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StevieStar7
03-10-2009, 11:31 AM
Ok so me & this pot SD have had a few emails between us & now he wants to meet up!
After taking the advice off this thread, I asked him what his are expectations and budget !
This is what he said-
"well if we click on many levels i would put you on 3k to 5k a month allowance and make you my lover."
well, i'm not interested in being he's "lover"...how should i handle this?
thanks =)

vivianbear
03-10-2009, 11:57 AM
^^

If you aren't interested in sex, DON'T SEE HIM. He's probably going to run it like a pay-for-play situation and until you put out, he's just going to dangle a carrot on a stick. He's told you, inevitably that's what he wants. Honestly, $3K-$5K isn't even that much to "be his lover" (ew). That's only $1250 a week (barely stripper money).

patchouli
03-10-2009, 01:11 PM
Everyone values their sexual expression at different levels... some people may find $3-5k either plenty or not enough to be involved in a sexual relationship with an SD. Why so quick to judge?

patchouli
03-10-2009, 01:12 PM
Ok so me & this pot SD have had a few emails between us & now he wants to meet up!
After taking the advice off this thread, I asked him what his are expectations and budget !
This is what he said-
"well if we click on many levels i would put you on 3k to 5k a month allowance and make you my lover."
well, i'm not interested in being he's "lover"...how should i handle this?
thanks =)

If you're not interested in that type of relationship, be up front and say you have no intention of having one and consider that maybe you two just aren't a good match at this time.

charlie61
03-10-2009, 03:18 PM
Ok so me & this pot SD have had a few emails between us & now he wants to meet up!
After taking the advice off this thread, I asked him what his are expectations and budget !
This is what he said-
"well if we click on many levels i would put you on 3k to 5k a month allowance and make you my lover."
well, i'm not interested in being he's "lover"...how should i handle this?
thanks =)

I'm actually not concerned about his interests in his being your lover, per se. What concerns me about what he says is the bluntness of this exchange. Most non-sexual SD relationships walk the fine line (similar to the SC customer/stripper relationship) between having a superficially sexual relationship (flirting, you looking hot on his harm) and him wanting something more. There is a hustle here. You do NOT want to be with this specific SD, but only because he so explicitly refers to your sexual involvement so early in the relationship. He clearly would not be willing to wait for you to become comfortable.

Just like SC regulars, SD's almost always have expiration dates. You need to find someone who understands that the establishment of a sexual relationship (despite whether or not you actually intend on having one) takes time. By buying yourself time, you're buying yourself fancy dinners, dates to go lingerie shopping, etc.

If my treatment of this subject seems cruel, then I'd disagree. Like I said, it's similar to how we strippers lead men on at the club. As long as you don't outright lie --"Yes, I will have sex with you at some point"--I see nothing wrong with skipping around the subject--"I don't know...let's focus on getting to know each other first, and the sexual part might develop naturally from that." See the difference?

Crow2
03-23-2009, 03:35 AM
These days .. a man looking for a SD relationship will at some point always want sex. Unless there is some physical reason the man can not preform. Sorry to be so blunt, just trying to explain..

Use to be one could get away with not doing the nasty and everything was peachy. Now.. well, it's a different ball game. Better to be up front and TELL people, this is what I want and so on. That vague gray area is a dangerous place to be. Trying to so called "hustle" some guy is just bad and could get you in a sticky situation. These men are looking for something specific and if they are worth the trouble, can afford to have it.

Having a Sugar Daddy is NOT anything like working in a strip club.

I would seriously advise you to trust your instincts here, usually that little voice that whispers in your ear is worth listening to. :) Also don't settle. Some of my best friends have evolved from a SD arrangement.

charlie61
03-23-2009, 07:47 AM
These days .. a man looking for a SD relationship will at some point always want sex. Unless there is some physical reason the man can not preform. Sorry to be so blunt, just trying to explain..

Use to be one could get away with not doing the nasty and everything was peachy. Now.. well, it's a different ball game. Better to be up front and TELL people, this is what I want and so on. That vague gray area is a dangerous place to be. Trying to so called "hustle" some guy is just bad and could get you in a sticky situation. These men are looking for something specific and if they are worth the trouble, can afford to have it.

Having a Sugar Daddy is NOT anything like working in a strip club.

I would seriously advise you to trust your instincts here, usually that little voice that whispers in your ear is worth listening to. :) Also don't settle. Some of my best friends have evolved from a SD arrangement.

That's the route I went--I told all of my SD's up front that there would be absolutely NO sex....I tried to eliminate the grey area. Nevertheless, it became clear that they wanted some kind of contact. All of my SD's had expiration dates.

To me, having SD's was very similar to working in a strip club. Probably because I was constantly walking the line between giving them something (my presence, my company) and withholding something (sexual contact). So the whole time, it felt like a hustle. That's just one way of viewing it though.

Obviously, it isn't the same as working in a SC. SD's are constant--you can't just leave them when you go home for the night. E-mails, texting, phone calls, etc....

And like Crow said, go with your instincts. Stay in neutral situations until you're comfortable enough to be with your SD alone. Take care of yourself.

vivianbear
03-23-2009, 09:19 AM
Everyone values their sexual expression at different levels... some people may find $3-5k either plenty or not enough to be involved in a sexual relationship with an SD. Why so quick to judge?


If a woman goes to work in a club and makes about $250 a shift, five days a week, she'd be making just as much NOT tricking with a SD as one taking this guy's $5K a month! Its about raising the bar! You're right, everyone has a price and some are higher than others but really, let's try to keep it high!

All I'm saying is do the math. If you ARE going to sleep with your SD, don't let him get away on the cheap. Look in your local area at the prices of escorts. Find the average and base what this guy is offering you off of that. Really, these guys are still out to find the cheapest pussy they can. Don't let him call the shots and don't let him set the terms. Most "SDs" these days are just hobbyists looking for something outside the typical hooker/john dynamic.

charlie61
03-23-2009, 11:07 AM
^^ Exactly. If you slap a different name on the package, (I'd imagine) they'll pay a lot more for it. I had an SD offer me a Ferrari for my virginity. Like, we were standing in the dealership in Vegas. (I turned him down.) Don't undersell yourself if you're going to do it!

babybigbucks
03-31-2009, 05:41 PM
hey im wondering how much$$ to expect per date w/o sex being involved and the date lasting 1 -3 hrs? thanks laadiees

charlie61
04-01-2009, 08:08 AM
Go back through this thread. We have some pretty in-depth discussions on the whole "$ per date" subject.

Crow2
04-01-2009, 09:37 AM
hey im wondering how much$$ to expect per date w/o sex being involved and the date lasting 1 -3 hrs? thanks laadiees


I hear the search function works wonderfully...

charlie61
04-01-2009, 11:05 AM
^ Yeah...I mean I know this is a long thread, but I think 99% of it is useful information. Definitely worth going back over. You made it to the right thread: now use it!

jgand
04-03-2009, 03:04 PM
Sugar Daddies are good if you can find one that isn't totally obsessed.

hayleyriversxx
04-07-2009, 06:05 AM
I met my old SD in a strip club back in '03. He'd take me for 1-2 hour VIPs every time and finally I "let" him take me out to dinner for a grand cash. After doing that several times, I trusted him enough to sleep with him, 3 grand for literally 10 minutes. Then I had him pay to take me on vacations--always to the 4 seasons or better--resorts I'd pick out of Town & Country travel. I'd ask for 5 grand a week, 10 grand for 2 weeks plus all expenses paid, wined and dined. I did get annoyed with his company after our 3rd holiday together, but overall not a bad way to earn 25k in very little time. Then he fell in love with me and deluded himself into thinking I loved him too, and that he wouldn't need to pay my fees anymore. Whatever!

StevieStar7
04-26-2009, 06:25 PM
Well, no luck in the SD department as of yet, I guess maybe I'm just to picky...LOL

M3wlove
06-03-2009, 10:50 PM
hmm considering joining seekingarrangement.com. this thread is extremely useful, but 2 things i didnt see that often:

1) has a potential s.d. refused you after seeing you in person? i know that looks arent 100% but they are obviously very important. i mean, the only site i really liked was seekingarrangement and most people looked superfit and boobaged.

2) ending things with an s.d. - how do you tell them youre not interested anymore? have you ever had issues ending it with a clingy/possesive s.d.?

Union Jackie
06-04-2009, 06:42 AM
hmm considering joining seekingarrangement.com. this thread is extremely useful, but 2 things i didnt see that often:

1) has a potential s.d. refused you after seeing you in person? i know that looks arent 100% but they are obviously very important. i mean, the only site i really liked was seekingarrangement and most people looked superfit and boobaged.

2) ending things with an s.d. - how do you tell them youre not interested anymore? have you ever had issues ending it with a clingy/possesive s.d.?

To answer you:

1) Just like anything in life, you're not obligated to hang around with someone if you don't want to!. A potential SD can refuse you in person, but if he's already seen your pic and agreed to meet you, the real reason for rejection might actually be because of a mismatch in mutual chemistry and personal expectations, NOT looks. But don't forget that if you don't feel the connection with him either, you are also not obligated to stick around. There are no hard or fast rules, but I think the most important ones are safety and enjoyment. (In fact, I did actually refuse a potential SD in person; he lied about his looks - I didn't care he was rich, his photo was 10 years old and the difference was so HUGE I didn't recognise him when he stepped forward to show me to the dinner table! Once you believe you can't trust someone, that's the end of it).

2) I've never had a clingy/possessive SD-type relationship. But you should have a second phone number (you can get them cheap as chips) or fake email to ward against these things. The minute the person starts giving you grief, cancel both and then they will no longer be a problem. Also, don't give them your real address either. However, I find that when you get sick of an SD, unless he's a major pain in the ass, never burn bridges. Just fall out of contact; then if either of you make a reappearance in the other's life at a later stage (even months down the line), it could still be beneficial and there'll be no real love lost (so to speak).


However, I've moved on from the SD sites. They often have their own terms wired in and people have expectations just from being on those sites that are difficult to shake. But as I've found, it's much easier to meet wealthy men just by going out and about in London than I initially thought - and it's much more fun! I think I just love the chase - I'm a huge flirt anyway and a party girl at heart ;)

shameless
06-05-2009, 08:06 AM
What site these days have you found more useful - sugardaddie.com or seekingarrangement.com...or maybe there's another site where you've struck gold? Thanks ladies x

BAMBY
06-06-2009, 08:08 PM
I have been on sd4me and i was tlalking to this guy since yesterday, already he calls me "lover". how do take control in this situation?

precise212
06-11-2009, 10:22 PM
SUGAR DAD'S CADS

By LEONARD GREENE

May 28, 2009 --

A couple who extorted a "sugar daddy" pleaded guilty yesterday to charges that they blackmailed the married Connecticut investment titan who trolled for sex on a Web site that caters to wealthy men.

The greedy husband and wife were busted this month after trying to take S D, a multimillionaire DuPont heir, for $100,000 by threatening to share chats, e-mails and photographs with his wife and employees, authorities said.

D was a regular on the site SeekingArrangement.com, where he met women and paid several up to $200,000 for sex and online companionship, according to police reports.

Among the women he encountered was D J, 28, an Ohio mother, who later threatened to expose their Internet chats unless he paid for her silence.

Dent wired $100,000 to J and her husband, Cr, to make the issue go away. But when the couple demanded another $50,000, Dent contacted the police, who set up a sting to catch them.

The J were arrested March 18 when they came to Greenwich to try to squeeze more money out of Dent. They were charged with larceny and extortion.

C Je, 30, was sentenced to 18 months in prison with three years probation.

D J, 28, received a suspended sentence and three years probation.

"They accepted responsibility," said D Je lawyer, Mickey Sherman. "It was one of those bad decisions that people make, bad judgment and downright stupidity."

According to court records, D had been blackmailed before by users of the site.

Nearly two years earlier, FBI agents helped Greenwich police trap a blackmailer who told D he was with the Russian mafia and demanded $40,000.

According to police records, D was also blackmailed for $9,000 by another woman.

Neither D nor his lawyer could be reached for comment.

Although D admitted he paid for sex with some of the women he met on the site, police declined to bring charges against him to avoid discouraging other blackmail victims from coming forward.

D, a great-grandson of onetime DuPont company chief Alfred I. du Pont, is estimated to be worth more than $100 million.

[email protected]
http://www.nypost.com/seven/05282009...ads_171338.htm

babybambi08
06-18-2009, 01:47 AM
ok i have had a few SD prospects, from the club.. I have a bf so I told him I would call him.. he doesnt know he is going to be an SD but I am reallyy weird. I feel weird about even going to dinner with another guy, even if its just for money... so I would defently want to get to know the SD go out for at least at least a month, before anything... so how would I go about this, go out with him for a while and if he is barable.. tell him ok I want an allowance if you wanna screw?? I am not doing anything less than 4k a month, if Im going to have to do that shit.

babybambi08
06-18-2009, 01:47 AM
for those with BF do you have a sep. phone you use? to call your sd??
Also, I want my SD to be in love with me! so he wont leave til I want him too lol..
also, if I happen to meet one I like, and I might want to sleep with them is there any kinda of cream or lube to make men cum faster??!! lol that would be cool

anacol
06-18-2009, 09:56 PM
I have been on sd4me and i was tlalking to this guy since yesterday, already he calls me "lover". how do take control in this situation?


In this situation, I would let him know that he's doesn't have the right to call you that because he haven't earned it. To him that will sound like ok so I won't be able to have sex with her and go. To him if he's calling you lover he's thinking that you are going straight for sex and that's it. If he wants to go out, let him know it will cost and whatever he wants you to do, he will have to take care of it. Say for instance he says he wants you to wear a pretty dress, tell him that he will have to get one because you don't have one. If he asks for pics or something, tell him to pay to have some taken. You have to run game on him, that way he's shocked and takes you for real otherwise, he'll just try to run over you and use you if you are soft and show no defense. Good luck.:)

Syrenity
06-28-2009, 08:12 PM
Ok so I made an account on seekingarrangements and got quite a few responses(most of which were not even worth the time it took me to read them, nevermind reply). There are however a cpl potentials. One of these I have been emailing with a bit and he has now asked me "Have some expectations? Are we just gonna wing it? "

Now Ive never been in any type of arrangement before so Im not really sure what to expect or how to answer this, without being too pushy, leaving too much up to him to decide or selling myself short.

Ive read this entire thread and there's soo much helpful advice here.. I just know one of you ladies will come through! :)

TravelandStrip
07-09-2009, 06:38 PM
I signed up to seekingarrangement.com and met up with a SD yesterday for lunch. He was really sweet and put me in a hotel for the next 5 nights because I just came into town and am running out of money. So far so good, not sure if he has any physical expectations though, I'll have to ask him next time we meet. If so, I'm not willing to continue the relationship.

babybambi08
07-28-2009, 12:54 AM
so how did you set up your arrangment? I am only intertested in an monthly allowance, and gifts.. I dont want a pay by visit..

I dont want to have to work, I want about 4k-6k a month. I mean I think that is reasonable deal, I would be avalible for them when ever they needed me.

But I dont know how to word that.. I guess I would start by asking what he wants, then saying ok I know what you want this is what I want. I want someone that will be able to mentor me, share their sucess stories with me. And I also want a monthly allowance and I wouldnt mind some gifts. I think that ___ would be able to suite my needs.


so???

TravelandStrip
07-28-2009, 01:39 AM
so how did you set up your arrangment? I am only intertested in an monthly allowance, and gifts.. I dont want a pay by visit..

I dont want to have to work, I want about 4k-6k a month. I mean I think that is reasonable deal, I would be avalible for them when ever they needed me.

But I dont know how to word that.. I guess I would start by asking what he wants, then saying ok I know what you want this is what I want. I want someone that will be able to mentor me, share their sucess stories with me. And I also want a monthly allowance and I wouldnt mind some gifts. I think that ___ would be able to suite my needs.


so???

There's a place on the Seeking Arrangement profile to put how much you want. For that amount though, you're most likely going to have to put out.

Every guy to date that's messaged me on the site has wanted sex.

babybambi08
07-28-2009, 01:42 AM
thanks. I am on sugardaddyforme they used to have the amount on there but not anymore.. this guy I am meeting thursday. I just need some help with what to say

laurcon
07-28-2009, 08:42 PM
i have to say i'm a fan of seekingarrangment.com. within one week i met a cute 31-yr-old, married man and started getting 4k a month to see him twice a week for a few hours. its been like 6 weeks now and its going great. to be honest though, i'm def sleeping with him. i waited a few weeks but the idea was that i probably would eventually after i got to know him, which i already knew was fine for me. i totally understand everyone is different and being willing to do that makes it a take a little less time to find a good situation. but he's actually great in bed and i look forward to it. i'm excited to eventually get more $$ though, i mentioned my birthday was in october and he said that would be an expensive month so i hope he knows what's coming. i just have to get him hooked like i've been doing for free for years }:D
but besides getting pretty lucky with him i've had a good amount of other seemingly good responses but i was focusing on securing this one first. so personally i would recommend this site, and also i paid for the premium membership because i think the $30 investment was worth it.

babybambi08
07-28-2009, 08:58 PM
good for you.. I dont like SA.com there is not a lot of paying customer (SDs) in the area.. I am not going to pay, if they have the money they will pay to talk to me.. but I am meeting someone thurSS!

laurcon
07-28-2009, 11:31 PM
yeah i live in a great area for SDs, right outside of NYC in jersey. so that helps. but also i prob wouldn't need a SD if i didn't spend so much living here!
good luck on thursday baby :)

babybambi08
07-29-2009, 12:04 AM
thanks! he seems really nice. I asked him if he minded meeting me half way bc my car is not in great shape and he offered to come all the way and meet me.. I thought that was nice. I will probably do the same this you did, wait til you know them before you sleep with them.. it would ruin it if I tried to fake it.. but ya I bet living in a big city is hard. I went to Houston for my big 21st!!! I went to the zoo, I took a taxi for the first time. I went to a nice restraunt, a few bars and the Dane Cook show and rode in one of those things the bike guys haul people around in, saw a jazz show at the house of blues. I was only gone 24 hours It felt like 3 days! I didnt want to leave it was sooo fun.. but we also spend umm about 400 dollars for hotel and everything except the tickets to the dane cook show. So all together about 700 dollars, best birthday by far!

wish
12-05-2009, 06:53 PM
I have a situation I need help with. I am on sugardaddyforme.com and am really p-noid that the police are on there looking for escorts. Which I am not. I was talking to 1 a while ago who wanted to meet me at a resturant but I got nervous and didn't go. Plus this guy was making like $40k a year, nothing he could really do for me. Now there's another guy who says he'll email me a pic but doesn't want his photo on the site. I dont know why becasue he's not married. He says he doesn't want a relationship just someone to go out with from time to time and is willing to provide me an allowance. He also falls in the $0-$100k catagory *sigh*. He wants to meet me at a bookstore. My thing is he never even asked me my name. I'm thinking he's a cop or looking for an escort. I don't want to be paranoid and pass up a good thing but I'm letting him go too. LMAO and anybody else who doesn't make over $100k.

*Jade*Love
12-05-2009, 07:14 PM
I have a situation I need help with. I am on sugardaddyforme.com and am really p-noid that the police are on there looking for escorts. Which I am not. I was talking to 1 a while ago who wanted to meet me at a resturant but I got nervous and didn't go. Plus this guy was making like $40k a year, nothing he could really do for me. Now there's another guy who says he'll email me a pic but doesn't want his photo on the site. I dont know why becasue he's not married. He says he doesn't want a relationship just someone to go out with from time to time and is willing to provide me an allowance. He also falls in the $0-$100k catagory *sigh*. He wants to meet me at a bookstore. My thing is he never even asked me my name. I'm thinking he's a cop or looking for an escort. I don't want to be paranoid and pass up a good thing but I'm letting him go too. LMAO and anybody else who doesn't make over $100k.

Yeah... I'm not looking for a sugar daddy myself, but if dude isn't making over $100k a year I highly doubt he's got any money to throw down on you, especially if he's married. Sounds like a lot of those guys are just looking for dates and hoping to get lucky without having to actually do anything. Lame

I'm glad you're being cautious about the cop thing though, a lot of girls prob wouldn't think about being busted for that.

anacol
12-11-2009, 09:36 PM
To all you ladies, I would be careful with those sites. I don't really think there's any guys on there that can make your dreams come true. I've heard those sites are full of a holes who are looking for a fling. Plus I don't think it would feel right to try and meet up with someone you've never seen in person and talked to. I just wouldn't trust it. I hope this helps. :)

charlie61
12-11-2009, 09:39 PM
The sites are okay as long as you're extremely selective. And it obviously doesn't come without risks and the occasional bum.

I did the whole SD thing sex free though. Helped weed a lot of people out.

KiwiStrawberry Splenda
12-12-2009, 07:23 PM
The best place to find a SD is NOT a sugardaddy site. Guys on there aren't stupid, its pretty easy to play into a girl's desperation. Way too many people burned on there, compared to a very few success stories.

charlie61
12-12-2009, 07:30 PM
I met many SD's successfulyl online.

KiwiStrawberry Splenda
12-12-2009, 07:34 PM
Online is good, but not necessarily a SD site. Didn't say that no one found success, but I seriously doubt that the 100 girls who signed up for a SD site found anything decent.

babybambi08
12-13-2009, 01:10 PM
My mom had been working hard core on tryn to find a good sd for almost a year and she finally did after knowing her for a month he bought her. A 15k car!! And he gives her 4k a month, they have seeeing each other for about four months now

wish
12-13-2009, 01:25 PM
My mom had been working hard core on tryn to find a good sd for almost a year and she finally did after knowing her for a month he bought her. A 15k car!! And he gives her 4k a month, they have seeeing each other for about four months now

Are you sure it's 15k and not 45k or 150k? My car cost that. But 4k a month is GREAT!

Athenathefabulous
12-13-2009, 02:56 PM
I am definitely going to do this after i move. It is on the top of my list of things to do when i get settled (after getting a job of course)!

I wish the original post was still up though. It sounds like it was super informative.

babybambi08
12-13-2009, 05:17 PM
[QUOTE=wish;1881576]Are you sure it's 15k and not 45k or 150k? My car cost that. But 4k a month is GREAT![/QUOTE

ya it's a toyato camery, 2008

AustinIndiana
12-13-2009, 07:16 PM
hi.......I am new to the SD sites/situations but am very excited. Do you have to be there for them at a drop of a hat?
I also don't want any SD's in my house or around my kid. I don't want it personal, if you know what I mean.....
What's the competion on this site like? (Other girls)

la petite sexy
12-13-2009, 07:44 PM
I need some help ladies! I can't figure out if this guy is just really nice or if he's looking for a SB.

So I met him like 2 years ago at my day job, we end up having this really great conversation and exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone a few times and he text me several times to wish me happy birthday, happy thanksgiving, how are you doing etc. I remember him asking me if I'd like to accompany him on a business trip (he works for the government and travels alot). I think I got nervous because of the danger involved and I think I remember seeing a ring when we met. I dunno. It was 2 yrs ago. I also wasn't dancing at the time and had prob just entertained the thought of a SD for the first time. Point is I stopped responding.

Fast forward 2yrs. So I'm thinking of trying the SD/SB thing. So I send him a random text about a week ago. He remembers me and responds. He called me a couple of days ago, asked if this is a bad time, I told him I wasn't feeling well, he says let me know if you need anything and asks what would be the best address if he wanted to send me something. So I get this big bouquet of yellow roses with a nice card. I called to thank him. We talked for a bit, he tells me about traveling for work and how he doesn't get to enjoy himself while he's away unless he takes someone with him and says to let him know when I'm ready to do some traveling. The more I type the more I'm thinking he's looking for something and has done this before. I dunno. I'm just green and

a) wouldn't want to offend him if I handle the situation one way if he's looking at it differently and
b) don't really know what the heck I'm doing anyway

What do yall think? Tips? Advice?

charlie61
12-13-2009, 08:16 PM
I think you should try to milk him without him realizing it's a SD/SB situation.

So start with smaller desires and see how far he's willing to go. Obviously this has to be done skillfully (as with club hustling). Definitely don't ask for straight up money--this can lead to him propositioning you. Let him into your 'personal life' a bit (via e-mail or however), mention you're doing well...working hard to keep up with rent (even if you're having no problems paying it). See if he seems willing to help you out with stuff like that.

But don't seem desperate. Unless he's the kind of guy who'd like that. ;)

wish
12-13-2009, 08:17 PM
I need some help ladies! I can't figure out if this guy is just really nice or if he's looking for a SB.

So I met him like 2 years ago at my day job, we end up having this really great conversation and exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone a few times and he text me several times to wish me happy birthday, happy thanksgiving, how are you doing etc. I remember him asking me if I'd like to accompany him on a business trip (he works for the government and travels alot). I think I got nervous because of the danger involved and I think I remember seeing a ring when we met. I dunno. It was 2 yrs ago. I also wasn't dancing at the time and had prob just entertained the thought of a SD for the first time. Point is I stopped responding.

Fast forward 2yrs. So I'm thinking of trying the SD/SB thing. So I send him a random text about a week ago. He remembers me and responds. He called me a couple of days ago, asked if this is a bad time, I told him I wasn't feeling well, he says let me know if you need anything and asks what would be the best address if he wanted to send me something. So I get this big bouquet of yellow roses with a nice card. I called to thank him. We talked for a bit, he tells me about traveling for work and how he doesn't get to enjoy himself while he's away unless he takes someone with him and says to let him know when I'm ready to do some traveling. The more I type the more I'm thinking he's looking for something and has done this before. I dunno. I'm just green and

a) wouldn't want to offend him if I handle the situation one way if he's looking at it differently and
b) don't really know what the heck I'm doing anyway

What do yall think? Tips? Advice?

He's looking to have sex with you soon. Roses and a trip his job is paying for is not good enough for you to have sex with him if you didn't want to do it before.

laurcon
12-13-2009, 08:55 PM
He's looking to have sex with you soon. Roses and a trip his job is paying for is not good enough for you to have sex with him if you didn't want to do it before.

i don't really see that in her post at all. i mean he's a guy so i'm sure he'd like to have sex, but if he didn't mention anything about it i wouldn't automatically assume that's all he's after. i would tell him you're considering traveling with him but would like to have dinner first at least to get to know him better. then tell him you'll need compensation for your time and effort, and missing work. just make sure to take safety precautions and get your plane tickets ahead of time, and have enough to money to take care of yourself if something crazy happens.

InTheSpirit
12-13-2009, 09:31 PM
Hi!

So, I've been exploring this SB/SD world for a few months, off and on. Like many ladies mentioned, the guys tend to have an expiration date so only one has really last for awhile (4/5 months or so).

I am meeting up up with a new potential SD this week for the second time. Our initial meeting took place at a nice tapas bar/lounge and we spent a good hour and fifteen minutes chatting, getting to know each other, establishing why we are on the site in the first place, etc. We did not, however, discuss money; that said, his profile says he is willing to spend 3-5k/monthly. I wanted our first "date" to be comfortable and feel natural so I was willing to chat for free this one time.

We are meeting for drinks/dinner again this week and I am going to bring it up. Ideally, I would like to say something like this: "Since we've already discussed why we're both here and my reason is financially-driven, I would prefer it if you could give me a monthly sum at the beginning of the month, each month, so that we never have to discuss money and we can keep the natural flow of conversation and fun going. That way, it's taken care of and neither of us has to address anything. How do you feel about that?"

I think he'll be OK with it. My only concern is that he may feel uneasy about doing it the first month because, well, he doesn't know me and I could disappear and take off with his money. Perhaps I could suggest that, for the first month, he give me half at the beginning of the month and half on the fifteenth?

While this is business for me (and he's smart enough to know that), I do feel that discussing money each and every time we see each other takes away from the experience for him. Call me a perfectionist but I want to be a good SB and make this experience a good one for him!

What do you all think? Is my approach OK? Would you change anything about the way I am approaching this?

Thank you in advance for your comments and suggestions! :)