View Full Version : How can i be a worse customer?
twisterinAZ
05-04-2008, 05:35 AM
If possible, have some curry or masala before you come in.Talk a lot about nothing and expect me to seem interested.Ask me for change while I'm dancing on stage. But be all serious about it and then be rude when I just keep your $5. Also point out that I've gained weight if you've ssen me before. Sniff me while I'm dancing in a really creepy way and if you get multiple dances, pretend you don't have enough money to cover it . We all secretly love dancing for you for free. Be sure to have very cold , clammy or sweaty palms and then rub them all over me while I smack your hands away . Ignore my prayers for the song to be over.
AkashaM
05-04-2008, 10:22 AM
List of things to do on next trip
1) Wear sweat pants or basketball shorts.
2) Don't bother to shower, just use lots of cologne.
3) Make sure to insert memory card into cell phone so I can take lots of pictures & VIDEO!.
4) Toothbrush, mouth wash, eh who needs that crap.
5) Be cheap and rude. Don't bother tipping stage...its a free show!
6) Pull strippers' hair- HARD! I know they secretly love it!
7) Grope! If its in reach, its in fair play!
8) Pick a dancer and follow her around all night.
9) Lick, bite, or slap; or better yet all three.
10) Give those stripper nipples a proper "tuning".
I think you're ready to hit the club, dude!
Dont forget to ask every stripper you meet to buy you a round of drinks!
Otoki
09-30-2008, 12:42 AM
Be sure to tell me how you 'LOVE' eating vagina and how you could stay down there all night eating my vagina. Tell me how good you are at eating vagina and how nobody could possibly eat vagina better than you. This will turn me on, as I've never had my vagina eaten, and most guys HATE eating vagina. BONUS if you can brag on your cock size as well.
Make sure to describe what you would do IN DETAIL while moving your fingers on my arm to demonstrate. Extra bonus if you're over 60.
Otoki
09-30-2008, 12:46 AM
Make sure you go to the ATM, and then come back and tell me "it didn't work out" and try to pay me next time. This is especially awesome if the managers all know that you took out money, and that you are trying to get away with not paying me. Trust me, I love spending half and hour dealing with a customer trying to stiff me. It's especially awesome at the end of the night, when I'm suddenly in demand!
Try to act tough in front of your friends, and smack my ass. Laugh and try to high-five your friends, and turn into a cowering piss-ant when I deck you, walk away, and come back with one of the wonderful floor managers. Oh, try to not pay me if you smack my ass, otherwise I won't feel appreciated.
grindonme
09-30-2008, 11:58 AM
damnn i think i've seen all this stuff done in one night
Tell me after a dance that the diabeetus won't let your dick get hard, so you shouldn't owe me any cash. Fuck you, Wilford Brimley, pay up.
doc-catfish
09-30-2008, 04:51 PM
Show up at the club on something, take your shirt off, and throw it at the dancer on stage.
When she kicks it back at you, throw it at her again.
When she kicks it back a second time and sics the bouncer on you, fiercely resist, and scream "you will all be enslaved under my regime by August" at everybody in the club as you are escorted out.
^^ Actually saw that happen. Come that August, nothing happened. Meth will do that to ya'
:loco:
Rockell
09-30-2008, 05:00 PM
Tell me what the rules in the Champagne Room are. Even though I have been working in this club for 5 years and you have been here all of 2 times, you just KNOW that fucking and sucking are allowed, even after I tell you they're not. Make sure that you assure me that the bouncers "really aren't watching the cameras" and that "no one will find out".
bsteve
09-30-2008, 07:51 PM
And ask me where so and so dancer is and go on and on about how great she is while not tipping me, getting dances, or getting me drinks.
A serious question: is it EVER appropriate for a customer to talk about another dancer? Either in a positive or a negative way?
yoda57us
09-30-2008, 08:25 PM
A serious question: is it EVER appropriate for a customer to talk about another dancer? Either in a positive or a negative way?
Well, I spent about twenty minutes talking about a fav of mine with a new dancer I had just met the other night. Turns out they had worked together in another club and were friends. Of course, this was all part of a conversation that led to me spending about $300 on the new girl in the VIP room.
The proper topics of conversation depend largely on how well you are spending...
Crow2
09-30-2008, 09:09 PM
Oh and don't forget .. definitely STARCH your jeans before you go to the SC and don't bother to shave your face and make sure to rub your wire brush like whiskers ALL over any part of any stripper you can get close to. It wont bother them at all.. I promise!
grindonme
09-30-2008, 10:10 PM
Place a dollar in the palm of your hands and rub it all over the strippers ass and tits for as long as you can and when you're finished put the dollar back in your pocket... I've been seeing dudes do that since i first went to a stripclub and still have the :O face when i see it
jester214
09-30-2008, 10:21 PM
Place a dollar in the palm of your hands and rub it all over the strippers ass and tits for as long as you can and when you're finished put the dollar back in your pocket... I've been seeing dudes do that since i first went to a stripclub and still have the :O face when i see it
I've heard about a lot of classless things on here, and seen quite a few personally... but I do beleive this takes the cake in my opinion... I'm sure others might disagree, but wow....
jaizaine
10-01-2008, 09:27 AM
Place a dollar in the palm of your hands and rub it all over the strippers ass and tits for as long as you can and when you're finished put the dollar back in your pocket... I've been seeing dudes do that since i first went to a stripclub and still have the :O face when i see it
Which begs the question of why a dancer would allow a dollar to be rubbed all over her like this? :O
grindonme
10-01-2008, 10:18 AM
Which begs the question of why a dancer would allow a dollar to be rubbed all over her like this? :O
Some clubs are more contact than others and some dancers are more tolerable of touching than others. I said "as long as you can" because soon the dancer is gonna notice whats going on and react and thats when the guy will pull his hand + the dollar back and into his pocket. Most other guys give the same:O:O look that i give and usually the guy will leave the stage
jaizaine
10-01-2008, 10:19 AM
Some clubs are more contact than others and some dancers are more tolerable of touching than others. I said "as long as you can" because soon the dancer is gonna notice whats going on and react and thats when the guy will pull his hand + the dollar back and into his pocket. Most other guys give the same:O:O look that i give and usually the guy will leave the stage
Understand about the touching but it's a fucking dollar!! Like if someone did that to me, I'd crumble it up and stick it in his asshole.
iambonbon05
10-01-2008, 11:29 AM
A serious question: is it EVER appropriate for a customer to talk about another dancer? Either in a positive or a negative way?
It's fine, note the "go on and on" part. If she's that great, get a dance from her already!
And on another note, if she's that awful, just DONT get a dance from her and keep your trap shut already.
CKXXX
10-01-2008, 11:36 AM
A serious question: is it EVER appropriate for a customer to talk about another dancer? Either in a positive or a negative way?
NOT in a negative way EVER.The girl you are talking shit about could be my best friend. In a positive way..sure,but ONLY if you arent talking about how much better her ____(fill in the blank)is then mine and arent spending money on ME.If you like her better...tell me you are waiting for her and dont waste my time.
If you are just pointing out that she's pretty or has great tits or is really nice or whatever,thats fine and I will probably agree with you(yes,even if I dont like her)
Otoki
10-01-2008, 11:57 AM
Place a dollar in the palm of your hands and rub it all over the strippers ass and tits for as long as you can and when you're finished put the dollar back in your pocket... I've been seeing dudes do that since i first went to a stripclub and still have the :O face when i see it
That's fucking awful. AWFUL. *goes to punch something*
Crow2
10-01-2008, 12:25 PM
Take your dollar, fold it down the middle and rub the very corners tip in the MOST inappropriate places you can think of.. like in the dancers crotch - along side of her boobs.. etc. Of course DO NOT give her the dollar, that would just ruin all of the fun.
Also place the dollar in your mouth, slobber on it A LOT and then offer the bill like it was made of gold. While your doing all of this ask to "see it" over and over again. That always gets a wonderful response!
Rockell
10-01-2008, 01:58 PM
Take your dollar, fold it down the middle and rub the very corners tip in the MOST inappropriate places you can think of.. like in the dancers crotch - along side of her boobs.. etc. Of course DO NOT give her the dollar, that would just ruin all of the fun.
Also place the dollar in your mouth, slobber on it A LOT and then offer the bill like it was made of gold. While your doing all of this ask to "see it" over and over again. That always gets a wonderful response!
Lol while your at it, don't forget that before you do all that, make sure that you only have ONE dollar. Like crinkle it up to make sure that there aren't two dollars stuck together because GOD FORBID YOU ACCIDENTALLY GIVE MORE THAN ONE!!!! The longer you take to make sure the better.
UtahMike
10-01-2008, 08:26 PM
Notice how this thread began as an attempt at humor and satire and has descended into some back and forth bitching?
In a probably futile attempt to return to light heartedness, I offer the following:
I myself now plan to be a worse customer by wearing a plaid sport jacket and dress shirt where the buttons don't quite reach the buttonholes any more so that parts of my hairy tummy are exposed for the dancer's viewing pleasure.
Perry
10-01-2008, 09:55 PM
^^ I am all over that if you've got some belly-hair lint to rub off on me. ;D
DesuvsDeath
10-02-2008, 08:37 AM
When you're getting dances... Moan loadly and frequently. That's really hot.
Scream things like "GOD I HOPE YOU'RE ON THE PILL"... XD
Otoki
10-02-2008, 12:10 PM
When you're getting dances... Moan loadly and frequently. That's really hot.
Scream things like "GOD I HOPE YOU'RE ON THE PILL"... XD
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
WTF?
DesuvsDeath
10-02-2008, 12:13 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
WTF?
Don't ask... the suggestion was based on actual events.
lastone
10-02-2008, 02:24 PM
I myself now plan to be a worse customer by wearing a plaid sport jacket and dress shirt where the buttons don't quite reach the buttonholes any more so that parts of my hairy tummy are exposed for the dancer's viewing pleasure.
Oh yeah? Well every woman will tell you that size really does matter, and I bet my belly is bigger than yours. ;)
Crow2
10-02-2008, 04:26 PM
Notice how this thread began as an attempt at humor and satire and has descended into some back and forth bitching?
In a probably futile attempt to return to light heartedness, I offer the following:
I myself now plan to be a worse customer by wearing a plaid sport jacket and dress shirt where the buttons don't quite reach the buttonholes any more so that parts of my hairy tummy are exposed for the dancer's viewing pleasure.
Personally I think every comment I have posted has been hilarious.. then again I understand it's hard to tell in font. Psssst... you forgot the white shooes dood.. and they have to be patent leather, so they make that creepy stalker squeek. :D
Nuclear Martini
10-02-2008, 07:49 PM
When you want to tip the dancer on stage, stick one dollar bill to your hand and slap her ass as hard as you can with it, until the lone dollar bill sticks to her ass and her ass turns red.
I should have kicked the bastard who did that to me
bsteve
10-02-2008, 08:40 PM
When you're getting dances... Moan loadly and frequently. That's really hot.
Ouch! I do that. I never realized that it was inappropriate. I thought it was just a feedback that I am really into what she is doing, and that I am enjoying my LD. I viewed my moaning as cheerleading.
Thanks for straightening me out.
Well, what's the alternative? Should I just sit there not showing feelings?
grindonme
10-02-2008, 10:24 PM
Place a dollar in the palm of your hands and rub it all over the strippers ass and tits for as long as you can and when you're finished put the dollar back in your pocket... I've been seeing dudes do that since i first went to a stripclub and still have the :O face when i see it
If you really wanna be a bad customer add this move to the ^^^^ quote, while you're rubbing all over the tits and ass with one hand use the other hand to pick up dollars off the stage that other customers gave her
grindonme
10-03-2008, 12:08 AM
There's annoying, and then there's suicidal. With several of the dancers I've known a move like that could minimally be expected to result in a few broken fingers. }:D
I saw a stripper sit in the front row and watch a guy do that to 3 different strippers and say nothing until she got onstage and he tried to do it to her and she SNAPPED, caused so much fuss the guy left
Otoki
10-03-2008, 12:38 AM
Offer to give me a massage. Be really pushy about it. When I refuse and walk away, give a massage to another girl and get her "excited" because you keep trying to touch her boobs. Bonus points if you try it more than once before you are "removed"!
Rockell
10-03-2008, 12:15 PM
After you turn me down for a dance say, "Look at all these other guys in here that would love to get a dance from you. I bet you make so much money. How much do you make in a night?" Grrrr...
kaiarose
10-03-2008, 12:25 PM
Ouch! I do that. I never realized that it was inappropriate. I thought it was just a feedback that I am really into what she is doing, and that I am enjoying my LD. I viewed my moaning as cheerleading.
Thanks for straightening me out.
Well, what's the alternative? Should I just sit there not showing feelings?
A smile would work. Or the fact that we can feel your boner is a sure sign you're enjoying yourself. The moaning is embarassing not only to us but to yourself as well. When we turn and face away from you when you do that, we're usually rolling our eyes at the nearest dancer.
blancaloca
10-03-2008, 01:08 PM
Be a girl. And comment very loudly about how we are all whores, and how you'd never do such a thing, and how some of the girls are "ugly". This is especially effective if you're at the tip rail, so the particular girl you are picking apart can hear you. Yep, have a vaj and you win.
Crow2
10-03-2008, 02:43 PM
Ouch! I do that. I never realized that it was inappropriate. I thought it was just a feedback that I am really into what she is doing, and that I am enjoying my LD. I viewed my moaning as cheerleading.
Thanks for straightening me out.
Well, what's the alternative? Should I just sit there not showing feelings?
Eye contact.. seriously. A little noise is okay, but lets not do the porn star thing. :D
Earl_the_Pearl
10-03-2008, 03:00 PM
Or the fact that we can feel your boner is a sure sign you're enjoying yourself.
I'm so confused.
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n7/selftorture_loser/SWEATPANTS.jpg
Rockell
10-03-2008, 03:58 PM
Be a girl. And comment very loudly about how we are all whores, and how you'd never do such a thing, and how some of the girls are "ugly". This is especially effective if you're at the tip rail, so the particular girl you are picking apart can hear you. Yep, have a vaj and you win.
LOL so true.......some of the WORST customers are female.
Otoki
10-04-2008, 03:48 PM
A smile would work. Or the fact that we can feel your boner is a sure sign you're enjoying yourself. The moaning is embarassing not only to us but to yourself as well. When we turn and face away from you when you do that, we're usually rolling our eyes at the nearest dancer.
And laughing. Don't forget the laughing.
mina loy
10-04-2008, 04:16 PM
When you're getting dances... Moan loadly and frequently. That's really hot.
Scream things like "GOD I HOPE YOU'RE ON THE PILL"... XD
:crazy: :boggled:
jaizaine
10-05-2008, 10:15 PM
while i dance for you nuzzle at my neck or attempt to kiss or lick my ear. ummm we are not dating ok?
UtahMike
10-06-2008, 08:34 PM
^^ While I do that may I make passionate noises like a cheap porno film soundtrack?
jaizaine
10-06-2008, 10:40 PM
^^ While I do that may I make passionate noises like a cheap porno film soundtrack?
sure that makes me really hot ;D
Otoki
10-07-2008, 08:27 PM
^^ While I do that may I make passionate noises like a cheap porno film soundtrack?
Also make sure to talk about how big your dick is and how you want to stick it in my ass/mouth/pussy. That really turns me on. Bonus points if you meet any of the criteria in this thread : http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1733378
UtahMike
10-07-2008, 08:54 PM
OK, but you gotta promise to turn me down.
lemmiwinks31
10-08-2008, 03:16 PM
OK, but you gotta promise to turn me down.
If they turn you down...they dont mean it...you know they want it...just keep trying
UtahMike
10-08-2008, 09:30 PM
^^ LW31, I don't think you understand the satirical nature of my posts in this thread.
Otoki
10-09-2008, 08:02 AM
^^ LW31, I don't think you understand the satirical nature of my posts in this thread.
I'm going to assume they do, so I don't have to break down and cry for the fate of humanity.
Moving on: I really love it when you come in, sit down, and have a few drinks. Don't get dances, though, and for god's sake DON'T tip us! That would hurt our feelings. Make sure to talk to your buddy the whole time, and then reject girls for dances AS A TEAM! Dancers really admire teamwork like this. It makes us hot.
lemmiwinks31
10-09-2008, 09:49 AM
^^ LW31, I don't think you understand the satirical nature of my posts in this thread.
yes i did.....i was just adding on.