View Full Version : Has anyone ever had to go to jail???
fancygirl
07-08-2008, 03:01 AM
really? I give implied consent never to flame someone who says "hey guys. I did a stupid thing. please don't flame me" ? I don't think so.
The specifics of her arrest don't bother me. People fuck up. She's obviously got a judgement and possibly a drinking problem.
The problem that made me respond was that she kept saying stuff like she felt she was unfairly arrested.
"I have never been to jail in my life.. this is so out of my character... I am like a paris hilton who has to go through this... I don't know what to do with myself...."
^ that's bad enough. It's not the drinking and driving that bothers her. It's the getting caught and being faced with jail time.
But this?:
"I feel wrongfully accused"
and,
"i would accept the punishment if i truly deserved it"
She is consistently denying that she has a larger problem that is putting other people at risk. She's completely culpable here. And helping her is getting her to realize that--
sure, you can help her find a loophole or advise her on how to avoid jail time, but that's a short term solution that handles a symptom and not the longer term problem.
She will do this again unless she finally learns to accept that she's the problem here. Not the cops who arrested her. Not her lawyer. Not the judge.
I could honestly give a shit if she gets out of the ten days or not because that sentence is laughable for a second offense. I'm addressing a deeper issue here.
BrodieLux
07-08-2008, 03:14 AM
Fancy, I think you misunderstood me, because I'm wasn't arguing with you about the morality of drunken driving*. I see what youre saying, and I appreciate that you feel so passionately that you seem to consider it your obligation to call the OP out because you sense that she might not be facing the gravity of potential consequences of drunken driving. Hey, look, you're coming from the right place with this all.
But at the same time I dont think it is appropriate to come down like the freaking morality police in this thread. It's just not the place.
Pardon me for saying this, but you're acting like an evangelist trying to save a stripper soul. You mean well and you're absolutely convinced that you have this all figured out and that it is your mission to teach her the "truth." Yet in reality none of us can claim to know that shit -- we can only know what is true for us. I think that holding this kind of awareness and humility is a way of showing respect for other people.
*OK now I will: yes, to a great degree morality IS subjective, because you'll come to different conclusions if you're an intentionalist vs. a consequentalist, to put it very briefly. From a consequentalist view of morality, drunk driving is akin to murder. One who is more concerned with the intentions behind actions wouldn't see it that way, necessarily.
fancygirl
07-08-2008, 03:28 AM
^ you can talk about subjective truth all you want. but when it comes to her acting like a ditz who can't face ten days in jail and keeps acting like she's not responsible, then I don't see what's so subjective about her putting other people in danger. That's not just true for me. It's not as if drunk driving can be really good for you or for other people if seen in most or any other lives (<---edit: I meant to say "perspectives" here) So, no-- it's not subjective.
I actually don't think I'm going to have any affect on her whatsoever. I think her own self-summation about being like Paris Hilton is spot-on.
and if you want to argue philosophy-- we could talk about how there's no good or evil, heaven or hell, or that if she killed someone she'd only be screwing her own karma and releasing the killed person from life which is, in some beliefs, suffering. I'm not here to argue philosophy. And ya'all are even welcome to get back to the topic of trying to keep her from going to jail, because I'm sure she's going to be a great contributor to society since she is "wrongly accused" or doesn't truly "deserve it."
I made my point that this person is completely vapid and self-centered to be making statements like that which is probably a prime contributor to her risking other people's lives as no big deal.
Which it is (to her) except, you know, for all that embarrassment and how she just can't go to jail because she's not that sort of person.
-big fat eye roll-
carry on with the original topic.
BrodieLux
07-08-2008, 03:50 AM
^^ Actually the OP came on here just asking what jail is like, not asking for legal advice. Some people offered it, after they begged her to tell what she got in trouble for. The thread topic is jail, not DUIs.
ETA: I do understand what you're saying, it's just that I think you're being harsh and unnecessarily hurtful. It's also counterproductive to attack her. You could communicate your points in less judgmental words, and that could be much more effective.
fancygirl
07-08-2008, 04:44 AM
there's really no way to communicate that in less judgemental words. and if there is,
I'm not going to hold the hand of this person for the reasons already expressed.
There's no point in pretending that I don't view her in a more elevated manner than I do----which to clarify for the skimmers, is NOT because she fucked up and drove drunk again (though that's bad enough) but the way that she states she's wrongly accused and doesn't deserve this treatment.
Once again-- back to the OT, which you're right-- was how is Jail?
KamrynAnne
07-08-2008, 09:59 AM
there's really no way to communicate that in less judgemental words. and if there is,
I'm not going to hold the hand of this person for the reasons already expressed.
There's no point in pretending that I don't view her in a more elevated manner than I do----which to clarify for the skimmers, is NOT because she fucked up and drove drunk again (though that's bad enough) but the way that she states she's wrongly accused and doesn't deserve this treatment.
Once again-- back to the OT, which you're right-- was how is Jail?
thanks for your kind words bro... i know that drinking and driving is not the right answer and i screwed up.. i just feel my punishment is very messed up.. im scared and upset about this.... i don't need you making me feel even worse.. sorry if people don't have their shit together like you do... you don't know me and don't know my life.. and what i've been through... so instead of lecuturing me and making me feel like a looser, can you refrain from spouting?? thanks.
cinammonkisses
07-08-2008, 10:26 AM
am i the only one missing the evidence as to whether or not you were actually drunk?? did they take a breathalyzer?? blood test? do they have any physical proof at all? if not, then APPEAL! Please don't take this the wrong way- no, jail wouldn't be that bad, of course not, but it's really not something you want on your record if you can avoid it. It's a lot easier to get a good job in the post-stripping world if "jail" or 2 DUI convictions are not on your record. I do hope your attorney/law student friends can assist you... good luck, sweetie. I also hope you learn from your mistakes. (and no, that wasn't meant to flame... I just want you to be safe!)
This is exactly what I was thinking. I HATE Ohio police :(
StarryEyes
07-08-2008, 11:07 AM
thanks for your kind words bro... i know that drinking and driving is not the right answer and i screwed up.. i just feel my punishment is very messed up..
Punishment or no punishment, I hope you realize that you cannot drink and drive again. Is it really worth all this???
Have you thought about going to AA?
I've never been to jail myself, but I have known people who have had DUIs. The more you do it, the worse it gets. In addition to jail time, my friends had to pay fines, do community service, go to AA, that type of stuff. Some of them learned from it, some of them were stupid enough not to.
Please learn from this.
StarryEyes
07-08-2008, 11:08 AM
^^^ *Not a flame post. BTW. More of a caring one. **^^
Perry
07-08-2008, 11:21 AM
I had to spend a night in jail and it wasn't too bad. I've had friends go for stupid reasons, failure to pay fines, mouthing off and so on. It's more boring than anything else. But good luck on staying out!
Start doing community service, and going to AA now - even if you don't need it, and weren't ordered to it so that you look repentant when you go back to court. Do the DIP program, attend some MADD classes, ect. That will help you get sympathy and make it look like you're getting things together :)
fancygirl
07-08-2008, 11:36 AM
thanks for your kind words bro... i know that drinking and driving is not the right answer and i screwed up.. i just feel my punishment is very messed up.. im scared and upset about this.... i don't need you making me feel even worse.. sorry if people don't have their shit together like you do... you don't know me and don't know my life.. and what i've been through... so instead of lecuturing me and making me feel like a looser, can you refrain from spouting?? thanks.
Once again, "bro," it was the statements you of you acting like you were some poor little victim and not the actual drunk driving that I was responding too (though, also once again, it's bad enough that this is your second DUI.)
I may not know you or your life, but that does not give you a license to endanger other people and waste resources from the state having to deal with you in the legal system. This "all about you" attitude is what I don't understand, and perhaps that's why you have the perspective that I don't honestly understand. All I can hope for is that you either eventually get it (because it's clear you still don't) which is going to mean a serious wake-up call (and what can be more serious than TWO DUIs) or that if you continue your path, you only harm yourself in Darwinian fashion.
Glamazon
07-08-2008, 12:59 PM
First of all, you should take some time and really try and understand where Fancygirl is coming from. She's got some very valid points that you should consider.
Second, I can tell you I had to go to jail once and it sucked. I didn't know how long I would be in there, because I had been arrested on a fucking felony charge. [I didn't do anything wrong--my boyfriend at the time lied to the cops and said I cut him during a drunken arguement when he was the one who cut himself.] I got arrested on a Friday night and was held without bail until my video court on Monday afternoon. Luckily, my attorney was able to get me released on my own recognizance and I went home. Jail was scary. Besides being wrongly arrested, I truly didn't belong there. The food sucks. I couldn't take my birth control pills, so my period came and with a vengeance!! The tampons were regular, not super, so I had to wear their cheap ass pads with no wings. The clothes don't fit. Luckily, the other women were nice and nobody bothered me. I cried all weekend. I thought my life was over. At least you know that your sentence is 10 days--I really had no idea if I was going to get out.
As a result of my weekend in jail, I vowed to never drink and drive ever again (yes, I used to drink and drive quite often), because I don't belong in jail. That was 8 years ago this September.
Sirona
07-09-2008, 09:50 AM
People, stop fucking attacking the OP. She came onto this thread asking what jail is like. If you can't in some way contribute, don't post. Because she DID NOT ASK what your views on morality and drunken driving are, and in fact she asked you to refrain from flaming her. She's obviously going through hardship over this emotionally already. be sensitive.
I think all things considered she's being pretty fucking sensitive.
The thread started as a question as to how jail is.
The OP added to the original intent of the thread by bringing up how unfair she feels jail time is. You have to expect people to resond to it.
I haven't been in jail so I can't comment on how it is or isn't
I'm going to take a pass on voicing my opinion on the rest as I really don't think the OP would take kindly to my take on the whole thing.
Fancygirl I wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said.
You said in a far more gentle thoughtful manner than I think the OP deserves.
scarymary77
07-09-2008, 11:01 AM
while i am fortunate enough to have not gone to jail (and i say my prayers i wont wind up there- ever!), i do have a friend who spent quite a few months in there before he was shipped to prison. i noticed another lady on here posted about refusing the tb test- kamryn, please dont do this. if they give you lice treatments, etc. do not refuse them. the only reason i stress this is because the jail my friend was in (which has many problems and is in trouble with the state for code violations) had a tb outbreak and people were not properly quarantined. i'm sorry if i'm scaring you, but i want to be honest.
vivianbear
07-10-2008, 12:47 AM
^^
Yeah, for the record, I certainly am NOT suggesting anyone refuse the standard medical procedures they put you through as an inmate. A random TB outbreak does sound horrible. That was a choice I made at the time.
Fancygirl, you're pretty spot on in your words, btw.
Peanut_Butter
07-10-2008, 12:56 AM
Originally Posted by ColetteCalahan http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/images/themes/rising/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1612856#post1612856)
am i the only one missing the evidence as to whether or not you were actually drunk?? did they take a breathalyzer?? blood test? do they have any physical proof at all? if not, then APPEAL! Please don't take this the wrong way- no, jail wouldn't be that bad, of course not, but it's really not something you want on your record if you can avoid it. It's a lot easier to get a good job in the post-stripping world if "jail" or 2 DUI convictions are not on your record. I do hope your attorney/law student friends can assist you... good luck, sweetie. I also hope you learn from your mistakes. (and no, that wasn't meant to flame... I just want you to be safe!)
She said she refused the brethalyzer. It's my understandign that if you refuse, you are automaticialyl charged with DUI.
My mother has 4 DUI's. And on eone of them, she refused the test. and they charged her anyway. said it was the policy r whatever to charge with DUI if you refuse.
ajbaer
07-10-2008, 09:57 AM
:-X
That is all.
ColetteCalahan
07-10-2008, 11:08 AM
She said she refused the brethalyzer. It's my understandign that if you refuse, you are automaticialyl charged with DUI.
My mother has 4 DUI's. And on eone of them, she refused the test. and they charged her anyway. said it was the policy r whatever to charge with DUI if you refuse.
hmm i just read this and I am surprised. Why refuse if there's an automatic charge? Unless you KNOW you're drunk out of your mind (it seemed like she thought she was somewhat ok... perhaps her BAC might not have been quite so bad?) then why deny something potentially helpful? Unless the state has a zero-tolerance policy...
FancyGirl, when I told her to be safe, I meant it as a more general "for everyone involved" type of thing. Having had bikes totaled in DUI-related accidents (other peoples' idiocy, I would NEVER drink and ride), I am not a very lenient person when it comes to drinking and driving... however, just because I have a certain moral stance doesn't mean that laws don't apply to her & she isn't able to use the system to gain the most favorable outcome she can... just because maximum punishment can be applied as a deterrent doesn't mean it SHOuLD. I agree with your viewpoint & also that her 'undeserving-ness' is a little misplaced, but I do believe she should seek as much legal protection as she can, simply because it is in her right to do so.
Sirona
07-10-2008, 01:23 PM
hmm i just read this and I am surprised. Why refuse if there's an automatic charge? Unless you KNOW you're drunk out of your mind (it seemed like she thought she was somewhat ok... perhaps her BAC might not have been quite so bad?) ...
Actually she admitted to being drunk:
"So at the end of May.... I was driving home from work... I was so mad at myself.. i went out before work with a friend and had drinks before and during work... i was pretty hammered but i wanted to drive home anyways... "
BrodieLux
07-10-2008, 01:51 PM
PB, I'm not an attorney but I just wanted to point out that an automatic charge is not an automatic conviction, and so refusing a breathalyzer could be a good move in that it prevents the cops from gathering evidence against her, making their case harder to prove. Speculation though. Where's Blackstone?
(ETA: "Good" in terms of serving the interests of the driver...)
KamrynAnne
07-10-2008, 05:15 PM
i just wanted some sort of piece of words.. not harshness.. thanks to all those who are helpful..
KamrynAnne
07-10-2008, 05:16 PM
im not asking anyone to feel sorry for me either...
MeanGirl
07-10-2008, 05:26 PM
PB, I'm not an attorney but I just wanted to point out that an automatic charge is not an automatic conviction, and so refusing a breathalyzer could be a good move in that it prevents the cops from gathering evidence against her, making their case harder to prove. Speculation though. Where's Blackstone?
(ETA: "Good" in terms of serving the interests of the driver...)
According to my attorney,if you have already been convicted of a first DUI, anytime after that if you refuse a breathalyzer it is an automatic conviction. Although, you can refuse if you have never had a dui and it may be beneficial.
i am really suprised it's a 2nd offense and you only have to serve 10 days, you are really lucky. In my state it's 180 days. I think you end up actually serving 1/3 of the sentence, which may mean like 3 real days in jail.
fancygirl
07-10-2008, 07:10 PM
hmm i just read this and I am surprised. Why refuse if there's an automatic charge? Unless you KNOW you're drunk out of your mind (it seemed like she thought she was somewhat ok... perhaps her BAC might not have been quite so bad?) then why deny something potentially helpful? Unless the state has a zero-tolerance policy...
FancyGirl, when I told her to be safe, I meant it as a more general "for everyone involved" type of thing. Having had bikes totaled in DUI-related accidents (other peoples' idiocy, I would NEVER drink and ride), I am not a very lenient person when it comes to drinking and driving... however, just because I have a certain moral stance doesn't mean that laws don't apply to her & she isn't able to use the system to gain the most favorable outcome she can... just because maximum punishment can be applied as a deterrent doesn't mean it SHOuLD. I agree with your viewpoint & also that her 'undeserving-ness' is a little misplaced, but I do believe she should seek as much legal protection as she can, simply because it is in her right to do so.
I absolutely concur from a civil liberties point of view. However just because she may get this overturned due to the letter of the law does not mean justice was served.
fancygirl
07-10-2008, 07:11 PM
Actually she admitted to being drunk:
"So at the end of May.... I was driving home from work... I was so mad at myself.. i went out before work with a friend and had drinks before and during work... i was pretty hammered but i wanted to drive home anyways... "
CC is addressing the story about Peanut Butter's mother, I believe.
Sirona
07-10-2008, 09:20 PM
CC is addressing the story about Peanut Butter's mother, I believe.
My bad.
Sirona
07-10-2008, 09:25 PM
Oh and KamrynAnne, i'm sorry if you feel like people have been harsh or mean or whatever. I don't think it's meant that way.
Off topic I know...
For myself, I have a really good friend who was riding his motorcycle when he was nailed by a drunk driver. It happened 5 years ago. He's STILL not walking and still has multiple surgeries in his future. This is a guy who has kids and a wife and went from making big money working for a big company to being disabled.
The person who hit him was barely over the legal limit.
People don't seem to grasp WHY there are such strict punishments for driving DUI and it totally baffles me.
thechaosfairy
07-11-2008, 03:38 AM
I don't know about jail (except that, KamrynAnne, your life is NOT over, jail is definitely not the same thing as prison) but I will say that this thread has made me think, and I wanted to thank you for posting it, because I believe we could ALL use a reminder.
I'm going to have a car soon, and so I think I ought to buy one of these:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BN32M4/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
A portable breathalyzer that you can take to work.
There are cheaper and more expensive models out there; this seems to have a reasonable ratio of reliability to price. The professional ones cost about $130, the cheapest cost about $30-40. And now that I'm thinking of it, I think every club should have one. The mouthpieces (disposable) cost about 40c apiece in bulk, and what's a half-dollar per girl when you're saving lives?
fancygirl
07-11-2008, 05:09 AM
^ my old club has those for the girls.
never uses them though. I think I've heard of them using them maybe twice and never when I worked there.
VegasPrincess
07-11-2008, 04:26 PM
^^^
I worked at a club that made all the underage girls blow if it was suspected they were drinking you and they would fire you if you had been. They would also use it if girls got really fucked up, and if so you had to get a ride home and were put on drinking probation for a month (couldn't drink booze).
It was pretty cool, that club actually gave a shit.
Arizona_Angel
07-11-2008, 04:44 PM
I was in two different county jails for traffic violations - they were out of state, a pay or stay kind of deal. One was for three days over a weekend the other overnight. It really isn't too bad. It's not like I want to go back anytime soon but in all reality in made me realize I was royally screwing up my DL. So I took it as the kick in the ass I needed to stop thinking I was so invincible.
Luckily and suprisingly I have never had a DUI but 10 days doesn't sound like too awful, as in some states it is 3 months plus. If you have to go just remember it isn't forever, it could have been far worse and just learn from it. You will be just fine.
And yes, the food is probably the worst part. :)
Sirona
07-11-2008, 05:49 PM
^^^
I worked at a club that made all the underage girls blow if it was suspected they were drinking you and they would fire you if you had been. They would also use it if girls got really fucked up, and if so you had to get a ride home and were put on drinking probation for a month (couldn't drink booze).
It was pretty cool, that club actually gave a shit.
Mine's pretty good about making sure drunk girls have rides.
They've put a few on drinking probation where they couldn't get served in the club too.
The owners/managers are good dudes :)
Glamazon
07-11-2008, 10:42 PM
Hey, at least you're not in Maricopa County, AZ!! You'd have to deal with Sheriff Joe's (ETA: that's his name, right?) "Tent City." Not fun in the summertime, I guaran-effin-tee!! And they're harsh on drunk drivers out there--your sentence would probably be much, much longer than 10 days.
ColetteCalahan
07-11-2008, 11:04 PM
CC is addressing the story about Peanut Butter's mother, I believe.
no, i wasn't... but it doesn't really matter at this point.
Dottie Rebel
07-11-2008, 11:18 PM
Prison is different from jail--it's better. A girl at my club just did a year. For some unknown reason she was to be transferred to a prison. Before she went she fought and fought the transfer trying to stay in county lock up. She went to prison and her appeal went through shortly thereafter. After spending a brief amount of time in prison she was transferred back to county. She said she was kicking herself over that decision as prison was way better than jail. My dad's done both too and he agrees.
Glamgirl
07-13-2008, 12:14 PM
My mum was in jail for 6 weeks about 4 yrs ago. She was set up by her "friends", i dont really know the details as she doesnt like to talk about it but she was supposed to have stolen money from her work. I remember this time and my mum was just payin bills, surely if she stole all this cash she woudlnt be struggling? The "friends" who testifed was ex policeman who (she later found out)was sacked for dodgy dealings. And another one of her "friends" who had testified against her had suddenly bought a very expensive house when he was poor a few months earlier so ........
Anyway it was her first offense she had a clean record and this case had been goin on for a couple of yrs and my dads health had gone downhill and my mum was seein a counsellor because she was so depressed about it all. She was advised to plead guilty(even though there was no solid evidence) and she would get community service. So she plead guilty and got 6 months, serving 6 weeks. It was a mess my dad collapsed in court she burst into tears saying she hadnt done anything. She was taken to a high sec prison with shitstained walls and bed. She was there for 2 nights before they took her to a low sec unit where she had her own room,bathroom,tv etc and she could go and sit outside and stuff. It was really really hard on her and she refuses to talk about it now.
fancygirl
07-17-2008, 04:00 PM
no, i wasn't... but it doesn't really matter at this point.
oops! sorry. my bad.