View Full Version : "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?
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Earl_the_Pearl
06-24-2009, 06:38 PM
So, why can't you extend the same courtesy to a guy who wants to keep his affair with a stripper secret?
An affair? I would think one would want to keep an affair no matter with who a secret.
Cyril
06-24-2009, 06:40 PM
An affair? I would think one would want to keep an affair no matter with who a secret.
Sorry, that was a wrong choice of word. What I meant was relationship with a stripper. And, I can assure you that was not a Freudian slip. :)
(I had an exhausting day at the work today. I am sort of on autopilot at the moment.)
princessjas
06-24-2009, 06:41 PM
Good point.
So, why can't you extend the same courtesy to a guy who wants to keep his affair with a stripper secret?
Hmm, I can't imagine WHY we might get our feathers ruffled over being treated as people with whom you are ashamed to be associated. ::)
ETA - Quit acting like a moron who doesn't understand that basic fact of human nature. It's getting really damned annoying. Yes, in certain circles we may not want to advertise our dancing, but being treated like trash that has to be hidden away would offend anyone.
Cyril
06-24-2009, 07:21 PM
Hmm, I can't imagine WHY we might get our feathers ruffled over being treated as people with whom you are ashamed to be associated. ::)
ETA - Quit acting like a moron who doesn't understand that basic fact of human nature. It's getting really damned annoying. Yes, in certain circles we may not want to advertise our dancing, but being treated like trash that has to be hidden away would offend anyone.
Once again these are the problem domains:
- You are calling me moron
- You are getting annoyed over a reasonable discourse
- You are assuming that I think strippers are trash
Do you have any idea, how deeply I adore strippers? I have stated this numerous times and I will impress it one more time; I love strippers.
Earl_the_Pearl
06-24-2009, 07:31 PM
Do you have any idea, how deeply I adore strippers? I have stated this numerous times and I will impress it one more time; I love strippers.
You have admitted you don't know any dancers; you love the idea of strippers. On stage they are very much alike but they are different when they are off stage. Well as long as they realize they are off stage.
Cyril
06-24-2009, 07:33 PM
; you love the idea of strippers.
Indeed.
There is a lot of pissiness going on in this thread. Settle down or I will lock it.
FBR
mediocrity
06-24-2009, 09:36 PM
There is a lot of pissiness going on in this thread. Settle down or I will lock it.
FBR
Dude. Please lock it. It makes the baby jesus cry.
stressed
06-24-2009, 09:38 PM
Last edited by mediocrity; Today at 06:40 AM.. Reason: using impassioned language after too many vodka tonics
:D been there done that but never been able to go back and edit.
princessjas
06-24-2009, 09:47 PM
Once again these are the problem domains:
- You are calling me moron
- You are getting annoyed over a reasonable discourse
- You are assuming that I think strippers are trash
Do you have any idea, how deeply I adore strippers? I have stated this numerous times and I will impress it one more time; I love strippers.
1. I don't think telling us...a forum of strippers...that you adore us...but are ashamed of that fact is reasonable.
2. I didn't say you thought strippers were trash, just that you were acting as if we were....and yes, being ashamed to be associated with a group of people implies they are trash or in another way completely unacceptable members or society, which is entirely insulting.
3. I didn't call you a moron, I said you were acting like one by pretending not to understand why any reasonable person would be insulted by your opinions and posts. :P
princessjas
06-24-2009, 09:49 PM
There is a lot of pissiness going on in this thread. Settle down or I will lock it.
FBR
Sorry for any pissiness FBR, I might have had a little too much vodka. ;D I'll step out of the thread for the rest of the night.
Gia2608
06-24-2009, 09:58 PM
context. region. professional setting. age/generation/culture. you need to take these into account when dealing w/ the outside world.
Silly me, I've never even opened this thread before but may I add region is a BIG part of it. When I was in New England it was so taboo to be a dancer (this was beofre the clubs were balls to the wall!), I moved to South Fla. and it's no big deal. No one (really) treats you differently. My neighbors, my ex's family, the few people from school I tell about it don't really give a shit. Actually the more girls I talk to at school, the more I realize how common it is. As far as dating... Only dated 4 guys in the 5 years I've been here and three knew right away, the fourth didn't really have the type of job that was "reported" to the IRS anyway but so is life in the M.I.A.
Gia2608
06-24-2009, 10:00 PM
Dude. Please lock it. It makes the baby jesus cry.
I love you. ha Ha Ha . This makes me think of that SNL skit, circa 1999 with the wailing baby Jesus!
jack0177057
06-25-2009, 08:04 AM
Yes, in certain circles we may not want to advertise our dancing, but being treated like trash that has to be hidden away would offend anyone.
Just curious about this -- would you be equally offended, less offended, or not offended at all in the opposite situation,... if the guy you were dating liked to brag that he was dating a "hot stripper" and told everyone that you were his stripper GF... Thus, treating you like a "trophy" (instead of "trash")...
princessjas
06-25-2009, 09:20 AM
Just curious about this -- would you be equally offended, less offended, or not offended at all in the opposite situation,... if the guy you were dating liked to brag that he was dating a "hot stripper" and told everyone that you were his stripper GF... Thus, treating you like a "trophy" (instead of "trash")...
Equally offended! Being seen as a trophy or nothing but a hot dancer that the guy doesn't even bother to get to know is one of the most offensive things that men do to strippers. You wouldn't define a secretary, accountant or lab tech by her profession. This is why guys who just want to date a stripper piss me off so badly. They don't really want to date ME, they just want any "hot stripper" and could care less about who I am (or their stripper of choice).
On the other hand, if a guy mentioned that I was a stripper sometimes, and just acted like it was another facet of me rather than my only defining characteristic, I wouldn't be offended in the least.
This really isn't rocket science here guys! 8)
stressed
06-25-2009, 09:44 AM
You wouldn't define a secretary, accountant or lab tech by her profession. This is why guys who just want to date a stripper piss me off so badly. They don't really want to date ME, they just want any "hot stripper" and could care less about who I am (or their stripper of choice).
This really isn't rocket science here guys! 8)
I think the last sentence tells it all. First of all i never have been in a position that someone asks what she does. If they do she is right there and can say what she wants. I still do not understand how anyone can date someone just because of their job. What about connection? If i am sharing my life with someone, their better be a hell of a lot more than hotness. Who really wants to be in a relationship like that? It just seems that this part of the equation is so minute to finding that special someone.
If it means that much to someone---it should be changed to fuk a stripper and not date a stripper. I have met some wonderful people out there. I have developed some friendships and yes i met them in a stripclub, but they are so much more than that!!!!!
jack0177057
06-25-2009, 12:26 PM
Equally offended! Being seen as a trophy or nothing but a hot dancer that the guy doesn't even bother to get to know is one of the most offensive things that men do to strippers. You wouldn't define a secretary, accountant or lab tech by her profession. This is why guys who just want to date a stripper piss me off so badly. They don't really want to date ME, they just want any "hot stripper" and could care less about who I am (or their stripper of choice).
On the other hand, if a guy mentioned that I was a stripper sometimes, and just acted like it was another facet of me rather than my only defining characteristic, I wouldn't be offended in the least.
This really isn't rocket science here guys! 8)
I was just curious about which of the two opposite extremes was worst... Sounds like they're both equally distasteful...
johnnytwoshoes
06-25-2009, 02:16 PM
Strippers are like Jelly Bellys. There are a billion flavors and not one is for everyone.
I'd say Stippers are like the flavor of Baby Wipes!
Earl_the_Pearl
06-25-2009, 02:26 PM
I'd say Stippers are like the flavor of Baby Wipes!
In the better clubs perhaps. :razz:
Cyril
06-25-2009, 06:15 PM
1. I don't think telling us...a forum of strippers...that you adore us...but are ashamed of that fact is reasonable.
2. I didn't say you thought strippers were trash, just that you were acting as if we were....and yes, being ashamed to be associated with a group of people implies they are trash or in another way completely unacceptable members or society, which is entirely insulting.
3. I didn't call you a moron, I said you were acting like one by pretending not to understand why any reasonable person would be insulted by your opinions and posts. :P
First of all I am a friend, not an enemy. I have nothing but admiration for strippers. I am not ashamed of hanging out with strippers. I am just worried about the consequences that would ensue if my relationship with a stripper were to surface.
Why is it so difficult to understand that?
^^ If you think about what you said and try to view it from a dancers perspective, you are suggesting that your admiration should be important to them. I doubt that it is nor do I think my admiration if I offered it would be significant either. You are not a friend. You are part of their income stream. You may be a really good customer who tips well, is a gentleman and so forth. You may do all the right things as described in GenWar's rules. But at the end of the day, when you walk out the club door you are forgotten until the next time you show up. This is one of the most difficult things guys have to learn and accept as they become mature customers.
FBR
JayATee
06-25-2009, 07:18 PM
Once again these are the problem domains:
- You are calling me moron
- You are getting annoyed over a reasonable discourse
- You are assuming that I think strippers are trash
Do you have any idea, how deeply I adore strippers? I have stated this numerous times and I will impress it one more time; I love strippers.
You've also stated you expect us to be trash and were surprised by this forum, and that you couldn't be seen with us in public because of the discord it would cause in your life and the detrimental effect it would have to your "social standing" so you're only interested in as many one night stands as you can manage, while you also cheat on your wife in the process.
This adds to the reason you're being called a moron, and the fact that we (dancers) are annoyed with you. I should think this would be apparent.
First of all I am a friend, not an enemy. I have nothing but admiration for strippers. I am not ashamed of hanging out with strippers. I am just worried about the consequences that would ensue if my relationship with a stripper were to surface.
Why is it so difficult to understand that?
How do any of the points above make you a friend? Not only all of those but you're not even a patron of the clubs!
Sorry for any pissiness FBR, I might have had a little too much vodka. ;D I'll step out of the thread for the rest of the night.
Thank you :) You were no more pissy than anyone else. Obviously this thread is on the watch list. Charlie and I appreciate vigorous debate as long as that debate is about the words and ideas and does not move into the area of personal comments. Following those general guidelines will help keep this open.
FBR
Cyril
06-25-2009, 07:53 PM
^^ If you think about what you said and try to view it from a dancers perspective, you are suggesting that your admiration should be important to them. I doubt that it is nor do I think my admiration if I offered it would be significant either. You are not a friend. You are part of their income stream. You may be a really good customer who tips well, is a gentleman and so forth. You may do all the right things as described in GenWar's rules. But at the end of the day, when you walk out the club door you are forgotten until the next time you show up. This is one of the most difficult things guys have to learn and accept as they become mature customers.
FBR
I may have come across in a wrong way but all I was suggesting was, anyone who is so fond of strippers cannot be ashamed of them. I cannot outline what is and what is not important to someone. It is their call entirely. I am a humble person and feeling important is not important to me.
There is a distinction that needs to be realized between someone who is feeling ashamed of his relationship with a stripper and someone who is just being practical and discreet.
JayATee
06-25-2009, 07:59 PM
^ I think you need to pick a point of view and stick to it. You can't say you'd be ashamed to be seen in public with a dancer, and then say you can't possibly be ashamed of us because you love us so much. I mean, was it you, or someone else who has written all those other posts?
Elvia
06-25-2009, 07:59 PM
anyone who is so fond of strippers cannot be ashamed of them.
Not true at all. You just like the idea of using strippers to fulfill a shallow fantasy.
Cyril
06-25-2009, 08:05 PM
^ I think you need to pick a point of view and stick to it. You can't say you'd be ashamed to be seen in public with a dancer, and then say you can't possibly be ashamed of us because you love us so much. I mean, was it you, or someone else who has written all those other posts?
I am sticking to a point of view. I would like to keep it under the surface even though I adore strippers.
I personally have no problem with strippers. I would like however to see a world, where everyone were like me but alas that is not the case.
Elvia
06-25-2009, 08:08 PM
^^^ Excuse me, but aren't you out to cheat on your wife anyway?? I guess you don't feel the need to be discreet about committing adultery with non-sex industry affiliated women, huh?
Cyril
06-25-2009, 08:10 PM
The said relationship will only be possible if I were single. That would be my intention. But we are all mere mortals. And who knows what will happen tomorrow?
Cyril
06-25-2009, 08:21 PM
Not true at all. You just like the idea of using strippers to fulfill a shallow fantasy.
It does not make sense. You are the one person who should have no problem with fantasies. Are you not in the business of selling fantasy?
What is wrong with a fantasy? Fantasies are part of being human.
JayATee
06-25-2009, 08:30 PM
I am sticking to a point of view. I would like to keep it under the surface even though I adore strippers.
I personally have no problem with strippers. I would like however to see a world, where everyone were like me but alas that is not the case.
Like I've stated before, you're a hypocrite. Go back and read any one of your posts. There's no possible way you can say you're sticking to one side and that you have no problems with dancers.
The said relationship will only be possible if I were single. That would be my intention. But we are all mere mortals. And who knows what will happen tomorrow?
Oh god... I think Im going to throw up.
Cyril
06-25-2009, 08:37 PM
Like I've stated before, you're a hypocrite. Go back and read any one of your posts. There's no possible way you can say you're sticking to one side and that you have no problems with dancers.
Oh god... I think Im going to throw up.
You judge too quickly. We just have to agree to disagree because last thing I want to do is make strippers mad.
JayATee
06-25-2009, 08:38 PM
No, I judge based on your plentiful posts about your feelings and ideas about strippers. Go back and re-read some.
Cyril
06-25-2009, 08:41 PM
To the best of my knowledge, I have never said anything bad about strippers.
Almost Jaded
06-25-2009, 11:38 PM
And there it is - you really don't see it. The hypocrisy. You don't think you've said anything bad, and you mean it when you say you're "fond" of strippers, don't want to offend "them", etc. I see and actually understand your POV, twisted as I recognize it to be, re keeping it "discreet" being different than being ashamed, etc.
You need to realize that that IS offensive to most of the women (and some of the men) on these boards. Insofar as wishing the world was not so judgmental, you're on the right track. Caving to the fact that the world IS such, and going along with it, and claiming that that's not disrespecting these people, is where you jump the tracks. The fact that the world is that way is offensive, and since you - regretfully or not - go along with that, you are part of the problem, and every bit as insensitive and close minded as the rest when viewed from a dancers perspective - or indeed, from anyone's POV who doesn't buy into that "worlds view" and respects people for their individual merit regardless of their chosen occupation.
Until you see that and "pick a side", you will never garner the respect of the "other side". The old "if you aren't part of the solution you're part of the problem" thing.
princessjas
06-26-2009, 08:40 AM
It does not make sense. You are the one person who should have no problem with fantasies. Are you not in the business of selling fantasy?
What is wrong with a fantasy? Fantasies are part of being human.
Fastansies are perfectly harmless and very healthy. It is when you start using or hurting others to fullfill those fantasies that it becomes a problem.
Using a stripper to fullfill your fantasy while being ashamed of any relationship would OBVIOUSLY be hurtful for the person involved. Strippers are human beings with actual feelings, not blow up dolls to be used for your personal amusement/enjoyment. Come to the clubs, pay us well, and you may treat us as disposable playthings for the evening, you can't treat someone you want a relationship that way.
(You have now said you are not ashamed of strippers, but aren't you the one that stated you wanted a string of one night stands because you were too ashamed to actually be seen in public with a dancer? ::) You seem to assume we are going to go to dinner wearing a t-bar and plats, annoncing to everyone "I'm a stripper. Free lapdances for everyone!" )
I've said it before but will repeat for the truly dense. This is not rocket science. It is basic human nature. No one wants to be seen as something to be ashamed of or hidden away. It is damned insulting! :O
bem401
06-26-2009, 09:12 AM
To the best of my knowledge, I have never said anything bad about strippers.
Saying something bad about them, saying something good about them, saying anything at all about them because they are strippers is not a good idea. The dancers I am friendly with don't want to be defined (for better or worse) by their choice of occupation.
princessjas
06-26-2009, 09:16 AM
Saying something bad about them, saying something good about them, saying anything at all about them because they are strippers is not a good idea. Most of the dancers I am friendly with don't want to be defined (for better or worse) by their choice of occupation.
Well said. Couldn't agree with this more!!
A guy that actually listens to strippers and sees them as people first...I was beginning to think those no longer existed. ;D
mediocrity
06-26-2009, 11:12 AM
I am sticking to a point of view. I would like to keep it under the surface even though I adore strippers.
I personally have no problem with strippers. I would like however to see a world, where everyone were like me but alas that is not the case.
WHY do you "adore" strippers? What is the basis of the fantasy that makes them superior to other women, yet inferior at the same time? Is it a fetish or something?
Elvia
06-26-2009, 12:39 PM
It does not make sense. You are the one person who should have no problem with fantasies. Are you not in the business of selling fantasy?
What is wrong with a fantasy? Fantasies are part of being human.
The fantasy I sell is quite different. I spend time, flirt, and dance naked, in the club, in exchange for something-money. I am not in the business of accepting dates with men who have no interest in me besides the ego boost of bagging a stripper, who at the same time feel they need to limit their relationship with me to clandestine fucking because they couldn't possibly handle the shame of openly dating me. As has been said, for you to have any fantasy you want in your head is fine. But, contrary to what you seem to believe, I was not put on this Earth to spend my free time fulfilling these fantasies. The men I choose to spend my time with outside the club understand this. And they don't treat me like I'm a dirty little secret.
JayATee
06-26-2009, 12:46 PM
To the best of my knowledge, I have never said anything bad about strippers.
I think Im officially done... nothing anyone says is going to make you see your behavior. I personally have re-listed your posts for you let alone what the other girls have said. You've been incredibly insulting since you first showed up and I find it hard to believe that you're really this blind to it and at this point I think you are saying these things just to get ppl to respond. If that's the case than more power to you, but Im done being one of them.
mediocrity
06-26-2009, 01:33 PM
And why did everyone get pissy when I essentially said this dude was either naive or an idiot?
JayATee
06-26-2009, 02:55 PM
^I've said the same thing several times in several threads at this point.
Cyril
06-26-2009, 07:21 PM
Strippers are human beings with actual feelings, not blow up dolls to be used for your personal amusement/enjoyment. Come to the clubs, pay us well, and you may treat us as disposable playthings for the evening, you can't treat someone you want a relationship that way.
I agree with above paragraph. I have never said anything contrary to that, at least I did not intend to.
As far as rest of your post goes, I do not agree with you or at least I fail to see the logic behind it.
- How is my fantasy not healthy? (Keep in mind; we are all in agreement that no cheating should be involved. So, there is no need to beat the dead horse.)
- I am not ashamed of being with a stripper. I just would like to keep it a secret
- I also might be a bit jealous if she continues to give lap dances to other men.
- If you are a stripper, you should be proud of your profession. But if you have a need to be discreet about it, I understand that. I am just asking that you extend the same courtesy to the guy you are with.
Cyril
06-26-2009, 07:26 PM
Saying something bad about them, saying something good about them, saying anything at all about them because they are strippers is not a good idea. The dancers I am friendly with don't want to be defined (for better or worse) by their choice of occupation.
They could have said that in the beginning and I would have ended my involvement in this thread long time ago.
How am I supposed to know that strippers do not like anything (good or bad ) said about them? The bad part I can understand. But the point is I have not said anything bad about them.
Almost Jaded
06-26-2009, 11:12 PM
He's going back... He's under the ball... Going... Going... Aaaaaaannnd...
He misses it.
Strippers - just like anyone else - don't like having anything said about them that stereotypes or classifies them based solely on their profession.
Strippers are just like anyone else, with a job. The fact that the world - and you're right there with it Cyril - stigmatizes and "classifies" these (primarily) women based solely on their profession is the core issue here.
- "I am not ashamed of being with a stripper. I just would like to keep it a secret." - ?!?!?!?!!!!!?!?!?!!?!?!! Really?!?!?!?! I mean - REALLY?!?!?!?!???!!!?!?!?!!!???!!?!???
I don't even know what to say to that, read above ten times until it sinks in, man. Seriously.
Golden_Rule
06-26-2009, 11:50 PM
BTW - It appears you do not need us, so if you're just going to post arguments with yourself can you keep it private like the other things you do with yourself? :D
That was uncharacteristically rude and obnoxious of you. [What, you having a bad when you posted this?]
May I also suggest a reading comprehension course as there was nothing in that post that suggesting I was making point/counter-point with myself.
::)
Golden_Rule
06-26-2009, 11:56 PM
I'm on this forum because I am at work, sitting in my office and reviewing dry and voluminous legal documents... and I need some comic relief... I do not spend my "free" time on this forum...
Well here I have to agree with you to a degree.
I work from home, when I choose to work, and it involves dry, boilerplate, sort of sort of stuff. Setting up training systems, overviews, security policy, etc. So while I wouldn't call SW comic relief it is vastly different then what I am working on so it provides a break when that becomes too much. So a few minutes on SW and going back to the wonk work is bearable. :)
Golden_Rule
06-27-2009, 12:07 AM
Would you suddenly stop performing at work because you were dating a stripper? I mean, let's be realistic here. Why would your boss suddenly lose faith in you exactly? How is it image ruining to be dating a beautiful, strong, independant woman? Explain this to me please. I'm quite curious.
Ok, its comments like this where I again have to express a surprise at your naivete.
While you and I would almost certainly agree it shouldn't be the case you have to acknowledge that stripping has a social stigmata, particularly in certain social circles.
Say you were a partner in a law firm of high prestige that dealt with many clients that were "old money". You are in your mid-forties, legitimately single, and it is found that you are dating a stripper in her early 30's.
Now the fact that you are dating someone 12 years or so your junior might get a blink but "trophy" girl-friends and wives are not unheard of in that circle so dating much younger women is not a problem. However the knowledge that you were dating a stripper would raise many eyebrows and cause concern regarding your judgment.
That is simply the way things work in that particular environment. Again, we'd probably agree that it shouldn't be the case, but we'd be foolish not to admit its existence.
Golden_Rule
06-27-2009, 12:34 AM
I guess if you are running for public office or in a career where everyone's nose is in everyone's business, who you are seeing matters... but otherwise, honestly, most people don't give a shit. And if they do talk, so what? blah blah blah ... and within a few days it is old news, and their attention is side tracked on to some other hot bit of news of the moment. It is a just a big boogey man because really, people's interest in scandal barely last a day, maybe a week before they are bored and move on.
Et tu, Brute? :)
Waging tongues can do a lot of damage, on every social level. You want to start tongues waging; date a stripper, bring her into your social group and let the non-stripping women start flapping their gums when they find out. All of a sudden the men folk in your social circle aren't allowed to play with you any more because their wives and girl-friends don't want them hanging out with the guy whose dating a stripper.
Many guys in order to preserve peace and harmony in their relationships will back down on matters such as these almost all the time.
When I was younger BTDT, got the tee-shirt. Twice. Years apart. Same result both times. A loss of male friends who had non-stripping girl-friends and wives. Everyone, to a man, saying when pressed on it that it was because their S.O.'s were giving them grief about hanging around a friend who had strippers [his lady and her friends] close by.