View Full Version : "Can I sit?" How to answer that question when you're not interested
Gabrielle MB
06-06-2008, 04:28 AM
Dont go to a strip club if you dont want girls to talk to you. Period.If you are going to be pissy because a girl is doing her job...what you SHOULD be there for..then please...for all our sakes..stay the hell at home
Well, our beer tastes sooo much better then the sports bar. It's overpriced to back it up.
I'm sorry but this really pisses me off. I'm positive that my house fee trumps your cover charge. I will sit where ever I please. If youre not comming into the strip club for the strippers, then why are you there? You have good friends there? Are they dancers you spend money on/ tip/ buy drinks for? You know the bartender? The one..you..tip? Or is it the amazing amount of half naked beautiful women there putting on a show for free? Guess what, its not free. So.. dancers get paid by.. talking.. to...customers..at..the..bar. Um, thats you.
SometimeVoyager
06-06-2008, 06:11 AM
Many dancers also have a list of lines to get a guy to let them sit down with them..."I've been here for hours and I just want to rest my feet..." or "Do you mind if I just sit with you so I don't look like I'm desperate for customers..." or "I'm bored, do you mind if I sit..."
I understand it's your job to try to find an approach to get a guy to buy drinks or dances, but don't be surprised when guys say "sure, have a seat" out of politeness. It's the seasoned patron who knows your routine and understands that you would rather hear "no" so you can move on.
bem401
06-06-2008, 06:34 AM
There is no answer that will work in all situations. I had a girl a couple of nights ago who was offended when I told her I was waiting for someone else. She came over and made small talk and I could see her building up to the dance request. Where are you from ? What brings you here? That sort of stuff. I said "I am here to see if so-and-so is working, she's a friend of mine". She responded " so you want me to get the fuck away?" I told her I didn't care what she did but i didn't want her to waste her time.
VegasPrincess
06-06-2008, 10:34 AM
In all reality, ANY way you say "NO" is motr polite than wasting somebody's time when you don't want a dance from them.
"Hi! May I join you" Is really just stripper language for "Hi! Would you like to spend some money on me?"
The best response is "No thank you sweetheart." If you want to give the girl a couple bucks, that's cool. If you don't, that's cool too. It sort of depends what kind of club you're in; if you were in my club, you'd spend A LOT of money tipping girls to go away, lol. If you were in a small club, you wouldn't have that problem and since the setting is more intimate, it is a nice gesture.
Try to avoid saying NO as the stripper comes up and approaches you. There are tons of guys lately it seems that when you approach them, they just literally put their hand out and start shaking their head no! I always say to guys like that," No to what I didn't ask anything?" And then I walk away. Wait for them to speak to you, and politely acknolwedge them, and then say "No thank you sweetie, I'm not interested in company right now."
Please don't say, "No thanks, you're not my type...." or anything along those lines. It's just rude. I once had a guy say to me, "No thanks I only like really skinny girls" UMMM....Thanks, dude. I know I am not everybody's type, but it's really not polite to verbalize it.
If a girl ever gets pissed that you say no to her, she's fucking stupid. You're telling her you aren't going waste her time, and that's awesome!
There are tons of guys out there who intentionally string us along so we sit with them for free... I would much rather know that you're a "NO" right off the bat!
Fairbay
06-06-2008, 10:58 AM
Same here. I've never felt insulted any of the times I've been tipped.
I *have* felt pissed when a customer used passive aggressive body language to say no instead of a simple, direct line.
That was YOU?!
Well, to that I say:
[Turns shoulders away passive-aggressively.]
al_bundy
06-06-2008, 11:51 AM
Dont go to a strip club if you dont want girls to talk to you. Period.If you are going to be pissy because a girl is doing her job...what you SHOULD be there for..then please...for all our sakes..stay the hell at home
most of the ones who use that line aren't anyone i would want to sit with much less get naked. if your to fat & ugly to be a stripper maybe you should stay the hell home for all our sakes.
the club i hangout at has an atmosphere very similar to a neighborhood bar. there is usually a large group of people at the bar who are there to drink & chat while tipping the stages.
i don't pay cover so i'm sure your house fee trumps that but i do drop about $200-300 on drinks & the same on dances
CuriousSeeker
06-06-2008, 12:02 PM
Well, to that I say:
[Turns shoulders away passive-aggressively.]
This is where I tip my hat (I luuurves my cowgirl outfit) and say "Harumph" to you too.
}:D
:-*
Jenny
06-06-2008, 12:09 PM
AB - Let's try to keep the conversation seemly, shall we? The topic is not "let's talk about overweight strippers and say mean things!" Please nobody start that topic - just by the way.
Fairbay
06-06-2008, 01:40 PM
This is where I tip my hat (I luuurves my cowgirl outfit) and say "Harumph" to you too.
}:D
:-*
Sorry I beat you in the hat department too:
CuriousSeeker
06-07-2008, 11:52 AM
http://www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50247564/Flashing_Fiber_Optic_Wizard_Hat.jpg
Wow, it's big. It's so big, biggest hat I've ever seen. You're...it's SO huge.
Samba
06-07-2008, 03:50 PM
I said "I am here to see if so-and-so is working, she's a friend of mine". She responded " so you want me to get the fuck away?" I told her I didn't care what she did but i didn't want her to waste her time.
Every time I want to mouth off to a nice customer for not wanting my company, I'm going to remember how pathetic it sounds and smile and move on.
the club i hangout at has an atmosphere very similar to a neighborhood bar. there is usually a large group of people at the bar who are there to drink & chat while tipping the stages.
It's almost like you think strippers are inconsequential at a strip club. They aren't. Unless it's a stage-only club, stage dancing only provides the atmosphere to keep guys in the club to spend money on dancers, and at the bar. If you can take the entertainment or leave it, there are fine establishments in every city that cater to men who don't want to be bothered by woman- GAY BARS!
Richard_Head
06-07-2008, 05:50 PM
The wanna dance is easy to say no thank you to since it's so direct. It's the indirectness of the Can I sit that makes saying no difficult.I would assume that's the reason that many dancers use that line instead of "do you want a dance?".
Samba
06-07-2008, 06:21 PM
^^ that, and a lot of guys who won't get a dance right that second will warm to it after talking to you for a few minutes. That's why it's frustrating when a guy flat out turns you away. But if he isn't on the fence, it's better to know right away.
thechaosfairy
06-08-2008, 11:42 PM
Woot, good protocol!
As for my two cents (heh) on tipping when you say no: If you tip me a dollar and say no, I take it as courtesy; if you tip more, I take it as potential future interest -- like, "Not today, but ask again some time when my favorite isn't here," something like that.
Fairbay
06-09-2008, 06:44 AM
Wow, it's big. It's so big, biggest hat I've ever seen. You're...it's SO huge.
I'm compensating. Look at the bright flashy hat girls!
msonyxorb
06-16-2008, 04:10 AM
this wouldnt be such a big problem if customers went up the girls they did want to dance with instead of waiting for them to come to them. seriously i dont understand why so many guys just sit on their asses rejecting girl after girl if they already have an eye out for someone else. if you are so picky that you are still shopping for that perfect girl who would never give you the time of day in real life because shes so much fucking hotter than you will every be, then sit on the stage for a while and you wont be bothered. i think the reason why some girls get offended when you say no is because you might look like you dont have the right to be so picky. overall though its always better to say "no" or "i am waiting for someone else" than to try to be polite about it.
Also, I know this wasnt mentioned, but please never ever touch is if you are rejecting us. Actually dont touch us at all unless we are dancing for you and you are paying us, but please do not touch us if you dont even want to dance with us. I found a lot of guys will like rub my arm or w/e to be "polite" when they say no. It infuriates me. Touching me is not free.
msonyxorb
06-16-2008, 04:12 AM
most of the ones who use that line aren't anyone i would want to sit with much less get naked. if your to fat & ugly to be a stripper maybe you should stay the hell home for all our sakes.
the club i hangout at has an atmosphere very similar to a neighborhood bar. there is usually a large group of people at the bar who are there to drink & chat while tipping the stages.
i don't pay cover so i'm sure your house fee trumps that but i do drop about $200-300 on drinks & the same on dances
so what you are saying is that when a guy says no to a girl it means she is too fat and ugly to be a stripper. no wonder girls are getting offended at being told no, you are basically implying that they are fat and ugly.
i really find it hilarious that a guy who has to pay girls to spend time with him thinks he has the right to insult other girls who are more likely much better looking than he will ever be.
SPLUT
06-16-2008, 08:53 AM
"You might look like you don't have the RIGHT to be so picky"? sheesh!
pootcacti1
06-16-2008, 12:08 PM
i say something different..
If a girl asks if she can make me company and sit down, i say:
"i dont need company right now, but if YOU need company,go ahead" its kind of like a no but more polite. and it puts the ball on her court instead of mine. Actually most of the time it doesnt work, the girl still sits down.lol. But dont be surprised if i say no to a dance.
CuriousSeeker
06-16-2008, 12:50 PM
"i dont need company right now, but if YOU need company,go ahead" its kind of like a no but more polite. dont be surprised if i say no to a dance.
Fair enough. I would definitely get the hint from that.
phonehome
06-23-2008, 12:11 PM
I don'tknow if this helps this convo or not but I find that more often than not the ones that you REALLy don't want sitting with you are the ones most likely not to ask, they just sit down, when the waitress then comes over a millisecond later pretty much orders her own drink which of course you end up paying for because you don't want a confrontation and or being asked to leave. Then no matter how bad you ignore them you can not get them to leave.
I would also agree with the idea that you shouldn't feel compelled to tip "just because you asked" funny how dancers on here for the most part rant about how they hate doing "dollar dances" but then at least some of them think it is OK to get the same amount "just because they asked"
I also do not feel compelled to tip every dancer when she is on stage. If you are not my type then you are not my type. That is not my fault. If you don't get tipped on stage often enough and don't sell dances often enough maybe that will tell you that you are in the wrong line of work or at least in the wrong location.
hot4ablackchick
06-23-2008, 01:20 PM
I don'tknow if this helps this convo or not but I find that more often than not the ones that you REALLy don't want sitting with you are the ones most likely not to ask, they just sit down, when the waitress then comes over a millisecond later pretty much orders her own drink which of course you end up paying for because you don't want a confrontation and or being asked to leave. Then no matter how bad you ignore them you can not get them to leave.
I would also agree with the idea that you shouldn't feel compelled to tip "just because you asked" funny how dancers on here for the most part rant about how they hate doing "dollar dances" but then at least some of them think it is OK to get the same amount "just because they asked"
I also do not feel compelled to tip every dancer when she is on stage. If you are not my type then you are not my type. That is not my fault. If you don't get tipped on stage often enough and don't sell dances often enough maybe that will tell you that you are in the wrong line of work or at least in the wrong location.
Ok, yeah it does suck when a girl just plops down, I can see how that can be awkward, but don't let her sit. Speak up and say "I'm sorry but I'm waiting for X," or "I want to be alone/watch stage/relax." If a girl just plops down and doesn't get the point, I wouldn't reward bad, rude behavior with money/drinks.
Now as for the stage tipping, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't sit at the rail if you are not going to tip every dancer. If a girl is obviously very drunk, smelly, or has some sort of serious problem, then ok, but for the most part every dancer is worthy of a tip. I find it ridiculous that men think they are entitled to those seats for free. You know that every girl that comes up is not going to be your type, and you may not even find them attractive, so if it would pain you that much to give money to a girl that wasn't your type then stay out of the tiprail. It is rude and plain disrespectful.
phonehome
06-23-2008, 07:42 PM
My experience is that the majority of the ones that sit down un-invited don't take the hint when you try to nicley tell them that you are not interested ot waiting for someone else or whatever. More than once I remember hearing the response "well I just wait here with you" Besides by then that drink that you didn't order is either on the way or has arrived.
There has been times when I would pretty much as soon as she sat down say I had to go to the bathroom and took my time coming back, even go so far as if I happened to see a girl knew from before, buy a dance or two with her so I could avoid going back longer.
As far as the tipping thing goes I have never been a sit at the stage guy. I normally have a table and if I like the girl on stage I will walk up and tip her, if it is one of my faves I would sit there for her entire set but that would be about it.
bem401
06-24-2008, 05:42 AM
Now as for the stage tipping, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't sit at the rail if you are not going to tip every dancer. If a girl is obviously very drunk, smelly, or has some sort of serious problem, then ok, but for the most part every dancer is worthy of a tip. I find it ridiculous that men think they are entitled to those seats for free. You know that every girl that comes up is not going to be your type, and you may not even find them attractive, so if it would pain you that much to give money to a girl that wasn't your type then stay out of the tiprail. It is rude and plain disrespectful.
I don't think you should have to tip every dancer, as long as you visit the dancer of your choice, tip her, and exit the stage area when you're done. I don't feel other dancers are entitled to a tip just because they happen to be sharing stage sets with the one I'm interested in. Of course, in clubs where there is one girl on stage at a time, this is non-applicable. I will generally only visit the stage when the girl I'm interested in is unoccupied, but on those occasions where things don't go smoothly and a strange dancer ends up in front of me, I agree it would be rude not to tip.
hot4ablackchick
06-24-2008, 12:07 PM
^^Thats fine, if you go up and tip a particular dancer, then return to your seat when you are done. I said it was rude to SIT at the rail and not tip girls simply because they weren't your type and take up seats for paying customers and watch girls for free and not tip. Going up for your fave and then leaving is not the same thing.
UtahMike
06-24-2008, 12:53 PM
I don'tknow if this helps this convo or not but I find that more often than not the ones that you REALLy don't want sitting with you are the ones most likely not to ask, they just sit down, when the waitress then comes over a millisecond later pretty much orders her own drink which of course you end up paying for because you don't want a confrontation and or being asked to leave.
Well, if having a dancer sit down with me would actually mean that the cocktail waitress would arrive immediately, that would be a good enough reason for me. I have wasted much more time in strip clubs waiting for the waitress to take my order or bring my drink than I have shooing off dancers from my table.
I would never tell a dancer she is not my type, because I have learned that sometimes after I have seen the rest of the dancers, she will actually be the girl I want. I do usually like to see a girl dance on stage before I ask her for a dance, but this is mainly because pierced nipples are a big turnoff for me, so I don't like to be surprised with them after I've paid for three dances.
bem401
06-25-2008, 05:46 AM
^^Thats fine, if you go up and tip a particular dancer, then return to your seat when you are done. I said it was rude to SIT at the rail and not tip girls simply because they weren't your type and take up seats for paying customers and watch girls for free and not tip. Going up for your fave and then leaving is not the same thing.
No argument here, but the behavior you describe is not one I remember actually ever seeing. But then, I'm not really paying close attention either.
fancygirl
06-25-2008, 11:26 AM
Hey Rooster!
I thought about you the other day when I saw a boxed collection of Elvis pez dispensers.
thought to myself: I know who'd like these!
rooster470
06-25-2008, 05:24 PM
^^^^^^
LOL and every time I see something bright and shiny I think of you. :)
*lust*
06-25-2008, 06:41 PM
To answer the main question, I think the little white lie of "I'm waiting for someone else" is best.
Most girls I know have respect for each other and their customers and leave it be at that.
If she rebuts with "Who are you waiting for?" "I'll find her" or "I'll wait with you until she comes" then say "I'll be able to find her myself, but thanks" or simply "I'll be fine, but thanks."
Almost everything else can possibly be misconstrued as a personal rejection, IMO.
veronicachick
06-25-2008, 07:11 PM
so what you are saying is that when a guy says no to a girl it means she is too fat and ugly to be a stripper. no wonder girls are getting offended at being told no, you are basically implying that they are fat and ugly.
i really find it hilarious that a guy who has to pay girls to spend time with him thinks he has the right to insult other girls who are more likely much better looking than he will ever be.
I know right... exactly what I was thinking.
I won't lie... it does bother me a little when a customer says he doesn't want me to sit with him... sometimes I feel as if maybe I'm not attractive enough or something. but you know what... after about 10 seconds that feeling passes :)
I'd much rather have a guy say "No thanks... I'm just hanging out right now" than waste my time because honestly.... we(dancers and customers) know what "Can I sit with you?" really means.. no girl wants to sit with a customer unless it's eventually going to lead to some money making. so help us out. just say no if you dont plan on spending money.
Gabrielle MB
06-26-2008, 04:54 AM
So... tonight I went up to a customer who was sitting by himself. I said, "Hi there, would you like some company?" He looked at me straight in the eye with a huge smile (kinda the way you would look at a friend you just ran into who you haven't seen in awhile) and said, "I really appreciate you asking, but I think I'm okay for right now." And looked away, back towards the stage. I said, "Okay, maybe later?" He just kinda nodded and smiled while continuing to look at the stage. I was A' Okay with this. He acknowledged me, was kind, but still got his point across loud and clear. It made me think of this thread.
UtahMike
06-27-2008, 12:30 PM
Anyone who works in sales of any kind had better get used to being turned down more than you are told yes. When you are turned down, you should appreciate it, because you are not wasting your time making a sales presentation to someone who is not going to buy anyway, and you can get on to the next customer more quickly.