View Full Version : Question for the boys
Jenny
08-17-2008, 06:57 PM
I take life plenty seriously, but I also know when to take it not-so-seriously. Stomping out every verstige of what SOME women might see as male-domination is over the top.
Some women think of a penis as a weapon. Do I have to take them seriously too?
See? This is actually sort of cute: I didn't say a thing about "male domination". I talked about courtesy and discourtesy and politeness and rudeness. Not "male domination".
And guys wonder where I get the idea that anti-feminism isn't just reactionary. It's like if you know I'm a feminist you have to start arguing about and justifying male domination completely absent any mention of it from me - ya'all just can't wait to bring it up. I find a similar experience being a vegetarian. Do we have any communists here? Do you have the same thing?
I suggest that the majority of women the majority of the time will not appreciate being catcalled or see it a pleasantry; I don't think anyone would realistically dispute that if not a majority a significant number of women most of the time would find it unwelcome. I'm asking how you would determine that it is funny and welcome, and who gets to determine that it is funny and welcome (the callers or the called). You don't seem to know... so I'm confused about... well, how you know when to do it and when to, you know, just keep the howling to your in-your-head voice.
yoda57us
08-18-2008, 07:23 AM
I take life plenty seriously, but I also know when to take it not-so-seriously. Stomping out every verstige of what SOME women might see as male-domination is over the top.
Some women think of a penis as a weapon. Do I have to take them seriously too?
Wow, talk about coming out of left field with total irrelevance...
Anyhoo...your POV keeps coming back to the same key issue for me. What we are talking about here is plain and simple bad public behavior. If you or any other guys find it cute or amusing in certain situations that is, I suppose, your business but it's pretty much irrelevant as to weather or not i is acceptable behavior. It's not.
josie
08-19-2008, 01:24 PM
...I do see something wrong with it in that it's rude...but on the other hand, it can also be funny if in the right context and if the woman being catcalled takes it lightheartedly.
Interesting...But how do you know when it is "right context"? Like, wouldn't you have to be psychic? I can't think of any situation in which cat calling would be appropriate or funny.
xdamage
08-19-2008, 05:20 PM
Interesting...But how do you know when it is "right context"? Like, wouldn't you have to be psychic? I can't think of any situation in which cat calling would be appropriate or funny.
This is why it's best to just not do it. Since there is no way to know who will be offended or made to feel unsafe or uncomfortable, it's best to just skip it.
But I admit, when I was a much younger man my awareness of such things was not as clear as it is now. Such is life. When one is a teenager and the hormones are flowing freely, well guys have a way of acting first, thinking second.
UtahMike
08-19-2008, 11:14 PM
Shoes are pretty. The same reason you might want to own more than one shirt. Still sane?
One shirt would do it for me if I didn't need something to wear when it got dirty. The only reason my shirts all look different is so people can tell that I do change them and don't worry about getting within smelling distance.
I had a friend in college who owned five shirts exactly alike and three pair of pants exactly alike. People thought he never changed his clothes, but he said that what he owned was what he liked, so why should he buy something else?
Returning to the thread topic, what about guys driving down the street hollering "Show me your tits!"? Or, I was in line at a convenience store yesterday with Mrs. UtahMike, and on the rear window of the truck it read, "Got tits? Show me!"
UtahMike
08-19-2008, 11:18 PM
I'm having trouble figuring out what the right context would be...we are not talking about polite compliments here, we are talking about cat calls. When is this not simply rude behavior?
I rather regularly whistle at Mrs. UtahMike and say such things as, "Nice nips," "Nice ass," and "May I finger your pussy?" This is in private, of course, not inline at Walmart or wherever.
yoda57us
08-20-2008, 05:11 AM
I rather regularly whistle at Mrs. UtahMike and say such things as, "Nice nips," "Nice ass," and "May I finger your pussy?" This is in private, of course, not inline at Walmart or wherever.
And I see absolutely nothing wrong with that...
Jenny
08-20-2008, 05:53 AM
Mike, are you seriously telling me that you don't understand why someone might want to own more than one shirt? Can you then just accept that the vast majority of the north american population with the means to own more than one shirt probably wants more than one shirt?
I rather regularly whistle at Mrs. UtahMike and say such things as, "Nice nips," "Nice ass," and "May I finger your pussy?" This is in private, of course, not inline at Walmart or wherever.
Well one of the first questions I asked was if he was talking about women that the callers knew, as opposed to strangers. I'm pretty sure this thread is talking about strangers though.
Finally - I actually don't think it has anything to do with hormones. I don't think guys are sitting or driving around thinking "looking at her just made me so horny right now, I just have to... "Woo hoo baby! Woo hoo!"" I think they think it's funny and it's something to do.
xdamage
08-20-2008, 10:31 PM
Finally - I actually don't think it has anything to do with hormones. I don't think guys are sitting or driving around thinking "looking at her just made me so horny right now, I just have to... "Woo hoo baby! Woo hoo!"" I think they think it's funny and it's something to do.
People are biological beings. Every bit of evidence is that their behavior and chemicals in their body are strongly related. Lets take some obvious examples that are clear from everyday experiences -
o People who ingest alcohol have changes in behavior.
o Women who have PMS often manifest behavioral changes.
o Men with low testosterone have changes in behavior.
o Men with overly high testosterone have changes in behavior.
o Women who under-go sex changes and go on testosterone therapy report dramatic changes in their thoughts.
o People who take drugs that alter brain chemistry have changes in behavior (e.g., anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, drugs to manage bi-polar disorder).
o People use recreational drugs have changes in behavior.
Also their behavior is related to how their brains are wired, damage such as physical damage, or developmental damage, and their behaviors are often dramatically altered.
--
The degree to which humans feel sex drive is biological, both based on chemicals in the body, and on how the brain is wired.
You are not a male. Following along the same lines that customers are not strippers and therefore don't really understand what is like to be a stripper). This makes you a non-expert in the area of males, how they feel, what drives them.
Several males have already said the drive to speak up when they see a hot female is just below the surface. Categorizing it as just something to do, like playing cards to pass the time, is sort of like a man saying that women's biological drive to have children (the so called ticking clock) is just a recreational activity.
--
It is possible that you are asexual. Some people are, and though they do have sex, they often do not relate to what drives others around them. Such people often don't understand the strong desires people have towards each other or understand why they do much of what they do.
--
Often times people confuse social training and expectations (e.g., behave in public) which masks our "animal" nature with our deeper human nature. /shrug, it is common popular think, but fortunately evolutionary psychologists are re-questioning such popular think.
One way to better understand people is to look at what animals might do when they are in a state of sexual arousal. For example does the animal say to himself "maybe I better not approach that female because it might make her uncomfortable?" or does he show his interest, and accept the rejection, then move on and try it again with another? That can give some insights into what is social training and what is underlying drive.
mr_punk
08-21-2008, 06:20 PM
People are biological beings. Every bit of evidence is that their behavior and chemicals in their body are strongly related.except the Canadians. they're cyborgs (french-canadians excluded, but i hear the non french-canadians are working on that).
Docido
08-21-2008, 06:39 PM
I tend to have a bit of anxiety throwing away anything. I worry about its imaginary feelings. I know. Things don't have feelings. And yet. Getting rid of a book or a table fan and I'm putting it outside saying "Look, it's not you, it's me. You've been a good fan, but there have been advances in fan technology and it's time to move on. I'm sorry." Clothing is the worst because you, like, wear it.
Attachment to material things will keep you from Nirvana saith the Buddha
threlayer
08-26-2008, 11:58 AM
I think the OP? is unanswerable unless you're the a person who does that.
I would think that a few preliminary words would be preferrable to both parties. :)
However, I am not too successful in introducing myself to women that I feel would be desirable (exception: clubs). So don't ask me for more details.
UtahMike
08-26-2008, 12:21 PM
Mike, are you seriously telling me that you don't understand why someone might want to own more than one shirt? Can you then just accept that the vast majority of the north american population with the means to own more than one shirt probably wants more than one shirt?
Sure, I understand that. My father was a clothes horse, and so is my son. Maybe it skips a generation. I am possibly apathetic about clothes because my father was so fanatic about them, and my son is perhaps fanatic about clothes because I don't give a damn about them.
I am told by my older sister that when she was young, my father (living in a small farming community in southern Minnesota) would wear a three piece suit, shoes with spats, a "skimmer" straw hat, and carry a walking stick. People in the community thought him a bit strange, she said.
The worst for me is socks. Once I remove them from the dryer with a transparent heel I look at them in consternation all "I'm never going to find another pair of socks with little cartoon representations of piggy heaven on them."
When I wear out a sock, I tie a knot in it to distinguish it from the socks that are still wearable, and it then becomes a cleaning rag.
BTW, I hve only two styles of socks--grey socks that I wear with casual shoes and hiking boots, and black ones that I wear with dress shoes. I own three pair of shoes--one wing tip Doc Martins, a pair of hiking boots, and a pair of moccasins.
Jenny, your affection for your piggy heaven socks is touching, and it makes me love you even more. It's like something a little girl would say, and that's sweet.
Mr Hyde
09-20-2008, 12:41 PM
See? This is actually sort of cute: I didn't say a thing about "male domination". I talked about courtesy and discourtesy and politeness and rudeness. Not "male domination".
And guys wonder where I get the idea that anti-feminism isn't just reactionary. It's like if you know I'm a feminist you have to start arguing about and justifying male domination completely absent any mention of it from me - ya'all just can't wait to bring it up. I find a similar experience being a vegetarian. Do we have any communists here? Do you have the same thing?
I suggest that the majority of women the majority of the time will not appreciate being catcalled or see it a pleasantry; I don't think anyone would realistically dispute that if not a majority a significant number of women most of the time would find it unwelcome. I'm asking how you would determine that it is funny and welcome, and who gets to determine that it is funny and welcome (the callers or the called). You don't seem to know... so I'm confused about... well, how you know when to do it and when to, you know, just keep the howling to your in-your-head voice.
Let's turn this around...if a good looking guy is walking down the street in tight jeans and t-shirt, and a group of women whistle at him and cat-call him, is that ok? Is it kinda fun/funny?