Log in

View Full Version : Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding



Pages : 1 [2]

jasmine
01-10-2008, 06:07 PM
^^Really, it's the pregnancy and weight gain, not the breastfeeding that can cause sagging.

Nursing Update : I was so excited that my little one - 8 1/2 mos has been taking a bottle with some formula for me. Well, now he has really bad diarrea and a little diaper rash. His pediatrian said he is having difficulty digesting the formula. This really points out how much better BF is imo. Back to full-time nursing for me....

Jasmine

blayze
01-11-2008, 02:40 AM
i've been breastfeeding the XanMan since he was born 2ish months ago. he went at it like a pro, no classes or anything.

my problem is breastfeeding is his favorite thing in the world. FAVORITE. he never wants to stop. not even when hes asleep or playing. it is seriously driving me insane not being able to put the little guy down for 2 minutes without him crying! but he refuses pacifiers (i have tried several different kinds) and will only take a bottle if i am the one giving it to him!

i love the little guy i really do, but i need a break! any suggestions?

High_Heel_Lover
01-11-2008, 06:33 AM
He can be going through a growth spurt honey. How old is the baby? Can he be teething? needing comfort?

High_Heel_Lover
01-11-2008, 06:36 AM
How of ten does he nurse for? how long? when did it start?

Here is a link with helpful info...

1. Always feed your baby at the first sign of hunger and not by the clock or a schedule.

2. Don't be thrown by growth spurts. They are normal and short lived. The only accurate way to gauge how much the baby is taking in is by counting wet and dirty diapers.

3. Buy yourself a tube of Lansinoh.

4. Get through the first 2 to 3 weeks. After that it is SO much easier!!

5. Have phone numbers of breastfeeding-friendly people to help you.

6. Remember that your breasts are never truly empty of milk. You make milk as your baby nurses.

7. Always let the baby end the feeding himself. That way, he will get all of the hindmilk he needs.

8. If you feel discouraged or like throwing in the towel, read this list or 101 Reasons to Breastfeed. It has always helped me and I could never quit after being reminded of why I was breastfeeding.

9. Check to see if you have inverted or flat nipples while pregnant, because you can start correcting them before the baby is born.

10. The first few days till milk comes in, colostrum is really all a baby needs. Nurse often on each side (every 90 minutes) to make sure baby gets enough colostrum and to ensure milk will come in soon.

11. Watching the clock, timing nursing sessions, and switching breasts after x amount of minutes might just drive you and baby crazy. Don't worry so much about the time, and feed baby on one breast till she's satisfied before offering the other, which she may or may not take at the same feeding.

12. It is not supposed to hurt to breastfeed. If it hurts, you have one of two things happening, most likely:
a) A bad latch. Work on that first.
b) Thrush.

13. In the beginning and any time you have sore nipples, use Lansinoh (USP modified lanolin, ultrapure medical grade) in the purple tube from the pharmacy. If you have a sore or cracked nipple, keep nursing on it and it will get better.

14. If it hurts for the first 30 seconds to a minute after latching on and goes away, you are not doing anything wrong. It will get better in a couple of weeks and be gone by 6 weeks. Sometimes let-down can be painful in the beginning. That, too, goes away. Severe or long-lasting pain, however, needs to be looked into; it's probably very solvable.

15. A newborn who is pulling back and crying at the breast is not rejecting you. It could be a growth spurt, forceful letdown, thrush or just a tired or gassy baby. All can be dealt with.

16. A baby, especially newborn, is SUPPOSED to nurse all the time (even every hour or two). That it is normal and does not mean that your milk supply is low.

17. If a baby, especially newborn, is sleepy; she is growing. Don't let a sleepy baby scare you into thinking she isn't getting her nutrition. Jaundice might be a reason that baby is sleepy; keep a close eye on her and contact your pediatrician if you suspect that (see next tip). If she goes a long time without nursing, try using a wet cloth or undress baby to wake her up during feedings.

18. Jaundice is not a reason to substitute formula for breastmilk, no matter what the doctor wants you to think. A baby with a bilirubin level of less than 20 is perfectly fine. Breastfeeding MORE during jaundice, not less, is beneficial. Question anyone who tells you differently and do your own research.

19. Nursing a newborn at least 10 to 12 times a day is a good rule of thumb, and that doesn't mean the feedings will all be evenly spaced. The number of feedings will decrease as baby gets older. Also look for 6 to 8 wet diapers to ensure baby is getting enough to eat. Some babies have BMs more often than others, but when they do occur, they should be mustard yellow and a bit seedy and loose.

20. Putting a baby, especially newborn, on a schedule may decrease your milk supply, ending breastfeeding altogether. Feed on baby's cue (sucking hand, quietly fussing, etc.), even if you think she just ate and can't be hungry. She is growing, needs the comfort and nutrition, and you need the milk stimulation in the early weeks.

21. Some newborns will cluster nurse: feeding often for a few hours then resting for several more. This is normal.

22. A baby being “big” does not mean he needs to be supplemented. Your milk supply will be more than enough for him. Simply nurse him as often as he wants to in the beginning, but don't think that this "constant nursing" will last forever. He'll become more efficient and your milk supply will increase to appease him.

23. There are things you can do to increase your supply if need be. Drink plenty of water. Rest. Take fenugreek or another herbal supplement if the problem is serious.

24. Get a sling. It's a lifesaver. Maya Wrap slings and Over The Shoulder Baby Holder slings are great ones!

25. Leaking: If you leak a lot, don't worry; this will subside over time. If you don't leak much, don't worry; this is NOT an indication of low milk supply.

26. Know when and what to expect during a growth spurt. (10 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, etc.) Baby may pull off breast, be a little fussier, and/or nurse more often, building up your milk supply. Nursing more often does not mean you aren't making enough milk and baby needs formula; just the opposite -- baby is increasing your milk supply for you by nursing more often.)

27. After 6 weeks, your breasts may not feel as full. This is not an indication that you aren't making enough milk, just that your body has adjusted to your milk supply. Around this time, baby may nurse more because of a growth spurt. Don't let the feel of your breasts and the increase in nursing make you worry.

28. Pumping is not a good indicator of how much milk you normally make. Baby sucks more efficiently and differently than a pump. Also, all pumps are NOT created equal.

29. Every bottle of formula given to a baby can:

a) decrease your milk supply, making one think that further supplementing is needed since mom isn't "making enough milk".
b) increase the risk of nipple confusion.
c) even kill forever many of the immunities breastmilk offers, once foreign substances enter the body.

30. Using a pacifier instead of nursing a baby may hinder your milk supply.

31. Unless they have "IBCLC" after the "MD", NEVER take accept as accurate ANYTHING a physician or nurse tells you about breastfeeding; that is not required training for a pediatrician or OB. Hear them out, but find a qualified lactation consultant, excellent reference materials and a support group (online or in real life) of breastfeeding women to get second, third and fourth opinions.

32. If your baby is choking or throwing up during and after eating, it could be you have a forceful letdown. The best way to fix this is to nurse leaning back. This letdown will ease up over time, and your baby will also get used to it.

33. Nurse laying down whenever possible, even if you don't want to cosleep. Baby gets fed, you get rest.

34. Mom eating dairy might cause a baby discomfort in the early weeks and months.

35. Dads can bond in every other way with the baby other than feeding. Offering a bottle early on for dad to bond may interfere with the nursing routine and risk ending it altogether.

36. Regardless of any problem you might encounter, there is a solution that does NOT involve formula. If you hit a road block it's merely a matter of getting accurate help. Talk to an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) if you need serious help. Only 3% of women medically CANNOT breastfeed; that means 97% of women can do it quite successfully, even if there are initial problems.

37. Regardless of what one might think, formula, too, has its downfalls and inconveniences that may not show up till later, including inferior nutrition, increased health problems and cost. Best to get the rough stuff out of the way now and have an easy breastfeeding relationship later on.

38. Surround yourself with supportive people (and good books and online help) and ignore the well-meaning non-supportive ones.

39. When pumping at work, always pump at least as often as your baby would nurse. Add an extra pumping session early in the morning, not at the end of the day, to increase supply.

40. Just because you are young does not mean you can't make the best choices for your child -- and breastmilk is the best choice. Don't let anyone try to tell you that you're too young to make enough milk, or make nutritious milk. You WILL make enough, and it will always be more nutritious than formula.

41. Trust yourself. Other people may try to tell you that you are feeding your baby too often or that you should be feeding solids or formula, but you will know what is best for your baby.

42. Educate yourself. This is the best way to know when you are given bad advice from doctors or well-meaning family members. Read as much as possible before baby is born.

43. Drink at least 64 oz. of water a day.

44. Eating peanut products while nursing can lead to potentially fatal peanut allergies later in baby’s life.

45. When pumping and working you will need to drink at least 80 oz. of water per day. This does not include sodas or caffeinated drinks. If you drink these you need to drink even more water.

46. When pumping and working, your baby can make your work day his longest stretch without nursing, up to 6 hours, as long as you feed every 2 hours during the night.

47. When working, if at all possible, go to your baby for your lunch hour to nurse.

48. If you sleep with your baby you can nurse and sleep at the same time if you do it lying on your side. You may not want to do this in the beginning just to make sure you are awake enough to see that he is eating enough. After 6 or 8 weeks you should have a good breastfeeding relationship and can feed while sleeping.

49. Never hesitate to get help, even if you are not sure that your problems are feeding related.

50. Feeding on demand is the best way to relieve or avoid engorgement. It “teaches” your body to make the right amount for your baby.

51. Enjoy breastfeeding. He will only be a baby for such a short amount of time. Let yourself love it!

52. If the situation arises where you lose your milk, know that you have the possibility to relactate. If women who have never lactated can induce lactation for adopted children, a formerly nursing mom can relactate!

53. You may come across some well-meaning, but unsupportive people who try to give advice and possible misinformation. There are many myths about breastfeeding which most people still believe. Just be prepared to smile, nod and get your own information.

54. Take a class or go to a support group to get yourself ready before the baby is here.

55. Keep in mind that although you have heard stories of women who were “unable” to breastfeed, almost all women can. We know more about breastfeeding now than ever before, and have learned that there is a solution to almost all breastfeeding problems.

56. Pump first thing in the morning because this is when you have the most milk.

57. Remember that the evening is when you have the least amount of milk. This doesn’t mean that you are losing your supply.

58. Before a growth spurt your baby will want to nurse more often because he will be signaling your body to make more in order to accommodate his growth spurt. Feeding on demand is the only way to weather a growth spurt. This is the time when it is most important to not supplement because that will signal your body to make less.

59. During growth spurts baby may sleep a lot, become fussy and pull away from the breast crying (especially in the evening.) Don’t be alarmed, this is normal. The best thing to do is provide a lot of skin-to-skin contact and nurse, nurse, nurse.

60. Once you get past the first few months it will become second nature to you, and you will find that it is so easy to breastfeed. You never have to give feedings a thought because the food is always right there, ready when baby is.

61. When you nurse in public it is helpful to have a sling because the baby feels safe and it is totally discrete. Or you can nurse and do housework at the same time!

62. It is very rare for a breastfed baby to “need” supplements. If someone tells you he does, do your own research before believing them.

High_Heel_Lover
01-11-2008, 06:38 AM
Also this honey...

Why does my baby suddenly want to nurse constantly?

Your baby may have been breastfeeding at fairly regular intervals, but now, it feels as though you are spending the whole day with the baby at your breast! There can be many reasons why your baby has increased breastfeeding. These might include that your baby is experiencing normal "frequency days" or your baby is fighting an illness. Whatever the reason, finding a comfortable place to breastfeed your baby with lots of snacks and water for you might make this time pass more quickly.

Sometimes a sudden increase in breastfeeding can precede a baby getting sick. Increased breastfeeding can provide valuable protection from illness, as your baby will be receiving antibodies and immunities that your body has made especially for your baby during this time.

Other times an increase in breastfeeding can be related to a baby reacting to something objectionable that you ate. If your baby has signs of allergy, or if you have noticed that your baby's breastfeeding patterns change with eating certain foods, you may want to find out more about allergies and food intolerances. This article by Karen Zeretzke about breastfeeding the allergic baby would be a good start.

Some babies also pick up their breastfeeding for other reasons. Are there significant changes in your life, for instance a move or a vacation or visitors in the house? Have you been away from your baby more than usual recently? Is your baby starting to teethe? Often changes in routine or new stages of development in the baby trigger increased desire to breastfeed for comfort and reassurance.

In general, frequent breastfeeding times that last several days are to be expected when your baby is about 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months old. The LLLI book, THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, calls these "frequency days". It is not known exactly why breastfeeding babies follow this pattern. Research has established though, that the best way to maintain your milk supply is to breastfeed following the cues your baby gives you. Allowing your baby to breastfeed more frequently on the days your baby indicates the need, will increase the satisfaction both of you derive from breastfeeding. You will be more likely to have a full supply and your baby will be more likely to grow well!

On those days when all you feel you've done is breastfeed-give yourself credit for what you've accomplished - meeting the needs of your baby and helping him to learn to trust you! You might enjoy reading the NEW BEGINNINGS articles on the benefits of breastfeeding as you deal with your baby's frequent breastfeeding times.

Contacting an LLL Leader in your area or attending a meeting may help you. To find a Group near you, call 1-800-LALECHE, look at our LLL Web Page Index or follow the hints on our page on finding a local LLL Leader. If you are unable to find a local Group, you may consider attending one of our on-line LLL meetings.
Resources for Additional Information

Cue Feeding: Wisdom and Science, by Lisa Marasco, BA, IBCLC and Jan Barger, MA, RC, IBCLC from BREASTFEEDING ABSTRACTS, May 1999, Volume 18, Number 4, pp. 28-29.

These items may be available from the LLLI Online Store or from your local Leader.

THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING La Leche League International keynote title includes important references and resources for the breastfeeding mother. Its vast depth of factual information makes this book a necessary source for breastfeeding mothers, and its warm, friendly tone makes it a classic worth reading again. THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING is the definitive guide, bringing the importance of parenting through breastfeeding into the 21st century. Softcover, 465 pages.

La Leche League International BREASTFEEDING ANSWER BOOK by Nancy Mohrbacher and Julie Stock is the definitive resource for those who are dedicated to helping mothers breastfeed. This guidebook can be used by LLL Leaders, lactation consultants, doctors, and other health care professionals with confidence to help mothers establish and enjoy a satisfying breastfeeding relationship with their babies. Hardcover, spiral bound book, 680 pages.

LoveSexMoney
01-11-2008, 07:06 AM
i've been breastfeeding the XanMan since he was born 2ish months ago. he went at it like a pro, no classes or anything.

my problem is breastfeeding is his favorite thing in the world. FAVORITE. he never wants to stop. not even when hes asleep or playing. it is seriously driving me insane not being able to put the little guy down for 2 minutes without him crying! but he refuses pacifiers (i have tried several different kinds) and will only take a bottle if i am the one giving it to him!

i love the little guy i really do, but i need a break! any suggestions?

That baby will take a bottle of titty milk when he gets hungry enough! You'll probably need to leave the house though because the sound of him crying will be too much for you to bear. Is there a supportive person who is willing to help while you go to the store or something? SO? Mom?

AlexxaHex
01-11-2008, 08:23 AM
He may just not be ready, Blayze - and some babies never take a bottle or pacifier. Just be grateful for the fact that he's getting all his nutrition, and take advantage of his naps to get some things done (or nap yourself!).
I personally could never let Kembra scream if all she wanted was to be close to me or eat. Babies will "comfort nurse", or suck without extracting milk like when they are eating. You can tell because the latch may be a little shallower, and the sucking not as powerful. Usually they do it while they are falling asleep. You can also wait until Xander is asleep and then gentle remove your nipple and lie him down if you need to get away. I eventually gave into the pacifier because Kembra was like this too, but you have to be really careful because this can definitely lower your supply. She doesn't seem to want her pacifier anymore though, thankfully.
Good luck - it gets easier! I know you hear that all the time but truly it does.

Return2theStage
01-11-2008, 09:56 AM
I agree with Holiday. I am totally impressed by all the knowledge on this thread! I haven't been around in a long, long time but I was beckoned to this thread since I am a Breastfeeding Counselor for WIC. (For those of you not in the States it's a supplemental food program for pregnant and nursing women and young children with low incomes.) And a long retired dancer. ;)

At any rate- you are getting lots of great info on this thread. The Academy of Plastic Surgery just released this study not that long ago. Apparently breastfeeding does no make breasts sag. :) http://www.livescience.com/health/071102-breast-sagging.html

Soy formula has risks but cow milk does as well. Introduction of cow milk increases a the likelihood of diabetes greatly. http://www.kellymom.com/newman/risks_of_formula_08-02.html#diabetes

That whole site www. kellymom.com is good.

I love Ribios tea that was suggested earlier but it's not safe to supplement a breastfed baby because if their bellies are filled with tea then they don't get enough milk.

Blayze- I would bet growth spurt. That or it's just his personality. My younger son is like that- velcro baby. I hope it's just a growth spurt.

I'm sure there is something else I am forgetting... at any rate. If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

Return2theStage
01-11-2008, 09:57 AM
I know what I forgot.... someone asked what happens to your boobs if you BF for years (and I have, lol). As the baby takes less milk and more solid food they begin gradually weaning and your breasts gradually go back to normal. Or at least post pregnancy normal.

Sinder
01-11-2008, 10:21 AM
*head spinning*

Wow, HHL, you girl are the encyclopedia of BF! I had always thought that I wasn't going to BF becasue I didn't want saggy softballs-in-a-tube-sock titties, but you all have convinced me otherwise. I am not sure how I will enjoy the BF part as I am the same nipple wise as BG is *extra sensitive*....but I will definately pump regardless now. But you have shed valubale light, and shared valued wisdom with experience to change my mind.


Thanks BG for starting this thread!

High_Heel_Lover
01-11-2008, 10:59 AM
Oh honey I am a lactivist :D

After I had such a hard time with my first, I nursed him for 6 weeks and I gave up, the doc kept saying "it's ok to give up" so I did, well why did I have a hard time? I had mastitis and no one helped me (A plugged (or blocked) duct is an area of the breast where milk flow is obstructed. The nipple pore may be blocked (see Milk Blister), or the obstruction may be further back in the ductal system. A plugged duct usually comes on gradually and affects only one breast. ) and I thought I was doing something wrong so I stopped.


One day I was in PR with my kiddo and I ran out of formula, all the stores were closed, there was a hurricane on the way and I was crying, hysterical, why cause my kid had no milk. My foster parents went to the hospital and got me formula and I said "I can't let this happen again, ever" so with my second child I did research, found great sites, made wonderful friends (Ahem Return2theStage is my friend, met her there and she directed me to here :D )
and you know what, I learned so much and found out so much about it that I fell in love.

Now don't get me wrong, at times it is hard, but nothing in life is easy but what is worth doing you do. I felt responsible for my child's heath, as any mother should and after seeing the good the bad and the ugly I said "it is for my baby and for me"

No matter how long it is done, breastmilk is a fantastic source of health for your child and for the mom. The risks of breast cancer reduce enormous for a woman who breastfed. Weight comes down with breastfeeding and that my friend is great! My second child got an ear infection ONCE while my other kiddo was in and out of the doctor for them all the time. I could go on and on but won't ;)

Sinder
01-11-2008, 02:18 PM
You are the BF Goddess! LOL! I am so checking out all the websites you listed!

blayze
01-11-2008, 05:26 PM
he's ten weeks old, and the constant nursing started about two weeks ago. i have tried sneaking the nipple out of his mouth, and he wakes right up and demands that i return it.
i have tried leaving, and my mother will watch him for a little while, but as soon as he starts crying she calls and makes me come right back home. which, in my opinion, defeats the purpose of having her watch him. pretty much she will only watch him if he is sleeping. i cant really have someone else watch him since i live with my mother at this point and she throws a FIT if i take him to a babysitters or even if i let my brother watch him.

i thought that he might be teething, but isnt he too young? (two and a halfish months) and i know he's supposed to be growing and all (can't have them staying under two feet tall forever!) and that he is constantly growing, but how much growth constitutes a growth "spurt?"

RoseWhite
01-11-2008, 05:59 PM
At any rate- you are getting lots of great info on this thread. The Academy of Plastic Surgery just released this study not that long ago. Apparently breastfeeding does no make breasts sag. :) http://www.livescience.com/health/071102-breast-sagging.html


Thanks for posting that article! I'm totally bookmarking it. It's amazing that this is such a common misconception. Why does breastfeeding continue to get so slandered, I wonder?

Especially interesting what that article has to say about smoking! A lot of people are aware that it causes wrinkles, but I'll bet not many know what a strong effect it has on boob saggage! (I say this as a former smoker.)




The results of the study, presented this week at a conference of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, showed no difference in the degree of breast ptosis (or sagging) between women who breastfed and those who didn't.

The main factors that did affect sagging were age, smoking status and the number of pregnancies a woman has had. Rinker noted that the smoking connection made sense because "smoking breaks down a protein in the skin called elastin, which gives youthful skin its elastic appearance and supports the breast."

I feel almost sure that at some point I'll encounter someone, perhaps in the dressing room, talking about how she doesn't want to nurse since it'll "ruin her boobs" . . . with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

oohdamnbaby
01-11-2008, 06:15 PM
Whoa, I definitely didn't know that smoking caused sagging! Yikes!

I just want to say that Kellymom is an absolutely wonderful site full of truckloads of useful breastfeeding information.

Also - if any of the nursing moms or moms to be have issues with breastfeeding, La Leche League is great and can even help you out if you're having a hard time paying for lactation consultants. I had to see a lactation consultant for about 4 months and she really helped me carry on with breastfeeding. I went through a bad latch and had to use a nipple shield which resulted in poor supply. My daughter lost quite a bit of weight and was always on the breast. I had to use a hospital grade pump to supplement her with the hindmilk because she wasn't effectively emptying my breast, but then I developed cracked nipples and clogged ducts. From there we went through numerous growth spurts, my daughter went on a nursing strike, and the day that I felt I was at my wit's end.. she just took the breast. I nursed her for 11 months until she absolutely would not take the breast (even with herbs to increase my supply I couldn't produce anything while pumping) and she is one amazingly healthy little girl.

Breastfeeding is so worth the effort that it sometimes takes.

High_Heel_Lover
01-11-2008, 07:55 PM
Common times for growth spurts are during the first few days at home and around 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less). Babies don't read calendars, however, so your baby may do things differently.



I know Return will answer this better, I sent her a PM over on the other site cause I am having hard freaking time with my kids and bed time, my 2 yr old is teething and sweet Lord I understand he's in pain but AH! mommy needs a break!

When they go to sleep I will come back babe. Hang in there honey.

High_Heel_Lover
01-11-2008, 08:30 PM
Yay daddy is home!

Ok what type of bottle are you using? There are different types of ways to feed the baby not only with a bottle also, which do you use? how many times are you offering the bottle?

colleen
01-11-2008, 11:10 PM
Balyze--

Get a sling! YOur baby will cuddle right in there and leave you free to walk around the house or get out to the store or whatever. I kept my kid in there until he started crawling, and then he wanted nothing to do with it. I walked off a lot of my pre-baby weight by putting him in the sling and then wandering around the neighborhood.

blayze
01-12-2008, 02:37 AM
i have tried all kinds of bottles with different nipples and different formulas and breastmilk in the bottle. he WILL NOT take it. the only reason i need him to take is because i am going to be starting classes again in a week. i offer him a bottle about once a day, and even when he's starving he wont take it. he's a big fan of boobie. lol.

i'm gonna try the sling thing, i have had the materials to make ne i just haven't gotten to it yet.

the kiddo passed out finally, so i'm gonna catch some sleep while i can! thank you ladies and goodnight

StrawberrySwitchblade
01-12-2008, 03:32 AM
I will SO have a Maya sling when I have children. It just makes so much sense to keep the baby right there. They are with you, against you, and it's very soothing. Like how a baby quiets after you pick it up. What bugs me is people saying picking up the baby when it cries is spoiling it. That's nonsense from those fucking Babywise books, which should be burned.

Return2theStage
01-12-2008, 07:08 AM
I will SO have a Maya sling when I have children. It just makes so much sense to keep the baby right there. They are with you, against you, and it's very soothing. Like how a baby quiets after you pick it up. What bugs me is people saying picking up the baby when it cries is spoiling it. That's nonsense from those fucking Babywise books, which should be burned.

I could not agree more. :) There are about a million kinds of slings out there. I like the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder for newborns but the Maya seems to be loved by everyone.

Blayze my guess is that he just has a strong need to suck and that's why he wants the nipple in his mouth. As far as getting it out sometimes is works better if you try to pull it out slowly and sometimes its better to just pull it out fast. Depends on the baby. (Make sure he's dead asleep though!) You can't blame the little guy for not wanting the plastic version. When he nurses from the breast the milk is the perfect temp, the nipple is soft and warm, and smells good. He gets to be near your skin, look into your eyes, and smell you. He's really quite smart to say "F this bottle", lol.

It sucks that your mom isn't totally devoted to getting him to take the bottle. Sometimes is helps if the person giving him the bottle holds him in her lap facing out so it's totally different that nursing it. You can also feed babies out of many other items. Everything from valve free sippy cups, to spoons, droppers, and medicine cups. Everything you'd EVER want to know http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/alternative-feeding.html.

I was thinking last night that I missed something on this thread earlier- something about weaning to formula at ten months. Although I don;t have any problem with anyone doing that- it seems silly to switch to formula with only two months left to go! Then the baby got breastmilk it's whole first year (recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics- the World Health Organization recommends two years). You reduce the risks that come with formula and you never spend a dime on it.

I also second- or fourth - LLL. They have a hotline now too.... 1 888 LALECH I think it is...

:)

High_Heel_Lover
01-12-2008, 07:34 AM
And this is why I love Return, so smart, she is fabulous! Besides her infinite amt of knowledge when it comes to breastfeeding, she's freaking hot and one day she will teach me some freaking moves! I have to teach her how to Salsa but it evens out! lol

I wish you ladies luck! Take your time, try to relax and any questions I'm here and if at any moment I am like "uhh not sure" I will do my best to get the right info.

AlexxaHex
01-12-2008, 09:16 AM
Just because SS mentioned a shitty baby book, I'm also going to say that those "What To Expect" books are absolute trash. The "expecting" one and the "first year" one both have given me panic attacks from bad and/or incomplete information. I thought for sure that I had endometriosis and mastitis and all kinds of crap because they are such alarmists. They're like, "oh you bleached your hair two years before you got pregnant? Well that's okay...your child might be born with all it's limbs.".
::)
They do say that breastfeeding is best and gives some advice and all that, but please just go to an LLL meeting or find a lactation consultant instead. Everything will make much better sense to you. If anyone bought any new or expecting moms these books, please throw them out. You'll be crying constantly if you read them.

Oh and regarding the slings - We like our . It's not the absolute best for newborns because they tend to slump into odd positions during sleep, but when baby is about 3 months or older and can hold his/her head up, it's the best because there are various hold options and styles. It looks complicated but once you get the initial wrap down, you can do so much with it. Easy, comfortable and even at 15 lbs, I can wear Kembra all day and she doesn't hurt my back.

LoveSexMoney
01-12-2008, 10:36 AM
regarding the what to expect books^ really? lol I don't remember them being that extreme.

blayze, that SUCKS! What the heck is your mom going to do when you start class? I hope she doesn't call you to rush home while you're on campus!

Return2theStage
01-12-2008, 07:38 PM
What to Expect is awful. As is Babywise and anything by Ferber.

The Sears books are good- the Breastfeeding Book, the Baby Book, etc.
"So That's What They're For" is good too.
For the crunchy set "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" has great info despite the silly title. Poledancing is a womanly art. Breastfeeding is a biological function. ;)

HHL I always wanted to learn salsa....

Return2theStage
01-12-2008, 07:39 PM
Blayze I forgot to ask- is you get a sling some professors are cool with the baby sleeping in the sling for the first few months during class. At least until he's making noise and/or crawling. It can' hurt to ask.

holiday
01-12-2008, 09:07 PM
Blayze, I felt the same as you, there were times I'd hate nursing. She wanted to do it all the time. And, my nipples just felt so used. I don't know what to tell you other than it will go by soon enough. Believe me. When my baby weaned herself I was like, that's it? I mean I missed it right away.

You could also try keeping him occupied with other stuff, sling walks are nice.

As far as bottles, I had trouble too. It just took a while. I finally had success with her facing out and she'd drink it while she was walked around. Also it was easier for other people to give it to her while I was gone.

I also recommend the Sears Breastfeeding book.

Good luck with school starting up.

StrawberrySwitchblade
01-13-2008, 11:47 AM
What to Expect is awful. As is Babywise and anything by Ferber.


My sister is expecting twins, she's around 20wks (if my mental tally is right). I saw What To Expect in her book pile and wanted to cry. I plan on giving her one of Sears' books at her baby shower.

It just seems like giving (or buying) What to Expect When You're Expecting and Babywise are almost ingrained tradition. Most people use the garbage advice without having even read the books. Like Cry It Out and junk like that.

Lola Rose
01-13-2008, 11:57 AM
I don't think I could let my child CIO. I'd be crying right there with it :'(

AlexxaHex
01-13-2008, 12:45 PM
^^Good for you. If baby is crying, there is always a reason. Holding your baby, picking her up, sleeping with her and spending time with her are NEVER bad things and will not spoil a child. It only makes them more secure and trusting of her parents. Tough love is for teenagers, not infants!

Blayze, I just thought of a POSSIBLE solution. If Xander won't take a pacifier (and there is controversy as to whether or not they should have one anyway because it can cause nipple confusion and lower your milk supply), I have heard some families having success with using a pinky finger because it's fleshy and similar to mom's nipple. This way, mom, dad or grandma can help. It may or may not work (Kembra didn't take to it) but some babies prefer it over the paci. Clip the nail short and have the fleshy part of the finger facing up so that the nail doesn't irritate the roof of his mouth.

blayze
01-13-2008, 04:54 PM
thanks ya'all for the advice! i'm gonna go make my sling thingy as soon as i'm done with this post. i'll post pics if you want.

and i tried the pinky too! he'll take it for a little while, but then figures it out...

he really isnt a bad baby, he's actually quite easy, but once he's mad there is no substitute for the boob. i'm going to try just giving him bottles until he takes it. i need him to take a bottle so i can get to school, but i hate that its going to be hard on him. ahhh! i think i'm going to cry!

blayze
01-13-2008, 04:57 PM
Blayze I forgot to ask- is you get a sling some professors are cool with the baby sleeping in the sling for the first few months during class. At least until he's making noise and/or crawling. It can' hurt to ask.

oo just saw this. i'm going to ask if i can do this, he's pretty quiet as long as i'm holding him. he eats pretty loudly, though, so i'm not sure they'll like boobie sucking noises...

High_Heel_Lover
01-13-2008, 05:00 PM
Babies aren't bad honey some are just more high needs than others honey. They are little people, who can't speak and they try to make us understand them and at times we just don't understand what is going through their little heads. This is why to me the hardest job in the world is being a mother but it is the most gratifying also.

blayze
01-13-2008, 07:28 PM
Babies aren't bad honey some are just more high needs than others honey. They are little people, who can't speak and they try to make us understand them and at times we just don't understand what is going through their little heads. This is why to me the hardest job in the world is being a mother but it is the most gratifying also.

very very true. sorry for my wording. and thank you so much

i just made a fauxby (moby (http://www.mobywrap.com/))and by make i mean i had a strip of stretchyish cloth i used while i was pregnant for a wrap tube top (like this (http://www.isabellaoliver.com/maternity-clothes/maternity-wrap-tops/Bandeau-Wrap-Top/D/30100/P/1:100:2070/I/TP02))and i just wrapped it like a moby and he seems to be liking it alright. i'm still holding him, but at least i have the use of both hands!

VenusGoddess
01-13-2008, 08:10 PM
I love my Moby. It is a godsend. I don't like it as much with an older child (cloth too stretchy) but with them while they're small...I love, love, love it.

StrawberrySwitchblade
01-14-2008, 05:14 AM
^^Good for you. If baby is crying, there is always a reason. Holding your baby, picking her up, sleeping with her and spending time with her are NEVER bad things and will not spoil a child. It only makes them more secure and trusting of her parents. Tough love is for teenagers, not infants!


Exactly! You cannot spoil a baby by meeting it's needs. That's the only thing it can really comprehend in it's first few months of life: getting it's basics met, and that is food, hygiene, and love. Don't listen to the people who say that you are being manipulated, or you are not using discipline, because babies that small don't need discipline yet, and they don't know HOW to manipulate. They just want mommy.

I spend a lot of time at MotheringDotCommune, though...

Return2theStage
01-14-2008, 10:35 AM
Exactly! You cannot spoil a baby by meeting it's needs. That's the only thing it can really comprehend in it's first few months of life: getting it's basics met, and that is food, hygiene, and love. Don't listen to the people who say that you are being manipulated, or you are not using discipline, because babies that small don't need discipline yet, and they don't know HOW to manipulate. They just want mommy.

I spend a lot of time at MotheringDotCommune, though...

I spend some time there as well. :)

I just wanted to say that I counsel mothers of all economical, social, and racial backgrounds and I have never, ever seen one group of women so well informed. As much as I defy the dancer stereotype- even I am impressed by the incredible knowledge of 'a bunch of strippers'. I'll carry that tidbit with me in my role as a counselor forever. :)

RoseWhite
01-14-2008, 01:07 PM
^^ Another MotheringDotCommunist here! Love that site. I'm Rose Duperre over there if you ever catch me (I read more than I post, though). If you like that site, this is my personal favorite thread (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=34933&highlight=what%27s+worst+advice) ever. Don't even try to read it all at once, I've been perusing it at my leisure for nearly 5 months now. I'm ALMOST halfway through now . . .

Anyway, back on semi-topic. Just another word on the below:


My sister is expecting twins, she's around 20wks (if my mental tally is right). I saw What To Expect in her book pile and wanted to cry. I plan on giving her one of Sears' books at her baby shower.

It just seems like giving (or buying) What to Expect When You're Expecting and Babywise are almost ingrained tradition. Most people use the garbage advice without having even read the books. Like Cry It Out and junk like that.

I'm with you on the general sentiment about "What to Expect", HOWEVER, it's just like any other tool - it all depends on how you use it. True to tradition, I had no plans to pick it up myself, but my mom mailed it to me the second she heard the news. Totally well-intentioned, and it went into my pregnancy/birth/parenting library alongside about, oh, say, two dozen other titles. (I'm not kidding.)

It doesn't generally reflect my parenting views at all, and certainly not my views on childbirth (as a planning-to-homebirther). I do find it to be biased toward a narrowly allopathic approach to pregnancy. I'm a much bigger fan of Sheila Kitzinger and of the Sears series, but I've used WTE a few times as a reference book - and believe it or not, it's actually not only been helpful, but one time it was even reassuring. I won't go into what the situation was unless anyone's interested (bit of a long story), but in short, it gave me hopeful information on something that was really frightening and upsetting to me - and not a one of my more natural/progressive pregnancy & birth books did.

Point being, it's just another tool. Don't despair! Your sister isn't going to automatically become a Stepford Mom just because she has it on her shelf. Anyone who wants to become a good parent will be able to think critically and look to more than one source of information anyway - and if they aren't doing that already, well, the problem is bigger than just a single book. The more you can do to diversify the information she has access too, the better, so your gift idea is a great one! I wouldn't wait for the shower, though - give it to her now! :)

"Babywise", though, now that one really is in a class by itself as far as truly dangerous and just plain FALSE information goes. >:( I'm sorry, tiny infants do not have "wants". They ONLY have needs. Not meeting them only teaches them that the world is a dangerous and cruel place - so they might as well just give up. :'( I'd better stop before this post gets even more ridiculously long than it already is . . .

VenusGoddess
01-15-2008, 06:33 AM
I love MotheringDotCommune!!!

I have What to Expect (a gift, as well) and the thing that drives me BATTY is the "pregnancy diet" they have in there. Good lord...if anyone followed that diet, they'd gain WAAAAY too much weight!!!

I have the books by Ina May Gaskin. I LOVE them!!! I also highly recommend them!!!

Woot!

StrawberrySwitchblade
01-15-2008, 02:46 PM
*has been reading MDC for about a week now...*

I instilled the horrors of Ezzo into my sister before my niece was born, by having her reason back to me how schedules that could dehydrate and stress the baby, and how not 'crying it out' is not 'giving in' to the baby as much as it is meeting a baby's needs. My sis is pretty laid back though, and was never one for manuals. It's just reflexive for many people. It's the parenting advice they heard from everyone around them as they grew up. I used to believe in a lot of Ezzo's bullshit, mostly from getting scolded (!!!) for picking up babies that cried, saying I was spoiling them.

StrawberrySwitchblade
01-15-2008, 02:50 PM
^^ Another MotheringDotCommunist here! Love that site. I'm Rose Duperre over there if you ever catch me (I read more than I post, though). If you like that site, this is ever. Don't even try to read it all at once, I've been perusing it at my leisure for nearly 5 months now. I'm ALMOST halfway through now .
.

*looks down and kicks a rock* That's actually the thread I've been reading for about two weeks now...:P

Lola Rose
01-15-2008, 02:57 PM
I love sw :)

and this thread rocks.

colleen
01-15-2008, 03:36 PM
I have What to Expect (a gift, as well) and the thing that drives me BATTY is the "pregnancy diet" they have in there. Good lord...if anyone followed that diet, they'd gain WAAAAY too much weight!!!



I did . . . . and, I did. :-X Thank God for the sling. I walked off all that weight and more, lugging kiddo around the neighborhood.