View Full Version : How can I be a good customer?
yoda57us
05-02-2008, 12:14 PM
I disagree with very little in this post. I just think there are limits to which anyone should be willing to go to make that living. And you may not have actually said that, but you definitely have a pro-dancer bias.
Well of course I do! I'm sure you've seen the guys in blue calling me a suck up, accusing me of being a dancer and generally giving me shit for almost always taking the dancers side right? Well, guilty as charged BEM but in this particular case I just happen to think that you are pissing and moaning about what is simply the most basic truth of what dancing is: getting a guy to spend his money on you.
True, but that doesn't mean it is right to profit from his weakness either.
You use the word "profit" like it's cheating or stealing BEM. It's not, it is simply the way dancers make a living. It is, quite frankly, the way all people in sales make a living.
UtahMike
05-02-2008, 08:30 PM
I wonder a few things here.
First, what makes you think you can tell by appearance that a person is mentally handicapped? Most of them look and speak perfectly normally, Hollywood stereotypes notwithstanding. And, some people who fit the stereotypes are intellectually just fine, thankee sai.
Second, suppose this mentally handicapped guy had gone out and bought two $1500 tailored suits that he didn't need? Would the store have fired the salesperson?
Last, whenever I leave a stripclub, I AM cleaned out. That means I spent every dollar I took in with me, because I purposely take with me only the amount I intend to spend. If I have money left, I am disappointed that I did not get the chance to spend it, not that the rest of it is gone.
So, dancers, go ahead! Take advantage of me! A hug afterwards would be nice, though.
bem401
05-03-2008, 06:59 AM
I wonder a few things here.
First, what makes you think you can tell by appearance that a person is mentally handicapped? Most of them look and speak perfectly normally, Hollywood stereotypes notwithstanding. And, some people who fit the stereotypes are intellectually just fine, thankee sai.
Second, suppose this mentally handicapped guy had gone out and bought two $1500 tailored suits that he didn't need? Would the store have fired the salesperson?
Last, whenever I leave a stripclub, I AM cleaned out. That means I spent every dollar I took in with me, because I purposely take with me only the amount I intend to spend. If I have money left, I am disappointed that I did not get the chance to spend it, not that the rest of it is gone.
So, dancers, go ahead! Take advantage of me! A hug afterwards would be nice, though.
The guy is question was clearly mentally handicapped. I'm not saying either there is an epidemic of special needs people being taken advantage of in SC's either. I merely relayed one case that was brought to my attention locally.
Just because he is vulnerable to being taken advantage of in one arena ( like your example of the clothing store) doesn't mean its okay to take advantage of him in another. Note that my last sentence did not even mention strippers.
My visits to the strip club are much like yours. I know what I am going to spend and pretty much keep to that. When I was more at risk years ago for losing control, I brought only what I was willing to spend. That's not so much a problem anymore. If I do spend alot, I accept it and harbor no bitterness, so to that extent I agree with you. I was never critical of that particular situation at all. My original reason for being critical in this thread was because of the term "financial ruin". That isn't going to happen in one night or even a few nights. I also agree that any otherwise normal person who allows himself to be ruined financially ( in a SC, casino, by drugs, etc, etc, etc ) should have known better. That doesn't mean the person who provided the opportunity to destroy one's self is without some responsibliity. Certainly there is no legal responsibility. Morally, well that is up to each individual person to decide.
And by "profit", I meant seeing an opportunity to exploit a weakness and taking advantage of it and I wasn't directing that comment at dancers. I was directing it the the "I'm not my brother's keeper" quote.
yoda57us
05-03-2008, 09:19 AM
And by "profit", I meant seeing an opportunity to exploit a weakness and taking advantage of it and I wasn't directing that comment at dancers. I was directing it the the "I'm not my brother's keeper" quote.
BEM, I understood perfectly well what you were referring to. That doesn't change my opinion on your use of the word. As far as not directing it towards the dancers? Duuuuude, that has to be the best job of back-pedaling I've seen in quite some time! This whole discourse is about dancers and customers. Did you change the subject without telling anyone else?
bem401
05-03-2008, 09:46 AM
BEM, I understood perfectly well what you were referring to. That doesn't change my opinion on your use of the word. As far as not directing it towards the dancers? Duuuuude, that has to be the best job of back-pedaling I've seen in quite some time! This whole discourse is about dancers and customers. Did you change the subject without telling anyone else?
OK, then I wasn't directing it specifically at anyone but rather at any individual or group who takes advantage of someone just because they find themselves in a position to do so. I was speaking in a very general sense and have not backpedalled one inch from my position that I don't condone knowingly bleeding someone dry. I'm merely pointing out that it is no less unacceptable elsewhere than the club.
We are all aware of situations where guys get totally delusional and turn their piggy banks upside down in the hopes it will lead to something more. Hell, this happens outsided the clubs too. Some girls realize this and try to set the guy straight and make it clear things are going nowhere before the damage ( financial and otherwise) gets out of hand. Others try to keep things going until the well is dry. I have a lot more respect for the former girl than the latter.
yoda57us
05-03-2008, 10:58 AM
We are all aware of situations where guys get totally delusional and turn their piggy banks upside down in the hopes it will lead to something more. Hell, this happens outsided the clubs too. Some girls realize this and try to set the guy straight and make it clear things are going nowhere before the damage ( financial and otherwise) gets out of hand. Others try to keep things going until the well is dry. I have a lot more respect for the former girl than the latter.
Well honestly BEM I do as well, but that's not really my argument here.
I like girls who don't give a guy their phone number and tease him about OTC when all they really want is to ask him when he's coming back to spend more money. I REALLY like girls who never call me and ask when I'm coming to see them and spend more money, they tend to be the ones I actually go see and spend money on. I like girls who are happy to see me once a week, once a month or once a year, appreciate what I spend on them and don't blow smoke up my ass in an attempt to get more of my money. I like girls who do the job with respect for the customer, other dancers, club employees and themselves. But I also understand that every dancer has her own way of operating. Watching a dancer leading a guy by the hand to the ATM machine all night until it won't spit out any more money is not a problem for me. Watching her repeat the process with the same guy day after day until he has no more money to spend on her is also not a problem for me. His fault, not hers. No dancer is responsible for getting a financial statement or a psychological profile from a customer before she asks him for a dance...
Victoryx0x0
05-03-2008, 11:57 AM
if you tip all the girls, and just be polite when u say no, say lap dances arent your thing, i respect that! :)
yoda57us
05-03-2008, 02:05 PM
Agree to disagree?
I can't believe this thread is still going.
LOL, Well, we disagree, but I doubt we will ever agree on it....;D
bem401
05-04-2008, 08:22 AM
Well honestly BEM I do as well, but that's not really my argument here.
I like girls who don't give a guy their phone number and tease him about OTC when all they really want is to ask him when he's coming back to spend more money. I REALLY like girls who never call me and ask when I'm coming to see them and spend more money, they tend to be the ones I actually go see and spend money on. I like girls who are happy to see me once a week, once a month or once a year, appreciate what I spend on them and don't blow smoke up my ass in an attempt to get more of my money. I like girls who do the job with respect for the customer, other dancers, club employees and themselves. But I also understand that every dancer has her own way of operating. Watching a dancer leading a guy by the hand to the ATM machine all night until it won't spit out any more money is not a problem for me. Watching her repeat the process with the same guy day after day until he has no more money to spend on her is also not a problem for me. His fault, not hers. No dancer is responsible for getting a financial statement or a psychological profile from a customer before she asks him for a dance...
I agree with virtually everything here except that I don't think the dancer is totally blame-free when the guy is drained of all his money over a period of months. Agreed though that it is overwhelmingly the guy's fault.
pdxminx
05-04-2008, 11:08 PM
Bem-
You've never really explained how the dancer is supposed to know when a guy is "draining" himself. When a customer comes in night after night and keeps spending a good amount of money on me, how am I supposed to know if he can afford it or not?
bem401
05-05-2008, 06:29 AM
Bem-
You've never really explained how the dancer is supposed to know when a guy is "draining" himself. When a customer comes in night after night and keeps spending a good amount of money on me, how am I supposed to know if he can afford it or not?
The cases I'm thinking of involved guys spending in excess of $1500 a week on a girl, week after week after week. In one case, this went on for a year and a half. It seems the guy had long term plans for the relationship. Now, whether she was dangling that in front of him, I don't know, but if she didn't realize there was something wrong with this picture, she was the only one in the club who didn't. And she's been a very successful dancer over a 10 year period, so I have to think she was well aware of what was happening. Several of us in the club had remarked to each other ( but neither of them ) that this isn't going to end well for months.
Now, before people start screaming at me about how it was his fault, let me say I agree he has to take responsibility for his own actions, not that he has much choice now, anyway. If the guy knew all along that this was the way it was destined to end, then I shouldn't judge so harshly, but that is not the case as I understand it.
As far how you can tell, I don't know what to tell you. The next question, and the one people disagree on, is "should you care?" . It seems I don't share the same view as many here.
Elvia
05-05-2008, 12:32 PM
I don't know Bem...how are you supposed to know they're not just that rich?
And even if one does have a suspicion that a guy is spending beyond his means, I really can't imagine saying something about it. What am I supposed to say "Hey, I don't think you can afford to spend this much money?" How incredibly insulting. And if I'm wrong, and he really does just have this much money to blow, then I very well could lose my customer, who very well might just wander over to another girl and keep spending the same amount on her.
The specific situation you mentioned might be different. But I think it's very rare that a dancer knows enough about a guy's personal finances to know what they can and cannot afford. There are poor guys who throw on their best suit and walk around the club with piles of cash they never can or will spend. There are rich guys who wear jeans and T-shirts. Honestly, the only way I know how to judge whether a customer is rich or not...is by how much he's spending.
It's sad if someone goes to a club and spends a huge amount of money on a girl with the expectation of a relationship. But I've had PLENTY of customers who continued to believe there was a shot at a relationship time and time again after I told them there wasn't. It's not alway immediately apparent that they are still clinging to these hopes. Almost every time they nod along and say they understand, and continue to be customers...until they ask me out again a few weeks later and get pissy when the answer is still "no." Is it my fault? Should I give them back my hard earned money because they had false expectations? I really don't think so.
bem401
05-05-2008, 01:33 PM
You may be right in that it may not be possible to tell whether someone is digging themselves a hole. Maybe pretending to have unlimited funds is part of his "sales pitch" so to speak.
I never advocated a refund either.The only "fault" I was finding was with knowingly wiping out a guy's bank account.
And I agree if you made it clear that the relationship would remain in the club with nothing more even hinted at, then I would say you've done all anyone could ask of you.
hockeybobby
05-05-2008, 01:58 PM
It's sad if someone goes to a club and spends a huge amount of money on a girl with the expectation of a relationship. But I've had PLENTY of customers who continued to believe there was a shot at a relationship time and time again after I told them there wasn't. It's not alway immediately apparent that they are still clinging to these hopes. Almost every time they nod along and say they understand, and continue to be customers...until they ask me out again a few weeks later and get pissy when the answer is still "no." Is it my fault? Should I give them back my hard earned money because they had false expectations? I really don't think so.
The best regular customers are those that recognize that there is a relationship that exists already...it exists in the club, cannot be duplicated outside the club, and is sufficiently satisfactory and enjoyable that an OTC request need not be made nor accepted.
UtahMike
05-05-2008, 08:19 PM
I wish I had enough bucks to spend $1500 a week in a strip club for a year and a half. But I do have to wonder if I had that much fun every week, would it be as much thrill as I get by saving up for three or four months to spend a few hundred? Anticipation makes it tht much nicer when the night finally arrives.
Probably, I'd buy a new computer, first, though, if I had that much money.
yoda57us
05-06-2008, 09:29 AM
The cases I'm thinking of involved guys spending in excess of $1500 a week on a girl, week after week after week. In one case, this went on for a year and a half. It seems the guy had long term plans for the relationship. Now, whether she was dangling that in front of him, I don't know, but if she didn't realize there was something wrong with this picture, she was the only one in the club who didn't. And she's been a very successful dancer over a 10 year period, so I have to think she was well aware of what was happening. Several of us in the club had remarked to each other ( but neither of them ) that this isn't going to end well for months.
Yep, Nothing says "get a life" quite like a bunch of guys in a strip club sitting around talking about how a dancer is working a particular customer...
LOL, you have just hit on the number one reason why I go to clubs alone, don't talk to other customers and never talk about dancers with other dancers...Thanks BEM for re-affirming that I have doing things right all of these years...
bem401
05-06-2008, 05:00 PM
Yep, Nothing says "get a life" quite like a bunch of guys in a strip club sitting around talking about how a dancer is working a particular customer...
LOL, you have just hit on the number one reason why I go to clubs alone, don't talk to other customers and never talk about dancers with other dancers...Thanks BEM for re-affirming that I have doing things right all of these years...
Well, I've never been the type to visit a club and sit by myself avoiding conversations with people I've been acquainted with for months, if not years, waiting for a particular person to find time for me. I also go alone but generally know 6 to 12 people to speak to at either of the clubs I frequent.
yoda57us
05-06-2008, 05:14 PM
Well, I've never been the type to visit a club and sit by myself avoiding conversations with people I've been acquainted with for months, if not years, waiting for a particular person to find time for me.
BEM, whatever floats your boat dude. I go to strip clubs to spend time and money on my favorite dances. I don't usually have to wait for long...
bem401
05-06-2008, 05:22 PM
BEM, whatever floats your boat dude. I go to strip clubs to spend time and money on my favorite dances. I don't usually have to wait for long...
I never made any reference to you or what you do. I just said I know too many people to avoid conversations with them.
yoda57us
05-06-2008, 06:11 PM
I never made any reference to you or what you do. I just said I know too many people to avoid conversations with them.
Whatever BEM, whatever...
AmbrosiaSpice
06-16-2009, 12:31 PM
LessPaul - Why don't you just go in with, say, $25 or $50 (that's not a lot, right?) in ones, and be the guy who tips dollars generously to all the girls on stage? This will get you, say 30 mins - 1 hour there, depending on the size of the club, and then you will definitely not be complained about. Stay at the tip rail - girls are less likely to approach you for a lap dance anyway and you can just say, "Thank you, but I'm just here to enjoy the show on stage," then make it obvious you are not a loser by putting a tip down as you say it. Then when THAT girl gets on stage - make sure you prove it to her by tipping her, too.
That should not make you the bane of my existence, anyway. As long as you tip on stage, even if you say no to a lap dance, you are not a complete asshole.
Donovan28
06-19-2009, 09:00 PM
How to be a good customer doesn't just involve cash. (That is #1 though)
The ladies dress hot, you should too. No flip flops and nylon shorts or sweat pants.
Smile. It increases your face value. Practice in the mirror if you have to. Nobody wants to sit with the scary guy with the perma-frown.
Be interesting. If you aren't sure this girl is for you yet, talk about something she might be interested in. Stay away from politics and religion.
Don't grope her unless she wants you to. The best dances you'll ever get are when you sit on your hands. She'll let you know if you're 'supposed' to touch (probably not)
Buy drinks. The club needs the money, and it'll loosen you up. Buy one for your favorite dancer too.
Have fun! Where else can you watch sports, listen to great music, have a strong drink, and have 10-50 hot women parading by all night?
*Bow*