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madmaxine
06-22-2008, 11:10 PM
A lot of men don't know their strength. I could not allow a man to strike me.

Any man who has to rough up a woman to get what he wants/needs...is not a man.

I actually dumped a guy for repeatedly handling loaded firearms in an unsafe fashion in my presence (& I also saw a lot of warning signs in him of a controlling-abuser personality)....Would I ever allow that kind of conduct around me? NO.

LadyLuck
06-22-2008, 11:14 PM
Another none of the above here. Respect and honesty are a must have for me. Anything less just would never be acceptable.

LadyM
06-23-2008, 10:05 PM
Im a bit reluctant to say exactly just because my profile here is not very anonymous and there are reasons including work reasons that I cant really say too much.

I am ok thanks ladies!!

someone mentioned hitting things. say a wall was punched really hard?? i mean i understand getting angry but things like this can be scary for the other person.:'(

I've hit a wall or two in my day when I've been REALLY pissed rather than risk taking it out on the other person. But if this a common thing, RUN, do not walk out of there.

And if it's anything more, or if it's even verbal or financial abuse (controlling someone's money, etc) don't run, fly the fuck out of there!

thechaosfairy
06-24-2008, 02:21 AM
It would seriously depend.

A single incident followed by a lot of communication and setting of ground rules (not just "that was bad, I won't do it again" but exploring to figure out why it happened and understanding exactly how fucked up things were and how to prevent future problems) wouldn't make me leave someone. Any kind of repeated physical violence and most kinds of repeated verbal violence would.

I have had a serious temper problem throughout a lot of my life. I have had a good relationship where there were eruptions of verbal nastiness on both sides and once or twice I took it out physically by slapping or throwing something like a stuffed animal. We were pretty shocked and horrified about it and sorted out why our arguments were hitting so many emotional triggers and did not have problems again.

Although I do think that a certain amount of arguing can be perfectly healthy in a relationship -- like Jenny is talking about at the top there. In my present relationship we do say mean things sometimes when arguing, but there's a certain line that shouldn't be crossed, and we've gotten better over time about not crossing it, learning through experience. And I agree -- saying mean things when NOT directly arguing is a bad warning sign.

Another thing: the absolute wall for me is at physical harm, or any intentional act that the person doing it knows full well could lead to physical harm. Punching, choking, intentional shoving, throwing anything that's NOT a stuffed animal, anything whatsoever involving a weapon or improvised weapon... That's one-strike-and-you're-out.

Oh, and controlling behavior sends me running for the hills.

ediblecrayonz
06-24-2008, 09:10 AM
It only gets worse. My sister was married to an abusive man, and stayed with him until the day he chased her around the house with a knife. Don't put up with it. You could end up dead. No lie.

Aprilleigh
06-26-2008, 11:01 PM
jaiziane.....do you still have the same phone number......?

sexy_celeste
06-27-2008, 04:29 AM
Anything that is less than 100% respectful and considerate of me would be a dealbreaker.

Im with Yek on this, but I have to add that we DO call each other names in jest, Ill say things like "get your bitch ass in the kitchen"

No more than the usual banter though.

**kImBerLee**
06-28-2008, 03:05 PM
I beleive that if a man hits you, he's not a man and does not deserve a woman! also, remember verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse!

PLEASE DO NOT PUT UP WITH ANY KIND OF ABUSE!!!!

Yekhefah
06-28-2008, 03:45 PM
Im with Yek on this, but I have to add that we DO call each other names in jest, Ill say things like "get your bitch ass in the kitchen"

No more than the usual banter though.

Oh sure, everybody does that, I think. We swat each other and call each other "dork," "asshole," etc. but we're laughing and it's all affectionate. I'm talking about actually putting someone down; THAT's not cool.