Log in

View Full Version : I'm pregnant :(



Pages : 1 [2] 3

Pretty_Penny
09-04-2008, 09:05 AM
see if tape recording a conversation is legal in your state. it is in some, in others you have to give notification. you can find lists online.

if it IS legal, get a mini tape recorder and try to catch him admitting to putting holes in the condom.

as far as your "relationship" goes. you guys went on dates right? you spent a lot of time together? there's no reason to tell the police he was anything other than a boyfriend. lots of women get money from their boyfriends. you're a stripper too, so what? they can't prove any sort of prostitution was happening.

Paris
09-04-2008, 09:13 AM
I have to travel 3 hours to get the pill, which is 300. Otherwise, if i do it here in my town, its 450 for suction procedure because nobody here does the pill. I dont want that :(:( Seems so cruel and painful.Even though Im only about 6 weeks, i dont want to hurt it. :(
I cant afford this now. Its so unexpected and I have a new car and new apartment and my kid started school. He NEEDS to pay for this. He has SO much money, he's not legal in the states and gets paid WAAAAY more than his check shows. Hes got the money. I just want him to pay and leave me alone.

Can you get a credit card for just this one thing? I know it sounds horrible, but after you have this resolved, then you can work on getting the $$ from the customer.

You could play head games with him for a couple of months and then fake a miscarriage, I suppose. Tell him the medical bills were $xxx to cover your procedure and any interest you had to pay on your credit card.

pookie
09-04-2008, 09:13 AM
Isn't what he did considered a for of rape in a way??

Yekhefah
09-04-2008, 09:35 AM
By the way, have you been STD tested yet? Full panel? Sperm cells aren't the only thing living in semen.

jasmine
09-04-2008, 09:56 AM
Have you checked to see if Medicaid pays for abortions in your state? Also before 6 or 7 weeks some ER's used to do them. I had a friend who went to the ER for an unrelated issue, somehow found out she was pregnant while there and they offered to terminate it right there for her.

Paris
09-04-2008, 10:01 AM
Please, just find the cash to go get this done. Once you have the pregnancy issue resolved, you can deal with this customer better on an emotional level. Take out a loan, get a credit card, sell something or have a garage sale this weekend.

Just get this resolved asap. Make the appointment right now. Most medical facilities don't require 100% payment at the time of service, anyway.

Procrastination will not make this any better. You won't be able to convince this guy to give you money to terminate this pregnancy before it is too late. He maliciously deceived you in order to control you. You need to take care of yourself on this one.

StarryEyes
09-04-2008, 10:08 AM
Well, if you are only 6 weeks along, you most likely aren't showing yet. Work yer little butt off and make the $300 yourself. It is not worth it to depend on this guy.

Does he know your full name, and where you live?

Do what you gotta do to keep this guy away from you. File a R/O, report him to immigration, change your name/address, and for the love of God please do what you can to protect your child. This guy is controlling and demanding and I think he'll stop at nothing to have his way with you, even if that means putting your child in harm's way.

Do not keep in contact with him. Hire a P.I. to document his behavior too. This way if he is doing something illegal, the P.I. will have the evidence to put this guy away.

I'm not one for abortions usually, but in this situation, I can completely understand why you'd want to have one.

And I think from here on out, it may be a good idea for you not to sleep with any customers anymore. And if you do, go on the Pill AND use a condom.

Good luck girl. My thoughts are with you.

StarryEyes
09-04-2008, 10:10 AM
Have you checked to see if Medicaid pays for abortions in your state? Also before 6 or 7 weeks some ER's used to do them. I had a friend who went to the ER for an unrelated issue, somehow found out she was pregnant while there and they offered to terminate it right there for her.


God idea.

Or get a credit card if you have to. Getting approved for $500 is usually very easy, if you have decent credit.

And Paris, I was going to say the same as you...
fake a miscarriage and blame it on stress.

Bianca O'Blivion
09-04-2008, 10:14 AM
And Paris, I was going to say the same as you...
fake a miscarriage and blame it on stress.

Right on.

I feel for you, OP. (((HUGS))) Be strong, and Karma exists. He's going to suffer for dong such a shitty rotten thing to you.

RoseLeigh
09-04-2008, 10:44 AM
do it! It's worth a shot to tell him "300$ by this weekend, or I report you to the INS." If he wants to play dirty by poking holes in the condom, don't be afraid to ream it right back to him.

Or just dance your ass off and get that money fast...and actually report him to immigrations without even warning him first. Revenge is best served cold. You could even steal the money from him if you had the chance...what is he going to do, file a police report and risk getting deported?

That's exactly what I would do! He wants to threaten you? F**k him. Depending on what country he's from, he'll be out SO fast. Work hard, make some money, sell something if you have to. You have a computer, maybe other things you could hock? And I don't want to encourage illegality, but is there any other person would *ahem* pay for your company or at least be a good sugar daddy if work is that bad? Or maybe co-sign on a loan? Can you tell your family you need $375 for medical bills? You can do it!

MoetATL07
09-04-2008, 12:22 PM
If you go to there are the national network of abortion funds and there supposed to help u find money to get it done.

head turner
09-04-2008, 12:52 PM
its 300 DOLLARS OR THE LARGEST MISTAKE, MAYBE OF YOUR LIFE.

beg borrow and STEAL THE MONEY!!

sparkleeyz
09-04-2008, 01:13 PM
which would mean, everyone should have access to boob jobs too huh? but i'm done as i don't want to stray to far off the topic. i was not offering advise but saying that if she can't pay for the abortion then what can she do? I didn't tell her to have the baby, but the longer you wait, the more it costs. if she really wanted the abortion she could hook some more to get the money and it would be said and done.


:spit: :rotfl: :dunce:

LMAO!!! Free abortions don't cause AIDS silly girl. People who think the worst thing to come from sex is a baby will/would think so regardless of whether or not they had to pay for an abortion. And it's not like she had unprotected sex....so basically you're saying that even those who have protected sex are wrong? STD testing is free as well, does that automatically mean more people are going to have protected sex? And the boob job thing? Did that make sense when you were typing it? Wow, the education system down south must really suck. And the statement in bold was just rude and unecessary. Don't get nasty because you made absolutely no sense and you got called on it.


Anyway, to the OP. I say you bust your ass at work to get the abortion money and never talk to him again. See if the clinic will put you on a payment plan.

MsLayne
09-04-2008, 01:35 PM
I love you so much sparkle for that comment. I was posting on the other thread of how I thought she was an ass. She's young and hasn't seen how the real world is and its sad.

To the OP, my heart is with you. I'm hoping you find the funds to do so. I know, I got a consultation from planned parenthood, who then referred me to a clinic and I was around the same time as you. Go in and see if they have assistance for you.

Atom
09-04-2008, 02:11 PM
oh my gosh i cannot BELIEVE THAT HE WOULD DO THIS TO YOU! i'm so fucking angry for you, what an absolute monster. he has tried to take away you controll of your own body and he's tried to take away your rights. run so far away from this guy. i wish you all the luck in the world with your abortion, it shouldnt be too bad at 6 weeks. you can earn that money very fast, you can do this. be strong

~Isabella
09-04-2008, 02:39 PM
I just wanted to say I'm sorry sweetie. What a horrible thing to go through.

I say if he wants to play dirty, you play dirty too. Blackmail him threaten to have him deported unless he coughs up the money AND never contacts you again....I'm sorry this is hapenign to you. what a nightmare. :hug:

StarryEyes
09-04-2008, 02:50 PM
I wouldn't give him any warning. I would just do it. a) He doesn't deserve a warning, and b) he could violently react if you threaten him.

CarlyMIA
09-04-2008, 02:50 PM
anyway, if you can't afford the abortion, then all you can do is have the baby.....

Uhm... having a baby is WAAAAY more expensive than abortion... they don't even compare!

Flick6
09-04-2008, 03:24 PM
That is so fucked up, he is utterly wrtong and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

You dont want to be tied to a man like that for the rest of your life. He is obviously very sick!! Controlling evil fuck, sounds like he planned it all out, get pretty lady pregnant get citersinship.

Good luck getting your money together. I really think the best thing for you emotionally and safety wise would be to not bother trying to work him over for the money. I dont think he can be trusted to make yourself reliant on him in any way.

I hope he gets booted out of the country, but agree with other posters, it isnt worth your safety to threaten him with it, just do it and make sure he cant find you afterwards.


Poor thing, hope you are okay.

What a sick fucker.

glitzy
09-04-2008, 03:24 PM
i just wanted to mention that the vaccuum aspiration is a better choice IMO. i had one when i was 17 & it only hurt for a few seconds, then it was over & i just rested for a few days. i've know three girls who took the pill & out of those three, two still had parts of the baby left in them! so they had to get a vaccuum aspiration procedure done anyway & pay for them both. all three suffered for days miscarriaging at home.

this is just my experience & opinion. while the pill sounds easier i think in reality it actually is not.

i'm so sorry...i wish i knew of any legal actions you could take against this dude, besides deportation, which is probably the best solution. just get him out of your life & look forward. :hug:

keira0304
09-04-2008, 03:53 PM
^ I agree. the pill can end up with an incomplete abortion and then you have to get a D&C anyways. i would highly recommend getting general anesthesia and just getting completely knocked out for it. Dance for 5 days straight and you'll have more than enough money for the abortion and to rest for 2 weeks afterwards.

iambonbon05
09-04-2008, 04:55 PM
Oh man, I wish I'd seen this sooner. First off, I am so, so sorry. How horrible.

Sounds like dancing isn't making much money lately where you're at (god, here too) but even if you're making less than minimum wage you have time to make that money. Try another club, work doubles, sell stuff, get a credit card or a loan. You can do it. *hugs*

Stay safe. Like others said I'd just go ahead and report him. He deserves it and it's safer. In case nothing is done though (all too likely), be very careful.

Good luck, keep us updated.

veronicachick
09-04-2008, 07:28 PM
I'm soooo sorry. Don't steal from him.. could make matters worse if he tried to report you to the police... Police don't really look at people's status in the country when they file a report.. I, too, am for you leaving this asshole alone and finding a way to get this money. Are there any corners you can cut this month, and have money to get this abortion? good luck, I am wishing you well.

Sirona
09-04-2008, 07:37 PM
First off the guy is obviously a fucking whack job.

Secondly, you put yourself in this situation.
Now before everyone gets all in a tizzy, what I mean is, you made the decision to have this "faux relationship" for a monetary fee. I'm not saying you deserve what he did or somehow brought it on yourself, but you made the decision to do what you did with him and now there are consequences.

Stop fucking around as far as thinking of ways to make him take responsibility for it. It's a waste of time an energy.

Be an adult, step up and deal with it and walk away and don't look back
Learn from your mistakes.

Lexi
09-04-2008, 08:10 PM
......

Corgan
09-04-2008, 08:20 PM
Im independent and have only gone to him when I really needed extra money.

extra money is worth having sex with a custy to you? i say, condom or not, you kind of did bring this on yourself. i know you may think that's shitty of me to say, but like my mom always told me, "if you're ready to lay down with someone, you're ready to get pregnant." with that said...

i think you're making a good decision!

Corgan
09-04-2008, 08:21 PM
He will NOT report you for being a prostitute if he's an illegal alien. Think about it. What happens when pretty little immigration/thelaw finds out he's illegal AND doing illegal things in their precious country?

Nah, he wouldn't risk it. He's not THAT dumb.

Don't even worry about those lies.


lys is 100% correct.

NewMoon
09-04-2008, 08:29 PM
extra money is worth having sex with a custy to you? i say, condom or not, you kind of did bring this on yourself. i know you may think that's shitty of me to say, but like my mom always told me, "if you're ready to lay down with someone, you're ready to get pregnant." with that said...

i think you're making a good decision!
If she got pregnant through a condom, I think she would be responsible but she should not have to take responsibility for his choice to put holes in the condom.

OP, I'm very sorry this happened to you. I had a guy once take off the condom without me noticing and I felt so violated. I can't imagine what you are going through with a pregnancy. Please don't think this is your fault. You consented to sex with a condom. He deceived you. He is a horrible manipulative, selfish, and deceitful person. I wish you the best of luck in going through your abortion and cutting this terrible excuse for a man out of your life.

Optimist
09-04-2008, 11:00 PM
It can still break though. Better safe than sorry. Use some backup like the pill. Or have your tubes tied.

thechaosfairy
09-04-2008, 11:14 PM
As far as I can tell, the fact that we don't have free health care in America and the fact that people think a baby is the worst consequence of sex are both consequences of the piece-of-shit educational system.

Sirona
09-05-2008, 07:50 AM
If she got pregnant through a condom, I think she would be responsible but she should not have to take responsibility for his choice to put holes in the condom.



She isn't responsible for his behavior (poking holes in the condom)
She is responsible for letting him put his dick inside her.

See where i'm going with this?
Her decision to have sex with a guy OTC for money is what led to this whole mess. I have a hard time believing she wasn't aware what this guy was like to some degree. That sort of fucked up behavior doesn't generally come out of left field ya know?

Again, for the record, i'm not busting the chick for getting paid for her companionship and the aforementioned fringe benifits.

I'm just saying she needs to quit dicking around arguing about who was right and who was wrong and take care of shit.

She's an adult.

Yekhefah
09-05-2008, 07:53 AM
I agree with you, Sirona. The situation sucks, but blame is irrelevant to fixing the situation. If the condom had just broken accidentally, the OP would be in the same boat. What's important right now is severing all ties with this controlling abuser, and that means the pregnancy needs to go no matter what.

No, she shouldn't have to take responsibility, but she does. That's biology. Whenever there is a pregnancy, the onus is on the female to terminate the pregnancy or continue it. It's nice when men step up to the plate and act like real men, but we can't force them to do so and we certainly shouldn't expect them to do so in a prostitution situation.

*Iris*
09-05-2008, 07:56 AM
^ ditto


:hug:

NewMoon
09-05-2008, 07:59 AM
If the condom had just broken accidentally, the OP would be in the same boat.
I disagree. There is a big difference. I'd much rather face an unplanned pregnancy where the condom broke than one where a man violated me by putting holes in the condom in an effort to manipulate me.

Yekhefah
09-05-2008, 08:08 AM
Either way, you're just as pregnant and he's still the same controlling abuser. What's different?

NewMoon
09-05-2008, 08:12 AM
Either way, you're just as pregnant and he's still the same controlling abuser. What's different?
Nevermind. I think we should end this discussion and keep this thread devoted to helping OP. Not blaming you, I'm mostly responsible.

back on topic.......

Rockell
09-05-2008, 09:49 AM
First off the guy is obviously a fucking whack job.

Secondly, you put yourself in this situation.
Now before everyone gets all in a tizzy, what I mean is, you made the decision to have this "faux relationship" for a monetary fee. I'm not saying you deserve what he did or somehow brought it on yourself, but you made the decision to do what you did with him and now there are consequences.

Stop fucking around as far as thinking of ways to make him take responsibility for it. It's a waste of time an energy.

Be an adult, step up and deal with it and walk away and don't look back
Learn from your mistakes.

I'm with you 100%. If he's so crazy and you can't stand him you need to cut off ALL communication ASAP. $300 is not that much money in comparision to raising a child, which you are obviously aware of since you said you have children. Get the abortion, change your phone number, get out of town, do whatever you have to do to get away from this loser. Don't waste your time on blaming him, trying to get him to take responsiblity, or getting revenge, just worry about yourself and what you have to do. It's a terrible, fucked up thing that he did but it happened and if you don't want the child, you're the only one that can do something about it.

MsQwerty
09-05-2008, 12:09 PM
I have to travel 3 hours to get the pill, which is 300. Otherwise, if i do it here in my town, its 450 for suction procedure because nobody here does the pill. I dont want that :(:( Seems so cruel and painful.Even though Im only about 6 weeks, i dont want to hurt it. :(
I cant afford this now. Its so unexpected and I have a new car and new apartment and my kid started school. He NEEDS to pay for this. He has SO much money, he's not legal in the states and gets paid WAAAAY more than his check shows. Hes got the money. I just want him to pay and leave me alone.

I seriously dont think you should worry about the suction procedure, its a peace of piss honestly and is over very quickly.
The truth is he doesnt need or have to pay for anything. If he was decent he would obviously but its your body and your life and you need to just get it sorted.

MsQwerty
09-05-2008, 12:16 PM
wow. this would cause a major outbreak of AIDS as a lot of people think the worse effect from sex is a baby.

anyway, if you can't afford the abortion, then all you can do is have the baby.....both of you were wrong here so he's not as big as an ass as it seems. yeah, he was wrong for poking holes in the condom, but there wasn't supposed to be any sex anyway. go get tested for stds if you haven't already. i would rather have a baby than herpes any day

Do you realise that Australia has a much lower rate of AIDS than the US even though we have abortion on demand, free needle exchanges and prostitution is legal to name just a few things?
If someone cant afford an abortion they cant afford a baby can they, think about it.
And if you think this guy is not as bag an arse as he seems then I feel very sorry for you.
Wtf is up with the herpies comment?!

txchick008
09-05-2008, 12:41 PM
I'm sorry you are going through this. :( What a nightmare.

In the future, I would take BC pills (or use some other form of BC that you have control over), if you plan to ever sleep with SD's or customers again. If he was this shady, and did stuff to the condoms, others could to. Wow. I am just stunned.

Also, continue to get tested. If this happened just a few weeks ago, HIV may not show up yet. Sometimes it can take time to test positive. You HAVE to be tested again in several months.

Perry
09-05-2008, 12:51 PM
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're definantly making the right descision.

MsQwerty
09-05-2008, 06:13 PM
extra money is worth having sex with a custy to you? i say, condom or not, you kind of did bring this on yourself. i know you may think that's shitty of me to say, but like my mom always told me, "if you're ready to lay down with someone, you're ready to get pregnant." with that said...

i think you're making a good decision!

Im not knocking your mum, i think thats a good piece of advice to give a teenager, however all women should not have to live by this. Abortion is as old as the hills its been around as long as the worlds oldest profession. The "right to life" movement and morals restricting womens reproduction, sexual choice and abortion have not. Also its the 21st century and quite honestly its a bit dated.
Sorry to continue ot.

NewMoon
09-05-2008, 06:15 PM
^^^I believe Corgan said "get pregnant" not "give birth to a child." Whether you choose to have the kid yourself, adopt, or abort, you still have a pregnancy to deal with.

JPremium
09-06-2008, 04:24 AM
Do you realise that Australia has a much lower rate of AIDS than the US even though we have abortion on demand, free needle exchanges and prostitution is legal to name just a few things?
If someone cant afford an abortion they cant afford a baby can they, think about it.
And if you think this guy is not as bag an arse as he seems then I feel very sorry for you.
Wtf is up with the herpies comment?!


My mouth is open because ya took the words right out of them :) I could go on for DAYS about America's sexual... whatever it is.

I also nominate cutting him out ASAP; I wouldn't even pursue the money. I agree that what he did was TOTALLY wrong, but karma will take care of him alright. For example, having his first child aborted will probably be payback enough, the turd.

keira0304
09-06-2008, 04:33 AM
I still don't understand why the money is an issue. You can make the money in one night. The procedure will put you out about 2 hours depending on where you go. A night and 2 hours in exchange for the rest of your life... what's the issue here??

Atom
09-06-2008, 06:01 AM
how are things going? i think alot of un-nessesary opinions are bieng discussed here. i want to know if the OP is ok, hows it going? any news? hope things are ok and you got the abortion without too much trouble

MoetATL07
09-06-2008, 03:53 PM
For example, having his first child aborted will probably be payback enough, the turd.

I think that is a real fucked up thing to say. Abortion is not a form of payback.

Flick6
09-06-2008, 04:32 PM
how are things going? i think alot of un-nessesary opinions are bieng discussed here. i want to know if the OP is ok, hows it going? any news? hope things are ok and you got the abortion without too much trouble


Yeah how are you going??

Corgan
09-07-2008, 01:15 AM
i agree, is the OP okay??

lollies
09-07-2008, 03:35 AM
I dont think I ever want to go to Memphis re: previous posts from an unmentioned SW member!!!................
If you really need to get the money out of him have you tried another strategy. Maybe threaten him with 'never seeing you again because of a restraining order" or something along those lines if he doesnt pay up. I am sure that you will be much more alluring to him than the prospect of being a father (by the sounds of him), and its not like you have to pull through with your end of the deal once you have the money...