View Full Version : Who belongs on SW?
Perry
05-27-2008, 10:39 PM
This thread has put me in check. When I first started dancing it was all a big party, and I was friends with everyone at my home club. After 2 years of it, I guess I just grew up. It's a job, not a lifestyle.
I can't relate, or hang out with many other dancers these days. So I try to get that here. But that's not what this site is about. The majority of my posts should be in stripping general, hustle hut, the newbie board, and the like. I should focus more of my time here on contributing to other dancers - not in an zelouse or over bearing sort of way, but maybe only allow myself to post in the lounge after one elsewhere offering advice or sympathy, or a good story.
VenusGoddess
05-27-2008, 10:52 PM
Since we're now approaching decisions which will affect the foundation of SW, I'd like to add to the discussion. My opinion may also not mesh well with some of the presently expressed, but considering that the changes will affect my usage as well, it's important I express mine too.
First, one of the points I keep in mind when browsing this forum is that, yes, it is a forum intended for industry networking but nonetheless, it is still a part of the internet. Realistically, this means that there will be browsers, lurkers, curious readers, and industry hopefuls. It just comes with the territory. This is why our mods exist, to regulate and disarm those that act maliciously. This being said, it concerns me to hear of some of the sentiments of 'insiders' vs. 'outsiders' and being able to selectively decide who belongs and who does not. I, of course, do not condone those who troll or harass anyone on this board. But, at the same time, because the industry itself contains so many gray areas, how does one really determine the standards for 'belonging.' I know there are many forums and message boards I personally browse and participate in where I don't exactly fit every standard for 'belonging.' However, I find the information to be relevant and captivating, and try to be respectful and aware of my behavior. If there is anyone else who can honestly say that they 'belong' to every site, forum, and message board they visit, I say, offer up your Bookmarks folder, or your Web History, and we'll see... because once again, it comes back to the fact that it is the internet, an informational resource begging to be surfed. How many of you have browsed through Flickr albums that don't belong to you, or perused over a plastic surgery forum when you've never had plastic surgery? Now, should a member or poster actually act and become unruly, then I agree that prompt action should be taken. But to make broad statements as to who doesn't belong, well, this touches on what someone mentioned before as to the issue of clarity.
When one says that men don't belong, what about the issue of male dancers? There are some clubs where both men and women work in the same brick and mortar, not all are gender segregated. If one of those male dancers has information to contribute about that specific club, then, I would like to know about it, and in my opinion belongs in Club Chat. DJ's, bouncers, barbacks, and other club personnel are also vast sources of information because, yes, they do observe our environments and if there is something that they can share, I'd like to know about that too. So while some may consider their participation a nuisance, I do not, because the main reason I come to this site in the first place is for information, and I can find value in posts that may suggest the climate of a certain city or club, that otherwise I may not be aware of. Also, there are our transgender participants, which may account for why some do not carry a blue or pink ribbon, something to keep in mind. As for our club customers and non-dancers, who here really gets to decide their worth? I can recall some non-dancers posts regarding plastic surgery or music that I found very interesting. As I said before, as long as they are not being abusive towards other members.....
As a solution, I do believe compromise can be made successfully, with an introductory forum open to all, with certain velvet rope sections for those who would prefer more exclusivity. Perhaps either decided by numeric post count, pay for access, invite only, or a formula of karma points (such as I've seen on other forums where members award points for quality of posts). But in calling out for sweeping exclusivity from the initial gate, actually impedes your access to new and current information, as well as mine.
Geezus krist...you are obviously not reading.
No one said that MEN shouldn't be here but that NON-INDUSTRY people should not be outposting industry people and that they should also not be posting in sections that they have no knowledge on.
You'll see that MOST of the people here are speaking in terms of "dancer/stripper" and not men/women. Why? Because there are male dancers, DJ's, etc.
Industry is exactly that...industry. If you do not work in a strip club, you are probably not industry, right? So, how is that so hard to figure out?
On another note, I do not crawl around the internet reading/posting/etc to sites that I do not "fit" in at. I belong to SW, my own message board, and a mommy message board. I certainly wouldn't be posting stuff in the mommy message board if I wasn't a mommy. What would be the use? Give other moms advice from a book that was read? Same goes for this site. Why are people, who have nothing to add to this site, so interested in being here? Why do they get so bent out of shape when they are told that they really do not belong here?
If a dancer asks a question and you do not have personal experience (and it's not, I know a guy who's sister's boyfriend's best friend's cousin's girlfriend is a stripper and she said) then you should not be posting. It's really as simple as that.
Again, the aggravation is not that there are non-industry people here. It's that the vast majority do not respect what this site is for and are posting fluff crap (outposting dancers) and posting everywhere.
After crawling through tons of "wubby wub wub" posts and OT posts from people who have no clue...it does get annoying and it does get in the way of what this site is for.
It's not a man vs. woman thing. It's an industry vs. non-industry and knowing your place thing.
jannisary
05-27-2008, 10:57 PM
I basically agree with Madcap, JZ, and VenusGoddess.
Lysondra
05-27-2008, 11:01 PM
Whut? Who is this magical horrible person who doesn't belong?
Thank g-d I'm a stripper.
In all honesty the reason I post fluff more than usefulness now is because usefulness gets you bitten on the ass by stalkers/managers/fellow dancers in real life and the drama is no good D:
Perry
05-27-2008, 11:35 PM
^^ And it shouldn't be that way. I've had the same thing happen to me. I guess I can't complain - if I'm cautiouse about sharing my pics and location, it would take a pretty dedicated stalker to pin-point exactly what club I'm at and which girl I am.
Problem is that's the talent stalkers and a lot of managers have that make them oh-so creepy. It would be nice if some more privacy features were in effect. And I think that's a chunk of the unease we have about non-industry folk being here.
Darcy Foxx
05-27-2008, 11:40 PM
The hard thing with privacy features is that they're so damn easy to evade. Let's say we make LO so you have to be a girl to view it. We're just gonna end up with hundreds of idiots making fake accounts with a pink ribbon so then they not only can view it, they can post there too. So let's also say they have to have 100 posts before they can access it? We've all seen how quickly someone can up their post count in a short space of time by posting rubbish in the more social forums.
Yeah, it might deter a percentage of guys from reading it. But it will not put a stop to the problem. Same thing goes for making CC 'industry only'. There is no way to actually prove whether someone registering on here is a stripper, a manager, or a creepy stalker, until they actually display that behaviour.
AmazingKat
05-27-2008, 11:49 PM
In all honesty the reason I post fluff more than usefulness now is because usefulness gets you bitten on the ass by stalkers/managers/fellow dancers in real life and the drama is no good D:
I do this all the time. I start writing posts and about halfway through I start to ponder 'what if so and so saw this' etc. I keep more of my posts related related to seemingly generic topics versus actual day to day happenings.
Christany
05-28-2008, 12:08 AM
Geezus krist...you are obviously not reading.
No one said that MEN shouldn't be here but that NON-INDUSTRY people should not be outposting industry people and that they should also not be posting in sections that they have no knowledge on.
You'll see that MOST of the people here are speaking in terms of "dancer/stripper" and not men/women. Why? Because there are male dancers, DJ's, etc.
Yes, I will agree that "most" were speaking of dancer/stripper, but some mentioned the issues of men within the site, hence the reason I brought it up. To say that I'm "obviously not reading" isn't exactly a fair statement.
Industry is exactly that...industry. If you do not work in a strip club, you are probably not industry, right? So, how is that so hard to figure out?
This is what I was referring to in terms of the gray area. There are many here who are involved in or are seeking out other forms of adult entertainment, such as displayed in our Other Work forum. So by that logic, should someone who is involved exclusively in PSO phone work be banished? Would they not have insightful information to offer to 'our' side of the industry? Look at Pamela for example. Let's just say for a second that she never danced outside of her PSO work, was she not valuable resource for many here? I do hope that you can see where I'm going with this, and not infer that I'm "not reading", because I realize you, nor anyone else, did not directly say this. I'm illustrating a point.
If a dancer asks a question and you do not have personal experience (and it's not, I know a guy who's sister's boyfriend's best friend's cousin's girlfriend is a stripper and she said) then you should not be posting. It's really as simple as that.
This is where you and I would defer. I would be interested in reading what this hypothetical friend-of-a-somebody would have to say. You may not see the value in this, but I do, because there are still bits of information lying within the context. And again, to clarify, as long as the poster isn't being abusive, malificent, or taunting, if they're offering information or a lead to follow, why turn away knowledge?
Again, the aggravation is not that there are non-industry people here. It's that the vast majority do not respect what this site is for and are posting fluff crap (outposting dancers) and posting everywhere.
After crawling through tons of "wubby wub wub" posts and OT posts from people who have no clue...it does get annoying and it does get in the way of what this site is for.
It's not a man vs. woman thing. It's an industry vs. non-industry and knowing your place thing.
I can understand you have your opinion, and I respect that. There are also some points you make that I will, in part, agree with, such as respect (always a desired quality). However, I'm not really sure if you understood the point of my post. I only lightly touched upon men and their place within the site. The main point was to display the overlapping of 'our' world in relationship to others and attempting to segregate ourselves into ultimate exclusivity might not be the answer. There are risks that come with that option too. I would like a constant stream of information with moderator intervention (as needed). This is my goal, which may differ slightly from yours. But your forum experience does not define mine, and I don't appreciate it being pre-spoken for as such.
Sophia_Ashley
05-28-2008, 01:52 AM
i get creeped out getting messages about drugs from customers, esp when they, uh, KNOW that would get to me.
doesn't matter.
Dottie Rebel
05-28-2008, 02:39 AM
Not to quibble, but if you're that concerned with safety after having had these stalker issues, why post so much personal info (including pics)?
Sophia_Ashley
05-28-2008, 02:46 AM
bah humbug
Jenny
05-28-2008, 04:34 AM
Will I say anything to a mod? Report the PM? No god damn way. Who in the hell do I tell? Because I don't get who's on our side anymore. When I left here prior I was informed thru a friend the amount of shit talking in a thread that went on about me, FROM A MOD! So who is really unbiased here, or reasonable? That's my question. Who do we trust?
So.... A friend told you that a mod said something mean, so you don't know who to trust to point a member harassing you through PM? Sophia - you might consider that isn't the most rational train of thought. a) As I've said many times before - it is possible to overestimate the information you guys get from these "friends". b) The fact that a mod may not like you doesn't mean that he or she will not be concerned at this behaviour. There are some people here I dislike; it doesn't mean that I would turn a blind eye or do something negative in this situation.
Okay. Let me put it this way. PMs are not like posts. We can't read your PMs. We cannot find out if there is PM harassment unless you tell us. You might consider if you choose not to share this information you are enabling someone here to harass someone else. Your options are:
Report it or
Put up with it.
It is entirely your decision; nobody else has a damn thing to do with it, and if you decide to put up with it, it is on nobody but you. There is just no way that Pryce, Tashia or any of us can help you with it if you make this decision.
Customers ask for drugs ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME through PM's.
But things have gotten rather gray around here and I don't know who I'm supposed to send and report these to.
Nobody has ever PMed me asking for drugs. Like never, not even once. They don't do it all the time to everyone. And I encourage you - I strongly encourage you - to report them to any active mod, including me. I promise, even if I don't like you, I'll do something.
francescadubois
05-28-2008, 08:36 AM
I think the sad part about this MB now is that it is SO polarized, and extra fuckin' clique-y. You can't be nice to a certain person, b/c if a certain clique doesn't like that person, you are immediately associated with that person and usually dissed in some form or another. It's just really wierd. I don't have any issue with anyone on here, I appreciate the input of most people on here, but I find myself posting less and less cuz I feel like I have to pick a side or some shit, and also I don't feel like kissin' anyone's ass (which is rampant all over the place).
It's the fuckin' internet, folks. Maybe we should stop gettin so butt-hurt over everything. :shrug:
cutey5032
05-28-2008, 08:50 AM
I think SW belongs to strippers and other people IN THE INDUSTRY (DJs, managers, whatever), not "friends of the industry" or "have connections to the industry." Also, people who used to be in the industry have a lot to contribute. Hell, they could have been the #1 hustler and can pass all those tips on to us! Or those who are thinking about doing it of course, look how many people came on here and became a stripper.
I don't think, nice as some are, that non-industries should be allowed anywhere on here except Customer Conversation. Not even the lounge. I used to love the lounge, but now its always cluttered with some bullshit. And I'm sick of the judgmental attitude in the lounge coming from, once again, the non-industry people (well for the most part anyways). We're strippers here. A lot of us think and live differently than Average Joe. I wish the Lounge could be a place we could all talk about whatever, AS strippers/industry.
What is wrong with the blue side? How come customers don't want to use it?!? It kind of infuriates me that there is a place FOR STRIPPERS and a place FOR CUSTOMERS and the customers want to be all up with the strippers.
I feel like I contribute here. I try to contribute a lot of industry and industry-related stuff to this website (SG, BB, CC, some HH). I know I have helped a LOT of girls out who PMd me about my old club. I have 1500 posts in what, 10 months? Yeah, some of them were stupid, but a lot of them were helpful too. I just don't see what someone who has THOUSANDS of posts and is not industry is doing here (NOT a direct attack, this is going for a lot of members). And whats weird is I feel weird for saying that.
francescadubois
05-28-2008, 08:58 AM
I totally agree with you, Cutey. And you have ALWAYS been helpful to people. :yes:
beauty21queen
05-28-2008, 08:58 AM
Ummm Sophia maybe you would want to delete that post because you might risk everyone knowing who you are. I remember that story because I remember reading something like that before.
TheSexKitten
05-28-2008, 11:42 AM
It's the fuckin' internet, folks. Maybe we should stop gettin so butt-hurt over everything. :shrug:
QFFT!!! :yes:
jaizaine
05-28-2008, 12:24 PM
is beauty queen gone too? her post says n/a??
Callyish
05-28-2008, 12:33 PM
Looks that way... wow we're losing so many great members...
Wouldn't you think that says something about the state of the site?
Jenny
05-28-2008, 12:43 PM
Most of the people who delete their accounts come back with new names and many of the others compulsively lurked until recently (when you had to make new names to continue lurking). Those who actually leave, just leave. You can read too much into this stuff.
*Iris*
05-28-2008, 12:46 PM
It's the fuckin' internet, folks. Maybe we should stop gettin so butt-hurt over everything. :shrug:
...................................
head turner
05-28-2008, 12:48 PM
She's getting on everyone's nerves. Like, she's not industry, hasn't been here for long and has fucking 4000 posts? That is absolute bullshit and a total waste of server space. She and the rest of the ones like her don't belong on the site at all.
All the industry folk will come back if we make the entire site INDUSTRY ONLY. It's so bloody easy for real dancers to figure out when someone is posing. We need to quit letting everyone and their dog sign up here.
I absolutely disagree. She is a sweetheart who is interested in the industry. Wow, I can't believe you all are being so cold.
If you don't want to read her postings on the humane society or other general things then don't open the thread.
Jesus.
Stripperweb will be a much smaller, much more boring community without good people like HHL.
Dottie Rebel
05-28-2008, 12:52 PM
^^Who isn't interested in our industry? That's sort of the catch here. EVERYONE is fascinated by strippers. And those people have a forum dedicated to them: stripclubjunkie. I would like to have a forum for people in my industry only, and it seems I am NOT in the minority here.
TheSexKitten
05-28-2008, 12:52 PM
Most of the people who delete their accounts come back with new names and many of the others compulsively lurked until recently (when you had to make new names to continue lurking). Those who actually leave, just leave. You can read too much into this stuff.
Thank you. Why bother deleting your account? Oooh, I gotta make a statement. ::)
kitty260
05-28-2008, 12:52 PM
Just having interest in the industry doesn't make someone an asset to this site. It makes them a detriment that encourages others to act the same way. She's welcome to come back when she actually has something to contribute instead of cat pictures.
Jenny
05-28-2008, 12:55 PM
Thank you. Why bother deleting your account? Oooh, I gotta make a statement. ::)Many - probably most - of the members requesting deletion have good and legitimate reasons - they've posted too much, revealed too much, used a name that they use for other things when signing up, etc. etc. However, they are still pretty much coming back.
TheSexKitten
05-28-2008, 01:00 PM
True. Stalker and privacy issues are no joke, but a lot of the time it seems kind of arbitrary. :-\
head turner
05-28-2008, 01:01 PM
^^Who isn't interested in our industry? That's sort of the catch here. EVERYONE is fascinated by strippers. And those people have a forum dedicated to them: stripclubjunkie. I would like to have a forum for people in my industry only, and it seems I am NOT in the minority here.
Well, i guess if that's what everyone else wants, that's the way it has to be. I can't be the only one encouraging a small group of non dancing members to continue posting, can i?
She didn't just post fluff, she posted in many differen't area's, with great advice and lots of compassion.
Callyish
05-28-2008, 01:03 PM
You don't get it.... we're trying to turn SW back into a STRIPPER site. Not a 'save the animals' site.
Don't get me wrong, I believe HHL is a very sweet woman. At the same time though she has nothing to do with the industry so she belongs on the blue side. Which is where she is now. She hasn't left the site, shes just gone over to the area she belongs in.
head turner
05-28-2008, 01:06 PM
True. Stalker and privacy issues are no joke, but a lot of the time it seems kind of arbitrary. :-\
who cares, if someone is back they are back.
There are many reasons why someone would choose to leave. Behind the scenes there is a lot that the other members don't know about. Judging why they left is not fair because you may not know the whole story.
Sometimes people just want out of the "limelight" for a bit.
There is a lot of bs that happens behind the scene and sometimes members can get hurt by that. It's human afterall.
head turner
05-28-2008, 01:07 PM
You don't get it.... we're trying to turn SW back into a STRIPPER site. Not a 'save the animals' site.
Don't get me wrong, I believe HHL is a very sweet woman. At the same time though she has nothing to do with the industry so she belongs on the blue side. Which is where she is now. She hasn't left the site, shes just gone over to the area she belongs in.
I do get it, but i don't agree with it IN HER CASE. That is all.
virgoamm
05-28-2008, 01:08 PM
True. Stalker and privacy issues are no joke, but a lot of the time it seems kind of arbitrary. :-\
I have to say that I totally agree with this. I've been able to figure out every single poster who had their accounts deleted due to stalker issues and came back with a different handle. I mean, if I can figure out who they are, wouldn't you think their stalker/s most definitely could?
kitty260
05-28-2008, 01:12 PM
I do get it, but i don't agree with it IN HER CASE. That is all.
We can't make exceptions. A customer is a customer is a customer, no matter how "nice" they are. This is Stripperweb, not Strippersandafewotherpeoplewhoaren'tstrippersbutar eniceWeb. Customers belong on blue.
head turner
05-28-2008, 01:20 PM
We can't make exceptions. A customer is a customer is a customer, no matter how "nice" they are. This is Stripperweb, not Strippersandafewotherpeoplewhoaren'tstrippersbutar eniceWeb. Customers belong on blue.
There are plenty of other forums dedicated to a certain group of people that dont shun people out just because they don't work in that particular industry especially if they are pleasant people who contribute.
But like i said, I understand BUT I DON'T LIKE IT. I have an opinion too, although it is not the popular one.
Jenny
05-28-2008, 01:22 PM
True. Stalker and privacy issues are no joke, but a lot of the time it seems kind of arbitrary. :-\It may not always be a stalker; it may be something like
"Oh no, I wasn't thinking when I signed up and I used my email handle; the other day when I googled "TheSexKitten" all my stripperweb posts came up; crap - what my mom does that?" or "Oh crap, I used my stage name when I signed up here and any customer googling "TheSexKitten" and "stripper" finds all my posts here". Granted some are just making statements.
HT - they are just trying to convince you, not browbeat you.
britt244
05-28-2008, 01:25 PM
Nobody has ever PMed me asking for drugs. Like never, not even once. They don't do it all the time to everyone. And I encourage you - I strongly encourage you - to report them to any active mod, including me. I promise, even if I don't like you, I'll do something.
well.. other mods arent that way. i had trouble with getting help more than once, and if someone DID do something, they didnt bother to respond to my pm where i forwarded them something (not about drugs. about something totally diff.) so if they did do something, i'm still left thinking that they didnt.
i'm getting the feeling though that my drug guy might be the same drug guy as Sophia_Ashley's and other people, too. and if not.. there are some guys doing the EXACT same things, saying the same things, and it seems too coincidental not to be the same person. yet people know him and say he's a nice guy blah blah blah so it wouldnt matter anyway. ::)
Jenny
05-28-2008, 01:46 PM
I have successfully garnered a complaint! Thank you! Everyone else - if you complaint worthy PMs - I would personally like you to report them. I am personally dying to know if someone has been harassing you through PM.
VenusGoddess
05-28-2008, 03:05 PM
well.. other mods arent that way. i had trouble with getting help more than once, and if someone DID do something, they didnt bother to respond to my pm where i forwarded them something (not about drugs. about something totally diff.) so if they did do something, i'm still left thinking that they didnt.
i'm getting the feeling though that my drug guy might be the same drug guy as Sophia_Ashley's and other people, too. and if not.. there are some guys doing the EXACT same things, saying the same things, and it seems too coincidental not to be the same person. yet people know him and say he's a nice guy blah blah blah so it wouldnt matter anyway. ::)
If it's who I think it is...
I don't know what the hell other people are talking about. I met him once and I will never, ever let that happen again.
britt244
05-28-2008, 03:45 PM
If it's who I think it is...
I don't know what the hell other people are talking about. I met him once and I will never, ever let that happen again.
assuming we're talking about the same guy, someone else told me they were bashed a little bit when they said he was creepy once. i know that he definately has met up with quite a few girls on here, and a lot of them speak very highly of him. and then there are some who get a hardcore creepy vibe from him. all i know is i'm just glad i cancelled our plans at the last minute when he was in md... :-\
TheSexKitten
05-28-2008, 03:51 PM
Judging why they left is not fair because you may not know the whole story.
I was talking more about the fact that people tend to get their accounts deleted instead of just ceasing to post here. But of course, privacy is a pretty big concern so I can understand that.
Hello_Kitty27
05-28-2008, 05:51 PM
Truth be told, at first I took it personally when reading certain people's comments about non-industry people. Some people were more abrasive about it than others, and I was honestly hurt and offended by some comments, especially those made by people I respected and enjoyed their input at one point or another.
However, I totally see some of your points. There are many topics raised on this site that a non-industry person has no business responding to, or even reading about. There should definitely be no leeway given....no middle ground. Because, I could see how only a stripper or industry-person could know about and contribute to a thread about yellow phlegm, people fucking their cars, their prescriptions, etc...
I guess my point is ... some of the very people who are sooooo adamant about this are also guilty of posting a TON of BS, as well as asking for advice and opinions about PLENTY of non-industry things, etc. Perhaps next time I see a posting about something completely non-industry related, I can direct you to a more appropriate forum. :)
I can understand and respect where very many of you are coming from (VG for one, who has voiced her opinion respectfully and eloquently while not being ignorant)....this site SHOULD be more industry-related, and that's great, I whole-heartedly support that idea, and I will be more aware of what/where I am posting, but I will NOT be bullied and backed into a corner by some anonymous people on the internet. I'm sorry, but I won't. i am not letting the opinions of the notorious alpha-females here scare me off of the site. I will be more conscious of what/where I am posting, and who I am responding to, etc.
seraya
05-28-2008, 06:03 PM
^ I noticed that you deleted you previous post and I am glad that you decided to repost. You brought up some valid points.
Lysondra
05-28-2008, 06:10 PM
Question: Did anyone tell this TO her before letting it blow up? Did she ever once get a PM asking her to back off because she's not related to the industry? Once? Anyone?
Hello_Kitty27
05-28-2008, 06:10 PM
seraya, I was so beyond frustrated and really wish I hadn't deleted that yesterday. it was very heartfelt, as many of you have had a SERIOUS impact on my life and have helped me with a lot. I hope I have contributed to some of you as well.
I don't even remember exactly what I said aside from explaining how I stumbled upon this site and why I stayed despite being non-industry. I shouldn't have deleted though. :-\
Thank you. :)
thefrog
05-28-2008, 07:07 PM
Question: Did anyone tell this TO her before letting it blow up? Did she ever once get a PM asking her to back off because she's not related to the industry? Once? Anyone?
dont think so -
and most of the ones that blew it up post as much "non dancer " stuff as she did. :D and take a look still lots of fluffy non dancer stuff being posted after shes gone. :P
Lysondra
05-28-2008, 07:16 PM
Seriously, this is the problem. Everyone can snicker and point when someone's back is turned and they don't know anyone had a problem with it until it blows up and someone says something - publicly -.
She GRACIOUSLY left when people told her she didn't belong. Only after a bunch of people made entire threads about how she shouldn't be here.
Did not one of you think just to tell her directly instead of whispering like highschool children about how you hated her while she continued to be ignorant of her misgivings? How was she to fix ANYTHING if she didn't know what she was doing wrong?
For fuck's sake people. How are any of us to know what we do wrong if nobody tells us? Suddenly there's a lynch mob and she just walks away VERY SWEETLY I might add and bows out when she realizes she isn't wanted.
Don't you think if she had that decency and respect for us to be humble in her departure that maybe -just maybe- she wouldn't been just as humble and understanding just TOLD HER without using entire threads and space and drama and bullshit just to point fingers?
You guys are 12. Seriously. Treat people like adults.
thefrog
05-28-2008, 07:32 PM
Seriously, this is the problem. Everyone can snicker and point when someone's back is turned and they don't know anyone had a problem with it until it blows up and someone says something - publicly -.
She GRACIOUSLY left when people told her she didn't belong. Only after a bunch of people made entire threads about how she shouldn't be here.
Did not one of you think just to tell her directly instead of whispering like highschool children about how you hated her while she continued to be ignorant of her misgivings? How was she to fix ANYTHING if she didn't know what she was doing wrong?
For fuck's sake people. How are any of us to know what we do wrong if nobody tells us? Suddenly there's a lynch mob and she just walks away VERY SWEETLY I might add and bows out when she realizes she isn't wanted.
Don't you think if she had that decency and respect for us to be humble in her departure that maybe -just maybe- she wouldn't been just as humble and understanding just TOLD HER without using entire threads and space and drama and bullshit just to point fingers?
You guys are 12. Seriously. Treat people like adults.
didn't even need to PM her or call her. she just spent a couple days NYC Fest with a couple of the LOUDEST ones.
Docido
05-28-2008, 08:15 PM
This site has changed over time. When I first began lurking here the posts where much longer and more substantive, it was almost like stumbling onto a post-feminist seminar on the sex industry. Of course the community was much smaller then and more focused. It even tolerated guys like merely_lurking, who was designated the "unofficial button pusher." I think that was because the members felt safe and fully in control of this site. Back then there was no doubt who and what the site was for - strippers and others in the stripping industry. With the influx of new people over time the site became much larger and more like myspace. The social networking aspect took over and stripping discussions died a slow death. Members no longer feel like the mission of the site is clear. The question now is how to strike a balance between the stripping-related posts and the social networking. Several people have mentioned cutting down on the amount of fluff. I don’t think any hard and fast rules can be established that will accomplish that since it’s largely a judgment call. Maybe getting rid of the Lounge would do that. Definitely get Clubs and Reviews back up. That section was a great resource for dancers and customers alike. Much, much better than the hideous stripclublist and more timely than TUSCL. I also agree that the “penis-impaired” should mostly stay in the basement. There are things we customers can contribute, but it seems that lately more and more people lack any discretion and common-sense as to where things should be posted.
Now scuttling back to blue.
PS I think I love Lysondra. ;D That's my one fluffy post for the day.
red red red
05-28-2008, 09:46 PM
This site has changed over time. When I first began lurking here the posts where much longer and more substantive, it was almost like stumbling onto a post-feminist seminar on the sex industry. Of course the community was much smaller then and more focused. It even tolerated guys like merely_lurking, who was designated the "unofficial button pusher." I think that was because the members felt safe and fully in control of this site. Back then there was no doubt who and what the site was for - strippers and others in the stripping industry. With the influx of new people over time the site became much larger and more like myspace. The social networking aspect took over and stripping discussions died a slow death. Members no longer feel like the mission of the site is clear. The question now is how to strike a balance between the stripping-related posts and the social networking. Several people have mentioned cutting down on the amount of fluff. I don’t think any hard and fast rules can be established that will accomplish that since it’s largely a judgment call. Maybe getting rid of the Lounge would do that. Definitely get Clubs and Reviews back up. That section was a great resource for dancers and customers alike. Much, much better than the hideous stripclublist and more timely than TUSCL. I also agree that the “penis-impaired” should mostly stay in the basement. There are things we customers can contribute, but it seems that lately more and more people lack any discretion and common-sense as to where things should be posted.
I think that all of this is really on point.
I very much miss the vibe from a few years back when it was possible for non-industry folk to participate on the site harmoniously. It's a big loss for all of us if that is not going to be able to return to a state of equilibrium. It's a shame that SW's focus has become so scattered as to require this purge of sorts. I know I'm not finding it pleasant.
At the same time, I want the post-feminist seminar on the sex industry back very badly.
seraya
05-28-2008, 10:07 PM
Is it just me or does SW seem extra hostile lately?... I even find myself becoming uber-bitchy these days.
Anyways, Lysondra to answer your question... yes, I do believe that the issue in regards to the excessive off topic (animal/child abuse) posts, was mentioned to her.
BTW my original post wasn't directed at anyone in particular, there are many people it applies to (myself even) . My point is that if you are posting non-stop fluff, starting a bazillion (non-industry related) threads a week, or you have been here MONTHS and have thousands of posts on pink, which have nada to do with the industry; then it is a problem... whether or not you are male, female, industry related, non-industry etc. I think that there are some cool customers and members here who are not related to the industry, never were and probably never will be and IMO that is fine, but know your place. Try to refrain from bombarding the boards with irrelevant posts and don't interject your opinion in a stripping related thread if you have no business being in there... be respectful.
As for the customers responding to threads in CC; I personally have no problem with that. Only because the first stripper forum I belonged to (mypole.co.uk) is no longer available, and the few people who seem to be up to date with info on the UK gentlemens/strip club/pub/ scene, are dudes. If the information they share is valuable I don't see why it should be a problem.