View Full Version : Stupid Me....
MissDewdrop
06-12-2008, 04:26 AM
Paige, it's normal to feel despondent after a breakup, but the pain will get better. This guy is not perfect, else he wouldn't have dumped you in the first place for such an inane reason. He was accepting the version of you that he created in his mind rather than the real you. The real you is an awesome and powerful person, something pretty much everyone on this board can confirm.
Self-sufficiency is hard with health problems, especially in today's economy. Of course it's something to work towards, but lots of people struggle and achieve it after a process of mini-goals rather than overnight. His expectations were, in other words, unreasonable and untenable. Your worth is evident in the many people you have advised on this board over the years and the personality you exude. His critique of you is not you.
You rock.
phillyvixen
06-12-2008, 05:40 AM
I hope you're ok
I'm sorry you are hurting
thefrog
06-12-2008, 07:15 AM
has anyone heard from Paige ??
Blade
06-12-2008, 07:23 AM
I just texted her and havent heard back yet. I will be trying to contact her thru the day
thefrog
06-12-2008, 07:32 AM
thanks for keeping us informed.
Joplin
06-12-2008, 09:33 AM
Umm...Really scary thread.
I hope you're okay Paige. Please text blade back or write something here and let us know your still with us.
velvet
06-12-2008, 10:24 AM
i just called too. i got the voice mail. i wish i would have stayed up late last night. i only live 20 mins from her.
blondi553
06-12-2008, 10:29 AM
omg....this is a horrible thread! any updates?
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 10:30 AM
^^Is is possible to pop by her house? She may be fine, but I wish she would SAY something and then we can stop worrying (as much).
velvet
06-12-2008, 10:34 AM
i dont know the apt number. just where the apts are. i've never been to her apt.
unfortunaly that is a large complex. i'm not even sure what she drives.
ViolaStrings
06-12-2008, 10:36 AM
Fuck this guy. Move on.
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 10:38 AM
i dont know the apt number. just where the apts are. i've never been to her apt.
unfortunaly that is a large complex. i'm not even sure what she drives.
Damn. I hate those large complexes.
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 10:44 AM
Would an 'Any info on Paige?' thread be out of order in case anyone not checking this DOES know where she lives or has some other contact info for her?
Vyanka
06-12-2008, 10:48 AM
You don't need this dirtball who makes you feel low. If someone truely loves you, that's the last fucking thing they'd do to you. He's telling you you're not good enough???? Who the hell does he think he is... Fuck him!! You deserve the best.... all of us good women do. You are beautiful inside and out, remember that! ;)
Feel better, & i'm sending you a hug. :-*
Glamgirl
06-12-2008, 10:54 AM
I'm so sorry your hurting, no guy should make you feel this way. Everyone loves you here because you are a wonderful woman :) xx
PaigeDWinter
06-12-2008, 11:29 AM
I had my phone off. Just wanted to sit and cry alone, yanno? I'm here. I feel like a hollow... something but. yeah. Gotta make myself go to werk now. we're gonna fix this, whether he likes it or not.
ViolaStrings
06-12-2008, 11:37 AM
^ dude, I would move on. Good relationships are where you and the other person make each other the best versions of yourselves. He's not doing that for you. He sounds emotionally abusive by making you feel inferior. It's better to be on your own.
PaigeDWinter
06-12-2008, 11:40 AM
Its my fault for trying to explain while drunk. He wants me to be a stable, independent, positive person. And I'm really not at this point. I'm not domestic at all, I'm lazy. He was right in saying that he doesn't want to be with someone that he can't see himself being with long term, and that right now I would NOT make a good mom. He works 7 days a week, I work 2 - 4. He pays for all bills, food, etc. All he expects me to do is keep house and pay my car bills, which are to my ex since the car is still his. he wants me to be a responsible adult and I don't fault him. I just wish he'd give me another chance WHILE I'm trying to better myself.
And it's not like I can easily move on, not with all my belongings, 3 cats, and minimal funds.
jasmine
06-12-2008, 11:41 AM
I'm so glad you are ok Paige! As for fixing things. I have no doubt that you can fix whatever you put your mind to. Just make sure it is worth the time and effort to do so.
Hope you feel better and everything works out the way you want!
cherry_sin
06-12-2008, 11:44 AM
PAIGE IS OKAY!
Paige, I meant it, I don't mind your kitties. You can come on out here anytime. I have a couple extra bedrooms.
Chrissy68
06-12-2008, 11:50 AM
As do I my love.^^
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 12:00 PM
Yay, you're okay! I have no extra rooms, but you could visit my student hovel anytime.
PaigeDWinter
06-12-2008, 12:04 PM
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 12:06 PM
:grouphug: We were so worried about you!
PaigeDWinter
06-12-2008, 12:09 PM
I'm sorry, I didnt mean it :(
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 12:11 PM
I'm sorry, I didnt mean it :(
It's okay, you're here!
Blade
06-12-2008, 12:13 PM
man i was tryin to figure out how to track ya in fla. I worried about you, guess that means youre a friend.sorry i cussed at ya in my first voicemail haha
ViolaStrings
06-12-2008, 12:15 PM
You're fabulous. You'll be fine either way.
RoseLeigh
06-12-2008, 12:23 PM
You're fabulous. You'll be fine either way.
So true. There's nothing wrong with becoming a better, more capable person, but it sounds like you needed a bit of downtime what with moving and health issues, not a lot of pressure.
TheTempest
06-12-2008, 12:27 PM
Man, I can't go a day without checking SW. Something bad always seems to happen!!
Paige honey, I'm also glad you're OK. And I can see how you might want to better yourself, but I don't think you should do it for him because obviously he has no interest in helping you to become a more stable person if he is doing this.
I mean, who says to someone "I want you to have a financially stable life ... so I'm going to remove all the stability you've worked to create and force you to start over in debt and struggle".
Yeah. Asshole.
Bella21
06-12-2008, 12:29 PM
Ahhh, Paige you scared me!
No one's allowed to do that again. Ever.
britt244
06-12-2008, 12:31 PM
this is someone you called your sugar daddy. they have shelf lives. i wouldnt work too hard trying to fix this one.
noelle
06-12-2008, 01:21 PM
I'm glad to hear you're okay, Paige. Please stay strong and focus on YOU.
snoopy
06-12-2008, 01:36 PM
You never ever become perfect for someone else. You can only become someone else for YOU. If you don't like it, accept it or change it. That's how it has to be but NOBODY has the right to change you but yourself.qft!
take care of yourself, paige!
Blade
06-12-2008, 07:39 PM
I just want to say, Paige has a sexy fuckin phone voice! I could listen to her read war and peace over the phone and get wood.
fluffypenguin
06-12-2008, 08:20 PM
Babe, if you were as worthless as you think you are there wouldn't be 4 pages of people panicking and worrying about you.
You can crawl out of the hole you are in, listen to everyone who cares about you, don't listen to the moron who obviously doesn't.
You are a fantastic person, what you see as faults are what makes you special.
Hang in there.
Casey4Now
06-12-2008, 09:00 PM
Paige, I know I am not a regular poster, but I am a regular lurker, I have seen your weight loss and transformation and it is AWESOME. (just give me your ass and I will make 1,000,000,000.00 +. ) He is naressiccetic (sp) You are so beautiful. Please gain the confidece you deserve and and had and get back to being PAIGE! Right now GDI!
head turner
06-13-2008, 03:32 AM
find an equal who loves you for you. Not a sugar daddy with demands.
Why the hell is he at your gf's?(twins) If it is what I think it is, SAY ADIOS motherfucker!
You deserve greater things, this is your journey...
Violet Harley
06-13-2008, 08:33 AM
Paige. Whoa! Hold the horses here!
First off. I've been lurking here for a LONG time and I don't post often (today seems to be bringing me out of my shell for some reason!) BUT...from what I've seen and read of you, you are an amazing and cool person who I wish I knew IRL. (You're not that far from me though, I too am in FL.)
I don't know your situation with this guy, but from what I've seen of your posts recently, you've had a LOT on your plate, between finances, health, moving house, etc. And now he's adding to the stress by being a bozohead?
Pardon my french, but screw that noise. He does NOT deserve someone as cool and fun as you are. You WILL find someone better (I know it doesn't seem that way, but your time will come) and it will be HIS loss.
Take care of yourself, K? Glad to see you're ok today too...I was one of the nervous nellies when you were AWOL.
Feel free to PM if you like or need to vent.
Jenny
06-13-2008, 08:55 AM
Well sometimes people have fights, and ugliness ensues, and that is not necessarily the end of the relationships. So I'm not urging you to leave him.
But.
It can be very draining to be that dependent on someone. Like is an arrangement where you keep the house while working part time unreasonable? No (I mean, we all know that most women in a relationship do that whether they are working part time, full or not at all). However, examine the likelihood that you are going to be happy being treated like an employee (an unpaid employee) rather than a partner - keep in mind that a live in maid doesn't work for room and board - she is paid as well. As well, examine the possibility that you are going to become more self-sufficient, positive and happy while this guy is fostering your dependence. Like while it is not terrible that you want to repair the relationship and move on, it's a little awful that you feel you have to because you can't afford to have him leave you. I've been there. It's awful, and trust me - it is not the road to either mental or physical health. It is a downward, self-loathing spiral.
Maybe the answer for you is multiple part time jobs, so you are not so dependent on one stream of income? Like I seem to remember you had a fairly wide background - you used to work with animals didn't you?
PaigeDWinter
06-13-2008, 11:10 AM
^^^ Right now I have 2 jobs that I do weekly. I could try for another, 3 jobs at once isn't unknown to me.
UtahMike
06-13-2008, 02:38 PM
I am so glad you are OK. I was SO worried about you, but traveling yesterday i could not get on the Internet to check. So I worried the whole time instead.
I'd say this: even if you stay with this guy (and since you seem to like him I am not going to say what I think about him), do whatever you need to do to become financially independent. Then, you would be staying because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.
Take care of yourself, bb. I loves ya.
Optimist
06-13-2008, 03:53 PM
You need a mate who is supportive of your emotional and financial issues. This guy doesn't seem to be since he can't see the difference between laziness and depression. I'd be cautious about expecting him to be there long term until he does understand. Maybe a trip to a therapist is in order so he'll understand. And not for nothin but he sounds like a workaholic with issues of his own. Number one is insensitivity to his own needs. He can't give sensitivity he doesn't have.
PaigeDWinter
06-13-2008, 09:34 PM
FFS he wont even sit in the same room with me. I cant do this. he has to love me or I'm done.
PaigeDWinter
06-13-2008, 10:53 PM
I fucked up and regressed. This is bad. This is really bad.
Blade
06-14-2008, 02:30 AM
FFS he wont even sit in the same room with me. I cant do this. he has to love me or I'm done.
I fucked up and regressed. This is bad. This is really bad.regression is a normal part of progression. Paige you can survive without him loving you, there is ALWAYS another way. You need to look deep inside and find the strength we all know ya have. You are a survivor and unfortunately to survive means you have to go thru hell.Heck Ive offered ya a place to crash til yer on your feet and Dea has agreed that she should be able to help get ya hired at the bank, so there's an option right there.Hell we can even help ya get an apt in our crappy place, weve been here long enough.
Just think positive hun and if ya need a shoulder, you know how to reach me.
Optimist
06-14-2008, 09:27 AM
^^^^^^^See, this could be the start of a beautiful new begininning. You can do ANYTHING! You hear that knocking? It's opportunity, girlie! There's a big world of supportive people out there waiting to help you do whatever you set your heart to.
PaigeDWinter
06-14-2008, 08:06 PM
I du nwant a new beginning. I judt want ti sleeo forever, everyon e hates ,me.
TheTempest
06-14-2008, 08:07 PM
I don't hate you!! (Yay I'm first to correct your incorrect statement!!)
PaigeDWinter
06-14-2008, 08:20 PM
So the Twin now hates me. Fun. And her friends, who were my friends too... now hate me.