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britt244
01-03-2008, 12:44 AM
i can't drink red bull or any kind of energy drink anymore. it's like a panic attack in a can :(

i used to drink 2 on the half hour drive to work at hooters. now, if i drink one, my anxiety shoots through the roof. i still do sometimes, though, because im trying to get them back in my system.

tonight wasn't good. i have that acid reflux-y feeling ive talked about before. i felt very on the verge of a panic attack all the time. i wish i would just HAVE the damn attacks instead of always feeling like one was coming.

Katrine
01-03-2008, 10:39 AM
I feel paralyzed right now, I can't leave the house. I have to get to work. Oh gawd, fucking gawd. Even my cats are really pissing me off, I need stillness.

Svelt
01-03-2008, 12:05 PM
Sign me up for night terrors and the occasional panic attack.

Night terrors - waking every hour freaked out about something. Most recent attack, not frequent thank god, woke convinced I was gonna jump off the balcony. Curled up in the bathtub, which is as far as I could get from the balcony, and was finally able to sleep again.

Syrran
01-03-2008, 01:04 PM
I've had anxiety and panic disorder since I was six years old. I went from paxil to effexor and now I'm having that suplimented with welbutrin ( which by the way DOESN'T effect your sex drive like the others do) Off medication I get two or three hour long attacks with about half hour breaks inbetween from when I wake up until I go to sleep. It sucks.


The worst one I've had in a while was probably my first night dancing when I got home. My whole body was shuddering because I couldn't handle the transition from the club to my home where my cats and boyfriend were. I couldn't even sleep in the bed that night I had to lie on the couch.

veronicavale
01-03-2008, 02:32 PM
I went to the doctor today because I coudn't wait til Monday. A girl I know committed suicide last night and I feel like if I don't get help that could be me... scary. So he gave me a script for celexa, which I've taken before and it worked wonders. I feel kinda weak willed or something for needing the meds. I'm also nervous about taking that first dose, because I remember being sick to my stomach for the first week or so. But I think I'd rather feel like crap for a week than feel like this for the rest of my life!!!

Pamela--I think you said your daughter is on celexa. If so, what's her dose and what are her side effects like? I think I remember the stomachache and extreme sweatiness from my experience, but I might be confusing it with the time I took buspar...

Pamela
01-03-2008, 06:34 PM
I went to the doctor today because I coudn't wait til Monday. A girl I know committed suicide last night and I feel like if I don't get help that could be me... scary. So he gave me a script for celexa, which I've taken before and it worked wonders. I feel kinda weak willed or something for needing the meds. I'm also nervous about taking that first dose, because I remember being sick to my stomach for the first week or so. But I think I'd rather feel like crap for a week than feel like this for the rest of my life!!!

Pamela--I think you said your daughter is on celexa. If so, what's her dose and what are her side effects like? I think I remember the stomachache and extreme sweatiness from my experience, but I might be confusing it with the time I took buspar...

Her bottle is in her purse with her. She's been on it a week? Or close now. No side effects for her! I was on it once as well. It made my mouth dry for a short time and that went away. Hope you do well.
PS she is a tiny thing...i was there with her i think he put her on the lowest once daily and he will up it if needed. 10mg once daily i think...That's a guess.

Darcy Foxx
01-03-2008, 10:55 PM
meh... having a really bad day. had a photo shoot this morning and was feeling a little anxious during it but it passed, and it was fun. then i got home and decided to take a nap on the couch.

i'd only been asleep for 20 mins max when i awoke suddenly in the middle of a severe attack, feeling almost paralysed with fear and i was hit with such an intense wave of nausea that i actually thought i was gonna vomit. i've never woken up in a panic attack before. but for some reason it happened today, and i woke up with the thought in my head, "oh my god. i'm pregnant." so i ran straight to the pharmacy, and i've taken three tests, and all said negative so i'm pretty sure i'm not pregnant.

it was so fucking weird... i have no idea where that thought came from (especially considering i've had my period since i last had sex) but i was in sheer terror and almost went and sat next to the toilet cos i thought i was about to vomit any second.

now i feel shakey and nauseas and horrible. don't wanna work tonight :'(

Syrran
01-04-2008, 09:11 AM
I forgot to add I have acid reflux and for some reason every time I have heartburn I panic. Does that happen to anyone else?

stellaforstars
01-04-2008, 09:38 AM
Having an anxiety attack right now...It's been going on since I woke up this morning...My whole body is shaking and it just got to the point that I'm having a hard time breathing...That probably means it's time to sign off SW...

britt244
01-04-2008, 10:48 AM
I forgot to add I have acid reflux and for some reason every time I have heartburn I panic. Does that happen to anyone else?

i've been told that acid reflux actually is one of the symptoms of anxiety. i get it when i get anxious.

Pamela
01-04-2008, 10:54 AM
I forgot to add I have acid reflux and for some reason every time I have heartburn I panic. Does that happen to anyone else?

Sure. With stomache acids pushing up it can get tough to get proper air at times. People who have asthma and get Acid Reflux often have an asthma attack.

Many can burp and bring some of that crap up, spit it out.

Darcy Foxx
01-04-2008, 11:54 AM
what exactly does acid reflux feel like??

britt244
01-04-2008, 11:55 AM
^ for me personally, i feel like i have icy hot in my throat. when i breathe in, it isnt exactly painful but it's uncomfortable. right where my throat meets my chest. but i think what i have, that's caused by anxiety, is different than typical acid reflux.

Darcy Foxx
01-04-2008, 11:59 AM
hmm, okay. cos my anxiety gives me this weird hot tingly feeling in my throat/chest sometimes, and i can't swallow properly and i have to take lots of deep breaths. does that sound like acid reflux?

britt244
01-04-2008, 12:15 PM
hmm, okay. cos my anxiety gives me this weird hot tingly feeling in my throat/chest sometimes, and i can't swallow properly and i have to take lots of deep breaths. does that sound like acid reflux?

that sounds like what i get. whether its acid reflux or not, i'm not sure.

Syrran
01-04-2008, 03:02 PM
Mine starts in my stomach with a kind of tingly burning sensation and then slowly rises up my esophagus. I've had it so bad that I took a whole thing of tums( not the big container the roll), and had ice all over my chest and I HATE the cold. It's much better now though.

cameron_keys
01-04-2008, 03:03 PM
For me, acid reflux feels like acid...burning acid coming up from my stomach and settling into my chest and throat. Taking a Prilosec, eating something with carbs(like a piece of bread) to soak up the acid and drinking COLD water(NOT milk..people used to drink milk because it coated and made them feel better, but it ultimately makes it worse because milk has lactic ACID in it) makes it better.

britt244
01-04-2008, 03:11 PM
im feeling very antsy. i dont know if i should sleep or take a bath to relax before work. i need to be able to do well at work tonight. i usually can work though it, but i still hate it all the same.

RoseLeigh
01-04-2008, 03:40 PM
hmm, okay. cos my anxiety gives me this weird hot tingly feeling in my throat/chest sometimes, and i can't swallow properly and i have to take lots of deep breaths. does that sound like acid reflux?

I've had something like this before the burpy/acid feeling starts. I take some Pepcid or eat some icecream (I know it's milk, but in small doses I feel better)

cameron_keys
01-04-2008, 04:00 PM
Sometimes when the acid is really bad..I make myself throw up. Bad I know...but it feels SO much better to get all that churning acid out of my system

veronicavale
01-04-2008, 05:06 PM
I took 10mg celexa last night for the first time in a year... it felt kinda like I was rolling. But this morning I felt fine, if not a little bit spacey and tired. I really think it was smart of me to go to the doctor! Given all I've been going through, I just want relief. And on a positive note, generic celexa is $4 at wal-mart and my doctor's visit for same day care was only $60!

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 12:42 AM
ugh so nauseas and shaky right now. its so ridiculously fucking hot in my house and that makes it worse...

got an appointment with my psychiatrist on tuesday. havent seen him for over a month so im looking forward to it.

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 04:22 AM
wow. tonight it took me 15 minutes of being inside the club before i had a complete meltdown and ended up crying hysterically and hyperventilating in the dressing room. obviously i'm home now...

cameron_keys
01-05-2008, 05:15 AM
so puked my guts up over the tire thing(see random)

believe i will again b4 i isleep

Lysondra
01-05-2008, 07:00 AM
Holy shit... panicking. Panicking a lot. Omg panick...hi panick....help....omg....heart attack? Shitshitshit... I ruin everything.... :(

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 07:01 AM
it's odd how a big group of us seem to be going through a phase of extreme panic at the same time.

Lysondra
01-05-2008, 07:04 AM
Yes... extreme...panic.. all of us... hold me. :( I wish you were here.. we could hold eachother. Maybe it's the holidays... maybe it's because I'm a fuckup... I'm freaking out because my bed isn't 'flat' (my word for made)..omg I'm typing SO fast....geezus...fraking...if I keep typing it'll go away...keep tying...sht make the bed already.... aahahahhh

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 07:08 AM
its a shame we don't have longer arms, then we could hug :(

i was crying hysterically at work tonight and couldn't breathe, i looked like i had some kind of skin disease because i broke out into such a bad stress rash on my chest and neck.

blaaaah i hate being crazy :(

Lysondra
01-05-2008, 07:10 AM
You'd hug me? Really? :hug: That makes me feel calmer already; just knowing someone is there to hug me. <3

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 07:12 AM
i would totally hug you. i'd even cuddle.

Lysondra
01-05-2008, 07:14 AM
I'm calming down now. Thanks so much Darcy. One of my main fears lately is that everyone hates me and I'm this huge fuckup and that I'm all alone. Just knowing there's SOMEONE out there that'd be there for me makes me feel better. Thank you babe. :D

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 07:28 AM
babe, if i didnt live on the other side of the country we could hang out and panic together and hug and eat popcorn and drink champagne and talk about how much we hate men and then panic some more.

Syrran
01-05-2008, 08:11 AM
I had an attack driving to the club last night. Pretty much kept me "off" most of the night. -_- dernit.

cameron_keys
01-05-2008, 09:27 AM
woke up early with a churning stomach. Had stress dreams all night. Woke up and puked pure acid out of my stomach and still have a splitting headache.Feels like the acid purge isnt over yet either....

veronicavale
01-05-2008, 11:15 AM
woke up early with a churning stomach. Had stress dreams all night.

That's one of the things I hate the most... Like I'll have dreams that I'm driving to work and I crash my car into a median or something. And when I wake up I'm SURE it's going to happen and I have that anxious feeling in my stomach and it lasts all day.

britt244
01-05-2008, 12:19 PM
ok i thought i was good because i HATE the phone, but i didnt want to go out or order pizza online, so i called and ordered a sandwich off a flier i got in my door yesterday. and i didnt freak out on the phone. usually i cant call especially to order food. except now i feel sick and the idea of actually eating makes me want to throw up.

stellaforstars
01-05-2008, 01:01 PM
Tried to sleep a little bit earlier this morning and had a horrific nightmare. Woke up screaming and all. I'm so sick of the bad dreams that force me to constantly relive past trauma. And if I don't get some sleep soon, I'm going to have serious issues.

TigersMilk
01-05-2008, 03:41 PM
For the first time I took this ativan. All the thoughts are gone..the what ifs too. Feel kinda zombie but functional. It feels really good to just mentally sloooow down.

Lysondra
01-05-2008, 06:43 PM
babe, if i didnt live on the other side of the country we could hang out and panic together and hug and eat popcorn and drink champagne and talk about how much we hate men and then panic some more.

Might take another trip to Adelaide. Heheheh... I had panic attacks i my sleep last nght... like 6-8 of them or just one 10 hour attack...dunno...but I woke up so nervous now. :(

Darcy Foxx
01-05-2008, 07:37 PM
well yeah if you come here again you're welcome to crash at my place, now that i live on my own! i only have one bed though hahah.

Darcy Foxx
01-06-2008, 03:33 AM
jesus, i cannot wait til my psych appt on tuesday. i need to go back there so badly. my emotions are all over the fucking place right now, just sent a text to NYE boy asking if he's still going to pay me back the money i spent and even writing the message i was shaking so badly i could barely even write it. i didn't even like him that much!! why am i panicking so badly just from texting him?! argh. i need to go take a cold shower or something.

TigersMilk
01-06-2008, 07:56 AM
I just realized that to be around a group of people who know me I HAVE to drink to calm myself down. I didn't want to take my ativan because it makes me sleep for the first 3 hours.

At least I got to see my friends tonight after work. Yes, I am still awake at 7am. And, I didn't drive home drunk this time.

cameron_keys
01-06-2008, 04:43 PM
Having a BAD day. i feel like theres nothing I do thats right and all I do is screw things up worse. the world would not change one iota if I were no longer in it. I've contributed nothing.All I am is a screw up and a whore. And a fat one at that as EVERYONE I meet seems to feel the need to remind me.

I've been crying all day, I just want it all to go away

All Good Things
01-06-2008, 10:06 PM
^ Sweetheart, you forget that we've seen pictures of you (some of them even move!) We know how beautiful, sensual and stunningly erotic you are even on your worst days.

It's the most beautiful women who are always the hardest on themselves.

I think it's time to revisit your meds again. There is relief for you out there, but it's going to take time to find it.

In the meantime, please take care of yourself, surround yourself with your hubby and friends and know that you are widely loved and admired. :)


I didn't want to take my ativan because it makes me sleep for the first 3 hours.

TM, what dose of Ativan are you taking right now?

Lysondra
01-06-2008, 10:39 PM
I got a prescription for Lexapro from my doctor. Fucking dumbshit tried to put me on Zoloft AGAIN... like dude... if Zoloft worked, do you think I'd be crying because my car wasn't fixed twenty minutes ago?

veronicavale
01-07-2008, 11:16 AM
This is kind of a rant...

Why can't I be normal enough so that when I have to go to the doctor, I don't wake up 2 hours before I need to be up. And continue to freak out about DRIVING so much that my boyfriend has to take me. So now I feel like I'm going to become a crazy shut-in who never leaves the house! Why can't I be a normal person who doesn't freak out about driving, going to work, or even waiting in line at Wal-Mart? This is so frustrating for me. At this point I feel so pissed off that I just can't get over it and I can hardly wait for the celexa to kick in... These are not things that I should be worried about... I just want to be normal.

cameron_keys
01-07-2008, 11:25 AM
^ Sweetheart, you forget that we've seen pictures of you (some of them even move!) We know how beautiful, sensual and stunningly erotic you are even on your worst days.

It's the most beautiful women who are always the hardest on themselves.

I think it's time to revisit your meds again. There is relief for you out there, but it's going to take time to find it.

In the meantime, please take care of yourself, surround yourself with your hubby and friends and know that you are widely loved and admired. :)



Much aprreciated...but if all that were true...I wouldnt be 3 months behind on my mortgage and getting forclosure notices...I make money supposedly off being pretty...so the fact that I cant make any tells me I'm not.

Meds never work anyway. I've tried a million...they never have any effect. Maybe if I take a whole bottle I'll feel SOME reaction. Or it'll kill me. Either way...my problems would be over.

TigersMilk
01-07-2008, 11:52 AM
Meds never work anyway. I've tried a million...they never have any effect. Maybe if I take a whole bottle I'll feel SOME reaction. Or it'll kill me. Either way...my problems would be over.

I would hate to see anything happen to you because pills don't work. I know its even harder when you're pressed for money. I hope that you can get ahead...wish I had advice. :hug:


TOO, I'm taking 1mg.

veronicavale
01-07-2008, 01:13 PM
Meds never work anyway. I've tried a million...they never have any effect. Maybe if I take a whole bottle I'll feel SOME reaction. Or it'll kill me. Either way...my problems would be over.

I know how it can feel hopeless at times, and I know that you don't know me or anything, but I understand how you feel. Just believe me when I say that killing yourself is never the answer. I'm not sure what advice I can give you, other than support. Just know you're not alone...

britt244
01-07-2008, 02:31 PM
you guys you guys you guysss.. i'm excited! i'm starting a part time day job with AMAZING benefits, and they'll pay 80% of a psych visit PLUS it's a ppo so i have so many more options than with the insurance i have til the end of this month through my dad. my insurance now, i couldnt get a 1st time appt for like 3 months after the time i called. which means *hopefully* i can start getting meds! i thought i'd be better off with ativan over xanax, though my psychologist thinks differently. she says she's seen a higher rate of abuse with ativan.