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Miss_McKenna
07-08-2008, 03:38 PM
So ladies, I need your advice. I got a message from a guy I've mailed back and forth with a few times, saying that he wanted to give some financial incentive to show he was for real, and asking if I have a paypal account.
Can he trace me with my paypal account? I thought about setting up a second one just for the SD site, but I don't want him to be able to get all my bank account info or anything. Has anyone else done it this way?
Aubreyyy
07-08-2008, 06:19 PM
Dont do paypal...if he disputes it he'll get all his money back b/c you aren't allowed to use it for adult services.
Use Western Union!
lil_miss_kabuki
07-08-2008, 06:58 PM
Aubreyy... why don't you mention the yahoo group in the first post?
Miss_McKenna
07-08-2008, 09:43 PM
Aubrey, how does WU work? I'm looking on the site right now and there's so many different options!
Can the guy dispute the money on Paypal if I've already withdrawn it? I would have thought that claiming it was for adult services would get him in trouble too :-\
Aubreyyy
07-08-2008, 10:08 PM
The thing about paypal is you can have a certain amount of money put in if you don't have a bank account or anything, but you can't withdraw hardly anything as cash unless your account has been verified with an account. If he were to dispute it, they would automatically draw it back out of the account.
Miss_McKenna
07-08-2008, 10:16 PM
As far as I know, the paypal account I have right now for Amazon etc is verified with my account, because when I have money in my paypal account I can transfer the funds to my bank account. If I used this type would that be ok, or would he be able to access my bank details that way? Thanks girl!
Aubreyyy
07-08-2008, 10:21 PM
...don't use Paypal! Don't use anything with your bank details, b/c if anything ever happens between the two of you, or he changes his mind, he can get a complete refund!
krystel_gotti
07-16-2008, 04:22 PM
Your questions answered!
I use sugardaddyforme.com and seekingarrangement.com. There are other websites to use as well depending on where in the world you live.
As far as living with people, I live with my boyfriend (err, now ex). As far as my SDs have been concerned, they are roommates.
Asking for money? After trading pics and the usual convo starting garbage, I say "Tell me what you're looking for, as far as your expectations and budget. I just want to make sure ours are compatible :wink:". They normally appreciate this b/c they don't want to waste time on a girl that wants 10k a month when they're only offering free dinners. If they freak out over this...move on. They aren't serious about paying you. If they ask you what you're thinking- DONT LOWBALL! Say "Oh, I was thinking maybe 3-5 a month? Of course, this is completely nego. to the perfect situation". Stress that you like to get the money talk out of the way before you meet, so the face time is all about having fun, not doing business. Also call it a "necessary evil", like it isn't your driving force (even when it totally is)
lol okay I know that this post was a long time ago but I am hoping that someone can help me with this one... I am new to the sug4me site and I have used what you said about talking about the money thing up front... I have done that but now I have an older guy that wants to hang out 4 times a month give me 4,000 cash money and shopping but wants to do the nasty :( yeah there is a catch of course! how can I get this guy to give me some money without giving him any goods? please help I need the cash! lol
kikiwiki
07-19-2008, 03:17 AM
Just wanted to giveyou guys a heads up about a new site. I still have my free sd4me account active and recieved an email from a guy saying to try his new site elitemeeting.com. He was on the Bravo millionaire reality show and decided to start his own site from his own experience. I created my account and recieved very few emails. It might be because it's new or just plain old guys aren't interested in me. But anyways, I just wanted to share this with you all in hopes you try it and have better results. Supposedly they screen these guys to show you that they are true millionaires. I am actually meeting with the owner of the site tomorrow to discuss my experience and provide any more feedback as to how he can improve the site to our advantage. I told him I am part of a forum where we discuss these types of sites so your feedback will be relayed to him. Don't worry, I will not give him the name of this forum. I will post the details of my meeting with him here.
UPDATE: There was no meet. Long story short, I had a small girls night out with a few members from here before the meet. They suggest he come meet us. I told him and he began to toy with me. Then when I mentioned details about him to the girls, one of them knew of him! It turns out he trolls all the sugar daddy sites like SD, SD4me, wealthy men, etc. So we all began to toy with him to get him to come meet us. He even texted the girl that was with us! He wasn't having it. I feel like an idiot for initially planning to meet him where he was. He should have come to me, to US! LOL Oh well, we had a blast anyway. Try his site if you want but you've been warned about this guy here. His name is Tai.
Electrum
07-21-2008, 09:23 AM
I've had no luck with the free sugardaddy sites. Well, I was stupid and didn't follow up with the gold members who initially contacted me. I think gold members can only talk to you for a short time before you have to pay? No way in hell am I giving those sites any of my money lol. So the search for a sugardaddy begins in the club for me. I've met a couple of potential guys but I'm just not sure of what my price should be. I don't want to go too high but I certainly don't wanna go too low. I met a girl who was meeting her SD after work and she said one night with him she makes 500 dollars. I don't know if it's because I have low self esteem but I'd feel akward asking an old guy for that much money when they probably don't even last more than 2 minutes LOL. *shrugs* For those who do do the deed with their SD's is 500 a pop sound about right? It sounds a lot more appealling than dancing my ass off for 7 hours straight and only coming home with 100-200. Give me 10 minutes with a guy who can barely get it up anyway, take away 500 dollars and that sounds awesome to me LOL. *shrugs* I have to figure... 2 or 3 nights a month that's an extra 1500 or so a month from an SD... that sounds about right?
What do you girls do about security? The dancer I was talking to mentioned she meets her SD in a hotel and instantly I flashed back to CSI episodes where hookers are slaughtered in hotel rooms lol. Do you all carry mace? Have a bouncer? What do you do?
Aubreyyy
07-21-2008, 10:07 AM
^^^
I had a sexual relationship with my SD (well, he was honestly just more like a bf that paid me) but I made a HELL of a lot more than that.
If you're fucking, $500 a date should be the STARTING POINT. I'd ask 2x what a hooker would get in your area. They're looking for an SB b/c they dont want a pro...and they're gonna have to pay for that!
Electrum
07-21-2008, 10:19 AM
^^ Thanks for the advice. I'm not really sure what hookers get in my area lol. Probably not much! I've heard rumors (just rumors mind you) that the extra girls at my club only give it away for 100-300 dollars, that is if they even charge extra for it... so I'm not sure if that qualifies as hooking. I get confused about all of the subtle differences between extras, prostitutes, and sugar babies. I'm not sure if it really matters, it's probably just the difference in price?
Aubreyyy
07-21-2008, 10:47 AM
For me, the biggest thing is that hookers really don't care who they're fucking...they deal in quantity. Call girls deal in quality. A sexual SB only has sex with one person for money.
Electrum
07-26-2008, 04:31 PM
^^ That makes sense! I'm glad you weren't offended by my confusion. Lines start to blur sometimes.. I found one fellow who I would love to have as a sugar daddy but once he came to see me at the club I just felt so nervous I never asked him about it. It's funny, I hardly ever get nervous around men so I must really like him lol. I'll see him again I'm sure and I'm going to somehow ask him about an arrangement. He even told me he's not interested in sex, just good times. So that's a definite plus!
Dancing Girl
07-27-2008, 06:47 AM
So, I signed up for one of the free sites, and I don't want to put myself in a dangerous situation, and of course I'm nervous. I put on my profile "I am a very attentive and caring companion, as long as it is understood that our time together is respectful and non-sexual." Do you think that's clear enough that I'm not going to hook up with the guy? Of course I've gotten some responses from the guys saying that I'm stupid for thinking I can have something without sex, but screw them.
Why I'm writing is that one guy wrote me, and I don't know how to check up on him, or if it's stupid to let him fly me to where he is. This is what he wrote:
"I'm a Dallas attorney and would like to be your sugar daddy. Obviously, there would have to be mutual attraction and chemistry. Perhaps I could bring you to Dallas to meet and discuss in order for you to decide, covering travel, hotel, allowance etc. I'm looking for an ongoing routine with one person, meeting up as schedules allow.
I'm 6' 0", 190lbs, brown hair, hazel eyes, caucasian, attractive, educated, full head of hair and all my teeth;o)
If you would consider, provided everything meets your approval, write me at (his email address)"
Should I be worried that he's an attorney? Should I let him fly me out there, or should I put him off for a while and try to just email? Any advice, please, I would REALLY appreciate. I feel like I'm trying to learn how to swim, and I've never been in the water before... Thank You :-D
abadvi
07-27-2008, 09:41 AM
So, I signed up for one of the free sites, and I don't want to put myself in a dangerous situation, and of course I'm nervous. I put on my profile "I am a very attentive and caring companion, as long as it is understood that our time together is respectful and non-sexual." Do you think that's clear enough that I'm not going to hook up with the guy? Of course I've gotten some responses from the guys saying that I'm stupid for thinking I can have something without sex, but screw them.
Why I'm writing is that one guy wrote me, and I don't know how to check up on him, or if it's stupid to let him fly me to where he is. This is what he wrote:
"I'm a Dallas attorney and would like to be your sugar daddy. Obviously, there would have to be mutual attraction and chemistry. Perhaps I could bring you to Dallas to meet and discuss in order for you to decide, covering travel, hotel, allowance etc. I'm looking for an ongoing routine with one person, meeting up as schedules allow.
I'm 6' 0", 190lbs, brown hair, hazel eyes, caucasian, attractive, educated, full head of hair and all my teeth;o)
If you would consider, provided everything meets your approval, write me at (his email address)"
Should I be worried that he's an attorney? Should I let him fly me out there, or should I put him off for a while and try to just email? Any advice, please, I would REALLY appreciate. I feel like I'm trying to learn how to swim, and I've never been in the water before... Thank You :-D
There is some stay-safe trick about calling a guy like this at work and making sure to speak with a receptionist and then the guy, to kind of verify his legitimacy and real name. I can't remember the details about it but maybe someone on here knows what I am talking about?
Also, I would feel a little sketched out having him book the hotel--I would ask for money to book my own, so he can't get a room key. Also make sure you have money to fly back on your own in case something goes bad and he flakes out on the return trip.
It almost seems to good to be true and I think he is going to expect sexual things, but you never know, so keep talking to him for now!
charlie61
07-28-2008, 11:15 PM
Why I'm writing is that one guy wrote me, and I don't know how to check up on him, or if it's stupid to let him fly me to where he is. This is what he wrote:
"I'm a Dallas attorney and would like to be your sugar daddy. Obviously, there would have to be mutual attraction and chemistry. Perhaps I could bring you to Dallas to meet and discuss in order for you to decide, covering travel, hotel, allowance etc. I'm looking for an ongoing routine with one person, meeting up as schedules allow.
I'm 6' 0", 190lbs, brown hair, hazel eyes, caucasian, attractive, educated, full head of hair and all my teeth;o)
If you would consider, provided everything meets your approval, write me at (his email address)"
Should I be worried that he's an attorney? Should I let him fly me out there, or should I put him off for a while and try to just email? Any advice, please, I would REALLY appreciate. I feel like I'm trying to learn how to swim, and I've never been in the water before... Thank You :-D
This sounds to me like he's definitely looking for a sexual relationship. He's asking you to fly out there to meet him before you definitively "decide." This screams "we only fuck after we establish mutual attraction" to me. If you're fine with this, then this is what you can expect. But it sounds like you're genuinely looking for a 100% NO-SEX SD relationship, and he's looking for a "but once you see that I'm good-looking and generous, you'll give in to me" relationship.
This will set you up for a very difficult situation. Despite whether or not you take safety precautions, it will definitely put you in a "do it or don't get any $$" situation. These kinds of relationships are VERY difficult to navigate and maintain, because he IS looking for a sexual connection that you AREN'T willing to provide. Unless you send back "Just want to make sure you definitely aren't looking for any kind of sexual contact...ever" and he says "Yep, that's right! Never!" then you WILL end up having to deal with this (with this specific person).
Luxurious1
08-15-2008, 08:13 PM
can someone tell me how to delete my SD4M profile please? I cant figure it out..i've tried everything!
katie941
08-16-2008, 02:17 AM
kiki that guy tai messaged me too and i saw him on that show so i check it out a bit. it seemed like all hype to me so i never joined. glad to hear hes a flake.
txchick008
08-16-2008, 12:40 PM
For those who do do the deed with their SD's is 500 a pop sound about right?
I would say more like $1500. Living expenses are also something he should offer to cover IMO (rent/bills).
Aubreyyy
08-16-2008, 12:51 PM
If you're fucking, I'd expect at least $1k per every visit. that can be cumulative at the end of the month, or in an envelope every date.
Most guys aren't going to cover every little living expense... they'd rather just give you the cash.
blancaloca
08-16-2008, 01:15 PM
Also, I would feel a little sketched out having him book the hotel--I would ask for money to book my own, so he can't get a room key.
This is good, but don't meet him in your room ever, be sure to meet him in his since it will be in his name, verified with a credit card so that there's a paper trail, just in case he's a sketchy bad guy and tries anything...
Dixie_Vancouver
08-16-2008, 01:33 PM
I'm meeting up for my first SD meeting next week...the guy is one of the verified diamond club whatevers from Seeking Arrangement, so I'm not as worried about the 'is-he-wasting-me-time'. I'm really nervous! I don't know what to wear, or do, or any of that. :S I would've thought I'd be more self-assured in this situation, but I don't want to mess it up or anything and cost myself a good sugardaddy.
charlie61
08-16-2008, 08:38 PM
^ I wouldn't worry too much about this. It's easy to forget who you're actually dealing with--he's just a person! Yes, he has money. But he's an older (probably not very good-looking) person. Just look good (look like how you look in whatever photos you've handed over). I doubt he'll see any imperfections you notice in yourself. You're a hot SB (presumably). Men don't usually see in detail. They see "hot" or "not."
Luxurious1
08-17-2008, 01:44 AM
anyone?
SassyPants
08-18-2008, 09:31 PM
yeah, get this ball rolling again. I'm thirsty for knowledge.
I would like to know what girls charge for dates. I'm figuring if I can make $300/hr in a CR then I should be able to charge that or more an hour with a SD, right?
charlie61
08-18-2008, 09:47 PM
^^^ Please, please, please read the rest of this thread before you demand knowledge like that.
I'll repeat what I said clearly earlier: SD work is VERY different from strip club work. SD's don't see their SB relationships as being $$=time. They are deluded, and 99% of the time see it as them just helping you out in return for your company. 99% of the time, if you demand $$ for time, you will end up with guys who want very physical relationships.
VeraLynn
08-18-2008, 09:49 PM
I tried to email one of the sites to cancel, didn't happen. Have tried calling twice, left a msg each time with phone number, my name, and my user name... no call back. Grrrr...
Dixie_Vancouver
08-18-2008, 09:52 PM
^ I wouldn't worry too much about this. It's easy to forget who you're actually dealing with--he's just a person! Yes, he has money. But he's an older (probably not very good-looking) person. Just look good (look like how you look in whatever photos you've handed over). I doubt he'll see any imperfections you notice in yourself. You're a hot SB (presumably). Men don't usually see in detail. They see "hot" or "not."
Thank you! :D
I'm just nervous I think. But that pep talk helped, hehe. I'm just going to try and look like the hottest version of myself and be relaxed!
SassyPants
08-18-2008, 10:04 PM
I wasn't trying to be demanding, Charlie. Sorry if I came across that way, I was being sassy :-P I've read and reread this thread but I guess I didn't pick up what you were throwing down. My apologies.
Aubreyyy
08-18-2008, 10:46 PM
^^^ Please, please, please read the rest of this thread before you demand knowledge like that.
I'll repeat what I said clearly earlier: SD work is VERY different from strip club work. SD's don't see their SB relationships as being $$=time. They are deluded, and 99% of the time see it as them just helping you out in return for your company. 99% of the time, if you demand $$ for time, you will end up with guys who want very physical relationships.
Just what I was going to say.
The biggest mistake girls new to this make is demanding money (its a stripper mentality). Keep in mind that most of these guys don't want pros- that includes us!
If you aren't sleeping with someone, and not getting naked, $100 an hour is GENEROUS.
SassyPants
08-19-2008, 12:24 AM
thank you ladies for clarifying. I just started dancing too, so I'm real gun-ho about getting my "stripper mentality" in check. Perhaps I'm just not ready to do it. Again, I'm sorry about my attitude earlier. I've been frustrated with a potential SD and wanted instant gratification. I'm offically put in my place and I thank you :)
charlie61
08-19-2008, 11:33 AM
^^ Don't worry about it. :)
charlie61
08-19-2008, 11:35 AM
I tried to email one of the sites to cancel, didn't happen. Have tried calling twice, left a msg each time with phone number, my name, and my user name... no call back. Grrrr...
I don't remember having any problems cancelling. I think I just edited something in my account details. Try searching for "cancel account" on their website?
she sells sanctuary
08-19-2008, 04:11 PM
I tried to email one of the sites to cancel, didn't happen. Have tried calling twice, left a msg each time with phone number, my name, and my user name... no call back. Grrrr...
if they won't let you cancel, can't you just change your profile so it says "not currently available. will not reply." or something like that.
katie941
08-19-2008, 08:48 PM
Aubreyy hey you said to use western union when getting paid before hand but dont they need your address and full real name? how do you get around this?!
asap help please the guy wants to send money right now.
Aubreyyy
08-19-2008, 09:45 PM
^^^
Use AlertPay. Totally exactly like Paypal, and allowed for Adult transactions. Create an account, and they'll mail a check to you. Use whatever rando email you want.
katie941
08-19-2008, 10:12 PM
thanks girl youre the best!
Luxurious1
08-20-2008, 12:53 AM
I have called a million times and emailed 16 times. no response for me either! god why dont they just put the delete account option. SO ANNOYING!!!
Bella_xo_xo
08-20-2008, 07:17 AM
If I am going to have a man wire me money will I have to give up my full name and bank account info?
It seems to me the way to go is out of town meet ups, a man who will pay to put my friend and I in Vegas for the weekend and then meet up for a day....nice!
charlie61
08-20-2008, 01:23 PM
^
Yeah, you have to give him your bank routing number (which appears at the bottom of your checks). I'm not sure if he has to have your full name or not though.
Aubreyyy
08-21-2008, 02:54 PM
To wire money you have to give them a routing number, an account number, all of your info.
Its the worst possible way to get money from a guy if you want to keep it anonymous.
charlie61
08-21-2008, 04:00 PM
^^
Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I only HAD to give my routing number. At the very most, you may have to give your account number, too.
I don't think you don't have to hand over any other information though. I just did this with the guy who gave me $1500, and I don't remember having to give him anything but my routing number.
Dottie Rebel
08-22-2008, 02:13 AM
^^^ Please, please, please read the rest of this thread before you demand knowledge like that.
She didn't demand jack shit. She asked a question in a tread were we're supposed to be helping each other. It's not enough that newbies are constantly getting harangued by the "Old Guard", now it's hardcore newbie on newbie action?
Chill out, Chuck.
And yes, an account number and full name should be required for a wire transfer. The routing number only identifies the bank. And most banks are going to want a full name for verification. "Cindy at Chase Bank" is not sufficient.
txchick008
08-22-2008, 05:21 AM
If I am going to have a man wire me money will I have to give up my full name and bank account info?
It seems to me the way to go is out of town meet ups, a man who will pay to put my friend and I in Vegas for the weekend and then meet up for a day....nice!
Yes.
Bank transfers will require more than the routing number. Like Dottie said, that only identifies which bank it is. You will need to give him your full account number, account TYPE, as well as first and last name. If you are still in doubt, call any bank and they will verify that. (Even a quick search on Google will confirm this as well).
charlie61
08-22-2008, 12:40 PM
She didn't demand jack shit. She asked a question in a tread were we're supposed to be helping each other. It's not enough that newbies are constantly getting harangued by the "Old Guard", now it's hardcore newbie on newbie action?
Chill out, Chuck.
And yes, an account number and full name should be required for a wire transfer. The routing number only identifies the bank. And most banks are going to want a full name for verification. "Cindy at Chase Bank" is not sufficient.
Woah...I didn't mean for that to come across as bitchy. It's just there had been a pretty lengthy discussion about her question earlier in the thread, and I thought it odd that she hadn't picked up on it.
Chuck is chill.
Aubreyyy
08-23-2008, 02:25 PM
^^
Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I only HAD to give my routing number. At the very most, you may have to give your account number, too.
I don't think you don't have to hand over any other information though. I just did this with the guy who gave me $1500, and I don't remember having to give him anything but my routing number.
The routing number only verifies the bank... and even then, not the single bank. For instance, BofA has a different routing # in each state, but that # covers all of the banks in the state.
I'm not sure why someone would think you DIDN'T have to give them your info... I still stand by my opinion that a wire or a transfer is the WORST possible way to get money from a SD.
AlertPay, Amazon.com e-gift cards, or Western Union (which I think they still need your full name for).
asianpixie
08-31-2008, 08:03 AM
Hey Aubrey, could you repost your original two installments that were edited out? I never got a chance to read them. :(
msincredible01
08-31-2008, 02:33 PM
What about Western Union-ing it?
Careful ladies...I've been on a site for a mere 2 weeks and I've gotten more "HOW MUCH" than "hello's"....some (and by some i mean most) clearly state in their profiles that they are looking for sexual ineraction for money. There was an old man who went from sweet "i-just-want-friendship-and-company" to "i want a long term sex slave." overnight!! ugh. Went on a full page describing exactly what he wants and will do to me...i still cringe at the thought.
lexi2008
09-19-2008, 12:04 AM
I have had a very bad experience with my very first try at having a SD and would NOT recommend it under any circumstances! Steer clear and stick with dancing!