View Full Version : "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda
PhillyDancer1982
02-04-2008, 05:12 PM
Philly...One ability that seems to go hand in hand with your goal of assertiveness is maturity. Take the high road once in a while if somebody offends you with ill-formed thoughts. Being bitchy and passive agressive only makes you look immature and that does NOT pair well with a true assertive ADULT. ;)
Learn to stand up for yourself like an adult woman. It's the toughest thing you will ever do sometimes, but it's worth it.
Just for the record, the way I write on a forum vs. the way I actually deal with people/situations are quite different. I understand that since you don't know me in real life, you'd have no way of knowing that...so it is understandable for you to think that way. For example, I might bitch on here about somebody holding an unjustified grudge against me for over a year, but in "real life"...I ceased all contact from the grudeholder and even blocked him back, so that if he tries to eventually contact me(whether it's to be cool, or to start more trouble), he won't be able to. I guess my approach there IS slightly passive-aggressive...is it?
Jenny
02-04-2008, 05:12 PM
Like OMG, like it's so Godawful that I, like, totally stand up for myself yeah that's it. ::) Godforbid me claiming that I don't need charity care, uh yeah sure. Perhaps I should wake up on the "bitch" side of M--k's sofa more often!
Philly; I'm honestly a little concerned about what you think "standing up for yourself" means. When you are a grown woman standing up for yourself means being strong, confident and dignified; not seizing on an excuse for conflict, or, lord forbid, getting into physical altercations. Like, honestly I characterize my proponsity for conflict as a weakness, not a strength and I don't know how to tell you strongly enough that you are worse than me; I mean right now you are bickering with people largely because they didn't think that you should have a confrontation with someone else because he didn't want to be your friend. Just... look at the levels.
I will not bring up specific examples - but look around here. The people who are "strongest" - those who are the smartest, most respected etc.are the one's that don't require confrontation. The one's who can make their points intelligently, not get mad even at other people's derision and who can actually disengage with the topic without saying "I have nothing more to say to you" and instead just not say anything else (You all know who you are.) THAT is standing up for yourself - not starting thread after thread about why you are right. I mean, if you look at what is going on here and what you describe in your life... there are similarities. Really step and think about it; is this insistence on fighting with people and confronting them over topics like them not being interested in you really about standing up for yourself? Because from outside it looks like something different.
BrunetteGoddess
02-04-2008, 05:16 PM
I primarily meant how you handled yourself in this thread.
Katrine
02-04-2008, 05:24 PM
I sent Brody a friendly comment, complimenting his site's cool looking background design. It was really awesome looking and it reminded me of what firecrackers would look like while tripping on acid...so I told him this. Now Brody is NOT straight-edge, but a huge stoner/tripper/etc and he's been this way since 7th grade. So I know that he wasn't offended by the acid/LSD reference and it was obvious that I meant it as a compliment.
Ummm, no. Look at it from a different perspective. If someone sends me a comment discussing drugs, stripping, prostitution, or even Stripperweb, I reject it. My brother, and some other people from different parts of my life are on my MySpace. They don't need any public reminders about illegal and illicit activities. That wasn't a very sensitive comment on your end. What if others had seen the LSD reference before he had a chance to log on? What if he has had trouble with the law and has probation issues?
I'd be pissed off if you sent me a public comment talking about using drugs, and would not want to speak about it for a while. Its nothing personal, but that's a huge risk you put this person through. Do you see it how I see it?
Another time, a guy from my high school rejected me "because of my default picture" he claimed. My default picture consisted of me wearing a denim vest that showed some cleavage...nothing obscene! It was a flattering, tasteful photo taken by a professional photographer. What kind of prude IS this guy, if he was offended by a little cleavage?(if that's even the reason) LOL is he going to be the type that someday bans his kids from watching The Little Mermaid due to Ariel showing too much cleavage?
Again, same response. What if his girlfriend/wife was on his list? What if his mom and sister were on there? Do you know if they are conservative? Why should he have to deal with unecessary grief.
I had a photo of me hanging upside down on my friend's pole once. I was full dressed, and in flip-flops. It was obviously not in a club setting. My little brother sent me an email, pissed off about the photo. So I took it down out of respect. Does this make sense now?
PhillyDancer1982
02-04-2008, 05:27 PM
Yeah this is why I dropped out of myspace AGAIN....
Yeah I hear you on that and I feel the same way at times, but this concept of blocking/snubbing can happen with almost any mode of communication. For example, blocking someone on AOL IM. Or someone purposely hitting the "reject" button on their cell phone when you try to call and tell them something that is potentially very important/useful. Or even someone excluding you from their large wedding/party/meeting/event that every single other family member is invited to. It's the idea that no matter what the mode of communication being used, it's still snubbery when someone does that, and therefore that person isn't worth regarding as a friend or even someone worth answering a question about maps/directions.
Here's why I probably get so angry about the Myspace(or any kind) snubbery: Before I made my Myspace site private, all of these pervy dirty guys would send me friends requests and sometimes even slightly pervy messages. I felt a (stupid stupid stupid) polite obligation to approve their friends requests and to tolerate their slightly pervy messages the same way I would tolerate the pervy strip club customers' annoying pervy comments or attempts at groping me(e.g., I would smile sweetly and say "no no" to the customer instead of kicking him with my stiletto). It actually got to the point that one of my more shallow friends reprimanded me for having "too many ugly people" on my friends list! Unfortunately people didn't return that level of kindness to me...even though my messages lacked such crassness. ..and they would reject me for seemingly no reason at all. That's when I started realizing that if people had a "right" to reject me, then I too had a "right" to delete the annoying pervs/losers from my Myspace site. Ohhhh if you could only read all the bitching, insulting messages that I received from the "mature" 38-yr-olds after I took them off my friends list or rejected their comment about "wanting to lick me"! So then I was stuck with a double standard. Apparently it was "quite okay" for people that I personally knew to block me completely, but it wasn't okay for me to reject a lewd comment from some guy I didn't even know in real life. Perhaps that's where a lot of my bitterness over being blocked comes from.
PhillyDancer1982
02-04-2008, 05:41 PM
Ummm, no. Look at it from a different perspective. If someone sends me a comment discussing drugs, stripping, prostitution, or even Stripperweb, I reject it. My brother, and some other people from different parts of my life are on my MySpace. They don't need any public reminders about illegal and illicit activities. That wasn't a very sensitive comment on your end. What if others had seen the LSD reference before he had a chance to log on? What if he has had trouble with the law and has probation issues?
I'd be pissed off if you sent me a public comment talking about using drugs, and would not want to speak about it for a while. Its nothing personal, but that's a huge risk you put this person through. Do you see it how I see it?
Yeah you actually raise a great point and in most cases that would be very true. However, Brody comes from an artsy liberal family and he already had other drug references in the comments section on his site. Prior to the firecrackers background design, he had a marijuana one. Either way, I meant it figuratively, so perhaps that's why I didn't think anything of my comment.
Perhaps there is a small chance that maybe Brody did a 180 and didn't want anything remotely related to drugs on his site. If this was the case though, you'd think he would have told me this in response to the message I sent him, in which I expressed that I hoped I didn't offend him...at least the other guy *told* me that my denim picture offended him, you know? When I rejected a few pervs' comments about licking, I wrote them an e-mail asking them to please tone down the comments or else I wouldn't be able to approve them. But who knows...maybe some people don't think this way?
In this case, I am still prone to thinking that Brody was just trying to ignore contact with me, since it seemed that a lot of Ed's other guy friends were doing that during that period of time. (Ed knows how to turn people against someone pretty damn good) And Brody has been somewhat two-faced a few other times in past years.
britt244
02-04-2008, 05:43 PM
ok thats ridiculous. why would you add "pervy" people or in that case anyone you dont know? no wonder youre getting upset ::)
PhillyDancer1982
02-04-2008, 05:45 PM
Again, same response. What if his girlfriend/wife was on his list? What if his mom and sister were on there? Do you know if they are conservative? Why should he have to deal with unecessary grief.
That is another good point. Personally I didn't see anything that wrong with the picture and I even asked a few of my close friends if there was anything obscene about it and they thought the guy was "weird" for being offended by it. Maybe he just wasn't attracted to me and didn't want me on his friends list, or maybe he is just super conservative.
PS, this kid was friends with Brody and a bunch of guys that had bullied me back when we went to school together, if that means anything. Perhaps they're just a bad group to deal with?...I don't know...or maybe he's actually a nice boy? Either way I won't know but eh, it's not that important really. I don't even know why I'm explaining it so much LOL and you probably agree with me here.
PhillyDancer1982
02-04-2008, 05:51 PM
ok thats ridiculous. why would you add "pervy" people or in that case anyone you dont know? no wonder youre getting upset ::)
I know, tell me about it. :( I shouldn't have been so accomodating, dammit. The reason I added these guys to my friends list is because I figured that it was "only" Myspace, and adding them to my friends list was something simple...it wasn't like I was sleeping with them or loaning them $1000 or something! I figured that I would appease them by accepting their friends request(I didn't want to upset nobody!) but use discretion when approving the comments...which led to them just getting pissy at me and writing mocking e-mails when they noticed that I rejected their comments, even after I straightforwardly told them to please tone it down with the comments. So yeah for me to treat some loser that amicably, and then get blocked by someone that I knew personally and was trying to get in touch with, was like a slap in the face.
Even my friends got confrontational about the friends request thing...e.g., when my site got shut down and I restarted a new one with the same URL/website addy a month later, my friend "Keisha" immediately messaged me with, "Hi, how are you? Tsk tsk tsk did you take me off your friends list?" so I sent her a friends request and explained to her that I had to start my site from scratch.
But yeah, that's partly why my site is private now and I weeded out all of the losers lol.
Darcy Foxx
02-04-2008, 07:43 PM
i skipped over a lot of the dramz.
i reject friend requests from lots of school friends on my personal, private myspace. why? because i write some very personal blogs on there that i only trust a very select group of people to read. it's not that i think badly of them and that i'm 'dissing' them, it's just that there's things on there that i don't want others to read.
i have a lot of guy friends that won't accept my friend requests. why? because they have psycho bitch immature girlfriends who throw a hissy fit at them if they add any attractive girls.
you said it in your thread title dude... 'it's only myspace'. i really am just baffled as to why you seem to distraught over this.
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 08:03 AM
i skipped over a lot of the dramz.
i reject friend requests from lots of school friends on my personal, private myspace. why? because i write some very personal blogs on there that i only trust a very select group of people to read. it's not that i think badly of them and that i'm 'dissing' them, it's just that there's things on there that i don't want others to read.
i have a lot of guy friends that won't accept my friend requests. why? because they have psycho bitch immature girlfriends who throw a hissy fit at them if they add any attractive girls.
you said it in your thread title dude... 'it's only myspace'. i really am just baffled as to why you seem to distraught over this.
I can actually understand that if you have a private site with minimal people on it, then perhaps you are reserving your site for only your close friends, or perhaps you have some really personal, private stuff on there. Understandable.
However, I'm not referring to someone that has an ultra-private site(I apologize if I wasn't specific enough)...I'm referring to guys(who are in general less private/personal on these sites than girls) who have their sites open, unprivate, with a friends list that includes everyone-and-their-grandma from middle school on. Obviously a dude like this isn't treating his site as something "ultra personal" or "confidential," so if he approves 500 other people from his hometown but completely *blocks* you when you try to say hi, it's NOT reason to be "distraught" but you should start thinking that perhaps it's not worth associating with someone that is obviously avoiding contact/association with you.
I'm not distraught at all...the original purpose of the thread was to point out that if someone approves your friends request, it doesn't necessarily mean that you guys are best friends or anything special, BUT if someone with a totally open, UNprivate site rejects your request, that is reason to wonder if maybe they just aren't interested in being friends/acquaintences with you and perhaps they're even trying to avoid contact(as some of my own experiences have turned out to be).
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 08:12 AM
I already said this and I'll say it again: Most of my annoyance at certain people(this didn't necessarily just happen to me, but to some of my friends too) "blocking" me is rooted in the double standard that I've seemingly experienced with communication modes such as Myspace. For example, I *used to* approve almost all friends requests, even from ugly guys that I had no interest in, just to be "friendly" and appease them. When these ugly pervy guys started writing annoying lewd comments, I would get flamed, bitched at, and mocked if Godforbid I rejected their comment or wrote them a message politely asking them to please tone down the comments. These guys would also use gaslighting/manipulation tactics, such as saying "Whatever, you have no sense of humor," essentially turning it around on me and blaming me. So after politely tolerating all of this bullshit, it's quite annoying to have someone that you know personally, *block* you when you try to message them a friendly "hello." I'm not talking about a mere friends request rejection...I'm talking about block/filter you out.
So Myspace has taught me that apparently I have no right to even so much as silently resent a long-time acquaintence blocking contact from me, BUT I am also "wrong" and a "cruel, humorless stick-in-the-mud" if I don't tolerate pervy lewd comments from Myspace people that I don't even really know. ::) ::) It's a very annoying double standard and my friends were relating to it(not just Myspace, but double standards in general) just the other day.
Jenny
02-05-2008, 08:28 AM
^^^
See philly; here is the thing. This is not a "double standard." It would be a double standard if that guy expected to be on your "friends" list but refused to add you to his (which I don't think is actually possible). People who have no interest in being friends with you do not incur obligations to you because of how unrelated strangers have interacted with you. You seem to think that you can put everyone's behaviour on a scale and work out "fair" and "unfair" and then demand that everyone behave accordingly when that is just not the case. The fact that perverts sought you out on myspace (which is sort of myspace's primary mission at this point) does not mean that middle school friends owe you anything. You seem to think that the fact that you (for some reason) choose to accept strangers means that other people are under some weird, universal obligation to accept you.
Let me put it to you this way: you control your behaviour. Not your friends, not that of people who don't like you, and not strangers on myspace. So their behaviour doesn't dictate yours. Only a child think that they have no choice but to behave the way someone else behaves. The fact that some stranger on myspace feels unreasonably entitled to your attention doesn't mean that you need to feel unreasonably entitled to someone else's. You are still perfectly capable of sitting back and saying "Is he doing something wrong here? Am I really the victim of something here?"
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 11:00 AM
^^^
See philly; here is the thing. This is not a "double standard." It would be a double standard if that guy expected to be on your "friends" list but refused to add you to his (which I don't think is actually possible). People who have no interest in being friends with you do not incur obligations to you because of how unrelated strangers have interacted with you. You seem to think that you can put everyone's behaviour on a scale and work out "fair" and "unfair" and then demand that everyone behave accordingly when that is just not the case. The fact that perverts sought you out on myspace (which is sort of myspace's primary mission at this point) does not mean that middle school friends owe you anything. You seem to think that the fact that you (for some reason) choose to accept strangers means that other people are under some weird, universal obligation to accept you.
That is a good point, and my guy friend brought that up a few days ago when my friends were discussing this...he pointed out that it doesn't meet the "definition" of a "double standard" if it doesn't involve the same consistent person donig both of these things. You and him are right.
However, there WERE a few people that would block me from their Myspace site, but continue to write me messages that were insulting and profane! For example, that kid Ed that wrote off our friendship last year. When you block someone on Myspace, it's a one-way blocking...in order to make it a two-way blocking, the person you've blocked would have to block you back. Also, some of the pervs who got mad at me for telling them to tone down their crassness, would then chuckle, mock, and say "Why are you so 'bent out of shape' that Ed ditched you??" when they heard that Ed blocked me. Granted, not everyone that's a "pervy loser" or an "ignorant blocker" fits in that "double standard" category, but a few do.
Let me put it to you this way: you control your behaviour. Not your friends, not that of people who don't like you, and not strangers on myspace. So their behaviour doesn't dictate yours. Only a child think that they have no choice but to behave the way someone else behaves. The fact that some stranger on myspace feels unreasonably entitled to your attention doesn't mean that you need to feel unreasonably entitled to someone else's. You are still perfectly capable of sitting back and saying "Is he doing something wrong here? Am I really the victim of something here?"
Again, I never used the word victim. However, I agree with what you're saying. Up until recently, I was not assertive enough and I did not feel okay expressing my real needs/desires, for fear of offending or pissing off somebody(my friend M--k STILL has this problem, as you've read in great detail over on the Blue Side already LOL). Until that point, I didn't feel that I was in control of my behavior, as pathetic as that sounds. Last year when I lashed out and started becomming less of a pathetic "nice girl," I actually started doing as you describe and becomming in control of my actions...I started deleting and blocking all the pervs from Myspace without qualms about possibly "hurting their feelings"(even though they obviously had no respect for my feelings, with the pervy messages they wrote). Recently when I noticed that someone was avoiding me, I *blocked* him back on Myspace because if he doesn't want me to try to contact him, then I don't want to be around for when he might try to talk to me. Why should I give some guy the niceness that he won't give me?? So you are absolutely right...sometimes it takes realizing that you ARE capable of your actions. Spineless people that have learned to keep their feelings to themselves for so long, such as M--k and formerly me, sometimes need to learn the concept that you speak of.
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 11:46 AM
Hey PhillyDancer, tbh I was shocked at the responses you got. I don't know what your history is on this site, but I agree with your OP. Disrespect is disrespect no matter the means through which it has been signaled. I do, however, agree with the others that you are starting to write novels at every post in this thread, lol.
Jenny
02-05-2008, 12:23 PM
Philly - none of that is what I meant. When I said that you control your actions what I meant was that the actions, integrity and dignity and lack thereof of other people doesn't define yours and it is a waste of your time and ethical energy to devise a system in which you are balancing your behaviour against that of internet trolls. Okay, look at it this way; if someone blocks you, they are not going to contact you. Why are you blocking them? So that if they change their minds they can see your rejection, so you'll feel like you've got even. This is not strength and this is not confidence. Strength would be being able to disconcern yourself and move on without a hypothetical revenge-block. Think for a minute, not just about this, but everything. You can't make people be polite to you. You can only make people respect you by appealing to what they respect; you can only make people like you by appealing to what they like. You can't force them to like or respect you by sending "assertive emails" demanding explanations as to why they don't like you. You can't make people interested in you by demanding that they justify why they've turned you down - why are you so insistent in trying?
Finally, I'm not going to tell you to internalize all the negative commentary here; but I would like your take on why you think that people have this kind of reaction to you? I'm not asking you to accept it as justified, I'm just wondering if your perception of it is the same as mine.
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 02:17 PM
Okay, look at it this way; if someone blocks you, they are not going to contact you. Why are you blocking them?
Did you not read the part where I explained how that guy Ed blocked me yet continued to write insulting e-mails to me? It does happen sometimes.
So that if they change their minds they can see your rejection, so you'll feel like you've got even. This is not strength and this is not confidence. Strength would be being able to disconcern yourself and move on without a hypothetical revenge-block.
It's not about "getting even," it's the idea that perhaps I do not want to associate with someone that is going to block me or snub me. If it's someone temporarily blocking me because we had a little argument, okay that's laughable and we'll get over it; but if it's someone being two-faced, or clearly disinterested in me as a date/friend/person, etc...then I don't ever want to talk to them. What's so wrong with that? Wasn't it you who said that I should disassociate from these people?
Think for a minute, not just about this, but everything. You can't make people be polite to you. You can only make people respect you by appealing to what they respect; you can only make people like you by appealing to what they like. You can't force them to like or respect you by sending "assertive emails" demanding explanations as to why they don't like you. You can't make people interested in you by demanding that they justify why they've turned you down - why are you so insistent in trying?
Jenny, I understand what you are saying but I am not sure you follow what I actually do. Demanding that these people justify their rejection is NOT what I do. I might complain on this forum or hatebook.com about these peoples' ignorance, but that doesn't mean I actually demand from them. You might be referring to the one time that I asked someone if there was anything in my comment that offended him...I don't see where that is the same thing as aggressive demanding. If you met me in person, you would see my demeanor and you would see that I'm not a demanding person(although I can write some pretty nasty posts...I'm more vicious in writing than in speech ;))
However, I don't see ALL bad in assertively asking someone if they have any kind of problem or gripe with them in some cases. When I was complaining on here about my cousin not inviting me to the wedding, some people(here but also outside SW) told me to call her and politely ask her myself. When I did this, everyone told me that I did the right thing instead of stewing about it. Isn't it a "good" thing to be straightforward? Don't people always tell me "there's no such thing as overcommunication"?
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 02:27 PM
Finally, I'm not going to tell you to internalize all the negative commentary here; but I would like your take on why you think that people have this kind of reaction to you? I'm not asking you to accept it as justified, I'm just wondering if your perception of it is the same as mine.
My take? You can take this at face value, disregard it, or whatever. I don't really care anymore.
- The one guy "Ted" was a geek from college that had a crush on me. My friends seem to think that he started acting cold to me when he realized that I didn't like him back as more than a friend, especially when I was dating other guys. He was friends with an ex that I had a lot of rifts/bad blood with, and after I finished college, he became closer friends with this ex. I know for a fact that this ex was saying a lot of stuff about me, some very untrue(e.g., when he told my new bf that I had "ugly legs" and was "horrible in bed").
- I think this one guy thought I had a "crush" on him or something when he had a girlfriend. Thinking someone is attractive, and wanting them to be your boyfriend, are two different things. I did NOT want him or anybody as my boyfriend. Oh and it wasn't because his girlfriend was jealous...there were plenty of other girls on his profile, and his gf was okay with him doing PORN, so I think it's safe to say that jealousy wasn't an issue.
- There was this guy Dr. Tom, who a lot of my girl friends concluded sounds like a jerk. (before Myspace) One day out of the blue, he blocked me on AIM, told me to stop calling him, and it left me confused because I hadn't done anything wrong. I found out later that the real reason he suddenly disassociated from me was because he wanted to get back together with his ex and he saw no chemistry with us. We weren't even dating at the time, but I think Dr. Tom thought I wanted to or something. During this time, I was penniless/destitute and I KNOW for a fact that that had something to do with Dr. Tom being turned off on me(he was this young hoity-toity PhD college prof in his 20s, so he had a bit of a snobby, shallow view on people who that didn't have their shit together so to speak).
(Looking back at these two, maybe *I* shoulda blocked Ted early on for crushing on me! lol)
- I already wrote about Ed and his brothers and I'm not writing about it again. Overall though a lot of my close friends -- even the ones who are acquaintences with Ed -- tell me that the family doesn't sound like people I should bother associating with.
NOTE: This Myspace thing has only seemed to happen with GUYS. Possibly a guy's gf, who I didn't know all that well anyway(I only knew her thru her guy) so I don't know if that really counts. Yeah so it's been all guys. Guys who I've dated, guys who are friends with guys I've dated, guys who wanted to date me, guys who think I want to date them. Does that account for anything?
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 02:31 PM
Hey PhillyDancer, tbh I was shocked at the responses you got. I don't know what your history is on this site, but I agree with your OP. Disrespect is disrespect no matter the means through which it has been signaled. I do, however, agree with the others that you are starting to write novels at every post in this thread, lol.
Apparently a lot of people like to flame and blame me here. To be honest I only write on here to get my posts up because it's a little game to get my posts up when I'm bored at work. I've had a lot of people be less-than-friendly to me and I wrote a lot about it on this site(e.g., the family members that kicked me out on the streets, or the guy who stole money from me that I had to sue in court) so it's at the point where people are exasperated with my posts about non-friends so they are getting testy and curt now.
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 02:33 PM
LOL...Ok....::)
Jenny
02-05-2008, 02:34 PM
Philly - I meant why do you think people are reacting to you HERE the way they do.
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 02:52 PM
Apparently because we all just LOVE to flame her.
Which doesn't seems to be the case at all. All I've read here is genuine concern, spiked with some sarcasm.
Alaska
02-05-2008, 02:53 PM
You sure are lucky getting a full on analysis of your life on here! Most of can't be bothered with noticing a one-liner;D
britt244
02-05-2008, 02:57 PM
Apparently a lot of people like to flame and blame me here. To be honest I only write on here to get my posts up because it's a little game to get my posts up when I'm bored at work. I've had a lot of people be less-than-friendly to me and I wrote a lot about it on this site(e.g., the family members that kicked me out on the streets, or the guy who stole money from me that I had to sue in court) so it's at the point where people are exasperated with my posts about non-friends so they are getting testy and curt now.
so now that you say that, you really expect people to be all snuggly and nice to you?
Alaska
02-05-2008, 02:58 PM
Okay Philly, for realz---why haven't you started a blog? Then you can not-trim-down as many posts as you see fit, while expressing all your opinions as facts/the truth, and you can even turn "commenting" off? I think even just everyone's responses to you have given you enough fuel as it is.
You seem to have a lot of passion. What would it be like if you stepped outside yourself and channeled that passion to do good in the world, corny as that sounds? You know....stickin' up for rights and whatnot.
paintgoddess
02-05-2008, 03:03 PM
This whole thread = are you fucking kidding me?
Seriously.
stellaforstars
02-05-2008, 03:09 PM
*waits patiently for thread to be closed*
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 03:14 PM
Okay Philly, for realz---why haven't you started a blog? Then you can not-trim-down as many posts as you see fit, while expressing all your opinions as facts/the truth, and you can even turn "commenting" off? I think even just everyone's responses to you have given you enough fuel as it is.
You seem to have a lot of passion. What would it be like if you stepped outside yourself and channeled that passion to do good in the world, corny as that sounds? You know....stickin' up for rights and whatnot.
Actually, my friend Revolution and I do work on political campaigns, which is all about standing up for rights and democracy ironically. And to be honest, I really do not have that much "passion"...if anything, I'm the quiet complacent one at the campaign meetings. Although expressing my opinions isn't 100% accepted on this site, I feel more free to be able to write on here than I do with speaking my opinions at political meetings or with some of my overly-sensitive friends. And that's considering that I've gotten a little better about sharing feelings/assertiveness in the past year or so.
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 03:18 PM
Philly - I meant why do you think people are reacting to you HERE the way they do.
I've had a lot of people be less-than-friendly to me and I wrote a lot about it on this site(e.g., the family members that kicked me out on the streets, or the guy who stole money from me that I had to sue in court) so it's at the point where people are exasperated with my posts about non-friends so they are getting testy and curt now.
That is why...because people are tired of my threads being about people who were mean to me, since it's a redundant theme. They start to wonder if maybe it's me, not them, if I keep writing about so many people that are "mean." Also, I tend to overrepeat things to the point that people wonder if it's because I'm an airhead that "doesn't get it."
I honestly wonder if people here think I'm a little "slow." Heh I doubt anyone even believes I actually went to college(Heh good 'ol Dr. Tom didn't, so why wouldn't anyone else?)
PhillyDancer1982
02-05-2008, 03:19 PM
This whole thread = are you fucking kidding me?
Seriously.
Dude if you don't like it, read another thread instead. If I wanted unhelpful words like this, I woulda posted this in the Insult Nibshit forum.
hockeybobby
02-05-2008, 05:24 PM
This whole thread = are you fucking kidding me?
Seriously.
OMG ;D ;D ;D
(wanders away to get tylenol)
(but continues to bust a gut)
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 05:31 PM
Guys, stop with the mashed potato throwing and meatball catapulting and sardine force-feeding already! We're all friends on here, kay ? Even if you don't feel that way, dancers come here to find relaxation and entertainment, so can we please treat them with a minimum of respect ? Let's ignore the sarcasm and not rise to the bait; most of us have enough drama in our lives already, and if we want more this is no place to get it. Go stir up some shit with boyfriend/husband/random guy at the park and see how long they put up with this behavior. I feel SW is the same.
If someone annoys you, for the love of God please ignore it. By posting how much you disapprove of someone or something, you are just giving that person free publicity, bumping the thread you hate so much, and prolonging unpleasant conversations.
Sometimes, I'm looking at forums on the internet and I'm thinking to myself, why are a bunch of screen names creating so much resistance to one another ? Why are they attempting to hurt one another with so much passion sometimes ? They don't even know each other, and if they did chances are they would probably put their differences aside anyway. SW is the last place on the internet to be unleashing your negative emotions / passive aggressive b.s. / hurtful sarcastic remarks. Can't we all just get along ?:-\
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 05:34 PM
Obviously you have not read the thread in its entirety. MOST of us are trying to get her to snap out of this behavior that is only making her miserable from the sounds of it.
Or maybe she really is just fucking with us to up her post count. And in that case we should feel free to reply with anything we want.
Yanno. To up our post count as well in her little 'game'. ::)
Alaska
02-05-2008, 05:34 PM
^I guess that kinda goes back to OP's point---"it doesn't really matter bc it's the internet" .....some ppl that have objected to the content material in this thread very articulatly, and based on her past posts, I guess it kind of DOES matter (in that internet way)
I just personally love nonsense and beating a dead horse. (JK)
hockeybobby
02-05-2008, 05:37 PM
^^^you're right, I'm sorry PhillyDancer.
Look, you seem like a sweet girl who trys really hard and is passionate. The answers to your questions are all here on this thread. And they are mostly the answers to your other threads too. Read them carefully. Jenny, Kat, Alaska, Darcy and a lot of others are smart ladies. What they are saying to you is true.
hb
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 05:40 PM
But it's only myspace......
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 05:45 PM
Obviously you have not read the thread in its entirety. MOST of us are trying to get her to snap out of this behavior that is only making her miserable from the sounds of it.
Or maybe she really is just fucking with us to up her post count. And in that case we should feel free to reply with anything we want.
Yanno. To up our post count as well in her little 'game'. ::)
I have read the thread. Comments like these:
Wait so what happened...... someone rejected you on Myspace?
That can't be it. IS IT?! That's all???????????? :-\
are off-topic, mocking and moving the thread to an unproductive discussion. Of course, like I said, I don't know what history you guys have.
It seems to me that PhillyDancer has some validation issues, the way she keeps trying to justify herself to all of you. What I'm saying is that, maybe another approach would be a bit more helpful to her. I mean if she has to cite her diplomas, constantly explain that she is or isn't like this or that in real life, and prove to herself that she is right about minor things, maybe that's a clue to us, I don't know. I just...look, I would just be intensely appreciative if people stopped baiting her.
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 05:48 PM
Honestly after this thread, I don't know if I can take her seriously. How do we know she isn't doing all this to create her own made up issues just to 'up her post count'? She sounds bored and quite frankly full of it now that she's been honest about why she posts such numerous 'novels'.
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 05:50 PM
Honestly after this thread, I don't know if I can take her seriously. How do we know she isn't doing all this to create her own made up issues just to 'up her post count'? She sounds bored and quite frankly full of it now that she's been honest about why she posts such numerous 'novels'.
Look, that would just be sad. If people really believed that, they wouldn't be trying to help her in the first place.
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 05:53 PM
I'd believe it. You wouldn't believe the kinds of people we get on here.
TigersMilk
02-05-2008, 05:53 PM
Livefree, TSK is mocking the OP. You've only been around for 9 posts. PhillyD has done this before in previous threads at previous times on SW and I invite you to look too. So this is nothing new to us. Besides, she doesn't have to explain herself or cite her diplomas to any of us. She does this on her own will.
Also, people cannot and will not accept advice from others if they are not willing to at least try to understand the advice given. So, I'm gonna let her be and figure it out on her own. Hopefully, she won't have to live her life dealing with others unfavorable actions in this upsetting manner.
hockeybobby
02-05-2008, 05:54 PM
LiveFree: The post you cite which you consider to be mocking also happens to get right to the nub of the issue in a very concise way. Sometimes adults talk to each other this way too.
If the patient, detailed response isn't getting through...well something more direct may be required. And sarcasm isn't lethal.
hb
Alaska
02-05-2008, 05:56 PM
This is only the internet guys! WTF!
(sike)
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 06:01 PM
ZOMG...:eek:
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 06:05 PM
So, I'm gonna let her be and figure it out on her own.
That's all I'm saying.
Alaska
02-05-2008, 06:09 PM
Thanks for being such a holy roller poster, Live Free! You will find 1,000 avenues to set the record straight on everyone for how it should be around here.
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 06:10 PM
Naw, I just like PhillyDancer and can relate to her on some level.
Jenny
02-05-2008, 06:11 PM
LiveFree - if that is the case, maybe you can consider relating to her under your original screen name?
Alaska
02-05-2008, 06:12 PM
I'm sorry for spam but.....I *knew* it!
Gahh I really am taking the internet way too seriously in my life.
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 06:14 PM
HAHAHAHAHA......
*smirk*
Why do people have to lie? It doesn't help their cause....