View Full Version : i don't know about some porn actresses...
malloryknox
07-08-2008, 11:22 PM
I'm quoting you since it's easier than typing it all out on my own.
I'm not even gonna touch some of the stuff in this thread. I just know that my self esteem is ok, I've never done anything I didn't want to do, and I can look at myself in the mirror and feel fine. And while I don't do some of the things that are considered 'extreme', chicks that do are fine by me. Everybody has a point where they draw the line, and it's a personal thing. Who am I to judge other chicks in the sex industry?
I don't mean to interject or offend you, recently you posted that you were severely depressed and thinking of cutting and engaging in self mutilation. Anyone who mutilates their
body or has thoughts of this cannot possibly have "ok self esteem".
Please don't feel as though I am persecuting you, for I have done the same
thing. And I know those feelings quite well.
I asked if you ever considered your environment to have anything to do with this.
You never replied. I was thinking that a person with a mental illness would not benefit from working in the sex industry, and that it could cause great harm to them. I suppose it could cause great harm to anyone.
I'm not an anti porn holly roller activist, just looking deeper into this issue.
Also, Viola Strings, thankyou for your post, it was insightful.
I get your point.
Havana
07-08-2008, 11:29 PM
I <3 Havana Ginger!!!
She's my stagename sake..
& we look somewhat similar...
she's awesome. <3
StarryEyes
07-08-2008, 11:31 PM
Hubby slaps my coochie, my ass, & my tits and I loooove it!!! I like to spank him too. :heartbeat:
And Rebecca, right on. FWIW, I always enjoy your posts.
UltraViolet
07-08-2008, 11:34 PM
Honestly, Ginger's videos really get me off :blush: So thanks Ginger! ;D
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 12:00 AM
the spitting thing is very recent for me. a guy spat on me for the first time during sex in april i think, and now i am a fiend for it.
haha. i fucked this cute 21 year old a few weeks ago and i spat in his face and he freaked out. hahahha. oops. i should maybe ask before doing that kind of thing.
The first time it happened did u ask the guy to do it? If not, were u shocked? I would think the person was trying to be mean or something.
PaigeDWinter
07-09-2008, 12:00 AM
I don't mean to interject or offend you, recently you posted that you were severely depressed and thinking of cutting and engaging in self mutilation. Anyone who mutilates their
body or has thoughts of this cannot possibly have "ok self esteem".
Please don't feel as though I am persecuting you, for I have done the same
thing. And I know those feelings quite well.
I asked if you ever considered your environment to have anything to do with this.
You never replied. I was thinking that a person with a mental illness would not benefit from working in the sex industry, and that it could cause great harm to them. I suppose it could cause great harm to anyone.
I'm not an anti porn holly roller activist, just looking deeper into this issue.
This is seriously off topic but I am going to respond anyways. You CAN cut and have a basically ok self esteem. Cutting does not always equal self hate. I also do not want this thread to get into a debate on this.
Corgan
07-09-2008, 12:01 AM
me either! i like my threads staying open.
Darcy Foxx
07-09-2008, 12:07 AM
The first time it happened did u ask the guy to do it? If not, were u shocked? I would think the person was trying to be mean or something.
well, we'd spoken a lot on msn about sex and how we liked it really dirty and stuff, and he'd told me before that he liked spitting, so i wasn't really shocked. i probably kind of expected it haha.
i think i just like it because it's dirty. i like degrading sex. i get off on being called a whore and a slut too hah.
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 12:08 AM
^^
thats what i was wondering if it was totally unexpected or not.
we all have our own fantasies. i am kind of ashamed to admit i like a guy to treat me like as if he is raping me - forcefully and im trying to push him off.
:-[
Darcy Foxx
07-09-2008, 12:09 AM
^^
thats what i was wondering if it was totally unexpected or not.
we all have our own fantasies. i am kind of ashamed to admit i like a guy to treat me like as if he is raping me - forcefully and im trying to push him off.
:-[
don't do sad face... that kind of thing is hot!
Havana
07-09-2008, 12:10 AM
Honestly, Ginger's videos really get me off :blush: So thanks Ginger! ;D
We talkin' bout the same Ginger?
If so... you've got dope taste! :)
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 12:11 AM
don't do sad face... that kind of thing is hot!
I feel bad for getting off on something which in reality is so horrible.
Havana
07-09-2008, 12:13 AM
^^
thats what i was wondering if it was totally unexpected or not.
we all have our own fantasies. i am kind of ashamed to admit i like a guy to treat me like as if he is raping me - forcefully and im trying to push him off.
:-[
Eh... this turns me on too. Not all the time, but it definitly works well sometimes.
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 12:15 AM
Yeh I dont like it all the time either. Shit im glad im not the only one.
Havana
07-09-2008, 12:27 AM
Yeh I dont like it all the time either. Shit im glad im not the only one.
Well... I'll take the shame, but one time I really wanted my ex bf to put on a ski mask and pretend he was a burglar... & well, yada yada... he laughed for like 30 minutes.
:-[
But he still did it! & It was pretty darn good.
;D
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 12:29 AM
^^
I love it!!
PaigeDWinter
07-09-2008, 12:39 AM
Eh... this turns me on too. Not all the time, but it definitly works well sometimes.
I dig it too.
Lysondra
07-09-2008, 12:48 AM
Yeh I dont like it all the time either. Shit im glad im not the only one.
I do too sweety. :)
UltraViolet
07-09-2008, 01:16 AM
I actually have those kinds of fantasies too Jai. (Also thought I was sick) Good to know I'm not alone! Although that's one fantasy for now that stays a fantasy in my head because it'd freak me out IRL.
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 01:46 AM
This is seriously off topic but I am going to respond anyways. You CAN cut and have a basically ok self esteem. Cutting does not always equal self hate. I also do not want this thread to get into a debate on this.
This is just to support that-- I had similar behaviors growing up, and while I didn't do it often it was as an outlet for times when I had very powerful feelings. To me it was a holy ritual almost, and while that might not be the same for everyone, from what I can recall as unbiased as possible (it was me after all :)) it had nothing to do with self-esteem. I was pretty average in that department, though now I've got a super stellar (for the most part) self-esteem.
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 01:47 AM
Hubby slaps my coochie, my ass, & my tits and I loooove it!!! I like to spank him too. :heartbeat:
And Rebecca, right on. FWIW, I always enjoy your posts.
oooo, I can haz coochie slapping?
love it. need more.
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 01:50 AM
I feel bad for getting off on something which in reality is so horrible.
well, it's not actually reality because you know you're safe and he'd stop if you really wanted him to.
It's not like you're trolling the back alleys purposefully trying to be raped by strangers who you couldn't stop if you tried.
totally different thing. that fantasy and other force/degrading type fantasies just has to do with the pleasure of relinquishing control in a safe arena.
think about it, as a stripper we have to be 100% on top of our game. you have to control how far you go, how far a guy goes, and you get to stop it at the drop of a hat.
being able to relinquish that power to a certain degree in our private lives is super hot, especially because of how much we have to be in control in our public work lives.
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 01:51 AM
^^^
that makes a lot of sense, seriously ;)
Lysondra
07-09-2008, 01:54 AM
I wonder if there are women who purposefully go around alleys in short skirts trying to get raped.
You know, now that I thought of it, I bet it happens.
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 01:56 AM
^^
wouldn't surprise me. Bet the attacker gets a surprise tho.
I just thought about the horny women who get tradesman over when they dont need them and try to get sex hehe. My friend is a plumber and told me a few stories.
i.breathe.in
07-09-2008, 01:57 AM
this is the most random thread lol...
Lysondra
07-09-2008, 01:58 AM
^^
wouldn't surprise me. Bet the attacker gets a surprise tho.
I just thought about the horny women who get tradesman over when they dont need them and try to get sex hehe. My friend is a plumber and told me a few stories.
Wait... does that work...?
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 02:04 AM
ahhh, so THAT'S how those stories in the Penthouse letters occur.... :seesaw:
p.s. after just looking at the smilies-- we need new different smilies.
we also need a smilie of two smellie characters (the purple lumpy ones. they've got a great batman smellie) humping.
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 02:05 AM
Wait... does that work...?
If u answered the door I highly suspect it would ;)
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 02:09 AM
^man, I wish I could get sent a hot plumber or AC man or something.
I never try to trick any service guys over, but damn....I really might consider it.
crap-- which means I need to get new bed linens if I'm ever going to contemplate having sex in it.
they're just not sex worthy....
Lysondra
07-09-2008, 02:35 AM
If u answered the door I highly suspect it would ;)
Awwww... thank you.
*breaks a pipe*.... *calls repairman*
gingerlee
07-09-2008, 08:29 AM
I don't mean to interject or offend you, recently you posted that you were severely depressed and thinking of cutting and engaging in self mutilation. Anyone who mutilates their
body or has thoughts of this cannot possibly have "ok self esteem".
Please don't feel as though I am persecuting you, for I have done the same
thing. And I know those feelings quite well.
I asked if you ever considered your environment to have anything to do with this.
You never replied. I was thinking that a person with a mental illness would not benefit from working in the sex industry, and that it could cause great harm to them. I suppose it could cause great harm to anyone.
I'm not an anti porn holly roller activist, just looking deeper into this issue.
Also, Viola Strings, thankyou for your post, it was insightful.
I get your point.
I don't cut because I have low self esteem. I cut because my coping mechanisms aren't exactly normal. I'm paranoid schizophrenic and while some poeple think me being in the sex industry can't be good for me, I'm doing better mentally now than I ever have. Part of it is the fact that I can work only when I feel like it and answer to nobody.
I've never cut because of anything that's happened at work, and dancing and doing porn are actually a really good motivator for not doing it. I used to cut every day, and I haven't done it in months because nobody wants to book the girl with cuts all over her arms and legs. So yeah, my self esteem is ok, and my environment isn't causing me to be depressed. The fact that I hear and see things all day is the reason for that.
/threadjack over
i.breathe.in
07-09-2008, 08:48 AM
I've never cut because of anything that's happened at work, and dancing and doing porn are actually a really good motivator for not doing it. I used to cut every day, and I haven't done it in months because nobody wants to book the girl with cuts all over her arms and legs. So yeah, my self esteem is ok, and my environment isn't causing me to be depressed. The fact that I hear and see things all day is the reason for that.
/threadjack over
QFT. its an emotional enema. you let the emotional hurt out with the physical. it doesnt have to have anything to do with low self esteem.
i got drunk one night after years of not cutting and cut myself, and boy did i have hard time trying to cover those for work. so yes work is a good deterrant for me to not cut also, though i dont do it as i did when i was younger.
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 08:53 AM
Im so proud of you Ginger. Seriously u know how awesome I think u r. Every time I'm having trouble with my own mental illness I think of u and what u cope with and how strong you are and it helps me. xoxo
CKXXX
07-09-2008, 09:23 AM
I just thought about the horny women who get tradesman over when they dont need them and try to get sex hehe. My friend is a plumber and told me a few stories.
HA..I made that movie!! A couple times! It's a VERY common fantasy for men AND women!
On the cutting thing..nothing to do with self esteem. A very good friend of mine started cutting(she has since stopped thank god) when her husband was killed suddenly. It was a way to deal with the intense pain she was feeling.
It's a control issue...not a self esteem issue for most.
I had the HOTTEST masseur last time I went to my spa...ugh...had the body of Mario Lopez and the face of an angel. Not really my type..but damn he was pretty. He asked if my last name was my maiden or married name...I thought he was flirting(I dont wear rings for a massage so they can do my fingers). But alas...no...I said it was my married name and my husband was Italian(my last name obviously doesnt suit me..I'm not Italian!LOL) and he said his wifes last name was the same so he was curious. Damn. Odd though..it's not a common name and hubby doesnt have any family here.
He was an awesome AMAZING masseur though and yum........it was a GOOD massage. I'll ask for him again since my ATF girl doesnt work there anymore.
I wanted SO bad to ask him to do a happy ending kind of movie with me.
I was a good girl and didnt though.(didnt tell him what I do)
Would have been a fun movie though.
StuartL
07-09-2008, 11:14 AM
Am looking in yellow pages to find out how to become a plumber... But no pictures of Lysondra in their ads. Hurrumph.
UtahMike
07-09-2008, 11:20 AM
In light of a recent thread on abuse...and the idea that a person should always be able to draw the line and say no...
How does a guy know when you are enjoying rough sex and not actually being abused?
How does a guy know when you are saying no as part of the fantasy of being raped and not actually being raped?
There was this one girl years ago whose mouth said no and whose body said yes, and I still worry now and then whether or not I raped her. She seemed pleased and happy after, and cuddled with me, but she did say no, and I did go on because I thought she didn't really mean it.
So, how does a guy know?
RebeccaSolidarity
07-09-2008, 12:18 PM
how does a guy know?
hmmmm.
the same way anyone involved in heavy kink should be able to know. you sit down with your partner and discuss it beforehand, discuss personal boundaries and desires in an open and honest manner. i mean, just winging it can be pretty hot and in many cases i know that is what i prefer to do but if someone wants to know for sure then upfront conversations are really in order. talking and talking deep is really the only way to know if someone is giving true consent or if that someone is just cooperating and i suppose it bears mentioning that cooperation and consent are not always the same thing. it is a trickie issue for sure. in other words: check in with the person and ask.
Jenny
07-09-2008, 01:35 PM
In light of a recent thread on abuse...and the idea that a person should always be able to draw the line and say no...
How does a guy know when you are enjoying rough sex and not actually being abused?
How does a guy know when you are saying no as part of the fantasy of being raped and not actually being raped?
There was this one girl years ago whose mouth said no and whose body said yes, and I still worry now and then whether or not I raped her. She seemed pleased and happy after, and cuddled with me, but she did say no, and I did go on because I thought she didn't really mean it.
So, how does a guy know?
You ask. Think of it this way - in acting out a rape fantasy you have code words. The word "no" is temporarily replaced with the word "red" (for example). It is still consensual. If her mouth said no, then there was no consent period. You consent with your mouth, not with your body. I mean, do you think, honestly, that guys should be going around evaluating whether or "no means no" or whether "no should mean no" based on his own criteria? Sex is not this conversational no man's land; you are allowed to talk about what you are doing; there is no excuse for ignoring what someone is saying in favour of what you think their body is saying.
LadyLuck
07-09-2008, 02:25 PM
i like degrading sex.
Once again I am left asking myself WHY does anyone like being degraded? I know this probably won't be a popular thing to say here in this topic but I'm going to risk it anyway. What the heck is going on within a persons self esteem and self worth (or I should say lack there of) that makes them need or want to be treated less than human?
And wtf, there are so many of you too! People I never would have guessed by your previous postings. You are all are so much better and more deserving of love that what you seem to think you are... it actually make my heart REALLY hurt for you that you think so little of yourselves :(
This whole thread has really just made me so very, very sad.
Seriously if it's that common no wonder there are so many men in the world who think it's ok to go around beating, commiting rapes and doing worse things to women. I mean why wouldn't they when there are a bunch of women going around doing and saying the things I've read here over the past few days.
I used to think violence against women was just some screwed up macho/ego issue some men have but now I know there is more to it and there are plenty of women out there who have just as much to do with it as the men.
Sirona
07-09-2008, 02:42 PM
Seriously if it's that common no wonder there are so many men in the world who think it's ok to go around beating, commiting rapes and doing worse things to women. I mean why wouldn't they when there are a bunch of women going around doing and saying the things I've read here over the past few days.
I used to think violence against women was just some screwed up macho/ego issue some men have but now I know there is more to it and there are plenty of women out there who have just as much to do with it as the men.
Uhhhh there is a HUGE difference between a man physically assaulting a woman/raping her and consentual acts between adults.
There is NO comparison.
LadyLuck
07-09-2008, 03:12 PM
Uhhhh there is a HUGE difference between a man physically assaulting a woman/raping her and consentual acts between adults.
Well duh, I know that! I am wondering WHY you want to be treated so badly in the first place?
I am also saying that I am begining to understand why so many men are confused or start to think it's ok. Society tells them to not spit on, hit women etc. and even punishes them with jail time and then you all come along and tell them "no baby, it's ok, I like it". I then people go around wondering why a guy might not be sure if no actually means yes. Talk about mixed messages, sh*t!!!!
Do you all really not seeing any connection between the self mutilation, needing numerous drugs (prescription or otherwise), not being able to sleep properly, having poor body image or ED and having repeated bad relationships over and over and this whole allowing/asking oneself to be degraded during sex?
Have people here not noticed that many of you who say you want to be spit on, slapped called names etc. also share those other bonds as well?
Do you really think that is just a coincidence considering the various ages, nationality and other personal backgrounds involved here?
This isn’t judgment on my part- this is care and concern.
Sirona
07-09-2008, 03:51 PM
Well duh, I know that! I am wondering WHY you want to be treated so badly in the first place?
I am also saying that I am begining to understand why so many men are confused or start to think it's ok. Society tells them to not spit on, hit women etc. and even punishes them with jail time and then you all come along and tell them "no baby, it's ok, I like it". I then people go around wondering why a guy might not be sure if no actually means yes. Talk about mixed messages, sh*t!!!!
Do you all really not seeing any connection between the self mutilation, needing numerous drugs (prescription or otherwise), not being able to sleep properly, having poor body image or ED and having repeated bad relationships over and over and this whole allowing/asking oneself to be degraded during sex?
Have people here not noticed that many of you who say you want to be spit on, slapped called names etc. also share those other bonds as well?
Do you really think that is just a coincidence considering the various ages, nationality and other personal backgrounds involved here?
This isn’t judgment on my part- this is care and concern.
I can't see a guy getting confused or thinking it's ok to rape/beat women because some chick he was with liked to be called a dirty slut and get her hair pulled during sex or whatever.
In reality guys who beat and rape women do it for different reasons than the guy who's GF/wife likes rough/"degrading" sex.
There is a very clearly definable difference between a crime of violence and power and an act of lust and passion.
I dunno, it just seems like the "kinky sex leads to violent behavior" argument is too much like the "Ozzy makes you commit suicide" argument.
Know what I mean?
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 04:26 PM
Once again I am left asking myself WHY does anyone like being degraded? I know this probably won't be a popular thing to say here in this topic but I'm going to risk it anyway. What the heck is going on within a persons self esteem and self worth (or I should say lack there of) that makes them need or want to be treated less than human?
And wtf, there are so many of you too! People I never would have guessed by your previous postings. You are all are so much better and more deserving of love that what you seem to think you are... it actually make my heart REALLY hurt for you that you think so little of yourselves :(
This whole thread has really just made me so very, very sad.
Seriously if it's that common no wonder there are so many men in the world who think it's ok to go around beating, commiting rapes and doing worse things to women. I mean why wouldn't they when there are a bunch of women going around doing and saying the things I've read here over the past few days.
I used to think violence against women was just some screwed up macho/ego issue some men have but now I know there is more to it and there are plenty of women out there who have just as much to do with it as the men.
read my post on the previous page about rape fantasies and control. It helps to understand why some of us like being dominated above and beyond the usual woman's turn-on of having her hands placed over her head.
and just because I like being dominated (I don't think of it as degrading if it's something I want) doesn't mean I don't like to dominate the man sometimes too.
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 04:34 PM
Well duh, I know that! I am wondering WHY you want to be treated so badly in the first place?
I am also saying that I am begining to understand why so many men are confused or start to think it's ok. Society tells them to not spit on, hit women etc. and even punishes them with jail time and then you all come along and tell them "no baby, it's ok, I like it". I then people go around wondering why a guy might not be sure if no actually means yes. Talk about mixed messages, sh*t!!!!
Do you all really not seeing any connection between the self mutilation, needing numerous drugs (prescription or otherwise), not being able to sleep properly, having poor body image or ED and having repeated bad relationships over and over and this whole allowing/asking oneself to be degraded during sex?
Have people here not noticed that many of you who say you want to be spit on, slapped called names etc. also share those other bonds as well?
Do you really think that is just a coincidence considering the various ages, nationality and other personal backgrounds involved here?
This isn’t judgment on my part- this is care and concern.
my poor sleeping has to do with how wonky my schedule is and how many naps I take. I don't do drugs prescription or otherwise. the last time I self-mutilated was well over a decade ago. Bad relationships, yeah-- but then again, I know a LOT of women with that problem and ones who aren't dancers either. Myself-- I've been celibate for over a year and a half (despite some recent playtime that didn't culminate in sex) to try to curb my bad choice in men.
It's not degrading if it's what I want. as far as mixed messages, it's also a taboo thing too. and I don't know where you grew up-- but where I grew up it's generally taught that hitting anyone MALE or female is not exceptable and spitting definitely not. so I don't see it as a degrading thing to females. I scratch the shit out of my men (when I have them) because I just can't help myself. I bite them because I just can't help myself. It's very animalistic when it comes to good sex. Have you ever seen animals copulating? It's not like I'm trying to copy them, but it's never some peaceful lovemaking scene. It's dirty, noisy, and sometimes violent. Humans are animals. We do have the benefit of saying no (and I don't think of true rape as sex-- it's violence where the penis is the weapon to intimidate and to harm) during sex, and we figure out with our partners before hand (if that's the fantasy) if the word "no" is really going to signify the meaning "no" just like Jenny said.
Another thing I notice is that unless a guy "gets it" and likes it too, he's going to be crap at carrying out my commands (see? even though he's dominating me, in the end I still have a lot of control.)
For example, I had a bf a few years back (the one mentioned in the benediction to the newly married ex thread) who didn't "get" biting or assplay, so of course when he tried it didn't feel right and I just moved on to what we did well together.
RebeccaSolidarity
07-09-2008, 04:40 PM
Do you all really not seeing any connection between the self mutilation, needing numerous drugs (prescription or otherwise), not being able to sleep properly, having poor body image or ED and having repeated bad relationships over and over and this whole allowing/asking oneself to be degraded during sex?
Sure there is a connection: People with issues have amazing dirty hot sex.
Sorry, that was snarkie.
I am not going to pretend that I agree with anything you have to say about the relationship between so-called deviant sex practices and people having issues. I think that you must believe that these sexual practices are destructive and harming other people. You certainly seem to believe that it participates as the root cause for misogynist violence against women, indulging in some sort of philosophical game of blame the victim. Furthermore I think it is unfair of you to try and disempower people of their sexual expression.
The same thing happens with disabled people to be honest. Because someone possesses some sort of damage that person is not and cannot be in control of their desires and they are at risk of being taken advantage of unless we save them from themselves. That is what entire swaths of the population believe and it is applied to women who might have some issues all the time. I dislike seeing that sort of thing.
Woman have issues. Women have low self-esteem and bucketloads of shame and one in every three has some sort of post traumatic stress disorder and at least twenty percent of all women will suffer from clinical depression before they even leave their teenage years. Many more will give up the things they value in order to compromise with the very system which robs them of their dreams. Women have all of these issues and more.
It is called being a woman living within a patriarchal world. It sucks.
But it does not make a person dirty in bed. Okay maybe it makes some people dirty in bed but they are working out their shit in their own way and having fun while doing it. The point is that everyone has issues, and it is the rare and fortunate woman (let alone the rare person) who does not have some kind of issue that is somehow tied into sex. Here is the world we live in. Having issues is a symptom of living in it. But having dirty sex that leaves both participants satisfied is not.
Jenny
07-09-2008, 05:17 PM
I am also saying that I am begining to understand why so many men are confused or start to think it's ok. Society tells them to not spit on, hit women etc. and even punishes them with jail time and then you all come along and tell them "no baby, it's ok, I like it". I then people go around wondering why a guy might not be sure if no actually means yes. Talk about mixed messages, sh*t!!!!
I actually don't see that as a mixed message. One is "yes" and one is "no". It's a perfectly clear message. It's not like you're allowed to have tender, gentle sex with a woman against her will. It is not the character of the sex, but the consent that is at issue. Like I hear your concerns, and to some degree I may share them, but in this particular example I think you are the one confused. Nobody here is discussing what you might call "variables" of consent - things like coersion or capacity. This is all whole hearted and capable consent. And any guy who spits on a girl without permission because another girl liked it is a retard. And guy who chokes a girl without permission because another girl liked it is a retard. Much like a guy who had an arrangement with his ex girlfriend to act out a rape, with a suitable code word, doing the same with another girl but without arranging the code word before hand. I mean, for god's sake. This is hardly advanced socialization. Women are different individuals and will consent to different things.
Do you all really not seeing any connection between the self mutilation, needing numerous drugs (prescription or otherwise), not being able to sleep properly, having poor body image or ED and having repeated bad relationships over and over and this whole allowing/asking oneself to be degraded during sex?
In some cases here I would agree with you (and I'm not saying which ones). But in some cases, I wouldn't. I don't think you can generalize that broadly about what people like in bed and why. In some cases are they self-hating and looking to act that out? Sure. In some cases it could be as simple as being toilet trained while watching a violent cartoon. I mean there are reasons we all like what we like, even if it is just the missionary position.
LadyLuck
07-09-2008, 05:40 PM
indulging in some sort of philosophical game of blame the victim. Furthermore I think it is unfair of you to try and disempower people of their sexual expression.
I am doing neither.
I am asking or rather suggesting people explore a little deeper into the why factor, especially those who themselves call their preferred sexual expressions degrading. That is an empowering thing not disempowering.
I am also asking people to consider the consequences that their choices have or may have on themselves and others. And most of all I am expressing genuine concern for the many wonderful women posting here.
LadyLuck
07-09-2008, 05:46 PM
there are reasons we all like what we like, even if it is just the missionary position.
Exactly the point I am attempting to explore or rather suggest other people explore for themselves since I have and continue to do that for myself already.
LadyLuck
07-09-2008, 05:50 PM
Also I want to thank you ladies responding so far for not getting mean and nasty with me. I notice that opposing points of view often don't get treated with too much respect in internet forums and I appreciate the mature dialog going on right now in this discussion :)