View Full Version : Rant: Stripping is not really work
Rockell
08-24-2008, 08:47 PM
I really don't care if I get flamed for this....
A- what was the point of the thread if you've already decided all this? Why didn't you just state all the above mentioned in the beginning of the thread?
B- you should know the stigma that comes with dancing. it's not like people go around high-fiving you for being one.
c- does he know the kid you're pregnant with now, isn't is? i don't find it fair to throw that child onto him when it was your mistake with someone else
A- I wasn't really asking for advice (though the advice given is appreciated) I was simply venting that I am frustrated because no one in my life thinks that I (in their opinion) have a real job-something I think that in one way or another we all as dancers can relate to.
B- I'm not expecting praise for being a dancer either, but I don't want them to think that I'm lazy and don't earn a living for myself or my family.
C- He knows the child isn't his and has known it since day one. He is fine with it. I am in no way throwing it onto him. I know that the child is my and the real father's responsibility and I would not expect my boyfriend to do anything he wasn't comfortable with.
Arizona_Angel
08-24-2008, 08:52 PM
Reminds me of a joke....
what's the difference between aspirin and a stripper's boyfriend?
Aspirin works.
Ha ha! Too funny...and waaay too true...
Dottie Rebel
08-24-2008, 08:54 PM
princessparis: FUCK. yes. :rotfl: I agree with you 100%. Stripping is a job for me. I work regularly, taking off only for sick time and vacations. When I am at work I am hustling non-stop. It is like any sales job--it is what you make of it. I work as hard as any sales person, except car salesmen or insurance salesmen aren't personally demeaned, degraded, or mildly to severely assaulted at work.
Now then. I am going to talk to you like I would talk to my best girlfriend, so I hope you can read it in that spirit. I swear to you, this is what I would tell my own sister.
I don't even know where to start with your post, girl. I don't understand why you got pregnant in the first place. Were you not taking precautions? You are in no position to be playing sexual russian roulette. Now that you are pregnant, your plan is to just keep the baby and use government assistance? Is it the public's fault that you now have TWO children you can't adequately care for on your own? I can't believe you have chosen to have this baby, but It is too late for you to have an abortion. So here we are.
Your boyfriend is white trash scum, as are his family. Only absolute trash would demand money for babysitting their GRANDCHILD. Not to mention $50 a NIGHT. Despicable. I will probably get flamed for that, but I stand by it. Your boyfriend is completely shiftless, lazy and worthless. He is also abusive, if for no other reason than he has managed to distort your upstanding, responsible decision to strip to support your family into something bad. That is emotional abuse.
Why would you quit your job in order to appease people who a) are themselves worthless scum and b) are contributing nothing helpful to your life? You could have one child watched for a week for around $100 by any baby sitter or center, not just TWO NIGHTS. And you could get put down, abused, and shat upon by lots of people for free. You wouldn't even have to pay their bills. In my opinion stripping (and going to school!!) is the most responsible thing you are doing right now. Please don't quit a good-paying, respectable job just because some people are ignorant assholes.
It seems you are scared to leave him because you think he is somehow making things easier or he provides a comfort in some way--like at least you're not alone. But think about it--how much better off would you be if you weren't having to support a THIRD child? As for him being a "good" father to your children--how exactly do you figure? He's nice to your child and your child likes him? That doesn't mean much. Does he set a good example? Provide appropriate discipline? Provide for needs and wants within his means? THAT is what a father does.
Looks like you're about to have two children and a worthless asshole for a total of three dependants. If you stick with him you have absolutely no right to complain about a damn thing to anyone.
I don't think you'll leave. But if you do you'll be my personal hero. Most women stick around for this kind of shit because they lack the dignity and self-respect to direct the course of their own lives independent from a man. PLEASE be different. If not only for your own sake, for the sake of your two children.
Also: Emily, I present my first siggy quote!
Arizona_Angel
08-24-2008, 08:57 PM
A- I wasn't really asking for advice (though the advice given is appreciated) I was simply venting that I am frustrated because no one in my life thinks that I (in their opinion) have a real job-something I think that in one way or another we all as dancers can relate to.
B- I'm not expecting praise for being a dancer either, but I don't want them to think that I'm lazy and don't earn a living for myself or my family.
C- He knows the child isn't his and has known it since day one. He is fine with it. I am in no way throwing it onto him. I know that the child is my and the real father's responsibility and I would not expect my boyfriend to do anything he wasn't comfortable with.
I think that the frustration you see in some postings stems from the fact that so many girls put themselves in relationships that are damaging or worthless or stupid or all of the above and continue to do it. Over and over.
Some of us choose to hang onto relationships that will just screw us in the end. Why not eliminate all the bullsh*t stress in your life...meaning lose the douchebag? He obviously doesn't respect you and you deserve better. I am sure you have your reasons for staying but is having to support some jackass one of them?
AlexxaHex
08-24-2008, 09:01 PM
Looks like you're about to have two children and a worthless asshole for a total of three dependants. If you stick with him you have absolutely no right to complain about a damn thing to anyone.
Totally. This is your choice, Rockell. Stop and think for a second. Is this a good choice or a bad choice? And if you are consciously making a bad choice, why?
Jenny
08-24-2008, 09:07 PM
Whoa - the only thing that I'm "informing" others of is my opinion and personal experience. Stripping has by no means been a purely pleasant experience for me, but I do think it's been easier than other jobs I've had (mostly because of the short shifts and relatively few hours). If others find it very hard work, than that has been their experience. No where did I say anyone else was wrong. I'm legitimately curious to which jobs other strippers are comparing it. There are clearly other posters who agree with me, so I'm not sure why you have chosen to attack me.I'm not attacking you, I'm responding to a post that specifically responded to one of mine - you quoted me and everything. I thought that made us friends.
I think there is some confusion here about what constitutes working hard. Like yes - in some places stripping provides a (potentially) high return for low hours - those are the benefits I was speaking of. It doesn't really change the fact that the hours I spend working are not easy hours. Saying it is "a hard job" is not the same as saying it is "an irredeemably bad job" or that "there are no good things about this job". But I feel, when I go to work, that I have a hard job.
britneyireland
08-24-2008, 09:08 PM
I couldn't have said it any better my self Alexxa!
Rockell
08-24-2008, 09:09 PM
I Now that you are pregnant, your plan is to just keep the baby and use government assistance? Is it the public's fault that you now have TWO children you can't adequately care for on your own? I can't believe you have chosen to have this baby, but It is too late for you to have an abortion. So here we are.
I would only be using government subsidized daycare-which means that the state helps pay for private daycare while the parents work 20 hours per week or go to school and work 10 hours per week the parents pay the rest. I would only do this if I got a regular job because I would not be making enough money to pay for $300+ per week daycare. I have never and would never use government assistance for food stamps, cash assistance, etc. I don't like the idea of using government benefits either but there is no other option (besides stripping) if I want to get a day job and finish school.
Darcy Foxx
08-24-2008, 09:13 PM
i think stripping is hard work. one of the hardest parts is constantly seeing or hearing about the countless nice girls who won't get themselves out of shit situations like this and worse.
Dottie Rebel
08-24-2008, 09:14 PM
^^^You really seem like a good person. Again, I feel like a shit for speaking so harshly, but I hope you know it's just because I want to shake you and hug you and hide you and your kid away in my spare bedroom until you can manage on your own, emotionally.
Why would you stop stripping? Of all the things in your life you should cut out I'd say your boyfriend and his family come WAY before stripping. Stripping is actually *helping* you, not holding you back.
hehehaha
08-24-2008, 09:25 PM
i think stripping is a very hard job, i did not do any other excercise for 2 year, my body is tight and sexy. mentially, i have to take a break every couple of months. we deal with lots of drunk assholes, it s not easy.
i serously think you should stop working soon because you are pregnant. so you should sit your butt home,wait for the selfish man to take care all the bills.
MysteriousMisty
08-24-2008, 09:27 PM
I haven't read all the responses yet but if you stop stripping to support yourself and your son, you'll just be trying to make the assholes happy instead of yourself. If the family of that so called boyfriend of your's is constantly putting you down because of your job, STOP lending them money. YOU'RE the one who takes care of your son, what the hell are they doing for you in return???? They certainly don't deserve your help financially.
As for that fucking loser of a boyfriend, why on earth are you with with him if he's too fucking lazy to even get a job to help support you and his own baby?!?! You seem to be aware of the fact that you can do a hell of a lot better than him since you know he's a damn loser. A REAL MAN has a job and believes in taking care of himself, his wife or girlfriend and especially his own offspring. Your child needs a father in his life. Not a worthess sperm donor. Why the hell should you get only 3 hours of sleep after working all night????? He should be a man and help take care of your son instead of expecting YOU to support both of them.
Stripping is hard work and even harder when you have a child to raise. Its one thing to have a bad night when its only yourself to take care of. Its a whole different ball game when you have an baby to look after. Working all night takes a lot of energy. Dealing with all kinds of people and trying to make a sufficient amount of money is physically and emotionally draining. Its not all about shaking ass and sticking ass, pussy and tits in a guy's face for money. If you're gonna stop dancing for a living, do so because YOU want to. Not to please some worthless assholes just because they put you down. They're not doing a fucking thing to support you emotionally or financially so why the hell should you even care what they think? They should be putting down that fucking loser you're living with since he's too damn lazy and spineless to be a man and get a fucking job!!!
Sorry if this comes across harsh but ask yourself what that fucking bum does for you besides screw you when he's horny? How the hell does sex help you take care of your bills, keep a roof over your head and clothes on the backs of you and your son?????? Who the hell is he to call you lazy when all he does is sleep, eat, smoke pot and watch television.?!?! I hope you think better of yourself than to put up with him. How you put up with him this long shocks me. I hate it when girls support fucking losers that are too damn lazy to go out and be a man by getting a job to support themselves. I hope he's not physically abusive as well as being so damn lazy. I'd hate to hear that you've wound up like a woman who was married to a dirt bag that was too lazy to work, always took all her money, beat her frequently, threw her out of her own house, attempted to take her car and beat her so badly that her face was swollen. Some dancers wind up being murdered by their abusive boyfriends/husbands.
Rockell
08-24-2008, 09:31 PM
^^^You really seem like a good person. Again, I feel like a shit for speaking so harshly, but I hope you know it's just because I want to shake you and hug you and hide you and your kid away in my spare bedroom until you can manage on your own, emotionally.
Why would you stop stripping? Of all the things in your life you should cut out I'd say your boyfriend and his family come WAY before stripping. Stripping is actually *helping* you, not holding you back.
Thank you, and I know that stripping is helping me, not holding me back. Dancing has allowed me to move out of my parents house at 18, drive nice cars, go to school, provide for my son and be there to spend time with him during the day. I do plan on returning to stripping after my child is born, but sometimes the constant put downs and rude comments (not just by my boyfriend and his family but almost EVERYONE I know including my own family and friends) that after 5 years it has started to wear me down. Yet these same people are always expecting handouts and never feeling guilty about it because, in their mind, it was easy or "dirty" money that I didn't actually "earn" or have to work for.
StarryEyes
08-24-2008, 09:34 PM
If you're gonna stop dancing for a living, do so because YOU want to. Not to please some worthless assholes just because they put you down. They're not doing a fucking thing to support you emotionally or financially so why the hell should you even care what they think? They should be putting down that fucking loser you're living with since he's too damn lazy and spineless to be a man and get a fucking job!!!
Seriously!!!
StarryEyes
08-24-2008, 09:35 PM
Thank you, and I know that stripping is helping me, not holding me back. Dancing has allowed me to move out of my parents house at 18, drive nice cars, go to school, provide for my son and be there to spend time with him during the day. I do plan on returning to stripping after my child is born, but sometimes the constant put downs and rude comments (not just by my boyfriend and his family but almost EVERYONE I know including my own family and friends) that after 5 years it has started to wear me down. Yet these same people are always expecting handouts and never feeling guilty about it because, in their mind, it was easy or "dirty" money that I didn't actually "earn" or have to work for.
Then fuck 'em. If they can't see that you are doing what you have to do so that you can support and spend quality time with family, then fuck 'em.
Save your money, get your kids, and run.
Jenny
08-24-2008, 09:37 PM
Yet these same people are always expecting handouts and never feeling guilty about it because, in their mind, it was easy or "dirty" money that I didn't actually "earn" or have to work for.Okay, you need to separate yourself from this behaviour. Don't lend or give money away just cuz they think you owe it to the universe to divest yourself of your dirty money. Especially at a time in your life when you need it.You might not be able to walk away from your own family so easily, but you can still draw boundaries - as in - "you don't have to like what I do, but you do have to respect me as a person." With your friends as well. Keep in mind that some people may be worried about you, and it might not all be coming from a bad place - but that doesn't mean you can't draw boundaries around it.
Finally - I must stress again, that you don't need to deal with this behaviour from your boyfriend or his family at all. But if you are dead set determined to stay with this loser who you don't seem to even like, much less love then same things apply - you can set boundaries. As in - "this is my job, it will be treated as a job henceforth, you shall pull your damn weight in the household and stop treating my labour as unimportant."
Sveta
08-24-2008, 09:37 PM
Why would you stop stripping?
She'll have to stop at least for a few months to half a year, if she's keeping the baby. But I agree, stripping is the best weapon you've got when it comes to getting ahead and finishing school.
Dottie Rebel
08-24-2008, 09:38 PM
I do plan on returning to stripping after my child is born, but sometimes the constant put downs and rude comments (not just by my boyfriend and his family but almost EVERYONE I know including my own family and friends) that after 5 years it has started to wear me down. Yet these same people are always expecting handouts and never feeling guilty about it because, in their mind, it was easy or "dirty" money that I didn't actually "earn" or have to work for.
I know, honey. :'( My in-laws hate me, too. Maybe has something to do with my long and emotional post to you. :D Luckily my husband is on my side.
I hope you have people around you who are on your side and who are willing to help you. I will be thinking about you.
Rockell
08-24-2008, 09:48 PM
But I agree, stripping is the best weapon you've got when it comes to getting ahead and finishing school.
Exactly. I would never be able to support myself (let alone children) and go to school while working a shit minimum wage job. Stripping is the only way for me to finish in a timely manner. Of course, in his family's eyes, it would be sooooo much better for me to forgo college altogether and work at Wal-Mart like his POS mother who was a crackhead and abandoned her 2 children. Or his two sisters who don't work at all and live in shitty dirty little apartments. Or his grandmother (the same one who watched my son while I worked) who has 5 kids, no husband, and his been collecting welfare since like 1968. But yeah, they are superior human beings because they "don't take their clothes off for money"/ >:(
hot4ablackchick
08-25-2008, 02:24 AM
I'd like to ditto what everyone else said. Leave him, you are better than him. You can find someone else to watch your child. He should not be mooching off of you, and if he acts like a jackass about getting up with his own child, then how do you expect him to act when he is watching an infant that is not his? I am telling you, he will act as if you deserve to give him the world because he watched your baby while you worked. I had 2 kids with a worthless loser and started dancing when the second kid was 8 months. My ex complained and it wasnt "real work" to him either, but yet he did not work. It was annoying because even if he did take care of the kids while I slept in from working, he would act as if I deserved to give him the world because he did. That got old REAL FAST. I am curious as to why you chose to have the baby as well (but I guess abortion is not for everyone) and why you are sticking in this relationship. Please get out now. Don't make the same mistake I did.
The family of this loser are just as stupid and worthless as he is. Who cares what they think? My mom was like "Why would you become a stripper and degrade yourself. I would rather clean shit than strip." I was just like WTF?!!?? Somehow nudity=degrading. As if I never felt degrading working for mininum wage, being told off by rude custies and unable to do anything, and doing all the grunt work of lovely Mcdonalds. I said yes being naked may not be for you, but it doesn't make it degrading. Some people need a wake up call.
jaizaine
08-25-2008, 03:29 AM
I he only works part time and contributes ZERO income to our household. He justifies this by saying that "stripping isn't working, all you do is shake your ass and shove your pussy in guy's faces and they hand you money". He bitches nonstop about me sleeping in and calls me lazy- he just doesn't seem to understand or care that while he's at home at night watching TV, smoking pot, drinking, sleeping and generally being a worthless loser, I'm out making money to support us and our son.
Get rid of this loser, he will soon move onto the next woman to live as a parasite with her. This annoys me to read coz it is that stereotype of the stripper with the loser boyfriend. Of course he is ok with you being pregnant to someone else, he gets to sit around all day and get stoned and u r paying for it.
Seriously how can you justify going to work and puttin up with the bullshit that we have to put up with just to pay for this guy to be a deadbeat loser?
FUCK THAT.
I dont think the fact that your son loves him is an issue. Your son deserves him mother to be treated right and he is too young to understand that the guy is a loser but when he gets older do u want that as his role model?
Are some women so desperate just to have a penis in the house that they will put up with anything?
txchick008
08-25-2008, 06:35 AM
I want to vent also. My husband is really getting on my nerves. Right now, I am making more than him. He works 40 hours a week + an extra 8 hours each Saturday at an extra patrol job. So, 48 hours/week. I work about 12-14 hours per week. And I still make more. It pisses him off. He tells me that I should, "work more", and "we're still behind". (I didn't work for 2 months after my office job). I told him that as long as I am making MORE than him, he shouldn't be saying a THING to me about this....Am I in the right or the wrong here?
Jenny
08-25-2008, 06:42 AM
I want to vent also. My husband is really getting on my nerves. Right now, I am making more than him. He works 40 hours a week + an extra 8 hours each Saturday at an extra patrol job. So, 48 hours/week. I work about 12-14 hours per week. And I still make more. It pisses him off. He tells me that I should, "work more", and "we're still behind". (I didn't work for 2 months after my office job). I told him that as long as I am making MORE than him, he shouldn't be saying a THING to me about this....Am I in the right or the wrong here?
I kind of think you might be...
Like you are dealing with family bills as a family; it could be one of those "contribute what you can" rather than "match $ for $" situations.
HOWEVER.
There may be reasons you are working only 18 hours a week. Do you have other things going? Children? Do you feel burned out? Like I don't think "I outearn you so meh" is a good argument but "Look, dancing is hard work for me and I tend to plateau after 18 hours a week so there is no point in burning myself out for the next week" is as is "Look, I am also enrolled in school/running a home business/looking after our children which is time consuming and exhausting."
txchick008
08-25-2008, 06:47 AM
^^
Yes - We have 2 kids and I am in school as well. I have a bad back (severe scoliosis) and have issues working longer than 4-5 hours at a stretch without driving home in tears. I do EVERYTHING in our home. We get cleaning ladies to come by once every 2 weeks, but those of you with children know that you still have to clean in between..... All he does, is go to work. It really pisses me off when he says stuff like, "you should work more", "you're just doing the very minimum". Really? The very minimum? ARRGHGHHHHH....The very minimum is still more than he makes. He doesn't lift a finger around the house or with the kids, so I REALLY don't think he has room to tell ME, to try to work more.
Phheew! Wow, that felt good. That is one topic I am so pissed about inside.
jaizaine
08-25-2008, 06:52 AM
Txchick - I am a firm believer in not working too much as a stripper. If I worked more than 3 nights a week I would get grumpy and burned out and therefore make less money. It's not the type of job that I could do 5 nights a week.
My shifts are usually 8-10 hours anyway.
I dont think he should be looking at it in terms of normal jobs where the amount of hours you work is directly and positively correlated to the amount of income you make.
Jenny
08-25-2008, 06:56 AM
It sounds to me like you are definitely contributing what you can. Sometimes guys need to have it explained to them that stripping is not a golden goose that produces without effort, and neither is housekeeping or childcare.
^^
Yes - We have 2 kids and I am in school as well. I have a bad back (severe scoliosis) and have issues working longer than 4-5 hours at a stretch without driving home in tears. I do EVERYTHING in our home. We get cleaning ladies to come by once every 2 weeks, but those of you with children know that you still have to clean in between..... All he does, is go to work. It really pisses me off when he says stuff like, "you should work more", "you're just doing the very minimum". Really? The very minimum? ARRGHGHHHHH....The very minimum is still more than he makes. He doesn't lift a finger around the house or with the kids, so I REALLY don't think he has room to tell ME, to try to work more.
Phheew! Wow, that felt good. That is one topic I am so pissed about inside.
Dancing is very labor intensive, in fact, it's more exhausting to go in for 4 hrs than to work 12hrs in an office setting. Each day varies, but the BS is all the same.
I'm generally a workaholic, but this year I've let the family win and I've been trying to find a "normal job." Fast forward to now, I'm still dancing, found a few "not for me" opportunities that were making me physically ill, and because my head is all screwed up from the "normal jobs" have lost my mojo and am not really putting in any days at work. My money has suffered as a result, I'm beyond pissed and I'm burnt out on every level.
I'm sick and tired of the naysayers, it really effects my mood and go-getter mentality to work. People don't realize that they're not helpful when they're being negative. I'm done with the BS and so tuning out the haters. I know I can't dance forever, but I don't have to be reminded of that fact like every day.
Andygirl
08-25-2008, 07:23 AM
^^
Yes - We have 2 kids and I am in school as well. I have a bad back (severe scoliosis) and have issues working longer than 4-5 hours at a stretch without driving home in tears. I do EVERYTHING in our home. We get cleaning ladies to come by once every 2 weeks, but those of you with children know that you still have to clean in between..... All he does, is go to work. It really pisses me off when he says stuff like, "you should work more", "you're just doing the very minimum". Really? The very minimum? ARRGHGHHHHH....The very minimum is still more than he makes. He doesn't lift a finger around the house or with the kids, so I REALLY don't think he has room to tell ME, to try to work more.
Phheew! Wow, that felt good. That is one topic I am so pissed about inside.
It also might be good to think of it from his perspective. He's probably been working that 48-hour a week job for a long time, right? And you are a new dancer, right? So, this money that you just started making. He's looking at it as he's been busting his ass for a long time and he sees that as harder work that your job (which, it probably is).
That doesn't mean he should be on your ass about working more, though. If you are taking care of the kids, etc., then he needs to back off. Maybe he just wants some credit for the long hours he does work, rather than you saying, "but I make more than you." He might see that as a slap in the face because he does work so much. It might be emasculating for him to see you start a job where you're making all this money all of the sudden, when he's used to being the breadwinner.
CKXXX
08-25-2008, 10:24 AM
Yeah my husband does this sometimes as well....even after all these years he doesnt get it that this is a job that some people can only do a certain amount of time. I work as much as I can...dancing,shooting, webcam, etc...etc...Could I work more?Yeah...I could be on the webcam 24/7 when I'm not doing anything else...and I AM trying to get on more often...but this business burns you out fast sometimes and my mental and physical health start to decline.
Crow2
08-25-2008, 10:36 AM
Why do guys do this? Because even our SO's get sucked into the BS propaganda of what I call " The Glizty stripper LIfe" . Movies, TV.. everything today makes us look like lazy, no working, spoiled divas that do nothing but sit around and eat bon-bons at work.
When in fact it is quite the opposite. Most of the SW'ers are also super strippers, money smart hard working individuals that have families and are working to better themselves. In many, many different ways.
These guys LIVE with us, if they can't see what's going on - somebody needs to whang them up'side the head with a cast iron skillet. I mean really.. what exactly do they think we do when we go to work.
Sorry.. that just chaps my behind to no end.
Zia_Abq
08-25-2008, 10:39 AM
I think it's a job that you make as hard or easy as you want it. A dancer can sit on her butt and barely move on stage if she wants or she can hustle like hell and put on a good stage show and everything in between.
Ofcourse the harder you work the greater the rewards so if a woman only cares to make just enough to get by she may not work very hard at all but if she wants to earn a nice profit then she busts her ass to do accomplish that goal.
Emily
08-25-2008, 10:46 AM
There are a lot of reasons not to tell your SO how much you made.
They don't get how you can make $100 one night and $2000 another night and actually do less for the $2000 night. It's very uncomfortable for them to process, especially if they have never worked in a strip club. They don't get that guys spend thousands for nothing but company on a regular basis. And if they do get it, they often resent it...because he's only getting $20 for an hour of ball-busting, back-breaking work.
But, let me state again, that doesn't mean the OP's boyfriend is any less of a douche. If I were him, and my girlfriend was making enough by doing "easy work" so that I didn't have to, I'd feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Not complaining!
Susan Wayward
08-25-2008, 10:51 AM
^^^ unless they've been around people with money and totally, completely get how guys spend money for absolutely nothing. Like bottle service, heh. The concept of spending money to look cool/because you can/because you've been sold on a luxury item is not limited to the strip club. Though I can see how it's difficult to understand. It blows my mind if I think about it too much.
Emily
08-25-2008, 10:51 AM
^^^ unless they've been around people with money and totally, completely get how guys spend money for absolutely nothing. Like bottle service, heh.
I modified. :)
Sveta
08-25-2008, 11:19 AM
^^^ unless they've been around people with money and totally, completely get how guys spend money for absolutely nothing. Like bottle service, heh. The concept of spending money to look cool/because you can/because you've been sold on a luxury item is not limited to the strip club.
You're not kidding. When I was a VIP/bottle hostess at a nightclub, my parents seriously got it in their heads that I was a hooker b/c of the cash I would come home with. ::) No, people really do spend hundreds a night just to sit in the "exclusive" area and drink expensive liquor and look hot, lol.
Besides the obvious problem of them not knowing their daughter well enough after 21 years to know that she wouldn't be hooking...I guess I can see how it's hard to believe or comprehend how some people throw money around at clubs. If you're not in the nightlife/entertainment scene, a nightclub is like a foreign country in general--you just don't. get. it.
Luxurious1
08-25-2008, 11:23 AM
Dump his ass already. One comment from a guy like that and i would be out.
Gwennnnnn
08-25-2008, 12:57 PM
I think that it is really hard work and that you'd be better off without your boyfriend..
Djoser
08-25-2008, 01:27 PM
I think it's a job that you make as hard or easy as you want it. A dancer can sit on her butt and barely move on stage if she wants or she can hustle like hell and put on a good stage show and everything in between.
Yeah, similar to being a DJ--and for people to say a dancer's or a DJ's job is easy, when they've never done it (or only done it in clubs that tolerate slackers) is displaying ignorance and arrogance in equal measure. Some dancers work very hard, some don't, but for most who put some effort into it, it's a very demanding environment at the least.
I too have listened to rude, ignorant people telling me I am not really working, it's not a 'real job', why aren't I waking up at a 'decent hour', etc., etc. A couple of them were family members, too.
I'd love to see how these guys who claim stripping is easy would react to some fat smelly slob suddenly shoving his finger up his ass when his back was turned bending over. And the potential for this to happen never goes away, even in a club like mine where the guy will risk bodily injury if he resists being thrown out for even trying it. I have worked in clubs where a dancer would get laughed at for complaining about it, as well--and then there is the constant verbal assault that goes on.
Hell I work 3 nights by choice to stay fresh, and I make good money doing it. Fuck anyone who says it's not hard work or I don't deserve what I make. This is the attitude the OP needs to develop.
txchick008
08-25-2008, 02:16 PM
It also might be good to think of it from his perspective. He's probably been working that 48-hour a week job for a long time, right? And you are a new dancer, right? So, this money that you just started making. He's looking at it as he's been busting his ass for a long time and he sees that as harder work that your job (which, it probably is).
That doesn't mean he should be on your ass about working more, though. If you are taking care of the kids, etc., then he needs to back off. Maybe he just wants some credit for the long hours he does work, rather than you saying, "but I make more than you." He might see that as a slap in the face because he does work so much. It might be emasculating for him to see you start a job where you're making all this money all of the sudden, when he's used to being the breadwinner.
You made a really good point. BUT, he wasn't the breadwinner to begin with. When I was working in the corporate world, I was making almost twice as much as him. Of course, I was putting in 60-hour weeks....but...the thing is, I didn't rub it in his face. When he was slacking on $$$, I didn't tell HIM to work more.
The only time I brought it up recently (making more than him), was when he started telling me that I needed to "work more". I don't think he gets that you don't work 40+ hours a week as a dancer, and he shouldn't ask me to :( I'm still new, and it does take a lot out of me.
I could never handle that. The money gets made. I think he thinks I'm lazy or something....He also gets pissed off when I say I am going to work specific days, but then change my mind and work a different night instead. It doesn't affect him ANY. The money comes in, either way.
I love him very much - I just wish he'd back off, because it's been causing some huge fights lately.
I think I will take some of your advice, and not tell him exactly what I'm making. It shouldn't matter.
BTW, this is post 666. hahaha, spooky.
iambonbon05
08-25-2008, 02:42 PM
$100 for childcare? I'm sure you could find a sweet high school girl that would be thrilled to do that.
Fuck him (not literally, and if you do, well, some condoms are in order)
Seriously though, get out. Good luck. Stop making excuses he is absolutely worthless. I can understand some commenting but NOT when he sits around the house all day!
Saoirse
08-25-2008, 06:45 PM
There's some stellar advice in this thread. I hope you take it to heart.