View Full Version : Young mothers...should you have waited?
AlexxaHex
02-21-2008, 07:39 PM
Then don't read them but don't bother commenting on them either. Simple as that. For someone who is bitching about me derailing a thread, you had to contribute to the derailing by writing the above quoted paragraph. Seriously. Don't you need to run off and devote all your time to your kid like you claim in your post?
EDIT: It seems that you're the one with the multiple paragraph posts. Look at the last 2 posts you made on this thread. >:(
It's hard not to come across like 20 posts per thread of yours that all start with "I can relate to that..." and then it's followed by your life story, most of it having to do with M--k or whatever. It just gets really tiring having to scroll through it all. You don't even have kids. I don't know why you feel the need to contribute to this thread so much.
I am lucky to be able to pump breast milk about 10 times a day and read stripperweb while I do it because the pump as at the computer desk. I don't know what your excuse is but I don't care. I'm done with this thread and I'm putting you on ignore.
Flick6
02-21-2008, 07:47 PM
It's hard not to come across like 20 posts per thread of yours that all start with "I can relate to that..." and then it's followed by your life story, most of it having to do with M--k or whatever. It just gets really tiring having to scroll through it all. You don't even have kids. I don't know why you feel the need to contribute to this thread so much.
I am lucky to be able to pump breast milk about 10 times a day and read stripperweb while I do it because the pump as at the computer desk. I don't know what your excuse is but I don't care. I'm done with this thread and I'm putting you on ignore.
god bless ignore i say!
leilanicandy
02-21-2008, 07:53 PM
I am a young mom. I think it is good to plan for your children. Yet If I did not have my babies young. I would not have any children. I am now not able to have anymore babies. So if it is ment to be let it be! Being younger your body bounce back faster. Child birth is very hard. Many think of the risk, as a daily task. With all the techonolgy in place. I almost died giving birth at the age of 21. So I say it depends on your health and other things. If having children young or old will be bad for you!
MsQwerty
02-21-2008, 08:04 PM
Hmm, It would be nice to see more imput from women who were young mothers, or at least mothers... ::)
High_Heel_Lover
02-21-2008, 08:15 PM
I was 22, it was not planned to have a child, I didn't want children period but it happened. I wish I could of finished college. I wish I had more money. I wish, I wish, I wish but I do not regret. My children are my best accomplishment and they have given me a life I can't see myself with out.
Yes parenting is difficult and parenting at times can have you pulling your hair out but the moments where you hear your child look at you come over for no reason and say "I love you mommy" gives you a hug and a kiss makes me realize that what good would it have been to have a better body when it won't tell me it loves me and appreciate all the work I do for it.
Now I do say if you can wait and do a few things in life that you really want to do like study, travel and whatever that with children it is a real challenge because even with out at time sit is hard then do so. You are young and although no one knows how long we have on this earth try to plan things out they way you want them for when you do have your kids you at least have that "I did this before and I'm glad I did" because once you have children your life is no longer about you it is about them.
I wish you the best in your decision.
StarryEyes
02-22-2008, 02:35 AM
I know deep in my heart that even though my son was a surprise, he came into this world right when it was time for him to do so.
I was 27 when I had him. Not too old, not too young. I'm glad I had him when I did. It was meant to be and I think it made me grow (up) in ways I couldn't without him.
I will have more kids, but not until I get married, settle into a more permanent home, and stabilize my career.
I didn't have it together when I got pregnant, but I GOT it together and things are looking great. My kid has truly been a blessing. I'd do anything for him. He's worth it.
PhillyDancer1982
02-22-2008, 09:11 AM
It's hard not to come across like 20 posts per thread of yours that all start with "I can relate to that..." and then it's followed by your life story, most of it having to do with M--k or whatever. It just gets really tiring having to scroll through it all. You don't even have kids. I don't know why you feel the need to contribute to this thread so much.
I am lucky to be able to pump breast milk about 10 times a day and read stripperweb while I do it because the pump as at the computer desk. I don't know what your excuse is but I don't care. I'm done with this thread and I'm putting you on ignore.
Spoken like a true stereotypical young parent who thinks that they can talk down to me simply because I don't have kids. ::) I do not claim to know everything about kids, nor do I claim to know more than people that have kids, but don't talk down to me like I know nothing. Just because I was unlucky enough to miscarry like 10000 times, doesn't mean that I'm completely naive. Also, like you, I spent a lot of time babysitting/caring for much younger siblings while growing up.
Surprised I wasn't already on your ignore list ::) Go ahead, I don't care. Apparently I'm on Ed's "block" list too(yet he still sends me harassing messages...the wonders of one-way blocking on Myspace).
PhillyDancer1982
02-22-2008, 09:30 AM
god bless ignore i say!
Go ahead...nothing stopping you from ignoring/blocking me too. Apparently everybody else already has. I have quite a few people on block too. I just don't go around flaunting it like A.H.(until now, that is...but even now, I'm hush-hush on whom I actually have on block).
thickienikkie
02-22-2008, 09:36 AM
Go ahead...nothing stopping you from ignoring/blocking me too. Apparently everybody else already has. I have quite a few people on block too. I just don't go around flaunting it like A.H.(until now, that is...but even now, I'm hush-hush on whom I actually have on block).
I send them private emails...lol
MsLayne
02-22-2008, 09:45 AM
Recently My clock has been ticking I'm 20..... 21 tomorrow * heyyyyyy* bank night fosho....
anyways I always wanted to have my babies young so by the time I'm 40 I can enjoy my middle aged sagging self and be "free" of changing diapers driving to practices ect. My mom did that and she's so happy, we're grown and self-sufficient and she can enjoy the rest of her life. She had my sister( who's also a dancer) and I, back to back from 18- 22 years of age. She's beautiful ( shit mama could dance her self, don't play lol). What do you think, specifically speaking to the mothers and will it effect my dancing? I plan to be very careful about my weight gain, Stretch marks ect and most definitely if the girls go south I will have a lift if absolutely necessary.
But I do want a lil bambino..... sighs...
I hope you dont plan on having kids with the same "loser" that you were talking about breaking up with earlier.
thickienikkie
02-22-2008, 09:47 AM
I hope you dont plan on having kids with the same "loser" that you were talking about breaking up with earlier.
oh nooooo girl never him.
Indira
02-22-2008, 10:48 AM
In my opinion, perhaps in my own experience- I feel that some time in mid- late twenties you go through sort of a transformation. IOW at 21 you are a way different person than you are at say 27.
One of the MOST important things is that you are emotionally stable and financially stable. Equally important is that you are in a stable relationship. Not for 6 months, but more like a few years. It takes a long time to get to know someone and only time and life expierences will let you get to know a person. I highly recommend for that reason that you have a few kid-free years with that person. That way in addition to getting to know them, you can have fun, adult intimate time. Not saying that once kids are in the picture you can't have those times but it will be less. Pregnancy and young children can add different stress to a relationship. That is why it is important to know the person well and have a solid history with them. It is also important to find a mate who comes from the same sort of background as you, that way you will proberbly have the same morals and values which is sooo important in raising a child.
In terms of dancing when you have children it is possible and sometimes is the perfect job when you have little children, it can be difficult at times. I have danced pre kids and post kids.
I used to think the same as you, that I wanted children while I was young- like my mother. I didn't and am glad I waited.
I have been in the same relationship for 13 yrs have a 8 yr old and a 1 yr old. Kids are wonderful but make sure you are ready and realistic. When you do have children you will want the absolute best for them.
OMG I do sound like a mom lecturing! LOL! Hope this helps.
thickienikkie
02-22-2008, 10:51 AM
It does..... thank you!
PhillyDancer1982
02-22-2008, 10:53 AM
Don't worry, Indira, you do not sound like a mom lecturing. I actually found your advice very helpful and I agree with it. :) What you said makes a lot of sense and I think your post is very well-suited for this thread.
It only sounds like lecturing if someone condescendingly acts like you don't know "anything" at all about the subject matter, or acts like they're a know-it-all on the basis of one thing.
thickienikkie
02-22-2008, 11:15 AM
Don't worry, Indira, you do not sound like a mom lecturing. I actually found your advice very helpful and I agree with it. :) What you said makes a lot of sense and I think your post is very well-suited for this thread.
It only sounds like lecturing if someone condescendingly acts like you don't know "anything" at all about the subject matter, or acts like they're a know-it-all on the basis of one thing.
agree with this as well
Indira
02-22-2008, 11:23 AM
PRE KIDS and working.....
Get up whenever............
lay out at the pool for hours to work on my tan
tanning has tired me out....time for a nap
wake up
get a big fat juicy hamburger and a coke..and still a flat stomach
have sex with hubby
get ready for work while blaring my stereo
POST Kids and working
get up with the baby at 7:00
really need to go to the tanning salon -but no babysitter...sunless tanner it is..
cook, clean, diaper change...cook clean diaper change....Only I am not eating
no nap....
MMM....eating big fat juicy steamed veggies...(now anything else makes my not so tight stomach bloated)
ask hubby to run up to the store- almost out of diapers
Listen to the baby monitor while quietly trying to get ready for work.....
LOL....like I said, possible but a little bit more difficult
Indira
02-22-2008, 11:35 AM
BY-The- Way
Diaper bags are great as a dance bag....lots of different compartments
I have been using one for years.
Nina77
02-22-2008, 12:47 PM
My first baby was at 18. By the age 24 I had 4! I love my babies but of course it hasn't been easy. Especially with their father being military and going away for months/year at a time. Who btw I married when I was 17 cause we were soulmates and all that, but now we're separated.
You just don't know what the future holds. I'd say wait till you're married and have a house. But no one can tell you what to do.
Just know that having kids does change your life dramatically.
If you have a kid right now- will you love your kid to death and find a way to still be happy and successful in life? Probably.
If you wait till you're older, settled, married, house, career, whatever- will you be happy? Probably.
If you're a strong person who genuinely would want and take great care of a baby- either way it'll work. But it's definitely the "smarter" thing to wait.
It's not so much about age- I'm sure we all know 30 year olds who shouldn't be having kids.
But it's about where your life. Finish school, be in a good strong healthy relationship for awhile, then think about it.
Good luck.
glitterbaby
02-28-2008, 10:13 PM
DONT RUSH! i had a baby at 20 and i have missed out on so much. i wish i had waited and enjoyed my 20's. instead my party years are spent changing diapers and listening to annoying crys, endless whininig, and the never ending demands of a child.
WAIT! Travle! party! enjoy the quiet time when your alone, because when you have a baby u dont get that luxury.
NekkoStarz
02-28-2008, 10:48 PM
I really have to agree with sassysummer. I'm only 22 & I have a 19mo old daughter. And although I too, would lay down my life in less than an instance for my daughter & she's my EVERYTHING... I really had wished I waited. I even married my best friend & he got a great job.... But we've had some horrible fights & we're going through counciling (sp?) now & blah. I also get sad & jealous when my friends call me telling me this & that about being soooooooo care free & partying & traveling. ........ I'm even jealous of my brother who's a broke college student. I SAY WAIT.