View Full Version : Can't stop getting high
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:29 PM
nevermind...feel free to reply, I know yall dont understand because I cant express myself properly...I know.
My car being broke into and my brand new fucking 300 dollar camera being stole is a big deal, believe it or not. I dont feel safe in this town. I feel like some one could just walk into my apartment and rape and torture me anytime they wanted, I'm sorry that scares me. I cant help that the city I live in pairs you up with room mates you dont even know....yha I'm fucking scared.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:29 PM
& from a drug site
ladder=2mg; 2 bars=1 ladder
bar=1mg; 2 footballs=1bar
football=0.5mg; 2 triangles=1 football
triangle=0.25mg
virgoamm
05-13-2008, 07:31 PM
Joplin, I want you took take a long look at what you wrote earlier today in your consultation thread. That, combined with this thread is very worrisome in my mind. Please take care of yourself and get some help.
Well I went to my consult yesterday. I admit I was bar-ed out of my mind on xanax (didn't mean to be) so I wasn't excited about anything. I didn't have anything to say.
I still don't besides that they didn't have sizers but a machine that supposed to show how you looked with the implants. He said that 390cc would get me were I wanted to go, but I think he thought that I just wanted to be as big as I could go...I dont know I was so high, honestly I'm still fucking high and am going to go drink a glass of water so I don't dehydrate and die and then knock myself out again.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:31 PM
Sooo...hospital time coming off this stuff?
No not really. I was on 2mgs a day scripted to me. I switched Dr's one who doesn't speak great english and she put me on 1 .25 a day. the first 3 days were HELL. I had a lot of issues. But now I've taken 4 a day ( 1mg) to combat the intense anxiety and withdrawal. tomorrow I will go in and see to get my actual script. She seriously didn't understand what I was talking about. I was on it 2mgs a day for 8 months almost. I had withdrawals but the most I had was feeling like I had vertigo and shitting constantly. Just medicine head. But I wasn't taking 5mgs and drinking either.
Samba
05-13-2008, 07:32 PM
I just want to let you know when I was driving I wasn't HIGH i was on xanax but just zoned out like I'm supposed to be. I was endangering people. I swear.
Where do you draw the line between "zoned out" and high?
I am in no position to judge you Joplin. I've been there. I know what it's like to have nothing to look forward to but the next time I could get loaded. There's really nothing I can say to you that you won't see for yourself when you read this thread when you're sober.
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 07:33 PM
nevermind...feel free to reply, I know yall dont understand because I cant express myself properly...I know.
My car being broke into and my brand new fucking 300 dollar camera being stole is a big deal, believe it or not. I dont feel safe in this town. I feel like some one could just walk into my apartment and rape and torture me anytime they wanted, I'm sorry that scares me. I cant help that the city I live in pairs you up with room mates you dont even know....yha I'm fucking scared.
That is scary, but you need to move, not get high. I'm sorry but justifying in really is a huge sign of addiction.
britt244
05-13-2008, 07:33 PM
& from a drug site
ladder=2mg; 2 bars=1 ladder
bar=1mg; 2 footballs=1bar
football=0.5mg; 2 triangles=1 football
triangle=0.25mg
um.. i certainly hope theyre not talking shape there. my .25mg pills werent triangles. you CAN get bars that are a higher dose than that, too.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:33 PM
Agreed Samba.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:34 PM
um.. i certainly hope theyre not talking shape there. my .25mg pills werent triangles. you CAN get bars that are a higher dose than that, too.
yeah my .25's dont look like triangles. I'm assuming this is with it not being a generic which is what I have. BUT I have heard them called that. Just putting up info.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:35 PM
I normally dont drink I'm just drinking now because I'm tired of sleeping.
I dont know about all that "ladder" or whatever stuff...seriously I've never taken illegal drugs besides weed, I dont know about what all that shit means
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:37 PM
Okay here's a link to photos
Mine do NOT look like that (my bars did)
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 07:38 PM
I normally dont drink I'm just drinking now because I'm tired of sleeping.
I dont know about all that "ladder" or whatever stuff...seriously I've never taken illegal drugs besides weed, I dont know about what all that shit means
Alcohol is a depressant. You will sleep more in the long run. And it can cause things like death, or your friends having visit you in the hospital while you throw up charcoal. Gross, but I have been there when a friend decided that valium + whisky + some other crap was a good idea.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:39 PM
mine dont look like any of those
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:40 PM
well I have no more to drink...so no reason to worry...
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:42 PM
When we found my car after the drug dealer stole it, it was wired with the fans around the car with new wires attached to the battery. A headlight was missing, it was chained to a tree and I had a new grill.
You're being about as logical as that.
kitana
05-13-2008, 07:44 PM
I know i abuse stuff but its not all the time. I go monthes without drinking and ten go on binges, same with xanac so it's not tat big of deal, tis is just a bad month, the break in has got me feeling so insecure.
Yes, I will be the cunt here.
It IS a big fucking deal, you are ABUSING prescription medication. You are a fucking JUNKIE.>:(
I take Xanax daily. 2X0.50mg (1mg daily as needed) as a mantainance dose, and if a panic attack insues I am allowed a full 1mg extra to cope with it. (which amounts to 10 extra pills monthly if needed).
It's people like YOU that make people like me have a hard time getting meds we need. >:( I don't abuse my meds, I take them as my Dr, told me to, to control my condition. I don't take them daily, nor do I take more than I need. In fact, I was supposed to fill my script for this month a few days ago, but didn't since I have over 1/2 a bottle left and don't need them yet.
You aren't even supposta take more than 2-5mg/daily until your Dr. would try a different med to control your anxiety. Xanax is meant to be a temp fix, in addition to therapy and counseling, not a fucking band-aid nor a fix for junkies. Medications that can help long term anxiety sufferers are: Klonipin, Valium, and Ativan; those will help in the long run.
Go check yourself into the ER ASAFP, you need help and more than what you think you are getting in a pill bottle.
zxcire
05-13-2008, 07:45 PM
Joplin, please take care of yourself. It sounds like you are having a tough time right now. Remember that there are people who care about you and love you and don't want to see you self destruct.
If you do read this over when you sober up, and you decide you want to help yourself, feel free to PM me. I feel for you.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:45 PM
yes because I'm stealing cars...
I'm just laying on my own damn bed...
cutey5032
05-13-2008, 07:46 PM
OMG Xanax is so dangerous esp when combined with drinking. Usually I'm all about the recreational drug use, but I have to say when I took Xanax (only one time too) that was a night I don't remember ANYTHING. That shit IS dangerous. I can't even fathom taking 20 of those pills.
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:46 PM
yes because I'm stealing cars...
I'm just laying on my own damn bed...
You missed the point by a freaking continent.
head turner
05-13-2008, 07:46 PM
If you truly believe you arent an addict maybe you should discuss your xanax usage with your doc. It can be addictive, and your doctor can give you better, safer options. Your brother died from the same drug you are misusing. Do you think if he could see you now,he would be ok with it?
I think the post itself is a little cry for help. Please get help. You are gorgeous and seem like a pretty sweet girl. It would be an absolute shame for something to happen to you without seeing the bettrer chapters in your life.
MissDewdrop
05-13-2008, 07:47 PM
Be careful, girl. The prob is that you're not taking the stuff as prescribed by your doc. He/she meant you to take a specific dosage at specific times, not all together. I was scripted this stuff before (2mg/day) and was fine, no withdrawals or anything when I stopped. However, the one time I drank with it I blacked out at work and woke up six hours later. If my friends hadn't stayed with me and watched me, something really bad could have happened. The fact you're blacking out means that your dosage is either too high or augmented by the alcohol.
I was lucky in that my biochemistry works well with benzos. You might now have any withdrawal or tolerance issues, but you have to tell your doc so she can monitor you safely. Some people, though rarely, have seizures when going off or dropping their doses. If you're taking 20 at a time, you're burning through your script. What happens when you run out and you're one of those people who w/d's? Please be careful and take care of yourself.
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 07:48 PM
yes because I'm stealing cars...
I'm just laying on my own damn bed...
No, because you're justifying pill abuse. Sorry but it's tough love here at SW. Just read the stuff you've posted. Half of it makes no sense, the rest of it is scary to people who care!
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:49 PM
Ive been though extensive therapy and none of it has helped. I'm not making it harder for anyone to get xanax...get over yourself. I dont take it for several days and then "catch up" all in one day...that effects no one but me. It's not like I go to my doctor begging for more....
TheSexKitten
05-13-2008, 07:50 PM
It's not like I go to my doctor begging for more....
::)
When you post a thread titled "I can't stop getting high," you're going to get some assumptions that you're addicted.
Why would you make a thread like this only to negate everything everyone says?
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:50 PM
I think the moral of this thread is everyone is just wanting to see the best happen for you.
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:50 PM
Ive been though extensive therapy and none of it has helped. I'm not making it harder for anyone to get xanax...get over yourself. I dont take it for several days and then "catch up" all in one day...that effects no one but me. It's not like I go to my doctor begging for more....
Yes you are! People like you are the ones that make people who DONT ABUSE THEM LIKE ME get told 'No, because you might be an addict!' when I've had ONE this month. ONE.
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:51 PM
::)
When you post a thread titled "I can't stop getting high," you're going to get some assumptions that you're addicted.
Why would you make a thread like this only to negate everything everyone says?
Cause she's a junkie.
And I was quoted, awesome.
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 07:52 PM
Ive been though extensive therapy and none of it has helped. I'm not making it harder for anyone to get xanax...get over yourself. I dont take it for several days and then "catch up" all in one day...that effects no one but me. It's not like I go to my doctor begging for more....
When you run out early because you took 20 at once and are having withdrwal symptoms, which is LIKELY, yes it does effect others. Reread this:
If you truly believe you arent an addict maybe you should discuss your xanax usage with your doc. It can be addictive, and your doctor can give you better, safer options. Your brother died from the same drug you are misusing. Do you think if he was still alive he would be ok with it?
Do you think if you called the doc or an emergency line and said 'I took 20 of these, is that cool? Can I get more?' they'd just fax the script over to the drugstore?
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:52 PM
no one knows i take them like I do but yall and my BF...It's not like I tell my doc I "abuse" them...
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:53 PM
....that makes it better. It's okay now.
Alaska
05-13-2008, 07:53 PM
nevermind...feel free to reply, I know yall dont understand because I cant express myself properly...I know.
My car being broke into and my brand new fucking 300 dollar camera being stole is a big deal, believe it or not. I dont feel safe in this town. I feel like some one could just walk into my apartment and rape and torture me anytime they wanted, I'm sorry that scares me. I cant help that the city I live in pairs you up with room mates you dont even know....yha I'm fucking scared.
I think it's the rare person this shit has NOT happened to at any point in our young lives.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 07:53 PM
I'm not a junkie, I wouldn't call in asking for more...
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:54 PM
I think it's the rare person this shit has NOT happened to at any point in our young lives.
DUDE don't I know it.
$300 cameras can be replaced. I'd like to say the same about your life.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 07:54 PM
Im checking out of this thread
I think it's selfish Joplin because most of everyone is going to wake up tomorrow chcking this board to see if you woke up. And that's fucked
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 07:55 PM
I'm not a junkie, I wouldn't call in asking for more...
...yeah that's what makes someone not a junkie.
S'cool. You're cool now. I totally get it. Do your drugs. You're okay to do them now, afterall you have AWESOME reasons and you won't tell your doctor and you don't ask for more, you only binge. That's not a problem.
kitana
05-13-2008, 07:57 PM
No not really. I was on 2mgs a day scripted to me. I switched Dr's one who doesn't speak great english and she put me on 1 .25 a day. the first 3 days were HELL. I had a lot of issues. But now I've taken 4 a day ( 1mg) to combat the intense anxiety and withdrawal. tomorrow I will go in and see to get my actual script. She seriously didn't understand what I was talking about. I was on it 2mgs a day for 8 months almost. I had withdrawals but the most I had was feeling like I had vertigo and shitting constantly. Just medicine head. But I wasn't taking 5mgs and drinking either.
Better you than me sister!
My Dr. wanted to give me 1mg daily twice a day and I did it for 1 day, and called in the next day for a lower dose, lol. It ZONKED me the slick out and I slept for 16hrs straight, lol. Not doing that again! ;)
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:00 PM
I use it to sleep. It's safer for me than Ambien since I don't seem to ever fall directly asleep on it. I am NOW with this issue taking it as I need it through the day which I don't like. I rather take it after work, go to bed and sleep blissfully. I have my panic attacks happen at bed time. Fucking night terrors.
nevermind...feel free to reply, I know yall dont understand because I cant express myself properly...I know.
My car being broke into and my brand new fucking 300 dollar camera being stole is a big deal, believe it or not. I dont feel safe in this town. I feel like some one could just walk into my apartment and rape and torture me anytime they wanted, I'm sorry that scares me. I cant help that the city I live in pairs you up with room mates you dont even know....yha I'm fucking scared.
At THIS point, I would be more afraid of what YOU are going to do to yourself.
Please get some help.
kitana
05-13-2008, 08:03 PM
Ive been though extensive therapy and none of it has helped. I'm not making it harder for anyone to get xanax...get over yourself. I dont take it for several days and then "catch up" all in one day...that effects no one but me. It's not like I go to my doctor begging for more....
Oh whatever, say whatever you want to make yourself look less like a pillhead.::)
Junkies that ABUSE scripts are making it hard for everyone that does need them (and uses them correctly) to get them, that's a fact. A Dr. sees people like you taking 20 pills a DAY, then doesn't want a fucking lawsuit from someone else when they ask for the same pills, cause they think the person will do the same thing you are doing.
Oh and FYI, you get the fuck over yourself, I'm not the one talking about barring up and driving zoned out on xanax and liquor. >:(
Samba
05-13-2008, 08:04 PM
well im not suppoesed to take 20 obviously, but it's fine it equals out to 5mgs which is fine, im supposed to take like 4 a day but i dont so i can take them all at one
You aren't taking the correct dose.
my percription os .25
but 3 months worth and once the 3 months is up and i need a new perception im gonna get .50
i relaly do need xanax or id kill my self, obviously not this much but I NEED it, so 20 is just 5mgs which is the highest dose they give so its fine.
my brother died on xanax and it makes me feel bad to take but, i doesnt change thenings, i have to have it.
There is a difference between the highest dose they give, and the dose you are given.
I think i honestl.y want to be flamed so some time when im not fucked up i cant read it and realied how idiotic im being. but right now im just so fucked i cant even thin k.
I know i abuse stuff.
Then why are you being so defensive? It's not like you tell your doc you "abuse" them? Pill heads never think they are dope fiends. But look at what you wrote.
kitana
05-13-2008, 08:05 PM
Yes you are! People like you are the ones that make people who DONT ABUSE THEM LIKE ME get told 'No, because you might be an addict!' when I've had ONE this month. ONE.
Exactly!
Listen to us heebs, we know our shit, lol! :D;)
Personally, I've only had 3mg this month (6 pills), and my script calls for me taking 26 pills already (13mg), so who's abusing what again?
Yes you are! People like you are the ones that make people who DONT ABUSE THEM LIKE ME get told 'No, because you might be an addict!' when I've had ONE this month. ONE.
This is EXACTLY what happened to me.
I got told NO because its "highly addicting". Yet it seems that every other person on the planet can get it.
Starfire
05-13-2008, 08:06 PM
Joplin perhaps when your boyfriend gets home you can tell him all the things you've told us random people on the internet and then have him take you to the hospital. What you are doing to yourself right now is extremely dangerous.
KamrynAnne
05-13-2008, 08:08 PM
i hope you get help... before its too late and you never wake up.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:09 PM
I have night terrors and will hit and try to beat people up too, which is another reason I'm on xanax besides the anxiety that I have during the day. Thats why I hit my BF at night because I thought it was this chick who was bitching at me in my dream about being to close behind her and I told her to shut the fuck up and move over if she didnt want be behing her and she dind and then grabbed on to my backpack and I hit her...but I also did it in rela life and happened to hit my BF, but it wasn't intentional.
I SERIOUSLY have never drank and done xanax at the same time before now, b ut I don't think yall realize how vulnerable I feel...
kitana
05-13-2008, 08:09 PM
I'm not a junkie, I wouldn't call in asking for more...
So what are you going to do when you burn through your current legal supply, and have a panic attack a few days later? Will you call your Dr. then, or just buy them off the street?
I hate to say it, but your SN is almost fitting, considering Janice died of an OD, but her's was heroin and liquor, not xanax and liquor like yours is.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:12 PM
* I wanna not respond but argh *
Night terrors, if this is why you are taking xanax means you HAVE to take it nightly prior to bed. Not during the day, not while you are drinking etc.
And from the wording in the post I assumed you had taken a lot of xanax that night and then freaked out. It made no sense.
Either way you are drinking on it so there for you are ABUSING IT
and just like everyone else that's posted, it's hard as hell to build trust and get your meds, when you are a) self pay and b) a stripper
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:13 PM
PS: There is no excuse for acting in self destructive behavior.
More than a few in this thread have battled addictions and we know what we are talking about. One day you will too.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:13 PM
Oh whatever, say whatever you want to make yourself look less like a pillhead.::)
Junkies that ABUSE scripts are making it hard for everyone that does need them (and uses them correctly) to get them, that's a fact. A Dr. sees people like you taking 20 pills a DAY, then doesn't want a fucking lawsuit from someone else when they ask for the same pills, cause they think the person will do the same thing you are doing.
Oh and FYI, you get the fuck over yourself, I'm not the one talking about barring up and driving zoned out on xanax and liquor. >:(
My doctor never sees me take 20 pills a day. It's not like I use it all at once and beg im for more. If I run out then...well I run out, tough shit. I'm not about to tell my doctor I need more...I'm not making it harder for anyone....I don't understand why no one gets that.
If I run out then I wait till it is time to pick up my new prescription...h doesn't know I take more than I'm supposed to a day, it effect NO ONE but me!