View Full Version : "But it's only Myspace" yadda yadda yadda
Andygirl
02-05-2008, 06:16 PM
When you look around at your life and realize that you are having problem after problem with other people, it is time to take a look at yourself instead of pointing the finger at everyone else. YOU are the common denominator in all of these dramatic scenarios.
I really do think that people on here are trying to help you, but after 1564.5 threads about the minutia of your personal life, it gets tiring. And you have a way of writing a novel with every post that you make, giving us every. tiny. detail. Even if I wanted to read every single post you've written in this thread, it would be impossible to keep it all straight.
Look, you seem like a nice person, but at some point in life you have to be introspective and you have to learn to figure things out in your own way. It is part of growing up. Yes, life is difficult at times and we all need someone to lean on, but posting thread after thread (sometimes more than one a day) makes your audience weary. Not everything is a life and death matter, and you need to stop dramatizing everything that happens to you.
This thread is a great example. Why would you care about some meaningless bullshit that happened on My Space? That's not even the real world. When you get so worked up over something so small, I can't help but wonder if you'd fall completely apart if a real problem came your way.
I'm not saying this to upset you, really, I'm not. But it might be time to take a step back from the keyboard, or, at the very least, think about it before you post every detail of your life.
jannisary
02-05-2008, 06:20 PM
Okay, now this thread is interesting!
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 06:28 PM
I talked to Jenny. Long story short I am not PhillyDancer (duh) and I have trouble accessing my 100-something post account. Administration has been contacted. I'm just Sand. See ? No drama lol.
britt244
02-05-2008, 06:34 PM
this is.. just.. wow.
BalletBaby
02-05-2008, 07:42 PM
Wait, so who are you LiveFree???/:O
teh_buttsecks
02-05-2008, 07:44 PM
Shake That Ass Bitch!
BrunetteGoddess
02-05-2008, 07:57 PM
They just said they were 'Sand'.
BalletBaby
02-05-2008, 08:00 PM
They just said they were 'Sand'.
Oh. I thought they were talking about, like, sand on the beach. zomg I'm so dense sometimes:D
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 08:10 PM
They just said they were 'Sand'.
Yes. We represent the Church of Scientology in Stripperdom::) Bow before Xenu!
TigersMilk
02-05-2008, 08:11 PM
^^What? That didn't make sense. She was just pointing something out to the other poster. *scratches head*
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 08:14 PM
Maybe because I'm not an organization, therefore cannot be referred to as 'they'.
The irony of all this is that I thought I was banned for insulting people on SW, and here I am lecturing.....
I still mean what I said though.
Lysondra
02-05-2008, 08:15 PM
Sand is the name of my cat.
...well, while we're being random, I thought I'd participate.
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 08:20 PM
Sand is the name of my cat.
The plot thickens....
Lysondra
02-05-2008, 08:23 PM
The plot thickens....
Yeah well, while you're on the internet, kitty, can you please promise you'll at least stop peeing on the laundry and sleeping on the bird's cage?
God, can't go anywhere online without my cat making new usernames. Pft. ::)
TigersMilk
02-05-2008, 08:27 PM
^^ LOL Your cat is out of control. Whats next for kitty ..run for presidency?
SundayMorning
02-05-2008, 08:28 PM
Maybe because I'm not an organization, therefore cannot be referred to as 'they'.
The irony of all this is that I thought I was banned for insulting people on SW, and here I am lecturing.....
I still mean what I said though.
I'm guessing BG said "they" because she didn't remember off the top of her head if you are male or female (your current name not specifying), hence the gender-neutral "they." Unless you'd prefer "it"?
beauty21queen
02-05-2008, 08:34 PM
This entertainment can only be found on Stripperweb.
LiveFree
02-05-2008, 08:47 PM
I've ruined the thread, haven't I.
beauty21queen
02-05-2008, 08:50 PM
She's not here to "defend herself" sooo...... no.
oohdamnbaby
02-05-2008, 09:16 PM
AndyGirl hit the nail right on the head...
Circe
02-06-2008, 05:10 AM
Um, this thread is pretty convoluted. But I just want to say to anyone that has a similar problem that one shouldn't rule out this behaviour being fueled by a legitimate mental illness.
Before I was treated for anxiety/depression I would obsess endlessly ad nauseam over the most banal, trivial shit. On medication, I can respond to reason and logic and chill....off it I'm anxious obsession girl...I understand finally how "normal" people could just...move on with things.
So yeah, that's something to look into. When you have a mental illness people can tell you to get a grip 'til the cows come home. It doesn't sink in.
SportsWriter2
02-06-2008, 05:47 AM
On medication, I can respond to reason and logic and chill....off it I'm anxious obsession girl...I understand finally how "normal" people could just...move on with things.
Yeah, I once talked a BPD girl out of driving 400 miles to burn a guy's house down because he didn't return her call. :O She thought "normal" people must be brain dead to just... move on with things.
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 11:03 AM
^^^you're right, I'm sorry PhillyDancer.
Look, you seem like a sweet girl who trys really hard and is passionate. The answers to your questions are all here on this thread. And they are mostly the answers to your other threads too. Read them carefully. Jenny, Kat, Alaska, Darcy and a lot of others are smart ladies. What they are saying to you is true.
hb
I appreciate your kind words, HockeyBobby. And I actually appreciated the feedback that people like Katrine or Jenny gave, because it was well thought-out. As much mild amusement that I might find in practicing my rhetoric/rebuttal skills in any way possible and responding back, I'm not completely opposed to hearing opposing views. I just don't like it when people write things that are useless, senseless, and insulting, for example: "this is ludaicrous" or "PD1982, how much crack have you smoked today?" Now nobody said those exact words, but they did say similar things...and I don't feel like using exact words here because then everyone will know exactly which peoples' posts I am referring to.
I will be honest though, I am a little slighted that people perceive me as "trying really hard." Please do not take offense. You cannot help it if that is how you honestly, innocently perceive me. However, I really do not want to be seen as the girl who "tries really hard." I know this sounds negative, but I'd almost rather be seen as "the jerk" or "the slacker" than "the girl who tries really hard but is slow to catch on and/or just doesn't get it." But if that is how dudes perceive me, then please let me know so I can change that about myself. I am constantly looking for ways to change into the person that I WANT to be.
stellaforstars
02-06-2008, 11:10 AM
Oh ffs...
Who ordered a llama?
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 11:29 AM
When you look around at your life and realize that you are having problem after problem with other people, it is time to take a look at yourself instead of pointing the finger at everyone else. YOU are the common denominator in all of these dramatic scenarios.
I actually agree with this, and I already explained in an earlier long post the reasons why I think these guys "blocked" me and didn't want to communicate with me. I'm not going to repost it here, but basically all of the guys who blocked communication from me(not just Myspace) were MALES who were either exes, friends of exes, had an unrequited crush on me in the past, or mistakenly thought I was crushing on them. I'm starting to see some similarities between all these dudes and that tells me a few things about what NOT to do in the future with other guys.
I really do think that people on here are trying to help you,
I actually understand that, and it is evident by some peoples' detailed, well thought-out feedback. I am not naive enough to think that everyone is on my side though(but then again, on what forum do you get 100% approval anyway?), but I do see that if people put effort into writing a several paragraph post with advice, then they're not all bad.
This thread is a great example. Why would you care about some meaningless bullshit that happened on My Space? That's not even the real world. When you get so worked up over something so small, I can't help but wonder if you'd fall completely apart if a real problem came your way.
It isn't Myspace itself that I'd be annoyed about...that's what I was trying to explain in my OP...it's the principle that if someone blocks contact from you and obviously doesn't consider you "worthy enough" to leave modes of communication open on something as "unserious" as Myspace, then this is generally an obvious clue that the person is dodgy or not a "friend."
In all honesty, I write a lot on SW and hatebook.com about these things because it gives me something to do and a place to vent, but that doesn't always mean that I think about it for hours after I leave the computer. When I write about cheerful inane things like VWs or comfortable shoes, the thread usually dies after only 5-7 posts...boring.
Also, writing/complaining about the little stuff sometimes serves as a distraction for the bigger stuff that plagues me in my life. And sometimes the larger things have worn down my patience/tolerance for the smaller annoyances. For that reason, people have frequently commented that I'm "weird" in the way that I have handled big hurdles no problem but then complain about the small things. I'm probably not explaining this right and it probably doesn't make much sense but...
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 11:38 AM
Yeah, I once talked a BPD girl out of driving 400 miles to burn a guy's house down because he didn't return her call. :O She thought "normal" people must be brain dead to just... move on with things.
That's the difference. There's a difference between actually looking to actively DO something(e.g., commit arson to a guy's house) and simply discussing/complaining about it in great deal but looking to do absolutely nothing(i.e., no arson) in real life.
I know I probably have OCD and histrionic personality disorder(thanks to Wikipedia for helping me to self-diagnose myself), but honestly I do not feel that it is right to start discussing "mental illnesses" like that so out in the open and implying that someone has one. I do not feel that doing that is completely respectful nor appropriate.
Jenny
02-06-2008, 11:55 AM
Yeah, I once talked a BPD girl out of driving 400 miles to burn a guy's house down because he didn't return her call. :O She thought "normal" people must be brain dead to just... move on with things.
Yes, we know Sporty. A girl here cannot have a problem without you drawing a comparison to an imaginary stripper with mental health problems who made you the centre of her demented little universe.
hockeybobby
02-06-2008, 12:17 PM
That's the difference. There's a difference between actually looking to actively DO something(e.g., commit arson to a guy's house) and simply discussing/complaining about it in great deal but looking to do absolutely nothing(i.e., no arson) in real life.
I know I probably have OCD and histrionic personality disorder(thanks to Wikipedia for helping me to self-diagnose myself), but honestly I do not feel that it is right to start discussing "mental illnesses" like that so out in the open and implying that someone has one. I do not feel that doing that is completely respectful nor appropriate.
There's no shame in having a problem or being a little different PhillyD. Lot's of people here struggle with problems. And it's perfectly alright to discuss them openly, that's how you work through them.
I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I've noticed that some of the things you ask about seem kind of teenager-ish and trivial. It seems odd to me that you would be concerned about those types of things. I admit though, that it gives your online personality a certain charm, and uniqueness.
Lots of people here are willing to take the time to help or coach you PhillyD, because they can see that there is a sweet naive girl underneath the crazy snubbery talk. Some won't take the time, and some will flame a bit...don't take it personally. ;)
hb
ellebelle
02-06-2008, 12:24 PM
Self-diagnosing mental disorders on the internet really isn't going to help much when you fail to accept that you are not always right.
It's ok to be wrong sometimes. Admitting it is when we become stronger people. All I've seen in this thread is you (PhillyDancer) nitpicking at trivial nuances in peoples posts desperetely trying to move that you are right, and that anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. You don't always have to be right.
Everyone you have ever encountered in your life does not need to be on your myspace friends list. Especially guys you know through your ex. Sometimes you just need to cut your ties, and realise not everyone in the world is going to be your friend. When you cut your ties with an ex its common social grace to let them keep their friends.
You worry about looking like a try hard. Maybe you would be happier if you took a step back and let some things go.
hockeybobby
02-06-2008, 01:09 PM
Self-diagnosing mental disorders on the internet really isn't going to help much when you fail to accept that you are not always right.
It's ok to be wrong sometimes. Admitting it is when we become stronger people. All I've seen in this thread is you (PhillyDancer) nitpicking at trivial nuances in peoples posts desperetely trying to move that you are right, and that anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. You don't always have to be right.
Everyone you have ever encountered in your life does not need to be on your myspace friends list. Especially guys you know through your ex. Sometimes you just need to cut your ties, and realise not everyone in the world is going to be your friend. When you cut your ties with an ex its common social grace to let them keep their friends.
You worry about looking like a try hard. Maybe you would be happier if you took a step back and let some things go.
^^^This is good advice PhillyD. Think of the wise old question "would you rather be happy, or right?" You know, we all kind of start out happy, and we pick away at that over time by believing some of the crazy thoughts that pop into our head. You know, like so and so snubbed me so I must be a worthless person...that kind of thing. Trying to prove to everyone that you are right will suck the energy, and the happiness out of you.
hb
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 01:14 PM
Lots of people here are willing to take the time to help or coach you PhillyD, because they can see that there is a sweet naive girl underneath the crazy snubbery talk. Some won't take the time, and some will flame a bit...don't take it personally. ;)
hb
Please do not take offense to this, but I DO take the "sweet naive" thing to be a slight insult(even though it was unintentional on your part) and an inaccuracy that kinda peeves me. Naive is not how I am. I have lived in the ghettos of all ghettos in my city, I've witnessed a fair share of death around me, I've been arrested before, I've had my fair share of experimentation, I've had at least a few pregnancies, etc...and other things that I really do not feel I should discuss here(I think you'll agree with me). Part of the reason why it pisses me off when people mistakenly call me "naive" or "sheltered" is because I feel that I am not getting credit for all of the shit that I had to go through...I mean, it's crappy enough that I had to go through shit, but I could at least get credit for being experienced as a result of it, you know?
But if that is how you guys are perceiving me, then perhaps I should reevaluate the way I write, the things that I write about, and the way that I might come off as a result of my writing style.
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 01:26 PM
Whoops, I posted the same thing twice by accident. Sorry!
hockeybobby
02-06-2008, 01:53 PM
But if that is how you guys are perceiving me, then perhaps I should reevaluate the way I write, the things that I write about, and the way that I might come off as a result of my writing style.
PhillyD...first of all no offense taken. Secondly, that was just MY take on things, not speaking for anyone else...and I'm not some kind of smartypants that's right about everything either. Maybe naive was a poor choice of words to describe your personality. I'm sorry, and no offense meant PhillyD.
May I suggest, if you are going to reevaluate things, that you consider the things that happen that bother you or make you feel bad. Is it really a bad thing that's happening to you, or is the way you are thinking about it the real problem? That's all.
Oh, one more thing...if you keep writing as much as you have been, I expect you'll become a very good writer in time. Practice makes perfect ;)
hb
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 01:55 PM
It's ok to be wrong sometimes. Admitting it is when we become stronger people. All I've seen in this thread is you (PhillyDancer) nitpicking at trivial nuances in peoples posts desperetely trying to move that you are right, and that anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. You don't always have to be right.
In reality I do *not* think that I am always right, and if that is how I come across, then I apologize. I do not want to be seen this way, especially since it is not completely accurate. There were plenty of times in this thread where I agreed with something someone was saying(I do not know if that counts as "not always being right" though?), or I noted that they had a good point.
When you cut your ties with an ex its common social grace to let them keep their friends.
I agree with you. I've had guy friends that included their girlfriend in with their big group of buddies, but then after they broke up, his friends no longer stayed her friends(they didn't snub her completely or anything like that, they just didn't stay as close).
In the case that I mentioned, however, I was actually friends with these guys for years before the now-ex came along, who I myself introduced/reunited them with...so that is why I was a bit appalled. (I don't know if that makes any difference or not, but I figured I'd mention it)
You worry about looking like a try hard. Maybe you would be happier if you took a step back and let some things go.
Maybe I should do that. Perhaps I am contradicting myself by trying too hard to verify things to the very people that I don't want to look like a "try hard" in front of. I have a few close friends that do this very thing and I'm always telling them not to do it, so perhaps I should step back and take some of my(and your) advice.
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 02:22 PM
PhillyD...first of all no offense taken. Secondly, that was just MY take on things, not speaking for anyone else...and I'm not some kind of smartypants that's right about everything either. Maybe naive was a poor choice of words to describe your personality. I'm sorry, and no offense meant PhillyD.
HockeyBobby, don't worry I know you didn't mean offense(hope I mentioned that before). It's just a generalized pet peeve that I've had over time. I've had a lot of people mistake me for being more naive or sheltered than I actually was, for example acquaintences who wrongly assumed that I come from a rich family and that I "still live at home and my parents pay for my sportscar" when in reality I've been on my own for a while now and my parents wouldn't let me move back home even if I wanted to. Perhaps I'm a bit salty about being called "naive" more than a few times after some of the stuff that I had to go through(I'm not looking for sympathy, just wanted to explain my logic). I feel the same kind of annoyance when people unintentionally mistake my friends too, e.g. people always seeming to think that my friend M--k is "gay" or "slow"(as in, belongs in special ed), too.
I tend to write a lot because I have a tendency to be overthorough. LOL if you think I write a lot here, you should see just how much I write to the employees that I train at work. When I have to evaluate an employee's progress or explain all the steps involved in how to use a software program or how to do a certain work assignment, I am VERY thorough and I make sure I don't leave a single detail out. Ironically, I haven't had any employees complain about this...if anything, they seem to like my doing this(according to their feedback) because I break things down so that there's nothing ambiguous. Not saying that I should always overexplain everything to a T. Perhaps I should try to be more concise.
VenusGoddess
02-06-2008, 02:31 PM
I wasn't going to say anything, but I just cannot NOT say something.
What is it about you and drama? You say how much you hate it, but you post about drama-filled situations all the time.
Just accept the fact that you love drama and be done with it. These posts that go on forever about how you don't like drama, and you don't deserve to be treated the way you are being treated by people you don't consider really worthy of your time so you make huge, long posts about how they are not worth your time and yet how they still treat you so bad...
*sigh*
The drama will end as soon as you stop being Drama Queen.
SportsWriter2
02-06-2008, 03:15 PM
A girl here cannot have a problem without you drawing a comparison to an imaginary stripper with mental health problems who made you the centre of her demented little universe.
Well, yes, it was one of her half-dozen imaginary characters who wanted to light it up. Sixty spent some time in her demented little universe as well. :O
My point was that Philly isn't that badly off in the spectrum of possibilities. She just needs to let the game come to her. I like her fashion sense. :)
Almost everyone has some mental health challenges. Sometimes you have to step back and take a detached look at your behaviors. :-\
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 04:19 PM
I wasn't going to say anything, but I just cannot NOT say something.
What is it about you and drama? You say how much you hate it, but you post about drama-filled situations all the time.
Just accept the fact that you love drama and be done with it. These posts that go on forever about how you don't like drama, and you don't deserve to be treated the way you are being treated by people you don't consider really worthy of your time so you make huge, long posts about how they are not worth your time and yet how they still treat you so bad...
*sigh*
The drama will end as soon as you stop being Drama Queen.
Admittedly I do find drama/gossip interesting and perhaps I am a drama queen/gossip whore LOL. Perhaps my affinity for drama is indication that I really have been bored and listless lately.
LiveFree
02-06-2008, 04:22 PM
Admittedly I do find drama/gossip interesting and perhaps I am a drama queen/gossip whore LOL. Perhaps my affinity for drama is indication that I really have been bored and listless lately.
Let's end the thread on this note.
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 04:45 PM
that, and the fact that you reply to literally each and every post. every one. in a new post of your own, even if that means posting 3 times in a row. but i guess thats just another tactic to up your post count ::)
When I respond to "each and every" post, it is because I am trying to give everyone feedback and responses. Isn't that what a discussion forum is for?
The reason why I will make a new post for each response is because I try to separate out my responses instead of making one huge one. As you and a bunch of people already were so quick to point out, my posts are long enough. I'm trying to break it up a bit and besides, sometimes it doesn't seem fit to write responses to two completely different posts within the same post. It's a similar concept to the way books are divided into chapters or sections.
hockeybobby
02-06-2008, 05:15 PM
PhillyD...somebody has to be the Drama Queen here. Hell if you're gonna do it anyway, you might as well embrace it and feel good about it. Personally, I'm going for the title of Suck-up King.
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 05:48 PM
^ LOL!
PhillyDancer1982
02-06-2008, 05:58 PM
that, and the fact that you reply to literally each and every post. every one. in a new post of your own, even if that means posting 3 times in a row. but i guess thats just another tactic to up your post count ::)
Come to think of it, if I really cared all that much about "upping" my post count, wouldn't it be a lot more efficient and quicker to write short posts instead of long posts in paragraphs? ::) Point is, I said the thing about "upping my post count" mostly in jest...and hopefully people realized that after taking a quick look at how lengthy and responsive a good number of my posts are. If other people can poke fun, so can I.
I can understand that some of you don't want to read through several paragraphs in a post, especially if you guys read SW after a long tiring night at work, but what is the big stink about long posts?(this seems to be a common mocking that I get here) If anything, short two-word posts can be even more annoying, and probably are nothing more than an effort to spam a site or "up" a post count. Super-short posts tend to be overly ambiguous and do not contribute as much thought to a thread. They leave a lot of good information out that might be helpful to other SWers. I think too-short posts are annoying.
stellaforstars
02-06-2008, 06:05 PM
The big deal is not with one or two long threads. It is the fact that you seem to be unable to write anything BUT a novel of a thread. Try some two word posts now and then. There's nothing wrong with being succinct when being long-winded is completely unnecessary. The great majority of your posts in this thread argue the exact same points and, yet, still every one of your responses is ridiculously long.
When, oh when, will this thread be closed? I know I should just stop reading it, but it's like a train wreck. I can't seem to look away.
PaigeDWinter
02-06-2008, 06:20 PM
I swear the herd gets larger and larger....
http://operachic.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/04/otehdrama.jpg