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View Full Version : My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day



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RandomUser
03-20-2008, 12:16 PM
Cerously, time to shoot him and put him out of his misery. It would be the merciful thing to do.

Kidding, kidding.
You need to send M--k to the SC to pay for attention...after you help him get a job that pays decently. He's a LOSER!

Laugh!

I can identify with this guy. Phillydancer, he probably has you on a pedestal. My first impression from the story,is that he might be pining for you and thus can't be straight up honest for any other girl. He has to learn to say "Fuck it" and start looking out after himself. Stop living in his imagination.

But confidence sells in many ways. He has to become confident about himself. That means for men, going to the gym for weights or martial arts, drinking with the guys, becoming an expert in something like movies, and architecture, something he could enjoy. He needs to voice some opinions and stick to them.

He should go to a SC and spend all of his paycheck someday. I still think he is hung up on you. Push him into a stripper or a prostitute, though he probably won't like them as much as you. If he is being submissive send him to a dominatrix.

I would reccomend the Dale Carnegie books and the wealth pdf here on the site. However you can't make him drink. You can give him tools, but he has to want to use them. If he is unable to do so, he has some sailing to do without you before he rights his ship. In that case the most you can do is find his strengths and give him positive compliments about it, but if you are the only one doing it he will project his identity onto you. You will need boundaries.

xdamage
03-20-2008, 02:02 PM
Has M--k been to see a therapist? It may be time for him to go.

I mention this because while you are being a good friend, it is a different relationship with a therapist and apparently, per your own multiple posts, he is not really getting much better with your assistance. Nothing wrong with that. A new, third party, who he views in a new, professional way, could have dramatically better results for him.

If he wants quick results, I almost hate to recommend it but I've read a lot of people who felt EMDR therapy (see http://www.emdr.com/) helped them quickly and re-learn new habits fast. I couldn't tell you if it is valid, or placebo effect, but there is an argument to be made that it doesn't matter as long as the person thinks it is giving them results and change behaviors and feelings. Once their behaviors change, their life changes, and so in the end, it's all the same. If it works, it works.