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Lola Rose
12-15-2007, 10:03 AM
thanks everybody, so much! I'm glad my SW family is so supportive, most of my family, and most of his, will definatly both be less then thrilled :( It's so awesome to have Sw to glow and gloat and be all happy to!



Congratulations and salutations!

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."



- Mignon McLaughlin

That is probably my all time favorie marriage qoute! :heartbeat


Congrats! You two are quite the glamor couple. Hehe, I can't look at his face without giggling due to knowing what his ding-dong looks like. Again, congrats!

hehe!


Congratulations!

Great time of year for this to happen.

And there's no reason you shouldn't have cried.

Very best of Luck.

I forgot to wear waterproof mascara! lol. My pictures are definatly nicer for the lack of tears


May I be nosy and bombard you with questions?

1) How old are you guys?
2) Is he a nice Jewish boy, or is he converting for you, or is it not an issue?
3) What kind of wedding, when, where?
4) Have you popped the news to the family yet?
5) Honeymoon plans?
6) What does he do for a living?
7) Are you taking his last name?
8) Have you picked out a dress?
9) When will there be babies?


I'm sorry, I'm excited for you!

1. I'm 20. He is 24.

2. not jewish, and surprisingly, that's ok with me.

3.super fun and fab, with a few close friends, in vegas, at the venetian. In march (we wanted to do it in may, but it'll cost about 4k more for the week i wanted! no way!)

4. A little bit. I told 2 of my family members only. I'm planning on telling a few more, but I think I'mma tell most of them after the wedding, just send out a wedding announcement with a photo or 2. He hasn't told his family eiher. His mother is boycotting me, they live less then 1/2 an hour away, but she's never met me. I've met his father briefly, but he does what his wife tells him :( I think he'll tell his sister, and she'll relay the news. We want her (the sister) to come to vegas with us.

5. that's the great think about a destination wedding! It's all a honeymoon!

6. He works at comcast. He's Customer account execiutive.

7. yes. it's a much nicer last name then mine, and my innetials won't change.

8. no ma'am. I think that'll be tricky, b/c the date is so soon. ordering a wedding gown takes sooooo freaking long. 1 website said 6 months! another said 4, and that's way to long. I'mma have to buy one off the rack i think, to get it altered and done in time. I really want a dress from designer maggie sottero.

9. When we're well off enough that i can permanently retire from dancing. Hopefully we'll be trying by this time next year, at least!!!! Optimally we can start trying in july/august, so i can be the most pregnant through the cooler months :D


I would totally do the same thing!

I want to repeat that I am so, totally, glowingly happy for you Lola. You're a wonderful girl and you deserve every single happiness life has to offer.

thanks! muah!

blondi553
12-15-2007, 10:18 AM
omg thats so great lola!!!!!!!!!!! im excited for you!

RoseWhite
12-15-2007, 10:26 AM
Oh wow! Just saw this!!! Huge congratulations!

Katrine
12-15-2007, 11:02 AM
Congrats. How come his family doesn't approve? Is it a religion thing?

teeth_of_the_hydra
12-15-2007, 12:12 PM
AAAAAH I JUST SAW THIS OMG THAT IS SO EXCITING OMG

You must be so freakin' happy... it sounds like the whole thing was just perfect. I know you are crazy about each other and you've given a lot of though to the future. And it was beautiful yesterday! What a perfect day to get engaged. It's like the whole month of December in SRQ has been sunny and clear in anticipation of Rob popping the question. Because yes, I'm a goober, and I believe in stuff like that.

I hope you guys will have some sort of casual CnB engagement party, and I hope, if you do, I get to attend. I'd love to see you again and congratulate the two of you in person. Because you are so cute. OMG OMG OMG.

PrettyCurlieQ
12-15-2007, 12:21 PM
AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! :cheers:
Congratulations, sweetie!

P.S. That ROCK is to-die-for. Fabulous!

PuertoRicanPinup
12-15-2007, 01:31 PM
congratulations! You two are so cute and your ring is beautiful!

Lola Rose
12-15-2007, 02:19 PM
Congrats. How come his family doesn't approve? Is it a religion thing?

Sort of. Their southern baptists. The fact that we live together, and that we've taken vacations together before moving in loses me a lot of points as well I'm sure. And he's divorced. Although it was 100% finalized before I even met him, I'm pretty sure his mom thinks I'm somewhat to blame for it. And since their still in court over $ bs, she doesn't get that the divorce was finalized long ago. ::)


AAAAAH I JUST SAW THIS OMG THAT IS SO EXCITING OMG

You must be so freakin' happy... it sounds like the whole thing was just perfect. I know you are crazy about each other and you've given a lot of though to the future. And it was beautiful yesterday! What a perfect day to get engaged. It's like the whole month of December in SRQ has been sunny and clear in anticipation of Rob popping the question. Because yes, I'm a goober, and I believe in stuff like that.

I hope you guys will have some sort of casual CnB engagement party, and I hope, if you do, I get to attend. I'd love to see you again and congratulate the two of you in person. Because you are so cute. OMG OMG OMG.

I know, it was perfect weather! It's fate! ;D (ps- I'm a goober too! How funny that you use that word, I love it!)

And, How's next wednesday for you? (I need an excuse to miss the "mandatory" (aka no $$) custy appreciation party.

stellaforstars
12-15-2007, 04:08 PM
What an incredible ring!

Congrats, Lola. You deserve all the happiness in the world.

beauty21queen
12-15-2007, 04:14 PM
Awww Congratulations!!!

holiday
12-15-2007, 04:44 PM
Congrats sweetie!

Chrissy68
12-15-2007, 05:04 PM
wait. wait. lola, you're rushing into this, from an outsider's POV! dont you want to take it a little slower? your family isn't going to be there? i know how close you are with your mother, don't you think that's a mistake? what about the way you will raise kids (even if they are adopted kids, we've had that private discussion that doesnt need to be mroe public), will they be Jews or non-Jews? Have you talked about why his last marriage failed? I think that rushing is a bad move, what do you have to gain by rushing it? get your dream wedding dress and let it take 4-6 months. plus, you dont want to miss out on cool gifties from family member's friends and such.

TheSexKitten
12-15-2007, 05:46 PM
Ahh Crissy, the voice of reason! ;D Good things to consider, definitely. It's really unfortunate that your family is like super duper Jewish and his is like... Southern Baptist. What a combination!!! T__T Hopefully they will all reconcile their problems.

I came here again to tell you that you look radiantly beautiful in those pictures. I didn't mention that the first time and I decided a compliment was in order! :)

AlexxaHex
12-15-2007, 06:03 PM
Congrats!!! Ring pictures??!??

Ha!! I think we already saw pics of the other ring. :P

Well I think Chrissy and Cally have brought up some interesting things to consider...also you're 20?!?!? Gosh I could barely decide on a hair color for more than 3 months at that age. If you're happy, then I'm happy for you but maybe slow down a minute and consider the things that were mentioned?
:duck:
Please don't take this the wrong way but we love you and want to see you ultimately in a solid situation.

BTW though, Rob automatically gets another 10 points from me for being soooo tall. That's so hot.

Gypsy74
12-15-2007, 07:59 PM
OMG!!! I love that spot!!! I go there all the time (we have a pass so it's free) My friends got married there--- there's a lawn in the middle that is gorgeous for weddings. AAHHH Im' so jealous!!! Lucky you!! beautiful ring, you guys are so cute with your glasses... congratulations!!!!!!!!

PS_ I'm going to be in sarasota in a week!

BalletBaby
12-15-2007, 09:55 PM
Congratulations!!!! Omg that ring is fucking beautiful!!!

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 01:05 AM
I'm sorry this thread got drawn this dirrection. I didn't, anywhere ask for any advice. It was unsolicited, unwarrented, and rude. If anyone has any concerns anything like that, you can pm me. please don't post them here.

I'd really like for people not to "rain on my parade" or for them to at least do it in a pm, and not post it here.

I'd love it if those posters, or a mod, could delete those comments.

Callyish
12-16-2007, 01:07 AM
Im sorry Lola really I didn't mean them to be offensive. Really I am happy for you and I think its wonderful you found a great man. Im sorry you took it the wrong way :(

I deleted the post as you requested.

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 01:27 AM
actually..... I really don't want a mod to delete this. I'm so happy right now. And I don't want to let anything ruin that, not even a tiny bit.

I'm doing what's right for me, no matter what my family or a few people on an internet forum think. I'd rather not have my family attend then marry someone because they "approve" and have a loveless relationship.

Getting married in Vegas is something I, and Rob, both really want. It will be so much more fun, and so much less complicated. I don't want to plan out, or pay for, some redicuosly expensive wedding that is just a stressful event. I'd rather go where everything is taken care of, where I don't need to worry, and just enjoy it with those few people who i really really want to be there.

A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons, I'm not one of them.

I'm lucky to have a second chance at having a real family. My misscarriage was a blessing, a little bit. Now I can have a loving husband and a caring father. I'm doing that all on my own time frame. I don't need to wait, because it's unnecessary. Marriage is the next step for us. Why should we take that step in tiptoes? Because convention tells us to? Because dating for a long time, and having a long engagement leads to a long and successful marrigae? it doesn't. Love, respect, mutual beliefs. that leads to a happy and successful marriage. and it doesn't have to be "slow" to be right

and I don't, at all, feel like I'm moving too fast, or fast at all.

AlexxaHex
12-16-2007, 01:42 AM
I'm sorry you feel like we were being rude, Lola but I can only speak for myself when I say that I just want you to be happy. I'm sure Chrissy feels the same way - of course!
It isn't that conventional ways are the best...I'm obviously not living "conventionally" by any definition, but I think that marriage is a really huge commitment and I didn't have that kind of capability when I was 20 years old. (By the way, I had no idea of your age because you seem to carry yourself with class...which I really always respected about you.) But as mature as anyone is at that age, you just can't determine what life will be like for you at age 40, or 30 for that matter. Love, respect and mutual beliefs are a good starting point but they have no bearing on the ability two people have to live together for the rest of their lives. Two people can grow apart, especially if old wounds are not healed. I think I mentioned this when you first mentioned getting together with Rob. I just wanted you to take the time to heal yourself..and you agreed. Did you honestly do the work? YOu don't have to answer me but answer to yourself most of all. I truly think he's a good person so that's not the issue. I am not going to go any further about what's the issue here since Chrissy already did.

But then again I'm just a person on an internet forum...I thought that once you respected my opinion as I did yours but I understand the way you feel. You're happy to finally belong to someone and you don't want me to ruin your party.

Just don't forget to love yourself first.

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 02:00 AM
It isn't that conventional ways are the best...I'm obviously not living "conventionally" by any definition, but I think that marriage is a really huge commitment and I didn't have that kind of capability when I was 20 years old. (By the way, I had no idea of your age because you seem to carry yourself with class...which I really always respected about you.) .

Thank you. And I don't want to say I'm different then other 20 yr olds, but I am different then othewr people in general. (see next comment).


But as mature as anyone is at that age, you just can't determine what life will be like for you at age 40, or 30 for that matter. .

of course you can't. Any marriage that isn't properly attended to can fal appart, wheather the couple dated for 10 months or 5 years before marrying, whether they were 20 or 35 when they married.

I just feel like if we has been dating for say..... 2 years... before we got engaged/married and if we were both 30ish, none of this would have been posted. That's what bothers me.


. Love, respect and mutual beliefs are a good starting point but they have no bearing on the ability two people have to live together for the rest of their lives. Two people can grow apart, especially if old wounds are not healed. I think I mentioned this when you first mentioned getting together with Rob. I just wanted you to take the time to heal yourself..and you agreed. Did you honestly do the work? YOu don't have to answer me but answer to yourself most of all. .

That's true. I can't think of any indecator though, of a marriages chance of survival. It's a leap of faith people choose to take.

yes. I really really truely did. I fould out a lot about myself, about what i need and want from my life, and I learned a lot about the people I am going to surround myself in. I 100% let go. About a month ago, I meditated on it, and really though about it. I knew I needed to be 100% sure I was healed in my heart. And I am. I healed myself through chat, with friends, swers, councelors..... and with meditation, and writing and visual exercises. I looked deep inside of me, and made sure that would never be an issue.


.

But then again I'm just a person on an internet forum...I thought that once you respected my opinion as I did yours but I understand the way you feel. You're happy to finally belong to someone and you don't want me to ruin your party.

Just don't forget to love yourself first.

I never said I didn't respect your opinion. If my rash comment made you feel that way, I am very sorry. It was not my intention. I was trying to say that I'm getting married because it's right for me, because it fits, and because I believe with all my heart I have found the one i am meant to be with. I shouldn't have made that comment. I adore you, you are one of the poeple I think of most highly on here. I even wrote about you to one of my penpals. I definatly don't want you to think otherwise.

And I don't belong to someone, I belong with someone. We belong with eachother. It was a rough road, on both sides, but we're both so fortunate to have found eachother, and to work to kep eachother, and to be willing to do that forever.

I do love myself, more then I ever imagined i could. I accept me for who i am, and even though i have and recognize my many faults, i appreciate me for what i am, and just try to improve.

britt244
12-16-2007, 02:10 AM
i was going to send this in a pm but decided to just go ahead and post it.

how many people get married at 25, 30, 35, and end up divorced or unhappy? and (not saying it wont work out but just making a point) so WHAT if it does end up not working? if she's happy now why cant she just be happy now? i would rather be happy now than worry about how happy i was going to be 10 or 20 years from now.

as for the family.. um my parents wouldnt be happily married still today if my dad had listened to his mom. my dads side of the family hates my mom and my dad doesnt even keep in contact with them now. and my parents are better off being together and loving each other than my dad spending time with his mother who couldnt be happy because he was happy.

teeth_of_the_hydra
12-16-2007, 02:11 AM
You know, my Grandmommy and Poppy got married right before WWII, when she was 21, he was 25. They stayed together until her death at age 67, and beyond it, in a sense. When he passed away 14 years later, he was still wearing a charm around his neck that she gave him, engraved with the words, "I'll never stop loving you."

So anyway. You guys are young, but whatever. Sometimes you luck out when you're young and don't need to keep searching. I've seen it firsthand; I certainly believe it's possible.

Callyish
12-16-2007, 02:27 AM
I never said I didn't want lola toe happy. I keep saying I WANT her happy.

fuck it I give up. maybe im just some random chick 0n an internet forum who's jealous ::)

Callyish
12-16-2007, 02:32 AM
maybe im more in shock because it just seems like yesterday when her and I were in chat crying about our failed love lives.

anyway im done. lola honestly im sorry I said anything and I truly do wish you the best and I really am happy for you, I have been since the moment I read your post. yes I did have concerns but I had no right to voice them. isorry *steps out of thread for good*

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 02:32 AM
I never said I didn't want lola toe happy. I keep saying I WANT her happy.

fuck it I give up. maybe im just some random chick 0n an internet forum who's jealous ::)

I never even implied that i think you are jealous.

and I explained my comment about "people on an internet forum" in my reply to alexxas post.

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 02:43 AM
maybe im more in shock because it just seems like yesterday when her and I were in chat crying about our failed love lives.

anyway im done. lola honestly im sorry I said anything and I truly do wish you the best and I really am happy for you, I have been since the moment I read your post. yes I did have concerns but I had no right to voice them. isorry *steps out of thread for good*

It was a long time ago. It seems sooooo soooo long to me now especially. Honestly, looking back I don't see why at all. it was a bad relationship. But i didn't know that at the time. :(

thanks cally, I <3 you.

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 02:44 AM
so could we maybe make this back into a happy happy lola thread?

AlexxaHex
12-16-2007, 02:54 AM
so could we maybe make this back into a happy happy lola thread?

Of course - enjoy your life together. Honestly.

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 03:23 AM
it's been a long night. I love everyone on here (unless you're a troll or somefink!), and I'm glad for my sw family.

I am so happy. :)

Chrissy68
12-16-2007, 04:06 AM
and we love you too which is why we say what we do. again, congrats.

leilanicandy
12-16-2007, 05:59 AM
Congrats hun, May your love live and stay for every long. You guys make so much of a cute couple.

mercedez
12-16-2007, 10:37 AM
Congratulations! what a BEAUTIFUL ring!!

Yekhefah
12-16-2007, 10:41 AM
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

BrunetteGoddess
12-16-2007, 11:03 AM
I'm lucky to have a second chance at having a real family. My misscarriage was a blessing, a little bit. Now I can have a loving husband and a caring father. I'm doing that all on my own time frame. I don't need to wait, because it's unnecessary. Marriage is the next step for us. Why should we take that step in tiptoes? Because convention tells us to? Because dating for a long time, and having a long engagement leads to a long and successful marrigae? it doesn't. Love, respect, mutual beliefs. that leads to a happy and successful marriage. and it doesn't have to be "slow" to be right

and I don't, at all, feel like I'm moving too fast, or fast at all.

Good for you. Only you and Rob know what the right time frame for relationship steps is in your relationship.

Everyone says R and I rushed into things, but I really could care less. We're happy and coming up on 2 years of marriage next month.

Congrats again Lola, and I will send more well wishes through my next PP letter :)

Mastridonicus
12-16-2007, 11:07 AM
Can I still marry your right ankle?! I WAS HERE FIRST!

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 11:32 AM
Good for you. Only you and Rob know what the right time frame for relationship steps is in your relationship.

Everyone says R and I rushed into things, but I really could care less. We're happy and coming up on 2 years of marriage next month.

Congrats again Lola, and I will send more well wishes through my next PP letter :)

:hug:

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 11:33 AM
Can I still marry your right ankle?! I WAS HERE FIRST!

ok. but only the right one! don't you be getting thoughts about the left one..... I'm on to you!

TheSexKitten
12-16-2007, 11:41 AM
Honestly, I am very optimistic about this marriage! You seem to have very stable and steady expectations for what you are expecting. You know what your family will do, and you are making a conscious decision to follow your heart. Also, you are very family-oriented, and I think marriage in general is a good option for you.

A really sweet story that I LOVE is one that my 10th grade European History teacher told to the class... she was about 64 at the time, and she and her husband met when she was 19 and he was 21. They went on like... 3 dates, got married, moved in together, and they're still together and HAPPILY (that's the important thing, right?)! They've been through lots of rough financial spots but they emerged with each other and two beautiful, intelligent daughters.

I think I'm on an estrogen trip recently. :heartbeat

Mastridonicus
12-16-2007, 11:55 AM
ok. but only the right one! don't you be getting thoughts about the left one..... I'm on to you!

Well the left one keeps making passes... and the right one is old news now....

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 12:18 PM
Honestly, I am very optimistic about this marriage! You seem to have very stable and steady expectations for what you are expecting. You know what your family will do, and you are making a conscious decision to follow your heart. Also, you are very family-oriented, and I think marriage in general is a good option for you.

A really sweet story that I LOVE is one that my 10th grade European History teacher told to the class... she was about 64 at the time, and she and her husband met when she was 19 and he was 21. They went on like... 3 dates, got married, moved in together, and they're still together and HAPPILY (that's the important thing, right?)! They've been through lots of rough financial spots but they emerged with each other and two beautiful, intelligent daughters.

I think I'm on an estrogen trip recently. :heartbeat

Thanks. I really think we're going to be one of those happy couples who 50 years later, even though life is rough sometimes, are still as happy and as in love as the day they were married. :heartbeat I agree that I'm the married type. It's like wanting children, some people are just more into it then others.

and that is a beautiful story, thank you for sharing it! I know a lot of people like that, and it's amazing.

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 12:19 PM
Well the left one keeps making passes... and the right one is old news now....

hey!

bad mast!!!!! :bullwhip:

Hatshepsut
12-16-2007, 12:28 PM
I promise that I'm not raining on your parade, just a bit of humor.

Since you're having a bit of a run-in with the in-laws, allow me to inform you of our old family recipe called Mother-in-law punch.

1 oz Everclear
1 glass of fruit juice.

Mix and drink. This will allow you to stand Mother-in-Law.


On a more positive note, may I continue to be nosy and ask which goals and objectives you have in common? Obviously, you guys want to bear and raise children and grow old together.

kaiarose
12-16-2007, 12:49 PM
YAY! Congrats! Some more happiness to go around SW! Maybe 2008 will be a good year ladies :)

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 12:52 PM
, just a bit of humor.

Since you're having a bit of a run-in with the in-laws, allow me to inform you of our old family recipe called Mother-in-law punch.

1 oz Everclear
1 glass of fruit juice.

Mix and drink. This will allow you to stand Mother-in-Law.


On a more positive note, may I continue to be nosy and ask which goals and objectives you have in common? Obviously, you guys want to bear and raise children and grow old together.

hah! good one! lol. but so far, since I haven't even met her, i don't need it.... yet!

you may indeed ask!

We plan on buying a home in 2008. Our lease is up in September, so either before or around that time. Hopefully also around that time he'll be making enough at work to support me, so I can be a stay at home mom. His company is very big on internal advancement, (he's getting a pretty great raise at the end of this month!) and raises, so we think it's a do-able timeline. I may work a part time job, maybe nanny-ing again, while we're trying and before our first child is born. He has an asociates degree, and his company has a program where they'll pay for tuition for him to finish (as long as it's business oriented) so he's considering that, just taking 1-3 classes at a time so he's not too overwhelmed. I'd like him to do that, but a degree isn't necessary for him to have a very well paying job, so it's up to him. I want to finish my doula training (in postpartum care for now, maybe labor later), and get certified to teach the bradley method of childbirth. So I won't really be a sahm, I'll probably work 10-15 or less hours a week, and bring in a *little* money. Those are all things where it'd be acceptable for me to have a baby along, or at least where i would only be away for a little bit of time. We are so excited for me to be able to stop dancing and be a mommy, and do things that are really fulfilling for me. He's such a good man, and is so excited for us. We also want to homeschool our children. We have common values, we're both very family-centric. It would be so great for us,and we'd be so happy, to just have a simple, loving, caring life. Nothing huge or anything, just that :)

We still have a lot of things we aren't sure about that, but it's ok. He has always lived in this area, and would maybe like to move someday, I would prefer to stay here. He's not as...... i dunno how to say it....... naturalistic..... as I am, but he's willing to learn and he's so supportive (although I think I freaked him out a bit the other day when I mentioned tandem nursing!). He's the realistic one, I'm the dreamer. We compliment eachother so well.

He'd someday like to own his own business, and I think he'd be really good at it. After we're done making babies, and our children are older, I'd maybe like to become a midwife. All of that is for someday though, we'll see.

He will be a fantasic father and provider, supporter and best friend. I hope to be an excellent mother and wife, supporter and best friend for him.

Writing this our made me cry! I'm such a sap :)

AlexxaHex
12-16-2007, 12:57 PM
I think you will be a great midwife and mother, Lola. Those are all very do-able goals.

hardkandee
12-16-2007, 12:58 PM
With all I've read on here about how happy you and Rob are, it seems bashert. :) I wish you two the best, especially because it is so much harder when you are young. (I've often thought about getting married in Vegas, (and the bf is also a non-Jew) but I really want a beautiful chuppah! If you happen to find some place in Vegas with pretty ones, do share.

Oh, and even if you keep the wedding hush hush, do let us know where you are, if you are, registered.

ColetteCalahan
12-16-2007, 12:59 PM
HOLY CRAP!! I am just seeing this now... uhh, DURRR...????

COngratulations, lola!!!! i am so excited for you... this is wonderful news, and we all expect PICS GALORE!!! (btw, you guys are so freaking cute together!)

Lola Rose
12-16-2007, 01:09 PM
I think you will be a great midwife and mother, Lola. Those are all very do-able goals.

Thank you. :) I'm sort of squemish, but i <3 the birth shows on tv. I can't wait to attend real births. I'm hoping being a doula will be the baby step, before I get my hands all messy! lol.


With all I've read on here about how happy you and Rob are, it seems bashert. :) I wish you two the best, especially because it is so much harder when you are young. (I've often thought about getting married in Vegas, (and the bf is also a non-Jew) but I really want a beautiful chuppah! If you happen to find some place in Vegas with pretty ones, do share.

Oh, and even if you keep the wedding hush hush, do let us know where you are, if you are, registered.

Thanks! We're not going to get married under a chuppah though, we're getting married here: The sky will be our chuppah! :)

I'll let you know about a registry. I hadn't even thought of it till now!

Pamela
12-16-2007, 01:10 PM
Lola I should have responded sooner.

I am SOOO happy for you hun.

Best wishes. ;)