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Golden_Rule
03-20-2008, 03:58 PM
Has it been obvious to anyone else besides me that there are a goodly number of dancers that seem to have an awful lot to say about other dancers? Especially in regard to how they conduct their business, and what perceived impact it has on them.

Hasn't it occurred to these dancers that the best have the level of their game on a fine edge and play the game according to their rules, at their comfort level, and bank regardless of what is going on around them or what any other dancer might be doing?

When I see or hear comments of this nature the first thing I usually think to myself is, "There's a dancer who doesn't have her head in the game. So busy thinking about what everyone else is doing that she doesn't have her mind on her own business. No wonder she doesn't make any money."

Bob_Loblaw
03-21-2008, 12:10 AM
This applies in every work environment. There's always a group of people who do nothing but whine and bitch about their coworkers, the rules, the system, etc. instead of working hard and earning their pay, bonuses, promotions, reputation. These people do not succeed nearly as much as the ones who keep their nose to the grindstone, mind their own business and concentrate on their own job responsibilities.

mr_punk
03-21-2008, 02:48 AM
Has it been obvious to anyone else besides me that there are a goodly number of dancers that seem to have an awful lot to say about other dancers? Especially in regard to how they conduct their business, and what perceived impact it has on them.DP (dancer politics) is like background noise. it's everywhere. fortunately, like background noise, one becomes inured to it and can focus on more important things like counting the salt crystals on a pretzel.

Hasn't it occurred to these dancers that the best have the level of their game on a fine edge and play the game according to their rules, at their comfort level, and bank regardless of what is going on around them or what any other dancer might be doing?<shrug> they are who we thought they were.

When I see or hear comments of this nature the first thing I usually think to myself is, "There's a dancer who doesn't have her head in the game. So busy thinking about what everyone else is doing that she doesn't have her mind on her own business. No wonder she doesn't make any money."when i hear comments of this nature the first thing i do is (a) pause to see if they're joking. (b) give them a double-take when i realize they're not joking (c) chuckle and go back to watching the ice cubes melt in my drink.

This applies in every work environment.sure, but unless you work in a sc. you don't work with strippers. their unsolicited office politics isn't your concern nor should it be unloaded in your lap. but hey, you know these girls.

Katrine
03-21-2008, 09:13 AM
Then don't fucking read the pink boards arsehole. Its a place where the strippers can vent and receive support. You should know this...women and men communicate differently. If a women is complaining, she isn't usually interested in a solution-oriented response. She wants support and empathy. How does anonymously bitching about a co-worker on an internet forum affect her work at the club?

Strippers aren't always busy every second they are at work. There is time for observation. It doesn't indicate anything about her ability to do well at her job.

yoda57us
03-21-2008, 01:30 PM
Has it been obvious to anyone else besides me that there are a goodly number of dancers that seem to have an awful lot to say about other dancers? Especially in regard to how they conduct their business, and what perceived impact it has on them.

Women always have a lot to say about other women GR. Strippers are no different.


Hasn't it occurred to these dancers that the best have the level of their game on a fine edge and play the game according to their rules, at their comfort level, and bank regardless of what is going on around them or what any other dancer might be doing?

I'm sure it has with many of them. Hasn't it occurred to you that what you are reading in pink is a group of anonymous women speaking anonymously about the things that bug them at work.


When I see or hear comments of this nature the first thing I usually think to myself is, "There's a dancer who doesn't have her head in the game. So busy thinking about what everyone else is doing that she doesn't have her mind on her own business. No wonder she doesn't make any money."

Well, there are definitely some women like that INSIDE the club. I don't think most of them post on SW since they are too busy bashing each other on Strip Club List.com to come over here.

If you don't want to know about what women really think when they are not trying to get you to spend money on them it's best if you just don't read in pink. No one up there is trying to impress you. That's not what the board is about.

xdamage
03-21-2008, 03:20 PM
If a women is complaining, she isn't usually interested in a solution-oriented response. She wants support and empathy.

QFT, and generally a good thing for guys to learn and remember. There are exceptions of course, but this is the common case I observe too.

SportsWriter2
03-21-2008, 03:38 PM
If a women is complaining, she isn't usually interested in a solution-oriented response. She wants support and empathy.
Sorry, I don't enable victimhood. :-\

Bob_Loblaw
03-21-2008, 03:40 PM
I re-read the OP and am still under the impression he was talking about girls inside the club rather than girls on a MB. Clearly I have reading comprehension issues.

yoda57us
03-21-2008, 03:52 PM
I re-read the OP and am still under the impression he was talking about girls inside the club rather than girls on a MB. Clearly I have reading comprehension issues.

Well, who knows...I'm sure GR will be along to clarify...

Smokeless
03-21-2008, 04:25 PM
If a women is complaining, she isn't usually interested in a solution-oriented response. She wants support and empathy.

How true!!! How many times have I rushed to find a solution when my wife or other female friends vent -- only to be skewered for doing so?

This is not about victimhood, Sports. And unfortunately, it's hard for us blue ballers to figure that out. What's even more difficult is when the woman wants a solution!

Katrine
03-21-2008, 05:15 PM
Sorry, I don't enable victimhood. :-\

Not victimhood, just communication style. Not suprisingly, I lean towards trying to give solution oriented responses to women when they complain, and seldomly receive positive reception. However, I sure to like to bitch and complain and manipulate everyone to be on my side as I see fit.

mr_punk
03-21-2008, 05:18 PM
I re-read the OP and am still under the impression he was talking about girls inside the club rather than girls on a MB. Clearly I have reading comprehension issues.same here and if that's the case. he's on point. this isn't all that uncommon ITC.

Docido
03-21-2008, 05:43 PM
It's nothing out of the ordinary. If you want real entertainment go to www.stripclublist.com. The bitching, backbiting, character assassination, and sock puppetry over there must be seen to be believed. Sometimes the customers are as bad; cheering and egging on the dancer cat fights. In comparison, the pink side is quite civilized.

xdamage
03-21-2008, 06:32 PM
Sorry, I don't enable victimhood. :-\

I really despise victimhood think, but strangely I see this a bit differently. Where I look at victimhood think as (generalization to follow) selectively taking responsibility (e.g., when it is a positive, the person owns it, when it is negative, someone else or something else made it so), what Katrine is describing is not really that. Being a guy I also prefer solution oriented think, but I'm okay with someone needing support first so long as it doesn't consistently devolve into seeing the world as "me good, them bad" mentality.

yoda57us
03-22-2008, 05:47 PM
Sorry, I don't enable victimhood. :-\

Right, well that's OK Sporty. The post was about dancers supporting each other, not customers...

doc-catfish
03-22-2008, 06:02 PM
Pink is what it is guys. I've almost likened all the complaining up there as the dancer equivalent of taking a lap, or pummeling the speed bag for a few minutes. Better to do it there than ITC.


Being a guy I also prefer solution oriented think, but I'm okay with someone needing support first so long as it doesn't consistently devolve into seeing the world as "me good, them bad" mentality.
Yeah, I've found venting to be therapeutic as long as one actually vents. When one makes the same complaint over and over and over, thats not venting, thats stewing.

SeppeSai
03-22-2008, 06:04 PM
The ATF is remarkably free of such talk about other dancers, but she has been known to toss a catty comment once in a while. She ususally talks about how she's there to work and not to cause problems.

One of my former favorites was a beehive of gossip and behind-the-scenes drama. I had a hard time listening to her talk about it sometimes, but I did get one humorous episode out of it: her ripping the another dancer for her boob job, then a sweetness and light reply when that dancer came over to us to say thank you for the tip we gave her.

Katrine
03-22-2008, 07:35 PM
Dude, I had more custies update me on club drama and gossip than I ever knew, anywhere I worked. It was nice to have SW to talk about all of the shit I observed and kept inside my head whilst working.

It was a safe level of therapy. I almost never made friends at work, and had never really known girls like myself, until I joined here. Believe me, when you are sitting with a boring PL talking off your ear, its not hard to smile like an idiot, glaze your eyes, observe what else is going on around you. Hell, I do it in my job today.

Golden_Rule
03-23-2008, 11:04 PM
Then don't fucking read the pink boards arsehole.

Please go reread my post and then withdraw the jerking knee from my chest. :)

Where did I mention any board, let alone SW?

My post, in case you'd actually like to know what you are referencing before you lay into me with endearments like "arsehole", was in reference to an experience from the night before, which found me in a club getting an earful from a dancer acquaintance of mine.

She had something negative to say about every dancer in the club. I couldn't get her off the subject, and I tried. Yak. Yak. Yak. Ugh! I like the gal and she could have made a pretty penny off me that night had she not turned me off getting dances altogether with her dreadful, horribly unsexy, bile.

After the first five minutes of it the last thing I wanted to do was get a lap dance. Still she went on. My head hurt. My ears bleed. I retreated, money still in my pocket.

Hence the comments that lead off this thread.



Strippers aren't always busy every second they are at work. There is time for observation. It doesn't indicate anything about her ability to do well at her job.

Observation is almost always a good thing.

Taking those observations and turning them into a running commentary that turns off your clients and effects your bottom line is just bad business sense.


Not victimhood, just communication style. Not suprisingly, I lean towards trying to give solution oriented responses to women when they complain, and seldomly receive positive reception. However, I sure to like to bitch and complain and manipulate everyone to be on my side as I see fit.

Yes. Fine. Dandy.

Not in a place of business.

This is their profession. I am there to be entertained.

Does an actor performing in a play stop in the middle of her lines to tell the audience all about how the other actors are upstaging her and stepping on her lines?


Dude, I had more custies update me on club drama and gossip than I ever knew, anywhere I worked. It was nice to have SW to talk about all of the shit I observed and kept inside my head whilst working.

Precisely. And that is all that I did here. I had an experience in a club and vented on these pages where I could get a little support from the folk on "Blue".

Same-Same.

Understand now?

You don't have to say you're sorry. I forgive you.

[You deserve a little good natured poke in the ribs for coming down on me for using blue the very same way you would, and have, used pink.]

Golden_Rule
03-23-2008, 11:10 PM
I re-read the OP and am still under the impression he was talking about girls inside the club rather than girls on a MB. Clearly I have reading comprehension issues.

You read it right.

I'll have to give Katrine a "C-" on reading comprehension this time around.

:)

I still think she's a smart lady. I just think that if there had been a pink ribbon on the lower left side of the post instead of a blue one she'd have been far more likely to cut the poster some slack, give the benefit of the doubt, and probably not call said poster and "arsehole".

Golden_Rule
03-23-2008, 11:15 PM
If you don't want to know about what women really think when they are not trying to get you to spend money on them it's best if you just don't read in pink. No one up there is trying to impress you. That's not what the board is about.


Et tu, Brute?

I thought it was pretty obvious that I was referencing club experiences. Not SW reading.

yoda57us
03-24-2008, 04:17 AM
Et tu, Brute?

I thought it was pretty obvious that I was referencing club experiences. Not SW reading.

Apparently not obvious enough GR...my apologies for misinterpreting..

At any rate. I tend to avoid the type of dancer that you are talking about. It's fairly easy to do since I stick with older dancers who generally don't waste too much time talking about other girls. I think the type of activity that you are talking about is primarily born out of insecurity and jealousy. There is also of course the situation where a dancer will feel that she can vent to a regular about things that are bugging her at work-including other dancers. There is a huge difference between "She blows guys in the VIP room" and "I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back she was sitting with my customer".

bem401
03-24-2008, 06:26 AM
Apparently not obvious enough GR...my apologies for misinterpreting..

At any rate. I tend to avoid the type of dancer that you are talking about. It's fairly easy to do since I stick with older dancers who generally don't waste too much time talking about other girls. I think the type of activity that you are talking about is primarily born out of insecurity and jealousy. There is also of course the situation where a dancer will feel that she can vent to a regular about things that are bugging her at work-including other dancers. There is a huge difference between "She blows guys in the VIP room" and "I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back she was sitting with my customer".

What's even worse is getting yourself caught up in the drama where two girls you enjoy spending time with hate each other and pass over no opportunity to trash the other when alone with you.

Nini Nieb
03-24-2008, 06:31 AM
Seem to me that you are overseeing the fact that some strippers are overstepping a line !!! Making it very hard for classy strippers to doing their work ??

yoda57us
03-24-2008, 06:47 AM
What's even worse is getting yourself caught up in the drama where two girls you enjoy spending time with hate each other and pass over no opportunity to trash the other when alone with you.

Well, that's exactly the sort of situation that I walk away from BEM. I went through it once and it was ugly to the point of one girl calling the INS on the other. Now, if I like getting dances from them it doesn't mean I'm going to stop but I am most likely going to eliminate at least one dancer from the equation. Sometimes the situation is diffused when a dancer moves to another club. In any event, I'm at the club to have a good time. The few dancers that I become close with OTC to care about are never a part of this sort of foolishness otherwise we would never have become friends. The ones who ARE a part of it...well, if they are nice to me ITC and give good dances I could care less about club politics.

yoda57us
03-24-2008, 06:55 AM
Seem to me that you are overseeing the fact that some strippers are overstepping a line !!! Making it very hard for classy strippers to doing their work ??

I don't think so. It seems to me the OP was all about recognizing it and complaining about it.

It only makes it harder if you make yourself part of the problem. The entire point here is that a smart productive dancer goes in for her shift and doesn't get dragged into this sort of BS.
My ATF is one of the most drama free dancers I have ever known and that's going back a pretty long way. She accomplishes this in large part by not getting involved in inter-dancer BS. She doesn't go to work looking for trouble. Now, this is not without it's pitfalls as well. A certain element of dancer will look upon a woman who keeps to herself and does her job as being stand-offish or a snob. There isn't really much a gal can do about what others think of her but CUSTOMERS, the guys who spend the money, generally love this kind of lady. The best way to deal with the silent back-stabbers is to go in, work your ass off and bank on every shift while the gossip queens waste their energy flapping their jaws and complaining that no one wants to buy dances from them.

bem401
03-24-2008, 07:19 AM
Well, that's exactly the sort of situation that I walk away from BEM. I went through it once and it was ugly to the point of one girl calling the INS on the other. Now, if I like getting dances from them it doesn't mean I'm going to stop but I am most likely going to eliminate at least one dancer from the equation. Sometimes the situation is diffused when a dancer moves to another club. In any event, I'm at the club to have a good time. The few dancers that I become close with OTC to care about are never a part of this sort of foolishness otherwise we would never have become friends. The ones who ARE a part of it...well, if they are nice to me ITC and give good dances I could care less about club politics.

Its happened to me once or twice and I'm sure you know the parties. My response was to request not to be put in the middle and forced to choose. Thankfully, they acquiesced, but at one point, a physical altercation was brewing over some perceived bad behavior on the part of one towards the other. And I more or less introduced the two to each other. I made the mistake of thinking because they were of the same ethnicity, they might have some common ground. As it turned out, the main thing they had in common was the same target customer base, thus making them competitors more than anything else. Lesson learned on my part, hopefully never to be repeated.

yoda57us
03-24-2008, 07:27 AM
Its happened to me once or twice and I'm sure you know the parties. My response was to request not to be put in the middle and forced to choose. Thankfully, they acquiesced, but at one point, a physical altercation was brewing over some perceived bad behavior on the part of one towards the other. And I more or less introduced the two to each other. I made the mistake of thinking because they were of the same ethnicity, they might have some common ground. As it turned out, the main thing they had in common was the same target customer base, thus making them competitors more than anything else. Lesson learned on my part, hopefully never to be repeated.

The first mistake we often make as customers is to assume that there is some occupation-based sisterhood that exists among dancers.

The second is to assume an ethnicity based sisterhood among dancers...

Dancing is no different, in some respects, than any other sales oriented profession. The need to sell is the first priority. As it should be.

As I said before, dancers come to work to earn a living, not to make friends-with either customers or other dancers.

xdamage
03-24-2008, 08:26 AM
... I had an experience in a club and vented on these pages where I could get a little support from the folk on "Blue". ..

Going back to the solution oriented thinking, all you can do about the situation is vote with your wallet (assuming if it is truly bothersome). We really can't worry about whether or not dancers maximize their profits beyond intellectual curiosity, but here is a thought...

Maybe one reason some dancers (or if you prefer, women) engage in that behavior is because it works? I'm not saying they do it consciously even, but it is a possible strategy that can attract men. Why?

My best guess is that it's fairly simple. That some guys are attracted to that behavior because it is an opportunity to "side with her". Why do that? Simple. Guys subconsciously are often trying to increase their chances of scoring. When men side with her, they are consciously or sub-consciously gambling that she will feel endeared to them, or even feel he is a protector type who will stand up for her.

Therefore bitching about other women ends up being a kind of subconscious hustle that works in the real world, and inside the club as well. It won't work on every man, but there is no such thing as a strategy that works on 100% of the opposite sex. What turns you off, may well have the next guy feeling he is special, that she is letting him in her deeper emotions, turn on his inner white knight who wants to "help her", "side with her", be her protector.

yoda57us
03-24-2008, 08:43 AM
Therefore bitching about other women ends up being a kind of subconscious hustle that works in the real world, and inside the club as well. It won't work on every man, but there is no such thing as a strategy that works on 100% of the opposite sex. What turns you off, may well have the next guy feeling he is special, that she is letting him in her deeper emotions, turn on his inner white knight who wants to "help her", "side with her", be her protector.

LOL, I agree that this happens, I honestly don't think it's on a sub-conscious level at all. When it is used as a tactic the lady knows exactly what she is doing.

bem401
03-24-2008, 08:58 AM
LOL, I agree that this happens, I honestly don't think it's on a sub-conscious level at all. When it is used as a tactic the lady knows exactly what she is doing.

Sometimes though, they just don't like each other. In a different instance than the one I referenced previously, one girl at times would refuse to talk to me if I talked to the other or did dances with her. And they continued to trash each other and revel in each other's misfortunes for years after they stopped working together. In all fairness, one girl harbored much more resentment than the other, but I think she was just a generally unhappy person to begin with. Plus I think their dislike of each other pre-dated my arrival in the club.

xdamage
03-24-2008, 10:12 AM
Sometimes though, they just don't like each other. In a different instance than the one I referenced previously, one girl at times would refuse to talk to me if I talked to the other or did dances with her. And they continued to trash each other and revel in each other's misfortunes for years after they stopped working together. In all fairness, one girl harbored much more resentment than the other, but I think she was just a generally unhappy person to begin with. Plus I think their dislike of each other pre-dated my arrival in the club.

It can be a case of both things being true. I think it's reasonably evident that some people are drama queens and kings. They seem to thrive on being the star of the show, a key figure in a conspiracy or drama in which they are a key figure, others are against them, others are bad while they are good, a strong emotional rush. /shrug. But hey, if that's compatible with their overriding goal, making money, by drawing customers into the drama, why not right? Whatever works works.

Me, I avoid those kinds of people in real life and in the club. It is exhausting to be around them, and even if you did win such a woman's affections, ugh... it's brutal to be around that kind of person for an extended period of time. Then again nobody said us males only focus our attention on women we perceive as long term mates. We will often put up with a lot of character flaws (at least over the short term) if the chemistry is right (i.e., she looks good and turns on our biology).

Oh and back to the solution oriented point made early. The great thing is we customers can vote with our wallets. If we don't like it, simply move on and spend our money elsewhere. We don't have to engage in conversation that makes us uncomfortable in the club while we are on our entertainment time.

yoda57us
03-24-2008, 10:57 AM
Sometimes though, they just don't like each other. In a different instance than the one I referenced previously, one girl at times would refuse to talk to me if I talked to the other or did dances with her. And they continued to trash each other and revel in each other's misfortunes for years after they stopped working together. In all fairness, one girl harbored much more resentment than the other, but I think she was just a generally unhappy person to begin with. Plus I think their dislike of each other pre-dated my arrival in the club.


Well yeah, some people just don't like each other. The circumstances and the particulars may vary but the reason it happens in the SC environment is always going to be somewhat influenced by the money that is at stake. You said yourself that these girls are going after the same target demographic. I'm guessing you are talking about two Asian dancers here but it wouldn't matter if they were Asian, Brazilian, Lithuanian or just co-valedictorians from the Providence High school class of 2007! Women are very competitive to begin with. When you put that dynamic into the immediate daily gratification environment of people working for a days take home pay it can't help but influence the way they interact with each other.

bem401
03-24-2008, 11:17 AM
Well yeah, some people just don't like each other. The circumstances and the particulars may vary but the reason it happens in the SC environment is always going to be somewhat influenced by the money that is at stake. You said yourself that these girls are going after the same target demographic. I'm guessing you are talking about two Asian dancers here but it wouldn't matter if they were Asian, Brazilian, Lithuanian or just co-valedictorians from the Providence High school class of 2007! Women are very competitive to begin with. When you put that dynamic into the immediate daily gratification environment of people working for a days take home pay it can't help but influence the way they interact with each other.

Right you are, Yoda. I was referring to two distinctly different situations, involving four diiferent Asians as you guessed, and I think all familiar to you. I guess, on second look, money really was at the heart of both situations though. Both girls who seemed to be the initiators of the drama felt they had been harmed financially by the other girl who was either more aggressive, more lenient, or both.

Katrine
03-24-2008, 01:25 PM
Golden_Rule, I apologize for my incomprehension of your issue. Those types of girls suck. But a great deal of customers love the drama and thrive on it. For the most part, those girls don't make much money, leaving more for myself (back in day.)

However they ruin the custy experience, and are also dead weight, sitting there with my potential prey. Now that I'm a customer, I never seem to have to deal with it. I wonder why? Oh, because I don't spend a long time sitting with a dancer without paying her. If I think a girl is attractive, and she is warm and friendly upon coming over, I'll ask her to dance for me next song.

Voila, easy way to avoid drama. But that would involve you not wasting a bunch of free dancer time wouldn't it?

yoda57us
03-25-2008, 07:55 AM
Now that I'm a customer, I never seem to have to deal with it. I wonder why? Oh, because I don't spend a long time sitting with a dancer without paying her. If I think a girl is attractive, and she is warm and friendly upon coming over, I'll ask her to dance for me next song.

Voila, easy way to avoid drama. But that would involve you not wasting a bunch of free dancer time wouldn't it?

I think dancers and former dancers have a unique perspective when they go into the club as customers. Guys will really never comprehend the concept that every minute of a dancer's time is valuable regardless of weather she is actually dancing or engaged in the act of trying to sell them. I'm an acknowledged yapper and I have tailored my visits and my spending habits to make this work for me. I rarely spend less than two or three hours with the same woman but they are well compensated for it...

When I visit a club on the road I operate much more in the mode that you are talking about Kat. Find a hot woman, determine that she is a not a bitch, and buy dances...;D

Katrine
03-25-2008, 02:03 PM
True, yoda. But your home experiences are a bit of a different "stimulus" if you will. And I am certainly colored by my past in the industry. I feel really, really BAD for wasting a dancer's time. If I don't like her, I'll excuse her.

yoda57us
03-25-2008, 05:25 PM
True, yoda. But your home experiences are a bit of a different "stimulus" if you will. And I am certainly colored by my past in the industry. I feel really, really BAD for wasting a dancer's time. If I don't like her, I'll excuse her.

Oh, I think your approach is absolutely appropriate Kat. I go and hang out on a slow afternoon because that is my preference. When I was a night time guy my approach was much more similar to yours. The difference is I had to learn the hard way years ago that I was making too many assumptions about what my three or four LD's were worth to a dancer on a busy Saturday night...But I did learn.

Golden_Rule
03-25-2008, 08:49 PM
Seem to me that you are overseeing the fact that some strippers are overstepping a line !!! Making it very hard for classy strippers to doing their work ??

OK. If you are talking about me I have to say you've lost me on this. What exactly do you mean?

Golden_Rule
03-25-2008, 08:56 PM
I don't think so. It seems to me the OP was all about recognizing it and complaining about it.

Precisely.


It only makes it harder if you make yourself part of the problem. The entire point here is that a smart productive dancer goes in for her shift and doesn't get dragged into this sort of BS.

And again.

As I said, in case Ms NN missed it, I kept trying to change the subject and when she refused to get the hint I picked myself up and got out of there. Left the club, money still in pocket, because the last thing I felt like was hearing more. Totally turned off. Libido on full shut-down [the last thing a dancer ought to want because its our libido that controls the string to our purse in S-Cs.

Terribly UN-sexy business. {shudder}

Golden_Rule
03-25-2008, 09:10 PM
Golden_Rule, I apologize for my incomprehension of your issue. Those types of girls suck. But a great deal of customers love the drama and thrive on it. For the most part, those girls don't make much money, leaving more for myself (back in day.)

Wasn't an issue. Its the bell curve.

I make an attempt to be clear and concise. Taking that into consideration I expect, at any given time, 60% to understand or not but I'll never know because they don't give a flying burrito and therefore don't comment, 20% to understand it and comment with concise points of their own, 20% to miss the point altogether and comment.

This time around you fell into the last 20%, that's all.*


However they ruin the custy experience, and are also dead weight, sitting there with my potential prey. Now that I'm a customer, I never seem to have to deal with it. I wonder why? Oh, because I don't spend a long time sitting with a dancer without paying her. If I think a girl is attractive, and she is warm and friendly upon coming over, I'll ask her to dance for me next song.

Voila, easy way to avoid drama. But that would involve you not wasting a bunch of free dancer time wouldn't it?

You just can't resist throwing a shot in there can you. :) [*So I threw one back]

If you read it the way I wrote it you'd note that I said she was an acquaintance.

It implies a certain level of knowledge of one another. I've spent plenty of money on her but I don't spend 100% of my time in an S-C purchasing dances. I would imagine very few people do. Even yourself.

The place was dead. There was no one else she wanted to talk to or she would have been doing it. I wasn't ready to purchase a lap dance yet. I told her this. I didn't ask her to come over or to stay after I told her, within seconds of her arrival, that I wasn't interested in a dance just then . I was hardly wasting her time.

IN FACT, I COULD VERY HONESTLY AND ACCURATELY STATE SHE WAS WASTING MINE.

So there. :P {raspberries to you} :D

Golden_Rule
03-25-2008, 09:29 PM
Oh, I think your approach is absolutely appropriate Kat. I go and hang out on a slow afternoon because that is my preference. When I was a night time guy my approach was much more similar to yours. The difference is I had to learn the hard way years ago that I was making too many assumptions about what my three or four LD's were worth to a dancer on a busy Saturday night...But I did learn.

When I go to an S-C with dances on my mind I very rarely hang out. I recon, make my selection, do what I want to do and leave. Hardly around more than an hour, max.

When I "hang" in an S-C it is only for one of two reasons. I am with friends when I come in and I am there with them. The club is ambiance. I'm not taking up the dancers time. We tip at the rail and we engage them in friendly banter but waste known of their time. If I decide I want a dance I get one.

When I "hang" by myself at a club it is because I know people there. I think this is where Katrine gets the wrong impression of me. Management, bartenders, bouncers, dancers: some group(s) of people are going to be known to me on a friendly basis and I get a beer and go sit in the back, out of the way, and if [and only if] they want to kill some time they come over an' yak, filling me in on what's what in their lives. Again, they do so of their own free will and with full knowledge that its just a yak session they are assured of, though sometimes I get dances too. They know there is no guarantee of that though and also know they can get up and walk anytime they want and I won't say boo about it. No obligation either way. Just people who know each other agreeing to talk over a table, instead of the backyard fence.

In fact, had this been the scenario when this dancer I referenced had bent my ear about her co-workers I wouldn't have even mentioned it because in such a scenario as the one mentioned in the paragraph above I am sort of asking for it so I have no reason to bitch if I get it.

She got hold of me in a club I only go to get dances [read extras] and am never in for more than it takes to do my business with my dancer of choice and get out. She's doesn't know me under any other circumstances [read, she doesn't work in the bars I "hang" in] so I don't know what made her think I was interested in hearing her critique on her co-workers? Nor why she wouldn't stop when I made it painfully clear I wasn't interested until she drove me out of the club?

lestat1
03-25-2008, 10:35 PM
I rarely have the "dancer won't leave me alone" problem. Perhaps I could offer you some tutoring in the art of extreme shyness and introversion? :P Most people go away fairly quickly in the face of one-word answers, few to no questions asked, and minimal eye-contact combined with a tense, awkward posture. I'm joking, mostly. I actually have a coworker who thinks I'm incredibly outgoing. I've managed to overcome shyness in most normal situations that don't involve a female to whom I'm attracted.

Golden_Rule
03-27-2008, 10:34 PM
I've managed to overcome shyness in most normal situations that don't involve a female to whom I'm attracted.

Lestat, we all go through a period like that. I was horribly tongue tied around women, especially ones I was interested in, when I was younger.

Somewhere along the line I decided women are just folks like anyone else. Even ones I found attractive. You talk to them, they usually answer, and that's the foot in the door. You just have to be a little confident, friendly, and not come across like a potential stalker. :)

Aside: What I do with all new folks I meet is subtract all components that place people into categories. In other words men, women, Black, White, rich, poor, etc. All folks are just folks first. I deal with them all the same. If required to add components back in due to circumstance I do so but I don't let it change my general regard or approach to them. I give a smile, some respect on spec, and a reason for them to believe I'm glad to be speaking to them.

In my general approach and demeanor I suggest it is what I expect from them in return. Most of the time I get it. If I don't it tells me its no one I want to be dealing with any way so no great loss [and if there is it is theirs]. :)

All I know is it works for me.

BTW, in reading your posts around here I would think anyone would be glad to meet you in person. You are well spoken and possess a fine funny bone. Two essential elements in good company. :)

mr_punk
03-28-2008, 01:04 PM
Dude, I had more custies update me on club drama and gossip than I ever knew, anywhere I worked.yup. some guys live for the latest updates on club gossip, but consider the source of their info. if your former co-workers would keep their legs open and their traps shut (unless they're putting cock in their mouth). perhaps, guys wouldn't come on SW and act as if they're an authority on the inner workings of your industry.

IN FACT, I COULD VERY HONESTLY AND ACCURATELY STATE SHE WAS WASTING MINE.LOL...true. some of these girls act as if they're sitting on a ticking time bomb which can only be diffused by dropping the latest club news on a customer or else they'll explode. whether the customer isn't interested in hearing the latest club gossip is hardly relevant.