View Full Version : "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?
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verfolgung
06-18-2009, 02:29 PM
^^^ I underestimate her? When?
Are you saying that all you're really doing is trying to instigate an argument? That might be thought of as being kind of "stupid", but that's just my opinion. ;)
jack0177057
06-18-2009, 02:43 PM
^^^ I underestimate her? When?
Are you saying that all you're really doing is trying to instigate an argument? That might be thought of as being kind of "stupid", but that's just my opinion. ;)
No, I was expressing my sincere opinion...
But, I enjoy debating her, she is brilliant and passionate... and much better looking than Commanderadama...
commanderadama
06-18-2009, 05:04 PM
Jack, What the hell does Aristotle have to do with class interactions in regards to dating an exotic dancer?
I'm beginning to think you're a college student at this point. You do know we don't live in a democracy right? We live in a republic. Plus Aristotle's idea that the middle class would defend against factionalism proved to be incorrect.
When you started the now "epic how to pick up hot girls thread I pegged you as a pedestal man who really should go a buy himself a wife over in Eastern Europe. Your last posts with Jayatee confirm this assessment. LOL
JayATee
06-18-2009, 06:59 PM
Having different values or opinions make me "stupid"? The question posed by the OP was not a true/false question nor did it seek an analysis of an academic subject... It sought opinions... and I am entitled to mine, regardless how "stupid" it seems to those who disagree with it.
JayATee, I totally respect you and your husband...
It's never bothered him at all? How much contact is involved in your dances?
You're not stupid so much as your ideals are. You speak about this as if you're an expert on the subject when in truth I think you have absolutely no experience with the exception of buying dances from dancers when you go to the SC. I think that's the extent of your experience with this entire thing. Yet you speak as though you have first hand knowledge.
No, my dancing has never bothered him, from full contact to air dances he couldn't care less. I'm coming home to him, what does he care about the guy who drools over me and pays me ITC? He gets the real me, and he's the one who has claim to me so to speak, so what does it matter? Your stereotypes and generalizations are just that, and they're silly to boot.
^^^ I underestimate her? When?
Are you saying that all you're really doing is trying to instigate an argument? That might be thought of as being kind of "stupid", but that's just my opinion.
This made me LoL. You know... cause it's not obvious or anything. :cutie:
Cyril
06-18-2009, 07:09 PM
I have nothing against men who are OK with their wives and girl friends providing sex related services.
But I will never be OK with my wife or girl friend doing any of that.
My wife does not work and I am OK with it. I think the outside world is too cruel and cold for a woman. It is a jungle out there filled with wolves.
We all have rights to guard our value system as long as we remain within the bounds of law.
lopaw
06-18-2009, 07:12 PM
I have nothing against men who are OK with their wives and girl friends providing sex related services.
But I will never be OK with my wife or girl friend doing any of that.
My wife does not work and I am OK with it. I think the outside world is too cruel and cold for a woman. It is a jungle out there filled with wolves.
We all have rights to guard our value system as long as we remain within the bounds of law.
I'm curious....you are not American, are you?
I'm guessing.....European?
JayATee
06-18-2009, 07:14 PM
I have nothing against men who are OK with their wives and girl friends providing sex related services.
But I will never be OK with my wife or girl friend doing any of that.
My wife does not work and I am OK with it. I think the outside world is too cruel and cold for a woman. It is a jungle out there filled with wolves.
We all have rights to guard our value system as long as we remain within the bounds of law.
LoL, but you want to divorce her bc she doesn't dress up as a stripper and fulfill your every fantasy...
Cyril
06-18-2009, 07:23 PM
I'm curious....you are not American, are you?
I'm guessing.....European?
There are plenty of Americans who are not OK with their wives and girl friends performing sex related services. And further more, there are plenty of American women who prefer to be housewives.
Cyril
06-18-2009, 07:27 PM
LoL, but you want to divorce her bc she doesn't dress up as a stripper and fulfill your every fantasy...
Well JayATee,
I have not divorced her yet. And, it does not seem likely in near future. I am sort of torn on that issue.
Life is a complex thing.
Hopefully, my crush on strippers will go away eventually.
hockeybobby
06-18-2009, 07:38 PM
Hopefully, my crush on strippers will go away eventually.
It may, but the problems at home that you avoid dealing with by going to the club won't go away. Your avoidance is reinforced and rewarded every time you go as well. The club, and the girls can become an addiction.
Cyril
06-18-2009, 07:49 PM
The club, and the girls can become an addiction.
That is why I am avoiding going there. I have a feeling, it will become my solace. Whenever I am away from home on a business trip, I have a strong desire to visit a strip club.
I am just curious, what kind of satisfaction do you get by going to a strip club? Do you have friends there? Is it a place to kill some time? Do you hang out with your buddies there?
(You do not need to answer if you do not feel like it.)
hockeybobby
06-18-2009, 08:16 PM
I am just curious, what kind of satisfaction do you get by going to a strip club? Do you have friends there? Is it a place to kill some time? Do you hang out with your buddies there?
(You do not need to answer if you do not feel like it.)
I go there for lunch (close to my office). I hang out with the bartender and a couple of the dancers, and I just kind of treat it like "my club". The food is good, the entertainment is tip-worthy, and I get a 10 minute brisk walk there and back as a bonus.
Cyril
06-18-2009, 08:19 PM
A strip club does not have to be a depressing addiction. It should be a fun place to hang out once in a while.
You seem to have an optimum attitude towards strip clubs.
JayATee
06-18-2009, 08:20 PM
There are plenty of Americans who are not OK with their wives and girl friends performing sex related services. And further more, there are plenty of American women who prefer to be housewives.
This has to do with what?
Well JayATee,
I have not divorced her yet. And, it does not seem likely in near future. I am sort of torn on that issue.
Life is a complex thing.
Hopefully, my crush on strippers will go away eventually.
Uh huh... another statement that has nothing to do with anything. You missed my point entirely.
God are you people all this thickheaded really?
Cyril
06-18-2009, 08:32 PM
This has to do with what?
I was just responding to Lopaw.
Uh huh... another statement that has nothing to do with anything. You missed my point entirely.
God are you people all this thickheaded really?
What was your point?
As I understood, your point was to criticize me for wanting to divorce my wife. And, I addressed that criticism by pointing out that a divorce did not seem likely in near future. However, there may be some other complications, which I am unable to for see at the moment.
JayATee
06-18-2009, 08:35 PM
I was just responding to Lopaw.
Im aware, I read her post and yours.
What was your point?
As I understood, your point was to criticize me for wanting to divorce my wife. And, I addressed that criticism by pointing out that a divorce did not seem likely in near future. However, there may be some other complications, which I am unable to for see at the moment.
::) My point is that you're a hypocrite.
Cyril
06-18-2009, 08:38 PM
::) My point is that you're a hypocrite.
I am not a hypocrite.
We have to agree to disagree and move on.
lopaw
06-18-2009, 08:57 PM
There are plenty of Americans who are not OK with their wives and girl friends performing sex related services. And further more, there are plenty of American women who prefer to be housewives.
It was just a simple question.....don't read more into it than intended.
I asked because your value system seems in line with many of my european friends.
JayATee
06-18-2009, 11:13 PM
I am not a hypocrite.
We have to agree to disagree and move on.
LoL, you're not a hypocrite? You want your wife to dress up like a stripper and give you lap dances and everything but you wouldn't actually date a stripper. What part of that makes you not a hypocrite?
I don't think it's that we disagree, I think you don't like being called out.
Almost Jaded
06-19-2009, 12:09 AM
Jack, Jack, Jack... I love some of your posts, and then you go and make asinine statements like the 3 categories one. Come on now, give some of us more credit, please! I think Jay's hubby and I would get along great, lol. I have already expressed the fact that I 1.) acknowledge that the majority of men DON'T think like (I dare use the term "we") do, and 2.) stated that I think that that is unfortunate. I will expound a little there.
1st - I trust my girl. That means several things, not just that I don't think she would fuck around on me. I don't want her giving 'extras', but I trust in her judgment as to what is or isn't permissible in the club. Were she to decide to give 'extras', I would trust that she was being at least careful with who and with what protection, and that she would at least be extremely demanding about the $ she would be willing to trade for even a minor 'offense' - because she's worth it, lol. I could make a separate point a' la' my not considering her 'my property' -, cuz married or not, she isn't - but I don't think it;s a separate issue. Either I trust her or I don't.
2nd - I'm very secure in my sexuality and 'manhood'. I don't worry about whether or not she's tempted by guys in the club. Which if you think about it is pretty darn heavy considering we met there with her giving me a 30 minute VIP! This carries further in that I don't give a rats ass who's drooling at the sight of her or trying to grope her in VIP - do I think that behavior is reprehensible? Yup, and when I'm in a SC I obey the rules to a point where dancers think I'm weird, lol. Do I think that I need to worry myself about it? No. She decides if he's out of line or not, because she's the one that's dancing for him. And if she decides he IS out of line, she can deal with it and/or rely on the security at the club. Do I think that there's probably contact going on that I might not 'approve' of watching it first hand? Eh, probably - but again - it's her body, her limits. And as Jay points out - I know where she's sleeping, lol. And here's where I again don't make a separate issue of the 'guys pawing at MY girl' thing - either I'm secure enough to not worry about it, or I'm not. I am.
Thus I say - without ire or insult intended - that men who can't deal with their woman making dancing a career are either insecure or jealous and untrusting or both. I find it amusing and a shame that you (the plural you and Jack specifically) assign those same traits - insecurity and/or distrust - to someone like me, LMAO.
Let's play a little "reverse the situation" game. You're say... An OBGYN or a plastic surgeon specializing in breast augmentation. It's your job, and while the atmosphere may not be the same as a SC, the contact is FAR more intimate; and we all know that not all women go in there, see an attractive young man in the room, and keep the best of intentions. How reasonable is it for your wife to expect you to change careers? Would you find that indicative of distrust or insecurity? Would you be offended? And please no comments about how those professions required lots of school blah blah - that makes no difference in the moral discussion. I say there is NO difference - a job is a job. The atmosphere I will give you, but I'll meet that with the fact that REALLY intimate contact is the exceptin at a SC, not the rule, whereas in the other two careers mentioned, it's required, and FAR more intimate. I'm curious to see how this one goes over, I really am.
One last thing unrelated to the above - Commander, I see you've chosen to ignore my comment. I'm sure you'll say it's because I'm obviously lower class or that it wasn't worthy or some BS - but really, I threw the gauntlet down pretty hard, and I meant it.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-19-2009, 03:06 AM
It's never bothered him at all? How much contact is involved in your dances?How much contact is involved with any women when her SO is not looking? All women are dancers.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-19-2009, 03:13 AM
1st - I trust my girl. That means several things, not just that I don't think she would fuck around on me.
You have admitted that you are a number 2.
(2) swingers, who are into the wife/GF-swapping lifestyle
No problem I wouldn't do anything my GF wouldn't do. ;)
jack0177057
06-19-2009, 08:07 AM
You're not stupid so much as your ideals are. You speak about this as if you're an expert on the subject when in truth I think you have absolutely no experience with the exception of buying dances from dancers when you go to the SC. I think that's the extent of your experience with this entire thing. Yet you speak as though you have first hand knowledge.
You're right... That's the smart response I was expecting from you... I really don't have any experience, nor have I taken a survey on this subject or even read articles on it... I was just speculating on the subject...
But, my speculation should not be entirely dismissed... I believe I am actually a very open-minded guy... Many guys like me (educated, professional, "upwardly-mobile" with a 6-digit salary) would not date a dancer because of the stereotype and stigma... I know enough about dancers (from reading auto-biographies and this forum) to know that they are wonderful and smart people, not at all like the negative stereotypes.
So, to answer the OP's question:
When a guy meets a girl for the very 1st time finds out she is a stripper, I think that is a major turn on for about 90% of guys... But,... that is not to say he will be interested in a LTR with a dancer...
I speculate the following, based on what I know about myself and other guys I've talked to during my life:
(1) Many guys who are educated, professional and "upwardly-mobile" will not enter into a LTR with a dancer because of the stereotype and stigma. They need a girl that will win the approval of all their family and peers.
(2) Guys like me, who are educated, professional and "upwardly-mobile", but more open-minded and independent-thinkers, will enter into a LTR with a dancer, but will like for her to give up high-contact dancing, and eventually, transition into another career.
(3) Other guys are totally okay with you being a dancer for the rest of your life. These guys are:
a) Guys that are wired differently, and actually get aroused in situations that would make most men jealous. If they see you giving a guy a lap dance or even providing extras, this turns them on... They see you as a sex godess and love to watch other men sexually worship you. In fact, they might be disillusioned if you give up dancing.
b) Guys that believe in "free-love" and "open-relationships"... They are okay with you dancing and even providing extras... They also need the freedom to pursue their own sexual adventures... They totally reject the possessory attributes of traditional relationships.
c) Loveable "loser" guys that depend on you to support them. They can't complain about your dancing because that is what is supporting them.
d) Bohemian "starving-artists" guys that are laid-back and totally "cool" with anything you do.
e) The perfect guy who loves you unconditionally -- I'm sure he exists out there somewhere.
jack0177057
06-19-2009, 08:25 AM
LoL, but you want to divorce her bc she doesn't dress up as a stripper and fulfill your every fantasy...
Fantasies are just that... fantasies. They often involve taboo subjects that are not desireable in real life. For example, a lot of girls enjoy the "rape fantasy" - being tied up and forcefully taken by their BF,... but that does not mean they want to be raped in real life.
Almost Jaded
06-19-2009, 09:14 AM
Earl - you are wrong. I am not a swinger, and we are not into the swapping lifestyle. She has very different views on relationships and encourages behavior that would be considered well outside the nor, yes - but she's not a swinger or a swapper either. As she's a member here I feel I shouldn't go into tremendous detail on our sex life and relationship; though we're both pretty open about such things day to day. Call it TMI for most peope, and something I don't feel I 'need' to explain to strangers.
^and there's Jack in #474, making perfect sense again, LMAO. In #473 however, your 'categories' have expanded from 3 to 5, and is still missing a couple, lol. People's motivations and outlooks are complicated things my friend. Continuing to try and lump them together... Well, you'll end up writing a book that Commander would LOVE. ;)
commanderadama
06-19-2009, 09:58 AM
You, claiming to end boring threadjack - that you and one other member essentially started/kept going. LMAO.
The thread jack I was ending was Jack's obsession with specifics of my personal situation and the silly notion that I (or anyone else) gives a damn about his.
What really cracks me up is that you read whole books full of (supposedly) information, then pass judgment on people based on a few words written on a Vb board. As one who subscribes to the scientific theory (which I guess means reading a few books, lol), I would think you'd want more information before making a call.
Where do I pass judgment? (Quotes please) Except for Jack, I do pass judgment on him. }:D
What kind of scientest, BTW? I left school before finishing my doctorate in chemical physics with a minor in hard physics. I love the sciences and the people in them - when they're the real deal pursuing real research. The fact that that's as uncommon as it is is part of the reason I left.
I'm a Biologist and I don't believe you were a candidate. I can't think of any college (outside of online) that would have let you even start the program if they didn't know you would finish and your contempt for Academia would have been rooted out while you pursued a MS, my guess is that no-one would sponsor you.
jack0177057
06-19-2009, 10:41 AM
Thus I say - without ire or insult intended - that men who can't deal with their woman making dancing a career are either insecure or jealous and untrusting or both. I find it amusing and a shame that you (the plural you and Jack specifically) assign those same traits - insecurity and/or distrust - to someone like me, LMAO.
Not really, Almost Jaded. I think you either buy into the traditional notions of a monagomous relationship or you don't.
Traditionally, a relationship means a commitment and exclusivity which requires both parties to keep their hands off people outside the relationship. The exclusivity is allegedly a sign of love, loyalty, honor and respect. Yes, it does have the nature of a possessory interest in each other. My romantic partner possesses certain exclusive rights to my sexuality. If two super-hot girls at a party offer me a three-some, I may be presented with the opportunity to have the best sexual experience of my life. But, my commitment to my romantic partner requires me to sacrifice this experience of a lifetime. Why? Doesn't she want me to be happy and experience all the thrills that life has to offer? Is she being selfish by depriving me of this opportunity for unprecedented joy and ecstacy? What kind of love is that,that deprives you of something so magnificent? But,... that is what we've been brainwashed to accept as "love".
So, if I am in a LTR with a dancer, is it right, for her to say to me, "I don't want you going to SCs and getting lap dances and extras from other women. But, I'm going to continue to provide lap dances, because I'm doing it for money, not pleasure." Is there no value placed on my giving up an immensely pleasurable activity? Why is her money from a sexual activity worth more than my pleasure from a sexual activity? I would not make a distinction,... we should both give up lap dances and extras involving other people...
Alternatively, you can both abandon traditional notions of monogomous relationships - you say, "fuck it, why should either of us deprive the other any immensely pleasurable or financially rewarding sexual experience that may come along" and you become a "free-love" couple or swingers. I am not passing any judgment on this lifestyle, I think its great if it works for you. Some swinger couples are happier and have a more vibrant relationship than traditional monogamous ones.
In fact, I think that, on a purely intellectual level,... the "free love" and/or swinger lifestyle is easier to defend as a "true" and "pure" love because neither party is imposing limits on the other, depriving the other of rewarding sexual experiences, nor acting possessive, jealous and insecure.
Personally,... I have not reached that level of "enlightenment"... I'm stuck being a traditional sort of guy... But, I respect those couples and their lifestyle.
JayATee
06-19-2009, 10:53 AM
How much contact is involved with any women when her SO is not looking? All women are dancers.
Shut up. Operative word is dancer. It has nothing to do with who is watching or who isn't watching. Don't lump me or anyone else in with the extras girls you go see. We've already established what kind of clubs you go to so your opinion is void.
SteveSmith
06-19-2009, 11:45 AM
I know I will ruffle some feathers here, but I think that guys that approve of their LTR girl grinding on other guys fall into one of three categories: (1) cuckold fetishists, who actually get turned on by seeing their girl with other guys, (2) swingers, who are into the wife/GF-swapping lifestyle or (3) guys with low self-esteem who are probably being supported by their dancer GF/wife. If you think your guy is so "special" because he puts up with it, ask yourself who is paying all the bills.
(3) Other guys are totally okay with you being a dancer for the rest of your life. These guys are:
a) Guys that are wired differently, and actually get aroused in situations that would make most men jealous. If they see you giving a guy a lap dance or even providing extras, this turns them on... They see you as a sex godess and love to watch other men sexually worship you. In fact, they might be disillusioned if you give up dancing.
Some of these guys might have a Cuckhold Fetish. I'd think that a lot of guys with this fetish would target dancers for partners as the dancer's job would provide the Cuckhold's fantasy of a cheating SO.
Some of these guys with a Cuckhold fetish may not realize that they have this fetish or are in denial about it. Deep down, the Cuckhold views his SO as a whore and this provides him with the humiliation he craves (his SO being sexual with other men).
Some of these Cuckholds who are in denial then come on stripper forums and repeatedly make the claims of being enlightened, secure in their masculinity, open minded, ...Ad Nauseam, then denounce anyone who doesn't share their secret fetish as insecure, close minded, and having trust issues.
jack0177057
06-19-2009, 12:28 PM
^^^ When I formed these generalized groups, I meant no disrespect to any one of them... If a guy likes to watch his wife or GF with other men and if she likes to be with other men... more power to them... I do think that he would be a good match for a career dancer...
mediocrity
06-19-2009, 01:14 PM
I'm a Biologist and I don't believe you were a candidate. I can't think of any college (outside of online) that would have let you even start the program if they didn't know you would finish and your contempt for Academia would have been rooted out while you pursued a MS, my guess is that no-one would sponsor you.
Ha. Here's to hoping we don't run into each other in the future.
sugartaste
06-19-2009, 01:57 PM
Not really, Almost Jaded. I think you either buy into the traditional notions of a monagomous relationship or you don't.
Is there no value placed on my giving up an immensely pleasurable activity?... Why is her money from a sexual activity worth more than my pleasure from a sexual activity? I would not make a distinction,... we should both give up lap dances and extras involving other people...
.
Actually, there is a big distinction. Money and pleasure are two completely different things..a dancer doesn't dance for pleasure. She does it to support herself (and possibly family), point blank. You cannot compare giving up the opportunity to have a threesome (the HORROR!!!) to a woman having to end her dancing career-and in turn, financial security and autonomy- because of a relationship. Now, if she were to give up dancing and you were to give up YOUR career as a compromise...that's a way better analogy.
You give up your idea of a threesome, and I'll give up on my idea of having an all-male harem service my every desire. But you want me to quit my job?? Not comparable at all.
jack0177057
06-19-2009, 06:58 PM
Actually, there is a big distinction. Money and pleasure are two completely different things..a dancer doesn't dance for pleasure. She does it to support herself (and possibly family), point blank.
That may be true in a few cases, like when a man abandons a woman and child leaving them destitute... and dancing is her only means of survival... But, I don't think all dancers fall into that category.
Would you approve of your husband spending his nights as a male stripper grinding on hundreds of wild and horny women in a club and VIP room? I suspect that most women would not be happy in this situation.
I'll give up on my idea of having an all-male harem service my every desire.
You're naughty...
Golden_Rule
06-19-2009, 07:48 PM
But, I enjoy debating her, she is brilliant and passionate...
Give her a few years experience to season it all and you might truly have something. :)
BTW, if I thought she was anything less than bright I wouldn't go round and round with her as it would be a waste of time. I only pick on people my own size who can take it as well as dish it out.
Post Script: That's a legit compliment tossed JayATee's way, just in case anyone was unsure of my meaning. Not that I think she needs it from the likes of me... which is precisely the point.
Golden_Rule
06-19-2009, 07:54 PM
I'm curious....you are not American, are you?
I'm guessing.....European?
Perhaps first or second generation U.S of one of the cultures listed below.
If European I'd guess Mediterranean. Like Italian, Spanish, Portuguese or Greek. All very big, culturally, on keeping their women at home.
Barring that, Central or South American, due to the heavy influence of Mediterranean culture there.
xdamage
06-19-2009, 08:08 PM
Don't know. I don't think it's super complicated. We all are just trying to do what makes us happy, feel good, and we all use our assets to try to get ahead. We use whatever we have, intelligence, vitality, strength, sex appeal, wealth, etc., to our best advantage in life.
But envy is also part of what drives us. Competition is human nature (a good thing btw) and people can compete by improving themselves relative to others, or by dragging others down to a level where they can feel they are on equal grounds or better. So the person with a lot of wealth, or good looks, or strong sex appeal, or too intelligent, etc., is a kind of threat that makes others around them feel un-comfy.
Dancers of course have sex appeal, an asset that will stir both feelings of desire, and of envy to those who want, but also to those who feel it is a threat. For men, it is a threat for various reasons most of which we men have a hard time facing (since it mostly requires facing our own fears and inadequacies, like the reality that women are just as capable of dropping us for another as we are capable of). But also for other women... dancers can leave them feeling inadequate, unable to compete, and so a turn-off because it means facing some hard truths about themselves as compared with others.
But hey, the very wealthy, and the extremely intelligent, are also often also not particularly well loved by the masses. They are a kind of threat that leaves the average person feeling inadequate.
That said, the value of anything is proportional to its rarity. Sex appeal is a valuable asset, but if sex was given freely, openly, with no restraints, its value would drop and there is a strong tension at play.. for those who want sex but have little sex appeal of their own, cheaper and freer is the goal, but for those who have it in spades, it is not in their own best interest that sex become a thing so common that it has no value. Such is people. We often have mixes of desires whose outcomes are in conflict and must choose among the lesser of compromises.
Is being a stripper a turn on or off? The question is seriously flawed because it is a simple Black or White question, and like most things, the answer is not all or nothing, not simple as choices A or B, and there are tensions at play that leave the answer being a murky blur of turn on for some reasons, turn off for others. Depends on how it effects the person, how much they value exclusivity of sex, does it devalue their own sexual appeal, etc.
Golden_Rule
06-19-2009, 08:10 PM
Thus I say - without ire or insult intended - that men who can't deal with their woman making dancing a career are either insecure or jealous and untrusting or both. I find it amusing and a shame that you (the plural you and Jack specifically) assign those same traits - insecurity and/or distrust - to someone like me, LMAO.
.
Depends on what you mean by the use of the word "deal"?
Like a parent who prefers their child not be gay; not because they have anything against gay people and because they believe in anything less than freedom and equality for every person regardless of sexual orientation, but because they know the world and know that being gay brings with it certain things they would wish their children not have to endure.
I have nothing against sex work. I've been a client of female sex workers, dancers included. While I would support any female friend or family member who made the choice for herself post that decision being made, if she came asking I would advise against it. Why? Because its a choice that brings with it a lot of BS that has to be dealt with. BS I'd suggest to any female friend or family member might not be worth the trade off of good money and self-employment style management of work hours.
IF you truly care about a person you want their life to be easy and with as little grief as possible. Some things bring with it more hard work and more grief than other things. Stripping can be one of these.
While it might not have to be that way, the fact of the matter is that it currently is. So consideration of these issues should be considered by any person making a truly informed decision about stripping for a living AND the advice of anyone who cares for someone making that decision.
JayATee
06-19-2009, 11:20 PM
Give her a few years experience to season it all and you might truly have something. :)
BTW, if I thought she was anything less than bright I wouldn't go round and round with her as it would be a waste of time. I only pick on people my own size who can take it as well as dish it out.
Post Script: That's a legit compliment tossed JayTee's way, just in case anyone was unsure of my meaning. Not that I think she needs it from the likes of me... which is precisely the point.
While I appreciate the compliment... you keep saying this as though I am a child. I really am not that young (though I wish I were) and Im not sure the idea of "seasoning" really holds valid anymore.
Cyril
06-20-2009, 01:39 AM
It was just a simple question.....don't read more into it than intended.
I asked because your value system seems in line with many of my european friends.
I am not a European for sure.
I love baseball and apple pie.
Value system is a dynamic entity. It is not static throughout our life.
Cyril
06-20-2009, 01:44 AM
LoL, you're not a hypocrite? You want your wife to dress up like a stripper and give you lap dances and everything but you wouldn't actually date a stripper. What part of that makes you not a hypocrite?
I don't think it's that we disagree, I think you don't like being called out.
I am OK with my woman giving me a lap dance. I am not OK with her giving lap dances to other men. This does not make me a hypocrite.
I might be tempted to date a stripper if I were not terrified about running into someone I knew (provided I were single). But still I will not be OK with any woman of mine giving lap dances to other men. I do like strippers though. They do strike a cord with me.
JayATee
06-20-2009, 02:14 PM
I am OK with my woman giving me a lap dance. I am not OK with her giving lap dances to other men. This does not make me a hypocrite.
I might be tempted to date a stripper if I were not terrified about running into someone I knew (provided I were single). But still I will not be OK with any woman of mine giving lap dances to other men. I do like strippers though. They do strike a cord with me.
You are a hypocrite. But whatever. At somepoint you'll have to square with what you are, but it's also not my problem.
And you're terrified of running into someone why? Because you're married or because there would be too much shame for you in dating a stripper. If it's the latter you've got considerably bigger issues than I thought.
Cyril
06-20-2009, 04:09 PM
You are a hypocrite. But whatever. At somepoint you'll have to square with what you are, but it's also not my problem.
And you're terrified of running into someone why? Because you're married or because there would be too much shame for you in dating a stripper. If it's the latter you've got considerably bigger issues than I thought.
I have been thinking about this issue since I joined this forum. I think I have made up my mind. No more flip-flops.
I have realized that I have two issues with dating a stripper:
- I do not want to run into someone I know while I am with a stripper
- I will not be able to handle my stripper giving lap dances to other men
But then it got me thinking why I want a stripper to begin with? I want her because she is a stripper. If she is only stripping for me then she is not really a stripper. She is just doing the act. Do I want the real thing? Or, do I want an actress?
I think I want the real thing. So, the solution seems like continuous one nightstands.
God, this thing is not easy.
JayATee
06-20-2009, 04:14 PM
I have been thinking about this issue since I joined this forum. I think I have made up my mind. No more flip-flops.
I have realized that I have two issues with dating a stripper:
- I do not want to run into someone I know while I am with a stripper
- I will not be able to handle my stripper giving lap dances to other men
That leaves only one possibility as far as relationship with a stripper is concerned - one night stand.
Secret one nightstand will ensure that our encounter will remain a secret and it will end before we will form a bond with each other. If we form a bond then I will not be OK with her performing sex related services for other men.
But then it got me thinking why I want a stripper to begin with? I want her because she is a stripper. If she is only stripping for me then she is not really a stripper. She is just doing the act. Do I want the real thing? Or, do I want an actress?
God, this thing is not easy.
Yep, I was right, you have problems far greater than I ever imagined. Why you're even on this forum is beyond me. Get some help.
Cyril
06-20-2009, 04:47 PM
Yep, I was right, you have problems far greater than I ever imagined. Why you're even on this forum is beyond me. Get some help.
We all have problems. I come here because I am fond of strippers.
mediocrity
06-20-2009, 07:34 PM
We all have problems. I come here because I am fond of strippers.
Aren't you the one who's never even been to a strip club?
Cyril
06-20-2009, 09:16 PM
Aren't you the one who's never even been to a strip club?
I have been to strip clubs only a handful of time in my life. My last visit was quite a long time ago.
JayATee
06-21-2009, 02:49 AM
We all have problems. I come here because I am fond of strippers.
You're fond of strippers yet you won't date one unless you could hide it from the world because it would be too devastating to your "social standing" to be caught with one of us. And I'm sorry, we're supposed to take you seriously?? ::)
mediocrity
06-21-2009, 12:41 PM
You're fond of strippers yet you won't date one unless you could hide it from the world because it would be too devastating to your "social standing" to be caught with one of us. And I'm sorry, we're supposed to take you seriously?? ::)
Well said. I'm also hard pressed to figure out why anyone would know a woman was a stripper in every day clothes? My ex's parents never knew, and I saw them fairly frequently. And I doubt people look at me on the street and go OMGZ U KNO SHEZ A STRIPPER!!!
Cyril
06-21-2009, 03:47 PM
I am assuming strippers are easy to spot. But even if it were not the case, people do ask questions. Example: What does she do? How did you two meet?
Then you have to lie. Some people are uncomfortable doing that.
Golden_Rule
06-21-2009, 03:54 PM
While I appreciate the compliment... you keep saying this as though I am a child. I really am not that young (though I wish I were) and Im not sure the idea of "seasoning" really holds valid anymore.
I should point out that the follow is opinion:
When seasoning is a euphemism for experience it certainly holds true.
The reason is that you can take all the book learning in the world but until you pass it though the filter of actual occurrences where that information is tested and a person gets to see how it works in real life situations its all just "potential energy waiting to go kinetic".
I've met very few people under 30 who actually understood that though. Including myself when I was under 30. :)
Very big difference.
Of course the more chance you have for experience the faster this may take place. Dancing can be such a pressure cooker. It does put one in a fishbowl where lots of different life situations take place in relatively short order. It depends on how keen the person on the receiving end wants to soak up the "gravy", so to speak.
In my own case I saw lots of cops, working in environments that were tailor made as a sociology/psychology lab class for anyone willing to learn from it, but they just weren't interested in taking in what was laid out before them. Others got a great deal of WAY over the average experience for someone their age by being exposed to so much and willing to take it all in.
Also, if one is the rare bird that can learn by the "Osmosis Method" it greatly enhances the experience level one can tap into by observing, since that method doesn't require everything actually having to happen to you in order to learn from it. You can learn equally well by observing what happens to others in given circumstances. Like I said, rare though. Most people have to suffer the pain of the "Punch and Learn Method" to gain experience.