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head turner
05-26-2008, 05:16 PM
I trust seraya more than anyone on this site so I really think it is crazy to question her, her sources or anything she says.

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 05:19 PM
She is your friend I don't expect you to and thats fine.

You are free to believe whatever or whomever you choose, just as I am.

I don't think she's making it a matter of friends or not. If you told us who your source was, and it wasn't just 'Shot told me' (since he implyed the same thing to us, when LL was away from the table) I would believe you, friend or not.

seraya
05-26-2008, 05:24 PM
I trust seraya more than anyone on this site so I really think it is crazy to question her, her sources or anything she says.Thank you honey.

Too much backdoor fuckery going on around here.

SundayMorning
05-26-2008, 05:27 PM
Thank you honey.

Too much backdoor fuckery going on around here.

Ain't nothing wrong with fucking with my backdoor! ;D

(Oh cmon, if I didn't say it, somebody would have!)

Lady Jade
05-26-2008, 05:29 PM
I'm finding out bits and pieces from different people and coupling them with things I have seen/heard myself.

It makes me so sad that I put so much effort into drilling the whole "safety and security" thing into everyone while setting this whole thing up (no easy task, mind you, as very few restaurants wanted to accomodate parties of 20+!), yet we were still compromised from one of the handful of people we SPECIFICALLY AND BY NAME said couldn't get information. It wasn't one or two people that didn't want them there. This was absolutely a majority of people who did not feel comfortable about their attendence. To know that someone among us felt the need to violate our trust and basically tell us to fuck ourselves for wanting security is a huge slap in the face.

As this all goes on, it looks less and less likely that the guilty party will step up and admit that they did it. Perhaps they thrive on this type of drama?

seraya
05-26-2008, 05:33 PM
I don't think she's making it a matter of friends or not. If you told us who your source was, and it wasn't just 'Shot told me' (since he implyed the same thing to us, when LL was away from the table) I would believe you, friend or not.I'm sorry hun, like i said I have my reasons to believe my sources. Shit I wish that EVERYTHING that goes on around here could just be laid out in the open.

It sucks cos sh0t wasn't the only uninvited guest who just happened know private information about the group.

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 05:37 PM
I'm sorry hun, like i said I have my reasons to believe my sources. Shit I wish that EVERYTHING that goes on around here could just be laid out in the open.

So do I! I have no bad feelings towards ya or anything. You seemed very cool. Wouldn't hurt to encourage said sources to come forward. Just sayin'.

NinaDaisy
05-26-2008, 05:57 PM
As a former moderator, it pisses me off to no end that longstanding members who contribute to this site are being constantly censored when vocalizing legitimate concerns about the site's direction.

Moreso because in this case it involves a security issue.

This site has been going down the tubes for a while, and it really accelerated a few months ago after the whole Pamela debacle. Things need to change, otherwise this site's gonna keep sucking more and more.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 06:25 PM
I trust seraya more than anyone on this site so I really think it is crazy to question her, her sources or anything she says.

I can appreciate your sentiment, but neither you or seraya was there. It's not crazy to question someone I met on Saturday, even if I think she was a lovely and polite well spoken person. It's not crazy to question these oh so mysterious sources.

I understand she isn't going to reveal her sources, and part of me commends her for that. However, I refuse to believe it was LL on this lack of evidence and I think calling her out directly without even the courtesy to give reasons why she's suspicious (which I asked her to do in PM but that got too temperamental for me), is snarky, rude and down right uncalled for. YES, someone mentioned LL's name before seraya but seraya called for her to step up and apologize, as if she had proof but refuses to give any.

I understand that you trust her, but I don't trust anyone now. Hell, I didn't trust anyone before this but I sure as hell don't trust SWers who had access to any of the information.

VenusGoddess
05-26-2008, 06:29 PM
Sometimes we are blinded to the faults of our friends.

I find it odd that 2 of the people that knew about the festivities, etc have one direct link.

I don't think many of you need to know names. Just following the breadcrumbs will lead you to your leak.

Lonelily
05-26-2008, 06:38 PM
I'm not ignoring this thread. I'm thinking very carefully about what I would like to say as I know it is a sensitive subject and I will be flamed regardless of what I type. I would also like the opportunity to speak with a couple of people before I type what I have to say, to see if they are comfortable with information being shared.

I will be back and you will get my answer.

miabella
05-26-2008, 06:40 PM
i think the responses would be vastly different (and apparently are, since there was more than one 'uninvited guest' person around, but we only have a thread about the OMG BLACK MAN) if shot was a white guy. just saying, the stereotyped nature of certain of the responses seems a little weird and unsafe to me. i don't remember any threads like this focusing on safety when uninvited white guys turned up to SWfests of the past.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 06:44 PM
Miabella : I didn't realize that there were previous meet ups where white guys showed up without being invited (in fact, directly told not to come). Since none of them involved me... I can honestly say I would have thrown a fit either way. Men scare me in general though and for that matter, I'd still be upset and scared and offended if a woman had done it.

High_Heel_Lover
05-26-2008, 06:45 PM
Sh0t is Black?

And this is an issue? his race? I have never read anything about that.

I thought it was the lack of respect he had for Ladies Night out.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 06:47 PM
Sh0t is Black?

And this is an issue? his race? I have never read anything about that.

Yes, he is. I don't think it's an issue but apparently there was an event where a white person (male) turned up uninvited. I think this is different because he was told specifically to stay away. To me that's just creepy and instigating.



i don't remember any threads like this focusing on safety when uninvited white guys turned up to SWfests of the past.

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 06:49 PM
Sh0t is Black?

And this is an issue? his race? I have never read anything about that.

I thought it was the lack of respect he had for Ladies Night out.

His race is not an issue. HE was the person who showed up. The person he threatened us with did not.

I haven't been to any other Fests except kareoke night, and no one weird showed up then. Except me.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 06:50 PM
His race is not an issue. HE was the person who showed up. The person he threatened us with did not.

I haven't been to any other Fests except kareoke night, and no one weird showed up then. Except me.

Not true... Ody was there too. And he's weird. Or maybe he's just weird because he's a figment of my imagination.;D

High_Heel_Lover
05-26-2008, 06:50 PM
RL you are not weird!

Djoser
05-26-2008, 06:51 PM
i think the responses would be vastly different (and apparently are, since there was more than one 'uninvited guest' person around, but we only have a thread about the OMG BLACK MAN) if shot was a white guy. just saying, the stereotyped nature of certain of the responses seems a little weird and unsafe to me. i don't remember any threads like this focusing on safety when uninvited white guys turned up to SWfests of the past.

As far as I know you are the first person to mention Sh0t being black. There certainly wasn't any hint of racism, or racist fear, in Dottie's original post.

But what is this about Sh0t 'threatening' to bring another uninvited guest??

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 06:53 PM
Yes, he is. I don't think it's an issue but apparently there was an event where a white person (male) turned up uninvited. I think this is different because he was told specifically to stay away. To me that's just creepy and instigating.

That was the point. We tried to keep it all off-board and he found out and came any way. From far off. And then basically threatened us with coming the next day with the other univited person because he knew where we would be.

VenusGoddess
05-26-2008, 06:53 PM
No one has ever showed up directly uninvited before (well, uninvited by the masses, not the one person inviting them). There were several fests where the dancers said they were tired of the PL's that would show up and that is why the fests went from being organized on the site to being organized in a private group (Yahoo, etc).

But, as far as I know...no other man has intentionally crashed an SWFest...black or white.

High_Heel_Lover
05-26-2008, 06:54 PM
He could be purple with red polka dots for all I care but showing up was not cool. I'm sure glad I wasn't there when this went down and then again who knows how long he was there watching and doing God knows what?!

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 06:55 PM
^That upped my creeped out factor. :(


not that it's inaccurate, but still... makes me feel more unsafe.

High_Heel_Lover
05-26-2008, 06:57 PM
I'm sorry honey.

Jenny
05-26-2008, 07:09 PM
i think the responses would be vastly different (and apparently are, since there was more than one 'uninvited guest' person around, but we only have a thread about the OMG BLACK MAN) if shot was a white guy. just saying, the stereotyped nature of certain of the responses seems a little weird and unsafe to me. i don't remember any threads like this focusing on safety when uninvited white guys turned up to SWfests of the past.Normally I try to be pretty sensitive to ingrained or constructive racism, in this case though, I think it has more to do with the fact that so many people have an active antipathy to Sh0t. I mean, he was kind of a self-admitted jerk off who cultivated feelings of dislike here. Would it be different if he were a swell guy everyone liked? Probably because if he were that guy, he probably wouldn't have done it.

Lady Jade
05-26-2008, 07:20 PM
i think the responses would be vastly different (and apparently are, since there was more than one 'uninvited guest' person around, but we only have a thread about the OMG BLACK MAN) if shot was a white guy. just saying, the stereotyped nature of certain of the responses seems a little weird and unsafe to me. i don't remember any threads like this focusing on safety when uninvited white guys turned up to SWfests of the past.

I know my issue with Sh0t showing up had nothing to do with race. It had everything to do with the fact that we were in a hick bar in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere and he somehow found us and felt a compulsion to drive an hour from Brooklyn to crash what was supposed to be a ladies' only event. That, to me, is stalkerish. I'd be equally as pissed if he was white, yellow, purple, green, or Brad Pitt for that matter.

It's the stalkerish behavior that has me totally irked. And regardless of how he got the information, it's the fact that he had the fucking balls to show up that has me pissed at him specifically. I would feel the same about ANY guy who showed up to a ladies' only event to which they were obviously not invited.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 07:24 PM
I know my issue with Sh0t showing up had nothing to do with race. It had everything to do with the fact that we were in a hick bar in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere and he somehow found us and felt a compulsion to drive an hour from Brooklyn to crash what was supposed to be a ladies' only event. That, to me, is stalkerish. I'd be equally as pissed if he was white, yellow, purple, green, or Brad Pitt for that matter.

It's the stalkerish behavior that has me totally irked. And regardless of how he got the information, it's the fact that he had the fucking balls to show up that has me pissed at him specifically. I would feel the same about ANY guy who showed up to a ladies' only event to which they were obviously not invited.

I might let it slide if it was Brad Pitt. I'm just sayin'... lol

Lady Jade
05-26-2008, 07:26 PM
I might let it slide if it was Brad Pitt. I'm just sayin'... lol

Maybe, but I'd still think it was fucking creepy as hell!

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 07:28 PM
Maybe, but I'd still think it was fucking creepy as hell!

AGREED! Frankly, if even someone invited to Saturday's festivities showed up on Friday uninvited, I'd be peeved and make posts about it.

(I would definitely let Brad slide if he brought Angelina though... I'm a sucker for her.)

miabella
05-26-2008, 07:28 PM
Normally I try to be pretty sensitive to ingrained or constructive racism, in this case though, I think it has more to do with the fact that so many people have an active antipathy to Sh0t. I mean, he was kind of a self-admitted jerk off who cultivated feelings of dislike here. Would it be different if he were a swell guy everyone liked? Probably because if he were that guy, he probably wouldn't have done it.

there's a lot of conflicting information about shot. that said, based on people's statements here about what occurred, it was inappropriate behavior on his part. i just find it very curious that absolutely no other uninvited people are being outed in a public thread. because it's not like uninvited folks haven't turned up to SWfests before (and apparently more than one did at this SWfest).

it would be pretty different if all the uninvited types were outed, rather than focusing on one specifically.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 07:29 PM
there's a lot of conflicting information about shot. that said, based on people's statements here about what occurred, it was inappropriate behavior on his part. i just find it very curious that absolutely no other uninvited people are being outed in a public thread. because it's not like uninvited folks haven't turned up to SWfests before (and apparently more than one did at this SWfest).

it would be pretty different if all the uninvited types were outed, rather than focusing on one specifically.

no, Sh0t was the only one who showed up to this event uninvited. he threatened that he would show up with other people who were not invited but didn't.

who are you talking about who wasn't invited that showed up at other events? I know nothing about that.

Lexi
05-26-2008, 07:31 PM
I'm really shocked that people are taking Sh0t's word that LoneLily was the one to tell him. I would take her word FAR above anything Sh0t says, considering I have a strong feeling that he smiles when he lies and he did so when he said "They're getting me kicked out because I won't narc on you for letting me know where you all were".


But he found out nonetheless. So if it wasnt LL (which I highly doubt) then who?

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 07:34 PM
But he found out nonetheless. So if it wasnt LL (which I highly doubt) then who?

There were several people who asked to be included but didn't show and so there's doubt about their identity or reasons for joining.

Lexi
05-26-2008, 07:40 PM
i think the responses would be vastly different (and apparently are, since there was more than one 'uninvited guest' person around, but we only have a thread about the OMG BLACK MAN) if shot was a white guy. just saying, the stereotyped nature of certain of the responses seems a little weird and unsafe to me. i don't remember any threads like this focusing on safety when uninvited white guys turned up to SWfests of the past.

Oh for Fucks sake it has nothing to do with Sh0t being black. ANYONE who crashes a party is unwelcomed. Lets not make it a race issue. Its a SECURITY issue here.

TigersMilk
05-26-2008, 07:41 PM
Gosh you guys are making sh0t out like he wanked off in corner to you guys while secretly watching from afar. lol Ive known him IRL for about 2 years. When we hang out he's real nice to other people in a friendly chatty sorta way. He's even polite too. He has never been rude or assholish to anyone in the numerous times we've hung out. He's a good friend to me.

Granted his internet personality doesn't reflect his RL one and I do realize the online persona was the only one all of you saw.

So the fact that he was invited by a member doesn't bother me since he's no creepy RG or closeted computer wanker.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 07:41 PM
But he found out nonetheless. So if it wasnt LL (which I highly doubt) then who?

The information was shared in a yahoo group to everyone who went or was planning on going to the SW events. Everyone could read them, male or female. There were newer members of SW who were invited to join and then failed to respond to any PMs or comments about RSVPing to the event.

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 07:44 PM
Gosh you guys are making sh0t out like he wanked off in corner to you guys while secretly watching from afar. lol Ive known him IRL for about 2 years. When we hang out he's real nice to other people in a friendly chatty sorta way. He's even polite too. He has never been rude or assholish to anyone in the numerous times we've hung out. He's a good friend to me.

Granted his internet personality doesn't reflect his RL one and I do realize the online persona was the only one all of you saw.

So the fact that he was invited by a member doesn't bother me since he's no creepy RG or closeted computer wanker.

Trust me, our 'in-person' experience was completely different. And he didn't belong at Ladies Night.

miabella
05-26-2008, 07:45 PM
no, Sh0t was the only one who showed up to this event uninvited. he threatened that he would show up with other people who were not invited but didn't.

who are you talking about who wasn't invited that showed up at other events? I know nothing about that.

someone further up in comments alluded to multiple people not being invited to the SWfest more generally, including but not limited to shot.

the uninvited people thing has been a chronic planning issue with SWfests. i am no longer sure if it's one of the reasons things broke out into regional fests, but i feel like it was (although that would have been quite a while ago). also a reason some wanted them all to be LO for all events during an SWfest, period.

Lexi
05-26-2008, 07:46 PM
The information was shared in a yahoo group to everyone who went or was planning on going to the SW events. Everyone could read them, male or female. There were newer members of SW who were invited to join and then failed to respond to any PMs or comments about RSVPing to the event.


I see. Its almost too much trouble. Didnt you guys change locations last minute anyway? (dont know any details so excuse my questions)

BUT... if *I* had gone to the fest and was accused of doing this, I would be all up on the board, either denying to the fullest, or admitting. I wouldnt sit back and watch and then post "I have to come back with my response". I would defend myself!

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 07:47 PM
Gosh you guys are making sh0t out like he wanked off in corner to you guys while secretly watching from afar. lol Ive known him IRL for about 2 years. When we hang out he's real nice to other people in a friendly chatty sorta way. He's even polite too. He has never been rude or assholish to anyone in the numerous times we've hung out. He's a good friend to me.

Granted his internet personality doesn't reflect his RL one and I do realize the online persona was the only one all of you saw.

So the fact that he was invited by a member doesn't bother me since he's no creepy RG or closeted computer wanker.

He showed up where he was specifically told he should not be. It's extremely disturbing that someone would make that much of an effort to arrive at a place far from where he was staying and was explicitly unwelcome. It's fair to call it stalkerish.

miabella
05-26-2008, 07:50 PM
how on earth did you know where he was staying?!

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 07:50 PM
I see. Its almost too much trouble. Didnt you guys change locations last minute anyway? (dont know any details so excuse my questions)

BUT... if *I* had gone to the fest and was accused of doing this, I would be all up on the board, either denying to the fullest, or admitting. I wouldnt sit back and watch and then post "I have to come back with my response". I would defend myself!

That would be too easy. Instead it has to be cloak and dagger, can't reveal my sources, third party bs. It is SW not the CIA, people. I'm really pretty furious at this point.

High_Heel_Lover
05-26-2008, 07:53 PM
How long on SW was it ok to be added on the Yahoo group?

High_Heel_Lover
05-26-2008, 07:53 PM
how on earth did you know where he was staying?!

He mentioned it to the girls.

scarlett_vancouver
05-26-2008, 07:54 PM
I think, if we want to avoid even more of a shitstorm, we should wait until LL posts her definitive response to this.

RoseLeigh
05-26-2008, 07:55 PM
how on earth did you know where he was staying?!

Yes that was his defense: he didn't come 3000 miles, just 100.

TheTempest
05-26-2008, 07:55 PM
how on earth did you know where he was staying?!

I mean the area he was staying, of course, not the EXACT location. He mentioned to me in PM in Chat he was in NYC for his father's birthday or other family event. Anywhere in NYC to where we were was 45 minutes to an hour.

Lexi
05-26-2008, 08:00 PM
He mentioned it to the girls.

Yeah, which girls???



That would be too easy. Instead it has to be cloak and dagger, can't reveal my sources, third party bs. It is SW not the CIA, people. I'm really pretty furious at this point.

Who are you furious with?

BrunetteGoddess
05-26-2008, 08:00 PM
Aren't we supposed to keep her previous screen name private? She deleted her account and came back for stalker issues, so you might want to edit your post.

EDIT: Thanks SV.

Lexi
05-26-2008, 08:01 PM
Aren't we supposed to keep her previous screen name private? She deleted her account and came back for stalker issues, so you might want to edit your post.


Hysterical, that the person who had stalker issues is the same one accused of giving info to a "stalker".

:rotfl:

So hyprocritcal at this point!!!