View Full Version : Dear X
kitty69
05-06-2008, 10:46 AM
Whoa. W.T.F. ?!
I laughed out so loud :rotfl:
Sorry back to normal service.
Lady Jade
05-06-2008, 11:30 AM
Dear Dumbshit-at-Work,
I don't understand how you still have a job. I've never seen anyone, in all my years of being employed, who was as chronically lazy and late are you are. I just can't fathom how you can be late EVERY SINGLE DAY for your 10 am - 2 pm job. You don't have to be here until TEN, and you get to leave at 2 to go nanny for the VP until 5. It's not like you have a night job to go to that keeps you up all night. There's no viable excuse for you to come in 20+ minutes late every morning and complain about how exhausted you are when the rest of us are here by 8 am. You do not get any sympathy, and yes, we laugh about you behind your back when you "get sick" and need to come in late/go home early/call out because we know better.
Yes, I understand that you are a single parent to a 4 year-old. Yes, I understand it is hard for you sometimes because your daughter can be a brat. But you know who's fault that is? YOURS. You're the one who lets her stay up until all hours of the night instead of making her go to bed. You're the one who lets her talk in all kinds of disrepectful manners to anyone and everyone. Don't say, "Oh, she sees it on tv/hears it on the radio" and call that an excuse. You're the adult - you turn on the tv/radio for her to hear these things. Here's a suggestion, how 'bout some Sesame Street, eh? Again, YOU ARE THE ADULT. Your child should not control you. Make her go to bed so you can get up on time and get your ass to work on time. The next time you come in ridiculously late to cover my bathroom break, I'm going to pee on your chair, got it?
And while we're on the subject of being an adult, where is the money you owe me? Yes, I know you're aware that you owe me money but are pretending you don't. Did you forget that I keep a detailed account of where every single penny I earn goes? I obviously don't make as much as you do, as you let slip that incredulous "that's it?!" when you found out the standard salary rate at the office. How is it that you need to borrow money from me? Your rent is less than 25% of mine, thanks to your brother owning your building. You don't ever cook since your child eats at your sister's during the day and you're always trying to steal other people's food out of the refrigerator to take home for dinner. You wear the same worn out shit to work every day (how embarrassing for you when a big client comes in and comments about your "dusty" looking black capri pants, eh?), so you're obviously not buying clothes. Where does all your money go, then? Oh, yea, to your partying. Trust me, no one here believes that you're so broke when you're talking about buying shots and blunts for your "girls" right after asking around for lunch money. So yea, stop being an irresponsible child and pay back the money that I and others have lent you in good faith - or you'll be meeting face to face with Bertha, my 22 lb sledge hammer. I haven't the patience to try to reason with you anymore, so I will resort to violence. It might not solve the problem, but it will certainly make me feel good.
Again, be an adult. Take responsibility for your actions and remember that the things you do actually have an effect on others, and there will be consequences.
Sincerely,
The cute Asian girl with a bad temper
TheTempest
05-06-2008, 12:11 PM
Dear Dumbshit-at-Work,
The next time you come in ridiculously late to cover my bathroom break, I'm going to pee on your chair, got it?
Sincerely,
The cute Asian girl with a bad temper
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Lady Jade
05-06-2008, 12:44 PM
^^^ Oh, you have NO idea how painful it gets! My body is trained, 10 am = potty time. When she strolls in at 10:30, says "be right back" and doesn't reappear for another half hour... yea. Next time, I'm walking to her desk and peeing on her.
RoseLeigh
05-06-2008, 02:16 PM
^^
Wow, now that's a job I want! Come in late, leave early, slack, cage money off of everyone. Woo hoo! They don't want to replace her for the summer do they? ;)
Lady Jade
05-06-2008, 02:39 PM
^^^ That's the most frustrating part, she's been working at our office for 10 years! Her slacking has gotten progressively worse and worse, but the VP she nannies for is such a bleeding-heart moron, it's not even funny. She falls for every single fake sob story this girl spews out!
RoseLeigh
05-06-2008, 02:49 PM
^^^ That's the most frustrating part, she's been working at our office for 10 years! Her slacking has gotten progressively worse and worse, but the VP she nannies for is such a bleeding-heart moron, it's not even funny. She falls for every single fake sob story this girl spews out!
Oh if only I had come across THAT boss in my office days!:D JK. I was not that bad. That's really frustrating though.
Madcap
05-06-2008, 03:05 PM
Dear X,
Your suspicions are correct. I really don't give a shit about your problems. Every one of them is a direct result of your stupid drug use. I'd cheerfully tell you this, but i don't need the hassle with family members blissfully ignorant to your stupid games bitching at me for doing it.
P.S. Your stories about fucking 15 year old junkies while you were dealing don't impress me, they turn my stomach and remind me why i hate you so much.
P.P.S. And your shed didn't "burn down" you retard, it blew up. I'm not as stupid as my aunt, moron. There were pieces of it all over your yard. You were cooking something in there, sheds don't spontaneously explode.
Your cousin.
stripperMBA
05-07-2008, 01:10 AM
Dear Sinuses,
You have been torturing me the past few days with that frontal assault headache from hell. Then the scratchy sore throat and then felling like crap for days on end. If I were a cat I would have scratched my damn forehead off!!>:( When someone is blowing their brains out this must be the level of pain they feel for a nanosecond before they die. Yes, I do realize that I am living in a really old crappy house and living in an area medically known for allergies. But I am here to make money. Today you fucked with my money by making it impossible for me to go to work. So sinuses I say this to you :finger: . I love the low cost of living in this area, and my money making capabilities here. But you are making me move to a newer more expensive place maybe even out to the burbs. I hate you sinuses. Fuck what you are irritated by. I have already given milk and eggs up for you haven't you taken enough from my life.:'(
pissed of cranky owner of bad sinuses
Miss_Luscious
05-07-2008, 05:00 AM
Dear Stripperweb,
So when I mention an idea about calling people ot on their bullshit, it gets shut down becasue it's "mean" to do that in public. But in this very thread numerous people have called out the same person for the same thing. That's ok though? Awesome!
-Luscious
britt244
05-07-2008, 12:28 PM
Dear Stripperweb,
So when I mention an idea about calling people ot on their bullshit, it gets shut down becasue it's "mean" to do that in public. But in this very thread numerous people have called out the same person for the same thing. That's ok though? Awesome!
-Luscious
dear miss_luscious,
i <3 you from the very bottom of my heart. but i'd <3 you even moooore if you came to work tonight. kthx. ;D
xoxo, britt
iambonbon05
05-07-2008, 12:59 PM
Wow LJ, sounds like quite the coworker.
TheTempest
05-07-2008, 01:11 PM
Dear World -
Please die and leave me alone.
Love,
Me.
Dear Self -
Stop being lazy. Get your ass to work on homework. Work out. Plan when you're going to audition and get back to work. Also, forgive yourself for spending $50 bucks on a Gazelle worth at least twice that.
Love,
Self.
AmazingKat
05-07-2008, 02:11 PM
Dear Men,
It takes just as much time to put the dishes in the dishwasher as it does to try and stack them jenga style in the sink.
Justfuckingputtheminthereforjebussakekay?
TheTempest
05-07-2008, 02:35 PM
Dear X,
You know just how to make me feel better and that is why I text you with stupid comments 'cause you say something and I'm all smiles again. You're a great friend and I only hope I'm a good friend to you too.
Love,
Me
P.S. Yes, this is about you. :P
Dear X,
You're a patient and endearing person. I see us being great friends when I have more time to devote to our friendship. Continue your patience!
Love,
Me
Dear X,
We went on one date. I asked you to give me some space during finals 'cause things have been so f-ing bad. You give me attitude when I respond to a text message and an e-mail in one day by saying "hey, I asked for some space". Yeah. No second date.
No love,
Me
SundayMorning
05-07-2008, 04:37 PM
Dear X,
Hey, it's me. The me that's inhabiting you. The me that is about to continue two of the busiest, most exciting months that I've had in years, if ever. I know I'm asking a lot of you. This involves being "on" all the time and you've had months of downtime with occasional bursts of energy and socialization. It's stressful, I know. But I think you can handle it. I'm trying to give you lots of sleep, healthy food, hot baths and flattery.....so don't puss out on me and keep me from enjoying this!
In mutual love/hate,
Me
Jade Danger
05-08-2008, 07:08 PM
dear X,
thank you for letting me go get naked
love me XXX
dear green tea,
please stop making me need to pee all the time, your worse than that bastard coffee.
from bladder
dear me
go and rock me on saturday night, i know you haven't danced for a long time but you do it all the time in the lounge and as soon as you get on that stage you will feel right at home. dont worry you wont fall off your shoes, or the pole, or the stage you will be Stripptastic!!!
love from your mojo
britt244
05-09-2008, 03:40 PM
dear girl who would look like brooke hogan, if brooke's face was all of a sudden squashed into the shape of a football,
you are 20 years old. getting wasted at work and hitting someone's car should've been your wakeup call. you've worked here for a month - maybe 12 days total. you've gotten in major trouble 3 times so far, and gotten in another car accident outside of work. are you stupid? wait, don't answer that. you are. but if you continue trying to use my boyfriend to keep you out of trouble, you will find yourself in more trouble than i'm guessing you can handle. i'm going to offer you one piece of advice - quit while you're ahead. you don't know what you're getting into. but i guess when you're the type who makes out with customers right out in the open, you might not be the type who considers the consequences of your actions. oh well. he warned you.
<3 ya,
the evil bitch that's about to ruin your life
RoseLeigh
05-09-2008, 04:21 PM
Dear lovely-but-annoying X,
DO NOT call me to tell me you don't know how to do the essay questions we were given as prep for the exam when you apparently were not paying attention at all in class! I am not your savior! If you've taken Early Medieval Art AND Byzantine Art and you still can't figure out what Constantine did, that is NOT my problem. You had three months to ask for my notes in classes you didn't bother to go to. And yeesh, Constantine? COME ON.
Love,
The girl who knows why the rest of your ancestors weren't fed to lions
Sophia_Ashley
05-09-2008, 09:36 PM
Dear room mate...
seriously the avoidance? WTF
Regards,
the chick that's about to toss your ass to the curb like 10 days before rent is due again.
Paintbaby
05-10-2008, 11:57 PM
Dear ex~
You were right. I AM too good for you. And I always hated your saggy ballsack.
signed,
your ex
Mastridonicus
05-11-2008, 11:49 AM
Dear ex~
You were right. I AM too good for you. And I always hated your saggy ballsack.
signed,
your ex
That's a T-shirt.
Sophia_Ashley
05-11-2008, 01:26 PM
Dear ex~
You were right. I AM too good for you. And I always hated your saggy ballsack.
signed,
your ex
Amen! lol
kaiarose
05-11-2008, 01:30 PM
Dear J,
Why? Why did you fuck with my life? Why did you get me fired? How could you get me fired and still continue to wear my dress that I borrowed you? Did you know that your own boyfriend is trying to pay me to kick your ass? I told him I'd do it for free. That's how much I loathe you.
~m
Lysondra
05-11-2008, 01:35 PM
Dear X,
I hope you're not so dumb as to not realize my thinly veiled come-on is an attempt to shag you.
I'd really like to shag you.
You're hot, funny, smart, kinda weird, and seem to enjoy life.
Let's shag.
-Lizzie
Sophia_Ashley
05-11-2008, 01:51 PM
Dear X
I'm sorry I'm such an unaffectionate asshole. I have no idea why I'm like that. It makes no sense.
kaiarose
05-11-2008, 01:55 PM
Dear me,
If you are so bored why don't you clean the house? Seriously. This place is a wreck! Stop being so lazy. But it's mother's day, I shouldn't have to do anything!
~me
Sophia_Ashley
05-11-2008, 09:18 PM
Dear me myself and I,
Get motivated and get a fire lit under my ass. I have to make life happen in the next 6 days. I have to make it REALLY happen the remainder of this month.
I'd pray to god but I think he's done listening to me make excuses etc. So I'm praying to myself.
GET IT TOGETHER
Moi
Perry
05-11-2008, 11:52 PM
Dear X,
I miss you
Love,
Me
MissDewdrop
05-12-2008, 10:33 AM
Dear Fickle Back,
What can I do to make you stop hurting? I appreciate that you only act up every once and awhile, but I hate that you hold my life ransom at times. What can I bribe you with?
Me
E.Eve
05-12-2008, 08:19 PM
Dear me,
Please stop eating the delicious, wonderful freezer pops that reside in your freezer. You already ate the good flavors...now there's nothing left but the banana and grape flavors which suck. You're trying to cut back on your sugar intake and these are not helping.
Do NOT go back into that kitchen, dammit!
Lysondra
05-12-2008, 08:33 PM
Dear X,
GOD DAMNIT PUT YOUR SCRABBLE WORD DOWN ALREADY. It's not my fault you suck.
-Lizzie
TheSexKitten
05-12-2008, 08:47 PM
Dear X,
You're awesome in moderation and on special occasions and you make me happy and you make trance music sound heavenly. Thx for expanding my perception.
:)
-Your little raver
velvet
05-12-2008, 10:22 PM
Dear X,
You're awesome in moderation and on special occasions and you make me happy and you make trance music sound heavenly. Thx for expanding my perception.
:)
-Your little raver
hehe that was cute. oh and +1
cherry_sin
05-13-2008, 10:48 AM
+2. :)
Lady Jade
05-13-2008, 11:33 AM
Dear X,
Trying convince me that I'm not hot won't repair your broken self-esteem. If you feel so down about yourself, maybe you should work on FIXING yourself instead of wallowing in your own misery and trying to drag others with you. Some of us are secure enough in our hotness not to need validation from others.
Sincerely,
Jade the Hottie
mollyzmoon
05-13-2008, 11:40 AM
Dear X,
Hey babe, I needs my space!! I am a space-cadet, and if you really loved me for that, you'd know that I need to travel around the parallel-o-grahmcrackers of my own design. So, it's kind of sweet that you like to check up on me, because I'm not there yet where it's less sweet...but like yogurt is good for two weeks, you know? And I love the adoration you hiccup when you're drunk.
But next time I'm at the movies with the girls, or tending my own garden, you don't need to 'happenchance' your way to our table. It's still sweet, but more so a sweetly tinged weird. You were having a beer next door? O rly? Until we're married, since it's a foregone conclusion you may not realize how often you bring up (rly), we don't to see eachother every single day, you knows?
Thanks my nerdy Viking man,
love yas
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 03:31 PM
Dear X
I think I'm over you. I can't tell. Shit Im depressed. I look at you and I just see frustration and loss.
Nothing is growing, it's all dying off.
regards,
sad girl on couch
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 06:37 PM
Dear X (and X and X and other X),
Please stop with the self destructive, crazy, irresponsible, head-in-the-clouds, lalalalalaala behavior. What is it, a full moon?
Love,
RL (Brought to you by the letters P, M & S)
Ps. X, your bf is a pompous jerk. And I don't need his freaking approval.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:24 PM
Dear X
I'm kicking you out in 24 hours via E-mail since you can't answer your phone or speak to me in person. I hate doing it this way but there is little choice.
TheSexKitten
05-13-2008, 08:33 PM
Dear X
I'm kicking you out in 24 hours via E-mail since you can't answer your phone or speak to me in person. I hate doing it this way but there is little choice.
:hug: Aw man. Good luck girl! Stay strong.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:35 PM
It's a roommate and a sticky situation. I'm sorta at my wits end.
Thank you though, I don't have anyone to talk to about it, considering she's my bf's room mates gf.
MESSY
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 09:25 PM
Dear X who gave me my first son,
I finally found you 13 years after you bailed during his birth. thanks to my skills in finding anyone and everyones buisness online. I called, your wife answered. She asked who I was and I said " the woman you knocked up 13 years ago, who gave birth to a son named Kaden whom you have never seen" She then said hold on...and you got on the phone and without saying shit ..hung up.
I hate you. You are missing out on the best kid ever. And on top of it, now what do I say when one day he will want to seek you out? DO I say "Don't call him because he hung up on me? " or do I let him hurt even more by having it happen to him, himself. You suck. And I feel so sorry for my son who always asks who's eyes he haves.
Regards,
the 16 year old girl you got pregnant in 1994.
francescadubois
05-15-2008, 02:05 PM
Dear Stripperweb,
I miss the old you. No more fights, ok? :hug:
Love,
Francesca
beauty21queen
05-15-2008, 02:25 PM
Dear X,
I miss you so much.I wish I could see you I still think about you all the time and wonder why the hell did this shit happen! I love you and I also wish that grandma would return to being the same way. I hate seeing her so depressed. God I miss you ...........
Love your daughter/grand daughter
phillyvixen
05-16-2008, 11:54 AM
Dear Baby X
I am so sorry that i can not hold you 24/7 it is humanly impossible.
I spent a lot of money on a nice swing for you and i wish you would learn to enjoy it more. Sometimes it would be ok for you to fall asleep with out me having to walk around shushing you. Sometimes it would also be ok for you to sleep while daddy and i eat dinner.
Love always
Your mama
mollyzmoon
05-16-2008, 12:21 PM
Dear mosquitoes,
You ruin my life. My ass is welty and red, and my willpower is working overtime just to keep my hands clasped and not scratching. I am falling asleep and practically drooling from all the benadryl I've taken. I am ALLERGIC to your nastiness. I want you to be EXTINCT. I want to move to Hawaii where you apparently don't live. But in the meantime, can you just bother the other mammals at the farm? I promise they are tastier.
Hate you.
Me
Lonelily
05-16-2008, 04:42 PM
Dear X's,
Stop being bullies and running all the cool people off.
Kthx,
Me
VegasPrincess
05-16-2008, 06:06 PM
Dear Police Officer that pulled me over last night....
You didn't have to be such an asshole. Yes, I was drinking and driving, but I was by no means wasted. I tried to be polite and cooperate with you, but you wouldn't have it. Thanks for making me blow into the brethalyzer 9020290 times and blame me for it not working. I hope you feel good about bullying a girl all night long when I felt bad enough as it was.
Me
GoldCoastGirl
05-17-2008, 06:48 PM
Dear X
I did not act like a friend this morning. I acted like a jilted lover. This was not my intention as I am honestly sincerely enjoying being friends with you. I was having a bad morning, it was just too easy to focus all the crap happening in my life on you and thus "your girl". I honestly didn't mean any dis-respect tho' I was very dis-respectful.
Unfortunately, I do feel better for it happening. A part of me, the vindictive part (the sting in the scorpio's tail) over-ruled my normal self. I wanted to hurt you as you had hurt me by choosing her over me (not to mention the fact that you were sleeping with her and me at the same time and only told me when it was all over and done with us). I wanted you to stop having me as your "dirty little secret" as such as well (the fact that we were friends and you had not told "your girl").
Then she dis-respected me. I do not allow people to speak to me as she did. I do NOT take that shit talking lightly.
I am now over you. You are probably over me too now huh? I'll find out later.. give you and me a couple of days for everything to "calm down". Plus I really want to give a guy who IS interested in dating me a chance.
You may not understand however I had to do what I did. It was cathartic for me. It hurt you, it hurt her ... however I wanted to hurt you. You hurt me. You betrayed me.
Now I can let go.
Now I can "be friends" with you if you so desire (you probably don't now and I understand).
Thank you.