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Alaska
12-17-2007, 01:36 PM
^LMAO Glamazon, that's how I felt the first 3 attempts...


Maybe he's making up for penis size. Well it worked! I just gotta get used to ...staring at....the size alone......

amazing, isn't it, that the paragraphs ("ALL SAY THE SAME FREAKING THING")!!!")




Okay. I've really decided to let him go, now. It just is not fair to me in my own lil life!! The $$ amount is seriously not worth it, and honestly kind of paltry for a sc situation. At the same time, I've only danced in ABQ 2.5 months and only at one club, but he is still the first guy to be a spending reg....that says something about this place.

So now I just gotta do it. Via e-mail.

I told him I'd be back mid-Jan. which is mostly true. He wasn't freaking me out till this e-mail. Omg, and I am not trying to sound big and bad, but next to this skelaton I sure would be. I really doubt he'd become violent, and believe it or not, I do think he is well-intentioned, even with this e-mail.

A sick part of me wants to see some experiments where guys have made it to age 30 and still a virgin w no relationship history, and see what they become....

AudreyLeigh
12-17-2007, 01:41 PM
A sick part of me wants to see some experiments where guys have made it to age 30 and still a virgin w no relationship history, and see what they become....

Buy him a copy of "40 year old virgin" and give it to him next time he comes into the club?!

Scarlett.Oz
12-17-2007, 02:05 PM
This reminds me soooo much of a letter I sent my mum years ago. It was supposed to be a recipe for apple crumble (maybe 2 paragraphs tops) and was a rambling five page psycho extravaganza written in cursive in the height of my speed addiction.
Much nervous giggling when she pulled that one out.

That said, I don't think he's high, It's probably just the closest he's come to a real woman since his mama and he's a leeettle over excited, men are much like children alot of the time. Maybe he needs the stripper client relationship explained to him, or re-explained to him, firmly.

XXXS

RandomUser
12-17-2007, 02:16 PM
Old girlfriend used to tell me if I sent her a letter that weighed more than a postage stamp she would throw it away without reading it. Relationship is over at that point. This guy is deep sixed out of the chute.

I read two lines of this guys email, looked at the length of it and it made me uncomfortable. Lol You ladies deal with this better than I do. Either send him a form letter like above or re enforce in him that you only want him around for his money. If he intrudes, hire a big bad boyfriend to scare him.

242_fair
12-17-2007, 02:46 PM
If I understand correctly, he is spending ALL his money on you.

He is not rich, just pathetic, and he will turn psycho if he feels you lead him on.

Even if he looks harmless that can be a lot more trouble that it's worth.

Lest we forget... Bianca

Mastridonicus
12-17-2007, 04:36 PM
Jeeze. Write a stripper you like an honest letter, and get hung out to dry...

It just hurts that you didn't even spend the time to READ it all :'(

Alaska
12-17-2007, 04:42 PM
hmm okay Mast, thanks for that weird POV!

I read it eventually......but what would you think if a strange girl did the same to you? One that was totally fugly and a virgin? (ps looks wouldn't matter to me at this point, if it was 242_fair's white knight with his snow shovel, I'd still feel the same. )even IRL, forget sc life?


Part of me felt bad putting it up there initially, but for fuck's sake, I decided this shit is flat out uncomfortable and I honestly needed some advice.


A letter is one thing, but a 2,054 letter novel? Are you sure Mast?

Mastridonicus
12-17-2007, 04:44 PM
I'm just saying. I put a LOT of thought into that e-mail...why would you emasculate me so?!

*runs away crying*

Alaska
12-17-2007, 04:46 PM
Because I noticed you have gained 3 pounds and you need to lose it! You know you need that swift kick in the ass bones! (emaciate....emasculate....yanno?)

OdysseusNJ
12-17-2007, 04:58 PM
Jeez Mast, everyone knows the trick is to make it 4000 words and PUT IT IN CIPHER, cmon man get with the program.

StellarGirl5792
12-17-2007, 05:02 PM
haven't read it all yet..but holy crap at the length

{edit} I couldn't even read the whole thing. My eyes hurt have way through. He sure like to CAPITALIZE and use !s.

But can we say "obsession". He sounds a lil scary.

Alaska
12-17-2007, 05:03 PM
um HO-ly shit.....what a dorkus malorkus I am....got all serious on mah boy Mast! I need a CrankyNapTM

MsQwerty
12-17-2007, 06:14 PM
Bloody'ell, I couldnt finnish it either!
I dont know that I think the guy is wierd, he just strikes me as being boring and not very confident. It seems to me that youve helped him build his confidence a bit and are possibly the first woman in a long time, possibly EVER (heh, sorry, had to do that,) thats ever sat down and chatted with him.
Let the poor soul down gently (-:

Mastridonicus
12-17-2007, 06:17 PM
Jeez Mast, everyone knows the trick is to make it 4000 words and PUT IT IN CIPHER, cmon man get with the program.

What's the first rule of StripperWeb?

Mast is a stupid shit.

The second rule of StripperWeb?

Don't talk about StripperWeb.

Joplin
12-17-2007, 06:22 PM
DAMN! I started reading it, but all the "quotations", CAPITALIZATION and ! annoyed the hell out of me. The I started to scroll down and was shocked. You know this guy probably typed and erased and typed again to make it perfect. I bet it took him hours!
As long as he pays for your time then I suppose he'd be worth it, but damn, what a talker!

OdysseusNJ
12-17-2007, 06:23 PM
What's the first rule of StripperWeb?

Mast is a stupid shit.

The second rule of StripperWeb?

Don't talk about StripperWeb.

I am Mast's raging email duct.

cherryripeboy
12-17-2007, 07:59 PM
Can we start a de-virginizing fund?

RoseWhite
12-17-2007, 08:13 PM
I am Mast's raging email duct.

:rotfl:

I am Mast's complete lack of surprise.

lestat1
12-17-2007, 09:14 PM
Nope, couldn't read it all. From what I did read, he sounded extremely desperate and socially inexperienced, but not creepy/stalker/psycho-like. You never know though, he could snap. I feel sorry for the guy, but at the end of the day your safety and business come first.

All it takes is a few bad years during one's developmental periods, and this is the result. It's such a downward spiral of a problem. Odds on whether he'll kill himself within the next ten years? 1 in 5? :-\

Paris
12-17-2007, 09:50 PM
Why did that email make me think of this movie scene (http://youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk&feature=related)?

OdysseusNJ
12-17-2007, 09:57 PM
Why did that email make me think of this ?

Oh yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck! I couldn't watch that scene. I tried watching that movie a while back and I don't think I even finished the movie. Oh god, I was so embarassed just watching him be such a PL, ugh ugh ugh. I have this weird thing with movies sometimes, watching a character who is that awkward or pathetic makes me extremely anxious. It's bizarre I know, some kind of weird hyper retarded empathy thing, but even just the 5 seconds there before I closed the youtube window gave me bad tingly feelings.

Some days though I don't have it at all. For instance I liked There's Something About Mary but couldn't finish Meet The Parents, despite them both hinging on that kind of humor. What a weirdo I am.

Well at least I keep my emails nicely trimmed.

Paris
12-17-2007, 10:02 PM
^^I didn't like the movie, either. But just about every woman who has met a guy at a bar can relate to that scene. For that one reason, it is priceless.;)

jhuka
12-17-2007, 10:17 PM
My impression of it, Alaska, is that the guy is putting his soul on the page. For whatever reasons, he's not been able to do this with others in the past and something you've said has made him decide to trust you with all of this, and to assure you that he's the one guy YOU can trust to be interested in YOUR soul. He is looking for an exchange on this level, and his heart is completely in it. You won't be able to deliver that, I don't think--(believe me, he already has a house picked out for the two of you, and he's trying to figure out how he'll support you right up til retirement), it would be better to be honest about it now, fast, and not nurture the thing along. If someone this deeply fallen into a woman begins to get the feeling that he only has value as potential income, many things could happen, most of them not good. I think if he begins to cling, Lucky's advice about making up a boyfriend who is a Navy Seal has a lot of merit.

I ran into a problem similar to this once. I'm an author, so I'm often in the public. I gave my e-mail to a woman, thinking she was a nice lady (quite a bit older than me, and also, like this guy, haunted looking) and the next thing I knew I was getting e-mails of this length, also with capitalized letters saying WE WILL BE TOGETHER--over and over again, and more of this kind of stuff with each e-mail. It got pretty wild. It probably wasn't too smart of me, but I proposed a meeting in a public place and told her I was overwhelmed with what she'd sent me...she broke down crying, saying that she'd just been through a divorce and had alcohol problems, and just realized I'd be a guy she could talk to. I told her--which was true--that I wasn't looking for a relationship, and we were able, afterward, to be friends. I don't know if you would have such a good outcome here--I just don't know the guy. But the wisdom of the SW women here is what I would lean toward: might as well treat it carefully, like it could be a potential problem. The length of the e-mail alone--that he is so in his own world that he is not considering that perhaps it is overwhelming you--is a warning bell in itself.

Sorry about the long post. This one concerns me quite a bit. Let us know how it goes.

GentlemanX
12-17-2007, 10:41 PM
He sounds like he is really desperate to get laid and is thus going to tremendous effort instead of just playing it cool. Totally clueless. He could be dangerous but the OP says she doesn't think so which leads me to believe that he is just desperately trying to get some. At 32 I think he probably idealizes relationships and has a habit of fixating on one unattainable person, in this case a dancer. At 32 you would think he would just hire a call girl or something. I mean, I couldn't imagine not having had sex ever for 32 years. That will totally fuck up your ability to communicate with the opposite sex.

jhuka
12-17-2007, 10:48 PM
I have to admit--Gentleman X makes me think of it--I do wonder about this story that he's never had sex. It seems to suggest a naive character and I wonder if this is really what he is, or if he is saying it to evoke sympathy, hoping Alaska will somehow be the one to take pity on him and "rescue him" -- another reason I would be careful about this, Alaska...I have my doubts about this part of the story, and it might indicate a more manipulative character than you originally thought. I sure wouldn't be meeting him alone anywhere.

blayze
12-17-2007, 11:31 PM
you could, if you want, shoot him a reply back saying you dont regularly check your email (he doesnt have to know if you do or not) and that when you do, you dont have a lot of time, so any emails in the future should be short and not time sensative, so as not to hurt his feelings by not calling/emailing back by the time his proposed otc meeting is or whatever. also mention that while you dont have time to read the entire thing right now, you will do it when you get a round 2-it.

(i got one of those once, at the worlds deepest hand dug well in greensboro, ks! its a little wooden coin that has 2-it stamped on it!)(sorry for the random interjection)

lol at parenthesis. this may extended his regular shelf life, while also letting him know gently that that particular sort of behavior is not acceptable to you. Then, when you return from your vacation, see how things go.

if you do choose to email him back, dont reply to every email, just shoot him something short and acknowledge his emails and invite him back to the club to see you sometime every week or every other week or whatever.

jaizaine
12-18-2007, 01:41 AM
This really pisses me off. He kinda sounds like my PL regular.

Why do these douches think that they are the only guy who has ever appreciated us for more than our bodies? He made a whole paragraph out of the fact that he sees you for more than just your hot body unlike all the other guys. WTF dude how would he know this? It's funny how after meeting u in a SC he thinks he has the right to try to convince u that he is not like all the other guys.

You should cut him loose. That letter is just frightening and he sounds like a stalker type. He could be planning to loose his virginity to you LOL

Kaylinn
12-18-2007, 02:08 AM
Sorry...Am I the only one who saw dollar signs when i read that?
This man is practicially begging to be bled dry.

Alaska
12-19-2007, 01:09 AM
Jhuka that post was awesome and def not too long! I love what you write.

Jaizaine you hit that shit on the head directly. EXACTLY!!

Kaylinn, lmao, so true. But hey, I decided this is way 2 weird for ABQ ballin' levels.



Ha! Okay dudes. The following is what I will send him once I can confirm for a fact that the name in my e-mail is successfully changed.






Hey Joe,

Okay. I just want to be straight up with you.

First of all, that e-mail was way too long. Like, freak-somebody-out long.


But most importantly, if you couldn't already tell, I am not interested in a relationship of any kind, even a friendship that begins with meeting you where I met you. I'm sure you can understand this.

Please know that I like you very much, and hope you will not "get your hopes up" and continue to see me for some good old fashioned lapdances. But connection or not, there is no way I would ever meet you outside of the club. Not now, not a year from now.


It would mean the world to me if you would understand.


Thanks!

~Autumn




(What ya'll think?)

jhuka
12-19-2007, 07:29 AM
Just my two cents here, Alaska--I wonder if you might want to change this to "I can't meet you outside of the club--these are just rules I've set for myself" or something like this...my reason is that, after reading his letter, where he pours his soul out, I wouldn't give any sense of "there is no way I would meet YOU" ie, something that he would interpret as a rejection of his soul. I know if worse comes to worse you just have to lay down the law, but right now I would make it sound as if you've set up a code for yourself, for your own protection, and in addition to this you are not looking for a relationship (all kind of true, I think, right?) The more lighthearted stuff is probably good "good old-fashioned lapdances..." because it gives him a chance to retreat with some humor and dignity. Ultimately, I DON'T want the guy to come back for lapdances, because the more I think about it I don't trust him, but I think your best strategy is to ease it down with the idea that you've simply set boundaries for yourself and cannot be in a relationship, and otherwise try to handle it with friendly humor. Hope that all makes some sense.

Whew. Human beings--especially like this guy--are complicated creatures. I would like to see you get out of this with a minimum of backwash.

saphire123456
12-19-2007, 11:47 AM
whoa, that was like an essay...imo he's like that glue
(crazy)

All Good Things
12-19-2007, 02:25 PM
I knew guys like that existed, I'd just never actually seen one in the wild. :O

In the SC zoo, he's a prime occupant of the "hopelessly and pathetically deluded, psychotic and psychopathic PL" cage. This cage is in the middle of the "Drain 'em Dry" section of the zoo, BTW.

A couple of proposed edits on your e-mail so you won't need to install 12 dead-bolt locks on your door. Please feel free to use or discard:

"Please know that I like you very much as a person inside the club, and above all it's my earnest and genuine desire that you waste no time at all in "getting your hopes up," and continue to see me for some good old-fashioned lap dances. Because that's just not going to happen. But connection or not, there is no way I would ever meet you outside the club. Not now, not a year from now, and under no circumstances whatsoever.

Bella21
12-19-2007, 03:08 PM
Haha! I got a letter like that once, like, YEARS ago... I still have it. It's like, 10 pages long and goes on and on about how I should go to his church and similar things to what YOUR PL wrote. I plan to keep it until it disinegrates. Stuff like that is too good to throw away!

Chrissy68
12-19-2007, 04:23 PM
Anyway, now this message is getting kind of long, but ALL I'm trying to say is: I really like you!

9th paragraph down, i'd say that's an understatement, dood. ;D

Katrine
12-19-2007, 05:55 PM
Alaska, your email was perfect as is. Don't try to pussify it in any way! He won't come after you, but this will give him a clue!

Sand
12-19-2007, 06:34 PM
Kaylinn is my new idol T.T

ions
12-19-2007, 07:03 PM
JPlease know that I like you very much,

(What ya'll think?)

I think you should leave that line out. Too much for him to grab onto.

Chrissy68
12-20-2007, 12:06 AM
i'd personalyl say something along the lines of "i dont know you well enough, and we'll have to keep the relationship we have inside of the club".. worked with several regs for me for as long as a year. i dont like telling him that you wont even have a friendship. friendship is a loose term anywyas.

TheTempest
12-21-2007, 07:55 PM
Well at least I keep my emails nicely trimmed.

Oh man, I call bullshit on that one! I've received e-mails from you. :-P


And while I would agree with everyone that this guy is begging to be bled dry...he just doesn't seem to have any money. I would have to feel sort of bad because he spent all his rent money. Yet that's his own choice and his own fault.

Still, if he had a better job I'd be more apt to jump on the "take his cash" bandwagon. :)

paintgoddess
12-21-2007, 08:46 PM
Still, if he had a better job I'd be more apt to jump on the "take his cash" bandwagon. :)

^^^I'd feel a little guilt. But is it criminal to lead him on and take his money? Eh... who knows! Just think of it this way... if you keep him coming into the club to see you... it's kind of like community service. You're giving a poor loser something to live for. THAT way you don't have to feel guilty about taking his rent money. He IS a consenting adult making his own decisions... if he goes broke for you and doesn't end up with you... well... maybe that's the only way this sincere, albeit delusional guy will learn!

Also.. what about the "my computer died" excuse... or the "I haven't had time to check my email" excuse?

the_dfb
12-21-2007, 08:53 PM
I have acquired myself a person truly worthy of the title ULTIMATE PL.


He is deathly skinny, like %100 bones, and a virgin. REALLY. yes.


But he's always been super polite, averagely intelligent even, and not yet exhibiting signs of mental illness.

I've been working @ this club 2.5 months and he's the first one in forever I've decided to give my e-mail to. WELL. First I get 14 different fwd's, like everything he's ever been forwarded in his life, and then the following e-mail.

You don't have to read the contents but.....look at the sheeeeer voluuuuumeee.

What would you do?


I would hit the delete button like WHAT. then, I would tell him to lose my mail address.

GnBeret
12-21-2007, 09:03 PM
... But he's... not yet exhibiting signs of mental illness.

Um, are we reading the same e-mail? Like Hell he's not! Based on the way you've described his behavior and his e-mail, he's exhibiting more than enough warning signs of being the kind of person that becomes so severely obsessed/fixated on someone that you should already be concerned about 'run of the mill' / 'typical' type stalking activities when you try to cut things off with him.


... What would you do?

As gracefully and tactfully as possible, shut everything down with him as quickly, firmly and completely as possible. And, while I don't mean to unecessarily alarm you, 'better safe than sorry,' so to speak - meaning, watch out for him for awhile.

OdysseusNJ
12-21-2007, 10:29 PM
Oh man, I call bullshit on that one! I've received e-mails from you. :-P


Compared to this guy I'm Silent Bob.

twisterinAZ
12-21-2007, 10:41 PM
My first thought reading this email was RUN ! Far away ! Totally psycho. I think your email is good but I like the suggestion of saying something along the lines of "these are the rules I have set for myself." He seems crazy enough already so I would try not to rub him the wrong way. People like this could snap like a postal worker.

MeganR
12-26-2007, 02:40 AM
Alaska, your response looks very good. Here's how I'd revise it just a bit -- but you've got a better feel for how he'll react than I do, obviously, so feel free to ignore my suggestions.


Hey Joe,

Okay. I just want to be straight up with you.

First of all, that e-mail was way too long. Like, freak-somebody-out long.

More importantly, I am not interested in developing a relationship with you outside the club -- not even as friends. (Not just you. That applies to anyone I meet in the club.) I'm sure you can understand this.

Please know that I appreciate you very much as a customer. You're always understanding and respectful and kind, and it means a lot to me. But I don't want you to get your hopes up, so I must be honest with you and tell you I will not ever meet you outside the club.

I do hope that you understand, and that you will continue to see me for some good old fashioned lap dances.

Thanks!

~Autumn

anelia
12-26-2007, 05:02 AM
augh.

just disturbing.

i have no advice. eegh.

Miaowren
12-26-2007, 12:44 PM
Has he been to jail perhaps?? (That would (possibly??) be a non-crazy explanation for the length)

Sorry if somebody's already said that. I actually read that rambling bunch of hot cock - and now I'm too tired...

Alaska
01-06-2008, 04:52 PM
I just wanted to give you an update...part of me feels a lil bad reposting his stuff, but ....


In case you're wondering, I DID read that last email that you sent me, and I am SO sorry if I was "freaking you out" or anything like that with its length and intensity!! I went and did exactly what I was hoping NOT to do.... I didn't mean to imply anything by it, I am just a very passionate person about life in general, so I can get very deep into thought about things. Anyway, sorry again about being so forward; I'll REALLY conciously try to not let it happen again! I just feel that you are a person that is worth getting to know GRADUALLY as a FRIEND, because I think your personality is really cool and enjoyable to talk to and be around! I would still mean this even if I had met you somewhere else such as while shopping at Wal-Mart, reading at the library, or WHEREVER. It doesn't matter to me what you do; I just like you as a person. So, yes, I WILL still occasionally come in to the club and see you if this is the only way you're comfortable with. I enjoy talking to you regardless of where it is! Of course I may WISH that it was on a more private and one-on-one level outside the club, but I totally understand if you don't want to do that. (I guess emails will work too, for that matter!)

Anyway, before THIS message gets too long ALSO, I will just say that I hope you have a very enjoyable Christmas with your folks, and I'll see you again at the club sometime in January after you get back from your trip.



Thanks everyone for advice about my response! I think Megan R. said it the best, but I sent it out like a few hours after I wrote it, but....hey. It went well!

OdysseusNJ
01-06-2008, 05:14 PM
Glad to see it turned out well, hope your trip back to NM was cool.

\m/ Jersey SW!! \m/

Sand
01-06-2008, 05:45 PM
WHY does he KEEP writing like that ? Ugh.