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All Good Things
04-01-2008, 12:11 AM
I'm having a hard time reconciling two posts that you posted on the same day:

First post earlier today:


and damn, i shoulda requested something from too...

too- though i wasn't a recipient, i must say your generosity just for the sake of being generous is pretty fucking awesome. it's really rare in this world and you make people really happy. so kudos to you. makes me happy to see human decency in such unselfish form still exists.

Second post of earlier today:

However, why someone WOULD want them to stop? fine, if no one else will say it, I will. Katrine said "money troll," and let's be honest- we all know it's not anyone in the craft exchange, or FancyGirl. It DOES kinda suck when someone is posting up "OmG, I bought THis and ThiS and THIS and ThIS expensive nice thing for you and you and you and you and you and you and I'm gonna make a BIIIIIIIIG ray of sunshine in YOUR sky, and half of you are gonna be brought to Gift-ed Orgasm, and the other half, well, too bad."

Please let's be clear that I never, ever posted anything even remotely like that. All the descriptions of gifts were posted by the receipients in their thank you posts. The contents of the boxes were different in each case, and at no time did I identify the gifts, identify the recipients or write a sentence even remotely like the one you wrote above. This is entirely a case of your putting words into my mouth that I never said.




And then the reveal thread comes and ASIDE from the original bunnies/eggs there is an influx of over-the-top presents from someone who can afford to get them for people who kiss up to him whom he feels are "deserving." Is it generous?? Yeah, it is. Definitely. It's touching, generous, and very kind... but it's also extremely exclusive and could make a lot of girls feel bad if they didn't know how to brush it off. SW is NOT a stripclub. Some aspects make it operate a little bit like one, but at the end of the day you can turn off the computer and it isn't real. This type of favoritism that actually assumes a physical presence really makes it hit home.

So... there. I said it.

So which is it? They seem at least partially contradictory.

Is it:

A. "I must say your generosity just for the sake of being generous is pretty fucking awesome. it's really rare in this world and you make people really happy. so kudos to you. makes me happy to see human decency in such unselfish form still exists.

or is it:

B. It DOES kinda suck when someone is posting up "OmG, I bought THis and ThiS and THIS and ThIS expensive nice thing for you and you and you and you and you and you and I'm gonna make a BIIIIIIIIG ray of sunshine in YOUR sky, and half of you are gonna be brought to Gift-ed Orgasm, and the other half, well, too bad."

Anyway, let's be crystal clear about the rules governing my gift giving.

You said "it's extremely exclusive and could make a lot of girls feel bad if they didn't know how to brush it off."

The problem with this statement is that it's completely untrue.

Every single girl who participated in the Secret Bunny exchange was told at the outset that she could request a gift from me and receive it. All those who requested a gift and provided a link, received one. In every meaningful sense of the term, this is wholly and entirely inclusive and not in the least sense exclusive.

You said, "there is an influx of over-the-top presents from someone who can afford to get them for people who kiss up to him whom he feels are "deserving."

As noted above, all a participant had to do was request a gift. It had nothing to do with "kissing up" to me, although I'm amazed and stunned by how often people say that when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. It's sadly one of the reasons that when any dancers says anything even remotely nice about me on the boards, they feel the obligation to say "I don't care if you hate me or think I'm kissing up, but I really like TOO because he's a nice guy to talk to," or whatever. BTW, the person who posted that did NOT get a gift.

The reason there were some gifts given above and beyond those requested was because 1) I knew some gift requests were aimed at me but just not stated to be so; 2) that some people had had a horrifically terrible month and needed to be cheered up and 3) some people were broke or had been excluded from other exchanges or just missed them and were excited to be participating in this one. In no single case that I can think of did I ever give a gift to anybody who was "kissing up" to me, however you might define that. In fact I can think of a couple of cases where I gave gifts to people who have a real serious problem with me right now. Let's call those the people who told me to "kiss off." Yep, those people got gifts. My guess is that those will never even see the reveals!

Before we impugn motives to my choices that do not exist, please at least look at the facts as they played out in the most recent exchange.

BalletBaby
04-01-2008, 12:11 AM
Okay even me the evil bitch who seems to apparently have a hate on for everyone(so says the million nasty pm's i have recieved lately from people for speaking my mind) could care less about the gift exchange.



Isn't it funny that you speak your mind publicly, yet those people can't speak theirs?

Btw, I LOVE YEW :heartbeat




it defeats the purpose of the whole thing. if my egg had gotten a present from TOO i would be irritated. (no offense, pretty penny!) it's just - i don't know how to say it. i'm just very bothered by it.

:-\

I think the problem was posting it in the secret bunny thread because it's something completely separate. I'm just glad my egg loved her gift or else I'd feel like I was, I dunno, shown up? Gah, I'm so bad with words.

Lysondra
04-01-2008, 12:14 AM
HEY TOO... can I request a headlight for a Mitsubishi Magna SE? Thanks. :/

Edit: Passenger side. Thanks. :P

Callyish
04-01-2008, 12:14 AM
cally, why are people bitching you out (or whatever)? I'm soooo lost. these past two weeks have been a total crash course on drama for me.


Because apparently im an evil dramatic jealous bitch. Or so says two of the pm's I received ::)

It doesn't matter. I don't want to bring drama into this thread.

Im just cutting back on my posting and being careful about where I post and what I say and to who.

Heh Sassy thanks ;) Its all good though. My SS didn't flake. She did send it... it just got lost in the mail.... or customs kept it since they hate me lol.

britt244
04-01-2008, 12:14 AM
I think the problem was posting it in the secret bunny thread because it's something completely separate. I'm just glad my egg loved her gift or else I'd feel like I was, I dunno, shown up? Gah, I'm so bad with words.

right.. if he wants to send presents, no one can tell him he can't. but i don't think it is at all fair for it to be part of the exchanges. i think he should buy his person's gift and that's that.. and if someone has a bad month or whatever, send them something and have it be totally separate from the exchange. you know?

Callyish
04-01-2008, 12:19 AM
Okay why does it matter if TOO buys someone something? Thats like saying you don't think its fair for anyone but yourself to buy a friend a bday pressie :confused:

And no I am not one of the people who receives gifts from TOO so don't think thats why im saying this.

britt244
04-01-2008, 12:20 AM
ok so why are we drawing names then? if everyone is just going to send gifts to whoever they want to too.. why not just pick your own freaking person?

Lysondra
04-01-2008, 12:25 AM
Also... I wonder how TOOs actual egg feels. Not saying anything bad but it's like... oh everyone gets two things and I just get TOO? Dunno just thinking.. no jumping on the TOOhating bandwagon, because I have a real crush on him, not an internet one. But it just occured to me. AND WTF ARE YOU DOING AWAKE, TOO?!

Callyish
04-01-2008, 12:27 AM
ok so why are we drawing names then? if everyone is just going to send gifts to whoever they want to too.. why not just pick your own freaking person?


Like I said I don't do it so I could care less, I was just voicing an opinion.

My guess is the names are drawn so there is still a secret to it and everyone gets something. At the same time though if someone wants to buy someone else something as well the option is there.

One of the clubs I work at does a secret santa thing every xmas but at the same time people will buy other people presents other then their ss. So im thinking its the same type of deal.

Fuck why am I even posting. This is just making me a target for more hate mail ::)

LoveComesFromWithin
04-01-2008, 12:27 AM
it's not mandatory to participate, so what the big deal. i enjoyed my exchange. I will read the thread over again to see why people dont like it.

aviendha
04-01-2008, 12:31 AM
I don't think anyone's telling TOO he can't buy people something if he wants. But I do agree that in the context of an exchange, where each person is supposed to buy and receive one gift, then having a "wild card" buying some people gifts and not others essentially violates the fairness of the exchange. If the rule is that one person gets one name and buys a gift for that person within the parameters defined by that exchange, then that rule should be followed, period. If someone (TOO or anyone else) wants to buy multiple people gifts, I see nothing wrong with that, but just do it privately and outside the context of a gift exchange.

I think this is a pretty simple concept. We all know the feeling of forced fairness, and sometimes that can be annoying, but I'm sure we all know the Charlie Brown feeling of seeing others get a ton of valentines while nobody gives you any. The point of an exchange should be to cheer people up and have fun, not turn it into a popularity contest where people are competing for a given user's generosity.

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 12:33 AM
I didn't read this whole thread but i will add my 2 cents
I voted for them to continue because i think the exchanges are cute and fun.
However honestly i'm a little salty that i went all out for my secret santa but never received my gift. I know who my SS was and even sent her a pm asking what was up and never got a reply back. (she is a veteran member with PLENTY of posts)
Unfortunately because of this i probably won't be participating again :(
I like stuff like this and it makes me a little sad that i won't play again so i don't get burned again.

out the bitch and let us make it up to you

Lysondra
04-01-2008, 12:34 AM
Same thing happened to me with V-day vixen. It sucked and made me feel like shit, especially since I even worked for mine! :(

But I still participated because I just like giving.

All Good Things
04-01-2008, 12:36 AM
Also... I wonder how TOOs actual egg feels.

Last I saw, she was jumping around squeeling about how excited she was about her big secret.


Not saying anything bad but it's like... oh everyone gets two things and I just get TOO?

Most people got one or two boxes. She got seven. I don't think she's complaining. I'm actually really looking forward to her pics!


AND WTF ARE YOU DOING AWAKE, TOO?!

What makes you think I sleep? I walk by mirrors and no reflection appears.

One other thought: Lys, you and Mermaid had the major gifts last time, and you'll notice that those have been rotated to others this time. They get moved around. Between people who request gifts and those who get them because their month sucked, or whatever, it's a very broad, democratic process. The gifts get spread all over the place.

BalletBaby
04-01-2008, 12:36 AM
I'm not for public lynchings, but are these people (the flakes) still active members?

All Good Things
04-01-2008, 12:47 AM
I think this is a pretty simple concept. We all know the feeling of forced fairness, and sometimes that can be annoying, but I'm sure we all know the Charlie Brown feeling of seeing others get a ton of valentines while nobody gives you any. The point of an exchange should be to cheer people up and have fun, not turn it into a popularity contest where people are competing for a given user's generosity.

Once again, people are not "competing for my generosity." One request to me in their list of gifts got them what they requested. So Charlie Brown, if he requested a valentine, would have happily received one.

It can't be any more direct, independent and unrelated to me, my choices or preferences: You tell me what you want, and you get it.

How does it get any simpler than that?

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 12:53 AM
I think the problem was posting it in the secret bunny thread because it's something completely separate. I'm just glad my egg loved her gift or else I'd feel like I was, I dunno, shown up? Gah, I'm so bad with words.

okay, I gotta jump in here as someone who had an egg who was shown especially favorable attention from TOO, and I am, of course, talking about Lysondra with the magic boots.

1. Lysondra got the boots way at the beginning. If my gift and her gift had arrived at the same time, yeah-- I might have felt shown up, but probably not because Lysondra is pretty easy to make go "SQUEE!"

2. Lysondra got stood up. it was one of the reason why I was esp. determined to make her box rock, to hell with shipping fees. Luckily, hers got mailed first and by that time I was like "fuck it, let's make everyone else's just as good, or as near as I can make it." So others absorbed that largesse just because of Lys.

3. I was wondering how Lys would accept my piddly little offerings, and then after getting to know her, I was like-- wow! her life (except her work life which I am jealous of in a good way) really sucks! (sorry, Lys. wouldn't post it like that if you hadn't first.) So I'm really honestly glad she got those boots because I don't know the ins and outs of what Lys's living situation is, but what I DO know makes me absolutely happy she got those boots and can get a daily remainder of human affection, completely altruistic or not.

4. care packages rock, esp.if a person has taken the time to find out what is going to make YOU happy. and getting mail rocks anyway. -shrug-

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 12:53 AM
HEY TOO... can I request a headlight for a Mitsubishi Magna SE? Thanks. :/

Edit: Passenger side. Thanks. :P

lol, eyeroll

sassysummer
04-01-2008, 12:57 AM
You tell me what you want, and you get it.

How does it get any simpler than that?



*whispers softly*
ahem...boobies
the squishy kind, c cup, please

aaandddd,


thank you

:-*


*scurries out stealthily*

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 01:00 AM
I don't think anyone's telling TOO he can't buy people something if he wants. But I do agree that in the context of an exchange, where each person is supposed to buy and receive one gift, then having a "wild card" buying some people gifts and not others essentially violates the fairness of the exchange. If the rule is that one person gets one name and buys a gift for that person within the parameters defined by that exchange, then that rule should be followed, period. If someone (TOO or anyone else) wants to buy multiple people gifts, I see nothing wrong with that, but just do it privately and outside the context of a gift exchange.

I think this is a pretty simple concept. We all know the feeling of forced fairness, and sometimes that can be annoying, but I'm sure we all know the Charlie Brown feeling of seeing others get a ton of valentines while nobody gives you any. The point of an exchange should be to cheer people up and have fun, not turn it into a popularity contest where people are competing for a given user's generosity.

I know what you're talking about with the charlie brown thing, but let's be honest-- some people are going to try harder to make their person happier than others. and if someone doesn't get a prezzie that reflects their persona or list or whatever, that can be a little disappointing.

having a wildcard in play helps offset that. I understand where people are coming with the 1:1 idea, but Cameron (one of my eggs) also got a prezzie from Lady Jade. I am stoked because Cam had a shitty month and needs all the love she can get.

you give as good as you get--
cam gave a lot, she received a lot
TOO gives a lot, and I hope he gets a lot, but I know he gets a lot of love and props from women here.
Lady Jade gave a lot and I hope she got a lot (esp.since I was her bunny.)

people either need to come to the conclusion to be happy with their 1:1, or make friends--- sign up for extra people if you want, or sign up for the craft thread.

I get the idea you guys are putting across I just don't agree.

All Good Things
04-01-2008, 01:02 AM
*whispers softly*
ahem...boobies
the squishy kind, c cup, please

aaandddd,


thank you

:-*


*scurries out stealthily*

"Squishy kind?"

OK, I'm guessing 320 cc to take you from small B to full C; saline, no lift, under the muscle. Hard to tell from a back view, admittedly.

aviendha
04-01-2008, 01:02 AM
Once again, people are not "competing for my generosity." One request to me in their list of gifts got them what they requested. So Charlie Brown, if he requested a valentine, would have happily received one.

It can't be any more direct, independent and unrelated to me, my choices or preferences: You tell me what you want, and you get it.

How does it get any simpler than that?

I'm not suggesting people ARE competing for your generosity. I'm suggesting that within the context of an exchange, messing with the fairness principle of one gift per participant has a high potential of causing bad feelings and a perception of favoritism. Doesn't matter if that's not actually the case, some people are going to see it that way. That's why I said that if one is going to participate in an exchange, then the rules of the exchange should be adhered to.

Outside the context of an exchange, go nuts buying stuff for whoever you want.

I would also suggest that if an exchange participant DOES get something from a SWer that wasn't their Secret Gift-Giver, they not post about it in the exchange thread so as not to cause the aforementioned ill will. Outside the thread, in a PM, on your Myspace, or in another thread, go nuts and talk about it all you want.

These are only suggestions. I have yet to participate in an exchange myself, so I don't really have a personal investment in the scenario.

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 01:05 AM
*whispers softly*
ahem...boobies
the squishy kind, c cup, please

aaandddd,


thank you

:-*


*scurries out stealthily*

I love you ;D

ColetteCalahan
04-01-2008, 01:09 AM
um.. i just read this whole thread (and ive been at work tonight - no i did not complain to a mod - haha it would be funny if i did, though) and i have to say i agree a tiiiiiiiiny bit about some rules changing.

yeah, i know. no, i'm not on drugs. :D

i absolutely do not think they should be stopped. i absolutely do think TOO makes things unfair. and no, i am not jealous. he flat out said after vday that special requests would be honored.. if i wanted something, i would've asked, as i've told him before. i think that if he's going to give gifts, great. but announcing publicly "oh i have gifts going out to this state and this one and that one" is really, really not cool. i can't even really explain it - it just gets under my skin. BIGTIME.

it defeats the purpose of the whole thing. if my egg had gotten a present from TOO i would be irritated. (no offense, pretty penny!) it's just - i don't know how to say it. i'm just very bothered by it.

:-\

THANK YOU!!!!!!

this is what i was saying! for some reason everyone is misinterpreting me tonight... which would usually lead me to re-examine what i'm saying, except i can't find anything wrong w/ it. Exactly, though, TOO changes the rules of the games and makes it exclusive and unfair.

PP- I never said I wanted it stopped, nor did I complain to a mod. I like the exchanges. I also think that respecting equal ratios is important. If TOO wants to give a gift on his own time, fine- but do it outside of the exchange and don't usurp the thread to talk about all the crap you're getting for select people while the rest feel snubbed.

Fancy Girl- I never said I disliked TOO. I do. I think he's generous and kind... as well as other obvious things (like intelligent). However, I think in his attempts to display these qualities, he can get carried away with what's appropriate or not...

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 01:12 AM
^ fair enough.

I don't view it the same way, but I can see how you would and respect your opinion.

I still hope majority rules on this one though.

sassysummer
04-01-2008, 01:15 AM
"Squishy kind?"

OK, I'm guessing 320 cc to take you from small B to full C; saline, no lift, under the muscle. Hard to tell from a back view, admittedly.


lol, close.... this kind (http://www.cohesiveimplants.com/), from this doc (http://www.markjewellmd.com) to take me from a small 'a' to a small/medium 'c', you know, just to fill out what the babies took away

but you know, only if you have an extra 7k laying around that you're not using :D

ruru123
04-01-2008, 01:16 AM
omg WHO CARES??!!! lmao...is there not bigger problems?? seriously who cares? for the ones that do....WHO CARES? it's a friggen gift exchange that anyone can participate in or not. GEEEZ!

All Good Things
04-01-2008, 01:17 AM
I'm not suggesting people ARE competing for your generosity.

This was the sentence in your post, verbatim:

"The point of an exchange should be to cheer people up and have fun, not turn it into a popularity contest where people are competing for a given user's generosity."


I'm suggesting that within the context of an exchange, messing with the fairness principle of one gift per participant has a high potential of causing bad feelings and a perception of favoritism.

So if I buy Lysondra a single gift, say, $10,000 knee-high Cavalli boots, I'm golden because I've remained within the confines of "a single gift per participant?"

More important, though, is that the main point is being missed. Again.

There can be no "favoritism" as long as the recipients specifically request the gifts themselves, and receive them. This is not favoritism. It cannot be favoritism. There cannot even be a "perception" of favoritism. There is no form of logic known to homo sapiens in which this constitutes favoritism.

I know it may come as a surprise, but I put a lot of thought into how to execute this gift exchange specifically to exclude and eliminate favoritism, promote inclusivity and broad participation.

And the notion that somebody might be upset because their gift was overshadowed by one of mine? I received a beautiful handmade gift that I think is terrific. Nobody could have sent me anything of any value that would have potentially overshadowed it. What we've seen in the reveal thread is that people cherish gifts because they reveal what the thought the gift-giver put into it. That's the reason so many people are absolutely thrilled with the gifts they've received, irrespective of their value. They show thoughtfulness and creativity and both are highly valued.

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 01:17 AM
SS: I like # 14 in the pictures section :D

ruru123
04-01-2008, 01:17 AM
and who's TOO? im confused.

sassysummer
04-01-2008, 01:18 AM
I love you ;D


:lovestruc:iloveyou: too!

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 01:21 AM
and who's TOO? im confused.

The Other Owner. the one catching a shit storm for gift giving :(

sassysummer
04-01-2008, 01:21 AM
SS: I like # 14 in the pictures section :D


oh, yes, very nice shape. i think because i have no hips it may be a tad, just a tad, too big, maybe more like 380 cc's...although that size would make a good titty fuck huh? BWHWHAHAHAHAHA ima crackin me up tonight! :D

sassysummer
04-01-2008, 01:23 AM
The Other Owner. the one catching a shit storm for gift giving :(


now see, if he just gives me my boobies, i'll take pictures and everyone will be so happy that he gave me my girlies back, with a lil extra, that all will be forgiven and right with the world!

aviendha
04-01-2008, 01:25 AM
This was the sentence in your post, verbatim:

"The point of an exchange should be to cheer people up and have fun, not turn it into a popularity contest where people are competing for a given user's generosity."

I'm not going to sit here and play the hairsplitting game about what I said. I was clear in saying that if one is participating in an exchange, then they should adhere to the rules of the exchange. If that means one gift-giver per person, then that's one gift-giver per person. If anyone, including you, wants to give a gift outside the rules of the exchange, then do so. Just don't bring it into the thread, because even if you don't think it SHOULD cause disruption, it clearly does, even if on a minor scale.

If you want to start an exchange where people send you gift requests and you fulfill them, then go right ahead and start a thread about that. There's no reason why you can't.

Darcy Foxx
04-01-2008, 01:32 AM
This was the sentence in your post, verbatim:

"The point of an exchange should be to cheer people up and have fun, not turn it into a popularity contest where people are competing for a given user's generosity."



So if I buy Lysondra a single gift, say, $10,000 knee-high Cavalli boots, I'm golden because I've remained within the confines of "a single gift per participant?"

More important, though, is that the main point is being missed. Again.

There can be no "favoritism" as long as the recipients specifically request the gifts themselves, and receive them. This is not favoritism. It cannot be favoritism. There cannot even be a "perception" of favoritism. There is no form of logic known to homo sapiens in which this constitutes favoritism.

I know it may come as a surprise, but I put a lot of thought into how to execute this gift exchange specifically to exclude and eliminate favoritism, promote inclusivity and broad participation.

And the notion that somebody might be upset because their gift was overshadowed by one of mine? I received a beautiful handmade gift that I think is terrific. Nobody could have sent me anything of any value that would have potentially overshadowed it. What we've seen in the reveal thread is that people cherish gifts because they reveal what the thought the gift-giver put into it. That's the reason so many people are absolutely thrilled with the gifts they've received, irrespective of their value. They show thoughtfulness and creativity and both are highly valued.

i think it's more so the fact whether you see it or not, and whether people come out and say it or not, you VERY PUBLICALLY giving someone on this board a $10,000 gift which is then VERY PUBLICALLY flaunted to other members makes a LOT of people uncomfortable, and that is something that we mods hear about and are in a position where we must deal with it. yes, it probably is jealousy, but like it or not, it's there and it's a major, major problem.

Darcy Foxx
04-01-2008, 01:33 AM
If you want to start an exchange where people send you gift requests and you fulfill them, then go right ahead and start a thread about that. There's no reason why you can't.

i would advise against this for the time being.

All Good Things
04-01-2008, 01:34 AM
Just don't bring it into the thread, because even if you don't think it SHOULD cause disruption, it clearly does, even if on a minor scale.

The "disruption" is vastly, overwhelmingly outweighed by the shared joy people experience in observing the various reveals, particularly those involving multiple gifts. Several posters have said how much fun it was to see the joy experienced by all people who received a wide variety of gifts they loved.


If you want to start an exchange where people send you gift requests and you fulfill them, then go right ahead and start a thread about that. There's no reason why you can't.

We already have one like this and it's working perfectly. Sans what is apparently an exceedingly small minority of people who haven't quite grasped that there is no measure of favoritism anywhere.

It's absolutely impossible to keep all the people happy all the time. But the current system is doing a bang-up job of keeping the overwhelming majority of participants pretty darn friggin' happy a great deal of the time. :) In my book, that is a success.

Brendita
04-01-2008, 01:34 AM
omg WHO CARES??!!! lmao...is there not bigger problems?? seriously who cares? for the ones that do....WHO CARES? it's a friggen gift exchange that anyone can participate in or not. GEEEZ!

My thoughts exactly.
I can't believe that people are actually behaving so selfishly. I am actually relieved that I didn't have the money to get involved in these gift exchanges. I would hate to think that somebody secretly didn't like my gift just because it wasn't something expensive from TOO.

aviendha
04-01-2008, 01:34 AM
i would advise against this for the time being.

Well, yeah. I wasn't being literal about that. What I mean is that there's no reason why one can't start an exchange with different rules, rather than swap-jacking (so to speak) an existing exchange by giving gifts outside the agreed-upon parameters.

ruru123
04-01-2008, 01:36 AM
well i don't know why people on hating on TOO then. we should all be happy for eachother. and KUDO"S to TOO, i could just imagine the joy you brought to the girls when they opened their packages!! us girls LOVE getting prezy's and goodies, especially high end ones that most of us can't afford on our own. :)

fancygirl
04-01-2008, 01:42 AM
Well, yeah. I wasn't being literal about that. What I mean is that there's no reason why one can't start an exchange with different rules, rather than swap-jacking (so to speak) an existing exchange by giving gifts outside the agreed-upon parameters.

but isn't that what is happening now if the majority of people involved are happy with the current exchange system? This unhappy minority is the one swap-jacking, not TOO.

so that means you all can go to the special trouble of making your non-TOO gift exchange. we like our system.

austinatalie
04-01-2008, 01:43 AM
I, for obvious reasons, think this is getting crazy. Can't a girl just enjoy her presents for 5 minutes without everyone going up in arms about fairness?

*see reveal thread.

ruru123
04-01-2008, 01:44 AM
I, for obvious reasons, think this is getting crazy. Can't a girl just enjoy her presents for 5 minutes without everyone going up in arms about fairness?

*see reveal thread.


i totally agree with you. i hate to say it, but it's just jealousy. enjoy your gifts girl!!!

aviendha
04-01-2008, 01:45 AM
The "disruption" is vastly, overwhelmingly outweighed by the shared joy people experience in observing the various reveals, particularly those involving multiple gifts. Several posters have said how much fun it was to see the joy experienced by all people who received a wide variety of gifts they loved.

So your justification for doing this is that more people feel good about it than feel bad?

If the joy is in the giving, and if the giving has nothing to do with the exchange, and if the giving is likewise done in a completely impartial manner...then why post about it at all? And if a thread already exists to discuss the gifts you give people...why not post about it there, not in an unrelated exchange thread?

I'm not telling you (or anyone!) not to give people gifts, or participate in an exchange. I'm saying that the rules of an exchange should be adhered to in order to be fair to everyone. Why is that such an unreasonable request?

rooster470
04-01-2008, 01:46 AM
We need to remember what's important.


Cute Baby Bunnies. ;D

All Good Things
04-01-2008, 01:47 AM
i think it's more so the fact whether you see it or not, and whether people come out and say it or not, you VERY PUBLICALLY giving someone on this board a $10,000 gift which is then VERY PUBLICALLY flaunted to other members makes a LOT of people uncomfortable, and that is something that we mods hear about and are in a position where we must deal with it. yes, it probably is jealousy, but like it or not, it's there and it's a major, major problem.

That was a hypothetical, not a real, $10,000 gift. I was using that as an extreme example of why a single gift policy does not eliminate a potential jealousy problem.

It's important to remember that Lysondra was completely stiffed in the last gift exchange. Her Valentine just vanished and left her hanging. I sent her those boots as a special case to make up for being left hanging in the air in a very public way. Moreover, the boots had become a running joke in the thread that we had a lot of fun with and I'm quite sure even Lys didn't think I was going to actually do it.

It was the exception in the entire exchange and not representative of the fun everybody had with all the gifts.

It can't possibly be true that a very small measure of jealousy -- which is completely confounding at all, because any person who would be potentially jealous just has to friggin' ask me for something and they will get it and poof! there goes the jealousy -- by any measure outweighs the fun and enjoyment from a broad-based activity involving 60 people from the site.

sassysummer
04-01-2008, 01:50 AM
just has to friggin' ask me for something and they will get it and poof!



**cough**cough**

boo(cough)bies

*cough *ahem


huh, must've had something in my throat....weird











:P

BalletBaby
04-01-2008, 01:50 AM
We need to remember what's important.


Cute Baby Bunnies. ;D

I <3 you rooster.

ColetteCalahan
04-01-2008, 01:52 AM
TOO.. how are my posts contradictory?? I said in both that you were generous and kind. I wouldn't have added anything or ever opened my mouth if someone else hadn't complained to a mod or if I wasn't asked to explain why someone might POSSIBly be hurt by this. Your response posts were the most verbose ways of telling me you thought posts a.) and b.) were contradictory.. lAWDY....

as Darcy pointed out, it's the PubLIC part that makes it a problem- it's the fact that you use the exchanges as your own exclusive gift-giving campaign that I have a problem with. Can something not be both generous and really irritating at the same time??

and, contrary to what Darcy said- this AIN't jealousy. I never asked for anything, didn't expect anything, haven't necessarily agreed with you in the past, etc. I DO like to see fairness, though, when possible.