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Darcy Foxx
03-31-2008, 09:27 PM
I agree with what a lot of the other members have said. Why say the exchanges might be stopped for such and such reasons, but not tell us. If we know the why we could suggest solutions.

i was just trying to be as helpful as i could without breaching any moderator confidentiality. if people are going to get upset over that, next time i just won't tell you anything.

Mia M
03-31-2008, 09:27 PM
Okay, I'll 'fess up... I want them to stop. It's because Lola didn't post a topless picture of herself in the crafters thread. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to fantasize about when I'm flicking my bean?

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:27 PM
you said that, yes, but right now, I don't see a reason, so till I know one, there isn't really a reason...

does that made sense?

Darcy Foxx
03-31-2008, 09:28 PM
you said that, yes, but right now, I don't see a reason, so till I know one, there isn't really a reason...

does that made sense?

yes, but just because you don't personally know the reason, it doesn't mean that we don't have one.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:30 PM
i was just trying to be as helpful as i could without breaching any moderator confidentiality. if people are going to get upset over that, next time i just won't tell you anything.

Poor Darcy... stuck between a rock and a hard place.

She wants to be helpful guys, but some things about the site moderators can't tell us or it'd fuck the whole thing. She just wants us to know that they have a reason but she's not sure she can tell us. She's doing the best she can with what she has without getting HERSELF in trouble.

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:30 PM
ugh! dammit!!! mia- tbh- I can't find my camera, and I'm trying not to get out of bed too mcuh. But i promise they;ll come.

rooster470
03-31-2008, 09:31 PM
i was just trying to be as helpful as i could without breaching any moderator confidentiality.

I wasn't aware that there was "moderator confidentiality." Not to be rude, but that sounds pretty silly. We're not talking about patient/client or lawyer/client confidentiality. We're talking about make believe bureaucracy on a forum about stripping and all things stripping related.

And that's not an attack on you Darcy. You didn't make the moderator rules.

I'm going to try and tone down the sass now.

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:32 PM
yes, but just because you don't personally know the reason, it doesn't mean that we don't have one.

i do understand that, and I'm not trying to be hard on you. i just don't know the reason, so it's as if there isn't one right now, for me.

"because I said so" isn't really a reason.

TigersMilk
03-31-2008, 09:32 PM
Lola, you do make sense. So for right now carry on enjoying doing the gift exchange. There is no reason that can be given at this point.

Jenny
03-31-2008, 09:32 PM
you said that, yes, but right now, I don't see a reason, so till I know one, there isn't really a reason...

does that made sense?No. I promise there is a reason this is under consideration. Before it moves out from being under consideration I promise everyone will have an opportunity to discuss the reasons and to find alternative solutions. I promise there will be reasons if - or really, even if not - this goes forward. We are not just blindly robbing you of joy.

stellaforstars
03-31-2008, 09:32 PM
Poor Darcy... stuck between a rock and a hard place.

She wants to be helpful guys, but some things about the site moderators can't tell us or it'd fuck the whole thing. She just wants us to know that they have a reason but she's not sure she can tell us. She's doing the best she can with what she has without getting HERSELF in trouble.

I must say, I really do feel for the mods in situations like this one.

Mia M
03-31-2008, 09:32 PM
Lola, you'll just have to come over to my house...

Darcy Foxx
03-31-2008, 09:33 PM
Poor Darcy... stuck between a rock and a hard place.

She wants to be helpful guys, but some things about the site moderators can't tell us or it'd fuck the whole thing. She just wants us to know that they have a reason but she's not sure she can tell us. She's doing the best she can with what she has without getting HERSELF in trouble.

thank you for understanding.

the last thing i want is to have pryce kick me off the mod squad for telling you guys something that was supposed to be kept private.

you don't need to keep attacking me. can i just remind you all that i do not make the rules here. i am just doing what i am supposed to do, and i am trying to do my best and be as helpful as possible :(

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:33 PM
I wonder though if one of the reasons is it's becoming much easier to collect girls real names and addresses on here because of it.

I know I myself, before the exchanges had two and now have like, 15.

stellaforstars
03-31-2008, 09:34 PM
Darcy, I really don't think anyone means to attack you. We're all just honestly confused.

:hug:

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:34 PM
No. I promise there is a reason this is under consideration. Before it moves out from being under consideration I promise everyone will have an opportunity to discuss the reasons and to find alternative solutions. I promise there will be reasons if - or really, even if not - this goes forward. We are not just blindly robbing you of joy.

I do get it. I'm just saying, knowing there is a reason and knowing what is is are vastly different things.

TM- I'm definatly following your advice, full steam ahead!

Jenny
03-31-2008, 09:37 PM
I do get it. I'm just saying, knowing there is a reason and knowing what is is are vastly different things.

TM- I'm definatly following your advice, full steam ahead!
I understand - and I get the frustration with "no there is a reason, but it is a secret reason". It's just related to other reasons for other things, and so on and so forth. But again - I swear we are not just passing rules in secret, and there will be time for input and compromise on the matter.

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:37 PM
Lola, you'll just have to come over to my house...

ok, so long as you snuggle me under the covers, and do my hair ;)

I will in exchange bring you much happiness in your girlie bits.


thank you for understanding.

the last thing i want is to have pryce kick me off the mod squad for telling you guys something that was supposed to be kept private.

you don't need to keep attacking me. can i just remind you all that i do not make the rules here. i am just doing what i am supposed to do, and i am trying to do my best and be as helpful as possible :(

I really hope you don't think i'm attacking you. I even said I'm not trying to be hard on you, i just want to understand. I'm not upset at all, i think it's a discussion, not an arguement.

i think you are a good mod, and i don't want you to be un modded.


I wonder though if one of the reasons is it's becoming much easier to collect girls real names and addresses on here because of it.

I know I myself, before the exchanges had two and now have like, 15.

meh... i have like... 20+ names and addys, and only one from the elfster gig.

TheTempest
03-31-2008, 09:37 PM
Darcy, I really don't think anyone means to attack you. We're all just honestly confused.

:hug:


I totally agree. :hug:

ColetteCalahan
03-31-2008, 09:38 PM
^^ seriously, i totally understand why people would want the exchanges stopped, however, the majority of participants have stated why they want the exchanges to continue... so let's stop arguing babysitters vs. babysat and stop putting the mods in a tough spot. If this exchange is still going on then let's proceed as normal and stop pestering Darcy et. al for information she can't give out yet, until we hear otherwise.

eta- tm-i guess this is what you were saying too.... damn thread moves fast.

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:38 PM
I understand - and I get the frustration with "no there is a reason, but it is a secret reason". It's just related to other reasons for other things, and so on and so forth. But again - I swear we are not just passing rules in secret, and there will be time for input and compromise on the matter.

ya, it kinda feels like I'm back at home, hearing no, you can't do that, b/c I said so.

it's sorta a sucky position for all.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:40 PM
ok, so long as you snuggle me under the covers, and do my hair ;)

I will in exchange bring you much happiness in your girlie bits.



I really hope you don't think i'm attacking you. I even said I'm not trying to be hard on you, i just want to understand. I'm not upset at all, i think it's a discussion, not an arguement.

i think you are a good mod, and i don't want you to be un modded.



meh... i have like... 20+ names and addys, and only one from the elfster gig.

Yes but we know you. A guy can make 500 posts and then join an exchange and NOBODY would do the 'want a MANletter, PM me' so he'd just do that to collect addresses.

Which would fucking SUCK if, say, HeWhoCannotBeRayGordon decided to sneak his way onto the boards for 500 posts.

stellaforstars
03-31-2008, 09:40 PM
Colette, could you please help us understand why you think the exchanges should be stopped?

No one is trying to pester the moderators. I don't think anyone's behavior has gotten out of control in this thread. We are trying to have a mature, adult discussion.

Susan-Va
03-31-2008, 09:40 PM
I would like the exchanges to continue. Those who do the exchanges do so voluntarily, so I don't see the problem.

i may not post on here as much as others (for being a memeber for as long as I have been I do have a low post count when you think about it) but i like the fact that I can do something special for someone and get something in return.

Lola Rose
03-31-2008, 09:42 PM
i doubt that'd be an issue..... 500 is a lot of posts to get to know a person. and ray already knows many of our home addys.....

he emailed me mine once! it was scary, but the info is out there i guess.

GoldCoastGirl
03-31-2008, 09:46 PM
I wonder though if one of the reasons is it's becoming much easier to collect girls real names and addresses on here because of it.

I know I myself, before the exchanges had two and now have like, 15.

I have to admit I detest having my real last name known ... I prefer to be Vanessa Stacy at all times possible... however if I post express I have to sign my legal name thus.. yeah.. you get to know my real name.

At the same time, everything is directed to my PO Box so I'm safe enough for now...

ColetteCalahan
03-31-2008, 09:47 PM
Colette, could you please help us understand why you think the exchanges should be stopped?

No one is trying to pester the moderators. I don't think anyone's behavior has gotten out of control in this thread. We are trying to have a mature, adult discussion.

ummm... you read my post wrong. First of all, someone WAS pestering the mods earlier, second of all, I myself do NOT want the exchanges to stop; what I wrote was, "I can see why someone would want them to stop." And I can fully respect and participate in your 'adult, mature discussion...' that was kinda rude. I dunno what other type of discussion you'd have, because I have never participated in a drama thread.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:49 PM
I have to admit I detest having my real last name known ... I prefer to be Vanessa Stacy at all times possible... however if I post express I have to sign my legal name thus.. yeah.. you get to know my real name.

At the same time, everything is directed to my PO Box so I'm safe enough for now...

I know your last name, when you were born and your address. :P

Corgan
03-31-2008, 09:49 PM
i personally love doing gift exchanges. i'm for them all the way.

it sucks when all you get in the mail is bills. it's so nice to see a lovely package from someone who doesn't even expect anything back. that kind of thing brightens my day, my week, my month! someone unselfishly did something nice for me, and sometimes i really need that little bit of love. i know i'm not the only one like that, either!

now, as for some people not having any money, that is an understandable issue. Though it is sad that they cannot participate, it isn't like the people that ARE participating are doing a "nanny nanny boo boo" bit in front of thier face. and i bet you guys, that a few Swers have even gone out of thier way to send a little something to people in this position.

what harm is giftgiving? nothing whatsoever.

stellaforstars
03-31-2008, 09:49 PM
No, Colette, I didn't read your post wrong. You and I have a difference of opinion on the first bit--and that's okay, of course.

I should have initially worded the first sentence in my response to you differently--I apologize. But if you could understand someone's reasoning, is there a way that you could perhaps help us to do the same? Like, are you seeing something obvious here that we aren't? Sorry if it seems like I am pestering you now. I just so desperately want to understand this.

fancygirl
03-31-2008, 09:49 PM
it doesn't make sense. it's voluntary. you don't like it, you don't do it.

i voted for wanting them to continue. personally, i'm a fairly reclusive person (and a stripper. i know. it's ironic). i used to be so social-phobic that it nearly trapped me in my house. i still have issues with it, and this gives me a chance to participate in things with people i don't really know. not to mention i'm able to do so in a way that's positive (at least i think so) and fun. i'm not saying i'll be able to do every single one of them, but i'll do em as often as i can.


^ I posted about this in the thread "losing my social skills." I want Pryce and the moderators to note that I wrote all the stuff even before this little fire started. I still stand by exchanges not only being good for the community by bringing connecting people in more fun and personal ways but also good for individuals like myself who are too busy, or socially disinclined in some way. I got lots of warm fuzzies and I feel bad that this is causing such dissension.

see:

GoldCoastGirl
03-31-2008, 09:50 PM
BTW

the exchange is purely voluntary.. so if one doesn't want to participate.. don't.

i voted for them to continue ;D

GoldCoastGirl
03-31-2008, 09:51 PM
I know your last name, when you were born and your address. :P


That's different. I trust you and KNOW you IRL and have for awhile....




.... not to mention fucked you }:D so yeah i know you well enough to trust you.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:51 PM
The gifts make me so happy. Opening something when you have no idea what it is or who it's from is so sweet.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:52 PM
That's different. I trust you and KNOW you IRL and have for awhile....




.... not to mention fucked you }:D so yeah i know you well enough to trust you.

Yeah, I should've added I know what you taste like, too!

rooster470
03-31-2008, 09:53 PM
^^^^
Lysondra, that is sig worthy. :)

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 09:55 PM
wow, unintentional siggy, cool.

bellasera
03-31-2008, 09:58 PM
I can't believe the gift exchanges are causing this much drama. I don't participate pretty much because I'm lazy, but I like seeing how happy every one is to get a prezzy. Obviously a large majority like it so whatever.

ColetteCalahan
03-31-2008, 09:59 PM
However, why someone WOULD want them to stop? fine, if no one else will say it, I will. Katrine said "money troll," and let's be honest- we all know it's not anyone in the craft exchange, or FancyGirl. It DOES kinda suck when someone is posting up "OmG, I bought THis and ThiS and THIS and ThIS expensive nice thing for you and you and you and you and you and you and I'm gonna make a BIIIIIIIIG ray of sunshine in YOUR sky, and half of you are gonna be brought to Gift-ed Orgasm, and the other half, well, too bad."

And then the reveal thread comes and ASIDE from the original bunnies/eggs there is an influx of over-the-top presents from someone who can afford to get them for people who kiss up to him whom he feels are "deserving." Is it generous?? Yeah, it is. Definitely. It's touching, generous, and very kind... but it's also extremely exclusive and could make a lot of girls feel bad if they didn't know how to brush it off. SW is NOT a stripclub. Some aspects make it operate a little bit like one, but at the end of the day you can turn off the computer and it isn't real. This type of favoritism that actually assumes a physical presence really makes it hit home.

So... there. I said it.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 10:01 PM
LOL Colette, at first I thought you were talking about me because I kept posting how I couldn't find the store I was looking for and instead kept buying my egg everything else... and then I realized you meant people NOT in the exchange that they had gotten.

Oh shit, I just thought've something -I- did that could've done it and I feel bad now.

stellaforstars
03-31-2008, 10:02 PM
I see what you mean, Colette, and thank you for elaborating.

I don't see why the rules of the exchanges couldn't be made a tad stricter if this was enough of a problem to truly disrupt the experience, however. I, for one, would much rather do that than cancel them altogether...Just thinking aloud.

Seriously, though. Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to appease me.

ColetteCalahan
03-31-2008, 10:03 PM
^^^ ha oh heavens not you...

fancygirl
03-31-2008, 10:04 PM
I would really just like to hear from someone who actually complained to the moderators. I don't know if that will actually happen though, it's like the complainers are silent except to the moderators. It's discouraging because the people with hurt feelings won't say anything to us personally.

we can work through hurt feelings if it's that. people keep mentioning jealousy as a factor and if that is the case, that can never really be worked out-- so I hope that at most, the exchange threads will be moved to member boards so it is less visible to those who are miffy.

If this is a case of people like me spending over the limit, I would rather try to stick to the limit (argh! which I'd hate, but I'd do) or step out entirely than ruin it for everyone else.

But if this is because of some beef with TOO, ugh, I'll be more willing to listen when they "use their words."


I'm completely speculating here, but I get the feeling it has to do more with "SW Cliques" than with money. If this is the case, I'm a tad peeved off. Cliques are a natural progression in a board with 50,000 members who all post at different rates. And an exchange really has nothing to do with a clique whatsoever since, again, EVERYONE is invited to participate.


I had La429, LadyJade, Cameron, Rooster, and Lysondra as my eggs.
as far as cliques go, I don't think I'm apart of any-- I respond and joke with anyone that catches my interest. I respond to a lot of these people because they post more. for the next exchange I'm sure I'm going to get to know and "click" with a lot of the bucket brigade people and thus extend my connections with SW even further.

Jenny, as far as threatening to leave, the others are just expressing how big a deal this is to them. I don't take it as a neener-neener-I'm-gonna-take-my-toys-and-go-home but as a serious reevaluation of what place SW serves in our life.

Darcy Foxx
03-31-2008, 10:05 PM
I don't see why the rules of the exchanges couldn't be made a tad stricter if this was enough of a problem to truly disrupt the experience, however. I, for one, would much rather do that than cancel them altogether...Just thinking aloud.


hence why jenny has said repeatedly that it would be formally discussed with everyone before any action was taken. there are some new rules coming into play soon and the gift exchange may or may not fall under one of them, but it will be formally discussed at some point and until then you need not worry.

holiday
03-31-2008, 10:06 PM
I am indifferent to the exchanges. I've participated in one and I enjoyed it. I probably will do another one if they continue, but honestly I wouldn't care if they were gone, sort of like the random thread I guess. I never went in that thread and the Lounge is usually the last thread I open on here. I mostly come here for Stripping General and Hustle Hut. I like the commradarie(sp?) here for sure, but :-\ I don't know, sometimes the lounge is a little much for me. I guess I have no patience for any sort of bickering and the likely hood of coming across bickering is usually high in the lounge.

And I'd just like to say that I love when the mods smack down and keep things in check around here with as many members as we have, and the popularity of the site, I like to know things are being kept in order. So I will support their decision.


And also just because this is a "stripper site" doesn't mean all of us like to be un-Pc.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 10:16 PM
I think I figured it out thanks to my own fuckup.

Think about this: how many addresses have people gotten for people who WEREN'T theres and the person who's address it was DIDN'T give it to them? Like because of the exchanges you can PM someone and go, "I wanna send ___ a gift, can you give me her addy?" and ____ doesn't know her address was given to some random douchehead and now her address can be given by douchehead to other people and suddenly all our addresses are out with the exchanges being made an excuse!!

I figured this out because I did this for TOO. And I'm sorry. So fucking sorry. The two girls I did it to know I did it though. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry.

RoseLeigh
03-31-2008, 10:19 PM
I think this is all being taken way too seriously. It's a gift swap. Gifts. We swap them. Presents are awesome, no matter who they're from. Asking to have them 'shut down' is kinda grinchy.

Lysondra
03-31-2008, 10:21 PM
I think this is all being taken way too seriously. It's a gift swap. Gifts. We swap them. Presents are awesome, no matter who they're from. Asking to have them 'shut down' is kinda grinchy.

But what if they don't use the information for good? That's the thing...

ColetteCalahan
03-31-2008, 10:23 PM
I see what you mean, Colette, and thank you for elaborating.
I don't see why the rules of the exchanges couldn't be made a tad stricter if this was enough of a problem to truly disrupt the experience, however. I, for one, would much rather do that than cancel them altogether...Just thinking aloud.
Seriously, though. Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to appease me.

umm, ain't no big thang? i agree w/ changing the rules if it were a problem. like... too is allowed to send extra gifts if he wants.. but keep it the hell out of the exchange. gifts are gifts, exchanges are exchanges, follow the 1:1 rule. i think that would make it much more fair. I don't care either way, but it might appease those who had a problem with it (if what I voiced did indeed happen to be their issue, too)

RoseLeigh
03-31-2008, 10:24 PM
But what if they don't use the information for good? That's the thing...

I wouldn't mind the rules being stricter. But I can't imagine someone wants to them shut down because they are concerned about our safety. If so, well, that's cool.