View Full Version : lame dance moves
ellebelle
02-19-2008, 08:42 AM
I've seen lots of less than spectacular dancers do flips and cartwheel type things towards the pole in their shoes. I've also seen a few miss :/
I never used to understand the lean with you back arched against the pole and pose move until I started dancing. I thought it looked ridiculous. Now it's like my staple move because I get tired and its easy.
Susan-Va
02-19-2008, 09:35 AM
Worked with one girl who would get on all fours, doggy style and lift one of her back legs and shake, like a dog taking a piss. It got so bad that the DJ's would play "Who let the dogs out" for her, she never caught on.............
Daisa
02-19-2008, 10:38 AM
Hehehe... I never had enough boobage to do this, but guys do like it (and girls putting the pole b/w booty cheeks). Trying to understand the male brain is wacky.... you might think "tacky, lame" a guy will think "hotness!"
::)
I'm sorry...but I absolutely HATE it when a girl slides the crack of her ass up and down the pole. I could care less that they are wearing a thong. Remember that there are other girls who have to use that pole behind you...I don't care how good your personal hygiene is, I do not want to put my hands around something some girl just slid all between her ass...and it isn't practical to assume the pole can always be cleaned between dancers...
Also, I could not even BEGIN to tell you how many times I have been sitting with a customer when a girl does that exact move onstage and the guy randomly informs me that he finds nothing sexy about it at all.
Another gross move would have to be the chick that will pick up just any random guy's (who just happens to be sitting at her stage) beer bottle and then proceed to perform fellatio on this poor dude's beer. At first she'll lick it, but eventually she's down to the business of deep throating, as if she's giving a blow job to the bottle. I'm not quite sure why she can't pick up on the mens reactions to this. While there are a handful of custies who may appreciate this, any idiot can see that the majority of her victims are not happy with the fact that some girl they've never even met has just transferred her saliva all over their $5.00 beer. Most of them order another when she's done.
CuriousSeeker
02-19-2008, 12:48 PM
... and made angry faces to go with it. She alternated between lip synching and growling while pretending to claw at guys faces. She chronically had the constipated look of death on her face. Dudes would cringe at the sight of her. A few even jumped back.
Constipated look of death! HOT! ;D I'll need to try that whilst pairing with jazz hands.
dollyrocker
02-19-2008, 12:57 PM
Or one jazz hand while you do the crabwalk!
sxybrat07
02-19-2008, 01:01 PM
So, there was this girl that worked at my club for awhile. She had what we called the 'scary ass'. She would shake it, but never pop or clap it, just kind of jiggle it in all sorts of directions.
She was really spastic. She'd run and jump on the pole full force and do all these cool pole tricks that ended up looking like crap because she was..well...spastic.
But, the worst...we have a bunch of bars on the ceiling, they're in a square around the pole, and you can use them to pull your self up, hang on, whatever. She would pull herself upside down, hang upside down on them, shake her ass then crawl around on them upside down while singing "spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does" from the Simpsons movie. Customers actually come in asking for spider pig girl ::)
sassysummer
02-19-2008, 01:10 PM
I would love to see karaoke & stripping at the same time! Sounds cool...
oh, then you must come to portland! we have stripparaoke! i myself have seen our very own susan w. sing karaoke as strippers got naked around her, lol
http://www.myspace.com/devilspoint every sunday!
But, the worst...we have a bunch of bars on the ceiling, they're in a square around the pole, and you can use them to pull your self up, hang on, whatever. She would pull herself upside down, hang upside down on them, shake her ass then crawl around on them upside down while singing "spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does" from the Simpsons movie. Customers actually come in asking for spider pig girl ::)
:spit:ok, i literally lol'd on this one! spider pig spider pig...omfg! that's effing HILARIOUS!!!
LuckyOne
02-19-2008, 01:19 PM
she danced to angry metal... and made angry faces to go with it. She alternated between lip synching and growling while pretending to claw at guys faces. She chronically had the constipated look of death on her face. Dudes would cringe at the sight of her. A few even jumped back.
Constipated look of death! HOT! ;D I'll need to try that whilst pairing with jazz hands.
So glad I read this thread. Even happier I don't do anything on the list. lol!
xoxoGracexoxo
02-19-2008, 02:56 PM
She would pull herself upside down, hang upside down on them, shake her ass then crawl around on them upside down while singing "spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does"
Aw, now that's adorable. I would have tipped her.
I worked for a few days at an all-nude club in Boston where one girl would squat down and sorta squeeze and milk her outer labia until milky fluid dribbled onto the stage. To me it said nothing but "yeast infection" but I guess everybody's gotta have a gimmick.
RoseWhite
02-19-2008, 02:59 PM
^^^^ What. The. Unholy. Fuck???
AudreyLeigh
02-19-2008, 03:00 PM
Ok, there is an ex-feature at my old club who shall go unnamed. I don't know if there is a name for this move, but I will try to describe it as best I can: She lays back on the stage with her legs up in the air and spread, and sort of propping herself up with her arms. She then swings her legs (which are again, spread eagle) up and down and proceeds to scoot forward toward the custy by this momentum. It is so freaky and not so attractive. It looks like a crazy spider with giant bolt ons and britney extensions is coming to get you and I want to run away.
Ive seen a few girls do this. I never got it....
holiday
02-19-2008, 03:31 PM
I see a lot of girls who think they are shaking their asses, when really they're not. I always cringe when I see that. It's like, don't they know that they aren't doing it right?
There is also a dancer at my club who licks the heel of her shoe. :O Doesn't really look sexy to me.
sun child
02-19-2008, 03:36 PM
Milk her labia?! Oh dear god. Dear god.
mollyzmoon
02-19-2008, 04:56 PM
If I pulled my inner labia to their fullest, I probably could tie them in a knot. As it is I just push them up inside. I'm guilty of wrapping my boobs around the pole. My boobs are all I've got, so I pretty well do whatever I can to showcase them. I don't frenetically titty-fuck it though.
I think the lamest dancer move I've seen was a girl who robo-marched around stage in a half daze. It was weird. She'd get on her back and robo march her legs in the air as well. She looked like one of those wind-up walking dogs that fell on its side. And then she'd get up all mechanically...plus the look in her eyes...the whole effect was like "does not compute, zizzzt". Hard to describe. Imagine the tin-man in a bikini.
Polekitten
02-19-2008, 05:57 PM
Holy shit, you knew Veri Knotty? http://www.efukt.com/view.php?id=1746
Im speechless...
DanceLunaDance
02-19-2008, 06:11 PM
I'm really not into the girls that loudly clack their shoes together while on stage. This is so jarring to my ears!
PleasureVictim
02-19-2008, 06:28 PM
[QUOTE=sassysummer;1409895]oh, then you must come to portland! we have stripparaoke! i myself have seen our very own susan w. sing karaoke as strippers got naked around her, lol
http://www.myspace.com/devilspoint every sunday!
QUOTE]
Yeah Portland appears to have really great stripclubs and dancers. I wish I fit their niche market...I'd be over there having lots of fun! I gotta visit as a custy one day.;D
LuckyOne
02-19-2008, 06:29 PM
Holy shit, you knew Veri Knotty? http://www.efukt.com/view.php?id=1746
Now thats talent.
Lysondra
02-19-2008, 08:23 PM
I'm really not into the girls that loudly clack their shoes together while on stage. This is so jarring to my ears!
I clack my shoes loudly on stage... but not together. I actually do it by reallyreallyreally quickly, while laying down, slamming both shoes into the stage behind my head (meaning I have to get both legs behind my head quickly to do it).... I'm pretty sure it looks stupid now that I think of it, hahaha. But the guys like it.
Lysondra
02-19-2008, 08:23 PM
Im speechless...
I'm speechless by her attitude. Such a N-yawker.
Kaiyla
02-19-2008, 09:18 PM
Worked with one girl who would get on all fours, doggy style and lift one of her back legs and shake, like a dog taking a piss. It got so bad that the DJ's would play "Who let the dogs out" for her, she never caught on.............
Ack!! I worked with a girl who did this too. It just looked wrong. It looked kinda stank, actually. She'd do it as she walked over to the pole though. Just pause and lift the ol' leg to the side like a dog, and stay that way.
Another chick I worked with would lean forward and (I think unconsciously) dangle her arm limply. We called her Chicken Little since the way she held her arm looked like a chicken wing.
mina loy
02-19-2008, 09:38 PM
one of my signature moves is kind of lame and usually gets either laughs, cheers, or claps. usually laughter because it's so ridiculous.
after doing the inchworm/cat stretch down the pole i put my hands on the ground and keep my legs and feet up on the pole and start doing pushups, usually on the second one i push up really hard and fast and clap my hands together. that has earned a few $20 bills in tips.
my stage name is elizabeth and i'm surprised the dj hasn't announced me as "lizzy the lizzard", as i do pushups just like lizards resting on a hot rock.
Lysondra
02-19-2008, 09:44 PM
one of my signature moves is kind of lame and usually gets either laughs, cheers, or claps. usually laughter because it's so ridiculous.
after doing the inchworm/cat stretch down the pole i put my hands on the ground and keep my legs and feet up on the pole and start doing pushups, usually on the second one i push up really hard and fast and clap my hands together. that has earned a few $20 bills in tips.
my stage name is elizabeth and i'm surprised the dj hasn't announced me as "lizzy the lizzard", as i do pushups just like lizards resting on a hot rock.
When I'm working in clubs I totally do that!
And if I'm doing private parties I backflip onto the guy, body slide down his body and then do pushups with my ankles on his knees.
mina loy
02-19-2008, 09:51 PM
^backflip onto the guy? is he knocked over completely when you do that? it sounds scary!
Lysondra
02-19-2008, 09:58 PM
No, I do it lightly. They're alwas surprised because I have my legs in the air doing tricks when I 'fall' on them, though.
mina loy
02-19-2008, 11:13 PM
well, that's good!
misslizzy
02-20-2008, 03:52 AM
Man, I'm so glad all I'm guilty of in this thread is the occasional crab-leg transition or heel clack (but only in clubs where other girls do it).
I think slapping one's own ass is silly. The only other dance trick I can think of that bugs me is when it's a dead sort of night with only a few guys, and there's chicks getting it on on stage. How pointless; save it for a full club or the dressing room.
Susan Wayward
02-20-2008, 04:03 AM
Yeah Portland appears to have really great stripclubs and dancers. I wish I fit their niche market...I'd be over there having lots of fun!
No niche market! There are alllllll kinds of women here. I previously thought it was Suicide Girl Central but it is not so. You'll see when you come out.
I've never seen anyone do that. Although many years back I worked with a woman who tie her inner labia in a knot on stage. Yes. really. Seriously. No kidding.
You know that I had to try this.
Ladies, with your permission I would like to reenact as many of these as I possibly can and capture them in photo and video form for our collective amusement. Now to print this out and take it to work with my camera tomorrow . . .
sassysummer
02-20-2008, 10:45 AM
ditto what susan said....there is no niche market here in portland. there is every kind of sc you could imagine!
Morgan_TX
02-20-2008, 10:54 AM
Another gross move would have to be the chick that will pick up just any random guy's (who just happens to be sitting at her stage) beer bottle and then proceed to perform fellatio on this poor dude's beer. At first she'll lick it, but eventually she's down to the business of deep throating, as if she's giving a blow job to the bottle. I'm not quite sure why she can't pick up on the mens reactions to this. While there are a handful of custies who may appreciate this, any idiot can see that the majority of her victims are not happy with the fact that some girl they've never even met has just transferred her saliva all over their $5.00 beer. Most of them order another when she's done.
I admit to doing this, BUT only with MY beer. And I tend to get VERY good reactions... When I used to have bikers fill my bar on Saturday night, I could sit at the end of the table giving a blow job to my beer bottle and they'd keep throwing money down the table to me. The most I ever made from that was about $40.
Kind of like Pavlov's dogs, I guess... Keep throwing money at me and I'm going to keep doing it.
SundayMorning
02-20-2008, 11:00 AM
In honor of this thread...
Daisa
02-20-2008, 11:01 AM
I admit to doing this, BUT only with MY beer. And I tend to get VERY good reactions... When I used to have bikers fill my bar on Saturday night, I could sit at the end of the table giving a blow job to my beer bottle and they'd keep throwing money down the table to me. The most I ever made from that was about $40.
Kind of like Pavlov's dogs, I guess... Keep throwing money at me and I'm going to keep doing it. to do it with your own beer is one thing...I can totally see why they would like that. To pick up a different random customer's bottle every time you hit the stage...that's what I'm talking about.
xoxoGracexoxo
02-20-2008, 11:15 AM
Holy shit, you knew Veri Knotty? http://www.efukt.com/view.php?id=1746
That. Is. The funniest thing I have ever seen.
*prances off, singing the Captain Lust theme song*
PleasureVictim
02-20-2008, 04:59 PM
ditto what susan said....there is no niche market here in portland. there is every kind of sc you could imagine!
Good to know! *Adds Portland to my future travel list*
AkashaM
02-21-2008, 03:44 AM
i saw a girl "krump" onstage once. the bouncers were imitating her all night. lol
if you saw the movie "rize" by david lachapelle then you know what i speak of...strippers neednt krump.
Kaiyla
02-22-2008, 08:40 PM
^That is just horrible. Seriously. So unsexy. I would have laughed my ass off though if I had seen it.
Jenny
02-22-2008, 09:11 PM
No niche market! There are alllllll kinds of women here. I previously thought it was Suicide Girl Central but it is not so. You'll see when you come out.
You know that I had to try this.
Ladies, with your permission I would like to reenact as many of these as I possibly can and capture them in photo and video form for our collective amusement. Now to print this out and take it to work with my camera tomorrow . . .
I actually think there is one of those 10 minute films in this - like one of the ones they play between movies on the movie network. But it will never show you dancing. Just walking onstage and then it is all audience reaction.
Come on. I'm an artist.
paintgoddess
02-22-2008, 09:16 PM
We had a girl that couldn't do the bootie clap, so she bent down and used her hands to shake the front of her things and get her ass moving. She got made fun of SO badly in the dressing room.
At another club with runway stages, one of our more high-energy girls would run to the end of the runway, leap, and grab the soffit and swing out over the floor. I was seriously waiting for her crack some poor douche in the face with her stripper shoes or impale him in the eye with his own beer. Tarzan.
BalletBaby
02-22-2008, 09:26 PM
. It looks like a crazy spider with giant bolt ons and britney extensions is coming to get you and I want to run away.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
And I totally know the move you're speaking of.
CuriousSeeker
02-22-2008, 11:11 PM
i saw a girl "krump" onstage once. the bouncers were imitating her all night.
I would have paid just to watch the bouncer re-enactment.
PhillyDancer1982
02-24-2008, 01:10 PM
I've never seen anyone do that. Although many years back I worked with a woman who tie her inner labia in a knot on stage. Yes. really. Seriously. No kidding.
Ugh is there an emoticon that represents vomiting?
Alia_of_the_Knife
02-28-2008, 06:17 PM
Worked with one girl who would get on all fours, doggy style and lift one of her back legs and shake, like a dog taking a piss. It got so bad that the DJ's would play "Who let the dogs out" for her, she never caught on.............
It was like a piece of skin over her ass bone, and she'd try and do the booty clap.
i saw a girl "krump" onstage once. the bouncers were imitating her all night. lol
if you saw the movie "rize" by david lachapelle then you know what i speak of...strippers neednt krump.
I have LMAO at this thread so hard. Probably the worst thing I have seen was this girl who dancing to Show Stopper by Danity Kane and for the line "go jiggle them keys" she actually took out a pair of keys and jiggled them. It took us weeks to get over that.
iambonbon05
02-28-2008, 08:58 PM
Not really a lame move but I had to post about it somewhere. One of the girls at my club figured out how to put her feet behind her head... when she's hanging on to the pole :O
sun child
02-28-2008, 09:56 PM
^ Whoa. Tacky or not, that's talent.
Lysondra
02-29-2008, 01:56 AM
Not really a lame move but I had to post about it somewhere. One of the girls at my club figured out how to put her feet behind her head... when she's hanging on to the pole :O
I can do that!
ColetteCalahan
02-29-2008, 02:24 AM
Ugh is there an emoticon that represents vomiting?
http://planetsmilies.net/vomit-smiley-31.gif
tie her labia in a knot, you say?? wow... i actually would like to see that!
MonicaF
02-29-2008, 02:38 AM
I used to think it was stupid when girls would just lay on the floor almost their entire set shaking/jiggling their spread legs in the air. Seemed like some guys liked it though. Whatever.
CherryBomb954
02-29-2008, 05:42 PM
I saw this thread a while back and couldn't think of anything to contribute....Then today I heard "Du Hast" on the radio by Rammstein and I remembered one...
I used to work with this girl who played nothing but Rammstein for her stages. At first she would dance normal, then halfway through the song she would start waving her arms in the air like she was directing a symphony orchesta. She would also make these weird faces as she was singing along, only wide-mouth opera style, very dramatic. It's a hard thing to describe so I hope you can can generate some kind of visual in your mind of this one.
MysteriousMystery
02-29-2008, 05:48 PM
hahaha! i saw a girl once and her whole dance was: her back facing the audience, then she would walk side to side almost like she was trying to line dance.. but it wasn't a line dance..just walking.. she never did turn around..not once! lol!
thechaosfairy
03-01-2008, 12:05 AM
Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
You've been siglined! ;D At least, if I did it right. If I did it wrong, you haven't.
Apparently, I did it wrong. Oh well...