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View Full Version : I feel guilty and horrible about myself



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Sophia_Starina
04-14-2008, 11:25 AM
This is pretty much how you have to dance in NYC.

Not true at all. It may be how you have to dance but not all NYC chicks have to get down and dirty to make bank. Seriously.

Lola Rose
04-14-2008, 11:39 AM
I think maybe you need to re-evaluate if dancing is actually working for YOU.

Sophia_Starina
04-14-2008, 11:46 AM
Optimist is right on with her advice. I think a lot of dancers forget the whole part about seduction and get caught up in bending to the whims and desires of custies that push the boundaries.

We as dancers should be in control. We are at work to make money on our own terms. I think the OP should reevaluate the situation and gain the strength to deny any requests that she is even mildly uncomfortable with. Don't allow customers to walk all over you... your self esteem and sanity have NO price... No price.

iambonbon05
04-14-2008, 01:01 PM
Good for you for posting this. I had a similar incident but was too scared to post about it. I also have a hard time with being firm but it's gotten better.

I really recommend trying a new club. New environment, new slate.

Sarah Andi
04-14-2008, 01:42 PM
You're not a horrible person, as many have said. You're not even a bad person.

You were victimized in the past, and you have already made the connection between that and your current problem. Admitting you were abused is the first step to healing. It's strange to say that you must "admit" to something as though you're somehow guilty; I guess a better way to say it is you have to allow the truth of your past be seen.

Next, you need to find a good, trusted confidante and then a therapist. It takes years to work through the pain of the healing process, and a professional, while expensive, is worth it. Many cities have networks to help survivors and victims of violence. Look into it. Call the local hotlines and shelters and see if they can help you.

Taking a break from dancing may be a smart move while you work through your pain. You're not the only victim or survivor of assault or abuse working in this industry. I was abused for most of my life. Memories are still surfacing seven years after I left home and the situation, but after years of healing work, I feel whole and happy for probably the first time in my life. I was lucky to have been able to work through my own situation before I started dancing. You are lucky that you have a community of beautiful-souled women here to help you. PM me if you would like to talk privately, and godspeed on your trip to wholeness.

Namaste, sweetie.