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AmberHoney
07-30-2008, 09:19 AM
Yeah...I joined...god..years ago..dont even remember now(since this is my third incarnation here!) It did get REALLY bad for awhile and I'm glad I took some time off to let it die and cool down. (plus I had been wanting to change my name for stalker issues...NOT good to have this site come up when a fan googles me)Its better now I think.
I used to lurk on this site sporadically several years ago (back when the pay for premium membership thing was popping) and even as a former non-posting lurker then, and a 'posts for 2 days straight once a month cuz I am so freaking busy' semi-lurker now... the vibe is EXTREMELY different. Extremely. A lot of outright nastiness and tactlessness and personal attacking and bad intentions.
All Good Things
07-30-2008, 09:41 AM
Not for nothing, V, but four years ago, most of y'all were pretty cool, and didn't give useless advice, start pointless threads, hang around and make thousands of fluffy posts, and generally make nuisances of yourselves. As the judgment level of the average male poster declined, our receptiveness to them decreased. Sorry to make you all responsible for the actions of the loudest and stupidest of you, but hey, welcome to our world.
Exactly.
I hardly remember any regular obnoxious male posters four years ago. Of course, the protocol was to lurk and observe the etiquette for months, and then once you start posting, maintain a very high read-to-post ratio. Mine used to be about 100-to-1 and now honestly is somewhere closer to 200-to-1. It's why -- even given my relatively high visibility on the site -- I have not yet reached 2,000 posts after nearly four years. Although that day will soon be upon us.
We also had a mantra that we repeated endlessly and observed religiously: "We are guests here." All males on pink should be on their very best guest behavior. If we all stick to that standard, the treatment of customers would improve dramatically.
One final thought -- we are a much larger community today. The Great Exodus of Long-Term Posters had about a 70% return rate under a new name and persona. As we continued to add new posters, the ability to easily identify each one of them became more of a challenge. This naturally results in a bit of a shorter fuse in dealing with them. Also, the greater the number of regular posters, the higher the likelihood that douchebags will be part of that larger number.
Miss_Luscious
07-30-2008, 10:25 AM
...so who would be the judge of who is being douche-baggy enough to ban??
Maybe we could implement a system where members can give points to other members. When the offending member reaches a certain number of points (from unique members) then their names are sent to the mods who then decided if a banning is in order. That way mods don't have to try to follow every single member around looking for bad posts and members can kind of self police. It can be a confidential and/or anoynmous thing.
AmberHoney
07-30-2008, 10:37 AM
Maybe we could implement a system where members can give points to other members. When the offending member reaches a certain number of points (from unique members) then their names are sent to the mods who then decided if a banning is in order. That way mods don't have to try to follow every single member around looking for bad posts and members can kind of self police. It can be a confidential and/or anoynmous thing.
That never really works though...and plays right into the so-called clique mentality.
If 50 girls know eachother from Las Vegas because they all worked at some mega club...and 1 girl says something about a negative experience...then theoretically 49 girls could decided to vote against her. You know? Stuff like that never works because you never know what is going on behind the scenes. What if someone's ex wife is on here and he and all his friends and family vote against her just to spite her for being a stripper and posting on a stripping board? Things like that happen. People have stalkers, haters, etc. What if a catty club manager or house mom does some shady shit?
Boards as a democracy never work well.
UtahMike
07-30-2008, 10:57 AM
After the 1,098 time customers were told they can't post in SG, I swear to God I just saw a few male posts in there the other day.
Some of the newer guys were not here during the pogrom, and they don't know any better. I noticed one male poster there the other day who is knwown for pontificating at great length and irritating the ladies, and I thought he shoulda known better, and then I remembered that he works within the industry, and so he is supposed to be able to post in SG.
I have posted in SG exactly twice since the purge last year.
Miss_Luscious
07-30-2008, 11:36 AM
That never really works though...and plays right into the so-called clique mentality.
If 50 girls know eachother from Las Vegas because they all worked at some mega club...and 1 girl says something about a negative experience...then theoretically 49 girls could decided to vote against her. You know? Stuff like that never works because you never know what is going on behind the scenes. What if someone's ex wife is on here and he and all his friends and family vote against her just to spite her for being a stripper and posting on a stripping board? Things like that happen. People have stalkers, haters, etc. What if a catty club manager or house mom does some shady shit?
Boards as a democracy never work well.
Which is exactly why the mods would have the final say. They could decide what is frivilous and what's warrented.
LilyLove
07-30-2008, 11:56 AM
I'm pretty sure that there used to be a system where people could point each other or whatever. The "karma" system or something? Apparently it didn't work so well, but I don't know the details.
i.breathe.in
07-30-2008, 12:00 PM
i personally think the mods should be around to take care of trolls, delete threads that are asked to be deleted watch for flood control and take care of account issues.
2 mods have awarded me all of my points and banned me 3 times for things that other people get away with regularly.
i dont think the site should me moderated threads closed etc just becuase people get butt hurt. if you cant take the heat stay out of the kitchen, or dont be an ass and vice versa.
Miss_Luscious
07-30-2008, 12:06 PM
i dont think the site should me moderated threads closed etc just becuase people get butt hurt. if you cant take the heat stay out of the kitchen, or dont be an ass and vice versa.
I completely agree. I'd rather be treated like an adult than to have a mod telling me it's too much for me to handle. If a poster gets out of hand, they should be delt with by the community but this deleting/closing stuff goes way too far.
wasfatboy
07-30-2008, 12:08 PM
sensitivity and respect........................
*Iris*
07-30-2008, 12:25 PM
Pffft here I was thinking this was a thread about a link to another site. Everyone get used to these threads they pop up like once or twice a month when nothing is really going on.
AmberHoney
07-30-2008, 12:35 PM
Which is exactly why the mods would have the final say. They could decide what is frivilous and what's warrented.
A lot of boards try that and then it winds up being taken away. It never works.
I'm pretty sure that there used to be a system where people could point each other or whatever. The "karma" system or something? Apparently it didn't work so well, but I don't know the details.
^^ I think you're right. Karma, Life Points, Reputation, Honor, etc...different boards use different names.
Miss_Luscious
07-30-2008, 12:39 PM
Pffft here I was thinking this was a thread about a link to another site. Everyone get used to these threads they pop up like once or twice a month when nothing is really going on.
Well they didn't use to and that's a strong indicator of things wrong with the site.
*Iris*
07-30-2008, 12:43 PM
^ I honestly don't see anything wrong with this site in the years that I have been here other than when there was a bunch of "fluff" and that's about it or the whining omg the whining and bitching about a bunch of little crap, but hey I just assume a bunch of people got their periods or something because that's when I get bitchy.
Sophia_Ashley
07-30-2008, 12:44 PM
. It's like when we aren't having a troll invasion (which will happen this is the net) these threads do pop up.
Like I said in a previous post, this site is getting larger every year. With that comes growing pains. Nothing stays the same forever, at least not when it's growing. With larger number of posters comes different personalities into the mix. People are going to clash, that's the way of life.
Lets try and keep in mind that mods here aren't bots, so they are going to have feelings and possibly agendas. They are human, just like the rest of us. It would be impossible for most to not be biased at least in some way. I've only had one issue with one ex mod. I dealt with her the same way I deal with posters I don't care for. I use the ignore function. Problem solved.
As far as the "groups" here...eh. You know, friendships form. And when people are friends they hang out...they talk on here and they are "friendly" and yes like in real life people form alliances. It happens. But I don't see it being isolating to the rest of the board. Honest to god in the 3.5 years I've posted here I've never see it actually be an issue where people felt "left out".
Granted when you are a new poster on here, people give you a little but not much attention. Most of that is because everyone is trying to get a "feel" if you are a troll etc. It's nothing I would take personal. I think most are gracious to new posters on here. But no one wants their hand bit by befriending the wrong person. Everything is taking cautiously. After awhile that goes away and people get to know you.
Can people be assholes on here? Absolutely. I'm guilty of it. Should people take and put weight on it? No.
There are male posters that were on here that yes shouldn't have been. They befriended people and then turned around and acted disgusting. Most are no longer apart of the site. But, the same can be said for female posters on here too! We just tend to notice it more, and give more attention to the males that do it since this is a female ran board. If you don't want a guys opinion on something, don't read it. It's not worth getting all riled up over.
When I said earlier this isn't real life. What I meant was, this isn't in physical form something we have to deal with. It's words. You can not log in, you can avoid topics..shit you can block people! You can't do this in the real world. Although I wish you could. Try and not take it so seriously. Things are going to bother you if you stick around long enough. But the less drama you take part in, the less you'll have to deal with.
LilyLove
07-30-2008, 01:04 PM
I keep hearing that drama does ebb and flow on this site, and in my limited (almost) two year experience here, I find that to be true. But I went and did a search and found a thread from 2004 about StripperWeb bitchiness. http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32255&highlight=stripperweb+drama
We're an internet forum. Drama comes and goes. It never will be and probably never has been shangri la.
This doesn't mean I don't think this stuff should be discussed, I just wanted to point out that "the good old days" are sort of a fairy tale sometimes.
Miss_Luscious
07-30-2008, 01:20 PM
Of course there have always been problems. The thing is, they are occuring more frequently now and not being delt with properly.
*Iris*
07-30-2008, 01:24 PM
Oh really? Would you mind pointing me in the direction where these "problems" are ?
i.breathe.in
07-30-2008, 01:29 PM
to name a few,
mods on power triips (not all)
threads being deleted and or locked or edited
preferential treatment to certain members.
i swear if moderating was kept to a minimum id be all for paying to use this site.
anomar
07-30-2008, 02:21 PM
Enh. I'm all for paying either way. Setting down requirements outside of that dependent on mod behavior isn't as realistic as keeping out the majority of trolls w/ $$.
greenidlady1
07-30-2008, 03:07 PM
Ahhh I'm sorry but life is NOT like high school. Aren't we all adults here, people?!?!! WHY do some people (not just here but in real life too) refuse to FUCKEN get out of the high school mindset?? Its so pathetic.
NOBODY HERE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL. Its time to move the fuck on>:(
(not directed at anyone in particular, more my own personal rant. But when I see and hear the word "high school" used by adults I swear it makes me want to scream)
I agree with you here but I also agree with what Jenny said regarding the fact that people will choose who they like and dislike based upon who they can relate to and those who inspire them.
I am pretty independent. I find that I get even more independent as I get older. I establish long-term relationships with very few people I meet. I honestly lack a desire to have friendships with most people in general. It's not that I think I am better than them or they're better than me. I just feel content in my own little world. I think it's human nature to want to be liked but the fact is not everybody is gonna and most of the time there will be someone else they like better.
I think that most people who liked/strived well in the social environment in high school tend to end up in "cliques". It's a good familiar feeling for them and it's comfortable. I think also children from larger families have a easier time with relationships as well. I'm an only child and wasn't exposed to a lot of other children early on. It's just not my comfort zone. I feel socially awkward in that regard. Fornuately, life can teach you to relate more effeciently as time moves on. It's absolutely necessary if you are ever going to work around people.
Jenny
07-30-2008, 03:35 PM
so who would be the judge of who is being douche-baggy enough to ban??
Why, me - who else? :)
I joke - I mean that is obviously why we don't have one and just muddle along the best we can with our limited discretion and shared wisdom.
Utah Mike - in case there is confusion about this;
Even assuming that one is a legitimate industry member one of the other mods I think made the point best when a driver asked if he could post in threads in stripping general and she replied that he could if he was posting about driving girls home. (I know - we're back to judgment and that always bodes poorly).
Andygirl
07-30-2008, 04:11 PM
to name a few,
mods on power triips (not all)
threads being deleted and or locked or edited
preferential treatment to certain members.
i swear if moderating was kept to a minimum id be all for paying to use this site.
I agree with you on this. The only problem I've had with this board is the censorship/thread closings and mods on power trips. If we could elect our moderators that would make me happy.;)
i.breathe.in
07-30-2008, 04:24 PM
if moderators played less a role in policing threads and focused on trolls and account issues there would be no need to elect them.
AmberHoney
07-30-2008, 04:29 PM
I am painfully curious to know about the power trip thing. I haven't noticed it but I don't think I'm around consistently enough.
NewMoon
07-30-2008, 04:34 PM
I personally haven't seen any mod power-tripping and I'm on this site way too much. I've run into a slight "problem" once with a mod and I PM'd her and she was wonderful and everything was worked out.
i.breathe.in
07-30-2008, 04:38 PM
well if i discuss my experiances the thread will be locked, or my posts deletes so theres no point. trust me i mentioned it once with no names and a whole thread was locked.
mods dont tend to "power trip" in the forums, they do so via pms and with points or banning.
anomar
07-30-2008, 04:42 PM
Damn, I feel like a girl at a club that has found out she's the only air dancer. I ain't noticed no dirt!
Jenny
07-30-2008, 04:45 PM
This may be a mistake, but I feel drawn to point something out.
Getting points when you don't want them doesn't mean a mod is on a power trip.
i.breathe.in
07-30-2008, 04:46 PM
no, but getting excessive points for things that get overlooked elsewhere on a regular basis and by the same mod(s) over and over is.
Jenny
07-30-2008, 04:51 PM
Or it could be that a member is repeating the same behaviour in the same sections and is simply unaware of how problems with other members are handled. We regard points as private, and unless the member chooses to make it a public issue nobody else is going to.
i.breathe.in
07-30-2008, 04:52 PM
Or it could be that a member is repeating the same behaviour in the same sections and is simply unaware of how problems with other members are handled. We regard points as private, and unless the member chooses to make it a public issue nobody else is going to.
maybe in some cases.
ExoticEngineer
07-30-2008, 05:52 PM
Or it could be that a member is repeating the same behaviour in the same sections and is simply unaware of how problems with other members are handled. We regard points as private, and unless the member chooses to make it a public issue nobody else is going to.
I was curious, how do we know if we have points?
Emily
07-30-2008, 05:58 PM
You'll get a PM telling you.
I too find it interesting that people think we don't give points to anyone but them. It happens. A lot. Just most people either:
-don't talk about it
-don't get enough (10) to get banned
-do get banned and never come back to talk about it
NewMoon
07-30-2008, 06:00 PM
How long does the ban last for?
An interesting moderation tool, indeed!
Emily
07-30-2008, 06:02 PM
it depends. a temp ban can last ten days or 3 months. It all depends on the points. Some offenses are more points, that last longer than others. For instance, trolling or calling people names is going to be worse than putting a thread in the wrong forum or bumping threads.
Jenny
07-30-2008, 06:02 PM
I was curious, how do we know if we have points?
I meant private between you and us - not private from you.
Dottie Rebel
07-30-2008, 06:04 PM
I will say I've seen a lot of threads get closed when there is nothing more than debate going on, or long after any drama has been resolved. Definitely seems power-trippy to me.
NewMoon
07-30-2008, 06:04 PM
it depends. a temp ban can last ten days or 3 months. It all depends on the points. Some offenses are more points, that last longer than others. For instance, trolling or calling people names is going to be worse than putting a thread in the wrong forum or bumping threads. Interesting!
ExoticEngineer
07-30-2008, 06:22 PM
I meant private between you and us - not private from you.
Hehehe, I figured that's what you meant, but I wasn't sure if it was something a person was notified about, a little symbol in their setting area or what.
kitana
07-30-2008, 06:23 PM
I wasn't aware there was a clique, if there is, I'm not in it and I could honestly give a flying fuck less, lol.
I'm here until Pryce or another Mod removes me, and I am fine with that.
Darcy Foxx
07-30-2008, 08:32 PM
I wish I understood how people think that being a mod is a power trip. I do what Pryce tells me to do, and what it says in the mod guidelines I was given. I do it because I care about this site and like Sophia_Ashley said, am not a robot void of feelings. I do not get any kind of sick power satisfaction from closing threads, because it's THE FUCKING INTERNET. Argh. Sorry. There is no 'power' to be gained being able to close a thread on a message board.
It's already been said in this thread, but I don't get why everyone seems to think they are the only one who gets points. You have NO IDEA who gets points, unless they choose to make it public. We point a lot of people and we stick to the guidelines we are given.
Please be aware that us mods do police each other, too. You can say one mod is on a power trip but believe me, if we see something in the moderator forums that we think is out of line or an unnecessary act of pointage, we will question that moderator on it, and when things have been deemed to be mishandled points can and will be reversed.
Darcy Foxx
07-30-2008, 08:37 PM
I really wish people would understand that the mods, as a whole, do not want drama!!! Why? Because we are the ones who have to fill in our spare time to deal with it! I would much rather spend my free time having nice discussions on this board, than cleaning threads and sitting in the mod forum trying to collectively figure out what is the best way to put a stop to the drama and bitching.
I just can't comprehend why anyone would think we enjoy creating drama or power tripping when we have to deal with threads like this.
austinatalie
07-30-2008, 08:47 PM
I think there is a big hullaballo about nothing. I have been pointed, and by a friend who happens to be a mod no less. I find the level of modhood perfectly fine.
AlexxaHex
07-30-2008, 10:38 PM
I will say I've seen a lot of threads get closed when there is nothing more than debate going on, or long after any drama has been resolved. Definitely seems power-trippy to me.
Word.
PaigeDWinter
07-30-2008, 10:44 PM
I will say I've seen a lot of threads get closed when there is nothing more than debate going on, or long after any drama has been resolved. Definitely seems power-trippy to me.
Actually there is usually more going on. Behind the scenes. Like those threads being reported, often times by multiple people. Then there are times when decisions are made higher up the food chain.
Darcy Foxx
07-30-2008, 10:50 PM
Then there are times when decisions are made higher up the food chain.
Very true. I can think of a few times that drama threads, even though they'd settled, have been closed by someone above the mods.
Andygirl
07-30-2008, 10:59 PM
Then there are times when decisions are made higher up the food chain.
So who is on top of the SW food chain? I posted a thread two weeks ago in Site Issues and it has all but been ignored. In fact, anytime I've questioned a moderator decision it has pretty much been ignored. I just don't think the moderators police each other the way you'd have us believe. It seems to me they do what they want and that's that. We don't get to have our say on it or get our complaints resolved.
I just don't think that a site like this should be closing every thread that gets a little heated. So what if a couple of people don't like it? They can walk away from the discussion. No one is forcing them to participate. I hate hate hate it when something gets directed at me in a discussion (by a moderator, no less) and the thread gets closed before I can defend myself. Then when I bring it up as a separate, non-inflammatory topic it gets shut down. It's as if the mods think we are a bunch of children on a playground who need "time outs" and other juvenile punishments.
Maybe it's just me who feels this way about it. I don't know.
Dottie Rebel
07-30-2008, 11:06 PM
^^Definitely not just you. Afterall, we are "kids", dontcha know? ::)
I certainly don't know, but I'd bet my left nut that the "reporters" are the same busy-busybodies time after time...
All Good Things
07-30-2008, 11:07 PM
^ Pryce is at the top of the food chain. If you need to reach him, your best bet is to PM Tashiya and let her know that you have a concern and you'd like to bring it to his attention.
If you have a problem with the mods, I'd take it up directly with the individual mod first. Then, if you still feel wronged, you can ask that it be posted in the mod lounge so the mods can confer on it. They generally confer on these things anyway.
Threads can be moved, locked, cleaned up or deleted for any number of reasons, many of which are not always immediately apparent. Things happen outside of view; behind the scenes. This does not make it a conspiracy or an attempt to exclude people -- it just means many people are usually affected and the decision is made to try to minimize drama, personal attacks or debates that have spiraled out of control.