Log in

View Full Version : He beat my ass....



Pages : 1 2 [3] 4

Hello_Kitty27
05-19-2008, 05:10 PM
I've been thinking of you Lucki, hope you're OK. :-)

High_Heel_Lover
05-19-2008, 07:26 PM
Still thinking about you.

austinatalie
05-19-2008, 07:39 PM
Babe, there is no 'working on' getting out. Call the police right now and they will come handle everything for you. You need to get out of there RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND

StarryEyes
05-19-2008, 08:26 PM
I hope you're OK. Please keep us updated.

VegasPrincess
05-19-2008, 10:01 PM
Honey, if you are reading these messages and you are still in that house, please pick up your cell phone and call 911. Imagine how bad this situation must be if a bunch of virtual strangers on the internet are sitting around worried sick about you.

exotica17
05-20-2008, 12:29 AM
I don't even know you, but I hope you are okay, doll. I hope that at this moment you are settling into a safe, comfy place--emotionally and physically. If you are not, then:

I agree with everyone else--you absolutely have to get out of there! He might tell you that you are f*ing up, or that you will be missing out, or he might threaten you. But just take the plunge and leave! Pack up when he is gone, put your stuff in storage, go to the police station and have them take photos. Keep your whereabouts a secret, maybe even move to a different town. Change your phone number, and don't leave any trails behind. I wish you the best of luck, sweets. Hugs.

kitana
05-20-2008, 12:53 AM
Anyone have her number, I am worried.

scarlet_is_yummy
05-20-2008, 01:28 AM
luki...you are strong, if you wer'nt: you wouldnt be questioning his behaviour. you can do this. stand up, walk to the door, walk to the police station and tell them word by word what has happened.

EVEN A THOUSAND MILE JOURNEY MUST START WITH ONE STEP

thats all you have to do, take it step by step and eventually you will look back and all this unhappieness will be a memory

you can do this, dont feel weak BECAUSE YOU ARNT.

Take it one step at a time. just walk out the door and take it from there

Sindi
05-20-2008, 02:07 AM
Ok girls so I am getting worried about this chick and it looks like you all are too ....so I went through her previous posts and this is all I could find out , she worked in a few clubs in Atlanta so its safe to assume that she lives near there , she seems close to her parents so if she missing I am sure they will notice .....also she has an OMP page someone might be able to recognized her if they are in ATL area ?? I dunno also she has AOL and Yahoo messengers , I added her to mine so hopefully she will sign on ?

Thats all ..........I hate this shit ..she is most likely fine and just didnt want to hear our advice or got embarssed WHICH SHE SHOULDNT HAVE !!!!


Anyways I hope someone can find her or she just comes back oxox

loveandluxury
05-20-2008, 06:55 AM
I'm really worried about you Lucki, I keep thinking about you. I hope you're somewhere safe and you're okay.

High_Heel_Lover
05-20-2008, 07:37 AM
damn no update?

phillyvixen
05-20-2008, 07:49 AM
I can't stop thinking about your situation
I pray you are safe
please update when you can
Be strong

noelle
05-20-2008, 08:07 AM
please update when you get the chance. We all want to make sure you're doing okay. :hug:

Polekitten
05-20-2008, 08:24 AM
If shes in a womans shelter she may not have access to the internet. Fingers crossed shes made it out safe, I'm worried sick, if anyone hears anything please update.

JustJayda
05-20-2008, 09:33 AM
Anyone have her number, I am worried.

as soon as I can find my old cell phone..its got to be around here somewhere. I'm gonna try to call as soon as I can find it, sorry I'm late to this thread:-[

Hugs Lucki, call me if you have my number that starts with 8. I'm not that far away.

Electrum
05-20-2008, 09:46 AM
There are multiple reasons he could be behaving like this. My boyfriend was bipolar and abusing adderall (amphetamine), was trying to recover from being a heroin junky, and had a horrifying childhood. He was exactly like how you explain; completely fine one second and then trying to kill me the next OVER NOTHING. One time he fucking tried to kill me because I didn't tweezer a hair on his back. I'm not even joking.

Please you need to call the police and have him arrested. Trust me, not only is it best for you but it is best for him. I am still with my boyfriend but only after sending him to jail a couple times, and now he is in intensive domestic abuse counseling and I would NEVER let him back into my life unless the social workers and Judge said he was OK around me and my children. This has taken YEARS for him to even give it 100% to try and work through. One of the social workers I worked with said approximately only 1 in 1000 men "get it" and can break the cycle.

With that said, you are only enabling him more if he doesn't suffer the legal and moral consequences. It is honestly the only thing that can save YOU and him, if you still care about him that is.

I really feel for you because I know how this feels. It is so terrifying and it changes you. Please whatever you do, know that my thoughts are with you.


Oh my god ya'll. I thought my ex was lazy and worthless but this guy I'm with now scares me to fucking death. I have no idea why God put me in this situation. I'm bawling while I'm typing this.
My boyfriend moved me in a new apartment with him about 3 months ago. He told me ahead of time he has an anger problem. Long story short...he's pushed me around a couple times but today was bad...
He was at work and we were on the phone and he started yelling at me about my car note. I basically told him that him jumping down my throat doesn't do anything and that he should talk to me instead. That's when he snapped and said he was on his way home. He came home and basically whooped my ASS.
I was bleeding from my mouth. He had me on the floor and punched my back a few hard times. He choked me to where I started gasping for air. My lip is swolen. I have a big scratch across my eye and it looks like it might bruise. I know my back is gonna bruise because I can barely breath it hurts so bad. My jaw hurts when I move it too much. I swear to you guys I'm not exxagerating. I felt the most helpless than I've ever been in my fucking life.
You guys...I don't understand people like this. I am such a nice person and I don't understand why he did this to me even if I did say something to make him mad.
Why is it that he is the sweetest thing in the world one minute, then completely turns on me the next?
I've never in my life even came close to being in this kind of situation. I need support. Support. Support.

Electrum
05-20-2008, 10:02 AM
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I see a lot of my situation in yours. I totally agree with you that a lot of people don't understand that most abusive relationships don't start out that way. It took my boyfriend approximately 6 months to finally do something, I forget exactly what the first incident was, but probably spitting in my face or shoving me. Then it only got progressively worse.

I still to this day cannot figure out why I've stayed with him. Nothing physical has happened for almost a half a year now (I sent him to jail for attacking me and now he's on probation doing all of the drug and domestic violence counseling). Sometimes I honestly am afraid that I will stay with him no matter what, regardless if he sticks with getting help. Granted, he is doing great with his counseling, but what if he does something again? Why can't I fucking leave?

Wow, this thread is really taking me places I don't wanna go, but that's the thing with this type of shit. We have to really evaluate ourselves and figure out WHY, why is it us, or why are we letting it be us? I don't know if this rant helps, but I just really appreciate the personal stories. It's helping me too. I really hope that the OP is safe....

I do not recommend sticking it thru like I have. It has changed me as a person and has taken me places I NEVER thought I'd go...


because there is something about your personality that it makes it "ok" in your mind to be with such a person. it's also quite possible that you subconsciously "want" this type of relationship.

please don't take that the wrong way. i say this to every girl in this situation and i understand how it can "come across" but i assure you that i don't mean you "deserve" it, in any way.

let me tell you my story first. a little clarification, i suppose. this is why i say these things to women in this sitation:

(i don't normally get this personal, but i thought it might help)

my mother was severely abused by my real father. i literally watched as he choked her to near-death when i was 6 years old. shortly after that incident he hit me for the first time (threw me into a wall) and she left him. we moved in with my grandparents. after that he would come to their house and threaten to kill us both, he punched out the windows in my grandfathers car, etc.

i swore i would never ever be with someone like that. i even (as a teenager, and obviously i don't think so anymore) was a bit disgusted with my mother for staying with him as long as she did. i thought it was pathetic. i had a "difficult" child/teenhood even after we left my father, but that's besides the point.

at 17 i met a guy. i had my first "serious" bf before him (when i was 16, lasted bought a year) and it was your pretty typical first "love" thing. when i met this new guy (we'll call him steve... not sure why i'm using a fake name... but so be it) i totally fell for him right away. within weeks we discussed moving into our own apartment after i graduated HS. he was 2 years older, so he had already graduated.

what some people who've never been in an abusive relationship don't understand, is that most of them don't start out abusive. steve and i went a good 2 months or so before anything besides verbal bickering happened. i will note though, that when we DID argue verbally, he resorted to "name-calling" and "bullying" often. this is a fairly good sign of a possible abuser.

maybe 2 months in, we were having an argument and he pushed me into a door. i don't know how else to explain it besides that i just "put it out of my mind" like it was a fluke. he was very "sorry" afterwards and apologized profusely. a few weeks went by and it happened again. we got into an argument and he pushed me. this time i sort of fell into a kneeling position. when i tried to stand, he pushed me down again. afterwards, the apologies started again, and i shrugged it off. did i think i was in an "abusive relationship"? absolutely not. if you would have told me so then, i would have laughed in your face.

a few months later we move in together. this is when the verbal fighting becomes almost daily. when we fight he -screams- at me till his voice cracks and becomes hoarse. it "gets physical" about once a week now. still pushing, you know, "nothing serious".

to try and make this story shorter, i'll just say this:
over the next year the pushing slowly turns to grabbing. as in grabbing my arms and pulling/pushing me around while digging in and causing bruises. then the grabbing turns to the occasional punch. he never hit me "in the face" though, so it was still "nothing serious".

i remember the first time i started to think "you know what this is". i was working at target back then (i was 18/19) and i had to wear long sleeves this one really hot day, in order to cover the handprint on my right arm. i remember thinking to myself "no one would ever guess the reason". then i told myself "thats because i'm not someone who gets in a relationship like that".

i did a lot of that back then. i did a lot of telling myself why i was different from the "weak" women who normally stay with guys like this.
-because i'm tough
-i'm not mousey
-we're just "passionate" (yep) you know, like "sid and nancy" (nevermind that he kills her).
-our relationship is closer because we share a kind of "bond" in our fucked-up-ness.

i actually even told myself, at one point, that staying with him MEANT i was tough. you know, because i could "deal with it". i mean, it wasn't effecting me really, not deeply anyway, why should it? (yes. i actually thought that).

we weren't white trash, i wasn't mousey or meek, he wasn't huge and buff...

so how could i POSSIBLY be in an abusive relationship. only "those people" are in an abusive relationship.

-i- on the other hand, am in a hip and edgy relationship with a guy who has some mental problems and is on medication (this was a big part of why i stayed.. because i thought "its not his fault, he has problems").

anyway. maybe a year and 3 or 4 months after we moved in together my best friend, morgan, came to visit from GA. she and i were sitting in my bedroom, listening to music, when steve came in and started screaming at me for something petty. he slammed the door and went back into the living room.

morgan looked at me like "wtf??" and she said "are you ok?" i just stared at her completely unshook and said "yeah" while trying to change the subject. maybe 5 minutes later he comes back in, walks straight up to me without saying a word, and kicks me in the side (she and i were sitting on the floor). then he slams the door and leaves the apartment (all without speaking).

i looked up and morgan was instantly crying. her jaw was dropped. the next 15 minutes was her frantically asking me wtf i'm thinking and telling me how she can't believe it.

that was when i started to think about leaving. it was hearing my best friend in the world tell me what i already knew was the truth. i didn't know "how" to get out. i actually started cheating on him with someone. i wanted to leave but i was scared. a couple months after morgan had visited, we got into a fight that i literally could have been killed in. i fought back (i had once or twice before, too). he took off in his car at the end of it and i actually thought "oh no. i hope he doesn't get hurt driving so angry". i had that thought... and then i picked up my phone and called my mom. i told her everything. i then started packing to move in with my friend (yes, the guy i was cheating on him with, im not gonna lie).

i moved out that night. i got help so i was never alone with him again. he cried and cried and would call me up apologizing. he would call me an hour afterward and tell me he was going to burn down the house i was at now. next day he'd call and cry an say sorry. that went on for a little bit. i eventually stopped answering the phone.

here's why i told you this story:
i had to find out WHY i stayed so long. i had to find out what was wrong with ME emotionally/mentally that allowed that to happen. years later i found myself with another potential abuser. the signs were all there. the name calling, the bullying. a year went by before this one pushed me. i got out shortly after. it never turned abusive in the physical sense because i knew where it was headed. but still.... i PICKED that guy. i picked that same type of guy AGAIN. you know why? because i hadn't yet figured out WHY i was with "steve" in the first place. i figured i wouldnt do it again just because i "learned my lesson" and also because i "wasnt the same girl" anymore. you know, cause i wasn't suicidal and dramatic and whatnot anymore.

i was so very wrong. i never got to the core of the problem till i left the second potential abuser. i figured out (on my own and through forums/sites. i never went to therapy because of the cost, but i recommend it) why i needed that type of relationship. i won't get into why here, because this is already to long and because "my why" isn't important.

yours is.

so, if you take away anything from what i just said, make it this:

find out WHY you CHOSE and then STAYED with this guy for as long as you did. find out why you are on a message board still CONTEMPLATING staying with him. you have 20+ people telling you to leave and you're finding excuses not to.

why?

if you don't figure THAT out, you WILL do this again. maybe not in this very obvious way... but you'll seek out ways to destroy yourself. i can almost promise it.

Electrum
05-20-2008, 10:12 AM
[/quote]The reason you, and other women in the same circumstances (myself in the past included) stay when we always swore we wouldnt is because it is not as simple as being hit. There is a lot of psychological manipulation that takes place first, they get you to a point where you feel so crazy you dont trust yourself anymore. Your self esteem is destroyed and they DONT PLAY FAIR They lie and lie and lie and act sweet and lovely, but it is all a load of shit. Every sweet word out of his mouth is a lie designed to keep you complacent.

Hope you are okay and safe.[/quote] (Ok I still cannot figure out how to quote only parts of a post lol)

QFT- There were times that he was able to psychologically manipulate me into thinking I was making up shit. And I am a pretty strong girl, mentally, but he was still able to do it. (I'm sure drugs didn't help, but..) I still don't remember half of what happened, or in what order, because of the flight or fight response and my brain blacking a lot of it out. And the fucker used that against me, he used that to make me believe nothing happened, or something else happened, or it was my fault. It's really fucked up. I like to believe that I wouldn't fall for it anymore now that I can see what is really going on...

Electrum
05-20-2008, 10:20 AM
There is no point being "frustrated" with someone who is a victim of abuse. If it frustrates you walk away from this thread. Dont make it worse for her by expressing your judgments on how quickly she is acting.

She already has one person telling her what she should do, her abuser. Having you treat her like an idiot for staying will not do anything but put her down even more. Which is the last thing she needs. really, I know it is hard to watch someone be hurt, especially over and over again. But unless you are standing in her shoes right now you do not know how she feels. you cannot comprehend the confusion and fear and pain and shame she is experiencing. Even if you have been in an abusive relationship yourself, you are not in this one.

Give her support and advice if you can, but stop making snarky little comments about how she should be doing what YOU think is best (and obviously I agree with what you all think is best), she is a grown up and until she reaches those conclusions herself all you are going to do is alienate her from a place where she obviously feels supported.

Also QFT- I remember that I posted multiple times on a religious message board about my abusive relationship for quite awhile before I actually did something. Sometimes it takes awhile, but I understand why people are upset. Taking awhile could be just long enough for him to kill you.

Sindi
05-20-2008, 10:57 AM
Lucki isnt responding to my Yahoo IMs .....

Jadya PLEASE find that phone and call her and I like 5 mins from calling the police over there ...its been 3 days today since we heard from her !!!

Mily
05-20-2008, 11:49 AM
OMG. I really pray that she is OK.

AvanaLaya
05-20-2008, 11:59 AM
OMG This is terrible! That poor girl, how scary!
Guys like that should be put in jail! for a long time!
WTF He has NO RIGHT!
Its easier said then done, but, i hope she finds the stength to put him behind bars, Maybe then he'll learn to control his "anger" problem

Sophia_Ashley
05-20-2008, 12:13 PM
Lets keep in mind too that if he is aware of her blogs he's I'm sure aware of her posting on here and could be lurking. It might be why she's not posted on here yet.

Lets hope for the best and assume she's in a shelter or in hiding and cannot post on the net.

Fingers crossed. She's in my thoughts.

ColetteCalahan
05-20-2008, 12:16 PM
Lets keep in mind too that if he is aware of her blogs he's I'm sure aware of her posting on here and could be lurking. It might be why she's not posted on here yet.

exactly... hopefully she's considered this and that's why she hasn't posted.

... does anyone know where she works? can they contact her club or a co-worker or something?

Sindi
05-20-2008, 12:19 PM
exactly... hopefully she's considered this and that's why she hasn't posted.

... does anyone know where she works? can they contact her club or a co-worker or something?


From her posts on here , it would seem that she doesnt dance anymore and that she has a day job . She is in the Atlanta area though .....poor kid . I hope none of this has gotten her into trouble !?

pookie
05-20-2008, 01:07 PM
Her last activity on SW was today at 2:07

StarryEyes
05-20-2008, 01:26 PM
^ That could've been the psycho^^^..

Lucki, I'm praying for you. :pray:

Sindi
05-20-2008, 02:23 PM
Her last activity on SW was today at 2:07


Oh god , when I checked last night it hadnt been for a few days ....it could have been her or him or who ever but at least if the worst case scenario that he did something to her maybe the police can use this thread to put his ass in jail !!

pookie
05-20-2008, 02:26 PM
can anybody who knows her well please call the police and send them over to her place?

Sindi
05-20-2008, 03:14 PM
can anybody who knows her well please call the police and send them over to her place?


Maybe we should just call the local police anyways ?? Jayda seems to know her somewhat ?!?!

High_Heel_Lover
05-20-2008, 03:27 PM
A well check would be good.

Nini Nieb
05-20-2008, 03:42 PM
This is way too much drama to my liking !! I'm so worried and I'm not the only one.

I don't think it would be inapropiate for someone even just know her sligthly to take some initiative. Calling the cops or a shelter or something ... I dunno ...

LuckiCharm
05-20-2008, 03:47 PM
Ok you guys. Sorry I haven't posted. Every time I have a chance to get online it's only for like a split second. Basically I am at a friends right now, but all my shit is still in the apartment. I have alot of support from people at my job.
Right now I'm just chillin...still in shock.
Some people at work today asked me what happened to my eye and I had to make up some lame excuse. I can't even wear short sleeves (it's not as hell in Atl) because one of my arms is all black and blue. I'm gonna get my friend to take pics for me and I'll have them developed soon.
Right now I'm worried that I might have damage in my back. It's like a sharp pain when I move suddenly or breath wrong.
*Deep sigh*...This is bull shit man.

LuckiCharm
05-20-2008, 03:48 PM
Jayda- That cell doesn't work anymore. I still have your number though and I'll call or text when I get a new phone.

High_Heel_Lover
05-20-2008, 03:49 PM
:sigh of relief!!!!: Oh man you had us all worried sick!


:hugs then shakes Lucky, then hugs:

High_Heel_Lover
05-20-2008, 03:49 PM
And please yes give a number.

TigersMilk
05-20-2008, 03:50 PM
Glad you are at a friends and have local support. Continue to stay strong and away from that asshole.

LuckiCharm
05-20-2008, 04:00 PM
I should be getting a new cell phone first, and anyone who wants my number just pm me. God I love you guys. You all are almost perfect strangers but the best friends...

LuckiCharm
05-20-2008, 04:03 PM
Oh and for those who read that first poem I had in my blog, I know it was kinda disturbing and graphic...that's kinda why I took it down. I wrote it in the heat of the moment. But I like to be heard, so I don't regret putting it up. I just didn't wanna seem so morbid. But I put some more up. You are welcome to read...

MissDewdrop
05-20-2008, 04:04 PM
I'm glad you're ok. Document everything and call the police so they can escort you to get your stuff. This guy should be arrested and sued for your injuries. Really sorry this all happened.

BrunetteGoddess
05-20-2008, 04:12 PM
LC, I'm so glad you're OK! Take pictures ASAP before things start healing, and document EACH scratch, bruise, and pain.

i.breathe.in
05-20-2008, 04:27 PM
big gentle hugs babe im glad you are ok. dont worry about the stuff it is just stuff. i know from experiance. if you can get it great if not its not the end of the world.

beauty21queen
05-20-2008, 04:39 PM
Im glad to hear your doing okay. *hugs*

i.breathe.in
05-20-2008, 04:41 PM
I have been fortunate enough to have never come across a guy like this, so my take on things may be different from other ladies. The old saying "If they do it to you once, shame on them, if they do it to you twice, shame on you," holds true here. That's harsh, I know, but basically it just means that people will only treat you the way you allow them to. Yes there are different circumstances involved in every situation and emotions, too. But you've got to think with your head, not your heart, find your strength from within and move on.

id say she is moving on and i am proud of her.... ::)

StarryEyes
05-20-2008, 04:42 PM
Thank God you are OK!

*Gentle hugs* :hug:

Please stay safe, take pictures of what he did to you, and get to the police ASAP. Make that f*cker pay for what he did to you. Don't worry about your stuff. You can get it later when you are with a cop.

I hope you're feeling better. I know this must be terrifying for you, but dealing with it head-on will make you feel a lot better.

Keep us updated and please don't go anywhere alone and be very aware of your surroundings.

***AND I MUST SAY-- I am really proud of the SWers on here right now. Now I know if I am ever in danger I know that you guys will have my back. I doubt that I will ever be in such danger, but if I am, I'll post my info and you guys have my full permission to call the cops for me.***

Glad you are OK Lucki.

Alia_of_the_Knife
05-20-2008, 04:48 PM
Glad that you are alright. Stay safe. :hug:

ColetteCalahan
05-20-2008, 04:53 PM
THANK GOD!!!!!! I am sooooooo happy you're ok!!!! ;D

keep your chin up & don't look back.

loveandluxury
05-20-2008, 04:59 PM
I have been fortunate enough to have never come across a guy like this, so my take on things may be different from other ladies. The old saying "If they do it to you once, shame on them, if they do it to you twice, shame on you," holds true here. That's harsh, I know, but basically it just means that people will only treat you the way you allow them to. Yes there are different circumstances involved in every situation and emotions, too. But you've got to think with your head, not your heart, find your strength from within and move on.

Why would you post something ugly like that? JFC. She's out of the apartment and with a friend.. just be supportive, not cynical.

Lucki, I'm so glad you're alright. I got so excited when I saw the last post in here saying that you had checked in.. You're a very strong woman, and I'm sorry that you had to go through all that, but you're an inspiration to me and I'm sure a lot of other women. We can all learn something from your strength and courage. I know we don't know each other, but I'm PM'ing you with my number if you ever need an extra ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.

CKXXX
05-20-2008, 05:11 PM
glad you are ok! get to a dr ASAP though to get those injuries properly documented and make sure theres nothing else wrong(the pain while breathing has me worried..what if a rib is cracked or something???)

Good for you for getting out! Now work on putting him where he belongs..behind bars.

RoseLeigh
05-20-2008, 05:17 PM
***AND I MUST SAY-- I am really proud of the SWers on here right now. Now I know if I am ever in danger I know that you guys will have my back.

Me too. I feel all warm and fuzzy to you guys. And especially to you Luckicharm. I'm so glad you're okay. Get yourself looked at soon, okay? Don't mess with the ribs! *hug*