View Full Version : Depression Support and Recovery Thread
R-209
04-30-2008, 05:35 PM
I started taking Cymbalta about a year ago after reaching a critical point with anxiety and depression. I think it's helped some with the physical symptoms, but not so much with my depression and social anxiety. At least I don't wake up at 3 AM every morning with my heart pounding out of my chest anymore.
I would like to try to get off of it too, but I feel awful when I skip it even for a day- like someone is reaching into my skull and wringing my brain like a sponge. But lately I feel that its effectiveness is beginning to wear off, and it's too expensive to keep taking if it's not helping anymore.
I know I need to see a doctor regularly again and look into therapy and different meds- but that's definitely easier said than done. I'm afraid nothing will work and I'll be stuck like this forever...
Electrum
04-30-2008, 07:04 PM
Cymbalta sounds horrifying. Please be careful if you're weaning yourself off of it. Sophia, it sounds like we could be having similar reactions to our meds. Mine is an SSRI though, and from what I just read cymbalta is a SNRI, so I'm not really sure what the difference is exactly. But I just lowered my dose (without a doctors suggestion but fuck 'em) and the mania subsided almost instantly. I have a feeling that my med isn't as crazy as cymbalta though, so if you're lowering your dosage by yourself just please make sure at least someone knows what you're doing so they can help watch for any weird side-effects. That's some scary shit. I really hope you two feel better.
Samba
04-30-2008, 10:33 PM
I feel like maybe the tide is finally turning on my depression. I'm doing little things I haven't been able to do for months. I'm getting out of the house more. I went to the library and checked out a bunch of books. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but it means I'm actually interested in something.
Of course I started on an antidepressant a month ago. If I could force myself to get out, and interact with people, and take care of myself I wouldn't be depressed, but I can't. Every time someone acts like people should "snap out of it" I want to chase them down the street and yell at them.
If I could snap out if it it wouldn't really be depression now would it??
Even if it is a pill helping me right now, I'm grateful for it.
Sophia_Ashley
04-30-2008, 11:23 PM
I researched the crap out of cymbalta and saw the withdrawal, I've not been on it long at all so I'm just going off of it cold turkey. I have enough xanax I can ward off some insanity.
Thank you for your concern and I hope you are doing well too!
R-209
05-01-2008, 11:04 AM
If I could force myself to get out, and interact with people, and take care of myself I wouldn't be depressed, but I can't. Every time someone acts like people should "snap out of it" I want to chase them down the street and yell at them.
I feel exactly the same (except maybe replace "yell at" with "strangle"). If someone says why don't I just "get over it," I'd like to respond with "for the same reason you just don't lose weight!" or other appropriate insult. Lately I've been trying not to be so much of a shut-in, but there aren't a lot of options in a small town. Interacting with people in general (I call them "Normals") is extremely draining and stressful for me.
I'll occasionally take a Xanax, too, but it has unpredictable results. Sometimes it does nothing, other times half a pill will knock me out. At worst I have crazy dreams where I realize I'm dreaming but can't wake myself up.
I'm really liking this forum as the people here are very open-minded and non-judgmental. It took me forever to work up the nerve to start posting, and I go over everything I write about twenty times to make sure I don't accidentally make myself look silly.
Electrum
05-01-2008, 11:08 AM
^^OMG Xanax did the same thing to me! It gave me the WORST night terror in my life. You know, where you don't know you're dreaming and you cant fucking move. It was so scary I wont even repeat what I saw, but wow, I had never heard of it fucking with peoples' dreams before.
And yeah, people who say "get over it" and whatever else obviously have no fucking clue what they're talking about. You should NEVER tell a depressed or mentally ill person to "get over it." You might as well tell an anorexic to eat a cheese burger or an alcoholic to just stop drinking. Grrrr! That makes me so angry :(
(And I also go over what I write a billion times, and then as if that wasn't good enough I obsessively edit my posts at least twice lol.)
Sophia_Ashley
05-01-2008, 12:02 PM
an ex and I are close friends and I "thought" he was on Cymbalta for depression or had mentioned something about it so I emailed him and asked him about it. He wrote back 3 days later of course lol and said that the first week he felt a lot like I have, like he was coming off a bad acid trip. Which is EXACTLY how I feel. Of course I don't want to call my DR and say " yeah this stuff makes me feel like I'm coming down off of acid..." lol. I didn't take it today, I woke up sorta half depressed ( I have PMS ) and elated. Like how I felt prior.
I won't lie, I want to be on cymbalta. I want to be on something that will help me live at a constant speed rather than having LONG days of feeling like ass.
Or where my OCD is so bad I can't leave my house. Example, I got fired last night. And I'm going to have to go try out at a new club. Yesterday I was just going to get in my car and go. Today without the cymbalta I am going to have to pluck hairs, make a list...(budget what I need) and paint nails again and trim my hair. I'll obsess and do it all evening,...then clean my house again. It sucks. My small tasks at hand are HUGE now because I have no way of curbing it.
As far as xanax goes, I have 2mgs. But I don't take it all at once. I'll take a quarter if I feel an attack (.5 mgs) or half to a full at night and pass out. I cannot function on it. I sleep like a baby on it, but I have panic attacks when I'm asleep or falling to sleep so it curbs it.
iambonbon05
05-03-2008, 03:32 PM
I don't think I've posted here yet but I just need to vent. I am in such and awful funk right now I just can't pull myself out. Today has been a very good day but I just can't give a shit. Now my friend's in town that I haven't seen forever and I don't even want to leave the house to see her.
I hate this :( I need to go back on something, bad.
Electrum
05-03-2008, 03:40 PM
^^ Before I was on medication I used to experience this a lot. I don't know if this would work for you, but it was a temporary fix for me: drink a lot of caffeine. Coffee, energy drinks, even chocolate. That always helped me kinda "self medicate" out of the funk. It didn't always work, but it was always worth a try.
iambonbon05
05-03-2008, 03:53 PM
Ha, it's funny, that's EXACTLY what I was going to do, before I checked back on this thread.
Velvet cheesecake mocha from Coffee Culture, GET IN MAH BELLY!
... another sign that I don't give a shit today: I had panda express and now am going to buy a fattening drink. I was going to buy clothes that I shouldn't get too but ran out of time. This is bad for my body and my wallet, too. Oh well.
R-209
05-03-2008, 04:13 PM
Too much caffeine usually ends up making me irritable, but what does help is:
1) Regular exercise- For the past week or so I've been forcing myself to work out every day, no matter how I'm feeling. After an hour on the elliptical machine, I usually feel better than when I started. If nothing else, it gives me a sense of accomplishment.
2) Sunlight- It's amazing what a difference a sunny day can make (too bad they are so rare here). A couple weeks ago, there was one perfect day- not too bright, just the right temperature, no clouds, and a gentle breeze. I felt like the scene in Superman Returns where he flies above the clouds to heal from kryptonite poisoning in the sun. I got more done that day than I had in the previous month.
The next day, it snowed.:-\
Sophia_Ashley
05-03-2008, 05:16 PM
While too much caffeine does make almost everyone a dickhead (the come down) let me just say i'm the nicest most pleasent person on the face of this planet when I've had a 2 shot cafe vanilla light frap with no whip lol. For 6 hours I'm nice. then I'm pissy and sleepy which is where xanax and bedtime come in. So I guess it all evens out.
Today on a whim, and because I had a weird/bad start to the day. I hadn't taken cymbalta in 2 days and said ..eh I wonder if I take it today if I'll feel anything from it. Because the first day I took it I felt a jolt then it hurt my guts ..and I was happy all day. The days following sucked though.
Today I took it, and my throat hurts?! Which is sooo weird because my ex said that was his adjustment complaint. Nothing else. I feel literally no different. So basically the stuff isn't for me. Yes I know basing it off of a week of use it's fair but none the less.
I think I'll stick to my starbucks million dollar drink on bad days, the tanning bed twice a week and xanax to chill out.
iambonbon05
05-03-2008, 10:23 PM
2) Sunlight- It's amazing what a difference a sunny day can make (too bad they are so rare here).
Normally I notice a big difference too, but knew it was a bad day today when I felt crappy after being out in the sun for a couple hours :-\ normally I feel great. Sunny days are quite rare here too.
Electrum
05-04-2008, 10:09 AM
^^ I know that sunlight is supposed to make us feel better but for some reason I've always been the opposite. I mean, I know that sunlight makes me feel physically better, but stormy, rainy, and dull overcast days make me feel very mentally relaxed. (Except for the occasional severe weather where I fear for my life lol.) Of course I live in the Northern Hemisphere where things like SAD are pretty common, so maybe I'm just used to being a cave dweller.
Genevive
05-08-2008, 02:37 PM
I just found this thread and I see myself in alot of the posts here. I've been battling depression and just recently went off Lexapro because I can't afford it. I was helping me get up and go, but I began having panic attacks which I still have. Now I'm stuck on the cycle again getting all worked up to do something (like go to work), not doing it feeling like shit and eating a lot of cake.
I went back to having the problems I had in the first place agoraphobia, ptsd, being stuck in space, scared of everything, talking to myself (I try not to do that around people and the longer I hold myself back from doing it the more intense it is when I let it out).
I'm thinking that it was a bad idea to go off my meds. I'm pissed at myself because I was convinced I didn't need them. This isn't the first time I've done this.
Now I don't know what to do...
Sophia_Ashley
05-08-2008, 03:16 PM
^I'm right there with you today. I could have wrote everything you wrote verbatim. You aren't alone trust me. I haven't left the house in days and I have to start at a new club. I can't even manage to get dressed and I'm hiding from my phone among other things. So stupid. I can't begin to tell you how broke I am. It's senseless yet I can't make myself do shit.
Blech. I do have meds here so I took one today and hopefully I can convince myself to stay on them for awhile.
R-209
05-08-2008, 05:19 PM
Agoraphobia/SAD makes me feel like a mime doing the "glass box" routine; I want to get out, but there's an invisible barrier stopping me.
I also have some fear of accidentally blurting something out in public, like a line from a movie I saw or whatever's going through my head when someone snaps me out of my trance to talk to me for some reason. I've considered carrying a Bluetooth headset around so I could say I was actually talking into that, and not to myself.:)
Electrum
05-08-2008, 05:47 PM
This might sound like I'm joking, but I'm not. I thought talking to yourself is normal? I mean, I guess it kinda depends on the conversation you're having with yourself, but I never cared about others hearing me talk to myself. I think it might have something to do with me being an only child. We're usually lonely people that amuse ourselves in odd ways lol. Seriously though, I thought it was something a lot of people do. In fact, I've observed that the smarter and/or more successful someone is the more likely they are to talk to themselves or talk themselves through a process.
Now of course it's different if, let's say, you're talking to the little man who lives in the back of your throat, or something. But I think you guys probably understand what I'm trying to say!
Genevive
05-08-2008, 07:48 PM
I too am an only child, Electrum. I guess it's just one more thing for me to feel shame about. There's no little man or anything like that, lol, just talk to myself and sometimes I live out/relive situations in my head and it gets so intense that I find myself talking. It may be related to the Agro, because I have to really battle with my mind to keep it from chasing me out of a room of strangers sometimes.
Sophia, we are in the same funk, unfortunately. I'm currently have a financial crisis as well and about to either lose or give up my house, though I'm not entirely sure which. It's like I lost track of time, urgency and organization. I've been in Vegas for a week to work and I only worked 1 time because the biggest battle was getting my mind right to even get to the club in the first place.
It strange because I go through that from time to time with dancing and I tell myself that I just need to "rip of the bandaid" and get back into it. Once I get there it will be easy. That effing bandaid must be superglued on or melted onto me sometimes I swear...
R-209, I know what you mean about that box. I hate that box. I often visualize smashing my way out.
Anyone develop any little "fix it" habits? For example, I have loaded up my Ipod with sermons and spoken word to use as motivation which helps a bit. Some of my fix its hinder me and get in the way of my progress though. Its a slippery slope...
Sophia_Ashley
05-08-2008, 08:17 PM
Me too !!! ^ I need to move and ...lets just say I need a LOT of money this month and I've got nothing but time on my hands. Its sickening that I'm just sitting here.
My "fix it" starts with coffee. I swear by it, I go to starbucks and load up on the unhealthy shit then come home and start getting ready. IT gets me through the first 2 hours so I can GO to work. Because like you that's my issue, I'm fine once I'm there.
Then on the way to work sometimes I pick up a bit more caffiene if I need it. Usually just having a scheduled start to my day works.
BalletBaby
05-08-2008, 10:28 PM
I haven't taken my meds since Sunday....but I don't feel any different.
RoseLeigh
05-10-2008, 12:09 AM
I think there's something to this whole seasonal depression thing. I try to see as little sun as possible :)= but since the clock went back I've been slowly feeling better. Stressed, brain dead and crazy tired but that's school. Something's slightly physically better that hasn't been since they turned the clocks the last time. Hmmm. I hate the clock turny.
Sophia_Ashley
05-10-2008, 12:18 AM
Ugh my moods are so fucking up in the air. I hate this shit. I'm going to color my hair tomorrow, get some fake fucking nails lol...yes I'm doing this all DIY fuck it. A spa day in my god damn apartment and some starbucks in the AM. Maybe this will give me some sorta jolt.
Lets hope
Electrum
05-11-2008, 02:45 AM
I sunbathed today for the first time this spring and it was very uplifting. But I've been having some crazy mood swings lately. I don't know what's up. I'm FINALLY done with school so I don't feel as stressed, but my body is acting really weird. I even took a pregnancy test 'just because' I was freaking out so much since I'm also late.. but I guess it's just stress? I'm like a week or two late but not pregnant... Can extreme exercise make you miss a period? I've been being drilled at pole class and forcing myself to exercise almost every day for a couple weeks. I don't think I've ever exercised so much in my life lol. Maybe my body just isn't used to it? It's weird because my mood swings are very PMSish but no period....
(And I've been eating A LOT to make sure it's not lack of food.)
R-209
05-11-2008, 07:41 PM
I decided to try skipping a pill, and less than twelve hours later my brain feels as though it was replaced with electrified superballs. I passed out for a while and had some crazy, crazy dreams. Not disturbing, but weird.
I should probably keep taking this stuff until I can talk to a doc about switching to something else.
BrunetteGoddess
05-15-2008, 10:21 PM
Fucking fabulous. R does NOT understand severe depression. He said "Well you just need to want to be happy. If you want be be happy and not depressed, then don't be depressed!"
Yeah. Like I WANT to be this way. I should be able to just flip a switch. No matter that severe depression runs in my family.
Does he think I haven't tried to just "be happy" and "don't be depressed?" Oh my gawd, I try to do that every day! I can only dream of my life without depression. Get this fucking dark cloud away from me!
Sometimes I feel like I'm going mad. That I'll fucking freak out on somebody. My temper has been hard to control lately.
*)(&*^%$#@
[email protected]!#$%
R-209
05-16-2008, 09:46 AM
Depression is hard for non-sufferers to understand. Other people can snap out of a bad mood and don't realize it isn't that simple for us. This is a disease, like any other. The only difference is that it doesn't seem as tangible as other illnesses. Would someone tell an alcoholic to "just stop" drinking? Or tell a wheelchair-bound person that they could walk if they just tried hard enough?
There is more awareness of mental illness in recent years, and the media has helped to remove some of the stigma, but it's a bit of a double-edged sword. Now people think you can just take a pill and that will solve everything.
Definitely relate with the temper issue. Woke up in a good mood for the first time in ages this morning. It was a glorious, sunny morning- about the only thing that can actually chase the depression away- but by 9AM my dark cloud was back with furious little thunderbolts.
I hate other people.
BrunetteGoddess
05-17-2008, 03:02 PM
Today is a decent day. Even though I got bad quality sleep, I feel calmer. Even when some things were said that I was annoyed with, it didn't get to me nearly as much and I was able to keep my cool.
How long will it last?
R-209
05-19-2008, 04:18 PM
Anyone ever try one of those lamps that are supposed to simulate natural sunlight, like this?
http://www.amazon.com/OTT-LITE-TrueColor-Portable-Task-Lamp/dp/B000140KDW/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1211238521&sr=8-1
I find that it helps me wake up better on dreary mornings. Can't really carry it around with me, though...
smartcookie
05-19-2008, 06:05 PM
Hi y'all:
There's a documentary airing on PBS this Wednesday, May 21st, Depression: Out of the Shadows.
Here is the link:
Electrum
05-25-2008, 04:30 PM
Ok- I'm starting to feel depressed and anxious again. I upped my dose on my zoloft but it doesn't seem to be helping. Maybe it's just situational and it's normal to feel this way? I'm really pressured for money, need to find a new place to live SOON, have little food, have no cat food, have no gas, and I'm basically just freaking out.
I'm finally calling the clubs and asking about auditions. I've been taking my sweet ass time doing this for multiple reasons, but now I believe I'm as prepared as I'll ever be. Now I'm just praying that I'll make some money and not fuck up since I'm new. I honestly can't afford to leave the club in the negative. I have maybe two dollars to my name right now.
I'm so worried about everything right now. My family is basically depending on me to get this dancing job. If I don't then we're pretty much fucked. I'm sure I'll get the job, but what if I hate it? I've pretty much assumed this whole time that this is the perfect job for me, and if not, at least it's better than McDonalds...
All my depression symptoms are coming back. I feel panic when I'm alone (which is a majority of my time), and I have little motivation to even clean. I feel fat and gross even though I'm fucking hungry as hell. I just want to be high or drunk. This sucks! I keep on calling what friends I have but I think they're getting weirded out by me calling all the time this past week. I act all happy around them because, well, I am happy when others' are around me. But as soon as I'm alone I start freaking out again.... I NEVEr used to be like this. I used to LOVE being alone. Gack... I dunno... just... pray I get the job! Or rather, pray I get off my ass this week and go audition!
TheSexKitten
05-25-2008, 05:58 PM
I'm really sad right now. My birthday is tomorrow and my mom hasn't called yet. I still have no way of contacting her and I'm worried she's forgotten my number and that I'll never talk to her again. Mother's Day was hard enough. It just hurts.
Electrum
05-25-2008, 06:18 PM
^ I'm sorry to hear that. Mother's Day is a trigger day for me too, for different reasons, but shitty nontheless. I hope you feel better tomorrow! I'm just trying to convince myself that my feelings are only fleeting and temporary, but today seems to be a shitty day for everyone I know struggling with depression. I dunno what's up.
TheSexKitten
05-25-2008, 08:34 PM
Yeah, that's weird. Sorry Mother's Day was bad for ya too. :(
I have this guilt complex because I wish I had taken care of her better since I love her so much, but then I have to remind myself that she's been like this since I was 16 and a girl that age is not equipped to handle a woman who has Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, and several cognitive disorders. But I just wishwishwish she would somehow give me a call so I could give her money and drive her to get her meds and give her a place to stay and apologize for the times I lost my temper. :'(
I think I might try calling the police station and getting info. This has been really killing me to the point where I start tearing up at the most inappropriate times
Electrum
05-25-2008, 08:58 PM
^ Sounds like you should find her. I actually know a lot of how you feel. I used to get really angry at my mom for saying I was lying about some of the crazy shit she used to do. Not entirely her fault, more because of her mental problems. I don't think she's ever been properly diagnosed, but she has had paranoid delusions and hallucinations before. I would basically be traumatized from my mom freaking out and then when she was "normal" again she would say I was lying about it and that she isn't "crazy." Now I have a better understanding of what was going on. I don't know if I ever really apologized to her for the anger. It's a good idea.
TheSexKitten
05-26-2008, 10:56 AM
^^^ Wow, yeah that's actually really similar to our dynamic. She'd go all hostile on me, calling me names and calling the cops on me "stealing from her" and stuff like that, and then she'd forget and be nice again, so when we'd talk the next time I'd still be kinda pissy because she would rarely apologize.
R-209
05-28-2008, 04:48 PM
Hi y'all:
There's a documentary airing on PBS this Wednesday, May 21st, Depression: Out of the Shadows.
Finally watched this. Had to take a break after twenty minutes because some things hit a bit close to home. I learned that intrusive thoughts (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts) were a recognized phenomenon and often occur with depression.
Overall I think this would be more valuable to those family members/friends who have difficulty understanding what it is we go through.
Electrum
05-28-2008, 05:13 PM
^^ I wasn't aware that intrusive thoughts were found in depression. I thought that was OCD again (I was diagnosed with OCD as a child, but I thought it 'went away'), but it would make more sense to be a part of my depression since I don't really fit the bill for OCD anymore. I was maybe misdiagnosed with it as a kid.
It's really interesting to me that "blasphemous religious thoughts" are considered intrusive thoughts. While this is a bit humorous to me, it also rings very true. I've had these types of thoughts for awhile and it's comforting to know that even Saints and Martin Luther suffered from them. Although I've always taken humor in a lot of disturbing things, when they become intrusive that is a much different story.
justtobenaked
06-03-2008, 01:43 AM
I just found this thread. I know I suffer more depression before that time of the month, but lately it seems to consume my every thought.
At times I feel all alone, even though I have my kids.
Most time I am scared because of all that weighs on my shoulders.
Everyday I deal with the anxiety of whether I am accepted by others (kids included). T
hese emotions are hindering my relationships in my life. I have alienated myself from having girlfriends in fear of being accepted. I want to constantly watch over my kids and this has caused me to be a hermit in more ways than one. I am content with it, until the house is quiet and I am alone. Their father goes as he please and sees nothing wrong with that and that angers me! Why he is not at their plays or band recitals?? Why is what he is doing more important...won't this affect them? I am constantly having these thoughts...I have no interest in taking medication.
I come from a large family whom has only come to visit me and my children about 3 times since 2004, yet I would visit them almost weekly. With gas prices I can no longer afford it...yet they refused to hear this and now no longer call us...I I know this is why I hold onto my kids so closely, because they are there...but something has to give..maybe I just need more excercise to improve my moods..
xcuzmylife
06-07-2008, 02:27 PM
I have suffered from "depression" for much of my life. At 15 I was hospitalized for anorexia and depression. I was put on a tricyclic antidepressant as that was the treatment at the time and it treated add as well. I stopped taking the meds because they caused tremors.
Fast forward 15 years. I had been on Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Cellexa and Lexapro. None worked for me. I was put on Paxil. Paxil nearly killed me. I became an alcoholic who always had to be the life of the party. I could drink for 12 hours if I didn't pass out. I was always highly agitated. I had always been a doting mother to my child. While on Paxil I couldn't wait to drop her off with my parents so I could begin my next adventure. I could go on but I'm sure you all get the picture. Coming off of that stuff was hell. I vomited constantly, had awful headaches, couldn't get my head off the pillow and felt like I was being shocked. I felt complete rage for over a year after quiting that drug. Glaxo is being sued for saying the crap wasn't addictive.
I went to an actual psychiatrist (I'd always been treated by family docs). He asked me a ton of questions and asked me to elaborate about my experience with Paxil. He told me that SSRIs can place a person in a manic state if the person is Bipolar. Turns out I am Bipolar II. I have been put on an anti-seizure med called Lamictal. I am now able to sleep at night after suffering from insomnia for years. I have a 4.0 in school (I'm even comprehending Algebra) and am up to par as a mom. I do worry about the two years that I wasn't there for my daughter and hope that she forgives me.
I don't like my diagnosis but am happy with my new meds. Maybe my next 30 years will have less mountains and valleys and more plains.
Im normally not in this section (but I should be).
But... today was just rotten. I went to my best friends grandma's funeral. It was so fucking awful to see her gone! This is the same lady who babysat me and my sis when we were babies. I loved this woman as much as a grandmother. She was so wonderful.
Not only that, just the cries from everyone, the sadness... it was just overwhelming.
Now I have an uneasy feeling.
I just wanna cry and go to sleep.
I sunbathed today for the first time this spring and it was very uplifting. But I've been having some crazy mood swings lately. I don't know what's up. I'm FINALLY done with school so I don't feel as stressed, but my body is acting really weird. I even took a pregnancy test 'just because' I was freaking out so much since I'm also late.. but I guess it's just stress? I'm like a week or two late but not pregnant... Can extreme exercise make you miss a period? I've been being drilled at pole class and forcing myself to exercise almost every day for a couple weeks. I don't think I've ever exercised so much in my life lol. Maybe my body just isn't used to it? It's weird because my mood swings are very PMSish but no period....
(And I've been eating A LOT to make sure it's not lack of food.)
Oh yes... stress can make you skip a period. I have times where I will skip 2 weeks at a time. Its annoying because then I go buy a test, then I get the bitch a few days later.
But I have noticed, the later the period the worse my mood swings.
I hate feeling like this.
Electrum
06-11-2008, 11:13 PM
^^ I just thought that I'm always stressed out in some way so missing a period because of stress would be a first. My period always seems to be irregular and I still haven't figured out why. I've been tested multiple times for STDs that can cause irregular periods so I know it's nothing like PID and whatever else, so I think I have some sort of hormonal imbalance or deficiency. I always had irregular contractions during labor too, so maybe that's a clue. They had to give me something to make my contractions regular both times.
I also wonder that if I do have some sort of hormonal problem, if that is a cause of my depression.