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jaizaine
08-04-2008, 02:21 AM
Actually, I am kind of evil. Since we got married, my husband gets that question more than I do. He says he wishes he had a tape recorder for my child-related qoutes, among his favorites:

"where's it's owner?" my response to seeing an unattended child in the mall

"why would I give a fuck, your kid will most likely grow up to be an asshole" my typical response to 'baby on board' signs on cars- a HUGE pet peeve of mine

"that kid looks like a pug" my reaction upon seeing an ugly baby

Of course, I say it all in jest... well, except for the 'asshole' thing, I usually say that in anger after seeing obnoxious yellow signs on cars.

LOL those signs are the stupidest things ever invented. What are they supposed to mean? Oh if you are about to have an accident and drive into their car u are supposed to see the sign and go "oh ok I wont have an accident and crash into this car?" like as if u have a choice. Fucking stupid.

Lexi
08-04-2008, 06:34 AM
.....

MissAlethea
08-04-2008, 12:04 PM
My thoughts precisely (http://www.omgwallhack.org/mirror/www.misanthropic-bitch.com/kill_the_children.html)

She may be a raging misanthrope, but at least she's *funny* about it. While I commend people who really want kids, and thusly work damned hard to create a good environment for them, why can't they commend those of us who are unable or unwilling to do so, and so DON'T?

BabyGirlKylie
08-04-2008, 12:57 PM
I know for a fact that I do not want kids.
It's hard to explain to people these days, especially since so many of my friends are trying to have babies, and my best friend just found out she can't have a baby. Ever.
So I basically don't talk about it anymore with my friends. I feel pretty shitty knowing I don't want to have anything to do with babies and the one thing my friend can't do, is all she wants :-\

So, on a lighter note...when guys ask me at work, as they often do...bastards...I usually say something like this.

*make a face like I'm thinking very seriously*
"I had a goldfish once, it jumped out of the bowl. I babysat a hamster once, it ran away. So I bought an ivy plant cuz it was real pretty, but that died. I didn't know ivy died? My mom gave me a cactus to make me feel better. It died too. Holy crap, I killed a catcus? Hmm, ya know, now that you mention it, maybe I should try my luck with a kid or two?"
;D

Note: All those things actually happened :-[

BabyGirlKylie
08-04-2008, 01:05 PM
Wanda Sykes did a hilarious skit about being single and not having babies. Does anyone remember this? I can't find it online :(

virgoamm
08-04-2008, 01:09 PM
My friends totally understand why I don't have kids yet. But if it's some random person saying, "oh mah gosh! you're 30 and don't have kids! like i'm some kind of a freak" I turn it around on them and say that I'm infertile. It's nice to make them feel like assholes for judging me.

Sveta
08-05-2008, 11:27 AM
^^ even that doesn't work sometimes! They just come back with "then you can adopt!"

um NO, I just don't want squalling brats in my life, whether they have my DNA or not.

txchick008
08-05-2008, 11:47 AM
I want to cry when guys ITC ask if I have kids. Do I fucking LOOK like I have, asshole? :'( In my mind, they're basically calling me fat.



That was a really ignorant thing to say.

Sure, there are women who let themselves go after having kids (there's also women who let themselves go after getting married too!).

For every one of those women, there's a hot Mom who looks fantastic and maintains her figure. Having kids simply does NOT equal being fat, and I really don't understand why you would think that. Perhaps you need to meet more hot Mom's. :) There are LOTS of them!

I do realize that we all have our own insecurities, but if you feel 'like crying' when someone asks you if you have children, perhaps you need thicker skin. It's not a bad thing.

CKXXX
08-05-2008, 01:05 PM
^^ It isnt ignorant...I feel the same,not when someone asks if I have kids..because some people assume EVERYONE of childbearing age has kids(esp strippers who are supposed to have 12 illegitimate kids by 12 different baby daddies who are in jail..lol)..but I feel like shit when someone says I LOOK Like I have kids. Because yeah...that makes me feel like they think I am a mom who let herself go and look like it.

Sveta
08-05-2008, 02:01 PM
That was a really ignorant thing to say.

Sure, there are women who let themselves go after having kids (there's also women who let themselves go after getting married too!).

For every one of those women, there's a hot Mom who looks fantastic and maintains her figure. Having kids simply does NOT equal being fat, and I really don't understand why you would think that. Perhaps you need to meet more hot Mom's. :) There are LOTS of them!

I do realize that we all have our own insecurities, but if you feel 'like crying' when someone asks you if you have children, perhaps you need thicker skin. It's not a bad thing.

as it was said earlier...


...there is a difference between having kids and "looking like you have kids."

As far as me "needing thicker skin"...ironic, since you jumped so quickly to taking personal offense at a simple opinion.

txchick008
08-05-2008, 03:30 PM
This seems to be a topic that we simply won't agree on, and that's fine.

Although I do have thick enough skin not to "want to cry" over it or anything, I did want to voice my opinion on what I saw as an ignorant comment (equating being a Mother with being fat). Opinions are allowed, aren't they?

You voiced yours, I voiced mine - it's all good. :)

Danielle_
08-05-2008, 03:50 PM
I like how recently when asked if I had kids and said no, a guy told me "you still could", well duh, I'm only 25! A girl friend of mine asked when I was having kids and I told her as soon as I figure this dating thing out, lol.

txchick008
08-06-2008, 07:23 AM
I defintely don't feel that I was posting an "attack".

I read a variety of threads here on SW, and had no problem with this topic. I simply felt that what she said was ignorant (assuming that if someone asks if you have children, they are calling you "fat").

I guess we will have to agree to disagree DD :)

CherryBomb954
08-06-2008, 11:12 AM
So, I've come to the point now where I am just telling people that my husband has already had a vasectomy, and it's the irreversible kind (I don't even know if there is such a thing as reversible or irreversible, but whatever:D ) ........well, not even this works.

He hasn't yet, but we really plan on him getting one eventually. It's great cause even after I tell people this, they STILL persist and really reach for some solutions...

"Oh, don't worry, you guys can always adopt if you decide you want a baby" (isn't that the FUCKING POINT of a vasectomy?? NO BABY?!"
"Actually I think there is a way they can reverse a vasectomy"
*or, the guilt-laying approach*
"Oh, really? That's too bad" (yeah, poor us, it's so fucking tragic)
"You are going to regret that decision, trust me"
"What if you really decide you want a baby? Don't you think you might be tempted to leave your husband?"
"Oh, that's sad, you two would have had a beautiful child"
What gets me even more is how commonly and frequently this topic comes up. I guess it's just one of those things.

Mia M
08-06-2008, 12:29 PM
^^^ I've actuallyonly had one person ever question my anti-breeding stance... the standard response, surprisingly enough, is very supportive, "it's good that you know what you want" and "They're certainly not for everyone".

The one woman who just couldn't wrap her head around my voluntarily empty womb had two kids. The first day I saw her, she went on and on about how great kids are and how they'll make me a better person, blah, blah, blah. About a week later, her two kids were going ape shit in thier strollers, writhing and screaming about god know what... as she past me she said, "remember what I said when I last saw you? Forget about it!"

MeanGirl
08-06-2008, 12:58 PM
I defintely don't feel that I was posting an "attack".

I read a variety of threads here on SW, and had no problem with this topic. I simply felt that what she said was ignorant (assuming that if someone asks if you have children, they are calling you "fat").

I guess we will have to agree to disagree DD :)

I agree with you on this and can see your pov, i didn't think it was attacking either.


I have been with my husband for 12 years and we don't have kids. It's not really by choice however, people look at me like Im crazy when they find out how long we've been together and have no kids. They are always asking why we don't want them or what's wrong and it's quite annoying. Then they go on and on about fertility drugs and things to help, when they seriously have no idea about my situation.

jaizaine
08-07-2008, 02:45 AM
^^ It isnt ignorant...I feel the same,not when someone asks if I have kids..because some people assume EVERYONE of childbearing age has kids(esp strippers who are supposed to have 12 illegitimate kids by 12 different baby daddies who are in jail..lol)..but I feel like shit when someone says I LOOK Like I have kids. Because yeah...that makes me feel like they think I am a mom who let herself go and look like it.

Exactly and it's not exactly going to be construed as a compliment if someone looks at your body and asks if you have had kids. Are there many hot mums out there? Yes. But in general if someone thinks u look like u have had kids, they do not mean it in a complimentary way.

bellasera
08-08-2008, 01:34 AM
Wanda Sykes did a hilarious skit about being single and not having babies. Does anyone remember this? I can't find it online :(
omg sooo funny! ""Kids, they're a lot of work, but there worth it." They never look you in the eyes when they say that"

pookie
08-08-2008, 02:57 AM
oooooooh oooooooooooooooohh oooooooooooooohhh! I have one!!!! :D

"Just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I have to use it"

sexy_celeste
08-08-2008, 06:36 AM
I once told a guy who was bugging me for extras (ALL FRICKEN NIGHT!) that I didnt have kids cos I didnt want to pass on my HIV.

He stopped asking for extras, AND asking personal questions :)

Optimist
08-08-2008, 07:17 AM
Wanda Sykes did a hilarious skit about being single and not having babies. Does anyone remember this? I can't find it online :(
For you Madame

http://www.comedycentral.com/comedians/browse/s/wanda_sykes.jhtml

thechaosfairy
08-08-2008, 09:00 PM
Next time some GUY tells me to have kids I'll start informing him of all the research money into getting men pregnant (and I mean fully anatomical men -- I know of more than one transgendered man who was born with female anatomy and had a kid, yeah) and tell him he ought to try it.

:D

StarryEyes
08-08-2008, 10:09 PM
I do think it is pretty dumb of people to think that everyone HAS to and SHOULD have kids. It's not for everyone.

Just tell them that as great kids are, you are choosing a different path in life and you don't anticipate changing your mind anytime soon. While it may be the best thing that has happened to some people, you have other things in life that make you happy and fulfilled too.

SnakeBabe
08-09-2008, 10:24 AM
...
Just tell them that as great kids are, you are choosing a different path in life and you don't anticipate changing your mind anytime soon. While it may be the best thing that has happened to some people, you have other things in life that make you happy and fulfilled too.

Good answer and it should work
But-
They often take a clear, polite and simple answer like that as an insult and feel the need to start defending themselves.

Why don't they just let it go! Ugh
Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria.

VegasPrincess
08-09-2008, 10:54 AM
I REALLY do not want children. I'm 26 allready....I feel like if I wanted one, I would want one by now....and I am NOWHERE in a position with my education, financially, to have one so....

Plus I LOVE my lifestyle and really don't want a kid....My dogs a lot of work sometimes, but at least I can lock her in a cage when I want to leave the house! I think I'd get in trouble if I did that to my kids.

NinaDaisy
08-09-2008, 12:23 PM
I haven't read the whole thread, but here's my take...

It's a deeply personal choice and not wanting your own children doesn't automatically mean you hate them, which it seems too many people assume.

Too many people already have kids for all the wrong reasons and can't take care of them. If you already know you don't want them, why bow down to societal pressure?

There are plenty of people out there who choose to be child-free. Even though I'd like children someday, I for one don't begrudge them.

Optimist
08-09-2008, 02:09 PM
I don't think it's sooo bad to hate kids. I think there are a lot of people in the closet about hating them when they should be able to be honest. They're often loud, violent, and obnoxious. Dealing with these mini-cavemen its not a picnic! I think women do each other a disservice to keep pretending motherhood is easy and essential to womanhood. It ain't! It's just another choice.

LadyM
08-09-2008, 04:40 PM
Tell them to mind their own business, quite frankly. My hubby and I don't want kids and he's already been 'snipped' so we don't end up with any.

Or you could simply tell them you don't discuss your personal life and life choices with causal acquaintances.

LadyM
08-09-2008, 04:41 PM
My dogs a lot of work sometimes, but at least I can lock her in a cage when I want to leave the house! I think I'd get in trouble if I did that to my kids.

Hell, I'm thinking that might be a good idea to do with my husband when he's too much work! lol

LadyM
08-09-2008, 04:57 PM
I get this all the time.

People ask why I don't have kids, I so I don't want them, and they look at me like I'm the anti-christ, or worse, tell me that patronizing, "Oh you'll change your mind".

It drives me nuts.

I've actually tried to go to doctors to have my tubes tied, and they laugh me off and say I have to wait until I'm older or...(my favorite part) until I have kids.

It boggles my mind that you can get a sex change at my age, but you can't decide to not have children. *bangs head in*

AMEN! I have a friend with a familiar history of bi-polarism, herself included. She doesn't want kids and given her condition seriously SHOULND'T have them, and she's tried to have her tubes tied, even tried paying for it out of her own pocket. Not a single doctor would go for it and she's nearly 30.

My hubby wanted his vasectomy at barely 24, the Navy and it's insurance didn't blink, and the doctor we were referred to just gave us a five minute speech about it being difficult to reverse, and then made the appointment. Love to know the reproductive freedom is so alive and well in our country *eyeroll*

txchick008
08-09-2008, 06:00 PM
I don't think it's sooo bad to hate kids. I think there are a lot of people in the closet about hating them when they should be able to be honest.

Amen!

I am the mother of 2, and I still proclaim (usually quite loudly), that I can't stand any kids OTHER than my own....:O Most are completely annoying and make me uncomfortable...*not ashamed*

LOL!

CherryBomb954
08-09-2008, 08:28 PM
I REALLY do not want children. I'm 26 allready....I feel like if I wanted one, I would want one by now....



I'm 27 gonna be 28 in a few weeks and my favorite response to that is "Oh well you're SO YOUNG..... you have SO MUCH TIME......you'll probably change your mind"

OK, I don't think 26 or 27 is old but it's not extremely young either, for purposes of this conversation. I think by now I am pretty set in my ways.

Nautilus
08-11-2008, 12:17 AM
My answer (for when I was adamant I wasn't having any offspring)

"I'm too selfish"

They assume you're a self-centred bitch and go on their smug way with their free sense of superiority.

You couldn't give a rats either way. problem solved.

It's just a pisser "if" you do change your mind coz all those smug bastards come back and say, "told you!!!" :grrr:

jaizaine
08-11-2008, 12:32 AM
I don't think it's sooo bad to hate kids. I think there are a lot of people in the closet about hating them when they should be able to be honest. They're often loud, violent, and obnoxious. Dealing with these mini-cavemen its not a picnic! I think women do each other a disservice to keep pretending motherhood is easy and essential to womanhood. It ain't! It's just another choice.

Great post.

StarryEyes
08-12-2008, 12:35 AM
Good answer and it should work
But-
They often take a clear, polite and simple answer like that as an insult and feel the need to start defending themselves.

Why don't they just let it go! Ugh
Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria.

I know! Seriously. They should just let it go.

Just tell them to fuck off. LOL! j/k.

Mia M
08-12-2008, 05:41 AM
I'm 27 gonna be 28 in a few weeks and my favorite response to that is "Oh well you're SO YOUNG..... you have SO MUCH TIME......you'll probably change your mind"

OK, I don't think 26 or 27 is old but it's not extremely young either, for purposes of this conversation. I think by now I am pretty set in my ways.

I'm 30... ain't gonna happen.

holly07
08-14-2008, 04:48 PM
I'm the same way. I just say I have dogs whydo i need kids? I can leave the house and not pay a sitter.

AlexxaHex
08-16-2008, 10:19 PM
I had one guy last week say "arent your parents disappointed in you for not giving them grandchildren?"

WTF?? I said "no...they arent selfish enough to want me to breed when I dont want kids just to give them something to brag about...why are YOUR parents like that? Thats sad..adults should make their OWN decisions on reproduction...not pop out progeny because mommy and daddy still rule their lives..including their sperm and uterus"

Shut him up...

My dad is one of those selfish, narcissistic people that keeps harassing me about having more babies. I just reply, "Do you have a bunch of money you're going to give us that I don't know about yet? Cuz kids are fuckin' expensive.". But my dad has always been the type to not work and live off of his ex wives so he wouldn't know. That usually shuts HIM up.

Jess and I will have more kids when we are good and ready, that is IF we do. I want them, but if I find myself in a position where it wouldn't be ideal, I won't do it. Having or not having kids for the right reasons can both be selfless acts.




"Because life is better with sleep."

Ain't THAT the fuckin truth! If there is one thing I miss most about not having a kid it's being able to sleep as much as I want, whenever I want to. It's not all the crazy partying I used to do at all, or even the free time to pursue my interests. It's the sleep.


Amen!

I am the mother of 2, and I still proclaim (usually quite loudly), that I can't stand any kids OTHER than my own....:O Most are completely annoying and make me uncomfortable...*not ashamed*

LOL!

I don't like other kids all that much either. Kembra is awesome. I love spending my time with her. But when people with bratty kids are around I just feel like wanting to protect her from them. Most of them are raised on all kinds of crap food and have no manners. Except all the cute SW babies of course.

Optimist
08-18-2008, 06:38 AM
Amen!

I am the mother of 2, and I still proclaim (usually quite loudly), that I can't stand any kids OTHER than my own....:O Most are completely annoying and make me uncomfortable...*not ashamed*

LOL!




I don't like other kids all that much either. Kembra is awesome. I love spending my time with her. But when people with bratty kids are around I just feel like wanting to protect her from them. Most of them are raised on all kinds of crap food and have no manners. Except all the cute SW babies of course.

YUP! That's it exactly! Most kids I don't like because most kids aren't being raised right. I DON'T want to be around a violent, screaming, psycho even if it's only 3ft tall! I don't want to take their punches or spitting on me or slamming my shit on the ground with a big grin. You hit me I want to knock-you-the-hell-out kid or no kid. To even say that, the world jumps on you and says "how can you say that?????" Gimme a break! Some people raise their kids to curse people, steal from them, attack them so, sorry, I'm not so sentimental that I'm OK with being treated like crap by that special class of little people.

Having said this, the kids I've cared for as a summer nanny (many moons ago) were the greatest kids and I'd feel lucky to have any of them as my own. But most of NJ/NY's little heathens can fuck off! :rotfl: