View Full Version : i don't know about some porn actresses...
fancygirl
07-09-2008, 06:00 PM
I guess I feel like I'm more empowered by embracing what I like instead of apologizing it or trying to justify it.
I know why I like biting.
Not sure about assplay, but I figure it's because it's a whole new playground so that's new and exciting, plus there's an aspect of the taboo-- and who doesn't at several points in their life, not want to do what society tells them not to do?
I mean, society tells us that we shouldn't be stripping and that it degrades us and that only broken women can do it.
sooooo........I guess I just wouldn't ever apply that to the sex that's described here because there's some seriously more degrading sex out there that might raise my eyebrows, and might want to deconstruct psychologically. but I'd only do that for a brain teaser and not because I actually thought what I came up with applied to most of the people doing/enjoying it.
The stuff spoken about here is pretty effing vanilla in my opinion and while you might see it as degrading to the woman if it brings her pleasure-- why would you want to make someone second guess that and start getting all sorts of hang ups about what they already know they like?
I mean-- what does the fact that I like to be bit and pinned and have my hair pulled say about me? or the fact that I like anal? or that cum ON my body is kind of sexy?
I really could care less because I took stock of my inhibitions when I first started getting into (the admittedly only slightly) taboo sexual stuff and found that I was the only one holding me back, not society.
I'd be degraded if I let society's judgements keep me from enjoying what's pleasurable to me.
CKXXX
07-09-2008, 07:14 PM
Exactly the point I am attempting to explore or rather suggest other people explore for themselves since I have and continue to do that for myself already.
So..tell me..whats wrong with me that I prefer to be dominant.
Armchair psych is amusing
jaizaine
07-09-2008, 07:32 PM
As for my rape fantasy and I think UtahMike mentioned how would the guy know whether the woman is really consenting or not - well here is how it usually comes about (hehe how embarrassing).
Me: "Oh baby you're not getting any pussy today"
Him: "yes I am"
you can get the hint, it goes from there.
Also I don't know what point you're trying to get across Ladyluck with your observations. Who is denying having problems? We have support threads for eating disorders, depression and anxiety.
I have an eating disorder and an anxiety disorder. I personally don't like degrading sex. I would never tolerate a partner hurting me in any way during sex, I dont even like slapping that doesn't hurt.
But even if people do I still don't see the point that you're trying to make other than stating the obvious - some of us on SW have problems.
Yeh some people who struggle with low self esteem might also like degrading sex but people with normal self esteem might also like it.
Darcy Foxx
07-09-2008, 07:41 PM
I used to think violence against women was just some screwed up macho/ego issue some men have but now I know there is more to it and there are plenty of women out there who have just as much to do with it as the men.
you are comparing apples and oranges dude. i love being slapped and degraded in the bedroom by someone who has been given consent to do it.
i would NEVER tolerate someone hitting me outside of the bedroom without consent, or spitting in my face outside of the bedroom, or calling me a whore outside of the bedroom.
you're basically implying that anyone who lets a sexual partner slap them is also going to let guys physically abuse them. wrong wrong wrong.
i just like dirty sex. yeah, i probably have issues, but who the fuck cares. being slapped during sex gets me off, guys love it, i'm happy, my sex life is fun and extremely fucking satisfying, so even if it is related to any deep-set "issues" i may have they're certainly not things that i want to rectify because my sex life fucking ROCKS.
PaigeDWinter
07-09-2008, 08:09 PM
Well duh, I know that! I am wondering WHY you want to be treated so badly in the first place?
The word bad gets removed from the equation when you enjoy it. Simple as that.
I am also saying that I am begining to understand why so many men are confused or start to think it's ok. Society tells them to not spit on, hit women etc. and even punishes them with jail time and then you all come along and tell them "no baby, it's ok, I like it". I then people go around wondering why a guy might not be sure if no actually means yes. Talk about mixed messages, sh*t!!!!
If any human being cannot discern the difference between doing something someone does not want, and doing something someone does, they are fucked in the head. It isn't about mixed messages. It's like teaching a child when to be loud and when not to (ok only barely but)... You have to grasp the basic idea of what people will be ok with and not, when, and why.
Do you all really not seeing any connection between the self mutilation, needing numerous drugs (prescription or otherwise), not being able to sleep properly, having poor body image or ED and having repeated bad relationships over and over and this whole allowing/asking oneself to be degraded during sex?
Yes. A huge lack of connection.
Sirona
07-09-2008, 08:43 PM
You know, I was thinking and don't nor have I ever self mutilated, am on only 2 prescription drugs (one for allergies, one for asthma), I sleep properly, have good body image and don't nor have I ever had an ED and i've had one relationship that got bad (my marraige, and it was just total unhappiness, he didn't hit me or gamble or do drugs or drink too much) and I left as soon as I realized it.
So why is it I like having my hair pulled, ass smacked, bitten, anal sex and being called a dirty pig during sex? I don't fit your mold.
I just want to add that the person I engage in these activities with I have a huge level of trust with. Without that I wouldn't ever feel comfortable or get off on all my little deviant activites.
Part of the turn on is the total giving up of power. Letting the other person be THAT dominant over you.
PaigeDWinter
07-09-2008, 08:44 PM
11 pages later. Lets get back on topic.
Darcy Foxx
07-09-2008, 08:47 PM
i think this is a really interesting, albeit really fucking random, thread.
Mr Hyde
07-09-2008, 08:59 PM
Once again I am left asking myself WHY does anyone like being degraded? I know this probably won't be a popular thing to say here in this topic but I'm going to risk it anyway. What the heck is going on within a persons self esteem and self worth (or I should say lack there of) that makes them need or want to be treated less than human?
And wtf, there are so many of you too! People I never would have guessed by your previous postings. You are all are so much better and more deserving of love that what you seem to think you are... it actually make my heart REALLY hurt for you that you think so little of yourselves :(
This whole thread has really just made me so very, very sad.
Seriously if it's that common no wonder there are so many men in the world who think it's ok to go around beating, commiting rapes and doing worse things to women. I mean why wouldn't they when there are a bunch of women going around doing and saying the things I've read here over the past few days.
I used to think violence against women was just some screwed up macho/ego issue some men have but now I know there is more to it and there are plenty of women out there who have just as much to do with it as the men.
Some men like to be degraded by women...hence the dominatrix demand.
I think you're thinking too hard about this.
Corgan
07-09-2008, 09:08 PM
i agree with darcy. this thread is off topic but it is very interesting!
LadyLuck
07-09-2008, 10:20 PM
you're basically implying that anyone who lets a sexual partner slap them is also going to let guys physically abuse them. wrong wrong wrong.
More like seriously wondering if that is the case. That and trying to figure out why in the world anyone would get off on being treated, or in terms of porn getting off by watching people be treated in ways that would otherwise ( by that I mean w/o consent) be considered abuse.
I am fascinated and often baffled by human behavior in general though so yes like Hyde mentioned I do tend to over think these kinds of things. But it comes from a good place in me, I swear!
katie941
07-09-2008, 11:05 PM
ANNNNYWAAAYYYYSSS, i think the next big things in porn are...
lachelle marie
delta white
audrey bitoni
priya rai
these are my fav ladies right now
wait this was about porn right?
UltraViolet
07-09-2008, 11:30 PM
I has seemed to evolve into being about a lot of things. But porn and sex are related, so I think it's a very intriguing thread.
Lysondra
07-10-2008, 12:34 AM
I don't care who the girl I'm seeing is as long as she's moaning. :D
None of that 'oh yeah, fuck me' said poorly or that STUPID FUCKING BREATING IN THROUGH YOUR TEETH THING.
You look like you bit on ice and hurt your teeth.
Flick6
07-10-2008, 03:46 AM
I would highly recommend you too, read some of nancy friday's works. An amazing insight into male and female sexuality and kinky fantasies...
More like seriously wondering if that is the case. That and trying to figure out why in the world anyone would get off on being treated, or in terms of porn getting off by watching people be treated in ways that would otherwise ( by that I mean w/o consent) be considered abuse.
I am fascinated and often baffled by human behavior in general though so yes like Hyde mentioned I do tend to over think these kinds of things. But it comes from a good place in me, I swear!
Budai
07-10-2008, 06:07 AM
ANNNNYWAAAYYYYSSS, i think the next big things in porn are...
lachelle marie
delta white
audrey bitoni
priya rai
I would drink Priya Rai's bath H2O... :drool:
Sirona
07-10-2008, 09:16 AM
I would highly recommend you too, read some of nancy friday's works. An amazing insight into male and female sexuality and kinky fantasies...
Agreed! I own two of her books:
Men In Love (http://www.amazon.com/Men-Love-Nancy-Friday/dp/0385333420/ref=pd_bbs_sr_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215706472&sr=8-4) and Women On Top (http://www.amazon.com/Women-Top-Nancy-Friday/dp/0671648454/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215706472&sr=8-3)
They're both really great :)
Mr Hyde
07-10-2008, 10:40 AM
Tiffany Brookes
Google her
AlexxaHex
07-10-2008, 12:56 PM
WOW! Priya Rai, huh? I think she has a new fan. Goddamn that woman is sexy.
PaigeDWinter
07-10-2008, 01:00 PM
WOW! Priya Rai, huh? I think she has a new fan. Goddamn that woman is sexy.
Its about time the Indian ladies got a good representation. Damn.
Vyanka
07-10-2008, 01:02 PM
holy fucking shit and for good reason!! :yes:
http://www.sweetbabesblog.com/babelogger_images/772499.jpg
...damn. Anyway, I wanted to add a bit more on the degrading sex threadjack, keeping it civil of course. Though the motivations for female extreme sub play weren't explored thoroughly in my textbook (for a Human Sexuality psych class), it's a widely accepted notion that men who are extremely submissive and/or into transvestic fetishism are so partly because of the allure of switching roles. In a patriarchal society, it's like a breath of fresh air to have a women taking the responsibility off of you I would suppose.
As far as I'm concerned, I have pretty masochistic sexual inclinations compared to most, but I'm an independent, assertive feminist in real life. No, I don't cut, I don't have an eating disorder (got borderline once but that was from mom/social pressure), and my trust was never violated sexually or otherwise by an authority figure in my youth. I think part of the allure for women is having the responsibility of carefully controlling her sexual encounters (don't fuck yet, you'd be a slut. don't ask for what you want too much, that's slutty) because the man whisks all control away, but within a controlled environment. Plus, it's a man you want sexually anyway, and it would feel hot "being his" at least for a bit, just like how he might enjoy dedicating a few hours to only pleasuring you but being pleasured from that act itself.
I would think that maybe if a woman has very low self esteem then she would allow herself to withstand abuse, but then we have to define abuse. By definition, it's something that someone doesn't enjoy. So, if I enjoy "abuse" in the bedroom, then it's not really abuse anymore, it's with a man I trust and like who would stop when I say. Otherwise, he'd get my foot so far up his ass and my ass so far out his door.
I rambled but I think I made a few points. Rough sex is good wholesome fun for all
Wow, that woman has a perfect rack!!
LadyLuck
07-10-2008, 01:11 PM
I would highly recommend you too, read some of nancy friday's works. An amazing insight into male and female sexuality and kinky fantasies...
Thanks for the suggestion. I am an avid reader so I will be happy to check it out.
Corgan
07-10-2008, 02:49 PM
god... when indian women realize how beautiful they are they are really smashing.
katie941
07-10-2008, 06:04 PM
heres the ladies pictures that i posted cause no ones gonna look them up
Lachelle Marie
http://freebw.dreamhosters.com/gd/pics/Lachelle%20Marie.jpg
Delta White
http://www.sexyclubbabes.co.uk/images/clubbabe3.jpg
Audrey Bitoni
http://www.strapon-love.com/11-20/bigtits-atschool/audrey-bitoni-dress.jpg
Priya Rai
http://www.picscrazy.com/image/p7m.jpg
Casual Observer
07-10-2008, 06:06 PM
Priya Rai?
Can I get a goddamn?
Chili Palmer
07-10-2008, 06:08 PM
I would drink Priya Rai's bath H2O... :drool:
You shoulda gotten some VIPs from her when she was a dancer at Bourbon Street Circus here in Phoenix. Like me. Ten or 20 times.
CP
fancygirl
07-10-2008, 07:03 PM
^ what was the best part about her as a dancer?
I really like delta white's picture, and I'm not normally a fan of blondes.
Chili Palmer
07-10-2008, 07:53 PM
^ what was the best part about her as a dancer?
She was a dayshift girl at BSC, which has never been known as a good dayshift club. So, #1, she simply blew away most everyone else there with her hotness (pre-current boob job, btw). She wasn't much of a hustler, so when you finally got her out of the dressing room, she'd make the most out of her time.
Laps weren't crazy mileage by any means (limited 2-way contact), but when she was on your lap and looked at you with those eyes... <sigh>
Once she got to know you, the mileage went up a bit, plus she'd spend some quality time chatting (not a requirement with me, but nice nonetheless). And yes, she made me the most pathetic of PLs, in that she'd ask me to massage her feet and I gladly did so (got my technique down...don't be ticklin' or nothin').
Priya's also escorting now, and I would absolutely take her up on that offer, except the gal she's associated with is another former dancer I knew in LA, and, based on my experience with her, one whom I would be wary about getting all that I paid for. A shame.
But yeah, Priya is smokin' hot.
CP
One other thing: There was another Indian dancer based in Phoenix I knew named Angela Devi, who danced at Hi-Liter for awhile, before she tragically ended her life. Priya reminded me a lot her, too, though Angela's boobs were a bit bigger.
Also I want to thank you ladies responding so far for not getting mean and nasty with me. I notice that opposing points of view often don't get treated with too much respect in internet forums and I appreciate the mature dialog going on right now in this discussion :)
So you have never, ever had rough sex? The hair pulling, biting, and holding down kind of sex?
Hello_Kitty27
07-10-2008, 08:06 PM
ANNNNYWAAAYYYYSSS, i think the next big things in porn are...
audrey bitoni
wait this was about porn right?
Dude, I do not like her one bit. I think she's the one that will not kiss in porn at all, right?? Which I am OK with ... I really don't care, but she did a movie with a guy that went near her face in mid-sex-action, and she totally freaked out. It was a totally turn off, the way she pulled away and made a big deal about it.
It made me feel like I was watching of movie of me and and my ex that I was totally repulsed by ....but thats another story for another day....
Hello_Kitty27
07-10-2008, 08:16 PM
So you have never, ever had rough sex? The hair pulling, biting, and holding down kind of sex?
Yeah .... you could totally have this kind of sex without it being "degrading"....to me, it's just kinda extra super passionate.
All Good Things
07-10-2008, 08:45 PM
More like seriously wondering if that is the case. That and trying to figure out why in the world anyone would get off on being treated, or in terms of porn getting off by watching people be treated in ways that would otherwise ( by that I mean w/o consent) be considered abuse.
OK, my turn to try.
Sexual development grows from a deep, dark pool of overlapping taboos. What you can't do; can't touch; can't see; can't look at; can't be around; can't seduce; can't fuck; can't masturbate; can't be forced; can't be with daddy; can't be with the neighbor; can't be with the teacher; can't wear that skirt; can't look at her wearing that blouse; can't see his penis; can't see him come; can't stare at his bulge.
The eye-popping sexual drive that begins at puberty, meanwhile, drives you stark raving insane. It pushes hard and persistently against every last one of those "can'ts". When they push back -- when they become "no's" or "can'ts" or "not you's," or "not nows" -- the sexual tension begins to burn.
Given enough time, and enough resistance, and enough denial, and enough escalation, and enough head-banging frustration, and teeth-grinding wet dreams, these can become powerful sexual triggers for you; magic release points in elaborate fantasies you actually act out where pent-up sexual energy can be released in explosive and uncontrollable ways.
This release can be triggered through the use of almost anything, including force, restraint, control, pain, dominance or any other mechanism or dress or behavior that occupies some deep recess in the bottom of your dark and twisted mind. It's the playground of mind-fucking, the royal road to sexual insanity.
You see, none of this has anything to do with the desire to be degraded or abused or disrespected in real life. Not in the slightest. It doesn't happen in the surface reality of real life. It has no reality there.
It's an alternate, buried, concealed, safe world that exists in the hidden recesses of your mind. It's only let out to play when the time is right, or the partner is right, or the place is right, or the time is right. And sometimes when all these just become right. :)
LadyLuck
07-10-2008, 10:56 PM
So you have never, ever had rough sex? The hair pulling, biting, and holding down kind of sex?
No way, it would be very disrespectful from my point of view and I would never, ever allow it much less prefer it. I grew up with a Dad who thought the world of women. My parents modeled great affection and mutual respect for us kids. I was raised in a way that taught me that a man who loves a woman never, ever raised his hand, voice, name called etc at a women and that any man who did not only did not love or respect women.
Now that does not mean I am a total vanilla in bed. I enjoy sensory deprivation such a blindfold for example and we practice shibari from time to time- especially when my man has to travel a lot for work. But that kind of bondage is very different that traditional s & m in the sense that there is never supposed to be any pain involved and the giver takes great care in that department.
The ropes are a representation of his touch. His love holding me close, safe and sound for much longer periods of time than in just love making. It takes great attention to detail and concentration on his part and trust on mine. It is an expression of the emotional ties that bind us together even when we are apart as well as the time and patience that is required to develop deep love and understanding of a life partner.
Corgan
07-10-2008, 10:59 PM
you have sex like a harlequin novel. ^^
i can tell.
LadyLuck
07-10-2008, 11:03 PM
OK, my turn to try.
Sexual development grows from a deep, dark pool of overlapping taboos. What you can't do; can't touch; can't see; can't look at; can't be around; can't seduce; can't fuck; can't masturbate; can't be forced; can't be with daddy; can't be with the neighbor; can't be with the teacher; can't wear that skirt; can't look at her wearing that blouse; can't see his penis; can't see him come; can't stare at his bulge.
The eye-popping sexual drive that begins at puberty, meanwhile, drives you stark raving insane. It pushes hard and persistently against every last one of those "can'ts". When they push back -- when they become "no's" or "can'ts" or "not you's," or "not nows" -- the sexual tension begins to burn.
Given enough time, and enough resistance, and enough denial, and enough escalation, and enough head-banging frustration, and teeth-grinding wet dreams, these can become powerful sexual triggers for you; magic release points in elaborate fantasies you actually act out where pent-up sexual energy can be released in explosive and uncontrollable ways.
This release can be triggered through the use of almost anything, including force, restraint, control, pain, dominance or any other mechanism or dress or behavior that occupies some deep recess in the bottom of your dark and twisted mind. It's the playground of mind-fucking, the royal road to sexual insanity.
You see, none of this has anything to do with the desire to be degraded or abused or disrespected in real life. Not in the slightest. It doesn't happen in the surface reality of real life. It has no reality there.
It's an alternate, buried, concealed, safe world that exists in the hidden recesses of your mind. It's only let out to play when the time is right, or the partner is right, or the place is right, or the time is right. And sometimes when all these just become right. :)
Beautifully wrriten but I am left with this feeling of maybe there is good and logical reasons behind many of those can nots.
I do appreciate you and others taking the time to comment and share your point of view and try to help me get it.
I don't know, maybe some of us just aren't meant to understand the world of rough sex?
I am going to check out the book suggestions though so rest assured I haven't given up trying to understand other people :)
LadyLuck
07-10-2008, 11:05 PM
you have sex like a harlequin novel. ^^
i can tell.
LOL! Not quite that mushy but yeah you're pretty close. Funny thing is I hate romance novels and I don't really get into love story movies either. Go figure!
jaizaine
07-10-2008, 11:07 PM
I like variety. Sometimes I like really loving, gentle sex and sometimes I like it really rough - although I don't like anything that physically hurts such as biting, slapping or hair pulling - actually if someone did this I'd prob hit them back and be turned off. But I often like sex to start off very gentle and work up to more rough - like pinning down and just going at it hard.
I guess that's the good tihng about sex, there are so many ways to do it :D
Perry
07-10-2008, 11:16 PM
No way, it would be very disrespectful from my point of view and I would never, ever allow it much less prefer it. I grew up with a Dad who thought the world of women. My parents modeled great affection and mutual respect for us kids. I was raised in a way that taught me that a man who loves a woman never, ever raised his hand, voice, name called etc at a women and that any man who did not only did not love or respect women.
I grew up the same way. But I love some coercion, dirty talk, rough-handling and a bit of kink. And my boyfriend is a 5'5, geeky, Dilbert-loving, video game playing, calculouse doing, engineer dork ;D
Sex is meant for reproduction. Now days people have birth controll pills, condoms, liberation, fewer boundries, less judgement, more partners and the like. But they still have that dang old sex drive! And the same old thing just gets BORING!!
UtahMike
07-10-2008, 11:30 PM
Speaking of porn, can anyone recommend an online source of erotic stories where you don't have to sort out 90 percent for sex with children or babies or animals? I enjoy reading a good story involving sex between consenting MF, MFF, or MMF adults, but just reading the thumbnail summaries of most of the sites I've found gives me the creeps.
Perry
07-10-2008, 11:55 PM
Here? (http://www.literotica.com/)
Lysondra
07-10-2008, 11:56 PM
Speaking of porn, can anyone recommend an online source of erotic stories where you don't have to sort out 90 percent for sex with children or babies or animals? I enjoy reading a good story involving sex between consenting MF, MFF, or MMF adults, but just reading the thumbnail summaries of most of the sites I've found gives me the creeps.
kirsten archives? They're organized by type.
RebeccaSolidarity
07-10-2008, 11:59 PM
I enjoy sensory deprivation such a blindfold for example and we practice shibari from time to time- especially when my man has to travel a lot for work. But that kind of bondage is very different that traditional s & m in the sense that there is never supposed to be any pain involved and the giver takes great care in that department.
Well...
Technically shibari was and is supposed to be uncomfortable. It was developed from the military bondage used by feudal Japanese soldiers to bind prisoners. Much of the artistry involved developed from their own specialized techniques which, if applied for long periods of time, were designed to break bones and inhibit breathing and generally torture as well as bind. True shibari is also meant to be applied quick and fast and rough rather than slow and delicate. It became a sex thing because people in that era and beyond saw these bound prisoners paraded in public, saw the pain, as well as the military association, and since it was taboo and frightening they began to fetishize it.
Most people who practice shibari just dont have the stomach for the hardcore stuff.
;)
Fond fond memories of Mistress Midori now... oh man...
LadyLuck
07-11-2008, 12:07 AM
Well...
Technically shibari was and is supposed to be uncomfortable. It was developed from the military bondage used by feudal Japanese soldiers to bind prisoners. Much of the artistry involved developed from their own specialized techniques which, if applied for long periods of time, were designed to break bones and inhibit breathing and generally torture as well as bind. True shibari is also meant to be applied quick and fast and rough rather than slow and delicate. It became a sex thing because people in that era and beyond saw these bound prisoners paraded in public, saw the pain, as well as the military association, and since it was taboo and frightening they began to fetishize it.
Most people who practice shibari just dont have the stomach for the hardcore stuff.
;)
Fond fond memories of Mistress Midori now... oh man...
Wow, I'm impressed. You are very well read! I am aware of the ancient history of shibari but as I think you probably know in these modern times it is practiced quite often the way I describe it and for many of the same reasons. I am sure there is a variety of levels that are closer to the old ways too though.
Corgan
07-11-2008, 12:14 AM
Here? (http://www.literotica.com/)
my thoughts exactly.
Flick6
07-11-2008, 12:17 AM
Thanks for the suggestion. I am an avid reader so I will be happy to check it out.
:) My Secret Garden is meant to be really good, its pretty old, but I think sexual fantasies are more timeless than we imagine. I have read Men In Love and another one the name of which escapes me now. They are informative and rather hot...
Women on Top - thats it thanks Sirona!
AlexxaHex
07-11-2008, 12:23 AM
Fond fond memories of Mistress Midori now... oh man...
Did you session with her? I have one of her books but I'd love to attend one of her workshops someday.
I love rope.
So much.
RebeccaSolidarity
07-11-2008, 04:09 AM
When I was still living in Los Angeles I was a member of LA-RAWW (Los Angeles Rude and Wicked Women) and she did some demos. Got tied up a little bit by her during one of those demos, in a "strict" instructional way of course and more for the benefit of my then-partner than for me. Rope is amazing. I actually learned how to make a strap-on harness out of rope but I would need to brush up my skills to get it right. Come to think of it: Rope might be something good to use in the scene between me and the other girl I am workinng with for that pornie porn I got myself involved in. Now that would be fun.
LilyLove
07-11-2008, 04:27 AM
I wrote and rewrote a bunch of stuff trying to reply to the men dominating women stuff in this thread and just kept erasing it. I've been having this problem because I can't use the "well I like to be spanked but I haven't been sexually abused/ have no daddy issues/ have been self-destructive." argument.
The truth is, I like to be choked and spanked. The truth is also that I have been sexually assaulted twice and that I used to be a cutter.
Both of those things are behind me now and I truly don't think that my submissive sexual behaviors are related to my past in that way.
But this is why I had to retype what I thought a bunch of times. Who knows where I got my fetishes from. I still don't really know what to say or how to explain this correctly.
Djoser
07-11-2008, 04:53 AM
I have no idea who they are. Post links? You don't have to, it's no big deal, I'm just lazy.
I like this thread. It's not too far off track and it's civil, in a naughty way of course haha.
Oh and I have noticed that a lot of assertive women get into being dominated, not that I'm a serious dominating type at all, but some is fun if the woman likes it, for sure.
Whoever mentioned Nancy Friday is spot on, her books are great! Rape fantasies are among the most common, but by no means does it mean they really want to get raped--like a lot of fantasies the whole idea is that it won't ever happen, but for whatever reasons it gets the person hot.
Jenny
07-11-2008, 05:17 AM
LL - you don't have to apologize for liking "vanilla" sex. I actually hate that expression because it makes it sound like something competitive, where the goal is to be as "chocolate" as possible. You're allowed to just like what you like.
As for respect - role play doesn't always define respect. Think of it as ritual, not reality. Like think of it this way - are some women who prefer to have "vanilla" sex repressed and fearful of expressing their sexuality? Yes; some are. There is no denying that. Are some just exercising a preference that was likely caused by something? Yes. It is the same thing. Some people are acting out other issues, and definitely don't seem to be particularly aware of it; others just seem to exercise a preference.
Like someone said earlier that "people with issues have great sex" - not entirely true. What makes sex "great" is not how family rated or "deviant" it is, but how good it is for the parties involved; I define "good" as excluding latent self-destructive behaviour.