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View Full Version : How do you define a crappy private dance?



Bob_Loblaw
08-24-2008, 11:58 PM
Since Perry is reluctant to start the thread on her own, I'll go ahead and create one on her behalf.

As a customer, what makes a private dance crappy in your opinion?

pookie
08-25-2008, 12:24 AM
well, there this thread over on the pinks side. Its about farting.

SPLUT
08-25-2008, 07:26 AM
Bottom line? If the little head doesn't start thinking for itself it was a crappy dance. I'm not talking about full on rod of steel, just the starting of a chub.

Lapaholic
08-25-2008, 08:09 AM
If I am musing on my own mortality then it prolly was a sucky dance....



But to answer ----
1) Lack of Lingering ie I hate it when as dancer bounces from one position to another to another, doing handstands and whatever. Stay in one place for 2 minutes.

2) Blunt Force Trauma - ie be careful, I only have one - it aint much but its all i got

grindonme
08-25-2008, 08:14 AM
I've never gotten a private dance but this is my quote from the other thread about what defines a crappy dance

Man i've seen dancers while they're supposed to be giving dances hold conversations with other dancers, order food from the waitress, text on her phone, just stand there and do one move the whole song (move hips back and forth, try to start and dance in the middle of the song and then ask for $$$$$ when it ends, etcc......

yoda57us
08-25-2008, 08:23 AM
No intimacy, no connection, no eye contact. Physical contact is nice but I've spent hundreds on girls who were barely allowed to touch me but had all of the other intangibles that make for a great LD.

carmen_b
08-25-2008, 02:21 PM
Bottom line? If the little head doesn't start thinking for itself it was a crappy dance. I'm not talking about full on rod of steel, just the starting of a chub.

Lol ... a chub.

mr_punk
08-25-2008, 05:47 PM
getting a dance from a stripper who thinks she knows better than i what constitutes a good dance.

CalifSCVisitor65
08-25-2008, 06:03 PM
Hmmm dancing too fast. I had someone relatively new last time in Vegas and I had to tell her to please slow down. It wasn't meant to be critical, but just some custy feedback.

lestat1
08-25-2008, 06:29 PM
Well, geting ripped off and getting no dance at all certainly counts! lol

Also:
A dance far tamer than is standard for the club or its rules.
Dancing too fast or grinding too hard.
BO, stinky butt, etc. In general not smelling sexy 'n girly.
Me not having an erection.
Disinterest or a lack of effort on her part.
A dance lacking sensuality.
Leaving with buyer's remorse (I would have a hard time enjoying a dance if, while still being a great dance, it cost something like $100/song).

rlams2000
08-25-2008, 07:36 PM
She smells so bad that I have to hold my breath.

rlams2000
08-25-2008, 07:37 PM
getting a dance from a stripper who thinks she knows better than i what constitutes a good dance.

Mr Punk, may I use this in my signature?

GSWRD
08-25-2008, 07:41 PM
No intimacy, no connection, no eye contact. Physical contact is nice but I've spent hundreds on girls who were barely allowed to touch me but had all of the other intangibles that make for a great LD.


Hmmm dancing too fast. I had someone relatively new last time in Vegas and I had to tell her to please slow down. It wasn't meant to be critical, but just some custy feedback.


Well, geting ripped off and getting no dance at all certainly counts! lol

Also:
A dance far tamer than is standard for the club or its rules.
Dancing too fast or grinding too hard.
BO, stinky butt, etc. In general not smelling sexy 'n girly.
Me not having an erection.
Disinterest or a lack of effort on her part.
A dance lacking sensuality.
Leaving with buyer's remorse (I would have a hard time enjoying a dance if, while still being a great dance, it cost something like $100/song) .I'd have to agree with all of these fellas, took the words right out of my mouth

Bob_Loblaw
08-25-2008, 10:45 PM
This happened during a lapdance
It'll help if we all had the same understanding of what definition of 'private dance' was intended in the OP. In the interests of consistency among the responses, simply it's any dance you pay for. Just explain the context of the dances so we know where you're coming from. It'll also take into account differences in what a standard dance entails between various regions.

xdamage
08-26-2008, 03:43 AM
Yea, the confusion here is the way the word "private" is used. Roughly -

1) In the past, "strippers" were dancers who dances on stage, taking their clothes off (aka, "stripping"). Everyone watched the same stage, same show.

2) Later in time... If you paid extra for her to come to your chair, table, or use an area in the club, for her to dance for you personally (versus the whole crowd), this could be called "a private dance" (note it doesn't necessarily mean nobody else can see you, but it is private in the sense that she is not dancing on stage for everyone else in the club).

3) Later in time... If you paid extra for her to dance in such a way that she is "in your lap" at times, this is a "lap dance" because the key interesting factor is she is in some way touching the customer (or nearly so) by dancing in his lap. Lap dances are also "private" in the same way #2 above is.

So like Bob said, what is meant is "any dance you pay for".

grindonme
08-26-2008, 09:30 AM
It'll help if we all had the same understanding of what definition of 'private dance' was intended in the OP. In the interests of consistency among the responses, simply it's any dance you pay for. Just explain the context of the dances so we know where you're coming from. It'll also take into account differences in what a standard dance entails between various regions.

He took a quote i made in another thread titled "Have you ever came during a lapdance and said he was confused because i said in this private dance thread that i'd never gotten a private dance

edit....oh ok after reading the below quote i understand what he was talking about now. Where i'm from a private dance is when you go to the VIP with just you and her


Yea, the confusion here is the way the word "private" is used. Roughly -

1) In the past, "strippers" were dancers who dances on stage, taking their clothes off (aka, "stripping"). Everyone watched the same stage, same show.

2) Later in time... If you paid extra for her to come to your chair, table, or use an area in the club, for her to dance for you personally (versus the whole crowd), this could be called "a private dance" (note it doesn't necessarily mean nobody else can see you, but it is private in the sense that she is not dancing on stage for everyone else in the club).

3) Later in time... If you paid extra for her to dance in such a way that she is "in your lap" at times, this is a "lap dance" because the key interesting factor is she is in some way touching the customer (or nearly so) by dancing in his lap. Lap dances are also "private" in the same way #2 above is.

So like Bob said, what is meant is "any dance you pay for"..

occasional visitor
08-28-2008, 06:49 PM
While i'd like to just say "i know it when i see it" I can list a few specifics.

Lack of enthusiasm (real or acted).
Distraction (stripper too busy looking around, checking out other girls, patrons, waitresses, etc).
Does very few 'moves' and repeats them often, typically in the same order.
Less contact than average for the club without another redeeming feature (very sensual, extra eye contact, absolutely smoking, etc).
Too fast (I've had a few that apparently thought lap dancing was a race).
Dancer smells.

Typically to actually be crappy a dance hits multiple items from this list.

Perry
08-29-2008, 05:40 PM
Since Perry is reluctant to start the thread on her own, I'll go ahead and create one on her behalf.

As a customer, what makes a private dance crappy in your opinion?

lol, I rarely come over to blue. Every time I do it, someone beats me with a stick.

Ms. Mia Roberts
08-29-2008, 05:59 PM
I love getting intimate with the customers....i aim to make them feel like they are the only guy i actually ENJOY grinding on....

But i think this has mislead a couple guys in thinking that it was my way of coming on to them.....and have been very shocked when i turned down thier numbers...lol

which makes me think of another question....i guess this is off the topic but...

should i take guys phone numbers? I mean, its obvious i'm not gonna call....but is it better to take the number and not call...or just be upfront and honest by refusing it....what do customers admire more?

Any custs that can help me??/:O

doc-catfish
08-29-2008, 06:16 PM
A lot of things can go wrong during a dance I suppose, the worst being with a gal who doesn't seem to be terribly interactive in her expressions. I mean a little RGC position is fine, but not for the entire dance.

grindonme
08-29-2008, 06:37 PM
I love getting intimate with the customers....i aim to make them feel like they are the only guy i actually ENJOY grinding on....

But i think this has mislead a couple guys in thinking that it was my way of coming on to them.....and have been very shocked when i turned down thier numbers...lol

which makes me think of another question....i guess this is off the topic but...

should i take guys phone numbers? I mean, its obvious i'm not gonna call....but is it better to take the number and not call...or just be upfront and honest by refusing it....what do customers admire more?

Any custs that can help me??/:O

I think its better if you just turn the # down, just tell them you got a friend (don't say boyfriend) that you're starting to like and focusing on him.

Ms. Mia Roberts
08-29-2008, 06:44 PM
I think its better if you just turn the # down, just tell them you got a friend (don't say boyfriend) that you're starting to like and focusing on him.


Thanks...this is what i usually do...but i didn't know if this turns off potential regulars. I haven't worked long enough to get any regulars so i wouldn't know...:-\

yoda57us
08-29-2008, 06:51 PM
I don't offer my number. Of course I'm married (but then again so are half the guys who are offering). If a lady offers hers or asks for mine it is so we can keep in touch about my coming to see her and spend money on her at the club. If you take a guy's number he should understand that is why you are doing it.

Of course, some guys are just idiots. My ATF, who never sees guys OTC has had problems with midnight attempted "booty calls" by guys who were only supposed to be calling her, during the day, to see when she was working...

Ms. Mia Roberts
08-29-2008, 06:59 PM
I don't offer my number. Of course I'm married (but then again so are half the guys who are offering). If a lady offers hers or asks for mine it is so we can keep in touch about my coming to see her and spend money on her at the club. If you take a guy's number he should understand that is why you are doing it.

Of course, some guys are just idiots. My ATF, who never sees guys OTC has had problems with midnight attempted "booty calls" by guys who were only supposed to be calling her, during the day, to see when she was working...


Yea, right now i only have one phone....so i can't just give out that number so freely...i definitely don't want them to think its anything but business too...

jester214
08-29-2008, 07:06 PM
If I find myself considering the architecture, the decore, or the confiness of the couch, then I know it's a crappy lapdance.

grindonme
08-29-2008, 09:24 PM
Thanks...this is what i usually do...but i didn't know if this turns off potential regulars. I haven't worked long enough to get any regulars so i wouldn't know...:-\

Nahhh it doesn't, when you say "friend" instead of boyfriend it tells the guy you're not really attached so the next time they come in things might be different.

Ms. Mia Roberts
08-29-2008, 09:55 PM
Nahhh it doesn't, when you say "friend" instead of boyfriend it tells the guy you're not really attached so the next time they come in things might be different.



Awesome advice....thanks :thanx:



Oh and i just gave a lap dance to this customer....who fuckin jackhammered me....he was a lil crazy.....with a twitch....so maybe not all customers do this....but....word of advice to those custys who don't already know....JUST SIT STILL....

I'm not gonna get into it if you are treating me like a cheap whore....its doesn't turn me on...and it makes me want to end the dance ASAP...no matter how much money you are paying me


Also....DON'T REACH INTO YOUR PANTS TO "ADJUST".....Its gross and a turn off....if u absolutely have to because its hurting or uncomfortable....Say that atleast....or try to do it when i'm not looking....thanks so much

MrPine
08-30-2008, 05:33 PM
I once got a dance from a gal who was wearing both a large belt buckle on her shorts, and a large broach holding her top together, both of which she managed to grind on me repeatedly....ouch.

xdamage
08-30-2008, 05:38 PM
should i take guys phone numbers? I mean, its obvious i'm not gonna call....but is it better to take the number and not call...or just be upfront and honest by refusing it....what do customers admire more?

Any custs that can help me??/:O

It's a no win scenario for you.

If you take them your money will probably increase, but they may later ask why you don't call, and become more delusional. I believe some dancers ride this out as long as possible, until they finally give up (and hope they don't turn into stalkers).

If you are honest you can have a nice drama free life, but may lose some sales.

Your choice ;)

hockeybobby
08-30-2008, 07:22 PM
Yea, right now i only have one phone....so i can't just give out that number so freely...i definitely don't want them to think its anything but business too...

Mia, you might open up a special Stripper/Customer Email account, like [email protected] and give that out to dudes who want to contact you. It's easier to control on your terms. You can use that 2-way contact to your advantage by prompting guys to come see you in the club.

Jenny
08-30-2008, 08:56 PM
Also....DON'T REACH INTO YOUR PANTS TO "ADJUST".....Its gross and a turn off....if u absolutely have to because its hurting or uncomfortable....Say that atleast....or try to do it when i'm not looking....thanks so much
Watch an Evening With Kevin Smith where he talks about his first date with his wife. You will completely change your mind on the necessity of self-adjustment during grinding.

My view - if he is uncomfortable in the lap area he is probably not going to keep buying lapdances. Ergo I want him to be comfortable.

UtahMike
08-31-2008, 12:01 AM
I once got a dance from a gal who was wearing both a large belt buckle on her shorts, and a large broach holding her top together, both of which she managed to grind on me repeatedly....ouch.

Yeah, and getting your dangly belly button piercing caught on my clothes takes away from the moment as well.

Golden_Rule
09-03-2008, 02:56 PM
I'm a very matter of fact fellow. I do my homework and direct talk with the dancer involved. So when we enter the LD room we are supposed to be on the same page, since I wouldn't be entering if I didn't have an understanding with her. So what makes for a lousy lap dance is if, after leaving the LD room, my expectations weren't met.

Don't jump to conclusions. I don't always want extras. So that isn't what I am driving at. Though if we agreed to extras before entering the LD room and I didn't get them that certainly would be crappy. :)

I mean just what I said. Since I do tend to be very direct with people, dancers included, and try to come to understandings with folks I am about to hand money to as to what I want for that money, getting less than that is a bummer.

Golden_Rule
09-03-2008, 03:21 PM
Yea, right now i only have one phone....so i can't just give out that number so freely...i definitely don't want them to think its anything but business too...

You should definately get a second cellphone. Something like a trackphone would be best [where you can get it without giving your private information and have it connected with that number]. Use it ONLY associated with work.

You can give that number out. Answer it during the day if you like. Turn it off at night. Or leave it off all the time. Chance the message to give an outgoing info that says where you are working next to let regulars know where to find you.

It is is a minimal expense that if it generates one customer a month getting an extra dance or two already pays for itself.

threlayer
09-03-2008, 08:44 PM
NO NO

A private dance is neither a VIP or a CR or certainly a table dance; it is not even a VRP dance (Very Rich Perv). It is not a dance in a club where club rules and lack of privacy occur.

It is a dance for pay in another place that you both agree upon. Local laws apply still, if you are caught, but it is in done privacy (like your home or room). However you mutually arrange it, if that doesn't happen because of violation of your agreement, then it's a crappy dance. But not getting what you've agreed upon is a crappy dance, not that you couldn't convince her to violate her own limits. For example if you expect sex in spite of your pre-arrangement and she doesn't agree, then that is NOT a crappy dance. If she won't get close to you, for example, even if she agrees beforehand that you can be nude, then it is a crappy dance. Not that this happens often.

Golden_Rule
09-05-2008, 01:02 AM
It is a dance for pay in another place that you both agree upon.

Ummmm...

As a veteran retired cop of 25 years experience I can tell you with an absolute certainty that if you take this private dance of yours, the way you define it, outside of the club in any way and give the dancer money, even if it is to simply grind in your lap, it is now an act of prostitution and you are breaking the law.

So, since what you are talking about is prostitution [which I have no problem with] what I said above doubly applies as I would certainly have a complete understanding of what I want and expect for my money, and have complete and 100% acknowledgement of it on her end, before proceeding to what is now a mutually understood and consented to time together.

threlayer
09-05-2008, 07:16 AM
Ummmm...

As a veteran retired cop of 25 years experience I can tell you with an absolute certainty that if you take this private dance of yours, the way you define it, outside of the club in any way and give the dancer money, even if it is to simply grind in your lap, it is now an act of prostitution and you are breaking the law.

So, since what you are talking about is prostitution [which I have no problem with] what I said above doubly applies as I would certainly have a complete understanding of what I want and expect for my money, and have complete and 100% acknowledgement of it on her end, before proceeding to what is now a mutually understood and consented to time together.


I was postulating and defining. If she says no sex and you pay for your private dance within those terms, then how is it sex. Even unclothed, how is it sex/prostitution? This site has a forum dedicated to this, called Private Parties. That is about how to give such parties and not get involved with prostitution etc. So your first para. doesn't apply.

Golden_Rule
09-06-2008, 12:23 AM
I was postulating and defining. If she says no sex and you pay for your private dance within those terms, then how is it sex. Even unclothed, how is it sex/prostitution? This site has a forum dedicated to this, called Private Parties. That is about how to give such parties and not get involved with prostitution etc. So your first para. doesn't apply.

It depends on the definition of sex in the state you live in but if you live in one of the states that has modern codified law as opposed to Old English Common Law, you might find that sex is defined as "sexual gratification".

Example: In other words, a man commits an act of sexual contact if he deliberately rubs up against a woman [say, on a train] in order to be sexually gratified. They are both clothed. No skin actually meets skin. Still a crime can be committed by the fact that the man intended to sexually gratify himself by rubbing up on the person [modern codified law is generally gender neutral] in question.

Same with prostitution. If you give a woman money to perform an act that is covered under the code as sexually gratifying [and almost all states would include genital to genital contact, clothed or otherwise, as sexually gratifying], BANG, you just committed an act of soliciting for prostitution.

Strip-clubs get a pass because courts have defined them as "entertainment" and created a major grey area within which strip-clubs exist. You take it OUT of the strip-club that grey area is GONE.

As it stands what you pay to get in a strip-club, a contact dance which has no extras and a dancer rubbing up on you where her private parts touch you [could even be if clothed] and is meant to be sexually gratifying to you, the person who paid for it, could very well be an act prostitution outside the strip-club.

The best way to be sure is to check the statute and ordinances in your state and the municipality it is taking place in.

The life you save may be your own.

yoda57us
09-06-2008, 06:57 PM
Once in a while I actually agree with GR...This is one of those times.

Web sites about sex exist to help guys figure the safest ways to pay for sex. That does not make the act any more or less legal than state or local law defines it. In many cities a full contact lap dance in any strip club can be an act of prostitution (based on ordinance which is, again, all that really matters) that is simply tolerated by local authorities.

threlayer
09-08-2008, 12:48 PM
Post this info on the Private Parties forum and help us all out.


Strip-clubs get a pass because courts have defined them as "entertainment" and created a major grey area within which strip-clubs exist. You take it OUT of the strip-club that grey area is GONE.

As it stands what you pay to get in a strip-club, a contact dance which has no extras and a dancer rubbing up on you where her private parts touch you [could even be if clothed] and is meant to be sexually gratifying to you, the person who paid for it, could very well be an act prostitution outside the strip-club.

The odd this is that in the club is essentially public; another odd one (re definitions) is 'entertainment.' Sex is normally entertainment, private or public. I think this is just a manipulation of the legal system to allow clubs to have privileges that we as private citizens cannot. Yeah, so what else is new?

mr_punk
09-08-2008, 05:13 PM
it's not a manipulation of the legal system. it is the legal system. decisions are often made on very fine points.

threlayer
09-08-2008, 07:12 PM
it's not a manipulation of the legal system. it is the legal system. decisions are often made on very fine points.

There are many manipulations leading to the present legal system. Here is one: in NYS when you trade in a car to a dealer and pay for a new car minus that trade-in value, state sales tax is levied on only the difference. But when you sell the car to an individual and then take that money and add to it to buy a car from a dealer, you pay the sales tax on the full value. No problem there. BUT the person you sold your old car to pays sales tax on that same value. So the state gets sales tax on that old car's value TWICE, even though your used car sale produced sales taxes for the state. That is the sort of 'manipulation' I'm talking about--preferring businesses over people.

I can describe a few others.