View Full Version : feature dancer disaster stories.
i.breathe.in
08-08-2008, 09:43 AM
Did she have gloves on? She did a gig once where her insane boyfriend cut the tip of her finger off right before she was supposed to go on stage (yes, on purpose), so she threw on a pair of gloves and did her show. The custie that got blood on him sued.
woah. no she didnt have gloves on...
ViolaStrings
08-08-2008, 11:15 AM
^ what the fuck....
txchick008
08-08-2008, 03:48 PM
She did a gig once where her insane boyfriend cut the tip of her finger off right before she was supposed to go on stage (yes, on purpose), so she threw on a pair of gloves and did her show.
Why in the HELL would someone go on stage immediatly after the tip of their finger was cut off? :O WTF.
i.breathe.in
08-08-2008, 03:49 PM
meth, it makes you nutty, lol.
veronicachick
08-08-2008, 04:07 PM
Brianna Banks performed at a club I worked at about 5 years ago. I was shocked to learn that she was a feature dancer because her dancing (if that's what you call it) really sucked ass! I asked the manager where Brianna came from because she was so awful and the manager replied "I don't know. But she's never coming here again." A feature dancer is supposed to put on a performance that intimidates the others from going on stage after her. Brianna had NOTHING going for her on stage. All she did the most was squat in front of customers, grab their heads and do a pelvic thrust. Her boas looked like they were straight out of a toy box for little girls to play dress up. About a week or two later, a customer that personally knew Brianna said that she was on meth. Which explained why her big boob job was out of proportion with her skeleton like legs.
I've never seen her in person but even in pictures her boob job looks so bad.
ChristyWild
08-08-2008, 11:48 PM
thats how gauge is. i love her though. she came out on a tricicle dressed like a little girl dancing to some song about candy, it was strangely hot. she is the ittiest bittiest girl.
I've actually met Gauge and her man Jason a few times over the years, and I definitely have to say that she's one of the better features, up there with Sunny Lane and Vivian West, IMHO...but plz continue the bad feature bashing now.
One feature did the spit thing, then deep throated one of her rolled up posters and pulled it out of her mouth with the big spit strings and grossness, and threw it at the customer I was sitting with. He ran.
DJ Steve
08-11-2008, 02:30 AM
When I danced in Cali I never worked with features. The club where I work now is having 3 porn stars come feature this Friday and Saturday. I work both nights....and for some reason I am REALLY REALLY nervous :-\ .
How was business for you girls when you worked with features? Any tips/advice? I need to do well this weekend. I am going on vacation next month and would like to have some extra $$$$.
*tries to think positive thoughts ;D *
hope you did well ava, it was a complete pain in the ass for me.
Ava Jadore
08-11-2008, 07:38 AM
hope you did well ava, it was a complete pain in the ass for me.
Friday kinda sucked but Saturday was actually one of the better nights I have had in a while. Getting guys to buy dances wasn't like pulling teeth for once LOL.
I heard one of the features was doing some pretty crazy stuff on stage on Saturday haha! Something about a beer bottle...}:D ???? I missed it though...I had already watched them all on Friday so I didn't think I needed to watch them again.
Hope you made alright tips!
Kellydancer
08-11-2008, 06:01 PM
I once worked at a club that brought in "features". This was a joke because most of these women weren't porn stars but won contests, many minor at that. Anyways one of these features was coming in with the "promise" she'd bring her regulars. Well, she not only didn't do that, but she ended up being allowed to do private dances. None of the girls liked this because here she's getting paid and she's allowed to do dances? At the end of the night many of the girls compared their earnings, and most didn't make enough for house. None of the girls liked her because she'd interrupt guys talking to other dancers, and promise better dancers. Luckily she only danced a few days before the club saw what was happening.
Another feature (forget the name) was trying to get guys to be in her next video and to meet her after the club closed. I thought that was low class. I can sort of see that when she was selling items after the show. This was during her show.
LEIGH_LANDON
08-11-2008, 10:20 PM
A feature who is no longer on the circuit inserted a long taper candle in her ass and one in her pussy she then would have a customer light ONE of the candles and she would clench her muscle and the two candle tips met and the one lit the other. That was fucked up I thought.
Another feature I saw at the GoGo in Toronto stuck a dildo in her ass gave her self a hearty fuck with it and then stuck the damn thing down her dirty throat. I wrote an artcile on it in the stripper magazine I used to work for years ago and she was so pissed at me, LOL!
But all I could think of was butt stuff on her hands and then she'd touch the pole and then some other poor dancer would have to go on after her and its not like anyone ever cleans the friggen stage - some stages are like big pairs of filthy underpants - I mean really!!! UGH.
i.breathe.in
08-11-2008, 10:31 PM
A feature who is no longer on the circuit inserted a long taper candle in her ass and one in her pussy she then would have a customer light ONE of the candles and she would clench her muscle and the two candle tips met and the one lit the other. That was fucked up I thought.
Another feature I saw at the GoGo in Toronto stuck a dildo in her ass gave her self a hearty fuck with it and then stuck the damn thing down her dirty throat. I wrote an artcile on it in the stripper magazine I used to work for years ago and she was so pissed at me, LOL!
But all I could think of was butt stuff on her hands and then she'd touch the pole and then some other poor dancer would have to go on after her and its not like anyone ever cleans the friggen stage - some stages are like big pairs of filthy underpants - I mean really!!! UGH.
wow that first one is might talented, even if it is a bit creepy.
Gingerlina
08-11-2008, 10:48 PM
Bridget the midget is awesome, I love her she doesn't act like the other porn stars that are stuck up, I just didn't like when guys were laughing at her....
But JADE SIMON takes the cake for the worse oldest stripper I have ever seen, first of all she considers herself a feature which she is not she is a comedian that has to take her close off to get some attention and then she grabs the ''mike'' and starts making fun of the customers which scares them away... Pathetic 40 something stripper wanna be comedian and call her self feature??? HAHA pathetic
Laylas
08-12-2008, 08:22 AM
There was a feature at my last club who brought out a busted, junkyard-style toliet and the entire set was her sitting on it pretending to take a dump. She had a 3 night engagement, but management asked her to leave after her first set was over.
ViolaStrings
08-12-2008, 10:05 AM
^ OMG I would love to see that
i.breathe.in
08-12-2008, 10:22 AM
There was a feature at my last club who brought out a busted, junkyard-style toliet and the entire set was her sitting on it pretending to take a dump. She had a 3 night engagement, but management asked her to leave after her first set was over.
wow! do you know her name i want to google her and suggest her to managemnt hahahahahah
LEIGH_LANDON
08-12-2008, 12:21 PM
LOL, well some dancers DO have some serious POTTY mouth, LOL!
And just to be fair about the dancer that told jokes and gave the audience a hard time, well ---a feature from WAY back: Septra Fontaine was NO beauty but she WAS funny and we loved her. She was tall like over 6 ft, and a BIG lady - not so much fat as BIG, and she had crappy costumes, but she had an ACT, and it was good. And we loved her.
That was really burlesque. It was an act.
I wonder where she is now?
ViolaStrings
08-12-2008, 01:38 PM
^ excommunicated from stripping because she talks
LEIGH_LANDON
08-12-2008, 09:40 PM
ya sad aint it? But seriously - there used to be some wicked acts out there.
Nakita Kash
08-13-2008, 07:49 AM
meth, it makes you nutty, lol.
exactly!
Nakita Kash
08-13-2008, 07:58 AM
Bridget the midget is awesome, I love her she doesn't act like the other porn stars that are stuck up, I just didn't like when guys were laughing at her....
But JADE SIMON takes the cake for the worse oldest stripper I have ever seen, first of all she considers herself a feature which she is not she is a comedian that has to take her close off to get some attention and then she grabs the ''mike'' and starts making fun of the customers which scares them away... Pathetic 40 something stripper wanna be comedian and call her self feature??? HAHA pathetic
Jade IS one of the most talented girls on the feature circuit. She is a professionally trained dancer and an amazingly innovative performer. She holds more stage presence in her pinky finger than you will probably ever have in your entire stripping career combined. It takes balls or maybe just a lot of jealousy to give her a negative review! I think you are just bitter that she is about 40, has the body of a 25 yo and still makes a great living not being the most beautiful girl or having to do dirty lap dances!
Susan-Va
08-13-2008, 03:22 PM
I saw Jade about a year and a half ago when I was at the Northern in Fargo. She was awesome! and funny, it was refreshing to see someone do something different. She actually entertains wwich is a nice change of pace, better than seeing a girl stick an 18 inch dildo down her throat, which while impressive it's just not that entertaining.
LEIGH_LANDON
08-13-2008, 10:03 PM
I hate to play sides but.....
I agree. I like the humour, I like routines, I LIKE entertainment - dildo play has never been entertaining - or spit or shit or tits.
AkashaM
08-13-2008, 11:31 PM
Everytime Brianna Banks comes to NYC, its always a trainwreck, but the clubs book her---she brings the crowds.
I really wanted to see Carmen Luvana when she came to town, but i got sick. Has anyone ever seen her perform?
It would be great to see a comedienne/burlesque show thing as a feature--at least its entertaining.
Ive see Mary Cary--she got drunk and danced no better than a drunk house house girl.
Luna Louise
08-14-2008, 04:09 PM
Carmen Luvana was at my club recently. She looked pudgy and just wandered around on stage. Pretty lame. I was actually friends with Mary Carey (pre VH1 show) and she was just a fucked up mess. A pro ball player we were there with (at her feature) ended up stealing the managers truck keys and crashed the truck. The night was never ending stupid events... ahhh, glad I don't do coke.
LEIGH_LANDON
08-14-2008, 09:45 PM
LOL, I saw that Mary Cary on that reality drug addict in rehab show - she is a sad piece of work.
Noteriety can only pull so much of a crowd ya gotta have SOMETHING a little SOMETHING to back it up, no??
There was a mega mega porn star that was all noteriety and nuthin else, I went up to tip her just so I could get a better look see and goodness, she scared me up close that bitch had a mug like a boxer dog! She also had a lame show but she was uber famous so for a while she pulled the crowds, then she died out cuz there was nuthing else to see.
I aint sayin her name case I get lambasted here lol!!
Nakita Kash
08-14-2008, 10:17 PM
I really wanted to see Carmen Luvana when she came to town, but i got sick. Has anyone ever seen her perform?
Nothing to see. She's a hot latina, that's about it.
AkashaM
08-22-2008, 12:04 PM
Nothing to see. She's a hot latina, that's about it. awww :'(
Ive only seen one of her movies, but i liked her dirty talk in spanish...heehee
devilkitty
08-22-2008, 12:29 PM
We had little Lacy at my old club. She was very ugly and very high. She was also with a guy that came off as a total pimp.
Otoki
08-25-2008, 12:34 AM
We got Krystal Steal as a feature once. Totally fucked up on some shit (I'd guess pills) and dumb. Didn't know how to dance, and was really boring on stage. Most of the guys were there to get dances with her, so it was a total waste of time to go into work that day.
kitana
08-25-2008, 01:08 AM
she scared me up close that bitch had a mug like a boxer dog! She also had a lame show but she was uber famous so for a while she pulled the crowds, then she died out cuz there was nuthing else to see.
I aint sayin her name case I get lambasted here lol!!
That's exactly how I feel about Jenna Jameson, she is SUCH a fucking SKANK white trash nasty butta face! :ill: :crazy:
Susan Wayward
08-26-2008, 04:51 PM
I like the humour, I like routines, I LIKE entertainment - dildo play has never been entertaining - or spit or shit or tits.
Whoah, tits? What the hell do you have against tits?
SassyPants
08-26-2008, 07:47 PM
maybe she meant, spit or shit ON tits???
like whipped cream, wax and that sort of thing? I HOPE, cuz tits are the awesomest.
MissTeaze
08-29-2008, 01:45 PM
Okay im late coming into this thread but there is a train wreck of a feature working right now who I just have to tell ya'll about :D
Okay shes one of those 'I did three movies so im a major porn star!' type chicks. Shes always shit faced when she works to the point she can hardly walk up the stairs(shes more crawling/dragging herself) and she'll go on stage, flop around, climb up the pole and hang upside down and do this 'drop' thing... yet shes always so god damn drunk that she never catches herself when she drops so she almost always cracks her head off the stage.
She does a fire show and burns her hair every time. She hangs upside down on the pole with her fire wand in her mouth(eww naked pussy on the pole!) and torches her hair...
Yea this chick is class A feature material ::)
One thing I will give her though... shes a super sweet girl... like shes nice to talk to(a little out there but ya know) shes a total doll to be around and funny as all hell... but uh yea a train wreck.
Leigh.... you may know who I mean actually lol.
kitana
08-30-2008, 04:45 AM
Guys just keep in mind (PLEASE) that most of these "feature" dancers, only have a week long "school" to go to before becoming a feature, lol.
Some of them are totally newbies to dancing completely and don't have a clue.
Now, don't get me wrong, I laugh my ass off just like everyone else when a newb feature comes in too big for her britches and bombs; but usually most of the ones I have worked with are awesome, and really know their shit. My fav 2 so far have been Jenny Worthington and that one chick from Aussie (they called her the stunna from down under or something like that). Both really good girls and totally sweet.
MissTeaze
08-30-2008, 11:44 AM
Guys just keep in mind (PLEASE) that most of these "feature" dancers, only have a week long "school" to go to before becoming a feature, lol.
Some of them are totally newbies to dancing completely and don't have a clue.
Well FTR I didn't even go to feature school really. I went to Edmonton to take some classes with Alena to help me move up the chain though. Ahaha then again I know I got more out of those lessons with Alena then girls at that so called feature school get in the US lol.
Anyway my point is half the shit these chicks are doing is not shit you would learn 'not to do' at the 'feature school'. This shit is common sense. Nevermind the fact that everything else comes with experience. The simple fact is a lot of these girls just don't give a fuck.
Ms. Mia Roberts
08-30-2008, 01:11 PM
During my audition at a club, They had a feature named "Brandi Morgan"
She did the first set in this really really sexy (and expensive looking) leather cat costume. Her dance was sexy, but nothing spectacular....and she tripped and fell over at the end of the song... but she recovered and that made me feel a lil bit more comfortable getting up there to do my audition....if the feature fucks up...who cares what i do..lol;D
then she did this whole show with a clear mustard bottle that was filled with some kinda cream or something....it looked EXACTLY like cum.....:O
and i have to say....i thought it was kinda sexy:-X
thechaosfairy
08-30-2008, 06:49 PM
Yeah, there's fake cum made out of methylcellulose, or so I've been told by a photographer who wanted me to do a shoot wearing it. :P
Lysondra
08-30-2008, 07:06 PM
Why not just use lotion mixed with water?
i.breathe.in
08-30-2008, 07:07 PM
i never understood the lotion cum thing do guys really find that hot???
Lysondra
08-30-2008, 07:11 PM
Do guys find cum all over a naked chick hot....
:P
i.breathe.in
08-30-2008, 07:13 PM
yeah but this is lotion...lol... i think its just odd.
Lysondra
08-30-2008, 07:15 PM
It's the visual... men like to pretend it's their cum all over the hot chick... like.. yeah... that could be me.. here's money.
i.breathe.in
08-30-2008, 07:16 PM
i guess it makes more sense then all the guys that give fake fellatio to rolled up 8 X 10s between features legs...
Sophia_Ashley
08-30-2008, 07:36 PM
We got Krystal Steal as a feature once. Totally fucked up on some shit (I'd guess pills) and dumb. Didn't know how to dance, and was really boring on stage. Most of the guys were there to get dances with her, so it was a total waste of time to go into work that day.
WOW this was my "feature dancer story" I think she's on heroin personally or oxy's. She was almost nodding out on stage. And she fell I think. Horrible
cutey5032
08-30-2008, 08:17 PM
i never understood the lotion cum thing do guys really find that hot???
these 2 chicks from my club do a 2-song lotion show every saturday night and make BANK. Like, hundreds of dollars in tips. We all get pissed because we can never get a dance when they are up there.
Nakita Kash
08-30-2008, 10:42 PM
Well FTR I didn't even go to feature school really. I went to Edmonton to take some classes with Alena to help me move up the chain though. Ahaha then again I know I got more out of those lessons with Alena then girls at that so called feature school get in the US lol.
As far as I am concerned if you took lessons from Alena, you went to feature school! I love that you talk about what you don't know. This is what I hate about this industry. Why do you have to be nasty? What do you know about the feature schools in the US?
BTW- if you are featuring in the US, NOTHING you do with Alena will move you up the ladder. If you don't plan on featuring in the US- why compare your training experience? The US & CA are VERY different when it comes to feature entertainment!
MissTeaze
08-31-2008, 12:20 AM
As far as I am concerned if you took lessons from Alena, you went to feature school! I love that you talk about what you don't know. This is what I hate about this industry. Why do you have to be nasty? What do you know about the feature schools in the US?
BTW- if you are featuring in the US, NOTHING you do with Alena will move you up the ladder. If you don't plan on featuring in the US- why compare your training experience? The US & CA are VERY different when it comes to feature entertainment!
Oh so the fact that I know how to DANCE and ENTERTAIN and hold a list a mile long of credits and titles would mean nothing eh? Thats why i've had tons of clubs in the US contacting me to book me saying how they wished they could get more Canadian features because we put on such great shows. The only reason im not working in the US is I couldn't be bothered to get my visa and I don't want to travel that far anymore.
I even had an agent in the US tell me he wishes he could get a handful of Canadian features because they would put most(not all) of his girls out of work.
The simple fact is I know many features who have gone to the feature schools in the US and were frustrated with what little they got out of it.
I know a lot of girls who after attending the schools in the US turned around to take lessons with Alena and were impressed with how much more they took out of it.
Yea Alena put me through a quick run of feature 101. Hooked me up with costumes and some moves and fire shows and still helps me out with my shows. I took one on one classes with her. But much different then feature school. For one I didn't pay out the ass to turn around and get nothing out of it.
Look I know nothing of your school. The schools i've heard of I believe one of them isn't even around any more.
I've seen a few videos of you on the pole and yea your pretty good, I wont deny that.
Also I wont deny that there are some pretty damn good features in the US. Jada Deville is one who I still stand in awe of because shes such a great entertainer.
At the same time though i've seen more features in the US that did sweet fuck all then I have ones who put on a show.
Seriously midnight on a Friday night, biggest club in the city, packed wall to wall, standing room only... come out on stage in a tube dress and string bikini and walk around once then get on your knees bouncing up and down? I would be embarassed to do that.
Im not running around on here chasing your posts and bashing you. Did I say I was talking about your school? No. Last I heard there was more then one in the states.
AlexxaHex
08-31-2008, 09:00 AM
A dancer named Chrissy or Christy Cannons was at my club last week. For her first song, she comes out on stage in a silver catsuit, some kind of silver painted football vest thing, silver shin guards and a robocop style helmet doing the ROBOT in the middle of the stage. Everyone, the staff and customers just stared at her with a confused look on their faces. I think the rest of her set was fine and from what I heard she was a nice person, but the whole robot thing was weird. It wasn't even sexy.
I do want to say that her body was amazing, although her tits were totally bolt ons.
i.breathe.in
08-31-2008, 09:01 AM
I do want to say that her body was amazing, although her tits were totally bolt ons.
well that works with the robotcop look haha.