View Full Version : Can't stop getting high
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 08:14 PM
Cool. That makes everything okay. This entire thread is all about justifying why you're happy being an addict, I get that. So here. Justification. Do the words feel as good as you'd hoped?
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:15 PM
AND YOU are apart of a FAMILY, You have Friends it's more than about YOU.
Selfish ass you are being.
And for being so high as you claim, your posts are getting more coherent as we go...hum
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:15 PM
sure. I guess they do....
kitana
05-13-2008, 08:17 PM
My doctor never sees me take 20 pills a day. It's not like I use it all at once and beg im for more. If I run out then...well I run out, tough shit. I'm not about to tell my doctor I need more...I'm not making it harder for anyone....I don't understand why no one gets that.
If I run out then I wait till it is time to pick up my new prescription...h doesn't know I take more than I'm supposed to a day, it effect NO ONE but me!
You went to your appt pilled up! How is that NOT being ignorant?!
I am done with this thread, it's pissing me the fuck off that you are excusing your junkie, pill head, addiction to xanax. I am gunna go watch TV or play Runescape for a while, I can't and refuse to be your voice of reason, since you obviously don't give a FUCK about anything including yourself right now.
Good Luck waking up in the morning.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:18 PM
AND YOU are apart of a FAMILY, You have Friends it's more than about YOU.
Selfish ass you are being.
And for being so high as you claim, your posts are getting more coherent as we go...hum
is that bad...it's probably because I fucking ran out of alcohol like I said I did a long ass time ago...unfortunately I'm not as fucked up as I was before.
so I go drink more....::)
^^^ Real cute.
Do you see that what you are doing is destructive, or are you in that much of denial?
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 08:19 PM
And for being so high as you claim, your posts are getting more coherent as we go...hum
Thank freaking god. Maybe all this crankiness is her coming down.
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 08:19 PM
A long ass time ago was about half an hour.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:23 PM
Thank you.
I'm telling you that much xanax plus drinking does NOT sober you up in an hour.
WTF ever.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:24 PM
actually I don't have friends. Yes I have a family but my brother would care if I died. My parents would be crushed. My moms so drunk all the time anyways...Every one would get over it if I died, even though I'm not going to.
RoseLeigh
05-13-2008, 08:25 PM
I'm so out of this thread. Joplin I hope you get help for whatever is going on.
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 08:26 PM
Oooooh ATTENTION. I get it.
See ya.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:27 PM
Thank you.
I'm telling you that much xanax plus drinking does NOT sober you up in an hour.
WTF ever.
well actually i took like 10 or 12 or last night then took 4 right before i made my consultation post and fel asleep till american idol came on...so the last time i took alot was last night, fyi
beauty21queen
05-13-2008, 08:27 PM
And this is why I have problems getting the medication I NEED Im so tired of people like this .
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:27 PM
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/emo%20emu%20jared%20hindman.jpg
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:28 PM
yha I'm craving attention...especially from you....dont flatter yourself
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:29 PM
how am I being emo?
My brother honestly would not give a shit about me...He hates me...
and I said my parents would be crushed,...
And I said I wasn't going to doe, how is that emo?
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:31 PM
Because you are sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and being useless rather that proactive. And it's for more appropriate than the drama Llama
BrunetteGoddess
05-13-2008, 08:34 PM
You don't want attention? Then what is this fucking thread for?
Why don't you GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF. Take your own advice! Stop being a selfish little girl and a bitch to the people who care!
>:(
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:35 PM
I'm feeling sorry for myself being scared that I'm going to get raped?
You know becuase I get an e-mail once every couple of weeks talking about how there was an attempted rape/assault of a female on campus...soooo selfish
TheSexKitten
05-13-2008, 08:35 PM
You are making no sense. You have a serious victim mentality... :-\
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:37 PM
Well honeslt I dont know anyone besides my bf ad my parents...not the most unbias people to talk to, so I thought I WAS talking to people who care... I guess not.
I haven't taken anything else BECAUSE I've been reading this thread, but if yall don't care then whaever, later....
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:38 PM
No but WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO FIX THE SITUATION? Nothing. Run scared chicken little the sky is falling.
Get your shit together, you are a grown ass woman. I live in a big ass city with people literally shooting each other all around the place,rapists etc. you aren't in the only city in the country with this issue.
But by being high on xanax ..drunk and not in complete control of yourself, you are making yourself more prone to being a victim than anything else.
But by being high on xanax ..drunk and not in complete control of yourself, you are making yourself more prone to being a victim than anything else.
Exactly.
BrunetteGoddess
05-13-2008, 08:40 PM
WTFever Joplin. You just confirmed that all you want is attention here.
I too live in a city that has a lot of crime. And I reside in a not so nice part. But you don't see me highing myself up so it's EASY to victimize me.
virgoamm
05-13-2008, 08:43 PM
I thought I WAS talking to people who care... I guess not.
That's where you're wrong. You ARE talking to people who care. The thread only started going downhill when you wouldn't listen to anything that was being said to try and help you and you were continually justifying what you're doing to yourself. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. That's why so many of us are frustrated.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:43 PM
....I didn't want attention....?
That wasn't my point at all. I'm not sure what my piont is but it wasn't to "get attention"....I guess I need to walkaway?
I don't know....but okay, I'll leave for a while.
And by leave I mean still signed on to read therad but not repsonnd, anyone have a problem with that?
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:46 PM
I do hear the people who don't call me an "addict", which I'm not whih is why I havent taken any more xanax even though I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY want too. Because I really do care, it just seems like people are quick to think the worst of me which isn't true, and don't realize that I AM taking what some of yall are saying to heart.
Lysondra
05-13-2008, 08:46 PM
I do hear the people who don't call me an "addict", which I'm not whih is why I havent taken any more xanax even though I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY want too. Because I really do care, it just seems like people are quick to think the worst of me which isn't true, and don't realize that I AM taking what some of yall are saying to heart.
Are you listening to yourself?
BrunetteGoddess
05-13-2008, 08:47 PM
You know what? When you're SOBER you'll realize the reason people like myself are getting so pissy with you is BECAUSE we care.
Things are pretty foggy when you can't think straight. I know. I went through addiction for 2 years and almost killed my damn self. You think people who care are just wanting to bring you down, they don't get it, etc. How are they ever supposed to though when you don't listen to them?
And just because you are stopping yourself AFTER you binged doesn't make you a normal person. That still makes you and addict.
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:48 PM
Coherent now 45 minutes ago...wasted.
Whatever.
This thread is a train wreck.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:53 PM
Coherent now 45 minutes ago...wasted.
Whatever.
so I should get wasted again to stay consistent?
Sophia_Ashley
05-13-2008, 08:54 PM
No I don't believe you were ever "wasted to start with"
Joplin
05-13-2008, 08:55 PM
ummm okay....
KamrynAnne
05-13-2008, 09:00 PM
i hope one of the girls on here has your phone number to talk to you... that way someone knows you haven't passed away.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 09:00 PM
I'm still drunk me: im drunk
(10:38:39 PM) me: i want more alchol
(10:39:15 PM) bf: mmmm I think youve had enough
(10:39:25 PM) me: i need more
(10:39:30 PM) bf: no you dont
(10:39:39 PM) me: yes. i do.
(10:39:40 PM) bf: you sounded like you had plenty on the phone
(10:39:55 PM) me: well it's worn off now
(10:39:59 PM) bf: and i need more
(10:42:05 PM) bf: well I gues you should have saved some
(10:43:50 PM) me: :'(
(10:48:23 PM) bf: wanna see a movie tomorrow?
(10:48:37 PM) bf: I tried to wake you up this morning to go to breakfast but you wouldnt
(10:48:52 PM) me: ?\
(10:48:52 PM) bf: maybe we can go tomorrow
(10:49:03 PM) bf: I set the alarm to 9 this morning
(10:49:13 PM) bf: but you were passed out
(10:49:24 PM) bf: so I went back to bed
(10:49:41 PM) me: i dont remember that
(10:49:45 PM) me: im really sad
(10:50:01 PM) me: and comming down from being drunk and want some more soooooooooo bad
(10:50:20 PM) me: and everyone on sw is flaming me and calling me a "junkie" but im not
(10:50:36 PM) bf: wtf?
(10:50:57 PM) bf: like a xanax junkie or something?
(10:52:57 PM) me: yha
(10:53:04 PM) me: and i dont fucking care
(10:53:11 PM) me: skrew them
(10:53:17 PM) me: i can do whatever i want
yha..I've been faking it...
kitana
05-13-2008, 09:02 PM
I'm feeling sorry for myself being scared that I'm going to get raped?
You know becuase I get an e-mail once every couple of weeks talking about how there was an attempted rape/assault of a female on campus...soooo selfish
Um, I know I said I was bailing out, but I have a few more things to say in light of this last post I quoted.
First, by being drugged the fuck up 24/7, you are an EASIER target for rape and murder.
Secondly, go to a gym, learn MMA/judo/BJJ/Krav Maga (very practical for street fight, BTW!)/ju jitsu/hapkido/some martial arts, or self defense, buy a gun and learn how to PROPERLY use it, mace, pepper spray, bear spray, ANYTHING to DEFEND yourself.
You are weakening yourself with every shot and every pill, when you wake up and understand that, will you start larning how to defend yourself and protect yourself against others.
AlexxaHex
05-13-2008, 09:03 PM
Go ahead and kill yourself then. FAIL.
It must suck to feel that way over a shitty $300 camera. No point in waking up tomorrow when your camera is gone!
xoxoGracexoxo
05-13-2008, 09:04 PM
I SERIOUSLY have never drank and done xanax at the same time before now, b ut I don't think yall realize how vulnerable I feel...
No, we do. A lot of us have anxiety problems. That's not an excuse for what you're doing, and you know this. That's why you started this thread and why you wan't us to flame you and why you keep throwing out hints about how truly fucked this situation is. You need to be told that what you're doing is completely over the line.
Binging on pills is not OK. Pills and alcohol is how people die. Relationship partners who provide us with narcotics are called enablers, and it is a shitty thing to be.
You want to hit bottom really hard. You want something so fucked and horrible to happen to you that the people around you will see how much trouble you're in and tell you it's OK to stop.
Listen. You CAN stop right now, if you want to. If you want the people around you to know how much you hurt, tell them, and it's OK to scream it as long as you don't hurt anybody and don't say anything you don't mean.
Because you think you'll wake up in a hospital bed with everybody around you telling you their sorry, but you might equally well wind up dead. And yeah, everybody will be sad for a while, but they'll also think you're a dumb-ass after a while they'll go out for pizza and you won't be able to go because you'll be fucking dead.
I say this out of love, and because I know what it's like.
AlexxaHex
05-13-2008, 09:06 PM
Sorry I don't have much sympathy for people who can't pull themselves up by the big girl panties and stop being a victim. I can tell you from firsthand experience that the people you leave behind will hurt everyday. Forever.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 09:07 PM
I know I'm an easier target right now. I have a HUGE knife with me but being fucked doesn't help in th slightest. I know how to knife fight (my aunt was a jail guard and learned how to defend herself so I learned how to get around it).
But yha I know this isn't the best state to be in but other side I'm having a break down and cousaling doesn't work and even my mom says she thinks someone abused me when I was little because of the way I act. Whatever that means...
Joplin
05-13-2008, 09:09 PM
No, we do. A lot of us have anxiety problems. That's not an excuse for what you're doing, and you know this. That's why you started this thread and why you wan't us to flame you and why you keep throwing out hints about how truly fucked this situation is. You need to be told that what you're doing is completely over the line.
Binging on pills is not OK. Pills and alcohol is how people die. Relationship partners who provide us with narcotics are called enablers, and it is a shitty thing to be.
You want to hit bottom really hard. You want something so fucked and horrible to happen to you that the people around you will see how much trouble you're in and tell you it's OK to stop.
Listen. You CAN stop right now, if you want to. If you want the people around you to know how much you hurt, tell them, and it's OK to scream it as long as you don't hurt anybody and don't say anything you don't mean.
Because you think you'll wake up in a hospital bed with everybody around you telling you their sorry, but you might equally well wind up dead. And yeah, everybody will be sad for a while, but they'll also think you're a dumb-ass after a while they'll go out for pizza and you won't be able to go because you'll be fucking dead.
I say this out of love, and because I know what it's like.
thank you.
xoxoGracexoxo
05-13-2008, 09:10 PM
You're welcome. What you're doing is fucked up. You should stop.
I've always had a lot of respect for you. You took your dancing really seriously and always seemed like a really smart person.
What you're doing right now is totally unworthy of the person you are.
Joplin
05-13-2008, 09:14 PM
I know Grace and I just need help. I don't need people, to over react and say I'm ruining the world and making it hard for people to get drugs they need or whatever, I just need people to tell me how it is like you're doing, I very much appreciate it.
xoxoGracexoxo
05-13-2008, 09:16 PM
I know Grace and I just need help. I don't need people, to over react and say I'm ruining the world and making it hard for people to get drugs they need or whatever, I just need people to tell me how it is like you're doing, I very much appreciate it.
I know. Honestly, a lot of what's being said in here is out of concern for you, but maybe people aren't saying it exactly so you can understand. When people get confrontational with us about behaviors we know are destructive, we get defensive, and we wind up defending things we KNOW are stupid.
I've been in downward spirals, too, and I've had behaviors that got beyond my control. You are RIGHT to feel scared, because you are in a scary place. What you are wrong about is that help is actually always much closer to hand than we think it is. It's cheesy, but I swear to god.
BrunetteGoddess
05-13-2008, 09:32 PM
Joplin, if you need to go through 40 therapists before you find one that 'gets you', then do it. Because therapy will NOT work if you do not click with your therapists.
You also can't expect them to help in a short time. Therapy works long term.
I wish I could buy you two books, but instead I'll just link them. Please consider either buying them or see if the local library has them. I was recommended them by doctors and family.
"Beyond Anxiety and Phobia"
Workbook (goes with above):
ajbaer
05-13-2008, 09:36 PM
I have weed and xanax...and I'm drunk..but I don't hink i'm gona share it with you :(
XoticaDoll
05-13-2008, 09:37 PM
I hope very much that you will be able to deal with the issues that are driving you to this type of self destructive behavior.
You deserve much more than you are currently experiencing and your boyfriend and family can not give you the sense of self worth that you need to carry on and live better.
It is very obvious you need help and that can come in many forms.
In this thread you describe many things that must be hurting you, the loss of your brother, one of your parents drinking all the time, few friends, a boyfriend that doesnt understand.
I honestly hope you understand that you have to get help for what is hurting you or YOU may ultimatley be the one that hurts yourself the most.
I do not have the answers to your personal and current problems but I do know it is possible to change and to have better in life than this, but you must fight, find something inside of you that wants to keep going and fight for it.
I wish you well.