View Full Version : I fucking SUCK as a stripper
iambonbon05
04-07-2008, 12:51 PM
Wow... I cannot IMAGINE people saying that kind of shit here. Maybe think it but I think most people would rather die than say that aloud. Maybe I'm just oblivious because I'm white... it's really sad there's still people like that.
You sound a lot like me, especially a few months ago. New, shy, a pushover, not very confident, needing to switch clubs but not wanting to. The difference being I have dealt with maybe two guys that reach something close on the asshole-o-meter when it sounds like you get a dozen every night! RUN! I know you want to wait, do research, whatever but I really don't think you could do worse than you are right now. The grass really is greener!
In the meantime some ladies here gave some great tips. To add:
- Don't pay attention to the other girls. For all you know they could be lying. Really. Pay attention to how hard you're trying and how you're doing. Think of something positive at the end of each night. For example yesterday I took home $16 but I was out there the whole time hustling my ass off when I could and while it was dead (NO customers for a good couple hours) I had a lot of fun with my friend. And besides, I made good money the two days before that. Can't win em all.
- Every girl has something that makes them believe that the guys won't like them. In your case you're having problems because you're black. As an example, I often have problems because I'm chubby. I am not everyone's (or even most people's) cup of tea, but there's always the one guy there that wants to swoop me up BECAUSE I have some meat on my bones. In your case walk away from the guys that are rude about your race and remember there will be some that love you because of it. There's "ebony fetish" porn all over the internet for a reason!
Good luck, you're a strong chica. I would have probably been in the DR crying all night :-\
CuriousSeeker
04-07-2008, 01:50 PM
But for now, you're a newbie, and you have a lot to learn. Don't feel discouraged. It took me a month to make over $200 dollars.
I love you for saying this. Thank you.
secondtimearound
04-21-2008, 03:29 PM
Sparkleeyz,
I'm so sorry that happened to you. The guy should really be ashamed of himself for that sh!t.
You do NOT suck as a stripper - you just need to find a club where the customers are more responsive to beautiful ebony women.
cinammonkisses
04-22-2008, 11:56 AM
I agree with 2nd...you do not suck at being a stripper. I know it's a hard pill to swallow considering everyone is telilng you to just up and leave that club and all. But trust us...you DEFINATELY deserve better than the bs you're going through. Hopefully you do take the other SW members up on their offer to try out some better $$$ clubs in the Phillly area.
Good luck,
cK
kaiarose
04-22-2008, 12:04 PM
What is it?? The year 1955??? I can't stand how narrow minded and ignorant some people are! You should've licked his face like a dog just to really shove the whole racist b.s. down his throat. (Although you probably wouldn't have wanted your mouth anywhere near him, but there's always listerine!)
Cameo
04-22-2008, 01:58 PM
Sparkleeyz, I swear we had the exact same night! I feel your pain... we just gotta hang in there!
Elusive21
04-22-2008, 03:44 PM
Where is Sparkleeys? She hasn't responded in a while to this thread and I was wondering if they situation in her club has changed at all or if she still even works there.
fluffypenguin
04-22-2008, 05:40 PM
Bucks party groups always suck, the guys in them are two types- scared and pussywhipped by thier girlfriends or boozed up redneck morons who are trying to impress thier mates with their arsehole behavior. they tend to spend big on one or two dancers witha big show for the buck, everyone else is only there for the show.
Next thing to remember is not to lose sight of reality money wise. it's easy to find yourself getting depressed from a crap night even though you've done 5 times an average weekly wage in 4 nights. Don't listen to what other dancers are "saying" they make. They always bullshit. You have to learn to accept that some nights just suck for you, even if everyone else seems busy.
Stay true to yourself. I've tried every method under the sun. I'm not a pushy person, I tried that and didn't like myself. You'll work out what customers like your style and what you have to offer, you will learn to pick up on the signals that mean you are not going to have success and save yourself wasting time, don't put up with idiots, one of the perks of the job is that we can simply walk away. You only need to find a couple of good paying customers to make your night.
I work in a club that has a lot of regulars. I give them my time and I do an awesome dance which they always pay well for (no minimun dances for me!) I never have to ask for a dance (I actually suck too at being pushy or assertive) but you know i make as much as the other dancers because I have a reputation for doing awesome dances. Customers come up to me and say "fantastic! You're still here, i got a dance from you 4 months ago and was hoping you'd be here, lets go"
I'll also add that I'm in my 40's very average looking and come across as quite shy. You don't have to be like everyone else. Be patient and find what your assets are and work them to your advantage.
And again, walk away from the asshats, they never pay well and just suck away your esteem.
kikidejavu
04-23-2008, 01:19 PM
yea i wanna know how she's doin. hopefully she's too busy packing for vegas to post!
sparkleeyz
04-24-2008, 03:28 PM
Hello my ladies! Well let me update you all on what's been going on with me. I stayed at the club like a dumbass. The owner and his son yelled at me again for not selling enough dances and the weekend dj is a dick head as well, yelling at the girls etc. I learned a handful of pole tricks and have gotten much more comfortable with my stage show. So I'm happy about that. But what took the cake is what happened last week, I was dancing on stage and bent over in front of a guy at the tip rail. The guy decided it would be amusing to light a fucking lighter between my legs about an inch away from my naked crotch while I was bent over. I turned around and swung, punching him in the ear. The bouncer happened to be behind him and what did he do? He "spoke" to the guy, but didn't kick him out. Ha! Can you believe that? The night before that, a group of guys that were friends of the owners son were in for a bachelor party and grabbed one girls crotch. She told the bouncer and he said he couldn't do anything about it.
So anyway, the other night 3 girls quit the club because they haven't been making enough money. These are girls that have been there for quite some time and make good money by my standards. So just seeing that says a lot. So thank you ladies for giving me the encouragement to get out of that place. I'm using the next 2 weeks to check out clubs in NJ and Philly until I find some place that suits me. I will keep you all updated. ;D
SundayMorning
04-24-2008, 03:55 PM
That is among the most fucked up things I've read about on here. A fucking LIGHTER?! Oh HELL no. Good on you for punching the fucker!
Also I'm glad you've been working on your technique (and it sounds like your confidence too!). That'll make it much, much easier to transition into an actual GOOD club where there's money to be had without the trauma of this hellhole! Yay you and thank you for the update!
Vyanka
04-25-2008, 07:36 AM
What a useless piece of shit bouncer. And damn that club sounds like a hell hole. Glad you're leaving soon.
kikidejavu
04-25-2008, 09:43 AM
thanks for the update sweetie! i hope you are ok, and not tramatized from old dude trying to cook your vagina *weak attempt at making you laugh about something soo not funny!!* good luck at the new places!
cinammonkisses
04-26-2008, 11:08 AM
So thank you ladies for giving me the encouragement to get out of that place. I'm using the next 2 weeks to check out clubs in NJ and Philly until I find some place that suits me. I will keep you all updated. ;D
Awesome news! Good luck on these new clubs you'll be visiting soon.
iambonbon05
04-26-2008, 12:49 PM
Good luck! If you can handle that club, you can handle ANYTHING
Guys not getting kicked out when they should be earns the club a big fat NO for me.
hot4ablackchick
04-27-2008, 03:52 PM
Good luck at the new place! You are new and it will take a lil' time to find your niche and make $$. You do not suck as a stripper. It took me a long time to get where you are even, as I was very shy. Stick to it my money was slow at first too. It sounds as if the management at your former club sucks if the guy didn't kicked out for lighting something near your naked crotch. Also the 50% made off your dances sucks as well. Good riddance to that club.
Your hustle was ok, but may be too short and a bit too much for the customer. I would not advise straddling, this could be too intimidating for the custy who is a bit nervous about dancing with a black girl. I would sit closely beside him if possible in a chair of my own. I always ask if its ok if I can sit down and rest my feet for a moment, if they say no move on and tell them to enjoy themselves. Don't let the guys who say no bother you, they did you a favor. No use in talking to someone who is completely disinterested. Most guys will say ok, so sit down nice and cozy next to him, introduce yourself and make some small talk. Ask him how his day was, if he's been there before, find somethimg to compliment him on. His watch, clothing, manners, haircut, body, something as long as its somewhat genuine. People are suckers for compliments. Smile A LOT and make LOTS of eye contact. After 1-3 songs depending on how busy it is ask them for a dance. Make them feel comfortable and even if you don't feel confident fake it.
But please remember there will ALWAYS be tacky rude guys that say downright racist things to you. Remember people are dumb, and don't expect guys to get kicked out at any club because they are tacky (as in the kiss on the cheek guy to prove he's not racist ugh) If custies are droppin the n-bomb or drawing swastikas then yeah the door, but as a black dancer you may as well know that most of the racism will be more subtle, where do you think I got hot4ablackchick girl!? Guys say that to me all the time. Don't be rude to the guys in the tacky racist category but do correct them. There are some guys that would love to get a dance from the black dancer and others who absolutely will not. Most of the guys fall into the "man she's pretty, but I don't feel comfortable getting a dance from her because she's black" category. Remember, a lot of your customers will likely be white unless you're at a black club. Most white men have no experience with black women, so may not know how to "act" around them, therefore not feel too comfy getting a dance from. They may not feel comfy because they:
1. Do not feel comfy around blacks, as they do not have much experience being around blacks
2. Feel they have no chance of ever being with a black girl because of the stereotype that black girls do not like white men and would never date a white man, especially if the man feels they are not 'cool' enough to hang out with a black girl. Guys will sometimes buy dances from girls they think they may have a chance with in real life. Some will veiw black girls as no chance in hell, so will not buy from you even if they they think you're hottest girl in the joint.
3. They wonder what the other customers/friends will think about them buying from a black girl. Dumb but true. As with any dancer though, being seen making money will make you money. If they see you laughing smiling with other custies then this will make them want to buy from you. They may feel they shouldn't mix and the black dancers are there for the black customers or they'll anger the black custies by buying from you.
4. They're downright racist
5. They have never seen a black woman naked before outside of TV/magazines and feel nervous about it.
All this said, us black girls usually have to work it a bit harder than the white girls. It may be different at some clubs and some nights it will be easy, others it will be tough. I've been dancing 6 years and have encountered every kind of subtle racism. Such as being the only girl not being tipped, everyone suddenly leaving the stage when I come on, and a host of dumb ass comments. I just wanted to let you know that there is no "majic club" where all this dissappears. I know I'm not ugly, I'm 5'8" 128 lbs, hair down to my mid back, and 34D fake boobs. I still have to deal with the bullshit!
You will have to "win" most of these guys over with your personality. Even though I too get angry, sad, frustrated when my other coworkers just walk up and ask for dances and get them and I have to work to get them most of the time. Sucks. Good luck to you.
kikidejavu
04-28-2008, 09:27 AM
^ thank you. its very reassuring to hear that, because it is sometimes frustrating to be looked at as "less than" even tho i def dont see myself as less than. i have to remember that i am fucking gorgeous, and that i still make bank regardless
jaizaine
04-28-2008, 09:30 AM
Babe how long have u been dancing? You said u r new, give yourself time to work out your hustle, how to spot time wasters etc. No one style works for every dancer.
secondtimearound
04-28-2008, 05:29 PM
hot4ablackchick,
That's excellent advice. Props on the post. It can be very frustrating being a Black stripper working in "white" establishments, because there is/can be so much racism. Blatant or subtle, it still hurts. Logically, you know it's really not you, but when you get turned down, ignored, see Medusa get tipped while no one approaches you, etcetera, it will start messing with your mind and all logic goes out of the window. I can't lie and say it didn't affect my confidence as a new dancer. It was a factor in why I stopped dancing. The desire to come back has always been there, but I'd remind myself of the b.s. and talk myself out of it.
I'm starting again next month and if I have to print this out and refer to it in those low moments, I just may do that. :)
hot4ablackchick
04-29-2008, 10:00 AM
^^Thanks!! Good luck and I hope you do wonderfully! I had a tough time starting out too, I was the only black girl when I started and didn't even realize the racism until after I danced a while and watched the new (white) girls come in and bank. I thought I wasn't making money because I was new and just sucked at dancing. It was very heartbreaking seeing what it really was. I learned to change my hustle and stop letting it get to me to the point of feeling not as good as the other girls. We've gotta remember its not us, its them, and if this crowd is a bunch of douchebags doesn't mean we won't be banking 2 hours later. Just remember to keep positive. Glad I could be of help.
ihearthepole
04-29-2008, 01:37 PM
Find a new club, that's still bullshit to me... and also reminds me of when I first started... and I'd open my mouth and chit chat and after about a minute I'd hear "Hey, You sound SMART! Are you in college?" Implying I don't have ghetto slang in my speech just because I'm black... Totally lame... Anyways it just got better, the owner of the club was kind of mad I Left at my first club but whatever. It was a stepping stone to get to a more upscaleclub lol. Good luck girlie :)