food scraps off discarded plates, took food out of bins. Not eating for a few days at a time.

Smoked cigarettes from ashtrays, collected cigarette butts to roll into new cigarettes.

Selling my clothes, dvd's, jewellery etc.

I was lucky and was rescued and taken in by people who didnt even know me, just a friend of a friend who happened to see me, made a call and took me to a house where i was able to live, sleep, eat safely, all for free until i got myself sorted and i count myself very very fortunate that nothing horrific happened to me inbetween. I was too proud to call my parents who would never ever have let me do any of the things ive mentioned, my own pride put me in a place which was very dark and very scary and im still ashamed of myself for letting it get the better of me.

_Avery_
01-22-2012, 07:08 PM
I have pawned/sold everything (including gifts from my Granny...I'll never see those items again, and I hate thinking about it)

"Done shit" I'm not too proud of...

Have stole food/tampons/diapers (from stores) (would never steal from another person)

Have slept in a car

Have broken leases/skipped out on rent

Have lived with room mates

Have returned gifts to get food

Lived in motels

Slept on the floor

Gotten food from food banks

Welfare Christmas'

Been on foodstamps

----

There's still times I struggle, but I am grateful to finally have a roof (OUR OWN ROOF) over our head.
I'm happy and grateful to have food, a car, and a little money to buy things we need. (toilet paper, tampons, diapers).
It took us a long time to get here, and it's not always perfect, but it's A LOT better.

My kids have what they need. I'll always make sure of that, and do whatever I have to to make sure of that.
I've been to the very, very, very bottom and I think that it was a good thing. It's made me such a grateful person.

Don't take anything for granted.